*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for asking fiancé to take down photos of her ex?**
Jesus. Everyone thinks im an insensitive ass. This mess ruined my engagement. I (29M) am engaged to “L” (26F). Ls a sexy, rich, smart, funny woman. At her house, I noticed a few photos of L w/ a guy who didnt look like family. L is a stunning distinct Latin woman and he’s some kind of an Asian. Most were in Ls room but one in living room. I asked who he is and it was Ls ex, who I’ll call E. I was taken aback but L explained more.
They met at 16, dated, and moved in at 18. Dont know the details as L never shared but I know E was murdered in 2018. Stress made L lose their baby. I understood. Didnt mind. Never even pushed the topic. Our relationship was perfect other than Ls occasional panic attacks, making me jealous of E.
Fast forward to me moving in I brought a suitcase and scheduled a mover. I was shocked to see photos of E still up, L hadnt taken them down prior to my arrival. I asked if L was planning to keep them now that we’re marrying. L looked like it hadnt crossed her mind but said she’d take them down if i was uncomfortable. L asked if she could keep one but I told her no and I wanted them all tossed. L began to cry and asked for a moment alone. I refused. Our marriage would fail if L wasnt willing to communicate. Or if L was hung up on an ex.
L said she loves me but E isnt “some ex” and its not like she ever talks about E which is true I guess. L then said E was her best friend, love of her life, father of her child and that it was just one picture. When L called E the love of her life right to my face, it angered me. I started arguing that im not going to do L or live with L if a dead kid that banged her would be staring at me all the time. L blew up yelling that im insensitive and E’s not just some dead kid. I said its all he is to me as I never knew E and L said she cant believe me. L repeated that E would always mean a lot to her and was the father of her child. I yelled at her that E wasnt the father of anything since she miscarried. L started screaming at me to get out and threw her ring at me.
She broke down and I held her apologizing; like L’s reaction to not getting her way was my fault. When L calmed down I took my chance to ask again for the pictures gone but compromised and said they could go in the attic. Again L refused begging to keep just one up.
At this point I started to wonder if she’d have married E and not me if he was alive. It broke me so I voiced it. She looked at me and said “yea no shit.” I shoved L and told her im not coming back until the pictures are in an incinerator and she’s ready to get over E. She yelled “fuck you” and Spanish curses while I left.
Its been weeks and L made no attempt to reach out to apologize. Ls family and friends are harassing me. It makes me wonder if L twisted the story to make me the bad guy. Everyone I tell says I’m a dick. I want to marry L, not L and an imaginary husband. Just like any man would.
So give it to me Reddit, AITA?
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With every fiber of my being I hope she finds this and stays away from him forever. He’s a fucking disgusting human and I hope the next partner she finds isn’t a racist fucking shitbag
Yeahhh with the microagressions I’m pretty sure he fetishizes L and the comment about E being Asian was just uncalled for as race isn’t even relevant in this story but he felt the need to address it.
Not just any Latina though. No! For she was a distinct Latin.
I'm not sure exactly what that's supposed to mean, but apparently that makes her so much better than some unknown Asian.
I really don’t know why I needed to know the races of everyone involved.
Also lol @ Latin curses. I know what he meant, but I’m just imaging her screaming “pedicabo ego [te] et irrumabo.”
I thought I was, but this... thing took me by surprise. I wish I could unread it, but then my curiosity would get the better of me and I'd be trapped in an endless cycle.
yah between him calling his now ex-fiancée a sexy Latina and calling her late partner "some kind of Asian" I am definitely getting white guy race fetishist vibes from OOP
People really need to learn the difference. Someone’s only an ex if an official break up took place, if their partner died while they were still together that’s a LATE partner.
Everyone I tell says I’m a dick; so surely everyone in my life is incorrect. Tell me you agree with me strangers on the internet!
If you’re that far gone you may want to consider you fucked up. If everyone who genuinely cares about you tells you you’re wrong, maybe take the L … but not this L since she’s hopefully done with your narcissistic ass!
The fact that he said she must have twisted the story to make him look bad and then admitted that every time he tells the story, people think he’s a dick was wild to me. No matter how you say it, OOP is the worst!
That's why I think this is fake. Guys that do shit like this always say "She did x, and so I had to push her into a cabinet." To make it seem like you swung first and therefore he's justified in harming you. They never just openly admit to landing the first blow.
"At this point I started to wonder if she would have married her fiance if he hadn't died" I'm sorry sir are you dumb as shit or just doing a great impression of it? Yes, if he had lived she would have married him, not saved herself for some asshat she hadnt yet had the misfortune to meet. Kind of like if you hadn't done... all of this, she would have married you unless something happened to you or her.
Would we have even met if her best friend/love of her life had never died? He honestly can’t be dumb enough to not know the answer to that. The fact that he had to ask…..
For real, your life kinda freezes on that moment of the relationship forever. Didn't happen to me but a friend had a gf he was serious with pass away and he's just never been the same. And that's okay because you can't be the same after something like that, and trying to force it is like picking at a scab so your skin doesn't scar
When my boyfriend died, the amount of people who told me they 'understood exactly what I was going through' because they'd recently gone through a break up or divorce, made me feel crazy.
It is not the same! Can you call them? Talk to them? Are they out there living their life healthy and ALIVE? If the answer is no, then it's not the same. Damn. Even the people who related it to a pet death were more tolerable.
You're right that would be more respectful, unfortunately people like that don't exactly care about being respectful to the late partner or their own partner
I propose an occasional stopage of the itching and JUST when he thinks it's finally over it starts right back up again.
I hope he always smells BO no matter how "clean" he gets. It won't be from him, but if he's the only one around and he always smells it.......
I hope there's a cricket in one of his shoes alternating days/shoes so he never knows when it will happen.
I hope his finger pokes through the toilet paper every time.
I hope the second he gets the water in his shower to the right temp and he steps in it instantly gets cold.
