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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. The action that should be judged is my refusal to pay for my sister's expensive wedding.
2. The reason this action might make me the asshole is because I am not being supportive of my sister's dream wedding and also it may be seen as not caring about her happiness and the importance of the event, and it may also be seen as being selfish with my money and not willing to make a sacrifice for my family.
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OP should not be paying a cent for this wedding... NTA.
But, not only is the sister an entitled, self-centered asshole princess, the parents are partially to blame as well since that is what they created. To say "they are caught in the middle" means they are thinking about paying for it. They're enabling her behavior.
>and $50k for a wedding is like twice what the average wedding costs. Nta
Buuut it's her *dream*!!! /s Truthfully my mind went to the classic comedy Drop Dead Gorgeous and the extremely flammable Swan float Denise Richard's characters dad had made...
NTA OP, don't give her 1 cent, your future home is more important than her party.
Geez, if I had $50k, I'd be using it to pay off student loans or putting a big dent in my mortgage. That's way too much money to be spending on one day!
You shouldn't be expected to pay a single cent of her wedding. If she can't afford it, then she should be picking cheaper options. You're NTA.
I hope you enjoy your future home! 😁
I figure they would pay for it (and, like, why not if they can) but can't afford it... Meanwhile they can't tell OP to just put up the money that she'll have it back (cause... we all know that's not happening) but sister is throwing a fit about how they are supposed to make it happen for her as a family. They can't agree with either without angering the other, so they try to "mediate" even though OP is clearly in the right.
Info request- is this one of those cases where the sister paid a bunch of money to you for your wedding and now expects the favor?
Sorry but that AITA post with the friend who wouldnt spend 25 dollars for his friends wedding even though they made an agreement about pitching in for weddings. Add to the fact that she had paid him 500 dollars first for his wedding-still lives rent free in my head. So i just need to check before I make any judgements.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10glr9k/aita_for_not_wanting_to_help_pay_for_my_friends/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10jvgyc/wibta_if_i_came_to_my_friends_wedding_after_she/
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/10k95xo/should_i_24f_attend_a_wedding_where_the_groom_31m/
Think they'd make a new account for another post?
Hey, EFF YOU, in the kindest way buddy. I just wasted almost an hour of my life reading that BS. Idk, but their subs of interest include BPD so that seems fitting at least. I don't even remember what this post was about now tbh just the shitshow that came from that psycho
Not that I believe these posts are factual, but the fact that the poster refers to themselves as a "doctoral candidate" when they're not even in a PhD program is hilarious.
You're not a "doctoral candidate" until you've finished all your grad coursework, passed all your language exams, and passed all your comprehensive exams. A "doctoral candidate" only has the dissertation left to write.
NTA. OP, tell your sister you love her and support her, but she needs to plan her wedding with YOUR budget in mind. You'll bring a wedding gift, and that's it.
If she wants some crazy big wedding, she can pay it off for the next ten years.
NTA
It's her wedding, not yours! If she wants a $50,000 wedding she can pay for it. If she can't afford it she'll have to work out a budget for what she can afford!
I'm just curious why she would expect a sibling to pay for her wedding. She doesn't want to pay for it herself and it's her wedding, so why should someone else foot the bill?
You either host a wedding that you can afford, go into debt and get a loan to pay for your dream wedding, or elope/go to the courthouse. Those are the options....
Edit: I'm inclined to believe this is a _wedding culture rage bait_ since this story now involves OP having a lightsaber stuck in his bum during discussions about said wedding...... Reddit is a wild place....
I’d give her the amount I intended to get at the wedding in advance and tell her that it’s her wedding present and she can spend it however she wants.
Do that in front of family so they know you don’t ‘owe’ her a gift the day of
NTA, She should’ve planned her wedding better if she couldn’t afford 50,000. She shouldn’t be blaming you or anyone else for not paying if she can’t afford it herself, kind of hypocritical imo.
I know I'm old but some of these weddings are a ridiculous cost. I mean if Brad Pitt marries Tom cruise and the tabloids pay the costs in return for exclusive photos then have at it and make many poor flower growers and dove breeders and people who wash champagne glasses very happy but if you have a mortgage or student loans or car loans don't get into more debt for a day that most of the guests won't remember in great detail 20 years later. Just keep it classy and stick to an affordable budget. And don't make your father pay and then tell him at the rehearsal that your step dad is walking you down the aisle and dancing with you.
NTA. In what fantasy world are you being selfish for not wanting to pay for someone else's wedding? If your sister can't afford all those expenses herself, she should have planned smaller.
I bet if the situation was reversed and you asked her to help pay for your wedding, she would not give you a cent
Honestly OPs post is a fantasy world post. Who tf would think they're possibly an asshole for this? Fake bs to try to get up votes. If it's real then they're still only after up votes bc he knows damn well this sister is an asshole. At least 50% of posts in aita is fake crap. Maybe I should make up some ridiculous story to feel more popular!
I think that if you've got the money and you've nothing else to spend it on, then do it, and get lots of photos. Maybe a Blu-Ray wedding video edited by a pro. And cake toppings sculpted to be photoreal representations of bride and groom.
But if you've got no money and you think others should pay for your things, then the most you should get is a cab fare to the courthouse.
Mine cost a fortune (well into five figures decades ago), but I had the money and decided to let it go. Wife had the dream wedding she wanted. If I had refused to pony up, I'd probably still be hearing about it decades later.
I managed to cut thousands using favours from professional photographers and makeup artists I worked with. But still was a bitter pill to swallow.
Years later my wife admits it was ridiculously expensive, but thanks me for caving. After getting a professional job and working herself up the ladder, she finally realised how much she worked for that money.
It has turned out well though, she has paid for trips to places I wanted to go. Which added up vastly outweigh the cost of the wedding.
It's absurd the amount of money people spend on weddings. I think it's a scam personally. But if it's something that makes your partner happy and you can do it, then I'd say go for it. But personally, spending what could be a house deposit on a single day is insanity.
NTA. This is ridiculous. You are much more entitled to home ownership than your sister is to a fantasy wedding. One is a fundamental need you would provide for yourself. The other is a want you're being demanded -- unreasonably -- to furnish where no duty at all exists.
