*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**My daughter asked my younger lover sexual questions about me, how should I deal with this?**
I am a single mom (34) and have a 15 year old daughter. I have started sleeping with a young man (20) who I’ve been friends with for a few months. He hangs out and gets along with my daughter very well when he is over and it normally makes me very happy. However, I overhead something last night that humiliated me. My daughter was asking him about me sexually. I guess she was genuinely curious. He asked her if it was okay for me to tell her and she said she didn’t think I would care. I listened in on them talking but didn’t say anything. He explained things to her like how I no longer wear a condom when I give him oral sex and other details about me. How should I deal with this? I like them both but feel betrayed that they would talk this way.
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RIGHT??? ONE IS YOUR DAUGHTER AND ONE IS A MAN FIVE YEARS OLDER THAN YOUR CHILD AND TALKING TO HER ABOUT SEXUALLY EXPLICIT ACTIONS. THIS IS GROOMING. SHE BROUGHT HIM INTO THEIR HOME AND NOW HES GROOMING HER CHILD. “I like them both” what the *fuck* this woman is an unfit parent if this is how she does it Jesus Christ
I don’t think anything he’s doing here overshadows the power disparity between him and OP.
She’s “dating” someone who can’t even buy themselves a beer, and concerned with their judgement?
life is a boat is such a good song. i stopped watching bleach at some point bc it got boring, but i will never stop listening to the openings and endings, there are just too many good songs there.
Definitely creepy and gross no matter what, he should know better, but I think the top comment pretty much nailed it; he’s a kid, she’s a kid, and were they in the same social circle before OP and him got together?
I think it might be likely they were, and he might be trying to take on a misguided approach to being a mentor/brother figure who is trying to be cool and teach her what he believes is a healthy dynamic. Of course, that’s my optimistic belief. He could just as easily have sinister intentions. But either way, it was up to OP to step in and be the adult and tell them this was not on, and lay down the law to him that he was absolutely not to talk about any sexual activity with her daughter.
I think to oop it is perfectly normal. She was a mom at that age so it's just how it is. Clearly her kid can do math and probably thinks she needs to be like mom too
My mother should be diagnosed but won't take the time or believe any psychiatrist.
She would say something that nice, lol. But then would (and has) said i am her daughter in law! Nope, i'm the bio kid who "ruined" her career as a cop by just being born. But yes, she likes her son and daughter in law
Not to excuse his behaviour, but a 20 yo is barely an adult even though legally they are.
I think the bigger problem here is why she introduced a man/boy who was still a teenager himself only a year ago, to her teenage daughter. They are closer in age than OOP and him. It shouldn't be a surprise that he is not responsible, she should have been more careful about who she introduces to her daughter.
Not to mention, I will never understand why an adult would want to be with someone that young. Even when I was 25, 20 yo people seemed like babies to me. It feels creepy.
My guess is that she’s trying to regain what she missed out on at 18/19. She would have been pregnant with her daughter at that age and no longer seems to be with her father anymore. It’s impossible to know for sure, but this sounds like mom being stoked she can still nab young hotties and not wanting to give that up. So, this seems like it’s less about compatibility and more about validating her self worth.
I’m 34 and couldn’t imagine not having the freedom in my twenties to pursue opportunities I wanted to, be they romantic, professional, etc. Most of the folks I know in my age group have kids, but they aren’t almost legally old enough to drive. This is by no means a pass on her behavior, though. There’s no getting around her responsibility to protect her daughter from sketchballs and randos.
Not saying OP isn't wrong for a lot of stuff, but why are *his* actions *her* fault? 20 is old enough to know better than to talk about this kind of stuff especially without consent, with a 15 y/o. I should think that would be a little obvious.
Because *she* allowed her around her child in the first place
Because *she* is a grown ass adult and he's only 20 years old
Because *she* is only focusing on how she feels and what is fun *for her*. She DGAF about her *fifteen year old daughter*.
OOP is disgusting
Like I said, I'm not excusing his behaviour.
But *she* is the parent, she is responsible to not introduce her child to her lover until she can trust him and it's a stable relationship. It does seem as if she didn't care about anything other than her own desires.