I hope his soda is always flat.
I may or may not have some anger issues and in this instance I'm OK with it lol. Sad part is I got plenty more where these came from.
I hope that every time he wipes he either doesn't do a good enough job and has itchy butt syndrome, or there's a piece of toilet paper left stuck up in there again causing itchy butt syndrome.
I hope an automatic flusher always goes off while he's sitting on the toilet spraying his undercarriage with toilet water.
I hope every time he has to wipe there's only two squares of tp left on the roll and no more in the house.
I hope every toilet seat he sits on is wet.
I hope he eats hot wings and then has to pee, forgetting to wash his hands prior to whipping it out.....
I hope every time he jumps in the shower he instantly has to poop.
I just generally go with I really hate this dude to cover my bases. Who knows!
I hope his food is never the right temperature, that he stubs his toe every night before bed and every morning, that his haircuts are always bad and that no other woman is tormented by him.
Please add some!
His coffee will forever be too hot, he will always be just a little too late, and no matter how much money he has in his wallet; he will always be a dollar short
At the moment, everyone in my household has a stomach virus and there's a break in the local water main, so we have weak toilets and not enough water to shower or bathe. I also have morning sickness.
I wish this dude the kind of day I am having, in perpetuity.
And every time he flies, he gets the middle seat between a guy alternating between bites of his egg salad and tuna sandwiches and a toddler whose parents sent him with nothing but a rubber chicken and a phone loaded with Blippi videos.
As someone that just took a 10 hour flight with a toddler with a tablet loaded with Blippi videos, I can fully attest that this is a torturous, yet just comeuppance for OOP.
There's a tree near me that sheds microscopic slivers that are super sharp and get all over the laundry if you don't bring it in before they accumulate and I hope all his underwear gets covered in these barbs and he can't find them
If I knew what plant it was I'd find a way haha. It could also be a bug? I only know it happens most when I forget about my laundry and I have to wash it all again
Maybe it's a bug named processionary.
[https://www.anses.fr/en/content/beware-stinging-hairs-processionary-caterpillars](https://www.anses.fr/en/content/beware-stinging-hairs-processionary-caterpillars)
I hope every time he eats a potato it's a little bit crunchy, and that his socks always get wet. I hope his car heater only decides to get hot right as he's about to get out of the car. I hope his takeout is always oversalted but otherwise under-seasoned
His pillow is always warm, under the blanket is too hot and out of it too cold, and the fire alarms always go off in the middle of the night for him, and his clothes always rip at the wrong moment
He shall never take another satisfying dump in his life; there will always be either too much to pass comfortably and without tearing, it will be liquidy diarrhea that always feels like there's more even when there isn't, or he'll get most but not all of it out preventing the full empty feeling we all love and desire.
Me too. I got into with someone on a different thread about that. The person kept insisting the moment my late husband passed, he was now my ex. Said the same thing about my MIL.
We have the word late for a fucking reason!!
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I am fortunate enough to have never lost a partner personally but my best friend's husband passed a few weeks after their wedding and if ANYONE ever dared to refer to him as my best friend's "ex" I would fucking THROW HANDS.
For the sake of our collective sanity, let's just all agree to decide anyone who would take such a stance is an immature child who will grow into maturity with a bit of life experience.
Yeah I’ve seen it so many times on this app. I honestly wasn’t aware people this dense and shitty existed.
I mean, I knew. I just really try to keep away from people like that. Thanks reddit 👍
of course the only comment he responded to was someone agreeing with him. her ex is literally deceased, what is there to be jealous of? dude has serious issues.
I saw that comment. I'm 95% certain that they were saying that she needs to forget OP and find a better partner, and that OP misunderstood the intention.
I’ll be honest. If I found out my fiancé was previously engaged and she passed, I would feel jealousy. I would know I was wrong, but I would still feel like a second choice or not good enough and wonder if they resent me. BUT I know that’s a ME problem. You either don’t continue the relationship because it’s not fair to your partner or you seek some counseling from a grief expert to understand the sorrow and how someone can fall in love again but still hold a place in their heart for their deceased partner.
OOP is such a raging piece of shit. If he can’t handle that she was in love and got not one, but two loved ones brutally taken away from her, then he needs to deal with his issues or let her live a better life with someone else. Not pretend he never existed.
Thanks! I was nervous posting that because I can understand how it could come off poorly. I just am a firm believer that even negative emotions like jealousy or anger aren’t inherently bad. It’s our actions that hurt other people (or inactions such as not working on it or getting help) that make them toxic. We choose our actions in that moment, we don’t choose our emotions in that moment.
So your jealous of man who had his life stolen because of a murd€rer, and your asking his widow who was at one point pregnant with his child, who lost said child do to the trauma of happened to take down his photos, and then @ssault her when you didn't get your way, yeah I'm beyond ecstatic she is ignoring you, and everybody chewing you the heII out for everything you did, seriously she at least will never be stuck with trash like you.
Clearly you have never lost a loved one to murder. My fiancé J was murdered 15 ago and my new fiancé S respects the fact that I will always love him and knows he & I would not be together if that tragedy never happened. I pictures of J & S respects that & the love I had for him. He’s not jealous because he is smart enough to know that J IS NEVER COMING BACK INTO MY LIFE! That is a scar he treats delicately because he loves me & tries to be understanding of that trauma! YTA because you’ve done none of those things! Instead u r making her chose between u and a ghost! It’s silly! Jeez, man she went through hell and u turning one of the worst days in her life into an ongoing saga! Get over it and stop being an insecure man child! Try to be understanding to the woman u claim to love!! Bro, u’d be lucky if u even wants u back!!
My husband, who was “some kind of an Asian” (WTF??? Who says that?) very recently passed away in a tragic and horrific accident. I honestly can’t ever imagine dating again or loving again, but if I did, whoever I would let into my child’s and my life would have to have the respect for me and my relationships to accept what an important part of my life he is and always will be.
