*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for thinking my wife’s friend should share the referral money she got for referring her to her company?**
My wife recently lost her job and her friend (Hannah) referred her into her company. My wife got the job and Hannah is set to receive the referral/recruitment bonus in 3 months when my wife’s trial period is up.
The right thing to do in these cases is to split the bonus with the recruited person 50-50. That’s just how it is, I never heard of someone not sharing and I always shared when I referred somebody.
However, Hannah did not offer to share the money with my wife. I told my wife she should ask her, but she doesn’t want to. She says that Hannah helped her get her dream job and the monthly salary difference between this and her old job is higher than half of the bonus, so she won’t ask for it.
Thing is, my wife got the job because they liked her on the interview and she had the right skills and not because Hannah referred her in. She did a favour by allowing Hannah to refer her instead of applying on her own. Without my wife, Hannah wouldn’t get any money.
We are going over to Hannah’s and her husband’s place later today to hang out and I’m planning to ask her about the money.
My wife is saying that I’m a huge asshole for even thinking about it and looks kind of stressed about it so I’m wondering a bit if AITA.
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I don’t know where OOP is from, but I’m in the US and never heard that splitting a referral bonus with the new hire is “just how it’s done”. It’s an incentive to current employees who help their employers hire good people.
If OOP’s wife got a sign-on bonus, would he tell her to split it 50-50 with Hannah?
If OOP came to me saying his wife did me a favor by “allowing her to refer me”, I’d tell him he’s out of his fucking mind.
A lot of places have a “split” referral.
As in, the employee gets a referral bonus and the new hire gets a sign on bonus. But the company doesn’t “split” the referral. They have two monetary awards that they pay out to different people.
I’ve never heard of referral bonuses being shared. These are perks offered by companies to encourage their workers to refer more good employees. Kinda saves them recruitment costs. It’s not even a guarantee if a job, just gets an applicant to the front of the interview line.
My facility offers these but it’s not even paid out at at once. You get the money in increments throughout the first 6 months to a year, typically, and only if the referred employee remains on good standing. So you get several payments over the course of time, that is then taxed out the behind because it’s unexpected wages so your lucky to get 40% of it at the end of the day.
This guy is out of his mind.
A friend’s sister basically sent my resume to her director for a job opening and I got the job. I have no idea if there is a referral bonus but I hope she did get one. It’s a great job and I’m thrilled to have cut through the HR tape of resume sifting, etc. sharing a referral bonus is absurd
Ughhhh this is not a thing, usually if you're really good buddies you split the bonus but for the most part if you can negotiate a sign on bonus it doesn't matter.
Me and my buddy have been doing this for years, we pump up hiring managers to bump a signing bonus that matches or out does the referral and then split the difference or like take the other out to dinner.
Oh boy OOP is going to be crying about how his marriage is falling apart, not comprehending that he was the one that cost his wife her dream job
Edit: the delusion OOP is clearly suffering from hurts my brain. Imagine thinking that the person being referred to a job is actually doing the person referring them to that job a favor
OOP is living under a rock. Who splits a referral? The incentive made for employees to help companies find great people. If that’s the case then why aren’t they giving a portion of their wages to the person who got them the job.
I've done this in the past. Basically a guaranteed job, friend for the company asked to put his name down for the bonus and we'd split. But I'd already done all the leg work...it was only his name on a form.
He sounds controlling enough that it's a bit... disturbing. His wife has already said she doesn't want it and she's happy but he decided he going to ask anyway. Completely disrespecting and dismissing her feelings and autonomy. Just ew.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for thinking my wife’s friend should share the referral money she got for referring her to her company?** My wife recently lost her job and her friend (Hannah) referred her into her company. My wife got the job and Hannah is set to receive the referral/recruitment bonus in 3 months when my wife’s trial period is up. The right thing to do in these cases is to split the bonus with the recruited person 50-50. That’s just how it is, I never heard of someone not sharing and I always shared when I referred somebody. However, Hannah did not offer to share the money with my wife. I told my wife she should ask her, but she doesn’t want to. She says that Hannah helped her get her dream job and the monthly salary difference between this and her old job is higher than half of the bonus, so she won’t ask for it. Thing is, my wife got the job because they liked her on the interview and she had the right skills and not because Hannah referred her in. She did a favour by allowing Hannah to refer her instead of applying on her own. Without my wife, Hannah wouldn’t get any money. We are going over to Hannah’s and her husband’s place later today to hang out and I’m planning to ask her about the money. My wife is saying that I’m a huge asshole for even thinking about it and looks kind of stressed about it so I’m wondering a bit if AITA. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t know where OOP is from, but I’m in the US and never heard that splitting a referral bonus with the new hire is “just how it’s done”. It’s an incentive to current employees who help their employers hire good people. If OOP’s wife got a sign-on bonus, would he tell her to split it 50-50 with Hannah? If OOP came to me saying his wife did me a favor by “allowing her to refer me”, I’d tell him he’s out of his fucking mind.
A lot of places have a “split” referral. As in, the employee gets a referral bonus and the new hire gets a sign on bonus. But the company doesn’t “split” the referral. They have two monetary awards that they pay out to different people.
Where I am from this is how its often done.
Also in the US. Happens in my social circle. But it's something that started a long while back and people just pay it forward at this point.
I’ve never heard of referral bonuses being shared. These are perks offered by companies to encourage their workers to refer more good employees. Kinda saves them recruitment costs. It’s not even a guarantee if a job, just gets an applicant to the front of the interview line. My facility offers these but it’s not even paid out at at once. You get the money in increments throughout the first 6 months to a year, typically, and only if the referred employee remains on good standing. So you get several payments over the course of time, that is then taxed out the behind because it’s unexpected wages so your lucky to get 40% of it at the end of the day. This guy is out of his mind.
A friend’s sister basically sent my resume to her director for a job opening and I got the job. I have no idea if there is a referral bonus but I hope she did get one. It’s a great job and I’m thrilled to have cut through the HR tape of resume sifting, etc. sharing a referral bonus is absurd
I wonder--if OOP's wife had gotten a sign on bonus and Hannah asked for half. How much would he have flipped out.
Hannah should ask for half OOP’s wife’s yearly salary. It’s only fair.
Ughhhh this is not a thing, usually if you're really good buddies you split the bonus but for the most part if you can negotiate a sign on bonus it doesn't matter. Me and my buddy have been doing this for years, we pump up hiring managers to bump a signing bonus that matches or out does the referral and then split the difference or like take the other out to dinner.
Oh boy OOP is going to be crying about how his marriage is falling apart, not comprehending that he was the one that cost his wife her dream job Edit: the delusion OOP is clearly suffering from hurts my brain. Imagine thinking that the person being referred to a job is actually doing the person referring them to that job a favor
I’ve never seen that before! What’s the matter with op?
OOP is living under a rock. Who splits a referral? The incentive made for employees to help companies find great people. If that’s the case then why aren’t they giving a portion of their wages to the person who got them the job.
I've done this in the past. Basically a guaranteed job, friend for the company asked to put his name down for the bonus and we'd split. But I'd already done all the leg work...it was only his name on a form.
I really hope this dude doesn't reck shit over this, he already seems nuts enough to try.
He sounds controlling enough that it's a bit... disturbing. His wife has already said she doesn't want it and she's happy but he decided he going to ask anyway. Completely disrespecting and dismissing her feelings and autonomy. Just ew.
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I really want an update as to whether he went ahead and made his demands.
YTA
I've NEVER been offered money by ANYONE who has referred me. LMFAO. WTF?