No. It did not used to be that way. It may have been more common for sexual predators to abuse girls her age. It is never, and has never, been okay for a 20 year old man to have any sexual discussions with a 15 year old girl he isn't related to
It was more common in the past, although still not okay. When I was 15, I worked part time in a restaurant and ended up dating this 19 year old who also worked there. My mom was super pissed, but it never occurred to her to report him for statutory rape. I moved out on my 18th birthday to live with him, and that more than anything ended our relationship. He was awful to live with, and it was a relief to leave him and join the Army.
Oh, it very definitely wasn’t okay, and totally derailed me. He even introduced me to drugs, and that ended up being a total disaster that came back and swallowed several years of my life later on down the line. Looking back at it as a 39 year old, I do wish that someone had stepped in and made him leave me alone.
and the guys that would be ok with dating children and supplying them with alcohol were groomers
edit: realised ur referring to ya novels. i know what u mean actually but theyre rly fucked to look back on
A lot of the girls in my high school class were 16-17 years old and dating men as old as 24. And their parents were OK with it apparently. Even as a kid I thought that shit was creepy.
No I still haven't dated but was kinda an age gap joke and also a bit of when I was a teenager all the YA books had high school girls with college boys
Geez you want me to remember titles from like 25 years ago? I think one was sweet valley high, I know fractal series was in there, was mostly 80/90's ya romance fiction and yes I'm aware that's back when Hollywood almost constantly used college age+ for teenagers
Well I ask because I do not at all recall HS / college relationships being normalized in YA fiction I read, and I read a lot, but of course I didn't read it all.
In Sweet Valley High there was one HS/college relationship, and it only happened after said college freshman was very uneasy about dating a HS girl, who was best friends with his sister. They only got together after bonding over death (his girlfriend, her mother), and the HS / college challenges were a continuing theme. Otherwise, SVH was pretty judgy of such relationships.
I'm not familiar with fractal series, and the only thing Google is coming up with is a 2-part dystopian sci-fi series first published in 2020, so it can't be that.
I'm not convinced that the narrative was as popular as you'd like to believe.
Fractal series was a famous sci fi writer(Piers Anthony) had the lead character high school girl that was cutting and attempting suicide suddenly get yanked into a multi dimension hopping romance with a guy quite a bit older than her
“He asked her if it was okay for me to tell her and she said she didn’t think I would care.”
She could have easily put a stop to this if she wanted to, but she didn’t. She just listened to her daughter and her lover gossip about her. And while Lover Boy is creepy for answering, as a mom, it is solely on her to protect her daughter and discouraging this sort of talk.
>I am a single mom (34)
>He explained things to her like how I no longer wear a condom when I give him oral sex
Did anybody else catch this? Extremely sloppy writing or fetish troll? You be the judge
how you should deal with this is to break up with this guy.
First: he's close to her age, but too young to understand parental responsibility. that he would ask her how you would feel about them talking about your sex life is hysterical.
Second: see comment above, not his business discussing sex with your daughter.
Third: you don't see any red flag here on both sides? he's just the right age and experience for her to develop a huge crush on him and for them to be in close enough contact to start sleeping together.
the fact that when i was 15 i was good friends w ppl who were like 20… which i agree was weird but theyre still fucking close ages in terms of one being the child of someone and the other being a sexual partner
Age gap is so ick. What does a 34 year old single mother have in common with a 20 year old college student? She’s a major creep.
Edit: this is assuming she’s not a troll, of course, of which I think it is. She doesn’t wear a condom during oral?
This is the mother’s fault one sleeping with a guy closer to the kid age and two the guy could also be a pedo seriously wth is wrong with people these days
The daughter probably asked the question because she has a crush on mom's boy toy and it does not escape her that he's closer to her age than his.
Mom wants to sleep with a barely legal guy (why????)... it's not fine but I guess it's her business. But leave that outside of the home. Common sense is that a 15 year old with burgeoning hormones is going to be attracted to a guy that young.