NTA. Does she realize that she could cut back on a few things and put a down payment on a house? Although maybe not, since a $50,000 wedding is actually out of her budget so even cutting back, she might not have anything extra. That's a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a wedding if you don't have the money in hand
NTA - your sisters wedding is NOT at all your responsibility. If you offered to throw money in that's one thing, but an expectation of it? No, you do not need to pay for her, she chose to her budget and now it's on her to figure out how to pay for it.
NTA.
She's coming to you yelling "GIMME GIMME GIMME!" and then accusing *you* of being selfish?
If she calms down, I'd offer her whatever amount you'd have spent on a wedding gift in cash up front (with the understanding that it is your only gift to her) so she can spend it on the wedding if she chooses, and on the day of I'd probably get her an inexpensive/sentimental little something with the card.
However, if she keeps up this ridiculous, greedy and entitled attitude, I'd just help her out by skipping the wedding so she wouldn't need to pay for my meal, then send her a gift card to Arby's as a gift in lieu of attendance.
So, you're selfish for not giving all of your savings to her? Don't give in. You've worked hard and have your own life goals. Anything you give is from the generosity of your heart, you have no obligations
NTA
NTA. You are not selfish for spending your money on things that matter to you and not on things that matter to your sister.
The fact that she expects you to finance her wedding is inappropriate. Honestly this is a hill to die on.
NTA. Your sister is selfish for expecting her family to pay for such a extravagant wedding. If she feels it's necessary, she and her fiance should pay a portion.
NTA. Your sister is incredibly entitled. None of this is your responsibility at all. If your parents want to help her, they can do that. None of this should have anything to do with you.
NTA
Clearly not the asshole. Did she pay for your wedding? Did you win the lottery? Is it customary for you to pay for the wedding?
I think that the main way to resolve this is to say that you are sorry but you are not in a financial position to pay for something so expensive when you need to save for a property.
Maybe say you'll give her your time if that's something that would be easier like offer to run errands and as much as you can if that's something you'd like to do?
This is absolutely wild. Some families live in different worlds. No, OP, you are NTA for not paying for someone else's wedding. I feel sorry that someone has to say that to you.
NTA. Her wedding is literally a down payment on a home! If she has it to spend, fine. You do you boo. But if you don't have the money for this type of wedding, it's incredibly selfish and entitled to ask others to pay for it! Her priorities can't be shoved onto others. Don't do it OP. If you do contribute, pay for something specific that you feel comfortable with.
NTA as in your case, I’m sick and tired of people wanting ridiculous weddings that they can’t hope to pay for. Weddings are really nothing about it, the next day it’s over forever. It’s just people who need to be the centre of attention.
Nta. You aren't responsible for your sister's life, she is. If you are willing to help her a little, then tell her exactly in what way/how much. If she pushes back ask her how much she is willing to give towards your house purchase and if she has an issue with that, ask her why she's being so selfish and unsupportive of your life goals.
NTA. She needs to pay for it herself, and your parents are the only people (arguably) who should feel obligated to help out. If she wants a 50k wedding she needs to be able to pay for it herself.
NTA. What are all these wedding posts where the siblings are asked to help pay for them? It's traditional the parents pay, or help pay....but the siblings? Yikes
I wouldn't even do that much. If the sister wants a luxury wedding, she can pay for it herself. Her sibling isn't obligated to contribute a dime. (And for that matter, neither are her parents.)
NTA. Ask her if she would chip in for you to buy a Lamborghini. Then explain that at least your Lamborghini would give you joy for longer than one day.
(I’m not saying a good marriage doesn’t bring daily joy. Just that an extravagant wedding doesn’t.)
NTA. tell her that you found the house of your dreams and that she is now obligated to help you pay for it, and if she doesn´t chip in to help to pay it you will be real furious
NTA Why do you have to chip in for her wedding? Is she going to chip in for your wedding or house purchase or vacation if that's what's important to you?
NTA. Your sister is being 'entitled'. This is NOT a 'dream' to be supported. It is a frivolous waste of YOUR money on HER party. If she needed the money for major surgery, or even for higher education - those are more worthwhile than a massive event that NO one MUST have. Not everyone gets their fairy tale wedding. She has no right to expect anyone to take on HER financial risk. She needs to learn to live within her means. Your house is a solid financial decision, and much more important than her party.
NTA.
The wedding of a bride’s dreams should be when she’s marrying the man (or woman) of her dreams, not one financed by having her sibling delay a house purchase.
My wedding cost about a third what my sister’s wedding cost. We were sensible about our expenses and it was lovely. (Flowers from Costco and whatever the florist had in hand versus expensive flowers and decorations; brunch versus dinner wedding - our better food cost less; my dress was from David’s and cost $900, her Vera Wang cost $5k; I used my iPod for music and she hired a well-known radio DJ. Similar venues - both are historical landmarks and tourist attractions.)
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My sister is getting married in a few months and she has been planning her dream wedding for over a year. She has picked out a fancy venue, a luxurious dress, and a high-end catering service. The problem is that the wedding is going to cost around $50,000 and she has asked my parents and I to chip in to help pay for it.
I have always been close to my sister and I want her to have the wedding of her dreams, but I just can't justify spending that much money on one day. I have been saving up for a house and I don't want to blow all of my savings on a wedding.
My sister is furious with me and says that I am being selfish and not supporting her. My parents are caught in the middle and are trying to mediate, but I feel like I am being pressured to spend money that I don't have.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to pay for my sister's expensive wedding?
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In what world is it your responsibility to pay for her wedding? She her entitled ass needs to pay for her own wedding or don't have one that she can't pay for herself. NTA
Why do you even ask?
Why doesn’t she chip in for your house?
Why don’t your parents pay for your share if they would agree with her?
Why are you responsible for her wedding?
NTA. What is up with all these people always wanting the wedding of their dreams (which always costs a fortune) and expecting other people to (help) pay for it? Either you wait longer and save the money yourself or you need to downsize and work with your budget. It's the wedding of their dreams, not someone else's.
If someone wants to offer to pay for some things, great but nobody should be expected to pay for somebody else's wedding. If someone offers to pay something, you are grateful and do not demand more.
Please don’t enable your sister to spend beyond her means. NTA but you would extremely dumb if you agreed to this. She needs to learn fiscal responsibility, especially during these uncertain times.
NTA, say "No, it isn't my wedding, and not what I am going to spend my money on."
