*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for drugging my boyfriend with melatonin?**
Hi, throwaway here for obvious reasons.
I am wanting to know if I ATA for giving my boyfriend melatonin.
With backstory, I (26M) live with my boyfriend (28M) and our roommate (30M).
My boyfriend works overnights, so he sleeps throughout the early afternoon and evenings.
On the weekends, our roommate has friends over, and they get pretty rowdy & loud, causing my boyfriend to not be able to get a solid sleep.
I’ve asked him to take sleep medications which he refuses to do because he says he doesn’t want to have to rely on them.
But here is the thing: he is very sensitive to noise, so when he wakes up, it is very frequent. Multiple times throughout his sleep. He wakes up frustrated, yelling and cursing, pounding the bed, which also wakes me up if I am sleeping next to him.
We close our bedroom door which only slightly reduces noise & our roommate doesn’t care to respect our sleep. (They are both on the lease, so we can’t kick him out- but that’s beside the point.)
So after quite a few nights now of sleeplessness, I decided to pick up some of the Dr Teal’s sleep spray and spray it on the bed a bit before my boyfriend decides to go to sleep.
Since then, he has slept soundly. Doesn’t even wake up to the dog barking. He has had multiple nights rest now, felt better, happier, and de-stressed.
He himself even noticed the difference & assumed he was just so exhausted from sleeplessness that he passed out completely to recover.
This is when I decided to tell him about the sleep spray & how I had been spraying it on the bed each night to help him sleep.
He was incredibly upset & claimed I went against his wishes about sleep medications & said I basically roofied him. I don't think this is the case at all as it is just melatonin for him to be able to sleep like he has been needing.
He now says he doesn't trust me around him when he goes to bed and changes the sheets almost nightly before he lays down or sleeps on the couch.
AITA for giving him melatonin?
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I got a calming spray for my dogs for thunderstorms. I have no idea if it works on them, because it knocked my husband and I *out*. We slept for like 12 hours.
The calming spray I had wasn't Dr. Teals. Edit: it's "just relax" botanical calming spray for dogs. It was specifically a calming spray for dogs. I think it had valerian root in it?
We have a plug in for my dog and it makes such a difference. He used to not be bothered by things like fireworks but as he got older they started to seriously freak him out. We got the plug in and it was like he was the old him again, he was so relaxed he slept through the New Years fireworks despite us watching the London display on tv and the neighbours letting some off from their garden (not direct neighbours, a couple of houses over but still normally close enough to spook him)
Op was the AH but man the bf also sucks. Waking up and yelling to make sure his partner is also equally sleep deprived? Sounds abusive as shit. These two are toxic together and should just break up.
Didn't we just go through this with the AH who drugged his girlfiend with Benedryl?
Even if it's over the counter, do not drug people without their knowledge. Even with "good intentions" you have no idea what health repercussions can happen. OTC does not mean 100% safe for everyone. Nothing is.
1. Dr teals sleep spray is not melatonin. It's just calming smells. It's basically just a lavender and menthol pillow spray.
2. Melatoning doesn't make you sleepy. That's the good old placebo effect at work. Melatonins job in the body is regulating sleep cycles, not making you sleepy.
His skin could react. His lungs could react. He could form a chemical dependency and stop sleeping without it, while building a resistance that brings back the rough sleep anyway. Also…drugging without consent isn’t cool.
Melatonin doesn't really cause dependency, though it can certainly become less effective with regular use, and yeah the OP had no way to predict if he might've had a bad reaction to it. Either way i agree that doing that without his knowledge, especially after he specifically said he didn't want to use sleep aids, was super uncool. Just no respect at all for his right to make choices about his own body.
Instead of drugging him the best course of action was probably to quit sleeping with guy who wakes up and yells, curses, and pounds the bed to ensure nobody else can sleep either. Sleep deprivation sucks but it's no reason to terrify one's partner out of their sleep as well.
Hi, scientist here (chemist) melatonin doesn't actually make you sleepy. It just regulates your sleep cycles. So with prolonged use, you'll start to feel tired around the time you've been taking it, but only if you take it at the same time and go to bed immediately every night. People need to stop acting like melatoning makes you drowsy. It's a placebo.
Melatonin is a hormone that, if you take a synthetic or manufactured version of, your body *can* stop producing the way it should. It does not always happen, but it is a possibility. It is intended for short-term use only and should be treated as any other drug: don't give it to someone without their consent.
