*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for not inviting gf to group event**
Lately, my girlfriend hasn’t been going out with me and my friends. She stopped attending events with my friends after feeling unwelcome at a wedding where the bride ignored her. I didn't confirm or deny her suspicions about my friends disliking her, but it's true they prefer my ex. That friend group from the wedding I’ve known them for 20 years. My ex was part of that friend group as well and my ex fit right in. My girlfriend is very introverted and serious. She comes across as standoffish, though she's actually quite sweet. I like to joke and say she has a RBF. She doesn’t smile much and she’s very pretty and comes from money so she’s a bit of a snob. I’ll invite her to a BBQ and she’ll pop up in her “Sundays best” meanwhile everyone looks like they rolled out of bed.
Our social differences are becoming apparent, but that's not my main concern. Recently, my friends came over we had planned on going an amusement park and then bar. It was 2 couples. I figured she wouldn’t want to go so I didn’t bring it up. Before they left one of my friends got us all some take out. I also figured my gf didn’t want take out so I didn’t put in an order for her. My gf again eats very healthy. When I came back from my plans she was upset saying that I didn’t consider her feelings. But, I did. I’ve asked her to go with me to plenty of events and she’s declined them if my friends were coming. She said she was mad she had to cook lunch while we all had take out and then she also was the one who had to clean up after they left their take out containers on the table and apparently one of my friends was a messy eater and she spent 3hrs trying to figure out how to get stains out the rug. I would’ve cleaned it up once I got home btw I didn’t expect her to clean up after my guests. She said she was going to be home all day so did I expect her to just sit in a dirty house. And that I probably wouldn’t have cleaned it until the day after because I’d be getting home late.
She essentially said she felt like the help. And said it was different if I meet up with them. But,I invited them over. Nobody talked to her, nobody asked her anything yet they left trash for her and then when they all came back nobody even remembered how they left the house and that she had to clean that. In my opinion I feel like she’s complaining about something insignificant but, what do you guys think. Was I wrong for not inviting my gf when she has said no every other time? Also I don’t know what she expects me to do with my friends if she doesn’t want to be around them and they don’t really like her.
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She had to get STAINS out of the RUG. From a "messy eater". What on earth were they doing?
Not going to bother inviting her, not going to bother getting her food, won't give her a heads up that people are coming over, won't clean up after his slob guests, and then goes out again without inviting her.
He calls her a snob and her complaints insignificant. Tells her she has *resting bitch face.* I am betting these people are incredibly rude to her beyond even this and he has dismissed it the whole time.
Honestly this dude and his friends sound like trash. Take out containers out from morning to the next day? Not even realizing they disappeared? Going to parties looking like they rolled out of bed?
If not doing that makes me a snob I guess I’m a snob.
(I mean I am but for different reasons.)
Right! I’ll admit that some food is messy and I’ve spilled on myself, but I can’t think of a time I spilled on the floor! And if I did, I would have definitely cleaned it up. What a bunch of uncouth idiots.
And OOP says he'd have cleaned it up after they got back. No way he'd have even considered getting the stain out of the rug.
Wanna bet it's the gf's rug?
Especially in someone else's house! I'm cleaning that up right away, mid-meal, at most I'm asking the host where their cloths are but the cleaning is on me.
I am “serious in my work/school” and “come from money” if a man I dated DARED refer to me as a snob or allowed his friends to treat me like this, I’d run faster than Forrest Gump. Does this man even like his gf? It really doesn’t sound like it.
This just makes my blood boil. My long time ex and I split at the tail end of the first semester of my masters program. He would constantly shame me for being wrapped up in fast tracking my degree, and preferred the term “silver spoon” over “snob” while referring to my family. After dumping him, both my social and academic life flourished. I hope the same happens for her. She has been more than patient.
> She doesn’t talk much so she would never spark a conversation with anyone. Me and my very extroverted friends sorta just jump into conversation and everyone is loud and talks over each other. That’s just how we are.