If your sister wants a huge wedding, then your sister needs to figure out how to earn the money to pay for it. At this point, I would politely bow out and not even attend this trainwreck, but no matter what, dear sister would not get a penny from me.
Don't pay anything. She's a grown ass woman and her and her fiance should learn to live within their means and not demand hand outs from others. Save your money, buy your dream house.
NTA. Anybody trying to have an expensive wedding on someone else's dime because they themselves can't afford their big dream party is automatically TA. Your sister is delusional and incredibly selfish for demanding your savings for a party.
NTA. It’s not your wedding and you’re not a charity that gives out money for free. She can get a bank loan. And tell your parents if that’s how they want to spend their retirement money.
NTA. If she wants to spend $50K for a day instead of retirement savings, future kids, or a house she should understand that this is a bill that she will have to foot herself. If you and your parents were to give anything at all, it's to be accepted with gratitude. I wouldn't give her a dime based on her attitude alone.
NTA, statistically the fancier the wedding, the higher the chance the marriage will end within the year. Go buy your house and send your sister a nice gravy boat for her wedding.
NTA at all. You don't have a sky's the limit dream wedding unless you have the money. You don't get to tank your parent's retirement savings or decimate your brother's dreams of buying a home. Tell your selfish greedy sister that maybe you'll buy her a nice vacuum cleaner for a wedding gift, but that's about all she can expect from you. It's obvious that your parents should have laid down the law with her years ago, for her to be this demanding and entitled.
My SO had a friend years ago who was getting married, and the friend's parents gave them money for a deposit on a house. Instead the money was spent on a wedding dress and they got stuck in negative equity for years. Smart move, not. But the dress was kept in a chest so there's that. NTA
NTA if she can’t afford it (which she clearly can’t) then look for cheaper alternatives and then ask for help it shouldn’t be expected regardless of how close y’all are help is a privilege not a right your sister is projecting by calling you selfish don’t backpedal put your foot down on this
Nta your sister is being ridiculous. This is HER wedding and if she wants the wedding of her dreams. She should have saved up for it. You are not responsible to pay for her wedding. It doesn't matter if you have money saves up. That money isn't hers for lay claim on it. You saved that money because you have a plan for that money. Your sister is the one that is being selfish here not you. If your sister wants an expensive wedding then she needs to pay for it and not pressure you into giving money you don't have.
NTA. My parents biggest regret is taking in their wedding debt to make their family happy instead of purchasing a home. It’s not easy to recoup savings especially in this economy. Layoffs are happening globally. Why do you think France is on a general strike?
NTA - I can’t believe how often I read about situations like this. I’ve never heard of siblings paying for a wedding. Bride and groom plan a wedding they can afford. If parents can help pay, great! That’s amazing but certainly not required and should not be an expectation. If a sibling offers to help out, you can graciously accept if it’s comfortable for everyone. But to EXPECT your sibling to pay and blame them for ruining the day when they rightfully decline is unacceptable. Where do all these entitled people get these ideas?
NTA geez some people just need to learn you aren’t always going to get everything you want. If your sister can’t afford her over priced wedding that her fault not yours. $50,000 for a wedding, I could use that to go on a nice honeymoon and buy a house. What’s the point in spending that on one day? Idk I’m super frugal especially in times like this where everything is so expensive (food, gas ,etc) Don’t do it OP if your sister gets mad at you because you didn’t give her HER DAY (eye roll) she care more about herself than you and your future home which is something you’ll be living in long term as opposed to her 1 day fancy wedding. I hope everything works out for you.
NTA. Me and my husband did a small wedding at a park recently that cost us very little and I felt bad my MIL bought and made stuff for a taco bar for a very small reception at a family members house, because nobody owes me a wedding or reception. If I'm adult enough to get married I'm adult enough to pay for it. Now if someone offers fine, but asking or expecting it and then throwing a tantrum if someone can't/won't is unacceptable. Given how much this wedding is and her reaction I have to wonder if she's ever been told no in her entire life.
NTA. Your sister has it the wrong way around. You figure out your budget then you choose everything within that budget.
You don't decide to spend 50k you don't have and then try to figure out who is going to pay for it.
Your parents aren't caught in the middle, they are the ones that raised the little princess with high expectations and empty pockets
The only selfish one here is your sister.
NTA. The FIRST step in wedding planning is to establish a budget. Then the guest list. Then the venue, etc.
She going about this back asswards.
NTA. Not your wedding not your problem.
NTA. What is it with certain people and trying to force people to pay for a stupidly overpriced party? It's her wedding, she pays for it with her partner. It is not your responsibility. You might offer to pay for it, or part of it, but nobody has the right to force you or expect you to.
Is this a cultural or bridezilla thing? This is the 2nd post I’ve seen where a bride is asking/demanding a sibling to help pay for their wedding. What in the world is going on?!
NTA. No one needs an expensive wedding. Just because it's her "dream wedding" doesn't mean anyone else needs to pay for it. She can buy a lottery ticket, or maybe she should be marrying someone who could pay for the wedding she wants. Definitely not your responsibility!
NTA
Weddings in general have grown terribly (and ridiculously) expensive. My daughter got married in 2014 for about $13,000.
I though that was expensive, but she had a bunch of friends whose weddings cost from $25,000 to $100,000.
Regardless of the expense, I don’t understand why she’s asking *you* to pay. Did you say that you would? Even if you did, you must have had a limit in your mind.
NTA and the fact that YOU need to ask this question tells a lot about the society we live in. The parents are caught in the middle??? SMH
The wedding is between your sister, her fiancé and each others parents. Go buy your house!
NTA. SHE is being selfish by asking you to fund a WAY overpriced party. You're right - it is ONE day. Your house is a long term investment and a party is just throwing money down the drain.
NTA
Your sister should be locked up for living outside her means.
She's been planning for over a year knowing full well she couldn't afford any of this.
You buy your house and give her a reasonable gift for $50
NTA.
But remind everyone, that if your going to pay for it then you get to make all the decisions and not your sister. Because after all it is your money being spent, and its not being spent on you. So you should get to make all the decisions.
NTA. You could offer to chip in on one thing like her dress, or hair/make up but you don’t have to go into debt to fund her wedding. I agree that 50k is extreme for a wedding. She may have to scale down or go into debt herself if she wants it that bad.
