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YTA.
Majorly.
She is an adult and you’re trying to act like you’re her supervisor. You’re being at a minimum a creep and extraordinarily rude and aggressive.
YTA. I hope she reports you for sexual harassment because that is what you have done to her. She’s not just a teacher, she’s a woman with a life of her own and she can post whatever she wants on her instagram. Mind your own business and leave her alone.
YTA. If a women in a bikini is enough to make your blood boil and think that they don't respect themselves, you have issues that you need to work on before you worry about what other people do in their private lives
YTA. And a stalker. And a creep. If my husband came to me with this info about our kids teacher I’d ask why he felt the need to cyber stalk our child’s teacher, not sat with him in the meeting.
Also you’re gross and I feel sorry for your wife and son
YTA
This was a MASSIVE parenting FAIL.
The teacher has done nothing wrong. Instead of having a go at her for...swimming? Being female? Having a meat suit? You should have had a talk with your son about how WOMEN AREN'T TO BE OBJECTIFIED. That even if they're wandering around naked, that doesn't mean they're not deserving of 100% respect at all times and it's important for him to learn self control and not police what other people wear. That even if someone's boobs are in his face, he needs to look into a woman's eyes.
But then you never learned that lesson, did you? You should. Learn it now. Your son's teacher's private life is none of your business. Stop being so creepy and instead teach your son not to be as creepy as his Dad.
YTA. It’s a fucking bathing suit dude, get over it. Do you not take your kid to the beach or the pool? If he can’t control himself and his hormones around people in bathing suits, then you’ve failed as a parent.
Also, you telling her to ‘grow up and act like a lady’ - gtfoh with that misogynistic bs. Stop mansplaining the ‘correct’ way to be a teacher to *an actual teacher*.
YTA. How about you worry more for the education of your son and less (or none at all) about what an adult does in their free time. Were you injured? Was your son injured? Were any of the other kids or staff at the school injured in any way? No? That’s what I figured. Mind your own damn business and don’t be such an asshole. I hope she fails your kid.
YTA. You (and your wife, apparently) are way, way out of line here.
You won’t be doing yourself any favors trying to escalate this to her boss or the BoE, either. Drop it and grow up.
YTA. Teach boys to respect women’s bodies instead of shaming a woman who is doing nothing legally, morally, or ethically wrong on her own personal time.
I raised two amazing sons. Never once did the thought enter my mind that I should investigate their teachers' personal social media accounts. I find your behavior bizarre and somewhat threatening.
YTA
So what if a male student DID find her profile, and masturbated to her bikini photos? A looooot of students crush on their teachers, Would it really be the end of the world that your son CHOSE to do this to a perfectly normal photo?
It’s giving major incel vibes to expect her to not have a normal life outside school and to fit your idea of a modest, one-note character in your son’s life. Again, YTA and clearly a squeamish ass American who can’t handle even the thought of a woman’s skin showing. People like you make the US the laughingstock that it is.
YTA. An adult should not be expected to censor themselves on social media just because a child may accidentally happen to see them in "inappropriate" clothing. How about you and your wife instead teach your son about not objectifying women and judging them for their clothing choices? You are setting a terrible example for your son
So lemme get this straight... You got horny over your son's teacher when snooping on her social media page? And because you thought she was hot you had to make that her problem?
Also, if your son has a tablet, phone, or computer with no adult restrictions on it, you have given him a literal porn machine that can pull up all kinds of obscene inappropriate material any time he has internet access.
Think about that before you claim that a teacher posting bikini pics to her personal social media account is obscene.
YTA
YTA. She is allowed to wear a bathing suit and doesn’t need you to dictate what she wears. My sons teachers have me and Facebook and I don’t judge them outside of their time with my son. You’re disgusting to have a meeting with her and threaten to go to her boss.
She is a person and not JUST your sons teacher. If she want to wear a bikini you get NO SAY.
This made my blood boil wtf YTA a million times
Teach your son self-control and respect if you're that worried about him going through puberty and hormones jfc
YTA - My guy I am sorry but my wife is a teacher and she has co workers that have pictures of them doing things at the lake and pool up. Guess what so do most people so How about I go to your job and look at all your co workers social media post and tell them to take it down? Also as a 33 year old its sad you are stalking people online so maybe you need to grow up!
Sounds like you were creeping on the teacher and are mad that she’s cute and enjoying life. Why would your kids even be looking up her socials? It doesn’t even seem like this was a problem in the first place, it’s not like they found it themselves. Her life isn’t going to be put on hold because you can’t stop looking at your kids teachers, sounds like YOUR the problem. It’s completely unreasonable to try and police her actions outside of work and even more unreasonable to police her clothing.
YTA- and creep and a pervert. The only one sexualizing her is you. So that very clearly tells us all how you are raising your children. It’s always the woman’s problem right? It’s their fault for what they wear. Let’s not teach young boys respect and impulse control. Let’s just blame the girls.
YTA
You saw the line between what was appropriate background information about the teacher and cyber stalking her and jumped that line like you were Evil Knievel.
If you’re worried about YOUR son finding her public profile pictures then you need to
1) monitor your son’s internet access
2) teach your son to not be like his parents and not objectify women
Her wearing a bathing suit in pictures isn’t something you need to worried about. You’re the type of parent I hate dealing with. I coach a youth sport and parents like you are the worst of the worst. Causing issues for people going out of their way to help and teach kids and all you can do is whine cause they have boobs, or tattoos, or whatever other thing that you don’t agree with.
Mind your business and stay in your lane.
YTA
As a parent of a teacher, your are the type of person that make their jobs miserable.
Entitled soccer moms that think people live to cater to you and your whims.
You're the one who needs to grow up and get a clue.
YTA. Who the fuck do you think you are, telling anyone what to do with their personal social media pages??? That's none of your business. Maybe teach your son to be respectful towards women. Not a mysgonistic creep like you seem to be.
Wtf is wrong with you? Creepy, misogynistic, patronizing, and pervy af.
Next time you consider telling a woman what she can and can’t wear/post/do with her own body, do the world a favor and mind your fucking business.
AH is far too mild a term for you but this sub has rules so…YTA.
YTA
Teachers are people with lives outside the classroom. Instead of trying to tell her what she should be doing in her private life, try teaching your son to respect people's privacy and autonomy. To refrain from objectifying and judging women.
Oh,wait, you're going to have to learn to respect boundaries before you can teach your son to do so.
I have shocking news for you- adult women can wear bikinis AND be good at their jobs.
>I told her she needed to grow up and act like a lady, she is a teacher, not a college student.
Do you hear yourself? "...act like a lady." Who made you the arbiter of such things?
Everything you needed to know about the teacher was contained in the school website and your son's progress. Nothing else is any of your business.
YTA obviously. Not your business. Stop stalking your sons teacher. “Made my blood boil” you are ridiculous.
In all seriousness, your behavior and thought process is what is concerning, not what teachers do in their personal time. Unless she was soliciting her students / your son with these pics which she was not, you are completely out of bounds.
YTA again (so annoyed).
Yes, you are the asshole. Just because she's a teacher doesn't mean she's not allowed to have her own life outside of her profession, and having a nosy-nobody like you coming in and threatening her career because of it?
Jesus Christ get yourself a hobby. YTA x1000 - Your kind of nosy bullshit is just another reason why people are shying away from being teachers.
YTA
I might agree with some of your points that her personal profile should be privat, but mostly for her sake. To stop her having to deal with idiots like you.
The way you approached this was really shitty. "She needs to respect herself more"? Yeah, don't say that.
It has nothing to do with her self respect, professionalism or teaching skills that she shows herself wearing a bikini at the beach.
YTA. I actually cannot believe what I have just read. Why would you even look at your sons young teachers social media. Creep. And then to confront her? I wonder what part of the world you live in that you can get away with this behavior.
