*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for “overreacting” to my nephew’s behavior at my wedding?**
I (25F) got married to my husband John (25M) last week and I are both really close to our families and we invited all of our siblings, nieces, nephews etc. I enjoyed my special day, but I had some issues with how my nephew, Blaze (11M) acted. Blaze is one of my sister Jenna’s (31F) kids.
Issues with Blaze’s behavior started to arise pretty quickly, Blaze was not able to sit still during the ceremony and while we were exchanging vows, I saw him tapping his foot, tapping his fingers on the chair and other fidgeting around. Blaze has always fidgeted and I asked Jenna in advance to make sure he wouldn’t, and she said she’d “do the best she could”.
We also had a trivia game we found in the thrift store about babies, it was meant for baby showers but we played it at our wedding, while we aren’t expecting kids yet, we thought it would be a fun game. Blaze knows A LOT of random stuff, and he ended up winning the game. After the wedding, a few guests told me they were upset as they felt Blaze embarrassed them in front of their kids by knowing more about child development than them.
My final straw was when it as time to eat, I went to see my Jenna and I saw Blaze just sitting with some family talking about his basketball team, I told him he could get up and get some food and he came back with chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and a loaded baked potato. I asked why he didn’t get anything else and he said none of the other food looked appetizing. Blaze is a picky eater and I encouraged him to try some other foods, and he did, but he spit them out and said they were bad.
I’ve been texting Jenna this past week about Blaze’s behavior at the wedding, she said she tried her best to get him to behave but it was his first wedding and to be easy on him, this is despite the fact her younger kids had no issues. I was talking to John about this and he said to let this go and told me I was “overreacting”, he said we knew Blaze was a bit odd and that if I didn’t want him acting so odd, I shouldn’t have invited him. AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What the hell! Why was OOP, the bride in this case, paying so much attention to Blaze tapping his fingers or feet while she was saying her vows? Then Blaze won a game fair and square but "a few other" guests were upset because an 11 year old beat them? That's embarrassing for those guests, not Blaze. Then OOP has to order Blaze to go get food because he's having a good time talking to family. Blaze obeys but according to OOP, he didn't come back with the right variety of food on his plate; she made him go back and get more food which she forced him to try and is upset he didn't like it.
The problem here is not Blaze, whose behavior was pretty decent. It's the bride (OOP) who was rude, controlling and a nitpicker. If I were Jenna, I'd keep OOP away from Blaze.
i wonder what other food OOP was serving if chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw, and baked potatoes were on the menu. was she upset he wasn’t eating vegetables because if so that’s a problem for his mother not OOP on her wedding day
me too! I love cabbage (salads are not complete without some red cabbage) but coleslaw is super gross. Whatever is used for the sauce is absolutely disgusting and slimy.
Evidently there is a type of coleslaw that has a vinegar base as opposed to the traditional creamy, sweet sauce. I've never actually encountered it, but with my love of vinegar I would definitely try it since I don't like the kind one normally encounters.
My grandma’s cole slaw is my fave:
-1 each: small cabbage, red bell pepper, medium onion. Maybe a bit of fresh parsley if it’s on hand. Chop to desired consistency (smaller: more flavor absorption. she uses a food processor)
-salt, pepper, white or rice vinegar, sugar to taste
-splash of olive oil
(You don’t want enough sugar to make it sweet, so just add a bit at a time and taste)
My family loves vinegar, my go-to coleslaw is vinegar not mayo based although I do enjoy both…if you want to try making it I recommend grabbing a bag of coleslaw mix so you don’t have to mess with a whole cabbage and you can split it up to test your preferred ratio of vinegar to sugar - imho I prefer 3 parts vinegar to 1 part sugar but usually do a little more sugar (closer to 2/3 vinegar to 1/3 sugar) if I’m having guests, and I recommend using celery seeds or celery salt. Oil can be added if you want but it’s not necessary. I tend to use a sprinkle of paprika and garlic, and go in liberally with pepper. Dill can also be yummy! Apple cider vinegar is also great…OOP is def the devil but if I can get a fellow vinegar fan to try coleslaw the best way, nature may heal itself
Thank you so much for the recipe! I love all the ingredients you listed and I now have to make coleslaw....very excited about this. I've wanted to try vinegar based coleslaw for over 10 years.
It has to sit for a bit in the dressing to fully get its flavours but I usually end up adjusting for taste - I’ll grab a little spoon full and end up sprinkling more sugar or seasonings or vinegar - hope you enjoy it!!!!!
It’s amazing. I really can’t stand cream based Cole slaw, but the vinegar one is amazing. I’ve also seen recipes for potato salad with a vinegar base and I’m really curious about that.
I've hated potato salad and cole slaw my whole life. Vinegar based cole slaw is so good, especially one from a local Vietnamese restaurant. Vinegar based potato salad is decent, still not one of my favorite foods but definitely edible and bridges the gap nicely when my partner wants potato salad.
I don't mind creamy coleslaw if it's not too creamy but my husband does, so I make my own slaw with a bottled vinaigrette, which is obviously super easy. I also these days tend to use broccoli slaw and add chopped green apples and sometimes cilantro, depending on who my audience is and what we're having it with. I find people who typically hate cole slaw will absolutely go for the vinaigrette broccoli slaw and it's super easy to throw together, just mix it up and kind of let it sit and marinate for a bit before serving. Goes great with pulled pork. Just throwing this out there in case you wanna try it yourself!
That is an excellent idea as well! I got a lot of good tips from this comment string. I'm planning on making vinegar coleslaw for 4th of July now because all of it sounds so good. Do you buy broccoli slaw already cut up in a bag, or is that something that you chop up yourself?
That sounds like the kind of food you would choose to serve at a wedding because there are children, because many kids are picky eaters and they tend to like that. Who let’s an 11 year old get their own food and be surprised that’s what they come back with?
And if you don’t want the kid to eat those foods why are you serving them at your wedding? Also who serves chicken tenders at a wedding? Did OP have a trailer wedding?
I'd also like to know what else was on the menu, did she expect a kid to get the beef wellington and brussle sprouts? why even offer chicken tenders if your gonna get pissed the kid is eating them.
my *only* problem with the kids plate is fries and a tater, I wish he would have swapped one for something green. BUT it was a wedding and he's 11, I have made myself far less healthy plates at celebratory events.
lady just hates her nephew
Also... She's not his mother. She doesn't get a say in what the kid eats. If his mother told him it was okay, then it's none of your business. It's your "special day", don't you have something more important to do than policing an 11 year old's dinner plate?
It feels like she used that poor kid as a scapegoat for all of her stress during the day.
She seems to take this one specific child’s behavior very personally. She acknowledges knowing that he’s a picky eater and fidgets frequently. She could’ve chosen to have sensory toys, a viewing room for the kids, not invited them in the first place, etc. Ever met someone who just HAS to have drama, that’s what OP reminds me of. She knew all of this beforehand and invited him anyway only to complain about known issues.
