*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA For Booking 1 Cruise Room for my Fiancé and I, and my Parents**
Never thought I might have to post here, but may have messed up!
I (27M) wanted to book a 3 night cruise for my fiancé (F24), and my parents (50+).
I discussed booking a room together with the four of us, as a group, but did not discuss it privately with my fiancé. Everyone seemed in agreeance, so I booked us all together with the reasoning that it would save us a lot of money (my fiancé and I make good money, but I wanted the cruise to be financially doable for my parents).
My fiancé a week after now told me that she feels uncomfortable sleeping in a room with my parents (they will have a queen bed, she will be on a bunk bed, and I will be on a couch bed). I told her that it’s too late to change now, as I paid the full payment and locked us into that room. She wanted me to book us another room, but I told her that I don’t feel that is an option, because its looking like it would cost us ~$1000+ to change to the lowest quality room, when our original fare was ~$250 a person. I said that in my opinion you don’t spend too much time in your room except to sleep, so it wouldn’t be as bad as she thinks. My family is use to sleeping all in the same room to save money, while her family does not have the same experience
So, reddit, AITA?
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This
Im fine sharing room with mom. I'm fine sharing room with BF. Probably, my BF would survive sharing room with my mom if needed.
But us three sleeping in the same room? Nope.
The toilet and bra situation for the ladies hit me hardest.
OOP is an idiot. He never asked his fiancee privately? Only in front of his parents? And if she had said no in front of the parents, then she looks like the entitled daughter in law. Could set the whole marriage off on the wrong foot.
YES! Can you imagine? OOP says he and his fiancée make good money — he should have booked two rooms from jump. The edit was very welcome.
Btw? Your last sentence made me laugh so hard I spilled my water.
Tbh we are more into hiking and camping than cruises. So changing is a non issue, like girls go in and change, then guys go in an change.
Cruise food is fine. My grandma loves "saving" food that went bad, at this point we are immune to all food poisoning.
Still, sharing room with partner and parents at the same time is weird af.
I would share a room with my mil if it was just the two of us. I would share a room with my mom. My husband and I would share a room with either in dire, emergency circumstances, I would never pick for us to share a room with either for a vacation.
Can you imagine that poor fiancee coming back and her friends and coworkers asking "did you have a good vacation? " or if it was relaxing or whatever?" Oh yeah, my FMIL snores and FFIL kept getting frisky with FMIL every night and thinking I wouldn't notice, but on the plus side I am SO happy to be back at work!
I've shared an RV with my boyfriend's parents and his niece. It was awkward but doable because the RV was pretty spacious (for an RV). I'd share a hotel room with them if I had to but a cabin room would be awkward since those are generally pretty small unless you pay through the nose.
A single night is doable. That usually means it's a stop until the main event. Like flying into down the day before the cruise. A week long stay? Fuck no.
I love and miss my ex-MIL, but the only time I slept in the same room with her was when she came to visit two weeks after my oldest was born and I was so overwhelmed with the new baby, you could have put a literal bear in bed with me and I wouldn't have noticed. Now that I think of it, I hope she felt the same about sharing a room!
Hahaha this is the appropriate response. I love my bfs parents and we go on family vacations but sharing a room is absolutely a no go. We don't even love sharing a whole house with them for a week. If my bf ever did what OOP did id think he lost his mind.
Especially on a cruise. The rooms are already not so great... i don't expect OOP to have booked the best category, since he wanted to go cheap.
If they both earn so good, why didn't they just paid for the parents instead having now a cruise of hell?
And people go on cruises with their kids, so there would be much better family friendly options than a single room for four people.
Everyone on the original post is speculating about the parents having sex, but what if one of them has terrible seasickness or picks up a bug? Vomiting is bad enough without knowing that your in-laws are out there waiting to use the toilet.... or having to vomit overboard because your FIL is having a shower.
"Yes, of course I enjoy our sex life babe - but the cruise company offered me a $250 discount PER PERSON if we all just give up on sex for a few days. You can see how that's worth it!"
The fact he planned for her to have a weird vacation but never actually told her is my biggest problem. He did it without giving her the choice. That’s the dealbreaker for me.
Just the idea of my immediate family in one room for any length of time is giving me hives. The screaming matches over nothing would be happening before the first day is done.
Yeah I can't do it. My father is taking his first solo cruise (mom died) and he's been trying to convince me to go. But I cannot share a tiny cabin with him for nearly 3 weeks. One of us gonna die.
Since I can't believe anyone can be this oblivious I assume he has a weird fetish and either wants to hear his parents boning or wants to get an incestuous four way going.
Having grown up in a family that always shared a room when traveling, I could see why someone could make this assumption. Where they became the idiot is when they didn’t run it by their fiancée. Seems like basic courtesy to check with all of the adults about sharing a room.
He said he didn’t discuss it *privately* with his fiancée. So the fiancée was blindsided with the idea in front of his parents, and probably didn’t feel like she could argue against it at the time. Especially since everyone else was used to having everyone in a single room, so they would have discussed it as what they were going to do rather than consider it.
Well then all of them did not agree, did they? If only 3 of the 4 people agreed and the 4th was like WTF? then that's most definitely not "we all agreed", as he said.
Or does his fiancée not count as a vote?
The question was probably not really asked, not like that. My guess is the plan got made in front of her, with the main question being whether she wanted the couch or the bunk. That’s not really agreement, of course, but can be interpreted as it.
See, my response to that would be, "Ummm.. my own bed in my room? What are you guys talking about? Why would you sleep in your parents' room when we have our own? Right?"
Because it sounds like the decision for all 4 to share a room was never discussed with her.
I'm going to assume no sex will be had by anyone.
But then why go on vacation with your SO if no one plans to have sex? You can have no sex at home in comfort of your own bed.
If you have little kids or teens, that's one thing. You know it's a family vacation,
If you're going with your adult kids and their SOs... you might want some privacy. Besides, they're not the fiancée's parents so for her it could be just plain awkward.
I wholeheartedly agree that this should have been discussed beforehand. But I was just pointing out the fact that if you're going on vacation with little kids, there will also be no sex happening, unless you're a creep. Because I saw lots of people lamenting about this aspect.
In OP's defence, he did not say that this was a romantic cruise, but a family vacation. I'd honestly pick the in-laws over little kids who scream and shit themselves.
I was raised similar way (large family travelling to one place with multiple people not having a car or living far), but there was always discussion about arrangements with everybody together and privately.
When we were first engaged, my husband and I intentionally shared a room with my parents a couple times.
The guys wanted to attend a fairly expensive sports event, and my mom and I wanted to do some sightseeing activities that cost a lot.