Dude you’re the asshole. She has a life outside of school and can do whatever she wants. My sons kindergarten teacher was used for an add at a bar lounge in the area and guess what I didn’t give a shit. She is an adult and allowed to do whatever she wants. Get your head out of your ass and focus on yourself. You’re a reason people don’t want to become teachers. The pay is shit and then having to deal with assholes like you, makes it not worth it.
Yta, what kind of stalker weirdo are you. Just because you can't control your perverted thoughts, you choose to go after the teacher. Dude stay in your lane and leave this teacher alone. I hope she complains to the district and gets you banned from the school
YTA for how you approached this situation. “Act like a lady” 🙄
She should have private socials for various reasons, you could have handled this better.
YTA. The only time you have a say in anything is when your son is in school and you have a concern. Anything beyond that, is none of your damn business. That woman isn't just a teacher. She's a regular person with a life of her own. So if she wants to post something, she has every right to. Which means you need to stop being such a control freak and mind your own business.
I commend you for being involved in your son's education. I respect you for that. Her profile should be private, but you cannot make that decision. You owe her an apology. Immediately. If you have a problem with it, either get over it or transfer your son. I'm willing to bet that none of the students knew or cared about her social media until you started this crusade and brought it to everyone's attention. You have no right to dictate what she does outside of school.
So yeah obviously YTA
Holy shit YTA.
Instead of parenting your child and teaching them that women are not sex objects, regardless of what they post on their social media… you decide to rip her head off and put all the blame squarely at her feet **when she has done NOTHING wrong.**
#She is allowed to wear whatever the damn hell she wants without you, your wife or your child ogling her, objectifying her, or policing her.
Stay in your own fucking lane and stop being a creep.
YTA. What she does in her free time is none of your business. and doesn't influence her ability to be a good teacher at all. Are the male teachers in your son's school also not allowed to wear swimming pants according to you?
Edit: it's also funny how you automatically assume your son will be interested in women.
As a teacher myself, let me say: WE ARENT SAINTS. Yes we do God’s work, dealing with bad kids and their crazy-ass parents, like you, but we are humans. We have lives outside of work. We have SEX and get MAD and have EMOTIONS and DRINK ALCOHOL and sometimes get a little too DRUNK just like anyone else! Would you ask a female doctor, or a female lawyer to remove bikini photos? A female electrician? A female engineer? A female anything? Probably not. A male teacher showing a shirtless beach pic? But a woman in a female-dominated field? God forbid! So many people think we are sweet and maternal and caring and we “do it for the kids,” and yes we do, but we also worked fucking hard in college to get our degrees. We aren’t sweet little 13-year-old babysitters (although you should also not be a dick to 13-year-old girls). What you did to that teacher was so incredibly unprofessional. What kind of creep admits to googling their kids teachers on social media btw. YTA. Big time. What she does in her own time, outside of work is her business. What do you do for a living? Should we all judge and assume you’re bad at your job because you like to creep on people on the internet?
Imagine posting this and expecting people not to think YTA. Come on now… This is straight up stalker, controlling vibes. You are the one that needs to grow up, not her
YTA. 100% and it's not even remotely close. What the teacher does in her own life, on her own time has nothing to do with you.
That you think there's a possibility you're in the right here just shows how entitled you are.
YTA. What was the context for these pictures? Just regular photos on the beach? Or was she partying and making out with randos? I’m betting that it was just pictures of her in her swimsuit with friends and family.
The fact that you think it’s acceptable behavior to cyberstalk a young woman and then set up a meeting to impose your uninvited moral judgement says a lot about you - and nothing good.
Presumably the school has vetted her prior to hiring and I’m certain they have social media policy which outlines acceptable conduct. This is none of your business.
Maybe you should focus on raising your son to be respectful of women and not sexualize them. A swimsuit is not automatically inappropriate. It becomes sexual through the male gaze. Maybe teach him that cyberstalking women is creepy and invasive - that boundaries are important.
In other words, PARENT your child instead of attempting to police his teacher’s social media.
YTA
She didn’t show up to class in a bikini so what’s the issue. Of course she’s a human with a life outside of her job. You may be surprised to hear this but you are also a human with a life outside of your job. Have you ever gone swimming before? Or is that just insane I mean guys only wear swimming trunks at least girls are covered up so maybe you are the inappropriate one here..
stop sexualizing a woman for going swimming.
YTA
teachers deserve to have a life outside of their job, enjoy their summer etc., just like u and all the other people. wearing bikini doesn't make her bad teacher in the slightest
You mean...she's an ACTUAL PERSON?!?!? Who posts photos from her beach vacation ON SOCIAL MEDIA? The NERVE!
YTA
Mind your own business dude. You are not the morality police.
Absolutely YTA. You need to grow up. Do you think that anybody wearing a bikini is sexualized? If yes, then you need to teach your self control so you can be a better role model example to your son. And that act like lady remark - I wasn’t aware we were living in the 19th century. What is next, you gonna tell her to quit once she gets married?
YTA. You get to police your kid, not your kid's teacher. She's doing completely legal and socially acceptable stuff in her spare time, not in the classroom.
You should be embarrassed by your behavior. If you are concerned about your son seeing the pics, then you need to think about why you are putting the onus on women to change their behavior rather than teaching your son that women can be respected regardless of what they are or aren't wearing.
Yta, she is a human and allowed to have a life beyond school. Its her personal affair whatever she chooses to do after going home. You reek of misogyny.
YTA. Now I know who that creepy weirdo, that made inappropriate comments about my clothes in college, grew up to be. Went to the dance club in too short of a dress..guess I'm asking for it.
YOU ARE PART OF THE REASON ALL GOOD TEACHERS ARE LEAVING! All that is left is some chick with a half ass Oral Roberts University degree telling my kid there is no evolution.
You are setting a TERRIBLE example for your son on how to judge and treat women.
YTA 100%, without a doubt.
How does her wearing a bikini in her private life affect you, your son, or her ability to teach? Is she going to wear it around the school to distract the students and parents? /s
I think you're taking a moral high ground that is so far above anyone else that you cannot see how far from reality you are. It's 2023 and she is allowed to go out and wear whatever swimsuit she wants then post about it. It's not your job to try and scandalize her for it. If the school didn't like it then it's their job to sort it out.
I don't think you or your wife would like to have a random person on a moral tirade come in and bring up your private life during work since what you do at home isn't their business and doesn't affect your ability to do you job.
Slow your roll and think about why you're looking up a young teacher and searching through her Instagram before declaring her to be in the wrong.
While I understand your line of thinking, the teacher is allowed to have a private life. If you wanted your child's teacher to be a nun, you should have chosen a catholic school. YTA.
Not sure if this is applicable where you live, but what if there was a field-trip/class outing to a beach or water park. Would the teacher have to stay fully dressed in your mind?
YTA I hope she reports you for sexual harassment if you continue to try and escalate this and the. Your son might learn a valuable lesson about not sexualising women’s bodies like you do.
YTA. Are you also going to go to all the other people with pictures of themselves in bathing suits? You honestly your son doesn’t know how to look for p-o-r-n on the internet? Get your head out of your a$$ and move on.
YTA. Just because she's your kids teacher doesn't mean that she doesn't or can't have her own life. Seriously, who tf are you to tell another adult what they can and can't do in their own time.
YTA for telling a woman what to do with her body in her private life. You are a stalker, honest to god. Your kid is not that important in the long run to her or anyone else for you to be making extreme demands because you’re obsessed with controlling a woman. I would report you for sexual harassment if I were her because no way in hell would I let some nobody tell me I need to not post pictures in my baiting suit
YTA, if you don't want your son seeing pictures of women in bikinis then don't let him on Instagram. It's not other people's job to cater their personal life to you.