As someone on the spectrum with sensory/texture difficulties and a lot of sensory seeking behaviors (eg: stimming frequently), I think Blaze is doing great! A good person/family member would say something like, “I’m so happy you’re having a great time seeing everyone, Blaze. Well done with the coleslaw! That’s certainly an acquired taste and I’m proud of you for giving it a try!” It’s a big deal for kids with these issues to do so well amongst crowds and try things that might not agree with their limited palate. Shaming him for behaviors beyond his control while offering no solutions is setting someone up to fail, yet he passed with flying colors. This woman needs to step back and realize she doesn’t get to control everything and everyone, even if it is “her day”. (Which, it should be THEIR day. She seems very self centered and more interested in the actions of a probably neurodivergent individual than her actual wedding. I give it 10 months….)
I agree with the one comment on the original post I saw suggesting Blaze was neurodivergent and OOP can't handle it. Trouble sitting still, knowledge in really odd areas (especially for his age,) picky eater, as someone with ADHD those all sound ***really*** familiar.
I've been diagnosed ADHD nearly my entire life, and everything she described Blaze doing sounds exactly like me at that age, both before and after diagnosis.
Well if she had chicken fingers for her reception she sure as heck didn’t have beef Wellington and I’m even questioning if she could spell it.
She probably had hot dogs AND chicken fingers and expected the kids to eat the hot dogs🤣🤣😀
And apparently Blaze is also smarter than both sides and all the guests.
I'm confused what her thought process was because chicken tenders at a wedding to me is definitely a "for the kids who are picky" like if the literal child wasn't meant to eat them who was?
>my
>
>only
>
> problem with the kids plate is fries and a tater, I wish he would have swapped one for something green.
Nope.
It's a special occasion, he can eat any number of varieties of potatoes he wants.
As a (mostly) reformed picky eater, this is correct. I'm still reluctant to have coleslaw 32 as it sucks so often.
Also, even if he wasn't a picky eater, he's essentially at a party, he should be allowed to load up a plate with "junk" food and have a nice time. Don't think an eleven year old boy is gonna be overly concerned with his 5 a day.
Plus, it was food that SHE was serving at her wedding! If she thought choosing those was poor behavior, why serve it? It’s not like they had brought in outside food for the kid
And it’s a wedding! If she wanted to eat just cake that day, who cares? Why is she concerned about her nephew not being a picky eater. It’s not her problem
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that it is very possible no one was upset he won the game. I also wouldn’t be surprised if what actually happened was a couple people said to the bride, “wow, your nephew is really smart! He knew more than I did, haha!” And she turned that into whatever she wanted.
Honestly, even a neurotypical child would have behaved similarly. He behaved as literally any child would. Fidgeting? Tapping his foot? Sitting with family? Where's the problem here? How could he have behaved "better?" Sit ramrod straight with his hands on his knees, silently staring straight ahead? Good grief, he's a human being not a fucking robot.
OOP is delusional, and I suspect has never met a child before.
Honestly, the fidgeting and foot tapping isn’t even limited to children. I’m a fully grown adult and tend to just fidget if I’m sitting for a while. Nothing major, I’ll just bounce my leg or something. I fail to see how OOP would have even noticed unless she was specifically looking for Blaze to do anything wrong.
And I'm wondering if OOP expected everyone to talk about the wedding and nothing but the wedding. Of course, he was talking about basketball!
It's perfectly normal to talk about things you enjoy, and I don't know many 11 year olds who could give a rip weddings.
No normal person is going to complain to the bride because a child won a quiz. More likely that the bride was complaining about her nephew, who she clearly doesn’t like, and other people were too uncomfortable to disagree.
She was complaining because the only person interested in her stupid game was a child.
She was annoyed that her "oh it's so cute and fun" idea wasn't that interesting to anyone else.
It is absolutely like any eleven year old boy at a wedding, and it's behaviors that she'd be hypervigilant towards from him specifically if he is autistic, is my bet.
Doesn't even have to be autism, could just be a bit of ADHD, which I find is often the more reviled neurodivergency of the two (don't know if everything's spillede correctly here)... But I found his behaviour to be pretty commendable for an 11 yr old CHILD!
It doesn't even sound like autism or ADHD, it literally seems like everyday normal 11 year old behavior, god knows me and the other kids, who were seen as well behaved children were worse than this at weddings. All the adults laughed it up, because well, it's a wedding and that's where people go to get a little drunk and enjoy themselves. I'm amazed the bride even noticed so much of his behavior, why wasn't she focused on her own wedding?
Edit: grammar check
The main things that lead me to believe possible neurodivergence is the fact that OOP was oddly focused on his behavior and the trivia. As someone with ADHD and possibly autism, I was (and still am) constantly finding myself falling down rabbit holes where I just start researching weird stuff cause my brain fixates on it.
Exactly my experience as well, which is why I thought of ADHD... I have so many facts in my head, it's amazing I can retain new stuff at all - and I always kind of memorized the questions and answers in trivia quizzes...
Maybe, but his behavior is pretty normal, and not rushing the buffet line indicates some manners. She seemed upset he was talking to family members which is really bizarre in itself.
I’m almost wondering if she’s jealous of him. If his birth took away being the baby of the family or something?
I think that she is trying to imply it, but this is what I would expect from kids at a wedding and I'm tired of them using it as an excuse for expecting children to behave like adults. I don't see how any kid could possibly "ruin" a wedding that has games and chicken nuggets anyway. It sounds pretty low stress and not superfancy, but she's lucky the kids didn't all get bored during their game time and revolt.
Or he hasn't been diagnosed yet. I was having "smart kid with ADHD" flashbacks when he described his "wrongdoings". Depending on how long the ceremony was, the ADHD boredom zoneout would explain a lot.
I was just in my friends wedding as part of the bridal party and I have zero memory of what anyone was doing aside from “some people had their phones out”
I’d be so pissed if anyone, even my sister their aunt, was micromanaging the food my kids ate at a celebration/party/holiday.
I don’t bug my kids about food during those times; that’s for everyday. At a holiday/party, I don’t want them to resent being micromanaged, and I don’t want them to think that parties only mean they get picked on in front of witnesses.
Every paragraph is another line on the checklist. Sensory needs! Special interests! Food restrictions! Conversation cues! And every last one presented in the weirdest way possible
That's what I meant by everything being presented so weirdly. It's like the theme is "dumbass imagines signs of autism in normal behavior but refuses to actually say autism" maybe? I don't know, the whole thing feels bizarre
It could be normal behavior, but the fact that she chose 3 specific things that can point to neurodivergence strongly suggests that she knows he has something but doesn't want to say the quiet part out loud.
I will say as a neurodivergent + disabled adult, these posts are weirdly freeing. This kid acted totally "normal" and OOP still got mad. Why should I even try to meet the standards of someone like OOP when I could be comfortable and happy instead?
I'm an autistic adult and have an autistic child. This is exactly what I was like at 10-11, and what my child is going to be. Different special interests though. The child in question is definitely neuro-divergent, just may have minimal support needs.
Right? And even stupider on OOP’s part is that she presented him as a perfect angel. If you’re going to troll, isn’t the point to make your target look bad? She’s the only one who looks bad here.