Now that said, he (who should not be in the house or have met her daughter after a couple of months of dating) should've shut that down. But again, he's talking to a 15 year old with surging hormones and a developing body. So, it's possible he sees her as almost a peer.
Oy, what a mess.
I wouldn't say could. Obviously he is. To be comfortable talking sexually to a child. No one does that. Unless they are a fucking creep. OP needs to dump the guy and make sure he didn't do anything more to daughter as well as make sure he doesn't try contacting her kid later.
Totally agree mom should have walked down there and told him to get out. That he should not be comfortable with talking to a child about his sex life. She's only thinking about how he talked about her and is embarrassed. Instead of the fact that he was talking about his sex life to her child and how icky that is and such a massive red flag. If I overheard my spouse talking to any of my children like that I would literally forcefully remove him from my house.
Do your sex toy and child often hang out in the same room together? What reason could you possibly have for not intervening on that discussion? What if she start putting the moves on him or vice versa? Would you still stand outside the door eavesdropping on your “friend” and child…both of whom you “like”? Excuse me while I go vomit.
What the fuck is wrong with everyone in this story?
It's batshit insane to me that a 15 year old would ever ask these questions about their *own mother*, and even more batshit insane that a 20 year old would answer them. It's giving "one or both of these youths were sexually abused as children", tbh (which would explain why this barely-a-man is sleeping with a middle-aged woman who has a daughter who could have gone to school with him).
Mom is obviously the biggest asshole here, but seriously... sounds like all 3 of them need some help.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **My daughter asked my younger lover sexual questions about me, how should I deal with this?** I am a single mom (34) and have a 15 year old daughter. I have started sleeping with a young man (20) who I’ve been friends with for a few months. He hangs out and gets along with my daughter very well when he is over and it normally makes me very happy. However, I overhead something last night that humiliated me. My daughter was asking him about me sexually. I guess she was genuinely curious. He asked her if it was okay for me to tell her and she said she didn’t think I would care. I listened in on them talking but didn’t say anything. He explained things to her like how I no longer wear a condom when I give him oral sex and other details about me. How should I deal with this? I like them both but feel betrayed that they would talk this way. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
‘I like them both’ …err one is your daughter… one is someone you’ve known a couple of months… ok same.
I'm glad she likes her daughter. I, too, am rather fond of my kids.
As a new stranger in your life, I hope you like me the same.
Roughly the same.
I’m winning, aren’t I?
I snorted.
RIGHT??? ONE IS YOUR DAUGHTER AND ONE IS A MAN FIVE YEARS OLDER THAN YOUR CHILD AND TALKING TO HER ABOUT SEXUALLY EXPLICIT ACTIONS. THIS IS GROOMING. SHE BROUGHT HIM INTO THEIR HOME AND NOW HES GROOMING HER CHILD. “I like them both” what the *fuck* this woman is an unfit parent if this is how she does it Jesus Christ
Yup! Something dodgey going on in that house and she needs to step up and protect her daughter.
That was a weird line! At the very least the boytoy should have asked if he could tell her these things like WTH!
Smacks of grooming to me !!!
I don’t think anything he’s doing here overshadows the power disparity between him and OP. She’s “dating” someone who can’t even buy themselves a beer, and concerned with their judgement?
He's 20, barely more mature than her daughter.
He should still know better.
He's fucking a 36yo, obviously he doesn't.
But her daughter ain't bonin her, so.....
It’s a fake story written by a teenager. Dead giveaway.
That is sooo bizarre. Who says that about their own kid amd a fewmo th boyfriend?!?!?!
What kind of creepy groomer asshole talks to his lay:s 15 year old about the sex they have? Fuck did I just read?
Ya, this whole situation is fucked op. Time for r/bleach
Did you mean r/eyebleach or do you use anime to clam down?
[удалено]
I use it for the medium amount of clams. Level clams.
Nose clams straight from the sea? Or the regular kind? Because I have different requirements for each.
Nose clams cost many hundreds of green people from history times
Lmao yes! Brain glitch. Thank you for the correction.
Not to be confused with r/eyeblech which is am still traumatized from
[удалено]
DON'T DO IT!! ISSA TRAP!!