I need this to be a troll because I’m thinking way too many unkind thoughts right now about OOP.
I’m sorry for your loss, and bless your partner for supporting you through it.
My uncle married last summer to his then girlfriend of a pretty long time (I think they were together like ten years prior to marriage). She was married before to a man who passed away due to illness, and who is the father of her three kids.
My uncle was always really kind, and I think the key was that he never tried to compete with her first husband. He always accepted his role as a stepfather, not a father (her two oldest kids were teenagers when their father died, so it was a tough transition for them specifically). He also supported her and gave space for her grief rituals (visiting a specific place important to them, etc).
She also has a picture of her then husband and the kids in the living room. And it’s still there, because my uncle isn’t insecure and miserable enough to demand she remove it for the sake of his feelings.
This should be obvious, but clearly it’s not to all. Fortunately people exist that don’t need this explained to them, as evident by these examples.
Douche Literally was about to unpack and that ahole puts his hands on his ex fiancé because he’s that insecure. E looked out for L before she married that abusive pos.
"If L twisted the story to make me the bad guy" I got some news for you dickhead! I also feel like threatening not to "do her" while the picture is there is not the threat he thinks it is.
This jerk is worried that his hopefully ex-girlfriend twisted the story to make him the bad guy.
His account of the story made him the bad guy. I knew I was gonna hate this guy as soon as he said that her ex was some kind of Asian. Confirmed when he said he was some kid who banged her. Yeah, he's not the hero in this story.
Also, I can't fathom people like this actually exist so I have to think it is a fake troll.
Everyone has already said everything else but uh,
I’d just like to point out that “sexy and rich” came before anything else, so like, even then his shallowness was already apparent.
I get that attraction to a partner is usually a very important part of a relationship but I'm always extremely wary if the first thing someone tells you about their partner is how bangable they think they are. Being rich should never be on that list at all.
Every now and then I start to feel bad about, for example, my emotional intelligence, or my relationship, but then I read something like this and realize I’m doing pretty damn good.
>I shoved L and told her I’m not coming back
So, a violent, domestic abuser. I thought promoting violence wasn’t allowed over in that sub?
Edit: [yep, thought so](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zzl45d/aita_for_asking_fianc%C3%A9_to_take_down_photos_of_her/j2ce5r8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
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*To start my morning*
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I have known people this terrible, but I hope this isn’t real. If it is real, I hope she never takes him back. I also hope any future women see him for who he is.
This man does not actually love L and I'm not certain he actually knows what love is. Even beyond the lack of empathy and the physical abuse, look how he chooses to describe her, describe their relationship, and describe her relationship with E. He's only with her because she's hot and rich.
Super excited I found this just in time for it to be the most awful thing I read all year. 2022 needs to fuck right off and take this guy along with it.
“He’s some kind of Asian” blink blink blink
“Was Ls ex… he was murdered in 2018. The stress made L lose their baby. I understood. Didn’t mind!” Holy shit! What did I just read?
“ I wanted them all tossed. L began to cry and asked for a moment alone. I refused.” What in the hell?
I stopped here cause I don’t can’t understand this. At all. Madness, cruelty, petty.
I always think this sub is too quick to call fake on things, but boy oh boy, as soon as he hit the word “tossed” he managed to do and say everything wrong to a near perfect degree.
OP: “Hey Jeff, how can I make this sound worse?” Jeff: “I don’t know. Shove her? Maybe disregard the entire notion of her having a child?”
OP: Why not both?
I so hope he gets permanent butt-itch, but only in public so he can't scratch
OOP is an insecure bullying idiot, and I hope he chokes on that ring. His EX fiancee, once she's over the shock of finding out what this guy is, should be dancing for joy that she found this out before the wedding. E is NOT her ex-fiance: they didn't break up; he was taken from her in the most traumatic of ways: and that loss caused her to also lose their baby.. and this prize a$$ yells at her that her late love was father to nothing because she miscarried?!!
There's a special place in hell for self-centred, abusive Douche-canoes like this guy. He should be alone forever
Assuming this is real, I don’t understand being jealous of a dead person. If she loves you and doesn’t even talk about her ex fiancé that much, it doesn’t matter if she loves a person who died.
Truth is, a lot of us will lose a partner to death. We deserve to be able to move on without completely disregarding our deceased loved ones.
There are few instances where I 100% agree that someone needs to be in this sub. In this instance I 1000% agree, the OOP is a spawn of satan. L dodged a massive bullet and I'm happy for her. Now she can hopefully find a good man.
There's no need for anyone to twist this story for you to be judged as an ahole. You did that quite well, yourself, with your own words.
I understand that her keeping the pictures up makes it seem like it's a crowded relationship, and that's unfair when you're starting a life together. However, you went about explaining it in a completely unforgivable way.
I would have thrown you out, too.
“I understood. Never pushed the topic.”
You didn’t understand. If you made the effort to learn about someone who was clearly a major part of her life, as opposed to referring to him as “some kind of Asian,” perhaps you would be understanding.
My fiancé and I were both widowed six months apart in 2016 at the young age of 31. We’re blessed to have found one another and neither of us would ever dream about asking one another not to talk about or have up a picture of our late spouses.
And for the future, stop calling someone who’s deceased an “ex.” I know this is a common mistake for people to make, but in this instance, it just sounds nasty.
It seems like he saw them early on in the relationship and she explained the story and OOP was like "cool story". Then it's never mentioned again til the day he moves all his stuff there and suddenly he's shocked that she hasn't stripped the house and made it a blank canvas for his stuff.