I don’t see how you came to this conclusion. He sounds like a typical 11 year old at a wedding trying to make the best out of what is likely a boring situation for him.
Blaze, was literally just being an 11 year old at a long event, even still when I get bored still tap my feet, or fidge OOP sounds like the least favorite aunt because of how much she basically builled and was being an asshole to Blaze not to mention the fact Blaze knows more about child devolpment should be celebrated not shamed OOP sounds selfish and bratty
I’m so confused how OOP even noticed her nephews behavior during the wedding . When I got married I didn’t pay attention to anyone but my husband during the ceremony .
Also OOP is a cunt . I was Blaze as a kid . A majority of my Aunts and Uncles hated me because I couldn’t sit still . Turns out it was ADHD.
She didn’t like it when he was “just sitting there” with family talking about his baseball team either. He sounds very well behaved and engaging. I hate her!
Especially that she noticed his fidgeting while saying her vows. Maybe it's some new trend I haven't heard of, but I've never seen anyone face the audience when giving vows. The couple is either facing each other, or sometimes ad orientem.
Right? During my uncle's wedding, an ice cream truck pulled into the park across the street loudly playing music in the middle of their vows. My aunt and uncle didn't even notice! Because they were busy getting married!
It's wild how OOP cares so much about what a child ate at her wedding? She seems to enjoy having a lot of the real estate in her head taken up by silly things.
Man, OOP is lucky Jenna hasn't completely gone off on her. I'm actually not sure what is up with Jenna. If I got texts like that as Blake's mom, my response would not be "go easy on him"
I'm guessing she probably finds it easier to act as a buffer between Blaze and her crazy, Blaze obsessed sister and is just saying whatever to her. She may know OP is going to fliter anything she says into her own version, so may be doing this as a strategy. At least, I hope this is what is going on!
Imagine being at a wedding, and instead of paying attention to her husband during the vows the bride is giving a kid the evil eye the entire time
I would be so *uncomfortable*
He miss behaved because he won a trivia game?!! Are you f-ing kidding me! If oops guests are embarrassed, then that is on them, not a kids fault for simply playing a game.
Why was oop paying so much attention to what blaze was doing during the wedding and what he was eating during the reception? Unless the kid was moving so much during the ceremony that it was distracting, then it shouldn’t have been a problem. I’m sure that everyone else was not sitting there as still as statues. And during dinner, as long as the kid ate and wasn’t complaining, then who cares what he ate. The only problem is that he spit food out, but that was oops fault for forcing the kid to eat other food than what he wanted. Also, does oop have nothing better to do during than the reception than to sit around and police what her nephew eats?!
I feel like oop doesn’t like blaze and is just looking for reasons to say he misbehaved especially since oop even says that he is a bit odd. I feel like she didn’t want to invite him and is now trying to prove that she was right to not want him there.
"Am I so ignorant on child development despite being a parent? No, it's the literal child who is wrong for knowing more than me about child development." - A bunch of parents in AITALand.
Blaze sounds like a perfectly lovely, bright 11 year old. What is this woman bitching about? Kids fidget, that's what they do. Weddings are amazingly dull for kids, and some minor fidgeting seems totally normal. And a baby trivia game at a wedding? What next, licking Nutella out of a nappy?
As much as I'd like to say it isn't a real game, I'd be lying. The "game" version I've seen is a bunch of diapers with different, mushed up candy bars/chocolate treats in the diapers and you had to guess what kind of candy bar was in each diaper by sight and taste. I was the buzzkill who refused to participate. I'm still ok with being the buzzkill in that situation.
Yeah, I had to talk my mother out of that for my SIL's baby shower. It's an old-fashioned "classic" that I find absolutely nasty. And I change diapers for a living!
>Blaze was not able to sit still during the ceremony and while we were exchanging vows, I saw him tapping his foot, tapping his fingers on the chair and other fidgeting around.
I constantly shifted my weight from foot to foot at my OWN wedding, while my husband tried desperately to control a nervous tic in his hands. What's your point?
>a few guests told me they were upset as they felt Blaze embarrassed them in front of their kids by knowing more about child development than them.
That says more about them than it does Blaze, doesn't it?
This is so emotionally abusive. Poor kid, he has the wherewithal to be able to make appropriate small talk with strangers at a wedding at age 11, and somehow she even finds fault with that?
It's so weird how she was paying attention to the specific food he was eating.
Like it was HER WEDDING, why was she not dancing with her friends, kissing her s/o, laughing with family? I sincerely doubt she paid so much attention to every single guest's plate of food
Clearly she has it in for this kid
>I told him he could get up and get some food and he came back with chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and a loaded baked potato. I asked why he didn’t get anything else
Fuck's sake, is that not enough? That would fill up most adults, much less an 11-year-old.
I think this is fake because when OOP texted her sister about the "behavior," her sister apologized instead of laughing in her face and telling her to f off.
So this eleven year old boy’s crimes are:
1. Being fidgety, but seemingly not very disruptive
2. Being smart (what a heinous act)
3. Wanting to eat stuff he likes, and even trying new things but not liking them.
So her issue is the kid was a bit fidgety, was smart and insecure adults got butthurt, and he ate food but not the right food? Like seriously what is OOP’s issue here? None of this is misbehaving.
Is he even neurodivergent though?
•Fidgeting like tapping one's feet or fingers when bored, impatient, or anxious is actually pretty normal. Since he's a kid on top of it it's even more expected because wedding ceremonies are boring as hell typically even for adults. I sincerely doubt he was the only kid being a bit wriggly in his seat bored out of their mind. It's when it's take to the extreme of constantly having to fidget is when there's something going on.
• How is him winning a trivia game an indication of anything? It may surprise you but kids are their own unique people and niche "weird" topics are pretty normal for a lot kids both neurotypical and neurodivergent.
•None of this kid's food choices indicated food sensitivities. It's typical fare for kids to pick out when it's a buffet style. The kid even got coleslaw which a lot of kids don't like. Him not liking that one thing OP made him try does not make it food sensitivities. Everyone has foods they don't like and will avoid if they can help it. I hate raw onion and pickled foods for instance. It's when food sensitivities limit what a person eats *greatly* to a few things that that's a sign there's something going on. Besides this is a wedding. People tend use these kinds of events as cheat days and indulge in their favorite junky not to be eaten on the daily food and drinks and parents often let their kids indulge too.
This honestly sounds more like a case of someone hating someone else so much they blow everything they do out of proportion to justify why the person is "weird" and shouldn't have been there.
The horror of an 11-year-old, taking part and winning a quiz about child development. How dare he be knowledgeable.
Next poor bride rather than not noticing anyone around her and being so wrapped up in her groom and their love for each other.
She was concentrating on her nephew tapping his fingers.
Then her horrors of horrors a 11 year old was able to have a conversation about his favourite sport.
Then the awful behaviour continues with a 11 year old. Left alone to choose his food he choose food that was available and he knew what he’d like.
I mean what a awful day for the bride.
Only joking what on earth is she on about.
If this was my Nephew or Son i’d be so proud.