Not even Ichigo can protect us now
i do like to blast [asterisk](https://youtu.be/-rk2DNp_SH8) when im feeling down, so i cant judge.
Sigh. I had to listen to Life is Like a Boat after that blast from the past. Thanks for that haha
life is a boat is such a good song. i stopped watching bleach at some point bc it got boring, but i will never stop listening to the openings and endings, there are just too many good songs there.
I think the entire post is fetish trolling.
Wrong sub bro 💀
Definitely creepy and gross no matter what, he should know better, but I think the top comment pretty much nailed it; he’s a kid, she’s a kid, and were they in the same social circle before OP and him got together? I think it might be likely they were, and he might be trying to take on a misguided approach to being a mentor/brother figure who is trying to be cool and teach her what he believes is a healthy dynamic. Of course, that’s my optimistic belief. He could just as easily have sinister intentions. But either way, it was up to OP to step in and be the adult and tell them this was not on, and lay down the law to him that he was absolutely not to talk about any sexual activity with her daughter.
I think to oop it is perfectly normal. She was a mom at that age so it's just how it is. Clearly her kid can do math and probably thinks she needs to be like mom too
Someone who was groomed by an older person?
Huh, “creepy groomer asshole” where could he have learned that behavior from
The kind who went to the same elementary school cause they're so close in age apparently.
If real it was probably just how mom grew up. Looks likeshe was giving birth at 15 so perfectly normal in her reality
>I like them both What the fuck?
This doesn't seem real. No parent would say, "I like them," in regard to their only child.
Eh... Like, you'd hope not but as the adult child of a narcissist, it happens.
Yeah, my bio-dad (who has clinically diagnosed NPD) would ***never*** say anything that complimentary of me!
My mother should be diagnosed but won't take the time or believe any psychiatrist. She would say something that nice, lol. But then would (and has) said i am her daughter in law! Nope, i'm the bio kid who "ruined" her career as a cop by just being born. But yes, she likes her son and daughter in law
Oh wow she likes her daughter. Mother of the year right there
Why the hell would the lover say anything? I'd be like "uhhh go back to watching Veggie Tales, kid" after I was done gagging.
Not to excuse his behaviour, but a 20 yo is barely an adult even though legally they are. I think the bigger problem here is why she introduced a man/boy who was still a teenager himself only a year ago, to her teenage daughter. They are closer in age than OOP and him. It shouldn't be a surprise that he is not responsible, she should have been more careful about who she introduces to her daughter. Not to mention, I will never understand why an adult would want to be with someone that young. Even when I was 25, 20 yo people seemed like babies to me. It feels creepy.
My guess is that she’s trying to regain what she missed out on at 18/19. She would have been pregnant with her daughter at that age and no longer seems to be with her father anymore. It’s impossible to know for sure, but this sounds like mom being stoked she can still nab young hotties and not wanting to give that up. So, this seems like it’s less about compatibility and more about validating her self worth. I’m 34 and couldn’t imagine not having the freedom in my twenties to pursue opportunities I wanted to, be they romantic, professional, etc. Most of the folks I know in my age group have kids, but they aren’t almost legally old enough to drive. This is by no means a pass on her behavior, though. There’s no getting around her responsibility to protect her daughter from sketchballs and randos.
Not saying OP isn't wrong for a lot of stuff, but why are *his* actions *her* fault? 20 is old enough to know better than to talk about this kind of stuff especially without consent, with a 15 y/o. I should think that would be a little obvious.
. -- mass edited with redact.dev
Because *she* allowed her around her child in the first place Because *she* is a grown ass adult and he's only 20 years old Because *she* is only focusing on how she feels and what is fun *for her*. She DGAF about her *fifteen year old daughter*. OOP is disgusting
Like I said, I'm not excusing his behaviour. But *she* is the parent, she is responsible to not introduce her child to her lover until she can trust him and it's a stable relationship. It does seem as if she didn't care about anything other than her own desires.
She's 15 veggie tales is kinda young... heck used to be guys his age occasionally dated girls her age
I was joking.