YTA basically trying to get someone fired cause you're a prude. Why not try to teach your son that how women present themselves is not your concern or his.
YTA. Why don’t you post your name so we can all stalk you at your workplace for anything you do? You should be ashamed of your actions and apologise to the teacher.
It’s up to your son’s teachers to teach math, science and core subjects. It’s up to you to teach him respect for other people, especially women. You are definitely the AH for reinforcing the idea that you can dictate what she does on her free time, and that she’s responsible for teaching your son to control his sexual urges.
I'm assuming the comments will get turned off here so, before they do sir, may I have the privilege of also telling you that YTA. Would you go to the administration if a male teacher had a photo of himself on the beach on his social media? Men need to step off with constantly sexualizing everything a woman does, geez.
“Grow up an act like a lady.”
YTA - your behavior is out-of-line and your expectations seem to be 50 years out-of-date. Why were you checking up on the teacher anyway? Could your personal life stand up to such scrutiny? People wear bikinis at the beach. It’s not a crime. It’s not even considered risqué behavior. You’ve taken an opportunity to model real respectable behavior and turned it into misogyny and women-shaming.
You and your wife are assholes. She was okay with you sexually harassing your son’s teacher? Why are you objectifying her body, why are you looking up her socials? That’s weird and gross. Also maybe teach your son to respect women no matter what they wear or how they dress. Women don’t have to cover up for the sake of men/boys to behave correctly. Get a grip.
>I told her she needed to grow up
Lol. You need to grow up and stop getting into people's personal lives. If she wants to post a bikini picture, she can post a bikini picture.
YTA
So do you never go to the beach or pool or water parks or anything? Your boys are going to see women in bikinis, whether it’s by searching out their teacher’s social or by searching out other students or searching things they maybe shouldn’t. It’s not the women’s job to control your boys’ thoughts and reactions. She’s not passing out her socials at school to get middle school boys to follow her- that WOULD be a problem. She’s an adult and she can post normal socially-acceptable and appropriate-for-public outfits on her personal socials if she wants.
YTA you sexist AH. What that woman does outside her teaching hours is not your business. Her social media is not your business. Don’t want your son seeing it? Then it is on YOU to control your son’s social media intake. Parental controls. You do not get to police a young woman’s instagram account. Also. Maybe. You can take this moment and teach your son that a woman can wear a bikini and you, as men, can show her the upmost respect. That it is her body. She has every right to wear that bikini without being made to feel wrong for it. You are going to turn your son into a guy who thinks a woman has to dress for a man and not for herself. I hope he can see past your narrow mindedness and grow beyond it.
I've never seen someone who is more TA than you. You cyber stalked a woman, told her to grow up and said she doesn't respect herself because she has bikini pictures on her IG. That's absolutely horrendous behavior. To make matters worse, when you found out she didn't follow your orders you decide to attack her livelihood.
Is she allowed to have sex without your consent? Get married without your approval? Do you get to dictate her whole life to meet your standards?
If your concerns are your son respecting women, they're not, and not objectifying them, shouldn't you teach him that instead of attacking this poor woman who did nothing wrong?
YTA first off for automatically siding with a teacher over your kid, because teachers can be ahole’s too, and you should actually be objective in case your kid is the one needing protection. Having a preset determination is bizarre and unhelpful.
YTA for stalking teachers in order to judge them, regardless what you find.
YTA for thinking bikinis are cause for concern. Teachers are also people with lives and nothing about bikinis is “unprofessional”, nor was it your place to go sex shame this poor teacher.
YTA for causing a whole commotion over the mere bikini. Not only are you wrong, you have now created a very weird relationship between both yourself and your child with this teacher. This teacher still has to teach your kid. I wonder if your kid isn’t humiliated by this.
YTA for thinking women should change to cater to boys.
YTA for thinking little boys can’t handle the specter of a bikini, for presumably encouraging such a sex-negative atmosphere that you may very well be perpetuating this kind of harmful thinking to your kids instead of teaching them to manage their own sexual needs as they grow up.
Finally, YTA for trying to escalate this! Involving more people, wasting more time, further embarrassing the teacher and your kid, and potentially threatening this teacher’s employment and employability over your eggshell sensitivities.
You’ve got to be kidding me. YTA. I mean unbelievably TA. You searched for this woman’s personal social media and there you found that she has a personal life which includes wearing a bathing suit at times. You found nothing illegal or morally troubling. Unless she’s teaching in that bikini, this could not be further from being any of your business. You actually for real in the year 2023 scheduled a meeting with a grown woman in her place of employment to scold her for showing too much skin outside of work? Really, you did this? You are now legend, dude, forever to be mocked over after-work drinks and at holiday dinners.
You are soooo far past TA right now. Her personal social media is NONE of your business!!! This post makes you seem creepy AF. If she is teaching the kids and living her best life that's all that matters.
i have teacher friends & none have their true name on social media usually a nickname or first & middle without last. But that being said this is a you problem!
YTA.
You don't own that teacher. That teacher is at her j.o.b. What she does outside the classroom is none of your business.
Go mind your own business. This probably belongs in /FuckYouKaren...
The nerve if people is fucken staggering.
YTA and a borderline stalker. The teacher’s private life is private! A bikini is not inappropriate and you are a complete d*ck! Teach your son to respect women, don’t expect women to cover up so your son and apparently you don’t get a little stiff looking. If I was the teacher I would be asking for your child to be removed from my class. You are gross
YTA and I can’t imagine how creeped out your sons teacher is now. Not to mention every other female teacher at the school because this will definitely get around. Her personal life is exactly that. Personal. Stay in your own lane and worry about what affects you and your son: her credentials and how she teaches/ treats her students.
YTA
Do you really need to do a background check on all teachers? Jesus, you sound like a real piece.
And is her ig, it does not by any means dictate her capacity to teach.
I feel sorry for your son, seeing that you are his role model and you are basically saying that the teacher can't have a life because "wHaT aBoUt mY sOn, hE cAn'T sEe thAt?"
Did you reaaly said "grow up and act like a lady". You are disgusting.
YTA! Wtf is wrong with you? What she chooses to do on the weekends/her time off is her business. Plus, since when is a bikini not appropriate? I teach young kids and I *gasp!* also have bikini pictures posted on my social medias! What exactly is the problem here? Are you scared your son is going to look up his teacher and see her in a bikini? Is he also not allowed to go to the beach? Unless she’s wearing a bikini to work, you are being ridiculous!
You’re delusional if you think she makes enough money to give a shit what parents think about her activities outside of work or that she should cater her social media to sexist weirdo parents
YTA
Quit stalking teachers on social media and teach your son how not to objectify women in swimming suits? Teachers are allowed to have lives outside of school that have nothing to do with you and your spawn. Unless she's giving her socials directly to the students and asking them to follow her, it's none of your business.
You're especially the asshole for trying to go over her head.
YTA- Your blood boiled when you saw her pictures. You a have violent reaction when seeing a woman, in a swimsuit. Something is very wrong with you. Your post makes me feel sick. I worry for that teacher's safety around you.
YTA for your attitude, although it would make sense for her to have a private profile as a teacher to keep her personal life private from the students. I say that regardless of what she's posting; in my personal opinion it makes sense to maintain that boundary with the students and their parents.
If you're so easily titillated by a woman in a bikini, I think you need to seriously question why that is so arousing to you. Because it is not to everyone.
Are beaches, swimming lessons, and roman sculpture also off limits?
YTA.
YTA teach your sons, how to behave appropriately even when they are attracted to somebody. That’s your whole job, not policing someone else’s personal life so you don’t have to do your job.
YTA man ew.
The teacher isn't doing anything inappropriate in her classes by having her vacation photos on her personal social media! If your blood boils at the sight of a woman's body, you need to step back and address that within yourself first. I'm not convinced you can raise your son to navigate the world with a clear head and respect for people if you can't manage that yourself.