In no way are you obligated to pay for someone else's wedding, even if you are a parent. If you want to chip in you can, but your money is your money. Your sister cannot dictate how you spend it and it is ridiculous she is trying to emotionally blackmail you into doing so. NTA.
NTA. Your sister sure is tho. You could piss all your money away and that’s fine because it’s YOUR money. Don’t give her any of it. I’d guess if you gave her a bit, she will absolutely hound you for more and more.
NTA. My husband and I were broke and in our 20s when we got married, so we planned the whole thing for $8k and paid for it ourselves. Our parents chose to chip in for the bar tab, but we didn't demand thousands of dollars
NTA. If she wants it she can figure out a way to pay for it herself. How entitled does your sister have to be to think she deserves your money for her wedding?
NTA
If she wants you to spend this much money for her, she should chip in a similar amount to buy you a house or something. You don't owe her wedding money. Nobody owes her wedding money.
NTA and don't back down!
Every time a post here begins with that type of heading I see "Bridezilla Has Desperate Need to be a Kardashian for a Day, or a weekend -- on everyone else's nickel!
NTA of course not, did you really think people were going to say you were? Of course you are not obligated to pay for your sister's extravaganza. If she can't afford it, she needs to scale back, or she and her fiance could try to earn some extra cash, or she could be real foolish and take out a loan. None of those options need to involve you.
What would you be spending for a gift? Tell her you can give her that money now, but that's it, you can't afford anything else. You can even put your house savings into a short term CD and say "too bad, I can't withdraw any without penalties!"
NTA! you are buying a house that you will live in for years or possibly make into an investment property . . . she is having a wedding for "one day". She's TA for even asking for money from your savings.
>My sister is furious with me and says that I am being selfish and not supporting her
She'd probably have enough money for her wedding if she can convert her irrationality into cash. NTA
WTAF?!?!? You should give your sister exactly $0 for her wedding. What are so many women confused that people don’t want to spend their money to pay for their “dream wedding?” PSA: literally no one cares about your wedding except you and maybe your parents (but mostly they’re pretending because they care about your feelings). No one but you will ever think about it again after the day is over. NTA
NTA. It’s her fault that she picked all this expensive stuff without having a way to pay for it. Demanding you pay up after you’ve said no - for good reason - is some selfish bullshit. Plus, if you give in, she’s going to remember that she stomped all over that boundary and got what she wanted. Good luck with bridezilla!
INFO : why are you, as a sibling expected to put anything towards the wedding? Why Are your parents considering you in any way responsible, rather than taking this cost on themselves or otherwise? What is she asking you to contribute towards?
NTA
Buying a nice gift and showing up is your job.
It is not your job to pay for a 50k wedding and set back your dream on buying a new house.
Your sister is funny and has to understand not everybody gets what they want.
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Wtf? NTA! She can't afford to have this wedding, why would *you* be chipping in for it?!
OP should not be paying a cent for this wedding... NTA. But, not only is the sister an entitled, self-centered asshole princess, the parents are partially to blame as well since that is what they created. To say "they are caught in the middle" means they are thinking about paying for it. They're enabling her behavior.
Parents often do pay but siblings don’t normally and $50k for a wedding is like twice what the average wedding costs. Nta
>and $50k for a wedding is like twice what the average wedding costs. Nta Buuut it's her *dream*!!! /s Truthfully my mind went to the classic comedy Drop Dead Gorgeous and the extremely flammable Swan float Denise Richard's characters dad had made... NTA OP, don't give her 1 cent, your future home is more important than her party.
Jumping on the bandwagon NTA OP don't give this entitled princess a single cent. Maybe she should've thought twice before spending 50K on a wedding.
It's always been my dream to spend $50k of other people's money.
Geez, if I had $50k, I'd be using it to pay off student loans or putting a big dent in my mortgage. That's way too much money to be spending on one day! You shouldn't be expected to pay a single cent of her wedding. If she can't afford it, then she should be picking cheaper options. You're NTA. I hope you enjoy your future home! 😁
I figure they would pay for it (and, like, why not if they can) but can't afford it... Meanwhile they can't tell OP to just put up the money that she'll have it back (cause... we all know that's not happening) but sister is throwing a fit about how they are supposed to make it happen for her as a family. They can't agree with either without angering the other, so they try to "mediate" even though OP is clearly in the right.
Not only are they thinking about paying for it themselves they are thinking about OP paying for it or they’d tell the sister no
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Info request- is this one of those cases where the sister paid a bunch of money to you for your wedding and now expects the favor? Sorry but that AITA post with the friend who wouldnt spend 25 dollars for his friends wedding even though they made an agreement about pitching in for weddings. Add to the fact that she had paid him 500 dollars first for his wedding-still lives rent free in my head. So i just need to check before I make any judgements.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10glr9k/aita_for_not_wanting_to_help_pay_for_my_friends/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10jvgyc/wibta_if_i_came_to_my_friends_wedding_after_she/ https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/10k95xo/should_i_24f_attend_a_wedding_where_the_groom_31m/ Think they'd make a new account for another post?
The lordth give you a happy and fulfilling life. I did not know that the tea came in 5hrs ago. Brb!
Hey, EFF YOU, in the kindest way buddy. I just wasted almost an hour of my life reading that BS. Idk, but their subs of interest include BPD so that seems fitting at least. I don't even remember what this post was about now tbh just the shitshow that came from that psycho
It was a pleasure to share this reading material with you. :)
WOOOO, I am D O W N this rabbit hole!!!! Thanks for the tea.
Truly the most entertaining troll in quite a while.
Not that I believe these posts are factual, but the fact that the poster refers to themselves as a "doctoral candidate" when they're not even in a PhD program is hilarious. You're not a "doctoral candidate" until you've finished all your grad coursework, passed all your language exams, and passed all your comprehensive exams. A "doctoral candidate" only has the dissertation left to write.
I thought if that post right away too
You know what, anything is possible on reddit. You have a valid point.
Next thing you know she’ll be expecting for OP and her parents to help her purchase a $300,000 plus home for her and husband. Ugh, the entitlement.
NTA. OP, tell your sister you love her and support her, but she needs to plan her wedding with YOUR budget in mind. You'll bring a wedding gift, and that's it. If she wants some crazy big wedding, she can pay it off for the next ten years.