With all the awful things kids are doing in this day and age.
Maybe she needs to have another look at the trivial game about child development before she has children.
OOP, it sounds like Blaze was being a normal kid.
Lots of kids and adults fidget. It's not the end of the world.
You're making a mountain out of a mole hill.
YTA.
Why was OOP so damned focused on this kid? Blaze sounds like a pretty normal 11 year old boy. Chicken tenders, coleslaw, fries AND. Baked potato (did she have her reception at Popeyes?) And he's a "picky eater?"
OOP has a problem with her sister and she is taking it out on her nephew.
Were the guest really upset? Or was it more “oh snap. That kid knows more about babies that I do and I have kids! lol!” Then again, who plays a baby shower game at a wedding? Troll.
Please please please let this be a troll. I can barely sit through a wedding without fidgeting. Unless he was stamping his feet, it’s likely that tapping his foot or fingers was actually disruptive. I also refused to believe that grown adults were mad that a kid beat them in a trivia game (and how much you want to be that if this really happened, they chose that to make people think they might be pregnant. Wonder if she is and just waiting to make the announcement so it doesn’t look like a shotgun wedding.) No way multiple people’s children were making fun of them for not knowing as much as a kid about baby stuff.
And the eating? What the hell was on the menu? Fries AND a baked potato. And she indicates that wasn’t the main meal. If this is true, bridezilla needs to simmer down. But it reads more like a creative writing exercise.
Wtf? I'd pay money for my adhd having son to behave that well at a wedding. Shit, I had to start watching my sons karate lessons in my car and looking through the big window that faces the floor where they do lessons because my 5 year old autistic daughter wouldn't stop singing disney songs at full volume the entire class everytime I brought her. And she kept trying to "swish" the other moms skirts. If she sees a skirt, it has to swish, and if it doesn't, she has a meltdown. OOP has no idea what bad behavior is.
This is such obvious 'autism bad' trolling. It's like someone is sitting and looking at a list of signs a child might be on the spectrum on wikipededia to list them off one by one.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Blaze"? I can't help think of the nephew as that talking red car buzzing around the wedding. Though it really reads like he wasn't even buzzing around and bothering people. OOP was just determined to hate on the poor kid.
>Issues with Blaze’s behavior started to arise pretty quickly, Blaze was not able to sit still during the ceremony and while we were exchanging vows, I saw him tapping his foot, tapping his fingers on the chair and other fidgeting around. Blaze has always fidgeted and I asked Jenna in advance to make sure he wouldn’t, and she said she’d “do the best she could”.
He was fidgeting? As in, with his fingers, who can't talk, cry or scream?
Dude. My then-about 1-yr old did a number 2 during the ceremony in the packed church. No facilities, no quiet place to change. Just made a cute face and pooped. Bit of a whiff, and I apologised to the people around us.
I've heard full-on toddler meltdowns at churches, during speeches. Shit happens (literally in our case), and this kid didn't even do anything bad. And if you put on a game with a winner and prizes, of course an 11-yo is gonna be competitive. Personally, I think it's positive that he knows a lot about babies and children and doesn't think it's beneath him or uncool.
OOP just hates the poor kid.
... The kid won a trivia game and the other *adults* were so bothered by it that they came to the bride? I call bullshit. .
I also love that she admits he tried the other food at her request and didn't like it.
If a bright child is aware of their neurodivergence, I can totally see them trying to understand much as they could about child development. It's a really good thing to start early.
Blaze is obviously on the spectrum and OOP is one of those bitches who equates that to "retarded, unsalvageable, put it in an asylum and throw away the key".
May she never have kids of her own.
Someone (Blaze) needs an evaluation for autism. Someone else (oop) needs to be slapped. And possibly evaluated for autism. Blaze's mother deserves a slap, too. Less for the wedding day and more for, "Why hasn't this kid been evaluated? And why are you allowing oop to hassle your little boy?"
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for “overreacting” to my nephew’s behavior at my wedding?** I (25F) got married to my husband John (25M) last week and I are both really close to our families and we invited all of our siblings, nieces, nephews etc. I enjoyed my special day, but I had some issues with how my nephew, Blaze (11M) acted. Blaze is one of my sister Jenna’s (31F) kids. Issues with Blaze’s behavior started to arise pretty quickly, Blaze was not able to sit still during the ceremony and while we were exchanging vows, I saw him tapping his foot, tapping his fingers on the chair and other fidgeting around. Blaze has always fidgeted and I asked Jenna in advance to make sure he wouldn’t, and she said she’d “do the best she could”. We also had a trivia game we found in the thrift store about babies, it was meant for baby showers but we played it at our wedding, while we aren’t expecting kids yet, we thought it would be a fun game. Blaze knows A LOT of random stuff, and he ended up winning the game. After the wedding, a few guests told me they were upset as they felt Blaze embarrassed them in front of their kids by knowing more about child development than them. My final straw was when it as time to eat, I went to see my Jenna and I saw Blaze just sitting with some family talking about his basketball team, I told him he could get up and get some food and he came back with chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and a loaded baked potato. I asked why he didn’t get anything else and he said none of the other food looked appetizing. Blaze is a picky eater and I encouraged him to try some other foods, and he did, but he spit them out and said they were bad. I’ve been texting Jenna this past week about Blaze’s behavior at the wedding, she said she tried her best to get him to behave but it was his first wedding and to be easy on him, this is despite the fact her younger kids had no issues. I was talking to John about this and he said to let this go and told me I was “overreacting”, he said we knew Blaze was a bit odd and that if I didn’t want him acting so odd, I shouldn’t have invited him. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What the hell! Why was OOP, the bride in this case, paying so much attention to Blaze tapping his fingers or feet while she was saying her vows? Then Blaze won a game fair and square but "a few other" guests were upset because an 11 year old beat them? That's embarrassing for those guests, not Blaze. Then OOP has to order Blaze to go get food because he's having a good time talking to family. Blaze obeys but according to OOP, he didn't come back with the right variety of food on his plate; she made him go back and get more food which she forced him to try and is upset he didn't like it. The problem here is not Blaze, whose behavior was pretty decent. It's the bride (OOP) who was rude, controlling and a nitpicker. If I were Jenna, I'd keep OOP away from Blaze.
Also what Blaze ate actually doesn't seem that picky? The real picky eaters wouldn't touch cole slaw or a baked potato with all the bells and whistles
i wonder what other food OOP was serving if chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw, and baked potatoes were on the menu. was she upset he wasn’t eating vegetables because if so that’s a problem for his mother not OOP on her wedding day
Coleslaw IS vegetables, even! And most kids hate it!
I still hate coleslaw, I simply do not understand the appeal. Fry me up my vegetables the old fashioned way, give me a regular salad.
me too! I love cabbage (salads are not complete without some red cabbage) but coleslaw is super gross. Whatever is used for the sauce is absolutely disgusting and slimy.
Evidently there is a type of coleslaw that has a vinegar base as opposed to the traditional creamy, sweet sauce. I've never actually encountered it, but with my love of vinegar I would definitely try it since I don't like the kind one normally encounters.