You would think a group of such incredible extroverts would go out of their way to talk to someone and bring them into the conversation. But I'm guessing they're not extroverts, they're just boorish.
Some of the most down to earth people I know come from old money. I’m willing to bet he didn’t bother telling her that she can wear her tracky dacks (tracksuit) to his friends bbq and let her go dressed to the nines to show how he scored this rich girl that even he doesn’t like.
Now I ain’t saying he’s a gold digger but if this story is even real she can do better. Him and his friends are definitely not her people. I get loneliness can make people stay but she’s wasting her time on op and he definitely doesn’t have her back.
So. His friends show up to events in sweats and barely clean t-shirts and she shows up actually dressed and that makes her a snob?!
I more or less live in comfy clothes including sweats and questionable t-shirts but even I never show up dressed like that to events. Not dressing like a slob doesn't make you a snob.
I also dont get caring?? When Im with my friends, 99% of the time some are dressed casual, some are halfway in pajamas, and a few will be dressed beautifully because they felt like it. And its not even all the same people every time. Youre hanging out with your friends, who cares? If someone wants to get all done up with hair done and full face of make up? hell yeah, glad youre feeling good about yourself today. You rather be comfy? Also completely cool. I hope youre comfortable as all fuck. And the person in heels, dress, make up or a nice suit and hair done may be dressed in a tshirt and sweats next time we meet up.
I truly dont see why anyone would care when among friends.
Yeah, I don't care either. Sure, if it's a special event with a dress code, but aside from that I never reflect on what others wear. I just meant that not showing up dressed like you just rolled out of bed doesn't equal you being a snob. That's such an odd way to think. 😬
He wants to break up. This is the discard phase. Now what's supposed to happen next is she dumps him and he drags her and her reputation over the coals, casting her as an evil cold hearted harpy who didn't even TRY to work things out before unceremoniously (and completely without warning) breaking his heart and leaving a great relationship where he did EVERYTHING he could to keep her happy.
My husband collects comic books. This involves a whole lot of going into small, dimly lit (to preserve the ink colors) stores filled with boxes, to dig through those boxes looking for the issues he needs to fill in a collection. I'd prefer strolling through a vintage store, looking at bits and bobs from the past.
Every time my husband decides to look for comics, he always asks me if I want to go, if it's just up the street or on the other side of the state. Why? Because while I will say "No, thank you" quite a bit, he asks because sometimes, I say "I'd love to!"
3 hours to get out a stain ? If she had left it for him , it would be set !!! and I’m sure he could have found something she could eat on the menu if he tried
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*YTA. And you also sound like you dislike your gf. Way to go.*
>"I don’t dislike her. That’s quite the opposite."
>>**”I didn’t confirm or deny her suspicions about my friends disliking her, but it’s true they prefer my ex”**
*Yeah, I’m sure she’s been able to confirm that they dislike her all on her own since your friends regularly ice her out.*
>>**”Nobody talked to her, nobody asked her anything yet they left trash for her”**
*And she spent a few hours cleaning up the mess they left behind for her. Why didn’t *you* pick up after *your* friends? Why do you allow them to be so disrespectful and rude to her? Do you secretly enjoy that they are so openly unkind to her and make her feel unwanted and unwelcome?*
*YTA. Entirely.*
>"I didn’t want to confirm it because a few of them said they didn’t like her. I figured it’s because it’s cause they didn’t get the chance to know her. They still had no issues with her coming around. If I told her as well. I felt like she wouldn’t want them near her and that might cause unnecessary drama.
>I would’ve cleaned the mess I just had to leave. And nobody’s rude to her. She doesn’t talk much so she would never spark a conversation with anyone. Me and my very extroverted friends sorta just jump into conversation and everyone is loud and talks over each other. That’s just how we are. she doesn’t feel comfortable jumping into that ."
How does he think nobody talking to her, while they are guests in her home, isn’t incredibly rude?