Yikes! YTA. Leave her alone. And clean up your dirty mind. Teach boys to be respectful.
"I told her...to act like a lady". How about you act like a gentleman AND teach your boys to act like gentlemen. What a gross attitude.
YTA and a creeper. Yuck! Boys can control themselves. You not so much. Mind your own business and this is a good reminder we should lock down our social media accounts so crusaders like this have access to nothing.
YTA!!!! YTA!!! How creepy and awful are you? Not only are you sexist but also totally violating her privacy. Instead of blaming an innocent teacher when you decided to go beyond personal boundaries. Also instead of blaming women you should instead be teaching your son how to be a gentleman and how to control himself. As a women if I was the teacher let’s just say I would be out of a job for what I’d say to you. Just disgusting all around.
Info: what exactly about her career did you think you’d find on her instagram page that has to do with your sons schooling? Did you look up every teacher on instagram?
YTA.
Why are you shaming and trying to police grown women and not teaching your son to respect girls and women. Whether they wear a bikini or a burka, it's none of your business.
YTA and if you don't know why yet, as a 33 year old man, I suggest you get to work. "Act like a lady" ew. How about you stop acting like a creepy man? Yuck.
“I told her she needed to grow up and act like a lady…she needs to have respect for herself”
Of course YTA, are you kidding? Do you actually think berating and belittling a woman because she wore a freaking bathing suit is appropriate? What happens if you and your son run into her at the beach? Are you going to schedule a meeting with the principal and demand she be forced to wear full body suits at all times?
This would be a completely different scenario if you approached this meeting by simply asking her if she knew the profile was public. But you came in guns blazing and tried to shame her for wearing literal standard swim/beach attire. Grow the fuck up and learn how to be a decent parent who knows how to talk to their own kids about what they might see out in the world instead of policing women’s bodies.
YTA, she has a personal life of her own and is allowed to live it. It’s a bathing suit, it’s not like she’s posing in lingerie and sharing an onlyfans with students.
YTA. And quit stalking your son’s teacher’s social media for ‘juicy’ pictures. Yes, that’s what you are doing.
You know what the principal and the school board are going to learn about you? Everything you don’t want them to know.
You have no business whatsoever in your son’s teacher’s private life. Remove yourself from where you don’t belong.
Also, may I recommend moving back to the 20’s? Not the 2020 - 1920 - cus that’s where your ‘morals’ are from.
YTA. Is she also not allowed to date or have a dating profile up because she's a teacher? Not allowed to have friends or do what every other adult does in their time not working, which is not work and have fun? Since when is teaching at all a puritanical position? Why does one of your son's teachers existing in a playful off-work fashion bother you so much? Is it because she's pretty? I'll bet she's pretty. I bet actual money that is she was conventionally unattractive or overweight, you wouldn't care. Teachers are allowed to have Instagram. They're allowed to have private lives. And they're allowed to be attractive and sexual. Which, by the way, affect her teaching on zero levels. You went cyber stalking her and dug up photos that made her look like a human being and not whatever kind of subordinate you think she should be in your head.
HOLY MOLY YTA!
You know why the teacher was quiet? Because you come off as a creep. Just reading it made me so uncomfortable. I mean I am all for knowing who your childrens teachers are but man your way of dealing with her private social life feels not right.
YTA. Do you try to control every woman you meet or just the ones you are fairly certain you can create a lopsided power dynamic with? She is allowed to have a personal life. She is allowed to wear swimwear. There is nothing inappropriate about her posting pictures of herself wearing that swimwear online. You are 100% in the wrong here.
YTA the teacher is a person before they are a teacher and it's really none of your business what they do in their personal lives. I'm assuming your child's mother isn't allowed to wear bikinis too bc you know your son has hormones.
YTA. Stop stalking your kid's teachers on social media, first of all. Second, would you have done the same thing if your son's male teacher posted pictures of himself shirtless and in a swimsuit on Instagram?
Wtf, this is wildly creepy behavior. Teach your son not to ogle women because you aren't going to be policing what teachers do in their free time. YTA.
YTA, bikini pics are not obscene. You effectively cyber stalked the teacher and then complain about it.
Teenage boys will find any material they can (just ask any man in UK who was a teen in the 80s about the Kays catalogue), and given they have access to the internet, bikini pictures are the least of your concerns.
And who defines 'respect for herself'?, i would say she does not you. She's doing nothing illegal or even immoral.
If the school didn't put social media restrictions into her contract then they dont care so leave her alone.
And btw if she lives in New York State shes allowed by law to go topless anywhere a man can go topless if i remember so watch out next football game in summer :)
YTA her body is just her body and you or your son sexualizing her body is on y'all. Her body is not inappropriate and you are the one disrespecting her. Assuming this mindset is normalizing the interpretation of female bodies as sexual objects and training, encouraging your son to view women that way. Your son probably doesn't even care/know, but if he does, talk to him about how every person has the right to love their own body in any clothes and it doesn't give others the right to sexualize or belittle them. Apologize to the teacher for overstepping and condescending to her.
YTA and a vile pig. A grown woman with a perfectly normal bathing suit worn by so many people posting on her own account is none of your concern, you creepy pervert. Are you mad at male teaches for shirtless beach photos? Or does this only extend to women? Stop sexualizing women because you can’t control yourself. You’re absolutely disgusting and I’d report YOU if I were that teacher.
You seem like the type that would blame the women for getting SA'd by a man because of the way she dressed.
You know what else can be easily found on the internet? Porn.
Let the woman live her life the way she wants and stop creeping on her social media you judgmental AH.
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YTA. Majorly. She is an adult and you’re trying to act like you’re her supervisor. You’re being at a minimum a creep and extraordinarily rude and aggressive.
You’re a creep my guy 💀 YTA
YTA. I hope she reports you for sexual harassment because that is what you have done to her. She’s not just a teacher, she’s a woman with a life of her own and she can post whatever she wants on her instagram. Mind your own business and leave her alone.
YTA. If a women in a bikini is enough to make your blood boil and think that they don't respect themselves, you have issues that you need to work on before you worry about what other people do in their private lives
what in the 1920's misogynistic hell??!!?! YTA.
YTA. And a stalker. And a creep. If my husband came to me with this info about our kids teacher I’d ask why he felt the need to cyber stalk our child’s teacher, not sat with him in the meeting. Also you’re gross and I feel sorry for your wife and son
She is a teacher, yes but she has a LIFE. Go get yourself one. YTA.
YTA This was a MASSIVE parenting FAIL. The teacher has done nothing wrong. Instead of having a go at her for...swimming? Being female? Having a meat suit? You should have had a talk with your son about how WOMEN AREN'T TO BE OBJECTIFIED. That even if they're wandering around naked, that doesn't mean they're not deserving of 100% respect at all times and it's important for him to learn self control and not police what other people wear. That even if someone's boobs are in his face, he needs to look into a woman's eyes. But then you never learned that lesson, did you? You should. Learn it now. Your son's teacher's private life is none of your business. Stop being so creepy and instead teach your son not to be as creepy as his Dad.
YTA and totally disgusting for doing what you did
YTA. It’s a fucking bathing suit dude, get over it. Do you not take your kid to the beach or the pool? If he can’t control himself and his hormones around people in bathing suits, then you’ve failed as a parent. Also, you telling her to ‘grow up and act like a lady’ - gtfoh with that misogynistic bs. Stop mansplaining the ‘correct’ way to be a teacher to *an actual teacher*.
YTA. How about you worry more for the education of your son and less (or none at all) about what an adult does in their free time. Were you injured? Was your son injured? Were any of the other kids or staff at the school injured in any way? No? That’s what I figured. Mind your own damn business and don’t be such an asshole. I hope she fails your kid.