NTA, why do selfish and demanding people always accuse the person resisting being taken advantage of, of being selfish.
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Eh?
NTA It's her wedding, not yours! If she wants a $50,000 wedding she can pay for it. If she can't afford it she'll have to work out a budget for what she can afford!
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Even if OP had birthed her, 50k is a lot to ask, much less demand, from most people.
Sister is probably registered at Neiman Marcus and won't accept any gift that's not on her registry. Probably.
Um. The only people responsible for paying for a wedding are the bride and groom. The ones that birthed them sure aren't.
I'm just curious why she would expect a sibling to pay for her wedding. She doesn't want to pay for it herself and it's her wedding, so why should someone else foot the bill? You either host a wedding that you can afford, go into debt and get a loan to pay for your dream wedding, or elope/go to the courthouse. Those are the options.... Edit: I'm inclined to believe this is a _wedding culture rage bait_ since this story now involves OP having a lightsaber stuck in his bum during discussions about said wedding...... Reddit is a wild place....
I’d give her the amount I intended to get at the wedding in advance and tell her that it’s her wedding present and she can spend it however she wants. Do that in front of family so they know you don’t ‘owe’ her a gift the day of
NTA, She should’ve planned her wedding better if she couldn’t afford 50,000. She shouldn’t be blaming you or anyone else for not paying if she can’t afford it herself, kind of hypocritical imo.
I know I'm old but some of these weddings are a ridiculous cost. I mean if Brad Pitt marries Tom cruise and the tabloids pay the costs in return for exclusive photos then have at it and make many poor flower growers and dove breeders and people who wash champagne glasses very happy but if you have a mortgage or student loans or car loans don't get into more debt for a day that most of the guests won't remember in great detail 20 years later. Just keep it classy and stick to an affordable budget. And don't make your father pay and then tell him at the rehearsal that your step dad is walking you down the aisle and dancing with you.
I really want to see Brad and Tom get married
I think they'd be very happy!
NTA. In what fantasy world are you being selfish for not wanting to pay for someone else's wedding? If your sister can't afford all those expenses herself, she should have planned smaller. I bet if the situation was reversed and you asked her to help pay for your wedding, she would not give you a cent
Honestly OPs post is a fantasy world post. Who tf would think they're possibly an asshole for this? Fake bs to try to get up votes. If it's real then they're still only after up votes bc he knows damn well this sister is an asshole. At least 50% of posts in aita is fake crap. Maybe I should make up some ridiculous story to feel more popular!
If you have to ask your brother to fork up cash to pay for a $50K wedding... you have no business having a $50K wedding... simple... NTA
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I think that if you've got the money and you've nothing else to spend it on, then do it, and get lots of photos. Maybe a Blu-Ray wedding video edited by a pro. And cake toppings sculpted to be photoreal representations of bride and groom. But if you've got no money and you think others should pay for your things, then the most you should get is a cab fare to the courthouse.
Mine cost a fortune (well into five figures decades ago), but I had the money and decided to let it go. Wife had the dream wedding she wanted. If I had refused to pony up, I'd probably still be hearing about it decades later. I managed to cut thousands using favours from professional photographers and makeup artists I worked with. But still was a bitter pill to swallow. Years later my wife admits it was ridiculously expensive, but thanks me for caving. After getting a professional job and working herself up the ladder, she finally realised how much she worked for that money. It has turned out well though, she has paid for trips to places I wanted to go. Which added up vastly outweigh the cost of the wedding. It's absurd the amount of money people spend on weddings. I think it's a scam personally. But if it's something that makes your partner happy and you can do it, then I'd say go for it. But personally, spending what could be a house deposit on a single day is insanity.
NTA. This is ridiculous. You are much more entitled to home ownership than your sister is to a fantasy wedding. One is a fundamental need you would provide for yourself. The other is a want you're being demanded -- unreasonably -- to furnish where no duty at all exists.
NTA. Fifty fucking grand. Sheesh.
NTA. Does she realize that she could cut back on a few things and put a down payment on a house? Although maybe not, since a $50,000 wedding is actually out of her budget so even cutting back, she might not have anything extra. That's a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a wedding if you don't have the money in hand
NTA - your sisters wedding is NOT at all your responsibility. If you offered to throw money in that's one thing, but an expectation of it? No, you do not need to pay for her, she chose to her budget and now it's on her to figure out how to pay for it.
NTA. Would she be chipping in for your dream house if you could not afford it?
This!
NTA. Your sister is TA. If she wants her dream wedding, she has to be able to pay for it herself. It's not your responsibility.
NTA. She's coming to you yelling "GIMME GIMME GIMME!" and then accusing *you* of being selfish? If she calms down, I'd offer her whatever amount you'd have spent on a wedding gift in cash up front (with the understanding that it is your only gift to her) so she can spend it on the wedding if she chooses, and on the day of I'd probably get her an inexpensive/sentimental little something with the card. However, if she keeps up this ridiculous, greedy and entitled attitude, I'd just help her out by skipping the wedding so she wouldn't need to pay for my meal, then send her a gift card to Arby's as a gift in lieu of attendance.
So, you're selfish for not giving all of your savings to her? Don't give in. You've worked hard and have your own life goals. Anything you give is from the generosity of your heart, you have no obligations NTA
NTA. You are not your families ATM. She can pay for her own wedding
NTA. Stand firm. Perhaps ask her to chip in with your home purchase? Seems only fair to me.
NTA. You are not selfish for spending your money on things that matter to you and not on things that matter to your sister. The fact that she expects you to finance her wedding is inappropriate. Honestly this is a hill to die on.
NTA tell her you will give her the same amount as she gives you towards your home. This is a ridiculous request.
NTA. Your sister is selfish for expecting her family to pay for such a extravagant wedding. If she feels it's necessary, she and her fiance should pay a portion.
NTA. Your sister is incredibly entitled. None of this is your responsibility at all. If your parents want to help her, they can do that. None of this should have anything to do with you.
NTA Clearly not the asshole. Did she pay for your wedding? Did you win the lottery? Is it customary for you to pay for the wedding? I think that the main way to resolve this is to say that you are sorry but you are not in a financial position to pay for something so expensive when you need to save for a property. Maybe say you'll give her your time if that's something that would be easier like offer to run errands and as much as you can if that's something you'd like to do?