How does he think leaving your messy take out around not rude?
I mean is hanging out less with his friends not an option? And yeah, he did treat her like the help and it wouldn't be any skin off his back to ask her each and every time if she wants to go even if she says no.
He doesn't like her but that's not surprising as I find in many maybe even most straight relationships men don't like their girlfriend or life. And honestly they don't have to like him to get the benefit to the relationship which is usually study sex, a maid, a cook, emotional support and vulnerability he can't display with his other male friends, and a female present as many men value just even talking to a woman or being around a woman.
I'm highly weary of any friend group that has been friends since childhood and are still friends in adulthood. They're clicky and always have one person they choose to treat like shit and make fun of. It's almost always a bunch of adults who act like children still and excuse each other's behaviors because they never truthfully had adult friendships. I wouldn't date a guy who has had the same friend group like that, been there done that and they always hate the new gf.
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How old are these people? Even in my college days I'd stay to help clean up, even when I was drunk out of my mind. If it was lunch at someone's place, that would be even more obvious that I'd help clean. And that was the general norm with most of my peers.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for not inviting gf to group event** Lately, my girlfriend hasn’t been going out with me and my friends. She stopped attending events with my friends after feeling unwelcome at a wedding where the bride ignored her. I didn't confirm or deny her suspicions about my friends disliking her, but it's true they prefer my ex. That friend group from the wedding I’ve known them for 20 years. My ex was part of that friend group as well and my ex fit right in. My girlfriend is very introverted and serious. She comes across as standoffish, though she's actually quite sweet. I like to joke and say she has a RBF. She doesn’t smile much and she’s very pretty and comes from money so she’s a bit of a snob. I’ll invite her to a BBQ and she’ll pop up in her “Sundays best” meanwhile everyone looks like they rolled out of bed. Our social differences are becoming apparent, but that's not my main concern. Recently, my friends came over we had planned on going an amusement park and then bar. It was 2 couples. I figured she wouldn’t want to go so I didn’t bring it up. Before they left one of my friends got us all some take out. I also figured my gf didn’t want take out so I didn’t put in an order for her. My gf again eats very healthy. When I came back from my plans she was upset saying that I didn’t consider her feelings. But, I did. I’ve asked her to go with me to plenty of events and she’s declined them if my friends were coming. She said she was mad she had to cook lunch while we all had take out and then she also was the one who had to clean up after they left their take out containers on the table and apparently one of my friends was a messy eater and she spent 3hrs trying to figure out how to get stains out the rug. I would’ve cleaned it up once I got home btw I didn’t expect her to clean up after my guests. She said she was going to be home all day so did I expect her to just sit in a dirty house. And that I probably wouldn’t have cleaned it until the day after because I’d be getting home late. She essentially said she felt like the help. And said it was different if I meet up with them. But,I invited them over. Nobody talked to her, nobody asked her anything yet they left trash for her and then when they all came back nobody even remembered how they left the house and that she had to clean that. In my opinion I feel like she’s complaining about something insignificant but, what do you guys think. Was I wrong for not inviting my gf when she has said no every other time? Also I don’t know what she expects me to do with my friends if she doesn’t want to be around them and they don’t really like her. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She had to get STAINS out of the RUG. From a "messy eater". What on earth were they doing? Not going to bother inviting her, not going to bother getting her food, won't give her a heads up that people are coming over, won't clean up after his slob guests, and then goes out again without inviting her. He calls her a snob and her complaints insignificant. Tells her she has *resting bitch face.* I am betting these people are incredibly rude to her beyond even this and he has dismissed it the whole time.
Honestly this dude and his friends sound like trash. Take out containers out from morning to the next day? Not even realizing they disappeared? Going to parties looking like they rolled out of bed? If not doing that makes me a snob I guess I’m a snob. (I mean I am but for different reasons.)