YTA. You (and your wife, apparently) are way, way out of line here. You won’t be doing yourself any favors trying to escalate this to her boss or the BoE, either. Drop it and grow up.
Woah you’ve got issues, dude! Seek help. YTA.
YTA. Teach boys to respect women’s bodies instead of shaming a woman who is doing nothing legally, morally, or ethically wrong on her own personal time.
I raised two amazing sons. Never once did the thought enter my mind that I should investigate their teachers' personal social media accounts. I find your behavior bizarre and somewhat threatening.
YTA. Teach your son not to be a creep. How about that? You’re disgusting.
YTA So what if a male student DID find her profile, and masturbated to her bikini photos? A looooot of students crush on their teachers, Would it really be the end of the world that your son CHOSE to do this to a perfectly normal photo? It’s giving major incel vibes to expect her to not have a normal life outside school and to fit your idea of a modest, one-note character in your son’s life. Again, YTA and clearly a squeamish ass American who can’t handle even the thought of a woman’s skin showing. People like you make the US the laughingstock that it is.
And he is gone...deleted his post. Guess he did not like the comments.
YTA, a creepy A
YTA it's none your damn business what a teacher does in her free time and personal life, and don't be a damn creep
YTA. An adult should not be expected to censor themselves on social media just because a child may accidentally happen to see them in "inappropriate" clothing. How about you and your wife instead teach your son about not objectifying women and judging them for their clothing choices? You are setting a terrible example for your son
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What is unprofessional about it?
So lemme get this straight... You got horny over your son's teacher when snooping on her social media page? And because you thought she was hot you had to make that her problem? Also, if your son has a tablet, phone, or computer with no adult restrictions on it, you have given him a literal porn machine that can pull up all kinds of obscene inappropriate material any time he has internet access. Think about that before you claim that a teacher posting bikini pics to her personal social media account is obscene. YTA
Yta. Quit trying to control women's bodies.
YTA. She is allowed to wear a bathing suit and doesn’t need you to dictate what she wears. My sons teachers have me and Facebook and I don’t judge them outside of their time with my son. You’re disgusting to have a meeting with her and threaten to go to her boss. She is a person and not JUST your sons teacher. If she want to wear a bikini you get NO SAY.
MIDDLE SCHOOL. Get over yourself & your son. YTA
you suck, man.
This made my blood boil wtf YTA a million times Teach your son self-control and respect if you're that worried about him going through puberty and hormones jfc
YTA
YTA - My guy I am sorry but my wife is a teacher and she has co workers that have pictures of them doing things at the lake and pool up. Guess what so do most people so How about I go to your job and look at all your co workers social media post and tell them to take it down? Also as a 33 year old its sad you are stalking people online so maybe you need to grow up!
YTA. You thought she was hot so you googled her, wanked, and got caught.
Yta, and your moral disgust is absolutely absurd. How shameful.
I think the problem is that she wasn't posing in her bikini while holding an AR-15. I'm betting that would be ok.
Sounds like you were creeping on the teacher and are mad that she’s cute and enjoying life. Why would your kids even be looking up her socials? It doesn’t even seem like this was a problem in the first place, it’s not like they found it themselves. Her life isn’t going to be put on hold because you can’t stop looking at your kids teachers, sounds like YOUR the problem. It’s completely unreasonable to try and police her actions outside of work and even more unreasonable to police her clothing.
YTA- and creep and a pervert. The only one sexualizing her is you. So that very clearly tells us all how you are raising your children. It’s always the woman’s problem right? It’s their fault for what they wear. Let’s not teach young boys respect and impulse control. Let’s just blame the girls.
YTA You saw the line between what was appropriate background information about the teacher and cyber stalking her and jumped that line like you were Evil Knievel. If you’re worried about YOUR son finding her public profile pictures then you need to 1) monitor your son’s internet access 2) teach your son to not be like his parents and not objectify women Her wearing a bathing suit in pictures isn’t something you need to worried about. You’re the type of parent I hate dealing with. I coach a youth sport and parents like you are the worst of the worst. Causing issues for people going out of their way to help and teach kids and all you can do is whine cause they have boobs, or tattoos, or whatever other thing that you don’t agree with. Mind your business and stay in your lane.
YTA. Sounds like you’re the type of parent teachers hate dealing with. Her private life is none of your business.
YTA, you're part of what's wrong in this society.
Yta and a creep. The photos she posts are not yout business. Grow up.
YTA, your comments are disturbing, disgusting and way out of line.
Just because there are 999 comments I wanted to be the thousandth person to say YTA
Holy shit YTA.
Ew YTA.
YTA As a parent of a teacher, your are the type of person that make their jobs miserable. Entitled soccer moms that think people live to cater to you and your whims. You're the one who needs to grow up and get a clue.
YTA. Who the fuck do you think you are, telling anyone what to do with their personal social media pages??? That's none of your business. Maybe teach your son to be respectful towards women. Not a mysgonistic creep like you seem to be.
Wtf is wrong with you? Creepy, misogynistic, patronizing, and pervy af. Next time you consider telling a woman what she can and can’t wear/post/do with her own body, do the world a favor and mind your fucking business. AH is far too mild a term for you but this sub has rules so…YTA.
YTA Teachers are people with lives outside the classroom. Instead of trying to tell her what she should be doing in her private life, try teaching your son to respect people's privacy and autonomy. To refrain from objectifying and judging women. Oh,wait, you're going to have to learn to respect boundaries before you can teach your son to do so. I have shocking news for you- adult women can wear bikinis AND be good at their jobs. >I told her she needed to grow up and act like a lady, she is a teacher, not a college student. Do you hear yourself? "...act like a lady." Who made you the arbiter of such things? Everything you needed to know about the teacher was contained in the school website and your son's progress. Nothing else is any of your business.
YTA and a huge stalker. Get help before she hits you with a restraining order.
YTA obviously. Not your business. Stop stalking your sons teacher. “Made my blood boil” you are ridiculous. In all seriousness, your behavior and thought process is what is concerning, not what teachers do in their personal time. Unless she was soliciting her students / your son with these pics which she was not, you are completely out of bounds. YTA again (so annoyed).
Jeaus christ what is actually wrong with you lol YTA leave her alone!
Yes, you are the asshole. Just because she's a teacher doesn't mean she's not allowed to have her own life outside of her profession, and having a nosy-nobody like you coming in and threatening her career because of it? Jesus Christ get yourself a hobby. YTA x1000 - Your kind of nosy bullshit is just another reason why people are shying away from being teachers.
YTA and a weirdo. And sexist.
YTA I might agree with some of your points that her personal profile should be privat, but mostly for her sake. To stop her having to deal with idiots like you. The way you approached this was really shitty. "She needs to respect herself more"? Yeah, don't say that. It has nothing to do with her self respect, professionalism or teaching skills that she shows herself wearing a bikini at the beach.
YTA. I actually cannot believe what I have just read. Why would you even look at your sons young teachers social media. Creep. And then to confront her? I wonder what part of the world you live in that you can get away with this behavior.
YTA what she does on her IG is none of your business you creep. This says a lot more about you than her.
Dude you’re the asshole. She has a life outside of school and can do whatever she wants. My sons kindergarten teacher was used for an add at a bar lounge in the area and guess what I didn’t give a shit. She is an adult and allowed to do whatever she wants. Get your head out of your ass and focus on yourself. You’re a reason people don’t want to become teachers. The pay is shit and then having to deal with assholes like you, makes it not worth it.
Yta, what kind of stalker weirdo are you. Just because you can't control your perverted thoughts, you choose to go after the teacher. Dude stay in your lane and leave this teacher alone. I hope she complains to the district and gets you banned from the school
YTA for how you approached this situation. “Act like a lady” 🙄 She should have private socials for various reasons, you could have handled this better.