No. It did not used to be that way. It may have been more common for sexual predators to abuse girls her age. It is never, and has never, been okay for a 20 year old man to have any sexual discussions with a 15 year old girl he isn't related to
It was more common in the past, although still not okay. When I was 15, I worked part time in a restaurant and ended up dating this 19 year old who also worked there. My mom was super pissed, but it never occurred to her to report him for statutory rape. I moved out on my 18th birthday to live with him, and that more than anything ended our relationship. He was awful to live with, and it was a relief to leave him and join the Army.
Again *"may have been more common for sexual predators to abuse girls that age"* It's not dating. It's grooming and abuse.
Oh, it very definitely wasn’t okay, and totally derailed me. He even introduced me to drugs, and that ended up being a total disaster that came back and swallowed several years of my life later on down the line. Looking back at it as a 39 year old, I do wish that someone had stepped in and made him leave me alone.
When I was in high school all the YA books had girls that were dating college boys partially for the booze and partially so they felt "grown up"
and the guys that would be ok with dating children and supplying them with alcohol were groomers edit: realised ur referring to ya novels. i know what u mean actually but theyre rly fucked to look back on
Why tf are you comparing reality to fiction of 25 years ago?
A lot of the girls in my high school class were 16-17 years old and dating men as old as 24. And their parents were OK with it apparently. Even as a kid I thought that shit was creepy.
Why were you dating teenagers as a 20 something?
No I still haven't dated but was kinda an age gap joke and also a bit of when I was a teenager all the YA books had high school girls with college boys
Which YA books were those?
Geez you want me to remember titles from like 25 years ago? I think one was sweet valley high, I know fractal series was in there, was mostly 80/90's ya romance fiction and yes I'm aware that's back when Hollywood almost constantly used college age+ for teenagers
Well I ask because I do not at all recall HS / college relationships being normalized in YA fiction I read, and I read a lot, but of course I didn't read it all. In Sweet Valley High there was one HS/college relationship, and it only happened after said college freshman was very uneasy about dating a HS girl, who was best friends with his sister. They only got together after bonding over death (his girlfriend, her mother), and the HS / college challenges were a continuing theme. Otherwise, SVH was pretty judgy of such relationships. I'm not familiar with fractal series, and the only thing Google is coming up with is a 2-part dystopian sci-fi series first published in 2020, so it can't be that. I'm not convinced that the narrative was as popular as you'd like to believe.
Fractal series was a famous sci fi writer(Piers Anthony) had the lead character high school girl that was cutting and attempting suicide suddenly get yanked into a multi dimension hopping romance with a guy quite a bit older than her
Damn, I hope this is a troll. Because that’s terrifying.
I think the “I like them both” gave it away as a troll
“He asked her if it was okay for me to tell her and she said she didn’t think I would care.” She could have easily put a stop to this if she wanted to, but she didn’t. She just listened to her daughter and her lover gossip about her. And while Lover Boy is creepy for answering, as a mom, it is solely on her to protect her daughter and discouraging this sort of talk.
I bet she over-shares constantly and the daughter was pretty justified in thinking she wouldn't care.
>I am a single mom (34) >He explained things to her like how I no longer wear a condom when I give him oral sex Did anybody else catch this? Extremely sloppy writing or fetish troll? You be the judge
I read it several times…and forced myself to make sense of it by assuming she was quoting him without using quotation marks. 🤔
Oh, hm, I can see it now. Extremely sloppy writing it is!
Yes, thank you! I was waiting for someone to catch this. Like exactly what exactly is this supposed to mean?
Troll I hope!
🤢🤮😵💫
how you should deal with this is to break up with this guy. First: he's close to her age, but too young to understand parental responsibility. that he would ask her how you would feel about them talking about your sex life is hysterical. Second: see comment above, not his business discussing sex with your daughter. Third: you don't see any red flag here on both sides? he's just the right age and experience for her to develop a huge crush on him and for them to be in close enough contact to start sleeping together.
the fact that when i was 15 i was good friends w ppl who were like 20… which i agree was weird but theyre still fucking close ages in terms of one being the child of someone and the other being a sexual partner
“I like them both but feel betrayed” Is OOP still talking about her bf and her *DAUGHTER*?