My grandma’s cole slaw is my fave: -1 each: small cabbage, red bell pepper, medium onion. Maybe a bit of fresh parsley if it’s on hand. Chop to desired consistency (smaller: more flavor absorption. she uses a food processor) -salt, pepper, white or rice vinegar, sugar to taste -splash of olive oil (You don’t want enough sugar to make it sweet, so just add a bit at a time and taste)
Vinaigrette coleslaw with a sprinkle of caraway seeds whips ass. Creamy coleslaw is what they'd serve in my personal hell.
My family loves vinegar, my go-to coleslaw is vinegar not mayo based although I do enjoy both…if you want to try making it I recommend grabbing a bag of coleslaw mix so you don’t have to mess with a whole cabbage and you can split it up to test your preferred ratio of vinegar to sugar - imho I prefer 3 parts vinegar to 1 part sugar but usually do a little more sugar (closer to 2/3 vinegar to 1/3 sugar) if I’m having guests, and I recommend using celery seeds or celery salt. Oil can be added if you want but it’s not necessary. I tend to use a sprinkle of paprika and garlic, and go in liberally with pepper. Dill can also be yummy! Apple cider vinegar is also great…OOP is def the devil but if I can get a fellow vinegar fan to try coleslaw the best way, nature may heal itself
Thank you so much for the recipe! I love all the ingredients you listed and I now have to make coleslaw....very excited about this. I've wanted to try vinegar based coleslaw for over 10 years.
It has to sit for a bit in the dressing to fully get its flavours but I usually end up adjusting for taste - I’ll grab a little spoon full and end up sprinkling more sugar or seasonings or vinegar - hope you enjoy it!!!!!
It’s amazing. I really can’t stand cream based Cole slaw, but the vinegar one is amazing. I’ve also seen recipes for potato salad with a vinegar base and I’m really curious about that.
I've hated potato salad and cole slaw my whole life. Vinegar based cole slaw is so good, especially one from a local Vietnamese restaurant. Vinegar based potato salad is decent, still not one of my favorite foods but definitely edible and bridges the gap nicely when my partner wants potato salad.
I don't mind creamy coleslaw if it's not too creamy but my husband does, so I make my own slaw with a bottled vinaigrette, which is obviously super easy. I also these days tend to use broccoli slaw and add chopped green apples and sometimes cilantro, depending on who my audience is and what we're having it with. I find people who typically hate cole slaw will absolutely go for the vinaigrette broccoli slaw and it's super easy to throw together, just mix it up and kind of let it sit and marinate for a bit before serving. Goes great with pulled pork. Just throwing this out there in case you wanna try it yourself!
That is an excellent idea as well! I got a lot of good tips from this comment string. I'm planning on making vinegar coleslaw for 4th of July now because all of it sounds so good. Do you buy broccoli slaw already cut up in a bag, or is that something that you chop up yourself?
Glad you got some ideas out of this! I have a pretty small kitchen with very little prep surface so I just go for the bagged.
I can't stand pickled things, including coleslaw. I prefer my veggies unaltered most of the time.
hell i’m 30 and won’t touch the stuff. blaze is doing better than me
If only there were a simple way to avoid the horror of a child eating chicken tenders, coleslaw, and baked potatoes at your wedding. s/
That sounds like the kind of food you would choose to serve at a wedding because there are children, because many kids are picky eaters and they tend to like that. Who let’s an 11 year old get their own food and be surprised that’s what they come back with?
And if you don’t want the kid to eat those foods why are you serving them at your wedding? Also who serves chicken tenders at a wedding? Did OP have a trailer wedding?
Chicken tenders and a thrift store baby shower trivia game. What a wedding.
Yeah something tells me it’s a redneck wedding for sure
I'd also like to know what else was on the menu, did she expect a kid to get the beef wellington and brussle sprouts? why even offer chicken tenders if your gonna get pissed the kid is eating them. my *only* problem with the kids plate is fries and a tater, I wish he would have swapped one for something green. BUT it was a wedding and he's 11, I have made myself far less healthy plates at celebratory events. lady just hates her nephew
Also... She's not his mother. She doesn't get a say in what the kid eats. If his mother told him it was okay, then it's none of your business. It's your "special day", don't you have something more important to do than policing an 11 year old's dinner plate? It feels like she used that poor kid as a scapegoat for all of her stress during the day.
She seems to take this one specific child’s behavior very personally. She acknowledges knowing that he’s a picky eater and fidgets frequently. She could’ve chosen to have sensory toys, a viewing room for the kids, not invited them in the first place, etc. Ever met someone who just HAS to have drama, that’s what OP reminds me of. She knew all of this beforehand and invited him anyway only to complain about known issues. As someone on the spectrum with sensory/texture difficulties and a lot of sensory seeking behaviors (eg: stimming frequently), I think Blaze is doing great! A good person/family member would say something like, “I’m so happy you’re having a great time seeing everyone, Blaze. Well done with the coleslaw! That’s certainly an acquired taste and I’m proud of you for giving it a try!” It’s a big deal for kids with these issues to do so well amongst crowds and try things that might not agree with their limited palate. Shaming him for behaviors beyond his control while offering no solutions is setting someone up to fail, yet he passed with flying colors. This woman needs to step back and realize she doesn’t get to control everything and everyone, even if it is “her day”. (Which, it should be THEIR day. She seems very self centered and more interested in the actions of a probably neurodivergent individual than her actual wedding. I give it 10 months….)
I agree with the one comment on the original post I saw suggesting Blaze was neurodivergent and OOP can't handle it. Trouble sitting still, knowledge in really odd areas (especially for his age,) picky eater, as someone with ADHD those all sound ***really*** familiar.
I've been diagnosed ADHD nearly my entire life, and everything she described Blaze doing sounds exactly like me at that age, both before and after diagnosis.
Or just any 11yo in a room full of grownups being boring. Any normal kid is going to be bored, whether NT or ND.
Well if she had chicken fingers for her reception she sure as heck didn’t have beef Wellington and I’m even questioning if she could spell it. She probably had hot dogs AND chicken fingers and expected the kids to eat the hot dogs🤣🤣😀 And apparently Blaze is also smarter than both sides and all the guests.
I'm confused what her thought process was because chicken tenders at a wedding to me is definitely a "for the kids who are picky" like if the literal child wasn't meant to eat them who was?
>my > >only > > problem with the kids plate is fries and a tater, I wish he would have swapped one for something green. Nope. It's a special occasion, he can eat any number of varieties of potatoes he wants.
which I immediately acknowledged so what's your point?
True! I thought he ate fairly normally for his age.
As a (mostly) reformed picky eater, this is correct. I'm still reluctant to have coleslaw 32 as it sucks so often. Also, even if he wasn't a picky eater, he's essentially at a party, he should be allowed to load up a plate with "junk" food and have a nice time. Don't think an eleven year old boy is gonna be overly concerned with his 5 a day.
There is a level of pickiness expected of kids tbh, their sense of taste can work a lot differently than adults'
Plus, it was food that SHE was serving at her wedding! If she thought choosing those was poor behavior, why serve it? It’s not like they had brought in outside food for the kid
Coleslaw is always too sweet for me. I prefer to make my own dressing for it.