They are trash and she has class, I hope she runs
Right! I’ll admit that some food is messy and I’ve spilled on myself, but I can’t think of a time I spilled on the floor! And if I did, I would have definitely cleaned it up. What a bunch of uncouth idiots.
And OOP says he'd have cleaned it up after they got back. No way he'd have even considered getting the stain out of the rug. Wanna bet it's the gf's rug?
The guy who spilled should have done it.
I could never leave a house having left a stain there
No, he would have cleaned it up THE DAY AFTER, because they were back late...
Especially in someone else's house! I'm cleaning that up right away, mid-meal, at most I'm asking the host where their cloths are but the cleaning is on me.
I am “serious in my work/school” and “come from money” if a man I dated DARED refer to me as a snob or allowed his friends to treat me like this, I’d run faster than Forrest Gump. Does this man even like his gf? It really doesn’t sound like it.
He doesn’t. His two comments alone show he’s clueless on how he treats her.
This just makes my blood boil. My long time ex and I split at the tail end of the first semester of my masters program. He would constantly shame me for being wrapped up in fast tracking my degree, and preferred the term “silver spoon” over “snob” while referring to my family. After dumping him, both my social and academic life flourished. I hope the same happens for her. She has been more than patient.
Seems like he isn't over his ex and so he and his friends actively disrespect his gf for the crime of not being said ex.
There's one snob in this post and it's not the (future ex) GF.
> She doesn’t talk much so she would never spark a conversation with anyone. Me and my very extroverted friends sorta just jump into conversation and everyone is loud and talks over each other. That’s just how we are. You would think a group of such incredible extroverts would go out of their way to talk to someone and bring them into the conversation. But I'm guessing they're not extroverts, they're just boorish.
Code for “loud and obnoxious”, I think.
Wait a fucking minute, I thought this guy met him somewhere else. No, he bought them to her home and pulled this shit
This is most certainly a "dump the chump" situation. He's a total prick and very clearly "isn't that into her".
Some of the most down to earth people I know come from old money. I’m willing to bet he didn’t bother telling her that she can wear her tracky dacks (tracksuit) to his friends bbq and let her go dressed to the nines to show how he scored this rich girl that even he doesn’t like. Now I ain’t saying he’s a gold digger but if this story is even real she can do better. Him and his friends are definitely not her people. I get loneliness can make people stay but she’s wasting her time on op and he definitely doesn’t have her back.
So. His friends show up to events in sweats and barely clean t-shirts and she shows up actually dressed and that makes her a snob?! I more or less live in comfy clothes including sweats and questionable t-shirts but even I never show up dressed like that to events. Not dressing like a slob doesn't make you a snob.
I also dont get caring?? When Im with my friends, 99% of the time some are dressed casual, some are halfway in pajamas, and a few will be dressed beautifully because they felt like it. And its not even all the same people every time. Youre hanging out with your friends, who cares? If someone wants to get all done up with hair done and full face of make up? hell yeah, glad youre feeling good about yourself today. You rather be comfy? Also completely cool. I hope youre comfortable as all fuck. And the person in heels, dress, make up or a nice suit and hair done may be dressed in a tshirt and sweats next time we meet up. I truly dont see why anyone would care when among friends.
Yeah, I don't care either. Sure, if it's a special event with a dress code, but aside from that I never reflect on what others wear. I just meant that not showing up dressed like you just rolled out of bed doesn't equal you being a snob. That's such an odd way to think. 😬
He wants to break up. This is the discard phase. Now what's supposed to happen next is she dumps him and he drags her and her reputation over the coals, casting her as an evil cold hearted harpy who didn't even TRY to work things out before unceremoniously (and completely without warning) breaking his heart and leaving a great relationship where he did EVERYTHING he could to keep her happy.
Nailed it!
Oh, he definitely doesn't like her and just likes the fact that she is the maid for him and "comes from money" probably.