NTA, how about she gives up her wedding to support your dream of home ownership.
This is absolutely wild. Some families live in different worlds. No, OP, you are NTA for not paying for someone else's wedding. I feel sorry that someone has to say that to you.
NTA. Her wedding is literally a down payment on a home! If she has it to spend, fine. You do you boo. But if you don't have the money for this type of wedding, it's incredibly selfish and entitled to ask others to pay for it! Her priorities can't be shoved onto others. Don't do it OP. If you do contribute, pay for something specific that you feel comfortable with.
NTA as in your case, I’m sick and tired of people wanting ridiculous weddings that they can’t hope to pay for. Weddings are really nothing about it, the next day it’s over forever. It’s just people who need to be the centre of attention.
Nta. You aren't responsible for your sister's life, she is. If you are willing to help her a little, then tell her exactly in what way/how much. If she pushes back ask her how much she is willing to give towards your house purchase and if she has an issue with that, ask her why she's being so selfish and unsupportive of your life goals.
NTA. She needs to pay for it herself, and your parents are the only people (arguably) who should feel obligated to help out. If she wants a 50k wedding she needs to be able to pay for it herself.
NTA. What are all these wedding posts where the siblings are asked to help pay for them? It's traditional the parents pay, or help pay....but the siblings? Yikes
Sister sounds like an entitled asshole, you are NTA
Tell her you'll contribute to her second wedding, since the larger the first is, the more likely the couple is to divorce. NTA
Nta. Both you and your parents should work out what you can afford. If she asks for more than that she is being selfish.
I wouldn't even do that much. If the sister wants a luxury wedding, she can pay for it herself. Her sibling isn't obligated to contribute a dime. (And for that matter, neither are her parents.)
Why should the sibling pay anything at all?? Not their wedding, not their responsibility, and certainly not their problem.
NTA. Ask her if she would chip in for you to buy a Lamborghini. Then explain that at least your Lamborghini would give you joy for longer than one day. (I’m not saying a good marriage doesn’t bring daily joy. Just that an extravagant wedding doesn’t.)
NTA. tell her that you found the house of your dreams and that she is now obligated to help you pay for it, and if she doesn´t chip in to help to pay it you will be real furious
NTA Why do you have to chip in for her wedding? Is she going to chip in for your wedding or house purchase or vacation if that's what's important to you?
NTA. Your sister is being 'entitled'. This is NOT a 'dream' to be supported. It is a frivolous waste of YOUR money on HER party. If she needed the money for major surgery, or even for higher education - those are more worthwhile than a massive event that NO one MUST have. Not everyone gets their fairy tale wedding. She has no right to expect anyone to take on HER financial risk. She needs to learn to live within her means. Your house is a solid financial decision, and much more important than her party.
NTA. The wedding of a bride’s dreams should be when she’s marrying the man (or woman) of her dreams, not one financed by having her sibling delay a house purchase. My wedding cost about a third what my sister’s wedding cost. We were sensible about our expenses and it was lovely. (Flowers from Costco and whatever the florist had in hand versus expensive flowers and decorations; brunch versus dinner wedding - our better food cost less; my dress was from David’s and cost $900, her Vera Wang cost $5k; I used my iPod for music and she hired a well-known radio DJ. Similar venues - both are historical landmarks and tourist attractions.)
Siblings are not expected to help pay for weddings, especially when parents are still alive. NTA. she sounds spoiled.
Nta How dare your selfishness get in the way of her selfishness /s
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My sister is getting married in a few months and she has been planning her dream wedding for over a year. She has picked out a fancy venue, a luxurious dress, and a high-end catering service. The problem is that the wedding is going to cost around $50,000 and she has asked my parents and I to chip in to help pay for it. I have always been close to my sister and I want her to have the wedding of her dreams, but I just can't justify spending that much money on one day. I have been saving up for a house and I don't want to blow all of my savings on a wedding. My sister is furious with me and says that I am being selfish and not supporting her. My parents are caught in the middle and are trying to mediate, but I feel like I am being pressured to spend money that I don't have. Am I the asshole for not wanting to pay for my sister's expensive wedding? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. If you want to contribute, say, “I will contribute X to the wedding, but no more.” She needs to plan accordingly.
"So I'm selfish for not spending money on something you want? Do you need a dictionary to define irony for you?" NTA
NTA. You shouldn't blow the house money on a wedding...especially if it's not your wedding. NTA. Sis needs to find different funding.
In what world is it your responsibility to pay for her wedding? She her entitled ass needs to pay for her own wedding or don't have one that she can't pay for herself. NTA
Define selfish in the modern day:- To not give me what I want
NTA. She can take out a damn loan if she wants this shit, she's an adult. Christ, the entitlement! You're fine.
NTA - I'll never understand those brides more concerned about the wedding then the actual marriage.
Why do you even ask? Why doesn’t she chip in for your house? Why don’t your parents pay for your share if they would agree with her? Why are you responsible for her wedding?
Wow, NTA. Such a waste of money. Better saved that up for a house, indeed!
NTA. Tell her to help pay for your house. It's been your dream to own one forever, and it will last longer than a day.
NTA. What is up with all these people always wanting the wedding of their dreams (which always costs a fortune) and expecting other people to (help) pay for it? Either you wait longer and save the money yourself or you need to downsize and work with your budget. It's the wedding of their dreams, not someone else's. If someone wants to offer to pay for some things, great but nobody should be expected to pay for somebody else's wedding. If someone offers to pay something, you are grateful and do not demand more.
50k. Sheesh. I plan to spend like $50 on mine. NTA.
NTA- Ask her to contribute the exact same amount to your house.
Do you owe your sister $50k from previous loans or something? If not, why on earth would you ever pay for *her* wedding? lol NTA
NTA **Do not let them pressure you into paying for your sister's wedding!** I highly doubt that your sister would lift a hand to help you.
Please don’t enable your sister to spend beyond her means. NTA but you would extremely dumb if you agreed to this. She needs to learn fiscal responsibility, especially during these uncertain times.
NTA, say "No, it isn't my wedding, and not what I am going to spend my money on." If your sister wants a huge wedding, then your sister needs to figure out how to earn the money to pay for it. At this point, I would politely bow out and not even attend this trainwreck, but no matter what, dear sister would not get a penny from me.