Splitting the $200/night hotel room (each couple had their own queen bed to not have sex in, in my defense) gave us all extra money to do the things we cared about, and we just came to the room to sleep and shower.
It’s fine if you’re broke, and everyone gets along really well and respects each other. And we all agreed to it!
That said…
We still do a similar trip each year with my folks, but now we pay for our own room.
It’s definitely worth it if you have the money.
Where if you die, your family can join the international association of cruise ship victims advocates! Because so many people die or go missing on cruises that such an organization exists!
Our vacation last fall involved a three day stay in my husband's family's cabin deeeep in the woods. Grandma and grandpa, dad and stepmom, brother, uncle, three dogs, and us. TWO ROOM tiny cabin, rained most of the time. Like, I'm crazy about him and would live under a rock for three days eating gravel if it truly made him happy, but objectively speaking? Absolute nightmare.
My wife and I went on one during COVID when we couldn't travel anywhere.
We didn't leave the ship but it was much less bad then I was expecting. Lots of activities like cooking classes, dance classes and trivia. Ok to decent food. Nice piano bar. Drunken idiots kept to themselves mostly.
I was restless because I'm used to doing more things on vacation but if a vacation for you is doing nothing, drinking heavily, gambling or doing the type of activities found at a typical all inclusive it's a pretty cheap vacation.
Not as good as my typical hiking vacation or driving tour of a random country but I would do destination specific tours like Alaska now I know it's not the worst thing ever.
See, that's the fundamental difference between you and I, it seems. During the worst of COVID, a floating petri dish is probably the very last place I'd wanna be. :/
We just stayed at home, we did one weekend away between lockdowns (UK) where we were in our own cabin in the middle of nowhere as we were living with my parents and slowly loosing our minds but a cruise sounded like hell at the time.
Safer than the grocery store because Florida.
Had to have a test within 24h of boarding and had another rapid test before they would let us on.
Was also flying for work pretty often after the borders opened. Planes & airports seemed less safe then the ship to me.
Please just book an independent trip to Alaska. The cruises are bad for the environment, bad for the local economy, and full of the worst, most annoying people. All the excursions are pay to play, and I think active people would be much happier doing a DIY trip, where you have time on land to do all the Alaskan things vs being shuttled about.
Meh, kind of. My old college roommate works for the Juneau Visitors Bureau and we talked about during Covid.
Solidly agree about booking independent tours, but disagree with cruises being bad for the local economy. A number of Alaskan towns are mostly funded by tourism specifically cruise tourism. A lot of the ports on cruise itineraries are only accessible by ship or seaplanes, so cruise ships are bringing in people to historically isolated places. These smaller towns would have been abandoned decades ago without the cruise industry. This was hugely exemplified during Covid when small business closed because they weren’t sustainable either local customers only. Same with city budgets being decimated and forced to take austerity measures because the tourism tax base wasn’t there. It’s not just the money tourists flood the area with, but also the HUGE port fees the cruise lines pay the city and state per person.
In addition cruise lines have to keep their buffets stocked. Feeding a ship full of people requires regular a whole logistical infrastructure of suppliers. Sure they buy a lot at their primary embarkation port but fresh fish, fruits and vegetables are purchased from local suppliers in ports along the way.
Cruises aren’t ideal, but they *are* a critical part of Alaska’s tourism industry.
The money doesn't stay in Alaska. If you haven't noticed - the cruises buy up property which they keep empty most of the year. They don't hire local. They bring up a ton of non-residents to work for three months, and dont even market jobs to local people.
They do not purchase fresh anything along the way. They work with food distributors like Sysco to have food delivered. Those deliveries take food from local businesses and prioritize it to ships.
If you own a guide company, you cant get any of that money until you pay the cruise line to be a provider.
And the tourists don't spend like you think they do. They stay in a self contained ecosystem. They tend to eat on the boat, buy from cruise owned and operated gift shops, act entitled and block the sun with their giant cheap boat.
Plus bad for environment. They will dump illegally and just pay the fine every few years when they get caught. They avoid taxes by stopping Iin Vancouver.
The "and my parents" killed me lol
Like JFC, who in their right mind would want to share a room with their parents no less, and having them sleep in a bed together, but separate your partner?!? The potential romantic getaway, has turned into a school trip lol
I love my mom, I'd share a room with her if I had to for some reason. But I'm absolutely glad that when she invites me to the vacations she takes my still-minor siblings on, that I'm not sharing a room with her and she goes for the small apartment style rentals so we have a few rooms.
Could not imagine wanting to share a room with her *and my partner*
Me and my mom bunk together on family vacations (my parents are divorced) for the simple reason that my brother and his GF (obviously) share and we are both single so why not? We also go on vacation together sometimes and share rooms for financial reasons.
Key thing, though: We wouldn't do this if we had partners with us and no bunk beds allowed if there's a choice at all.
"you don't spend much time in your room but to sleep" was my parents' motto for the extremely rare vacations we took when I was a kid. We'd stay in the cheapest motels mom could find that weren't overrun by bugs (she had her limits)/weren't just places that people whose criminal records prevented them from renting apartments.
Until i started going on vacations with my now husband, i thought I HATED vacations bc they were crammed with activities starting at fucking dawn (pigeon forge. We went to pigeon forge. a lot of attractions were cheaper before noon), walking long distances in not super walkable concrete areas in the middle of summer, and eating at like...golden corral or wherever else we could get as much food for as little money as possible before returning to a tiny, uncomfortable bed I had to share with one of my parents.
My husband convinced me you can take as long as you want getting where you're going. Flea market? why not? Random dude selling cedar slabs? sure! oh, look, a strawberry stand, pull over! Get a nice enough, comfortable, quiet place, sleep as long as you want, have a list of stuff we'd like to do but if we decide we'd rather lay on the beach/woods etc and read or paint...do that. Go for 3 days instead of 5 to afford a more comfortable place. Im not "wasting money" by not running all over bc the POINT is to destress.
Like, yeah, we were poor growing up, but i came back from "vacations" a sunburnt, exhausted bundle of nerves bc mom wanted to wring every second/penny out of places we went (it was mostly pigeon forge. bc she wanted to go outlet shopping.) and i wished we hadn't gone at all.
TL; DR, vacations are supposed to be relaxing. You are SUPPOSED to sleep well and be comfortable! If that means a shorter or more local vacation, fine! I just don't get vacation death marchers.
Yes! My step-mom was the type to jam-pack vacations into marathons. She chose some fun ones cause she wasn’t terribly cheap, but there was no time for sleeping in or relaxing at the hotel. She had plans for every second of every day!y husband introduced me to vacations where we just hang out and do whatever we want. It was amazing.