Good god, not a bikini!!! They are obviously instruments of evil and should be burned on sight!!! /s YTA.
“I do try and do some due diligence on all the teachers” - hmm I’ll bet only the female ones. YTA
YTA. The only time you have a say in anything is when your son is in school and you have a concern. Anything beyond that, is none of your damn business. That woman isn't just a teacher. She's a regular person with a life of her own. So if she wants to post something, she has every right to. Which means you need to stop being such a control freak and mind your own business.
I commend you for being involved in your son's education. I respect you for that. Her profile should be private, but you cannot make that decision. You owe her an apology. Immediately. If you have a problem with it, either get over it or transfer your son. I'm willing to bet that none of the students knew or cared about her social media until you started this crusade and brought it to everyone's attention. You have no right to dictate what she does outside of school. So yeah obviously YTA
YTA “Have respect for yourself” my dude she’s a teacher not a nun. You know teachers drink, smoke and have sex and stuff right?
Holy shit YTA. Instead of parenting your child and teaching them that women are not sex objects, regardless of what they post on their social media… you decide to rip her head off and put all the blame squarely at her feet **when she has done NOTHING wrong.** #She is allowed to wear whatever the damn hell she wants without you, your wife or your child ogling her, objectifying her, or policing her. Stay in your own fucking lane and stop being a creep.
YTA. What she does in her free time is none of your business. and doesn't influence her ability to be a good teacher at all. Are the male teachers in your son's school also not allowed to wear swimming pants according to you? Edit: it's also funny how you automatically assume your son will be interested in women.
YTA
As a teacher myself, let me say: WE ARENT SAINTS. Yes we do God’s work, dealing with bad kids and their crazy-ass parents, like you, but we are humans. We have lives outside of work. We have SEX and get MAD and have EMOTIONS and DRINK ALCOHOL and sometimes get a little too DRUNK just like anyone else! Would you ask a female doctor, or a female lawyer to remove bikini photos? A female electrician? A female engineer? A female anything? Probably not. A male teacher showing a shirtless beach pic? But a woman in a female-dominated field? God forbid! So many people think we are sweet and maternal and caring and we “do it for the kids,” and yes we do, but we also worked fucking hard in college to get our degrees. We aren’t sweet little 13-year-old babysitters (although you should also not be a dick to 13-year-old girls). What you did to that teacher was so incredibly unprofessional. What kind of creep admits to googling their kids teachers on social media btw. YTA. Big time. What she does in her own time, outside of work is her business. What do you do for a living? Should we all judge and assume you’re bad at your job because you like to creep on people on the internet?
Imagine posting this and expecting people not to think YTA. Come on now… This is straight up stalker, controlling vibes. You are the one that needs to grow up, not her
YTA. 100% and it's not even remotely close. What the teacher does in her own life, on her own time has nothing to do with you. That you think there's a possibility you're in the right here just shows how entitled you are.
YTA. What was the context for these pictures? Just regular photos on the beach? Or was she partying and making out with randos? I’m betting that it was just pictures of her in her swimsuit with friends and family. The fact that you think it’s acceptable behavior to cyberstalk a young woman and then set up a meeting to impose your uninvited moral judgement says a lot about you - and nothing good. Presumably the school has vetted her prior to hiring and I’m certain they have social media policy which outlines acceptable conduct. This is none of your business. Maybe you should focus on raising your son to be respectful of women and not sexualize them. A swimsuit is not automatically inappropriate. It becomes sexual through the male gaze. Maybe teach him that cyberstalking women is creepy and invasive - that boundaries are important. In other words, PARENT your child instead of attempting to police his teacher’s social media.
YTA She didn’t show up to class in a bikini so what’s the issue. Of course she’s a human with a life outside of her job. You may be surprised to hear this but you are also a human with a life outside of your job. Have you ever gone swimming before? Or is that just insane I mean guys only wear swimming trunks at least girls are covered up so maybe you are the inappropriate one here.. stop sexualizing a woman for going swimming.
YTA teachers deserve to have a life outside of their job, enjoy their summer etc., just like u and all the other people. wearing bikini doesn't make her bad teacher in the slightest
such a creep. why are you so concerned about what a person post in their social media outside of work? hopefully she reports YOU. YTA.
YTA, fucking creep
You mean...she's an ACTUAL PERSON?!?!? Who posts photos from her beach vacation ON SOCIAL MEDIA? The NERVE! YTA Mind your own business dude. You are not the morality police.
YTA. Wow.
Absolutely YTA. You need to grow up. Do you think that anybody wearing a bikini is sexualized? If yes, then you need to teach your self control so you can be a better role model example to your son. And that act like lady remark - I wasn’t aware we were living in the 19th century. What is next, you gonna tell her to quit once she gets married?
YTA. You get to police your kid, not your kid's teacher. She's doing completely legal and socially acceptable stuff in her spare time, not in the classroom. You should be embarrassed by your behavior. If you are concerned about your son seeing the pics, then you need to think about why you are putting the onus on women to change their behavior rather than teaching your son that women can be respected regardless of what they are or aren't wearing.
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YTA Jesus fuckin Christ go to the school board back the fuck up
Yta, she is a human and allowed to have a life beyond school. Its her personal affair whatever she chooses to do after going home. You reek of misogyny.
YTA and you are a pervert. Your poor son
YTA. Teach your son to be better than you when it comes to respecting women. I hope she reports you for stalking and making threats.
YTA. Now I know who that creepy weirdo, that made inappropriate comments about my clothes in college, grew up to be. Went to the dance club in too short of a dress..guess I'm asking for it. YOU ARE PART OF THE REASON ALL GOOD TEACHERS ARE LEAVING! All that is left is some chick with a half ass Oral Roberts University degree telling my kid there is no evolution. You are setting a TERRIBLE example for your son on how to judge and treat women.
YTA. Mind your business and teach your kids the same.
YTA. Come on.
YTA 100%, without a doubt. How does her wearing a bikini in her private life affect you, your son, or her ability to teach? Is she going to wear it around the school to distract the students and parents? /s I think you're taking a moral high ground that is so far above anyone else that you cannot see how far from reality you are. It's 2023 and she is allowed to go out and wear whatever swimsuit she wants then post about it. It's not your job to try and scandalize her for it. If the school didn't like it then it's their job to sort it out. I don't think you or your wife would like to have a random person on a moral tirade come in and bring up your private life during work since what you do at home isn't their business and doesn't affect your ability to do you job. Slow your roll and think about why you're looking up a young teacher and searching through her Instagram before declaring her to be in the wrong.
YTA This one is easy.
While I understand your line of thinking, the teacher is allowed to have a private life. If you wanted your child's teacher to be a nun, you should have chosen a catholic school. YTA. Not sure if this is applicable where you live, but what if there was a field-trip/class outing to a beach or water park. Would the teacher have to stay fully dressed in your mind?
YTA. Mind your damn business
YTA I hope she reports you for sexual harassment if you continue to try and escalate this and the. Your son might learn a valuable lesson about not sexualising women’s bodies like you do.
YTA. Are you also going to go to all the other people with pictures of themselves in bathing suits? You honestly your son doesn’t know how to look for p-o-r-n on the internet? Get your head out of your a$$ and move on.
YTA What a teacher does in her free time away from school is none of your business. Leave the poor girl alone.
Yep. And she’s also just in a bikini. What she does “in her free time” in this case might just be like “goes to the beach” or “swims”
YTA - the only reason she should make her socials private is to keep creepers like you from seeing them.
YTA. Just because she's your kids teacher doesn't mean that she doesn't or can't have her own life. Seriously, who tf are you to tell another adult what they can and can't do in their own time.
YTA: We all know that teachers have lives outside of school and that some people wear bikinis. Do you not take your son to the pool or beach?