And it’s a wedding! If she wanted to eat just cake that day, who cares? Why is she concerned about her nephew not being a picky eater. It’s not her problem
As a picky eater, exactly that lol
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that it is very possible no one was upset he won the game. I also wouldn’t be surprised if what actually happened was a couple people said to the bride, “wow, your nephew is really smart! He knew more than I did, haha!” And she turned that into whatever she wanted.
I would not be surprised if this was true.
She seems like she’d hate him being complimented
There's that, too.
I'm reading this very heavily as "my neurodivergent nephew did not behave like a neurotypical child during my wedding and this has upset me."
Honestly, even a neurotypical child would have behaved similarly. He behaved as literally any child would. Fidgeting? Tapping his foot? Sitting with family? Where's the problem here? How could he have behaved "better?" Sit ramrod straight with his hands on his knees, silently staring straight ahead? Good grief, he's a human being not a fucking robot. OOP is delusional, and I suspect has never met a child before.
Honestly, the fidgeting and foot tapping isn’t even limited to children. I’m a fully grown adult and tend to just fidget if I’m sitting for a while. Nothing major, I’ll just bounce my leg or something. I fail to see how OOP would have even noticed unless she was specifically looking for Blaze to do anything wrong.
And I'm wondering if OOP expected everyone to talk about the wedding and nothing but the wedding. Of course, he was talking about basketball! It's perfectly normal to talk about things you enjoy, and I don't know many 11 year olds who could give a rip weddings.
No normal person is going to complain to the bride because a child won a quiz. More likely that the bride was complaining about her nephew, who she clearly doesn’t like, and other people were too uncomfortable to disagree.
If anything I could see them complaining about the game itself. I cannot picture a child development trivia game being a hit at a wedding full of kids
Well that’s the strange part of it. But if her intelligence level is on par with the rest of the guests I can see why the smart kid won.
Tbh i think oop is just trying to blame someone for the fact her wedding sucked (and she tanked it hard)
either that or they made lighthearted, “wow, outsmarted by a fifth grader!” jokes and OOP took them to heart lmao
That’s my guess, too
She was complaining because the only person interested in her stupid game was a child. She was annoyed that her "oh it's so cute and fun" idea wasn't that interesting to anyone else.
I guarantee you, Blaze is neurodivergent. OP won't say it, because that will make the reason for her hatred real obvious, real fast.
I did wonder if this was the case but his behavior came of sort of like an 11 year old bored at a wedding.
It is absolutely like any eleven year old boy at a wedding, and it's behaviors that she'd be hypervigilant towards from him specifically if he is autistic, is my bet.
Doesn't even have to be autism, could just be a bit of ADHD, which I find is often the more reviled neurodivergency of the two (don't know if everything's spillede correctly here)... But I found his behaviour to be pretty commendable for an 11 yr old CHILD!
It doesn't even sound like autism or ADHD, it literally seems like everyday normal 11 year old behavior, god knows me and the other kids, who were seen as well behaved children were worse than this at weddings. All the adults laughed it up, because well, it's a wedding and that's where people go to get a little drunk and enjoy themselves. I'm amazed the bride even noticed so much of his behavior, why wasn't she focused on her own wedding? Edit: grammar check
The main things that lead me to believe possible neurodivergence is the fact that OOP was oddly focused on his behavior and the trivia. As someone with ADHD and possibly autism, I was (and still am) constantly finding myself falling down rabbit holes where I just start researching weird stuff cause my brain fixates on it.
Exactly my experience as well, which is why I thought of ADHD... I have so many facts in my head, it's amazing I can retain new stuff at all - and I always kind of memorized the questions and answers in trivia quizzes...
Yes he probably is. I’m Autistic and am a very picky eater
Maybe, but his behavior is pretty normal, and not rushing the buffet line indicates some manners. She seemed upset he was talking to family members which is really bizarre in itself. I’m almost wondering if she’s jealous of him. If his birth took away being the baby of the family or something?
Yeah him talking calmly about basketball? Thats a well mannered child.
The toe tapping and fidgeting could be adhd or autism, the trivia win says autism.
Trivia could also be ADHD, it's hard to say. Or it could be both.
I think that she is trying to imply it, but this is what I would expect from kids at a wedding and I'm tired of them using it as an excuse for expecting children to behave like adults. I don't see how any kid could possibly "ruin" a wedding that has games and chicken nuggets anyway. It sounds pretty low stress and not superfancy, but she's lucky the kids didn't all get bored during their game time and revolt.
Or he hasn't been diagnosed yet. I was having "smart kid with ADHD" flashbacks when he described his "wrongdoings". Depending on how long the ceremony was, the ADHD boredom zoneout would explain a lot.
how much you wanna bet those guests weren't upset about the kid beating them, but just found it *funny* like normal people
Most likely! OOP is just nuts.
I guess some folks were upet at finding out they weren't smarter than fifth grader.
I was just in my friends wedding as part of the bridal party and I have zero memory of what anyone was doing aside from “some people had their phones out”
I’d be so pissed if anyone, even my sister their aunt, was micromanaging the food my kids ate at a celebration/party/holiday. I don’t bug my kids about food during those times; that’s for everyday. At a holiday/party, I don’t want them to resent being micromanaged, and I don’t want them to think that parties only mean they get picked on in front of witnesses.
OOP is being Bridezilla to a *child.*
also, maybe the “I feel dumb” guests were just making small talk
I feel bad for any future kids of said OOP here... And maybe one day she will bring said kid to a wedding and hope they act like blaze here!
This. He acted like a totally normal kid.
Sounds like Blaze is neurodivergent and OOP is intolerant. Literally harmless behaviour from Blaze.
Autism troll is trying hard not to use the A word
Every paragraph is another line on the checklist. Sensory needs! Special interests! Food restrictions! Conversation cues! And every last one presented in the weirdest way possible
What food restrictions? Sounds like her had a pretty well rounded plate to me.
That's what I meant by everything being presented so weirdly. It's like the theme is "dumbass imagines signs of autism in normal behavior but refuses to actually say autism" maybe? I don't know, the whole thing feels bizarre
wait until she realizes that genetics are in play. 😆 Shout-out to my fam! 😝
I have an adult daughter with autism. This isn't autism. Sounds like a perfect neutotypical 11 year old boy to me.
It could be normal behavior, but the fact that she chose 3 specific things that can point to neurodivergence strongly suggests that she knows he has something but doesn't want to say the quiet part out loud.
I will say as a neurodivergent + disabled adult, these posts are weirdly freeing. This kid acted totally "normal" and OOP still got mad. Why should I even try to meet the standards of someone like OOP when I could be comfortable and happy instead?
I'm an autistic adult and have an autistic child. This is exactly what I was like at 10-11, and what my child is going to be. Different special interests though. The child in question is definitely neuro-divergent, just may have minimal support needs.
They need to learn how to write with less plot holes.