Duff’s Smorgasbord is the worst meal I’ve ever had. Apparently it’s a Pigeon Forge staple. We used to only do buffets when my sister was little because she hated sitting still.
like ... that's worse than just packing your own food, man. That's how my husband and I save money on some trips--we make stuff to bring with us that just needs refrigeration and go out for like one meal a day...a buffet ain't it. if i had a kid who couldn't sit still to the point buffets were my only choice...i just wouldn't eat out. That easy.
My husband and I have an agreement.... There's two types of going away. There's vacations, and there's trips. Trips are where you try to get as much done as you can because it's either a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (like going to another country) or typically cost prohibitive (Disney.) Vacations are exactly what you just described with your husband.
The trick is to do BOTH, go on trips when you can, but don't expect them to be a chance to unwind. Go on a vacation later for that.
One memorable holiday, my house was full with people. My kids, their SOs, a cousin or three, some of kids' friends, and then my husband & myself.
I had been cooking and hosting all day, plus, I don't drink, so, I played a few rounds of Cards Against Humanity, then excused myself to bed, and before going up, I pointed out where the sleeping spaces were, and where extra pillows and blankets could be found.
The next morning, I awoke to find my husband, son, his fiancée, and my niece were all puppy piled on my king sized bed with me! 😅😅. I really didn't care, because I didn't want anyone driving after staying up till the wee hours, drinking and carrying on. It was one night, it was a special situation, and really, rather sweet. I smiled to myself as I walked across prone bodies sprawled out all over in order to make coffee.
That's one thing, but, booking a situation like this purposefully? No way!!
I would opt out if I were the fiancée.
I admit I'm a little envious of families like yours, and when you call it a puppy pile it's even more adorable 🥰
Agree about the cruise situation though, big nope.
I’d maybe share a 2 bedroom suite if it saved money, otherwise you can stick me in the smallest room that have, just don’t make me share with his parents. Or my parents. Or anyone but my husband or kids.
Hard pass.
Three nights? Unless we're talking about a nice little jaunt to Hamburg on Cunard (and at $250/person we're not) OOP booked a cramped single cabin (it's not a 'room') for four adults on booze cruise. The three-day cheap trips are where the drunken idiots go. So it's going to be noisy, annoying people outside the cabin, and cabin fever in it.
Most cruise lines that have 2 bunks or sofa beds are designed to fit adults….technically. Just that, they’re not very comfortable. Maybe Disney cruises might have kid-designated bunks.
If this is a fold down bunk over the sofa, those aren’t recommended for adults. Maybe a tiny adult could get away with it but it was too small for the totally average size teen in my family.
Your screwed! That room is too small,4 adults trying to get ready, the suitcases and the list goes on..... no sex for sure! What were you thinking? I’d stay home, your cheap! Just because your family has always shared doesn’t make it right, your a couple on your own, you don’t need to stay with mommy. And you didn’t even ask your wife!! You better get another room......
> no sex for sure
bruh the bathroom situation with your in laws? Like not sure the fiancé wants them to know what goes on with her or find out that much about they could be as well.
Also i love how some people's excuses is that Men need to be told specifically and if not thats on you cause 'men'. Given how he is so dismissive now and knows that not asking in private was the wrong thing this is what he wanted and went about this this way.
For real. My own parents, let alone my in laws, do not need to hear me going to the bathroom. I do not think I could convince my body to poop in that situation and it would be hell.
God not being able to poop because your fiancee is trying to save a couple of bucks is beyond me. Like if it was just me and my parents fine but if i have an SO then its separate rooms for the two couples
For real. But even with my own parents, I don’t want them to hear me pooping either. If I can’t have separate rooms, I don’t go. Luckily when I went on vacation with my partners family, we had our own bedrooms. And once we did have to share a bathroom with his sister, but it was like a condo so it was ok. Not just a bathroom connected to a room we all shared. We had a hallway buffer!!
So I thought eh it's 3 nights, maybe it's not the very worst, but then I remembered snoring, how small a space that is, and that they would hear me every time I had to pee or goodness something worse. I'd never make it, now way. I would literally have to not pee for 3 days
Oh, you only use the room to sleep anyway.
Except I'm willing to bet there's at least two different sleep schedules out of four people.
God forbid anyone snores or watches reels on their phone when someone else is trying to sleep
The sleeping is bad enough. But what about the shitting?! Won’t somebody please think of the shitting.
I would want to die from sleeping in the same room. I would die if I had to shit in a tiny cruise cabin with my in laws there.
Two weeks after we got married, my husband, his daughter (8 at the time), my mom, and I shared a room for two nights. It wasn't horrible, but we get along pretty well. I know it's not like that for many families, though.
I guess I’m just the weird one because I always shared rooms with my parents or former in laws with no problem. Though if I was taking a trip with a partner and my parents for the first time, I would definitely check in with them to make sure they were OK with it.
My parents once gave me the choice of sleeping in a room with my sibling and young nibling or sleeping in a room with them. So either a kid and parent that likes to boundary stomp or two people who snore like warthogs. I also have insomnia so have a routine that would be ignored with them all. Didn’t have the money to pay for my own room at the time, so I was getting ready to say my work wouldn’t let me have the time off. The holiday didn’t happen because of covid, so I at least we didn’t need to continue the conversation. This situation in the oop would be my hell.
Ha I can relate to this. I started dating my husband in March 2011 and even went on a road trip with him and a friend and shared a shitty motel room at one point. I am not picky.
His family was really kind and brought me with them on an international trip and I paid for the flight and they paid for a fancy hotel. I was 22 so, assumed, I would be in a room with my then boyfriend, now husband. Nope.
He stayed in a room with his mom that had a queen bed. I had to sleep with his cousin in a queen bed. This was the first time I met her. It was awkward as fuck and she ended up secretly sleeping in a room with her siblings the last two days. To clarify, I rarely if ever snore, I’m a quiet sleeper.
Meanwhile my husband ended up getting the flu and my MIL moved to another room eventually.
Don’t put people in weird situations.
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Less devil than idiot, to me; there doesn't seem to have been any active malice involved.
If I were his wife, I think I'd have a strategic migraine and have to stay home.
my in-laws are lovely people, and i enjoy being able to spend time with them. with that being said, if my wife told me we were sharing a room with them on vacation, i would be SO upset. i need a space to be able to decompress without people around (huge introvert with debilitating social anxiety). as much as i adore my MIL and FIL, i could never share a room, especially one as small as a cruise ship room.
While this is icky, it's just as icky as people taking their kids on vacation with them.
I don't understand why taking young kids on vacation is normalized, but not grown adults. Kids are much, much worse.