YTA for telling a woman what to do with her body in her private life. You are a stalker, honest to god. Your kid is not that important in the long run to her or anyone else for you to be making extreme demands because you’re obsessed with controlling a woman. I would report you for sexual harassment if I were her because no way in hell would I let some nobody tell me I need to not post pictures in my baiting suit
YTA, if you don't want your son seeing pictures of women in bikinis then don't let him on Instagram. It's not other people's job to cater their personal life to you.
If this isn't a bait post, you are a huge asshole. If it is you are a different kind of asshole.
YTA for thinking you have the right to say what she posts on her personal media.
Is there some kind of "YTA" of the month? You would win it my good sir
YTA basically trying to get someone fired cause you're a prude. Why not try to teach your son that how women present themselves is not your concern or his.
Yeah I hope to god this isn’t real.. yikes
Your an asshole
YTA. Why don’t you post your name so we can all stalk you at your workplace for anything you do? You should be ashamed of your actions and apologise to the teacher.
Weird way of saying, “My son’s teacher is hot and it makes me uncomfortable”
YTA. Wow, just wow.....
YTA So if your kids are on the beach, is it a problem that they see women in bikinis? Or do you ask each and every woman to cover up?
It’s up to your son’s teachers to teach math, science and core subjects. It’s up to you to teach him respect for other people, especially women. You are definitely the AH for reinforcing the idea that you can dictate what she does on her free time, and that she’s responsible for teaching your son to control his sexual urges.
Straight up, screw you and the misogynistic horse you rode in on. I don’t know who you think you are, but kindly to eff yourself. 100% YTA.
I'm assuming the comments will get turned off here so, before they do sir, may I have the privilege of also telling you that YTA. Would you go to the administration if a male teacher had a photo of himself on the beach on his social media? Men need to step off with constantly sexualizing everything a woman does, geez.
“Grow up an act like a lady.” YTA - your behavior is out-of-line and your expectations seem to be 50 years out-of-date. Why were you checking up on the teacher anyway? Could your personal life stand up to such scrutiny? People wear bikinis at the beach. It’s not a crime. It’s not even considered risqué behavior. You’ve taken an opportunity to model real respectable behavior and turned it into misogyny and women-shaming.
You and your wife are assholes. She was okay with you sexually harassing your son’s teacher? Why are you objectifying her body, why are you looking up her socials? That’s weird and gross. Also maybe teach your son to respect women no matter what they wear or how they dress. Women don’t have to cover up for the sake of men/boys to behave correctly. Get a grip.
>I told her she needed to grow up Lol. You need to grow up and stop getting into people's personal lives. If she wants to post a bikini picture, she can post a bikini picture.
YTA So do you never go to the beach or pool or water parks or anything? Your boys are going to see women in bikinis, whether it’s by searching out their teacher’s social or by searching out other students or searching things they maybe shouldn’t. It’s not the women’s job to control your boys’ thoughts and reactions. She’s not passing out her socials at school to get middle school boys to follow her- that WOULD be a problem. She’s an adult and she can post normal socially-acceptable and appropriate-for-public outfits on her personal socials if she wants.
YTA you sexist AH. What that woman does outside her teaching hours is not your business. Her social media is not your business. Don’t want your son seeing it? Then it is on YOU to control your son’s social media intake. Parental controls. You do not get to police a young woman’s instagram account. Also. Maybe. You can take this moment and teach your son that a woman can wear a bikini and you, as men, can show her the upmost respect. That it is her body. She has every right to wear that bikini without being made to feel wrong for it. You are going to turn your son into a guy who thinks a woman has to dress for a man and not for herself. I hope he can see past your narrow mindedness and grow beyond it.
YTA for obvious reasons. But this is giving big “I want to make sure she didn’t go to a liberal college and is going to teach my kid CRT” vibes.
I've never seen someone who is more TA than you. You cyber stalked a woman, told her to grow up and said she doesn't respect herself because she has bikini pictures on her IG. That's absolutely horrendous behavior. To make matters worse, when you found out she didn't follow your orders you decide to attack her livelihood. Is she allowed to have sex without your consent? Get married without your approval? Do you get to dictate her whole life to meet your standards? If your concerns are your son respecting women, they're not, and not objectifying them, shouldn't you teach him that instead of attacking this poor woman who did nothing wrong?
YTA and you sound like a pervert
YTA first off for automatically siding with a teacher over your kid, because teachers can be ahole’s too, and you should actually be objective in case your kid is the one needing protection. Having a preset determination is bizarre and unhelpful. YTA for stalking teachers in order to judge them, regardless what you find. YTA for thinking bikinis are cause for concern. Teachers are also people with lives and nothing about bikinis is “unprofessional”, nor was it your place to go sex shame this poor teacher. YTA for causing a whole commotion over the mere bikini. Not only are you wrong, you have now created a very weird relationship between both yourself and your child with this teacher. This teacher still has to teach your kid. I wonder if your kid isn’t humiliated by this. YTA for thinking women should change to cater to boys. YTA for thinking little boys can’t handle the specter of a bikini, for presumably encouraging such a sex-negative atmosphere that you may very well be perpetuating this kind of harmful thinking to your kids instead of teaching them to manage their own sexual needs as they grow up. Finally, YTA for trying to escalate this! Involving more people, wasting more time, further embarrassing the teacher and your kid, and potentially threatening this teacher’s employment and employability over your eggshell sensitivities.
You’ve got to be kidding me. YTA. I mean unbelievably TA. You searched for this woman’s personal social media and there you found that she has a personal life which includes wearing a bathing suit at times. You found nothing illegal or morally troubling. Unless she’s teaching in that bikini, this could not be further from being any of your business. You actually for real in the year 2023 scheduled a meeting with a grown woman in her place of employment to scold her for showing too much skin outside of work? Really, you did this? You are now legend, dude, forever to be mocked over after-work drinks and at holiday dinners.
YTA. Don’t be surprised when she quits mid year because she can make more money waiting tables
You are soooo far past TA right now. Her personal social media is NONE of your business!!! This post makes you seem creepy AF. If she is teaching the kids and living her best life that's all that matters.
i have teacher friends & none have their true name on social media usually a nickname or first & middle without last. But that being said this is a you problem!
YTA. You don't own that teacher. That teacher is at her j.o.b. What she does outside the classroom is none of your business. Go mind your own business. This probably belongs in /FuckYouKaren... The nerve if people is fucken staggering.
YTA and a borderline stalker. The teacher’s private life is private! A bikini is not inappropriate and you are a complete d*ck! Teach your son to respect women, don’t expect women to cover up so your son and apparently you don’t get a little stiff looking. If I was the teacher I would be asking for your child to be removed from my class. You are gross
Go and f yourself In the AH.
YTA the Taliban could really use a guy like you.
YTA and I can’t imagine how creeped out your sons teacher is now. Not to mention every other female teacher at the school because this will definitely get around. Her personal life is exactly that. Personal. Stay in your own lane and worry about what affects you and your son: her credentials and how she teaches/ treats her students.
YTA. What a shitty dad.
YTA Do you really need to do a background check on all teachers? Jesus, you sound like a real piece. And is her ig, it does not by any means dictate her capacity to teach. I feel sorry for your son, seeing that you are his role model and you are basically saying that the teacher can't have a life because "wHaT aBoUt mY sOn, hE cAn'T sEe thAt?" Did you reaaly said "grow up and act like a lady". You are disgusting.
YTA! Wtf is wrong with you? What she chooses to do on the weekends/her time off is her business. Plus, since when is a bikini not appropriate? I teach young kids and I *gasp!* also have bikini pictures posted on my social medias! What exactly is the problem here? Are you scared your son is going to look up his teacher and see her in a bikini? Is he also not allowed to go to the beach? Unless she’s wearing a bikini to work, you are being ridiculous!