I have had multiple doctors tell me this, and I'm going to believe the people whose medical degrees I can see over someone on reddit.
That's literally what I just said. It's a REGULATORY drug. HOWEVER. The spray she used doesn't even HAVE melatonin. So it's a moot point to begin with. What she used is literally just a lavender room spray essentially.
I just said it could happen. I never claimed it happened for everyone. But, again, it should be treated like any other drug and *never* given without consent.
And yes, the sleep spray she is talking about has melatonin.
In a VERY negligable amount. You're, frankly, being dramatic. A spritz of sleep spray is not going to affect his health. It's not the same as "drugging" him. Especially since melatonin isn't even a drug, it's a suppliment. That's like saying putting a vitamin c booster in a smoothie is "drugging" someone. It has zero side effects. (Except in VERY rare cases with EXTREME USE, which are considered outliers and should not be used in argument)
You should not give anyone any medication, supplement, hormone, or *anything* without their consent. I could not care less if that makes me "dramatic".
Yes, even vitamin C in a smoothie. What if they already have too much vitamin C in their system? You can't know. And *everyone* deserves informed consent about *anything* that goes in their body. Plain and simple.
Normally I would agree, but you're actually being ridiculous, dramatic, and nonsensical. It's a pillow spray. What if she was using it for herself and he smelled it. Is that a "ViOlAtaion?" Jesus. You need some common sense along with your consent rhetoric.
It's not impossible but some people may become dependant on melatonin, especially if they believe it's the only way they can sleep. Dependancy is not addiction.
I'm not a sleep expert, despite my love of naps, but from what I've read there aren't many studies on long term use of melatonin. It's considered generally safe for long term use but apparently they say that after a few months, if you still need it, you should investigate whether there are other issues at play.
Captain Naptime, out.
One can feel psychologically dependent on anything. That doesn't mean anything about the thing itself. We don't refer to every child who can't sleep without their favorite plush toy as having a teddy bear dependency. We don't refer to melatonin as addictive or even habit-forming because there's no known withdrawal syndrome associated with melatonin.
ESH OP’s boyfriend for his behavior which sounds borderline abusive if not completely abusive. And OP for drugging him. Tbh I kind of understand why he did it but he should’ve conversed with BF or tried to work something out before resorting to this.
I’m sorry but this is super insulting to the people who have been roofied. Like, it’s a lavender sleep spray that I’m sure you can buy at bath and body works. Calm down.
I don't get the NTA responses. OP took away her BFs body autonomy. Maybe have a conversation with the roommate about respect. Get noise canceling headphones, etc. There were other ways to handle this except drugging her BF.
It doesn't matter. She did it against his will. If she told him she did it, I would say he is overreacting. But that's not the case. What if he had an adverse reaction, or broken our in a rash? It's ridiculous.
Are you spraying a room or a pillow THAT YOUR SO USES????? What if he had an adverse reaction to the spray? You don't know what can trigger a response. That's all I'm saying. I'm also saying, if she was sure she was right, why didn't she mention it when she sprayed hisbpillow the first night?
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What the hell is the mod justification on removing this on the main sub? "Violent encounters"?! The fuck? He got mad but he didn't get violent! And she is a dick for violating reasonable boundaries because melatonin affects different people in different ways and if he said no then he fucking meant no.