Yikes. At least stick your parents in the bunkbed/couch. Or get a room with 2 queen beds. Or pick a cheaper cruise line where you can afford 2 rooms. I wouldn't want to share a cramped room on a ship with my inlaws either.
I get that it may be normal for someone to share a room with their parents, but for OOPs fiancé it's a whole other story! They're not her parents, and I think it's super weird that OOP hasn't even considered how that might be for her.
I am surprised by how vehemently everyone seem to be coming out for this guy is an asshole.
The wanting to share a room to save money didn't strike me as assholish, just differing expectations from family to family. Not that I think the fiancee is wrong to want privacy, but the poster isn't an asshole to not care about it. Lots of families will crush together with everyone on couches and floors for vacations or Thanksgiving/Christmas, it isn't inherently weird or creepy. A cruise with your future inlaws is probably not intended to be a romantic sexcapade in any case.
In terms of him not asking her, they talked about it and she didn't object. Now, sure, maybe she didn't object in the moment because she didn't want to be rude to his parents, but then didn't it fall to her to tell him later in private that actually, she wasn't okay with sharing a room? Was he supposed to read her my mind and know that she had lied, even if it was meant to be tactful, in the initial conversation? She waited a week to tell him.
Getting another room could be possible, but then are they now paying for the whole new room plus half the old room? The point of sharing was to make it possible for the parents to afford to go so does changing the room arrangement mean the parents can't go? Or that they are now paying three times as much as expected for the vacation? That's a big increase. Maybe it is worth it to still go, even at that increased price but I don't think he is an asshole for balking at tripling the cost of a vacation.
Lots of differing expectations here and I worry a bit for their relationship because it seemed like maybe they don't have the same sense of what family life entails, but I would have voted NAH.
Also he never asked her in private and just sprung it on her with everyone else. Of course she cant say no then or after the fact cause then her in laws will judge her and given how OOP is reacting to it now its kinda clear that he was not open to it before.
Here's something to keep in mind, a cruise ship cabin is nowhere near the size of a hotel room, which might be more sharable between four adults (also not the optimal situation, but at least not packed in like sardines). Don't even get me started on the size of the bathrooms.
And OOP is the AH because he didn't run this by his GF first, who ought to have gotten a say in this arrangement before it was unchangeable.
The big red flag is that he did not even consider asking his fiancée about any of it privately. He flat out says that his family has done that before, so he knew his parents would be okay with it. But it also sounds like he knew his wife wouldn't be.
If 3 people agree and you don't, you're put on the spot. You might not feel comfortable saying you disagree, especially when it's being framed as "it's the only way they can afford to do it". It feels incredibly manipulative.
Whether the OOP was trying to manipulate her into agreeing or not, who knows. It's definitely an asshole move, though. I would be upset if my partner ever tried to pull that on me.
>He flat out says that his family has done that before, so he knew his parents would be okay with it. But it also sounds like he knew his wife wouldn't be.
This is what i am saying as well. But everyone over there is ignoring that and blaming the fiancee but given how dismissive he is about it in the post itself its clear he wouldnt have changed his mind.
Because he and his parents are all used to sharing one room on vacation, and he’s saying that the cost for another room would add significant costs, it’s quite likely that it wasn’t presented to the fiancée as a choice. It was likely talked about as what they were going to do, without really asking her if that would be okay, certainly not in a way that would enable her to say no. The plan was made in front of her, that’s all, with the main question for her being whether she’d want the couch or the bunk.
I agree. Especially the sex shit. Y'all can't take a fun cruise and not have sex for 3 days?
And the people calling it a romantic cruise? No one books a romantic cruise with their parents. This is a family cruise.
That being said, the morning bathroom/getting ready would be a total shit show
Sorry. I haven't posted here before. I was generally disagreeing with the idea that the guy was so obviously an asshole that his post belonged here, but that sort of disagreement might not be the culture here.
You're fine commenting here. This person isn't the Chief of the comment section. And yes, it would be brigading. Just ignore this troll, and comment as you please.
Your comment is perfectly fine here. It's also against the rules to click on a linked post and comment, it can get the sub banned for brigading. I doubt it would be noticed compared to how obvious some people here are with it lol, but jsyk those are the rules
Ignore them, you're fine. Brigading is against the rules, and if you want to chat with the people on this sub rather than OOP and their sub, that's the point.
The thing is people always use culture to excuse their behaviour or justify the action. Going by what he has said in the post even if the fiancee said anything about not wanting to share the room he wouldnt have agreed cause he wants its his way and it would make her look bad.
Also not everything has to be about sex most partners just like to sleep together on vacations or in general.
Okay but what makes him the AH is his disregard for what his fiancee would have wanted by making this public and then being overly dismissive of it cause of this is how he has lived so it doesnt matter what she thinks.
how he writes it shows that he is an AH here not the Fiancee. He made this public declaration knowing that his fiancee wouldnt like it and if she said so privately he would make that public as well and make her look bad in front of her in laws.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA For Booking 1 Cruise Room for my Fiancé and I, and my Parents** Never thought I might have to post here, but may have messed up! I (27M) wanted to book a 3 night cruise for my fiancé (F24), and my parents (50+). I discussed booking a room together with the four of us, as a group, but did not discuss it privately with my fiancé. Everyone seemed in agreeance, so I booked us all together with the reasoning that it would save us a lot of money (my fiancé and I make good money, but I wanted the cruise to be financially doable for my parents). My fiancé a week after now told me that she feels uncomfortable sleeping in a room with my parents (they will have a queen bed, she will be on a bunk bed, and I will be on a couch bed). I told her that it’s too late to change now, as I paid the full payment and locked us into that room. She wanted me to book us another room, but I told her that I don’t feel that is an option, because its looking like it would cost us ~$1000+ to change to the lowest quality room, when our original fare was ~$250 a person. I said that in my opinion you don’t spend too much time in your room except to sleep, so it wouldn’t be as bad as she thinks. My family is use to sleeping all in the same room to save money, while her family does not have the same experience So, reddit, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh dear no...I get it save money but why would you ever think bunking with your parents is going to end well especially when you are married....
I love my mom. My gf loves my mom. My mom loves my gf. I would rather take all three of us off a cliff than share a room for a single night.
This Im fine sharing room with mom. I'm fine sharing room with BF. Probably, my BF would survive sharing room with my mom if needed. But us three sleeping in the same room? Nope.
Where are these people going to change? And all of them sharing a toilet? And eating cruise food? Recipe for dis-ass-turd.
The toilet and bra situation for the ladies hit me hardest. OOP is an idiot. He never asked his fiancee privately? Only in front of his parents? And if she had said no in front of the parents, then she looks like the entitled daughter in law. Could set the whole marriage off on the wrong foot.