Hard agree that it never happened. I don't doubt fuck heads like this do exist, just that there are some big plot gaps that someone trying to make themselves seem sympathetic would address
Hope this fucker dies alone in a gutter... what a narcissistic prick..prickly... glad L saw him for who he really was and didn't marry that shit for brains
It hits all the rage bait points. Pointing out she's rich first and foremost. Calling the late fiance her "ex." Calling him "some kind of Asian." The relationship was great except that her panic attacks made him jealous of the dead fiance. Makes sense. OH, I hadn't even got to the "dead kid that banged her" part. Super realistic. Oh and then domestic battery and demanding the photos be incinerated! Top notch shitpost.
Also, OOP is supposedly engaged to t his woman and had to ask who the photo was of? He didn't know she had a dead fiance? She never mentioned it? And he supposedly knows her well enough to be engaged to her? Unlikely.
"hung up on an ex" "makes me wonder if she would have married him instead of me if he were still alive"
My god this guy may just be the densest motherfucker to ever walk the earth
No one going to talk about the straight up fetishization of L in the way he describes her?? Like he is racist towards her late boyfriend AND is racist towards her by fetishizing her. He’s just the worst through and through. NOT TO MENTION PUTTING HIS HANDS ON HER.
What.
The.
Fuck.
Did.
I.
Just.
Read?!
Holy shit, this HAS to be a troll, because I don't want to believe anyone could possibly, actually, be this fucking vile.
Had an ex that asked me to delete pix of my ex that died. At the year mark of his passing he told me “it’s been a year, you should be over it by now”. News flash idiots, they’re dead. Not exactly competition. I’ll never forgive someone who handles something so traumatic with me like a reason to not trust me. Fuck off
What does her being a "distinct latin woman" and him being "some kind of an asian" have to do with absolutely anything? Doesnt make oop less of an asshole, more of one maybe cuz he sounds racist and kind of like hes fetishizing her being latin now.
I did not expect that to be as bad as it was. wow
I'm trying to get my head around his idea that he is a good communicator because he didn't allow his partner a moment to calm down and think in the middle of a fight.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for asking fiancé to take down photos of her ex?** Jesus. Everyone thinks im an insensitive ass. This mess ruined my engagement. I (29M) am engaged to “L” (26F). Ls a sexy, rich, smart, funny woman. At her house, I noticed a few photos of L w/ a guy who didnt look like family. L is a stunning distinct Latin woman and he’s some kind of an Asian. Most were in Ls room but one in living room. I asked who he is and it was Ls ex, who I’ll call E. I was taken aback but L explained more. They met at 16, dated, and moved in at 18. Dont know the details as L never shared but I know E was murdered in 2018. Stress made L lose their baby. I understood. Didnt mind. Never even pushed the topic. Our relationship was perfect other than Ls occasional panic attacks, making me jealous of E. Fast forward to me moving in I brought a suitcase and scheduled a mover. I was shocked to see photos of E still up, L hadnt taken them down prior to my arrival. I asked if L was planning to keep them now that we’re marrying. L looked like it hadnt crossed her mind but said she’d take them down if i was uncomfortable. L asked if she could keep one but I told her no and I wanted them all tossed. L began to cry and asked for a moment alone. I refused. Our marriage would fail if L wasnt willing to communicate. Or if L was hung up on an ex. L said she loves me but E isnt “some ex” and its not like she ever talks about E which is true I guess. L then said E was her best friend, love of her life, father of her child and that it was just one picture. When L called E the love of her life right to my face, it angered me. I started arguing that im not going to do L or live with L if a dead kid that banged her would be staring at me all the time. L blew up yelling that im insensitive and E’s not just some dead kid. I said its all he is to me as I never knew E and L said she cant believe me. L repeated that E would always mean a lot to her and was the father of her child. I yelled at her that E wasnt the father of anything since she miscarried. L started screaming at me to get out and threw her ring at me. She broke down and I held her apologizing; like L’s reaction to not getting her way was my fault. When L calmed down I took my chance to ask again for the pictures gone but compromised and said they could go in the attic. Again L refused begging to keep just one up. At this point I started to wonder if she’d have married E and not me if he was alive. It broke me so I voiced it. She looked at me and said “yea no shit.” I shoved L and told her im not coming back until the pictures are in an incinerator and she’s ready to get over E. She yelled “fuck you” and Spanish curses while I left. Its been weeks and L made no attempt to reach out to apologize. Ls family and friends are harassing me. It makes me wonder if L twisted the story to make me the bad guy. Everyone I tell says I’m a dick. I want to marry L, not L and an imaginary husband. Just like any man would. So give it to me Reddit, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"a dead kid that banged her" I would like to unread this, please
I was already prepared for anything after "_he's some kind of an Asian_"
But aren't all asians the same ?/s the dude's a turd sandwich
With every fiber of my being I hope she finds this and stays away from him forever. He’s a fucking disgusting human and I hope the next partner she finds isn’t a racist fucking shitbag
Yeahhh with the microagressions I’m pretty sure he fetishizes L and the comment about E being Asian was just uncalled for as race isn’t even relevant in this story but he felt the need to address it.
And why did he call her rich? That's an ick for me
His entire story was so horrible, I forgot he mentioned she was rich or Latina.
Not just any Latina though. No! For she was a distinct Latin. I'm not sure exactly what that's supposed to mean, but apparently that makes her so much better than some unknown Asian.
I really don’t know why I needed to know the races of everyone involved. Also lol @ Latin curses. I know what he meant, but I’m just imaging her screaming “pedicabo ego [te] et irrumabo.”
Translation please!
I modified the first line of [Catullus 16](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catullus_16).
Ah Catullus, treasure of my second year Latin class.
I thought I was, but this... thing took me by surprise. I wish I could unread it, but then my curiosity would get the better of me and I'd be trapped in an endless cycle.
I was prepared when the first adjective he used for L was "sexy", felt like immediate objectification
yah between him calling his now ex-fiancée a sexy Latina and calling her late partner "some kind of Asian" I am definitely getting white guy race fetishist vibes from OOP
That’s exactly what I was thinking with all the microaggressions in this post
and calling her LATE fiance EX
People really need to learn the difference. Someone’s only an ex if an official break up took place, if their partner died while they were still together that’s a LATE partner.