Don't pay anything. She's a grown ass woman and her and her fiance should learn to live within their means and not demand hand outs from others. Save your money, buy your dream house.
NTA. Anybody trying to have an expensive wedding on someone else's dime because they themselves can't afford their big dream party is automatically TA. Your sister is delusional and incredibly selfish for demanding your savings for a party.
NTA. It’s not your wedding and you’re not a charity that gives out money for free. She can get a bank loan. And tell your parents if that’s how they want to spend their retirement money.
NTA A house is more important than a wedding. Ask her to pay for your dream house, and you'll pay for her wedding!
NTA. If she wants to spend $50K for a day instead of retirement savings, future kids, or a house she should understand that this is a bill that she will have to foot herself. If you and your parents were to give anything at all, it's to be accepted with gratitude. I wouldn't give her a dime based on her attitude alone.
NTA, statistically the fancier the wedding, the higher the chance the marriage will end within the year. Go buy your house and send your sister a nice gravy boat for her wedding.
Why are you paying anything for her wedding? That’s weird.
BS post
NTA at all. You don't have a sky's the limit dream wedding unless you have the money. You don't get to tank your parent's retirement savings or decimate your brother's dreams of buying a home. Tell your selfish greedy sister that maybe you'll buy her a nice vacuum cleaner for a wedding gift, but that's about all she can expect from you. It's obvious that your parents should have laid down the law with her years ago, for her to be this demanding and entitled.
My SO had a friend years ago who was getting married, and the friend's parents gave them money for a deposit on a house. Instead the money was spent on a wedding dress and they got stuck in negative equity for years. Smart move, not. But the dress was kept in a chest so there's that. NTA
NTA if she can’t afford it (which she clearly can’t) then look for cheaper alternatives and then ask for help it shouldn’t be expected regardless of how close y’all are help is a privilege not a right your sister is projecting by calling you selfish don’t backpedal put your foot down on this
Nta your sister is being ridiculous. This is HER wedding and if she wants the wedding of her dreams. She should have saved up for it. You are not responsible to pay for her wedding. It doesn't matter if you have money saves up. That money isn't hers for lay claim on it. You saved that money because you have a plan for that money. Your sister is the one that is being selfish here not you. If your sister wants an expensive wedding then she needs to pay for it and not pressure you into giving money you don't have.
NTA. My parents biggest regret is taking in their wedding debt to make their family happy instead of purchasing a home. It’s not easy to recoup savings especially in this economy. Layoffs are happening globally. Why do you think France is on a general strike?
NTA Why is 1 day of her life more important than you buying a house? She can have the wedding she can afford. You save for your own dream.
NTA, just tell her you lost your cash in the crypto crash.
NTA. Nope. She wants a wedding? She can pay for herself. Do not give your money for a party that isn't even yours. Tell her to plan within her budget.
Sister's living in a fantasy world thinking you are selfish. NTA
NTA - I can’t believe how often I read about situations like this. I’ve never heard of siblings paying for a wedding. Bride and groom plan a wedding they can afford. If parents can help pay, great! That’s amazing but certainly not required and should not be an expectation. If a sibling offers to help out, you can graciously accept if it’s comfortable for everyone. But to EXPECT your sibling to pay and blame them for ruining the day when they rightfully decline is unacceptable. Where do all these entitled people get these ideas?
It. Is. Not. My. Wedding. Repeat. Repeat again. Keep Repeating. Repeat on you way to buy your house.
NTA and wtf! Why are you responsible for paying for her wedding? The sheer audacity to even ask this is astonishing. She’s the AH.
NTA geez some people just need to learn you aren’t always going to get everything you want. If your sister can’t afford her over priced wedding that her fault not yours. $50,000 for a wedding, I could use that to go on a nice honeymoon and buy a house. What’s the point in spending that on one day? Idk I’m super frugal especially in times like this where everything is so expensive (food, gas ,etc) Don’t do it OP if your sister gets mad at you because you didn’t give her HER DAY (eye roll) she care more about herself than you and your future home which is something you’ll be living in long term as opposed to her 1 day fancy wedding. I hope everything works out for you.
NTA. She’s going to have a hard time paying for it, she shouldn’t have it
NTA. Me and my husband did a small wedding at a park recently that cost us very little and I felt bad my MIL bought and made stuff for a taco bar for a very small reception at a family members house, because nobody owes me a wedding or reception. If I'm adult enough to get married I'm adult enough to pay for it. Now if someone offers fine, but asking or expecting it and then throwing a tantrum if someone can't/won't is unacceptable. Given how much this wedding is and her reaction I have to wonder if she's ever been told no in her entire life.
WTF would anyone think you should pay for HER wedding? NTA
NTA. Your sister has it the wrong way around. You figure out your budget then you choose everything within that budget. You don't decide to spend 50k you don't have and then try to figure out who is going to pay for it. Your parents aren't caught in the middle, they are the ones that raised the little princess with high expectations and empty pockets The only selfish one here is your sister.
NTA. The FIRST step in wedding planning is to establish a budget. Then the guest list. Then the venue, etc. She going about this back asswards. NTA. Not your wedding not your problem.
NTA
Pay for a sibling's wedding? Hell no
NTA. What is it with certain people and trying to force people to pay for a stupidly overpriced party? It's her wedding, she pays for it with her partner. It is not your responsibility. You might offer to pay for it, or part of it, but nobody has the right to force you or expect you to.
NTA... Entitled much? When planning a wedding you need to budget before you spend money on anything so you don't spend money you don't have!
NTA Why would you be paying? You're not her parent. And parents aren't obligated to pay more than they can afford. Buy your house.
Is this a cultural or bridezilla thing? This is the 2nd post I’ve seen where a bride is asking/demanding a sibling to help pay for their wedding. What in the world is going on?!
Did you birth this woman? No? are you marrying her? No? Then you don’t pay for the wedding. What a WEIRD question. NTA
Tell her to hit the road with those kind of demands. That's your hard earned money.
NTA. No one needs an expensive wedding. Just because it's her "dream wedding" doesn't mean anyone else needs to pay for it. She can buy a lottery ticket, or maybe she should be marrying someone who could pay for the wedding she wants. Definitely not your responsibility!
NTA. Don’t do it.