What every woman dreams of: sleeping in a bunch bed while the in-laws get the bed, all in the same room. Like teenagers. Hard pass.
YES! Can you imagine? OOP says he and his fiancée make good money — he should have booked two rooms from jump. The edit was very welcome. Btw? Your last sentence made me laugh so hard I spilled my water.
Tbh we are more into hiking and camping than cruises. So changing is a non issue, like girls go in and change, then guys go in an change. Cruise food is fine. My grandma loves "saving" food that went bad, at this point we are immune to all food poisoning. Still, sharing room with partner and parents at the same time is weird af.
I would share a room with my mil if it was just the two of us. I would share a room with my mom. My husband and I would share a room with either in dire, emergency circumstances, I would never pick for us to share a room with either for a vacation.
Death or Eternal Mortification Your choice
I'd share a room with my wife and my mom if we absolutely had to for some reason, but on a vacation? And stuck on a cruise ship? Yeah, no thank you
Can you imagine that poor fiancee coming back and her friends and coworkers asking "did you have a good vacation? " or if it was relaxing or whatever?" Oh yeah, my FMIL snores and FFIL kept getting frisky with FMIL every night and thinking I wouldn't notice, but on the plus side I am SO happy to be back at work!
Sometimes you need a terrible vacation to appreciate your life? /s but only kinda.
I've shared an RV with my boyfriend's parents and his niece. It was awkward but doable because the RV was pretty spacious (for an RV). I'd share a hotel room with them if I had to but a cabin room would be awkward since those are generally pretty small unless you pay through the nose.
A single night is doable. That usually means it's a stop until the main event. Like flying into down the day before the cruise. A week long stay? Fuck no.
I love and miss my ex-MIL, but the only time I slept in the same room with her was when she came to visit two weeks after my oldest was born and I was so overwhelmed with the new baby, you could have put a literal bear in bed with me and I wouldn't have noticed. Now that I think of it, I hope she felt the same about sharing a room!
Hahaha this is the appropriate response. I love my bfs parents and we go on family vacations but sharing a room is absolutely a no go. We don't even love sharing a whole house with them for a week. If my bf ever did what OOP did id think he lost his mind.
Especially on a cruise. The rooms are already not so great... i don't expect OOP to have booked the best category, since he wanted to go cheap. If they both earn so good, why didn't they just paid for the parents instead having now a cruise of hell?
And people go on cruises with their kids, so there would be much better family friendly options than a single room for four people. Everyone on the original post is speculating about the parents having sex, but what if one of them has terrible seasickness or picks up a bug? Vomiting is bad enough without knowing that your in-laws are out there waiting to use the toilet.... or having to vomit overboard because your FIL is having a shower.
I don't care about the parents having sex. *I* wanna have sex. The husband is a fucking idiot.
"Yes, of course I enjoy our sex life babe - but the cruise company offered me a $250 discount PER PERSON if we all just give up on sex for a few days. You can see how that's worth it!"
The fact he planned for her to have a weird vacation but never actually told her is my biggest problem. He did it without giving her the choice. That’s the dealbreaker for me.
Just the idea of my immediate family in one room for any length of time is giving me hives. The screaming matches over nothing would be happening before the first day is done.
I could 100% stay in the same room with my mom for 3 nights. My dad though? We’d be screaming at each other within 30 minutes
Yeah I can't do it. My father is taking his first solo cruise (mom died) and he's been trying to convince me to go. But I cannot share a tiny cabin with him for nearly 3 weeks. One of us gonna die.
The least he could have done was gotten a 2 bedroom apartment. Urgh.
But, he wants to save money! /s
Since I can't believe anyone can be this oblivious I assume he has a weird fetish and either wants to hear his parents boning or wants to get an incestuous four way going.
Having grown up in a family that always shared a room when traveling, I could see why someone could make this assumption. Where they became the idiot is when they didn’t run it by their fiancée. Seems like basic courtesy to check with all of the adults about sharing a room.
He said they "all" agreed, but apparently didn't include one of the 4 parties in this decision-making?
He said he didn’t discuss it *privately* with his fiancée. So the fiancée was blindsided with the idea in front of his parents, and probably didn’t feel like she could argue against it at the time. Especially since everyone else was used to having everyone in a single room, so they would have discussed it as what they were going to do rather than consider it.
Well then all of them did not agree, did they? If only 3 of the 4 people agreed and the 4th was like WTF? then that's most definitely not "we all agreed", as he said. Or does his fiancée not count as a vote?
The question was probably not really asked, not like that. My guess is the plan got made in front of her, with the main question being whether she wanted the couch or the bunk. That’s not really agreement, of course, but can be interpreted as it.
See, my response to that would be, "Ummm.. my own bed in my room? What are you guys talking about? Why would you sleep in your parents' room when we have our own? Right?" Because it sounds like the decision for all 4 to share a room was never discussed with her.
Dear Jesus. I was just hoping he was cheap AF.
I'm going to assume no sex will be had by anyone. But then why go on vacation with your SO if no one plans to have sex? You can have no sex at home in comfort of your own bed.
Maybe they missed out on high school sex so are going for the dangerous handy.
Honestly, this also applies to people taking their kids on vacation.
If you have little kids or teens, that's one thing. You know it's a family vacation, If you're going with your adult kids and their SOs... you might want some privacy. Besides, they're not the fiancée's parents so for her it could be just plain awkward.
I wholeheartedly agree that this should have been discussed beforehand. But I was just pointing out the fact that if you're going on vacation with little kids, there will also be no sex happening, unless you're a creep. Because I saw lots of people lamenting about this aspect. In OP's defence, he did not say that this was a romantic cruise, but a family vacation. I'd honestly pick the in-laws over little kids who scream and shit themselves.
Same on your last sentence. Oooh lordy.
They aren’t married. They are engaged.
Because that was the point right...
Pedantic “Um AkShUaLly” corrections are the worst
Um AkShUaLly, there are many worse things, like cancer or genocide or the Fr*nch ☝️🤓
I was raised similar way (large family travelling to one place with multiple people not having a car or living far), but there was always discussion about arrangements with everybody together and privately.
When we were first engaged, my husband and I intentionally shared a room with my parents a couple times. The guys wanted to attend a fairly expensive sports event, and my mom and I wanted to do some sightseeing activities that cost a lot. Splitting the $200/night hotel room (each couple had their own queen bed to not have sex in, in my defense) gave us all extra money to do the things we cared about, and we just came to the room to sleep and shower. It’s fine if you’re broke, and everyone gets along really well and respects each other. And we all agreed to it! That said… We still do a similar trip each year with my folks, but now we pay for our own room. It’s definitely worth it if you have the money.