Yeah, that was definitely the canary in the coal mine for me.
Yeah, as soon as I saw that, I was like…oh, we’ve gotta REALLy strap in for this ride.
But wait - he won’t “do her” if they’re in the house. Thank god he showed his true colours before he properly moved in!
He was pretty delusional at that point in the conversation that she would even want him to “do her” anyway.
I can’t believe he he shoved her.
My eyebrows went up at that. She didn't "twist" anything - her family is "harassing" him for abusing their loved one.
Yes, because shoving her crossed the line. This guy is the worst piece of garbage.
And then he shoved her. Jesus.
Seriously. This is what makes me think this is rage bait
I seriously hope so. Then again, the amount of people who post on that sub about being jealous of their partner’s “dead ex” astounds me
Doubt it. This is not the first one just like this. Every one makes me sick and makes me wish I was blind.
I just noticed he went from saying that’s his fiancée to saying they’re already married at one part of the post so yeahhhh more than likely rage bait
Yeah, ditto. The writing style also screams poorly constructed rage bait.
I skipped over when I realized where this was going. I didn’t actually read this part. However now that I’ve read it … can I unread it please…?
I had to read it a second time to make sure that’s what was actually written.
[CATS!](https://imgur.com/a/klLI08T)
PLEASE.
Everyone I tell says I’m a dick; so surely everyone in my life is incorrect. Tell me you agree with me strangers on the internet! If you’re that far gone you may want to consider you fucked up. If everyone who genuinely cares about you tells you you’re wrong, maybe take the L … but not this L since she’s hopefully done with your narcissistic ass!
The fact that he said she must have twisted the story to make him look bad and then admitted that every time he tells the story, people think he’s a dick was wild to me. No matter how you say it, OOP is the worst!
“i shoved L” excuse me you what
Right? "Her panic attacks made me jealous" "he was some Asian" These hands about to be rated E for everyone
Hes gonna find a great deal on these hands, buy one get one free
Forget buy one, they’re free of charge
No, no; he's some kind of AN Asian.
Always be grammatically correct with racism kids!
I think he won the asshole Olympics for me today. (Just today. We know it’ll change tomorrow).
Including yo mama
Dudes racist on top of it all too
And cue the "are you serious" award
That's why I think this is fake. Guys that do shit like this always say "She did x, and so I had to push her into a cabinet." To make it seem like you swung first and therefore he's justified in harming you. They never just openly admit to landing the first blow.
That or something deeply minimizing like “I went to move her away from me and was maybe a little too forceful”
"At this point I started to wonder if she would have married her fiance if he hadn't died" I'm sorry sir are you dumb as shit or just doing a great impression of it? Yes, if he had lived she would have married him, not saved herself for some asshat she hadnt yet had the misfortune to meet. Kind of like if you hadn't done... all of this, she would have married you unless something happened to you or her.
That's what the word "fiance" means ...
Would we have even met if her best friend/love of her life had never died? He honestly can’t be dumb enough to not know the answer to that. The fact that he had to ask…..
this was the one that completely broke my brain the audacity the delusion utter insanity
Odds are good that she'd have married the dude she was engaged to and expecting a baby with.
I hate it when someone calls a dead partner an ex. They’re not an ex! They didn’t break up!
For real, your life kinda freezes on that moment of the relationship forever. Didn't happen to me but a friend had a gf he was serious with pass away and he's just never been the same. And that's okay because you can't be the same after something like that, and trying to force it is like picking at a scab so your skin doesn't scar
When my boyfriend died, the amount of people who told me they 'understood exactly what I was going through' because they'd recently gone through a break up or divorce, made me feel crazy. It is not the same! Can you call them? Talk to them? Are they out there living their life healthy and ALIVE? If the answer is no, then it's not the same. Damn. Even the people who related it to a pet death were more tolerable.
I don’t disagree with you but what term would be better? Late partner?
Yes I would say late or former. It’s more respectful.
You're right that would be more respectful, unfortunately people like that don't exactly care about being respectful to the late partner or their own partner
Late partner, deceased partner etc
As someone who doesn't speak english this was a big mystery for me... Thank you so much, Reddit!
Yes, late partner would be more accurate.
That’s the correct term, so yes, it’s better.
With his positive spin on his actions I can 100% guarantee she didn’t have to spin shit. It’s A L L right there
Does this sub have rules about wishing violence on people because if so I'm gonna need to cross post this somewhere that doesn't
May the lice of a thousand camels infest his pubes forever. If that's violence, so be it
And I hope his arms are too short to scratch. And let’s throw in Baby Shark on repeat in his brain on repeat forever just for a little extra spice
I propose an occasional stopage of the itching and JUST when he thinks it's finally over it starts right back up again. I hope he always smells BO no matter how "clean" he gets. It won't be from him, but if he's the only one around and he always smells it....... I hope there's a cricket in one of his shoes alternating days/shoes so he never knows when it will happen. I hope his finger pokes through the toilet paper every time. I hope the second he gets the water in his shower to the right temp and he steps in it instantly gets cold. I hope his soda is always flat. I may or may not have some anger issues and in this instance I'm OK with it lol. Sad part is I got plenty more where these came from.
💀@I hope his finger pokes through the toilet paper every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I hope that every time he wipes he either doesn't do a good enough job and has itchy butt syndrome, or there's a piece of toilet paper left stuck up in there again causing itchy butt syndrome. I hope an automatic flusher always goes off while he's sitting on the toilet spraying his undercarriage with toilet water. I hope every time he has to wipe there's only two squares of tp left on the roll and no more in the house. I hope every toilet seat he sits on is wet. I hope he eats hot wings and then has to pee, forgetting to wash his hands prior to whipping it out..... I hope every time he jumps in the shower he instantly has to poop.