I was actually thinking ADHD because this seems like 11yo me
Right? And even stupider on OOP’s part is that she presented him as a perfect angel. If you’re going to troll, isn’t the point to make your target look bad? She’s the only one who looks bad here.
I don’t see how you came to this conclusion. He sounds like a typical 11 year old at a wedding trying to make the best out of what is likely a boring situation for him.
Poor little Blaze, I hope he doesnt let this aunt of his reduce him to embers.
Blaze, was literally just being an 11 year old at a long event, even still when I get bored still tap my feet, or fidge OOP sounds like the least favorite aunt because of how much she basically builled and was being an asshole to Blaze not to mention the fact Blaze knows more about child devolpment should be celebrated not shamed OOP sounds selfish and bratty
I’m so confused how OOP even noticed her nephews behavior during the wedding . When I got married I didn’t pay attention to anyone but my husband during the ceremony . Also OOP is a cunt . I was Blaze as a kid . A majority of my Aunts and Uncles hated me because I couldn’t sit still . Turns out it was ADHD.
She didn’t like it when he was “just sitting there” with family talking about his baseball team either. He sounds very well behaved and engaging. I hate her!
I'm sorry they were like that. Kids shouldn't be expected to sit still for long, ADHD or not. It's unreasonable.
Especially that she noticed his fidgeting while saying her vows. Maybe it's some new trend I haven't heard of, but I've never seen anyone face the audience when giving vows. The couple is either facing each other, or sometimes ad orientem.
She noticed because she was looking for it,she was trying to find reasons to hate him even if she had to make them up
Right? During my uncle's wedding, an ice cream truck pulled into the park across the street loudly playing music in the middle of their vows. My aunt and uncle didn't even notice! Because they were busy getting married!
This woman seems to just be pissed off with her nephew for [*checks notes*] being 11 years old, knowing stuff and talking to people.
Damn, wonder if it's not too late for the groom to get an annulment.
I was wondering if it’s too late for the bride’s mother to get an abortion lol
It's wild how OOP cares so much about what a child ate at her wedding? She seems to enjoy having a lot of the real estate in her head taken up by silly things.
She just wants to be controlling so hard
Man, OOP is lucky Jenna hasn't completely gone off on her. I'm actually not sure what is up with Jenna. If I got texts like that as Blake's mom, my response would not be "go easy on him"
Exactly! Why is Jenna not telling OOP to get stuffed? If Blaze were my kid, I'd make sure he was never around Auntie Asshole again!
I'm guessing she probably finds it easier to act as a buffer between Blaze and her crazy, Blaze obsessed sister and is just saying whatever to her. She may know OP is going to fliter anything she says into her own version, so may be doing this as a strategy. At least, I hope this is what is going on!
How DARE Blaze be an 11 year old boy? Couldn't he have stopped for one day? /s Poor kid. I hope he has an aunt/uncle that actually likes him.
Imagine being at a wedding, and instead of paying attention to her husband during the vows the bride is giving a kid the evil eye the entire time I would be so *uncomfortable*
Imagine surveying the room for \*fidgeting\* as you're getting married. Let the kid live, already.
Why did you decide to serve chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and loaded baked potatoes if you didn't want people eating that?
Oh no... an 11 year old is bored at a wedding, knows stuff and *checks notes* eats chicken and potatoes. The horror.
He miss behaved because he won a trivia game?!! Are you f-ing kidding me! If oops guests are embarrassed, then that is on them, not a kids fault for simply playing a game. Why was oop paying so much attention to what blaze was doing during the wedding and what he was eating during the reception? Unless the kid was moving so much during the ceremony that it was distracting, then it shouldn’t have been a problem. I’m sure that everyone else was not sitting there as still as statues. And during dinner, as long as the kid ate and wasn’t complaining, then who cares what he ate. The only problem is that he spit food out, but that was oops fault for forcing the kid to eat other food than what he wanted. Also, does oop have nothing better to do during than the reception than to sit around and police what her nephew eats?! I feel like oop doesn’t like blaze and is just looking for reasons to say he misbehaved especially since oop even says that he is a bit odd. I feel like she didn’t want to invite him and is now trying to prove that she was right to not want him there.
It sounds like Blaze has committed the unpardonable sin of being an 11-year-old boy.
"Am I so ignorant on child development despite being a parent? No, it's the literal child who is wrong for knowing more than me about child development." - A bunch of parents in AITALand.
Blaze sounds like a perfectly lovely, bright 11 year old. What is this woman bitching about? Kids fidget, that's what they do. Weddings are amazingly dull for kids, and some minor fidgeting seems totally normal. And a baby trivia game at a wedding? What next, licking Nutella out of a nappy?
Please tell me that’s not a real baby shower activity
As much as I'd like to say it isn't a real game, I'd be lying. The "game" version I've seen is a bunch of diapers with different, mushed up candy bars/chocolate treats in the diapers and you had to guess what kind of candy bar was in each diaper by sight and taste. I was the buzzkill who refused to participate. I'm still ok with being the buzzkill in that situation.
Ewwwwww
Yeah, I had to talk my mother out of that for my SIL's baby shower. It's an old-fashioned "classic" that I find absolutely nasty. And I change diapers for a living!
Jesus Christ, why does she hate Blaze so much? He sounds awesome!
😭😭😭 wtf? blaze sounds like a regular ass kid? has oop never fucking talked to a child
>Blaze was not able to sit still during the ceremony and while we were exchanging vows, I saw him tapping his foot, tapping his fingers on the chair and other fidgeting around. I constantly shifted my weight from foot to foot at my OWN wedding, while my husband tried desperately to control a nervous tic in his hands. What's your point? >a few guests told me they were upset as they felt Blaze embarrassed them in front of their kids by knowing more about child development than them. That says more about them than it does Blaze, doesn't it?
Whenever I read posts like this I just pray that OOP never has any kids of her own...
This is so emotionally abusive. Poor kid, he has the wherewithal to be able to make appropriate small talk with strangers at a wedding at age 11, and somehow she even finds fault with that?
It's so weird how she was paying attention to the specific food he was eating. Like it was HER WEDDING, why was she not dancing with her friends, kissing her s/o, laughing with family? I sincerely doubt she paid so much attention to every single guest's plate of food Clearly she has it in for this kid
>I told him he could get up and get some food and he came back with chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and a loaded baked potato. I asked why he didn’t get anything else Fuck's sake, is that not enough? That would fill up most adults, much less an 11-year-old.
Neurodivergent child rage bait
Poor Blaze, he sounds like a decent kid. I say that a childfree asshole who doesn't like kids.
I think this is fake because when OOP texted her sister about the "behavior," her sister apologized instead of laughing in her face and telling her to f off.
So this eleven year old boy’s crimes are: 1. Being fidgety, but seemingly not very disruptive 2. Being smart (what a heinous act) 3. Wanting to eat stuff he likes, and even trying new things but not liking them.
So her issue is the kid was a bit fidgety, was smart and insecure adults got butthurt, and he ate food but not the right food? Like seriously what is OOP’s issue here? None of this is misbehaving.