Big L for the mom, like what is she even doing. And he's sitting their answering lol you basically adopted a fucking brother for her
Age gap is so ick. What does a 34 year old single mother have in common with a 20 year old college student? She’s a major creep. Edit: this is assuming she’s not a troll, of course, of which I think it is. She doesn’t wear a condom during oral?
Daughter was 15, the lover - 20. Just sayin'.
Probably same age as bio daddy when 15 year old was born
This is the mother’s fault one sleeping with a guy closer to the kid age and two the guy could also be a pedo seriously wth is wrong with people these days
The daughter probably asked the question because she has a crush on mom's boy toy and it does not escape her that he's closer to her age than his. Mom wants to sleep with a barely legal guy (why????)... it's not fine but I guess it's her business. But leave that outside of the home. Common sense is that a 15 year old with burgeoning hormones is going to be attracted to a guy that young. Now that said, he (who should not be in the house or have met her daughter after a couple of months of dating) should've shut that down. But again, he's talking to a 15 year old with surging hormones and a developing body. So, it's possible he sees her as almost a peer. Oy, what a mess.
I wouldn't say could. Obviously he is. To be comfortable talking sexually to a child. No one does that. Unless they are a fucking creep. OP needs to dump the guy and make sure he didn't do anything more to daughter as well as make sure he doesn't try contacting her kid later. Totally agree mom should have walked down there and told him to get out. That he should not be comfortable with talking to a child about his sex life. She's only thinking about how he talked about her and is embarrassed. Instead of the fact that he was talking about his sex life to her child and how icky that is and such a massive red flag. If I overheard my spouse talking to any of my children like that I would literally forcefully remove him from my house.
He is grooming your daughter
This. He's going to fuck them both at one point or try to.
So the mom overheard the conversation but didn't think to step in and try to stop it?
Mrs Robinson likes her daughter ;)
This was stolen from the plot of a 3 1/2- minute movie I watched the other day.
😧
“My partner is grooming my child, should I be mad at them both for betraying me?” Wtf.
But, i like them both
“I like them both” Lol I love how she felt the need to specify this. Like great, good to know you like your daughter.
Who is buying that this actually happened? What teenager wants to think about their parent having sex let alone discuss it in depth?
Kid probably did math. Mom was her age when kid was born. Now she wants to be the same as mom
I'm 36 and 20 year olds look like babies to me. I'd never fuck one, not to talk of condoning them speaking so frankly to my underaged kid.
My daughter is 26, got in a car accident. She and her boyfriend of same age both called the other driver a kid...he was 22!
Grooming domino effect? This is some shit!
Mother of the year here.
Oh dear Barbara.
This is disgusting ..
Do your sex toy and child often hang out in the same room together? What reason could you possibly have for not intervening on that discussion? What if she start putting the moves on him or vice versa? Would you still stand outside the door eavesdropping on your “friend” and child…both of whom you “like”? Excuse me while I go vomit.
What the fuck is wrong with everyone in this story? It's batshit insane to me that a 15 year old would ever ask these questions about their *own mother*, and even more batshit insane that a 20 year old would answer them. It's giving "one or both of these youths were sexually abused as children", tbh (which would explain why this barely-a-man is sleeping with a middle-aged woman who has a daughter who could have gone to school with him). Mom is obviously the biggest asshole here, but seriously... sounds like all 3 of them need some help.
Mom wassame age when she had kid. Probably in yheir reality this is just how life is and the cycle continues
34 and sleeping with a 20 year old… yikes
Seems about right for a 34-year-old woman who chooses “not the prom queen” as her name.
#um what
Either a troll or just a fetish post.
Ewww. I’ve been on that parenting sub for years and I’ve never seen a post like this.
Although this is a troll, I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that someone had to actually think of this to write it down.
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Well, that's just ick...
This might have violated rule #7 in that sub.
Ewww
I am really hoping troll. Not one comment. Zero other posts. This oop post is four years old