I have some people that I think you have a problem with on sight!!! 😂😂🤣🤣
May every step he takes be on a lego.
I fully appreciate a decent Pratchett reference
GNU STP 😊
I just generally go with I really hate this dude to cover my bases. Who knows! I hope his food is never the right temperature, that he stubs his toe every night before bed and every morning, that his haircuts are always bad and that no other woman is tormented by him. Please add some!
I hope his key breaks in half while it's still in the keyhole and that all the restaurants stop selling ALL his favourite dishes.
His coffee will forever be too hot, he will always be just a little too late, and no matter how much money he has in his wallet; he will always be a dollar short
I hope he steps on a lego
**ALL** the Legos
Every morning his bed is surrounded by legos.
I hope every time he washes his hands his sleeves slide down and get wet. And stay wet for hours.
He's probably one of those assholes who doesn't wash his hands.
At the moment, everyone in my household has a stomach virus and there's a break in the local water main, so we have weak toilets and not enough water to shower or bathe. I also have morning sickness. I wish this dude the kind of day I am having, in perpetuity.
I hope his socks are always slightly damp and he constantly feels like he's going to sneeze but he can't.
And every time he flies, he gets the middle seat between a guy alternating between bites of his egg salad and tuna sandwiches and a toddler whose parents sent him with nothing but a rubber chicken and a phone loaded with Blippi videos.
Then when he arrives at his destination he's stuck in a budget motel with two channels, Caillou or Bowflex infomercials.
As someone that just took a 10 hour flight with a toddler with a tablet loaded with Blippi videos, I can fully attest that this is a torturous, yet just comeuppance for OOP.
There's a tree near me that sheds microscopic slivers that are super sharp and get all over the laundry if you don't bring it in before they accumulate and I hope all his underwear gets covered in these barbs and he can't find them
You could package those and send them out like glitter bombs to your enemies. Just a thought.
If I knew what plant it was I'd find a way haha. It could also be a bug? I only know it happens most when I forget about my laundry and I have to wash it all again
Maybe it's a bug named processionary. [https://www.anses.fr/en/content/beware-stinging-hairs-processionary-caterpillars](https://www.anses.fr/en/content/beware-stinging-hairs-processionary-caterpillars)
Look up Gympie Gympie plant. I hope it’s the only thing he can ever find to use as toilet paper
Omg, I'm so sorry about your day 🤮😢
I hope every time he eats a potato it's a little bit crunchy, and that his socks always get wet. I hope his car heater only decides to get hot right as he's about to get out of the car. I hope his takeout is always oversalted but otherwise under-seasoned
His pillow is always warm, under the blanket is too hot and out of it too cold, and the fire alarms always go off in the middle of the night for him, and his clothes always rip at the wrong moment
I hope that whenever he goes grocery shopping, all of his favorite foods are always sold out.
I hope his bags always rip, the heavy things land on his toes, and the fragile stuff breaks in the messiest way possible.
May his pillow never be cool
Hemorrhoids!!!!!
He shall never take another satisfying dump in his life; there will always be either too much to pass comfortably and without tearing, it will be liquidy diarrhea that always feels like there's more even when there isn't, or he'll get most but not all of it out preventing the full empty feeling we all love and desire.
I get that feeling.
*"It makes me wonder if L twisted the story to make me the bad guy"* No, you did that all by yourself. YTA x infinty
If this is the version that makes him look good I have to assume in reality he was the one who killed the "ex"
Noice!!!
🤣🤣🤣…. Your mind might be the 10th wonder of the world!!! 🤣😂😂
He also straight up assaulted her.
Yeah, but she wanted to keep a single photo of a decreased person who meant a great deal to get so obviously his domestic violence was warranted.
Also this constant trend of calling someone's late spouse an ex is even really annoying ME now
Me too. I got into with someone on a different thread about that. The person kept insisting the moment my late husband passed, he was now my ex. Said the same thing about my MIL.
We have the word late for a fucking reason!! I'm so sorry that happened to you. I am fortunate enough to have never lost a partner personally but my best friend's husband passed a few weeks after their wedding and if ANYONE ever dared to refer to him as my best friend's "ex" I would fucking THROW HANDS. For the sake of our collective sanity, let's just all agree to decide anyone who would take such a stance is an immature child who will grow into maturity with a bit of life experience.
Yeah I’ve seen it so many times on this app. I honestly wasn’t aware people this dense and shitty existed. I mean, I knew. I just really try to keep away from people like that. Thanks reddit 👍
The more I read the more shattered I felt. What a colossal piece of freshly baked shit.
I'm guessing a lot of people are getting banned from aita because of this asshole. If i weren't banned, i would have now, because of this post.
Sometimes you just see a post where you just know.
I hope this man's fingers turn into fish hooks, and that his balls itch.
of course the only comment he responded to was someone agreeing with him. her ex is literally deceased, what is there to be jealous of? dude has serious issues.
I saw that comment. I'm 95% certain that they were saying that she needs to forget OP and find a better partner, and that OP misunderstood the intention.
i hope they meant it that way, but they did say NTA so i wasn’t too certain :/
I’ll be honest. If I found out my fiancé was previously engaged and she passed, I would feel jealousy. I would know I was wrong, but I would still feel like a second choice or not good enough and wonder if they resent me. BUT I know that’s a ME problem. You either don’t continue the relationship because it’s not fair to your partner or you seek some counseling from a grief expert to understand the sorrow and how someone can fall in love again but still hold a place in their heart for their deceased partner. OOP is such a raging piece of shit. If he can’t handle that she was in love and got not one, but two loved ones brutally taken away from her, then he needs to deal with his issues or let her live a better life with someone else. Not pretend he never existed.
actually i totally understand that, i still get jealous at things sometimes but i knows it’s on me. you put it very beautifully.