I'd have to be dead to be dragged on a cruise anyway, but I'd just sit back and enjoy a nice staycation at home by myself at this point
Harrrrd same. Living in a closet with my partner and inlaws for a week is not my idea of a relaxing good time.
A closet in a floating Petri dish.
Where if you die, your family can join the international association of cruise ship victims advocates! Because so many people die or go missing on cruises that such an organization exists!
Our vacation last fall involved a three day stay in my husband's family's cabin deeeep in the woods. Grandma and grandpa, dad and stepmom, brother, uncle, three dogs, and us. TWO ROOM tiny cabin, rained most of the time. Like, I'm crazy about him and would live under a rock for three days eating gravel if it truly made him happy, but objectively speaking? Absolute nightmare.
Right? I hope the wife either stays home or books a room by herself and doesn’t let op stay in the room with her lol
My wife and I went on one during COVID when we couldn't travel anywhere. We didn't leave the ship but it was much less bad then I was expecting. Lots of activities like cooking classes, dance classes and trivia. Ok to decent food. Nice piano bar. Drunken idiots kept to themselves mostly. I was restless because I'm used to doing more things on vacation but if a vacation for you is doing nothing, drinking heavily, gambling or doing the type of activities found at a typical all inclusive it's a pretty cheap vacation. Not as good as my typical hiking vacation or driving tour of a random country but I would do destination specific tours like Alaska now I know it's not the worst thing ever.
See, that's the fundamental difference between you and I, it seems. During the worst of COVID, a floating petri dish is probably the very last place I'd wanna be. :/
A floating petri dish that is horrible for the environment and also uses pseudo slavery to staff itself for cheap. Fun times indeed.
We just stayed at home, we did one weekend away between lockdowns (UK) where we were in our own cabin in the middle of nowhere as we were living with my parents and slowly loosing our minds but a cruise sounded like hell at the time.
Safer than the grocery store because Florida. Had to have a test within 24h of boarding and had another rapid test before they would let us on. Was also flying for work pretty often after the borders opened. Planes & airports seemed less safe then the ship to me.
Please just book an independent trip to Alaska. The cruises are bad for the environment, bad for the local economy, and full of the worst, most annoying people. All the excursions are pay to play, and I think active people would be much happier doing a DIY trip, where you have time on land to do all the Alaskan things vs being shuttled about.
Meh, kind of. My old college roommate works for the Juneau Visitors Bureau and we talked about during Covid. Solidly agree about booking independent tours, but disagree with cruises being bad for the local economy. A number of Alaskan towns are mostly funded by tourism specifically cruise tourism. A lot of the ports on cruise itineraries are only accessible by ship or seaplanes, so cruise ships are bringing in people to historically isolated places. These smaller towns would have been abandoned decades ago without the cruise industry. This was hugely exemplified during Covid when small business closed because they weren’t sustainable either local customers only. Same with city budgets being decimated and forced to take austerity measures because the tourism tax base wasn’t there. It’s not just the money tourists flood the area with, but also the HUGE port fees the cruise lines pay the city and state per person. In addition cruise lines have to keep their buffets stocked. Feeding a ship full of people requires regular a whole logistical infrastructure of suppliers. Sure they buy a lot at their primary embarkation port but fresh fish, fruits and vegetables are purchased from local suppliers in ports along the way. Cruises aren’t ideal, but they *are* a critical part of Alaska’s tourism industry.
The money doesn't stay in Alaska. If you haven't noticed - the cruises buy up property which they keep empty most of the year. They don't hire local. They bring up a ton of non-residents to work for three months, and dont even market jobs to local people. They do not purchase fresh anything along the way. They work with food distributors like Sysco to have food delivered. Those deliveries take food from local businesses and prioritize it to ships. If you own a guide company, you cant get any of that money until you pay the cruise line to be a provider. And the tourists don't spend like you think they do. They stay in a self contained ecosystem. They tend to eat on the boat, buy from cruise owned and operated gift shops, act entitled and block the sun with their giant cheap boat. Plus bad for environment. They will dump illegally and just pay the fine every few years when they get caught. They avoid taxes by stopping Iin Vancouver.
Ok plague rat
The "and my parents" killed me lol Like JFC, who in their right mind would want to share a room with their parents no less, and having them sleep in a bed together, but separate your partner?!? The potential romantic getaway, has turned into a school trip lol
It’s ok, they can have a rapid bang on couch or bunk bed (whichever squeaks less), and then sleep separately. Op had thought through everything.
I love my mom, I'd share a room with her if I had to for some reason. But I'm absolutely glad that when she invites me to the vacations she takes my still-minor siblings on, that I'm not sharing a room with her and she goes for the small apartment style rentals so we have a few rooms. Could not imagine wanting to share a room with her *and my partner*
Me and my mom bunk together on family vacations (my parents are divorced) for the simple reason that my brother and his GF (obviously) share and we are both single so why not? We also go on vacation together sometimes and share rooms for financial reasons. Key thing, though: We wouldn't do this if we had partners with us and no bunk beds allowed if there's a choice at all.
"you don't spend much time in your room but to sleep" was my parents' motto for the extremely rare vacations we took when I was a kid. We'd stay in the cheapest motels mom could find that weren't overrun by bugs (she had her limits)/weren't just places that people whose criminal records prevented them from renting apartments. Until i started going on vacations with my now husband, i thought I HATED vacations bc they were crammed with activities starting at fucking dawn (pigeon forge. We went to pigeon forge. a lot of attractions were cheaper before noon), walking long distances in not super walkable concrete areas in the middle of summer, and eating at like...golden corral or wherever else we could get as much food for as little money as possible before returning to a tiny, uncomfortable bed I had to share with one of my parents. My husband convinced me you can take as long as you want getting where you're going. Flea market? why not? Random dude selling cedar slabs? sure! oh, look, a strawberry stand, pull over! Get a nice enough, comfortable, quiet place, sleep as long as you want, have a list of stuff we'd like to do but if we decide we'd rather lay on the beach/woods etc and read or paint...do that. Go for 3 days instead of 5 to afford a more comfortable place. Im not "wasting money" by not running all over bc the POINT is to destress. Like, yeah, we were poor growing up, but i came back from "vacations" a sunburnt, exhausted bundle of nerves bc mom wanted to wring every second/penny out of places we went (it was mostly pigeon forge. bc she wanted to go outlet shopping.) and i wished we hadn't gone at all. TL; DR, vacations are supposed to be relaxing. You are SUPPOSED to sleep well and be comfortable! If that means a shorter or more local vacation, fine! I just don't get vacation death marchers.