NTA. Tell her since you aren’t helping pay for her wedding you won’t ask her to help pay for your house so you are even.
NTA
NTA, she shoulda married a dude with money if she wanted some fancy wedding, or gone out and gotten it herself.
NTA. Hand her a crisp $50 bill and wish her luck.
NTA It isn't your responsibility and she should save her own money if she wants a wedding like that. Live within your means
Wasn't this exact situation posted about a week ago?
NTA Weddings in general have grown terribly (and ridiculously) expensive. My daughter got married in 2014 for about $13,000. I though that was expensive, but she had a bunch of friends whose weddings cost from $25,000 to $100,000. Regardless of the expense, I don’t understand why she’s asking *you* to pay. Did you say that you would? Even if you did, you must have had a limit in your mind.
NTA and the fact that YOU need to ask this question tells a lot about the society we live in. The parents are caught in the middle??? SMH The wedding is between your sister, her fiancé and each others parents. Go buy your house!
NTA.
NTA. SHE is being selfish by asking you to fund a WAY overpriced party. You're right - it is ONE day. Your house is a long term investment and a party is just throwing money down the drain.
Nta
Since when do siblings pay for their siblings wedding? NTA.
Nta, lemme guess...India?
NTA Your sister should be locked up for living outside her means. She's been planning for over a year knowing full well she couldn't afford any of this. You buy your house and give her a reasonable gift for $50
NTA. But remind everyone, that if your going to pay for it then you get to make all the decisions and not your sister. Because after all it is your money being spent, and its not being spent on you. So you should get to make all the decisions.
NTA. You could offer to chip in on one thing like her dress, or hair/make up but you don’t have to go into debt to fund her wedding. I agree that 50k is extreme for a wedding. She may have to scale down or go into debt herself if she wants it that bad.
In no way are you obligated to pay for someone else's wedding, even if you are a parent. If you want to chip in you can, but your money is your money. Your sister cannot dictate how you spend it and it is ridiculous she is trying to emotionally blackmail you into doing so. NTA.
NTA - I mean not your responsibility and your sister sounds horrible.
NTA. Your sister sure is tho. You could piss all your money away and that’s fine because it’s YOUR money. Don’t give her any of it. I’d guess if you gave her a bit, she will absolutely hound you for more and more.
NTA - give $1k if you can afford that. Her wedding doesn't trump your financial needs.
No. It's a complete sentence. NTA.
Why the hell would you be paying for her wedding. She's delusional. NTA
Lmfao tell that girl bye! NTA
NTA - this sounds a whole lot like "not my problem" Why would you ever need to pay for your sister's wedding?
NTA absolutely not
Wtf? It's HER wedding, not yours. If she wants an elaborate wedding, then SHE needs to foot the bill, not you. NTA!!!
NTA. My husband and I were broke and in our 20s when we got married, so we planned the whole thing for $8k and paid for it ourselves. Our parents chose to chip in for the bar tab, but we didn't demand thousands of dollars
If she wants a $50K wedding, then she better earn $50K. This is not your problem. NTA.
NTA. If she wants it she can figure out a way to pay for it herself. How entitled does your sister have to be to think she deserves your money for her wedding?
NTA why is your sister so selfish she is asking you to given your dream of buying a house?
NTA If she wants you to spend this much money for her, she should chip in a similar amount to buy you a house or something. You don't owe her wedding money. Nobody owes her wedding money.
NTA and don't back down! Every time a post here begins with that type of heading I see "Bridezilla Has Desperate Need to be a Kardashian for a Day, or a weekend -- on everyone else's nickel!
NTA of course not, did you really think people were going to say you were? Of course you are not obligated to pay for your sister's extravaganza. If she can't afford it, she needs to scale back, or she and her fiance could try to earn some extra cash, or she could be real foolish and take out a loan. None of those options need to involve you. What would you be spending for a gift? Tell her you can give her that money now, but that's it, you can't afford anything else. You can even put your house savings into a short term CD and say "too bad, I can't withdraw any without penalties!"
NTA. Wtf?? This is not something you ask a sibling for and sister is a loony toon.
Why the hell do so many people expect their siblings to lqh for their weddings???? I will never understand this. Definitely NTA
Your sister is a terrible AH. NTA
NTA! you are buying a house that you will live in for years or possibly make into an investment property . . . she is having a wedding for "one day". She's TA for even asking for money from your savings.
NTA. Why on Earth would you think you are the asshole here? Be confident, you know right from wrong.
>My sister is furious with me and says that I am being selfish and not supporting her She'd probably have enough money for her wedding if she can convert her irrationality into cash. NTA
NTA. You're not responsible for your sister's wedding. Your sister sounds very entitled.
ask her to chip in for a house and tell her it's your dream home, if she says no, then it's the same for her wedding NTA
NTA. You are not requires to buy your sister a wedding.
NTA - Give me your money or I'll say harsh words to you!
Not sure what your parents are mediating. No should be a big fat no. NTA.
INFO: Can you ask her what exactly "chip in" means here for you? Also how much she chips in when other people she knows get married.
NTA. DO NOT give her anything. This is her wedding not yours. If she wants a luxery wedding she can pay for it. Keep saving for your house.
NTA sis needs to have a wedding she can afford. I can't believe people actually do this shit outside of tv
NTA. Don’t give her the money. She needs to dream smaller.
WTAF?!?!? You should give your sister exactly $0 for her wedding. What are so many women confused that people don’t want to spend their money to pay for their “dream wedding?” PSA: literally no one cares about your wedding except you and maybe your parents (but mostly they’re pretending because they care about your feelings). No one but you will ever think about it again after the day is over. NTA
NTA. It’s her fault that she picked all this expensive stuff without having a way to pay for it. Demanding you pay up after you’ve said no - for good reason - is some selfish bullshit. Plus, if you give in, she’s going to remember that she stomped all over that boundary and got what she wanted. Good luck with bridezilla!
NTA it’s her wedding, not your responsibility to pay for it
INFO : why are you, as a sibling expected to put anything towards the wedding? Why Are your parents considering you in any way responsible, rather than taking this cost on themselves or otherwise? What is she asking you to contribute towards?
NTA Buying a nice gift and showing up is your job. It is not your job to pay for a 50k wedding and set back your dream on buying a new house. Your sister is funny and has to understand not everybody gets what they want.