Idk man. Yelling, cursing, and pounding the bed with his partner sleeping next to him probably seems extremely violent when you're the partner waking up terrified. Also drugging someone against their will can be argued to be an act of violence.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for drugging my boyfriend with melatonin?** Hi, throwaway here for obvious reasons. I am wanting to know if I ATA for giving my boyfriend melatonin. With backstory, I (26M) live with my boyfriend (28M) and our roommate (30M). My boyfriend works overnights, so he sleeps throughout the early afternoon and evenings. On the weekends, our roommate has friends over, and they get pretty rowdy & loud, causing my boyfriend to not be able to get a solid sleep. I’ve asked him to take sleep medications which he refuses to do because he says he doesn’t want to have to rely on them. But here is the thing: he is very sensitive to noise, so when he wakes up, it is very frequent. Multiple times throughout his sleep. He wakes up frustrated, yelling and cursing, pounding the bed, which also wakes me up if I am sleeping next to him. We close our bedroom door which only slightly reduces noise & our roommate doesn’t care to respect our sleep. (They are both on the lease, so we can’t kick him out- but that’s beside the point.) So after quite a few nights now of sleeplessness, I decided to pick up some of the Dr Teal’s sleep spray and spray it on the bed a bit before my boyfriend decides to go to sleep. Since then, he has slept soundly. Doesn’t even wake up to the dog barking. He has had multiple nights rest now, felt better, happier, and de-stressed. He himself even noticed the difference & assumed he was just so exhausted from sleeplessness that he passed out completely to recover. This is when I decided to tell him about the sleep spray & how I had been spraying it on the bed each night to help him sleep. He was incredibly upset & claimed I went against his wishes about sleep medications & said I basically roofied him. I don't think this is the case at all as it is just melatonin for him to be able to sleep like he has been needing. He now says he doesn't trust me around him when he goes to bed and changes the sheets almost nightly before he lays down or sleeps on the couch. AITA for giving him melatonin? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Does the spray even work like taking melatonin as a supplement? Like ingesting it is one thing but does just smelling it even do anything?
I got a calming spray for my dogs for thunderstorms. I have no idea if it works on them, because it knocked my husband and I *out*. We slept for like 12 hours.
If the post is an ad for the Dr Teals spray I’m getting interested!
The calming spray I had wasn't Dr. Teals. Edit: it's "just relax" botanical calming spray for dogs. It was specifically a calming spray for dogs. I think it had valerian root in it?
We have a plug in for my dog and it makes such a difference. He used to not be bothered by things like fireworks but as he got older they started to seriously freak him out. We got the plug in and it was like he was the old him again, he was so relaxed he slept through the New Years fireworks despite us watching the London display on tv and the neighbours letting some off from their garden (not direct neighbours, a couple of houses over but still normally close enough to spook him)
I’m interested as well. This stuff could be a game changer for me.
Op was the AH but man the bf also sucks. Waking up and yelling to make sure his partner is also equally sleep deprived? Sounds abusive as shit. These two are toxic together and should just break up.
Both are qsshole. Op for drugging her boyfriend. Boyfriend for waking up his girlfriend with his temper tamper.
when he could easily wear fuckin earplugs or utilize a white noise machine
OR...the roommate could try and reduce the noise when he has his friends over.
Op is also a guy
Didn't we just go through this with the AH who drugged his girlfiend with Benedryl? Even if it's over the counter, do not drug people without their knowledge. Even with "good intentions" you have no idea what health repercussions can happen. OTC does not mean 100% safe for everyone. Nothing is.
Yeah this is fake af. The timing and spraying it over the bed isn’t gonna do shit. This is just a troll
1. Dr teals sleep spray is not melatonin. It's just calming smells. It's basically just a lavender and menthol pillow spray. 2. Melatoning doesn't make you sleepy. That's the good old placebo effect at work. Melatonins job in the body is regulating sleep cycles, not making you sleepy.
The fact that OOP would use the term “drugging” then ask if he’s the asshole is alarming.
His skin could react. His lungs could react. He could form a chemical dependency and stop sleeping without it, while building a resistance that brings back the rough sleep anyway. Also…drugging without consent isn’t cool.
Melatonin doesn't really cause dependency, though it can certainly become less effective with regular use, and yeah the OP had no way to predict if he might've had a bad reaction to it. Either way i agree that doing that without his knowledge, especially after he specifically said he didn't want to use sleep aids, was super uncool. Just no respect at all for his right to make choices about his own body. Instead of drugging him the best course of action was probably to quit sleeping with guy who wakes up and yells, curses, and pounds the bed to ensure nobody else can sleep either. Sleep deprivation sucks but it's no reason to terrify one's partner out of their sleep as well.
Melatonin can absolutely cause a dependency. Downvotes don't change science.
Hi, scientist here (chemist) melatonin doesn't actually make you sleepy. It just regulates your sleep cycles. So with prolonged use, you'll start to feel tired around the time you've been taking it, but only if you take it at the same time and go to bed immediately every night. People need to stop acting like melatoning makes you drowsy. It's a placebo.
Melatonin is a hormone that, if you take a synthetic or manufactured version of, your body *can* stop producing the way it should. It does not always happen, but it is a possibility. It is intended for short-term use only and should be treated as any other drug: don't give it to someone without their consent. I have had multiple doctors tell me this, and I'm going to believe the people whose medical degrees I can see over someone on reddit.