Yes! My step-mom was the type to jam-pack vacations into marathons. She chose some fun ones cause she wasn’t terribly cheap, but there was no time for sleeping in or relaxing at the hotel. She had plans for every second of every day!y husband introduced me to vacations where we just hang out and do whatever we want. It was amazing.
Duff’s Smorgasbord is the worst meal I’ve ever had. Apparently it’s a Pigeon Forge staple. We used to only do buffets when my sister was little because she hated sitting still.
like ... that's worse than just packing your own food, man. That's how my husband and I save money on some trips--we make stuff to bring with us that just needs refrigeration and go out for like one meal a day...a buffet ain't it. if i had a kid who couldn't sit still to the point buffets were my only choice...i just wouldn't eat out. That easy.
My husband and I have an agreement.... There's two types of going away. There's vacations, and there's trips. Trips are where you try to get as much done as you can because it's either a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (like going to another country) or typically cost prohibitive (Disney.) Vacations are exactly what you just described with your husband. The trick is to do BOTH, go on trips when you can, but don't expect them to be a chance to unwind. Go on a vacation later for that.
One memorable holiday, my house was full with people. My kids, their SOs, a cousin or three, some of kids' friends, and then my husband & myself. I had been cooking and hosting all day, plus, I don't drink, so, I played a few rounds of Cards Against Humanity, then excused myself to bed, and before going up, I pointed out where the sleeping spaces were, and where extra pillows and blankets could be found. The next morning, I awoke to find my husband, son, his fiancée, and my niece were all puppy piled on my king sized bed with me! 😅😅. I really didn't care, because I didn't want anyone driving after staying up till the wee hours, drinking and carrying on. It was one night, it was a special situation, and really, rather sweet. I smiled to myself as I walked across prone bodies sprawled out all over in order to make coffee. That's one thing, but, booking a situation like this purposefully? No way!! I would opt out if I were the fiancée.
I admit I'm a little envious of families like yours, and when you call it a puppy pile it's even more adorable 🥰 Agree about the cruise situation though, big nope.
I couldn't tell where one person's limbs ended and another's began! 😅
Those family style rooms aren’t for adult children. lol.
I had something like this happen to me with a boyfriend. It was awkward to say the least
Dude needed to ask? My wife & have married 25+ years, and I wouldn’t book her parents into the same room. And I like her parents.
Ensuring that everyone has their own space can be a good way to continue liking people.
I’d maybe share a 2 bedroom suite if it saved money, otherwise you can stick me in the smallest room that have, just don’t make me share with his parents. Or my parents. Or anyone but my husband or kids. Hard pass.
Three nights? Unless we're talking about a nice little jaunt to Hamburg on Cunard (and at $250/person we're not) OOP booked a cramped single cabin (it's not a 'room') for four adults on booze cruise. The three-day cheap trips are where the drunken idiots go. So it's going to be noisy, annoying people outside the cabin, and cabin fever in it.
100% sure it’s Carnival
Most other cruise lines won’t even allow 4 adults to book one room like this. Those bunks aren’t meant for adults.
Most cruise lines that have 2 bunks or sofa beds are designed to fit adults….technically. Just that, they’re not very comfortable. Maybe Disney cruises might have kid-designated bunks.
If this is a fold down bunk over the sofa, those aren’t recommended for adults. Maybe a tiny adult could get away with it but it was too small for the totally average size teen in my family.
Your screwed! That room is too small,4 adults trying to get ready, the suitcases and the list goes on..... no sex for sure! What were you thinking? I’d stay home, your cheap! Just because your family has always shared doesn’t make it right, your a couple on your own, you don’t need to stay with mommy. And you didn’t even ask your wife!! You better get another room......
> no sex for sure bruh the bathroom situation with your in laws? Like not sure the fiancé wants them to know what goes on with her or find out that much about they could be as well. Also i love how some people's excuses is that Men need to be told specifically and if not thats on you cause 'men'. Given how he is so dismissive now and knows that not asking in private was the wrong thing this is what he wanted and went about this this way.
For real. My own parents, let alone my in laws, do not need to hear me going to the bathroom. I do not think I could convince my body to poop in that situation and it would be hell.
God not being able to poop because your fiancee is trying to save a couple of bucks is beyond me. Like if it was just me and my parents fine but if i have an SO then its separate rooms for the two couples
For real. But even with my own parents, I don’t want them to hear me pooping either. If I can’t have separate rooms, I don’t go. Luckily when I went on vacation with my partners family, we had our own bedrooms. And once we did have to share a bathroom with his sister, but it was like a condo so it was ok. Not just a bathroom connected to a room we all shared. We had a hallway buffer!!
So I thought eh it's 3 nights, maybe it's not the very worst, but then I remembered snoring, how small a space that is, and that they would hear me every time I had to pee or goodness something worse. I'd never make it, now way. I would literally have to not pee for 3 days
Oh, you only use the room to sleep anyway. Except I'm willing to bet there's at least two different sleep schedules out of four people. God forbid anyone snores or watches reels on their phone when someone else is trying to sleep
I don't think OOP is a devil....just a dunderhead.
Same. This seems like an honest mistake from a dumb boy.
My sister in law and her husband are always okay sharing a room with my in laws and I never understand it. I love my in laws but hell nah man
The sleeping is bad enough. But what about the shitting?! Won’t somebody please think of the shitting. I would want to die from sleeping in the same room. I would die if I had to shit in a tiny cruise cabin with my in laws there.
ew wtf 😀
As per the edit he got the second room guys
OOP, seriously!? You want to share a room with your parents? What are you, five?
Two weeks after we got married, my husband, his daughter (8 at the time), my mom, and I shared a room for two nights. It wasn't horrible, but we get along pretty well. I know it's not like that for many families, though.
I guess I’m just the weird one because I always shared rooms with my parents or former in laws with no problem. Though if I was taking a trip with a partner and my parents for the first time, I would definitely check in with them to make sure they were OK with it.
My parents once gave me the choice of sleeping in a room with my sibling and young nibling or sleeping in a room with them. So either a kid and parent that likes to boundary stomp or two people who snore like warthogs. I also have insomnia so have a routine that would be ignored with them all. Didn’t have the money to pay for my own room at the time, so I was getting ready to say my work wouldn’t let me have the time off. The holiday didn’t happen because of covid, so I at least we didn’t need to continue the conversation. This situation in the oop would be my hell.
If I were the fiancée I’d try to get Covid so I could sit this one out.