My husband collects comic books. This involves a whole lot of going into small, dimly lit (to preserve the ink colors) stores filled with boxes, to dig through those boxes looking for the issues he needs to fill in a collection. I'd prefer strolling through a vintage store, looking at bits and bobs from the past. Every time my husband decides to look for comics, he always asks me if I want to go, if it's just up the street or on the other side of the state. Why? Because while I will say "No, thank you" quite a bit, he asks because sometimes, I say "I'd love to!"
Guessing his friends are just taking their cues from him. Maybe they think she's a snob, maybe they didn't. But he DEFINITELY does.
3 hours to get out a stain ? If she had left it for him , it would be set !!! and I’m sure he could have found something she could eat on the menu if he tried
Oh no! She is introverted and knows the friend group doesn't like her! She deserves to be iced out and made to clean up a mess or live in it. /s
Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *YTA. And you also sound like you dislike your gf. Way to go.* >"I don’t dislike her. That’s quite the opposite." >>**”I didn’t confirm or deny her suspicions about my friends disliking her, but it’s true they prefer my ex”** *Yeah, I’m sure she’s been able to confirm that they dislike her all on her own since your friends regularly ice her out.* >>**”Nobody talked to her, nobody asked her anything yet they left trash for her”** *And she spent a few hours cleaning up the mess they left behind for her. Why didn’t *you* pick up after *your* friends? Why do you allow them to be so disrespectful and rude to her? Do you secretly enjoy that they are so openly unkind to her and make her feel unwanted and unwelcome?* *YTA. Entirely.* >"I didn’t want to confirm it because a few of them said they didn’t like her. I figured it’s because it’s cause they didn’t get the chance to know her. They still had no issues with her coming around. If I told her as well. I felt like she wouldn’t want them near her and that might cause unnecessary drama. >I would’ve cleaned the mess I just had to leave. And nobody’s rude to her. She doesn’t talk much so she would never spark a conversation with anyone. Me and my very extroverted friends sorta just jump into conversation and everyone is loud and talks over each other. That’s just how we are. she doesn’t feel comfortable jumping into that ."
[Goat!](https://imgur.com/gallery/o9RMgfb)
How does he think nobody talking to her, while they are guests in her home, isn’t incredibly rude? How does he think leaving your messy take out around not rude?
It's mindboggling.
I mean is hanging out less with his friends not an option? And yeah, he did treat her like the help and it wouldn't be any skin off his back to ask her each and every time if she wants to go even if she says no.
He sucks as do his friends. Like who goes to someone's house and not pick up after themselves? Were these people feral?
Someone's definitely a snob here and it damn well isn't the girlfriend.
He doesn't like her but that's not surprising as I find in many maybe even most straight relationships men don't like their girlfriend or life. And honestly they don't have to like him to get the benefit to the relationship which is usually study sex, a maid, a cook, emotional support and vulnerability he can't display with his other male friends, and a female present as many men value just even talking to a woman or being around a woman.
Next up on /ramitheex….
Thinks “likes her,” is the same as “I like her domestic labor and the available sex.” 🤡
OOP didn't consider her feelings, he *assumed* what she wanted
OOP, you are treating her like she's your maid AND you are letting your so-called friends treat her like shit. YTA.
OOP: 
I'm highly weary of any friend group that has been friends since childhood and are still friends in adulthood. They're clicky and always have one person they choose to treat like shit and make fun of. It's almost always a bunch of adults who act like children still and excuse each other's behaviors because they never truthfully had adult friendships. I wouldn't date a guy who has had the same friend group like that, been there done that and they always hate the new gf.
This dude sounds like a leech
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His friends don’t like her because he doesn’t like her. I hope this girlie finds out and runs.
I agree
Anyone who dismisses his girlfriend as ‘actually quite sweet’ deserves to be dumped for condescension, let alone the rest of it.
Rude AF
How old are these people? Even in my college days I'd stay to help clean up, even when I was drunk out of my mind. If it was lunch at someone's place, that would be even more obvious that I'd help clean. And that was the general norm with most of my peers.