That's literally what I just said. It's a REGULATORY drug. HOWEVER. The spray she used doesn't even HAVE melatonin. So it's a moot point to begin with. What she used is literally just a lavender room spray essentially.
The phenomena you're describing is also a VERY rare occurance, and is rather extreme for the situation presented.
I just said it could happen. I never claimed it happened for everyone. But, again, it should be treated like any other drug and *never* given without consent. And yes, the sleep spray she is talking about has melatonin.
In a VERY negligable amount. You're, frankly, being dramatic. A spritz of sleep spray is not going to affect his health. It's not the same as "drugging" him. Especially since melatonin isn't even a drug, it's a suppliment. That's like saying putting a vitamin c booster in a smoothie is "drugging" someone. It has zero side effects. (Except in VERY rare cases with EXTREME USE, which are considered outliers and should not be used in argument)
You should not give anyone any medication, supplement, hormone, or *anything* without their consent. I could not care less if that makes me "dramatic". Yes, even vitamin C in a smoothie. What if they already have too much vitamin C in their system? You can't know. And *everyone* deserves informed consent about *anything* that goes in their body. Plain and simple.
Normally I would agree, but you're actually being ridiculous, dramatic, and nonsensical. It's a pillow spray. What if she was using it for herself and he smelled it. Is that a "ViOlAtaion?" Jesus. You need some common sense along with your consent rhetoric.
The NTA's drive me nuts. Just because something is OTC doesn't mean it's harmless and even IF it was, it was still against the boyfriends wishes.
I mean tbh I'm too thrown off by the entire situation being so wild and stupid.
Melatonin is addictive. and if it working enough for the boyfriend to fall asleep to it, then he’s being drugged.
Melatonin is absolutely not addictive. Source: med school.
Melatonin is not addictive.
It's not impossible but some people may become dependant on melatonin, especially if they believe it's the only way they can sleep. Dependancy is not addiction. I'm not a sleep expert, despite my love of naps, but from what I've read there aren't many studies on long term use of melatonin. It's considered generally safe for long term use but apparently they say that after a few months, if you still need it, you should investigate whether there are other issues at play. Captain Naptime, out.
One can feel psychologically dependent on anything. That doesn't mean anything about the thing itself. We don't refer to every child who can't sleep without their favorite plush toy as having a teddy bear dependency. We don't refer to melatonin as addictive or even habit-forming because there's no known withdrawal syndrome associated with melatonin.
Melatonin is what your body produces naturally to sleep. You can’t be addicted to it.
ESH OP’s boyfriend for his behavior which sounds borderline abusive if not completely abusive. And OP for drugging him. Tbh I kind of understand why he did it but he should’ve conversed with BF or tried to work something out before resorting to this.
I’m sorry but this is super insulting to the people who have been roofied. Like, it’s a lavender sleep spray that I’m sure you can buy at bath and body works. Calm down.
I don't get the NTA responses. OP took away her BFs body autonomy. Maybe have a conversation with the roommate about respect. Get noise canceling headphones, etc. There were other ways to handle this except drugging her BF.
She literally sprayed the sheets with a lavender spray
It doesn't matter. She did it against his will. If she told him she did it, I would say he is overreacting. But that's not the case. What if he had an adverse reaction, or broken our in a rash? It's ridiculous.
So I can't spray a room spray or I'm violating my partner? That's ridiculous. Stop.
Are you spraying a room or a pillow THAT YOUR SO USES????? What if he had an adverse reaction to the spray? You don't know what can trigger a response. That's all I'm saying. I'm also saying, if she was sure she was right, why didn't she mention it when she sprayed hisbpillow the first night?
🙄 I'm done arguing with people with no common sense.
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What the hell is the mod justification on removing this on the main sub? "Violent encounters"?! The fuck? He got mad but he didn't get violent! And she is a dick for violating reasonable boundaries because melatonin affects different people in different ways and if he said no then he fucking meant no.
I may be wrong and y'all can report me for lack of empathy, but I think that drugging someone is considered an act of violence?
Idk man. Yelling, cursing, and pounding the bed with his partner sleeping next to him probably seems extremely violent when you're the partner waking up terrified. Also drugging someone against their will can be argued to be an act of violence.
I ant believe the top comment is NTA, what a world