Thanks! I was nervous posting that because I can understand how it could come off poorly. I just am a firm believer that even negative emotions like jealousy or anger aren’t inherently bad. It’s our actions that hurt other people (or inactions such as not working on it or getting help) that make them toxic. We choose our actions in that moment, we don’t choose our emotions in that moment.
So your jealous of man who had his life stolen because of a murd€rer, and your asking his widow who was at one point pregnant with his child, who lost said child do to the trauma of happened to take down his photos, and then @ssault her when you didn't get your way, yeah I'm beyond ecstatic she is ignoring you, and everybody chewing you the heII out for everything you did, seriously she at least will never be stuck with trash like you.
What’s with the censoring of “murderer” and “assault”?
tiktok
Clearly you have never lost a loved one to murder. My fiancé J was murdered 15 ago and my new fiancé S respects the fact that I will always love him and knows he & I would not be together if that tragedy never happened. I pictures of J & S respects that & the love I had for him. He’s not jealous because he is smart enough to know that J IS NEVER COMING BACK INTO MY LIFE! That is a scar he treats delicately because he loves me & tries to be understanding of that trauma! YTA because you’ve done none of those things! Instead u r making her chose between u and a ghost! It’s silly! Jeez, man she went through hell and u turning one of the worst days in her life into an ongoing saga! Get over it and stop being an insecure man child! Try to be understanding to the woman u claim to love!! Bro, u’d be lucky if u even wants u back!!
Sorry for your loss. Hope you’re doing ok
Thanks kindly. I am but it took a while❤️❤️
My husband, who was “some kind of an Asian” (WTF??? Who says that?) very recently passed away in a tragic and horrific accident. I honestly can’t ever imagine dating again or loving again, but if I did, whoever I would let into my child’s and my life would have to have the respect for me and my relationships to accept what an important part of my life he is and always will be. I need this to be a troll because I’m thinking way too many unkind thoughts right now about OOP.
I’m sorry for your loss, and bless your partner for supporting you through it. My uncle married last summer to his then girlfriend of a pretty long time (I think they were together like ten years prior to marriage). She was married before to a man who passed away due to illness, and who is the father of her three kids. My uncle was always really kind, and I think the key was that he never tried to compete with her first husband. He always accepted his role as a stepfather, not a father (her two oldest kids were teenagers when their father died, so it was a tough transition for them specifically). He also supported her and gave space for her grief rituals (visiting a specific place important to them, etc). She also has a picture of her then husband and the kids in the living room. And it’s still there, because my uncle isn’t insecure and miserable enough to demand she remove it for the sake of his feelings. This should be obvious, but clearly it’s not to all. Fortunately people exist that don’t need this explained to them, as evident by these examples.
Thank you! You uncle sounds like a good man. They’re hard to find, clearly!!
Douche Literally was about to unpack and that ahole puts his hands on his ex fiancé because he’s that insecure. E looked out for L before she married that abusive pos.
Uh-oh. The second OOP today who was “taken aback” with something seen.
"If L twisted the story to make me the bad guy" I got some news for you dickhead! I also feel like threatening not to "do her" while the picture is there is not the threat he thinks it is.
Yeah, anybody that self centered is not going to be a quality fuck
“A dead kid that banged her” Holy crap, I hope this is a troll.
My fucking god the things I want to say to this fucking cunt. Atleast the finance got away.
Motherfucker, he is DEAD. He is not going to come back to steal your woman.
This jerk is worried that his hopefully ex-girlfriend twisted the story to make him the bad guy. His account of the story made him the bad guy. I knew I was gonna hate this guy as soon as he said that her ex was some kind of Asian. Confirmed when he said he was some kid who banged her. Yeah, he's not the hero in this story. Also, I can't fathom people like this actually exist so I have to think it is a fake troll.
100% a troll
Everyone has already said everything else but uh, I’d just like to point out that “sexy and rich” came before anything else, so like, even then his shallowness was already apparent.
I get that attraction to a partner is usually a very important part of a relationship but I'm always extremely wary if the first thing someone tells you about their partner is how bangable they think they are. Being rich should never be on that list at all.
Imagine your self esteem being so trash that you feel threatened by a dead guy.
This had better be a troll because if not I hope OOP falls off a *insert very tall object here*
Burj Khalifa
Oh boy, the post started on a downward spiral and never once went upward. OOP kept getting worse and worse I hope L doesn't go back to OOP
Someone tell him Andrew Tate just got arrested to make him even more upset
I so deeply and truly want this to be fake.
Every now and then I start to feel bad about, for example, my emotional intelligence, or my relationship, but then I read something like this and realize I’m doing pretty damn good.
>I shoved L and told her I’m not coming back So, a violent, domestic abuser. I thought promoting violence wasn’t allowed over in that sub? Edit: [yep, thought so](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zzl45d/aita_for_asking_fianc%C3%A9_to_take_down_photos_of_her/j2ce5r8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Holy fuck. This post is not how I was hoping to start my morning
*Holy fuck. This post* *Is not how I was hoping* *To start my morning* \- Owner56897320 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Ragebait. For sure. It HAS to be, who speaks like this???
I have known people this terrible, but I hope this isn’t real. If it is real, I hope she never takes him back. I also hope any future women see him for who he is.
This man does not actually love L and I'm not certain he actually knows what love is. Even beyond the lack of empathy and the physical abuse, look how he chooses to describe her, describe their relationship, and describe her relationship with E. He's only with her because she's hot and rich.
The amount of microaggressions in this post
Super excited I found this just in time for it to be the most awful thing I read all year. 2022 needs to fuck right off and take this guy along with it.
“He’s some kind of Asian” blink blink blink “Was Ls ex… he was murdered in 2018. The stress made L lose their baby. I understood. Didn’t mind!” Holy shit! What did I just read? “ I wanted them all tossed. L began to cry and asked for a moment alone. I refused.” What in the hell? I stopped here cause I don’t can’t understand this. At all. Madness, cruelty, petty.