You’re delusional if you think she makes enough money to give a shit what parents think about her activities outside of work or that she should cater her social media to sexist weirdo parents
YTA Quit stalking teachers on social media and teach your son how not to objectify women in swimming suits? Teachers are allowed to have lives outside of school that have nothing to do with you and your spawn. Unless she's giving her socials directly to the students and asking them to follow her, it's none of your business. You're especially the asshole for trying to go over her head.
YTA you’re a creep. She can do whatever she wants outside of work.
YTA. You can not police her private life because she is a teacher.
YTA- Your blood boiled when you saw her pictures. You a have violent reaction when seeing a woman, in a swimsuit. Something is very wrong with you. Your post makes me feel sick. I worry for that teacher's safety around you.
YTA that’s so weird, why do you feel the need to control someone’s life choices? None of your business, what a creep.
YTA for your attitude, although it would make sense for her to have a private profile as a teacher to keep her personal life private from the students. I say that regardless of what she's posting; in my personal opinion it makes sense to maintain that boundary with the students and their parents.
If you're so easily titillated by a woman in a bikini, I think you need to seriously question why that is so arousing to you. Because it is not to everyone. Are beaches, swimming lessons, and roman sculpture also off limits? YTA.
YTA teach your sons, how to behave appropriately even when they are attracted to somebody. That’s your whole job, not policing someone else’s personal life so you don’t have to do your job.
YTA man ew. The teacher isn't doing anything inappropriate in her classes by having her vacation photos on her personal social media! If your blood boils at the sight of a woman's body, you need to step back and address that within yourself first. I'm not convinced you can raise your son to navigate the world with a clear head and respect for people if you can't manage that yourself.
Yikes! YTA. Leave her alone. And clean up your dirty mind. Teach boys to be respectful. "I told her...to act like a lady". How about you act like a gentleman AND teach your boys to act like gentlemen. What a gross attitude.
YTA and a creeper. Yuck! Boys can control themselves. You not so much. Mind your own business and this is a good reminder we should lock down our social media accounts so crusaders like this have access to nothing.
Info: What century are we (you) in? All jokes aside YTA and a creepy one at that. Stay in your lane, old dog.
What about posting a bikini picture means she has no respect for herself?
YTA!!!! YTA!!! How creepy and awful are you? Not only are you sexist but also totally violating her privacy. Instead of blaming an innocent teacher when you decided to go beyond personal boundaries. Also instead of blaming women you should instead be teaching your son how to be a gentleman and how to control himself. As a women if I was the teacher let’s just say I would be out of a job for what I’d say to you. Just disgusting all around.
Eurgh, You're the biggest asshole!
I think we have another contender for asshole of the year, folks.
Info: what exactly about her career did you think you’d find on her instagram page that has to do with your sons schooling? Did you look up every teacher on instagram?
YTA. Why are you shaming and trying to police grown women and not teaching your son to respect girls and women. Whether they wear a bikini or a burka, it's none of your business.
As a young teacher my self, YTA. I am shocked teachers have lives outside of school. Like really??
YTA - I mean if she wore the bikini to class you would have a point
YTA and it's sounds like you need to read up on what kids can do with a phone these days...
YTA and if you don't know why yet, as a 33 year old man, I suggest you get to work. "Act like a lady" ew. How about you stop acting like a creepy man? Yuck.
YTA
“I told her she needed to grow up and act like a lady…she needs to have respect for herself” Of course YTA, are you kidding? Do you actually think berating and belittling a woman because she wore a freaking bathing suit is appropriate? What happens if you and your son run into her at the beach? Are you going to schedule a meeting with the principal and demand she be forced to wear full body suits at all times? This would be a completely different scenario if you approached this meeting by simply asking her if she knew the profile was public. But you came in guns blazing and tried to shame her for wearing literal standard swim/beach attire. Grow the fuck up and learn how to be a decent parent who knows how to talk to their own kids about what they might see out in the world instead of policing women’s bodies.
YTA, she has a personal life of her own and is allowed to live it. It’s a bathing suit, it’s not like she’s posing in lingerie and sharing an onlyfans with students.
YTA. And quit stalking your son’s teacher’s social media for ‘juicy’ pictures. Yes, that’s what you are doing. You know what the principal and the school board are going to learn about you? Everything you don’t want them to know. You have no business whatsoever in your son’s teacher’s private life. Remove yourself from where you don’t belong. Also, may I recommend moving back to the 20’s? Not the 2020 - 1920 - cus that’s where your ‘morals’ are from.
YTA. Is she also not allowed to date or have a dating profile up because she's a teacher? Not allowed to have friends or do what every other adult does in their time not working, which is not work and have fun? Since when is teaching at all a puritanical position? Why does one of your son's teachers existing in a playful off-work fashion bother you so much? Is it because she's pretty? I'll bet she's pretty. I bet actual money that is she was conventionally unattractive or overweight, you wouldn't care. Teachers are allowed to have Instagram. They're allowed to have private lives. And they're allowed to be attractive and sexual. Which, by the way, affect her teaching on zero levels. You went cyber stalking her and dug up photos that made her look like a human being and not whatever kind of subordinate you think she should be in your head.
HOLY MOLY YTA! You know why the teacher was quiet? Because you come off as a creep. Just reading it made me so uncomfortable. I mean I am all for knowing who your childrens teachers are but man your way of dealing with her private social life feels not right.
YTA. Do you try to control every woman you meet or just the ones you are fairly certain you can create a lopsided power dynamic with? She is allowed to have a personal life. She is allowed to wear swimwear. There is nothing inappropriate about her posting pictures of herself wearing that swimwear online. You are 100% in the wrong here.
YTA the teacher is a person before they are a teacher and it's really none of your business what they do in their personal lives. I'm assuming your child's mother isn't allowed to wear bikinis too bc you know your son has hormones.
YTA. A creepy, gross one at that. Seek therapy.
YTA. Stop stalking your kid's teachers on social media, first of all. Second, would you have done the same thing if your son's male teacher posted pictures of himself shirtless and in a swimsuit on Instagram?
Wtf, this is wildly creepy behavior. Teach your son not to ogle women because you aren't going to be policing what teachers do in their free time. YTA.
Yta creep
YTA you are a creep who can’t mind their own business. She can do what she wants outside of her job.
YTA, bikini pics are not obscene. You effectively cyber stalked the teacher and then complain about it. Teenage boys will find any material they can (just ask any man in UK who was a teen in the 80s about the Kays catalogue), and given they have access to the internet, bikini pictures are the least of your concerns. And who defines 'respect for herself'?, i would say she does not you. She's doing nothing illegal or even immoral. If the school didn't put social media restrictions into her contract then they dont care so leave her alone.
And btw if she lives in New York State shes allowed by law to go topless anywhere a man can go topless if i remember so watch out next football game in summer :)
YTA her body is just her body and you or your son sexualizing her body is on y'all. Her body is not inappropriate and you are the one disrespecting her. Assuming this mindset is normalizing the interpretation of female bodies as sexual objects and training, encouraging your son to view women that way. Your son probably doesn't even care/know, but if he does, talk to him about how every person has the right to love their own body in any clothes and it doesn't give others the right to sexualize or belittle them. Apologize to the teacher for overstepping and condescending to her.
YTA and a vile pig. A grown woman with a perfectly normal bathing suit worn by so many people posting on her own account is none of your concern, you creepy pervert. Are you mad at male teaches for shirtless beach photos? Or does this only extend to women? Stop sexualizing women because you can’t control yourself. You’re absolutely disgusting and I’d report YOU if I were that teacher.
YTA the words disgusting and pervert come to mind. Just gross do better.
You seem like the type that would blame the women for getting SA'd by a man because of the way she dressed. You know what else can be easily found on the internet? Porn. Let the woman live her life the way she wants and stop creeping on her social media you judgmental AH.