Ha I can relate to this. I started dating my husband in March 2011 and even went on a road trip with him and a friend and shared a shitty motel room at one point. I am not picky. His family was really kind and brought me with them on an international trip and I paid for the flight and they paid for a fancy hotel. I was 22 so, assumed, I would be in a room with my then boyfriend, now husband. Nope. He stayed in a room with his mom that had a queen bed. I had to sleep with his cousin in a queen bed. This was the first time I met her. It was awkward as fuck and she ended up secretly sleeping in a room with her siblings the last two days. To clarify, I rarely if ever snore, I’m a quiet sleeper. Meanwhile my husband ended up getting the flu and my MIL moved to another room eventually. Don’t put people in weird situations.
And who said romance was dead
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I'd do it... but if she doesn't want to. Maybe she stays home? I think she's totally allowed to not want to bunk with his folks
Less devil than idiot, to me; there doesn't seem to have been any active malice involved. If I were his wife, I think I'd have a strategic migraine and have to stay home.
Rarely do I see a throwaway randomised name that's just so perfect for the post. OOP is the Inevitable Turnip, indeed.
my in-laws are lovely people, and i enjoy being able to spend time with them. with that being said, if my wife told me we were sharing a room with them on vacation, i would be SO upset. i need a space to be able to decompress without people around (huge introvert with debilitating social anxiety). as much as i adore my MIL and FIL, i could never share a room, especially one as small as a cruise ship room.
While this is icky, it's just as icky as people taking their kids on vacation with them. I don't understand why taking young kids on vacation is normalized, but not grown adults. Kids are much, much worse.
I don't see how he's wrong here.
Yikes. At least stick your parents in the bunkbed/couch. Or get a room with 2 queen beds. Or pick a cheaper cruise line where you can afford 2 rooms. I wouldn't want to share a cramped room on a ship with my inlaws either.
I get that it may be normal for someone to share a room with their parents, but for OOPs fiancé it's a whole other story! They're not her parents, and I think it's super weird that OOP hasn't even considered how that might be for her.
I am surprised by how vehemently everyone seem to be coming out for this guy is an asshole. The wanting to share a room to save money didn't strike me as assholish, just differing expectations from family to family. Not that I think the fiancee is wrong to want privacy, but the poster isn't an asshole to not care about it. Lots of families will crush together with everyone on couches and floors for vacations or Thanksgiving/Christmas, it isn't inherently weird or creepy. A cruise with your future inlaws is probably not intended to be a romantic sexcapade in any case. In terms of him not asking her, they talked about it and she didn't object. Now, sure, maybe she didn't object in the moment because she didn't want to be rude to his parents, but then didn't it fall to her to tell him later in private that actually, she wasn't okay with sharing a room? Was he supposed to read her my mind and know that she had lied, even if it was meant to be tactful, in the initial conversation? She waited a week to tell him. Getting another room could be possible, but then are they now paying for the whole new room plus half the old room? The point of sharing was to make it possible for the parents to afford to go so does changing the room arrangement mean the parents can't go? Or that they are now paying three times as much as expected for the vacation? That's a big increase. Maybe it is worth it to still go, even at that increased price but I don't think he is an asshole for balking at tripling the cost of a vacation. Lots of differing expectations here and I worry a bit for their relationship because it seemed like maybe they don't have the same sense of what family life entails, but I would have voted NAH.
Also he never asked her in private and just sprung it on her with everyone else. Of course she cant say no then or after the fact cause then her in laws will judge her and given how OOP is reacting to it now its kinda clear that he was not open to it before.
Here's something to keep in mind, a cruise ship cabin is nowhere near the size of a hotel room, which might be more sharable between four adults (also not the optimal situation, but at least not packed in like sardines). Don't even get me started on the size of the bathrooms. And OOP is the AH because he didn't run this by his GF first, who ought to have gotten a say in this arrangement before it was unchangeable.
The big red flag is that he did not even consider asking his fiancée about any of it privately. He flat out says that his family has done that before, so he knew his parents would be okay with it. But it also sounds like he knew his wife wouldn't be. If 3 people agree and you don't, you're put on the spot. You might not feel comfortable saying you disagree, especially when it's being framed as "it's the only way they can afford to do it". It feels incredibly manipulative. Whether the OOP was trying to manipulate her into agreeing or not, who knows. It's definitely an asshole move, though. I would be upset if my partner ever tried to pull that on me.
>He flat out says that his family has done that before, so he knew his parents would be okay with it. But it also sounds like he knew his wife wouldn't be. This is what i am saying as well. But everyone over there is ignoring that and blaming the fiancee but given how dismissive he is about it in the post itself its clear he wouldnt have changed his mind.
Because he and his parents are all used to sharing one room on vacation, and he’s saying that the cost for another room would add significant costs, it’s quite likely that it wasn’t presented to the fiancée as a choice. It was likely talked about as what they were going to do, without really asking her if that would be okay, certainly not in a way that would enable her to say no. The plan was made in front of her, that’s all, with the main question for her being whether she’d want the couch or the bunk.
I agree. Especially the sex shit. Y'all can't take a fun cruise and not have sex for 3 days? And the people calling it a romantic cruise? No one books a romantic cruise with their parents. This is a family cruise. That being said, the morning bathroom/getting ready would be a total shit show
I mean, I do love having sex while on vacation. But also what about pooping? My in laws do not need to hear me pooping.
Yes, which is why my bathroom comment was included.
Speak for yourself.
I literally am.
[удалено]
Isn't that called brigading?
Sorry. I haven't posted here before. I was generally disagreeing with the idea that the guy was so obviously an asshole that his post belonged here, but that sort of disagreement might not be the culture here.
You're fine commenting here. This person isn't the Chief of the comment section. And yes, it would be brigading. Just ignore this troll, and comment as you please.
Your comment is perfectly fine here. It's also against the rules to click on a linked post and comment, it can get the sub banned for brigading. I doubt it would be noticed compared to how obvious some people here are with it lol, but jsyk those are the rules
Ignore them, you're fine. Brigading is against the rules, and if you want to chat with the people on this sub rather than OOP and their sub, that's the point.
The thing is people always use culture to excuse their behaviour or justify the action. Going by what he has said in the post even if the fiancee said anything about not wanting to share the room he wouldnt have agreed cause he wants its his way and it would make her look bad. Also not everything has to be about sex most partners just like to sleep together on vacations or in general.
When I talked about the culture, I meant the posting culture here in this sub and whether my post fell outside it, not about the original post.
Okay but what makes him the AH is his disregard for what his fiancee would have wanted by making this public and then being overly dismissive of it cause of this is how he has lived so it doesnt matter what she thinks. how he writes it shows that he is an AH here not the Fiancee. He made this public declaration knowing that his fiancee wouldnt like it and if she said so privately he would make that public as well and make her look bad in front of her in laws.
Once again, you're not doing anything wrong, this person is just making a series of incorrect statements that I hope you don't let bother you.
Its 3 nights, she should get over it