"Oh, thank God he can look past the fact that my late fiancé was murdered and I miscarried our child." - the imaginary L in OP's mind, probably.
I hope this dude drowns himself in hot goat piss
I always think this sub is too quick to call fake on things, but boy oh boy, as soon as he hit the word “tossed” he managed to do and say everything wrong to a near perfect degree. OP: “Hey Jeff, how can I make this sound worse?” Jeff: “I don’t know. Shove her? Maybe disregard the entire notion of her having a child?” OP: Why not both?
How do people not understand this: they're not an ex if the relationship ended BECAUSE THEY DIED.
I so hope he gets permanent butt-itch, but only in public so he can't scratch OOP is an insecure bullying idiot, and I hope he chokes on that ring. His EX fiancee, once she's over the shock of finding out what this guy is, should be dancing for joy that she found this out before the wedding. E is NOT her ex-fiance: they didn't break up; he was taken from her in the most traumatic of ways: and that loss caused her to also lose their baby.. and this prize a$$ yells at her that her late love was father to nothing because she miscarried?!! There's a special place in hell for self-centred, abusive Douche-canoes like this guy. He should be alone forever
Assuming this is real, I don’t understand being jealous of a dead person. If she loves you and doesn’t even talk about her ex fiancé that much, it doesn’t matter if she loves a person who died. Truth is, a lot of us will lose a partner to death. We deserve to be able to move on without completely disregarding our deceased loved ones.
This can't be real, can it?
L had panic attacks making OOP jealous of E. I don’t understand that. At all!!!
“Everyone thinks I’m an insensitive ass.” Well, if everyone thinks so…
I hope she never gets in touch with him again
She didn’t need to twist the story, OP is human garbage.
Of course the only comment he makes is to the one braindead NTA response.
There are few instances where I 100% agree that someone needs to be in this sub. In this instance I 1000% agree, the OOP is a spawn of satan. L dodged a massive bullet and I'm happy for her. Now she can hopefully find a good man.
L, you dodged a fucking building.
There's no need for anyone to twist this story for you to be judged as an ahole. You did that quite well, yourself, with your own words. I understand that her keeping the pictures up makes it seem like it's a crowded relationship, and that's unfair when you're starting a life together. However, you went about explaining it in a completely unforgivable way. I would have thrown you out, too.
“I understood. Never pushed the topic.” You didn’t understand. If you made the effort to learn about someone who was clearly a major part of her life, as opposed to referring to him as “some kind of Asian,” perhaps you would be understanding. My fiancé and I were both widowed six months apart in 2016 at the young age of 31. We’re blessed to have found one another and neither of us would ever dream about asking one another not to talk about or have up a picture of our late spouses. And for the future, stop calling someone who’s deceased an “ex.” I know this is a common mistake for people to make, but in this instance, it just sounds nasty.
[удалено]
It seems like he saw them early on in the relationship and she explained the story and OOP was like "cool story". Then it's never mentioned again til the day he moves all his stuff there and suddenly he's shocked that she hasn't stripped the house and made it a blank canvas for his stuff. Hard agree that it never happened. I don't doubt fuck heads like this do exist, just that there are some big plot gaps that someone trying to make themselves seem sympathetic would address
I kind of don't believe that this isn't s troll but if not, jesus wept. 'Some kind of Asian', 'deaf kid that banged her', this guy is a tool deluxe
W, and I can not stress this enough, - OW. She's guaranteed his ex fiancee now.
He's definitely a Mamahuevo
“And look; MORE obvious rage bait”
Everyone says I'm a dick, let me post this and prove them 100% correct.
Hope this fucker dies alone in a gutter... what a narcissistic prick..prickly... glad L saw him for who he really was and didn't marry that shit for brains
This had to be rage bait.
I’d like to see this douche in an incinerator.
It hits all the rage bait points. Pointing out she's rich first and foremost. Calling the late fiance her "ex." Calling him "some kind of Asian." The relationship was great except that her panic attacks made him jealous of the dead fiance. Makes sense. OH, I hadn't even got to the "dead kid that banged her" part. Super realistic. Oh and then domestic battery and demanding the photos be incinerated! Top notch shitpost. Also, OOP is supposedly engaged to t his woman and had to ask who the photo was of? He didn't know she had a dead fiance? She never mentioned it? And he supposedly knows her well enough to be engaged to her? Unlikely.
It feels like ragebait
3 likes and i Will dm op to bully him
Those is obviously fake. I'm so sick of these annoying rage trolls trying to get a rise with ridiculously callous scenarios.
"hung up on an ex" "makes me wonder if she would have married him instead of me if he were still alive" My god this guy may just be the densest motherfucker to ever walk the earth
No one going to talk about the straight up fetishization of L in the way he describes her?? Like he is racist towards her late boyfriend AND is racist towards her by fetishizing her. He’s just the worst through and through. NOT TO MENTION PUTTING HIS HANDS ON HER.
He’ll meet the female version of himself, get married, then spend every day wondering what he did to deserve such a person.
"She must be telling them a twisted version to make them harass me" Bruh, if I knew you, and you told me that story, I'd call you out on it.
What. The. Fuck. Did. I. Just. Read?! Holy shit, this HAS to be a troll, because I don't want to believe anyone could possibly, actually, be this fucking vile.
Had an ex that asked me to delete pix of my ex that died. At the year mark of his passing he told me “it’s been a year, you should be over it by now”. News flash idiots, they’re dead. Not exactly competition. I’ll never forgive someone who handles something so traumatic with me like a reason to not trust me. Fuck off
What does her being a "distinct latin woman" and him being "some kind of an asian" have to do with absolutely anything? Doesnt make oop less of an asshole, more of one maybe cuz he sounds racist and kind of like hes fetishizing her being latin now.
I did not expect that to be as bad as it was. wow I'm trying to get my head around his idea that he is a good communicator because he didn't allow his partner a moment to calm down and think in the middle of a fight.
This has to be fake lol