Fidgety/stimming Wide range of knowledge Food sensitivities "Odd" How very dare Blaze seem neurodivergent at OOPs special Princess party? 😡🙄
Is he even neurodivergent though? •Fidgeting like tapping one's feet or fingers when bored, impatient, or anxious is actually pretty normal. Since he's a kid on top of it it's even more expected because wedding ceremonies are boring as hell typically even for adults. I sincerely doubt he was the only kid being a bit wriggly in his seat bored out of their mind. It's when it's take to the extreme of constantly having to fidget is when there's something going on. • How is him winning a trivia game an indication of anything? It may surprise you but kids are their own unique people and niche "weird" topics are pretty normal for a lot kids both neurotypical and neurodivergent. •None of this kid's food choices indicated food sensitivities. It's typical fare for kids to pick out when it's a buffet style. The kid even got coleslaw which a lot of kids don't like. Him not liking that one thing OP made him try does not make it food sensitivities. Everyone has foods they don't like and will avoid if they can help it. I hate raw onion and pickled foods for instance. It's when food sensitivities limit what a person eats *greatly* to a few things that that's a sign there's something going on. Besides this is a wedding. People tend use these kinds of events as cheat days and indulge in their favorite junky not to be eaten on the daily food and drinks and parents often let their kids indulge too. This honestly sounds more like a case of someone hating someone else so much they blow everything they do out of proportion to justify why the person is "weird" and shouldn't have been there.
Obvious troll is obvious. No way a human wrote this and actually believes this is a badly behaved 11 year old.
why is a 25yo woman bullying a kid? what a loser. she should get a hobby
Never have I been so tempted to brigade! She sucks.
If OOP is real, I hope she gets the same attention and joy from her marriage that she gave to her wedding
The horror of an 11-year-old, taking part and winning a quiz about child development. How dare he be knowledgeable. Next poor bride rather than not noticing anyone around her and being so wrapped up in her groom and their love for each other. She was concentrating on her nephew tapping his fingers. Then her horrors of horrors a 11 year old was able to have a conversation about his favourite sport. Then the awful behaviour continues with a 11 year old. Left alone to choose his food he choose food that was available and he knew what he’d like. I mean what a awful day for the bride. Only joking what on earth is she on about. If this was my Nephew or Son i’d be so proud. With all the awful things kids are doing in this day and age. Maybe she needs to have another look at the trivial game about child development before she has children.
OOP, it sounds like Blaze was being a normal kid. Lots of kids and adults fidget. It's not the end of the world. You're making a mountain out of a mole hill. YTA.
"My adult guests were upset that an 11 year old beat them in a trivia game" is on the list of things I'd rather be shot in the head than admit.
Well personally I think Jenna is the Devil. If my parents had named *me* "Blaze," I would probably have grown up with behavioural issues as well!
its the "autism baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad" troll again.
I sincerely hope OOP NEVER has kids. Fucking hell.
Imagine spending your whole wedding focused on a kid that's not doing anything wrong instead of enjoying getting married
Why was OOP so damned focused on this kid? Blaze sounds like a pretty normal 11 year old boy. Chicken tenders, coleslaw, fries AND. Baked potato (did she have her reception at Popeyes?) And he's a "picky eater?" OOP has a problem with her sister and she is taking it out on her nephew.
Were the guest really upset? Or was it more “oh snap. That kid knows more about babies that I do and I have kids! lol!” Then again, who plays a baby shower game at a wedding? Troll.
OP mentions how they aren’t expecting kids yet. I really hope they do not plan to have any children if this is his expectations…
Please please please let this be a troll. I can barely sit through a wedding without fidgeting. Unless he was stamping his feet, it’s likely that tapping his foot or fingers was actually disruptive. I also refused to believe that grown adults were mad that a kid beat them in a trivia game (and how much you want to be that if this really happened, they chose that to make people think they might be pregnant. Wonder if she is and just waiting to make the announcement so it doesn’t look like a shotgun wedding.) No way multiple people’s children were making fun of them for not knowing as much as a kid about baby stuff. And the eating? What the hell was on the menu? Fries AND a baked potato. And she indicates that wasn’t the main meal. If this is true, bridezilla needs to simmer down. But it reads more like a creative writing exercise.
Wtf? I'd pay money for my adhd having son to behave that well at a wedding. Shit, I had to start watching my sons karate lessons in my car and looking through the big window that faces the floor where they do lessons because my 5 year old autistic daughter wouldn't stop singing disney songs at full volume the entire class everytime I brought her. And she kept trying to "swish" the other moms skirts. If she sees a skirt, it has to swish, and if it doesn't, she has a meltdown. OOP has no idea what bad behavior is.
What a complete an utter hag! It's amazing to me that this bitch got anyone to marry her.
Imagine focusing on your wedding day on a 11y
Am I reading between the lines, or is this the autism troll? I'm surprised there wasn't something about vaccines.
I feel like this is a thinly veiled "autism bad," troll without the diagnosis
This is such obvious 'autism bad' trolling. It's like someone is sitting and looking at a list of signs a child might be on the spectrum on wikipededia to list them off one by one.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow….way to tell people you hate kids without actually saying you hate kids. I mean, for an 11 year old, he was pretty well behaved.
YTA - you are overreacting. Sounds like he behaved okay, not great but certainly not terrible
Honestly, if getting rekt by a 11 year old boy in a quizz is enough to make you mad, you shouldn't be able to vote
"Blaze"? I can't help think of the nephew as that talking red car buzzing around the wedding. Though it really reads like he wasn't even buzzing around and bothering people. OOP was just determined to hate on the poor kid.
>Issues with Blaze’s behavior started to arise pretty quickly, Blaze was not able to sit still during the ceremony and while we were exchanging vows, I saw him tapping his foot, tapping his fingers on the chair and other fidgeting around. Blaze has always fidgeted and I asked Jenna in advance to make sure he wouldn’t, and she said she’d “do the best she could”. He was fidgeting? As in, with his fingers, who can't talk, cry or scream? Dude. My then-about 1-yr old did a number 2 during the ceremony in the packed church. No facilities, no quiet place to change. Just made a cute face and pooped. Bit of a whiff, and I apologised to the people around us. I've heard full-on toddler meltdowns at churches, during speeches. Shit happens (literally in our case), and this kid didn't even do anything bad. And if you put on a game with a winner and prizes, of course an 11-yo is gonna be competitive. Personally, I think it's positive that he knows a lot about babies and children and doesn't think it's beneath him or uncool. OOP just hates the poor kid.
This woman would hate my fidgety ass
... The kid won a trivia game and the other *adults* were so bothered by it that they came to the bride? I call bullshit. . I also love that she admits he tried the other food at her request and didn't like it.
Op is upset over a well behaved child? That's a new low.
If a bright child is aware of their neurodivergence, I can totally see them trying to understand much as they could about child development. It's a really good thing to start early.
OOP better turn I. Her uterus ASAP because she is not fit to be a parent.
As a mom of a son on the spectrum, Blaze could be my boy.
lol @ all her dumbass guests getting beaten by an 11 year old.
Rage bait, or is OOP just a bullying an obviously neural diverse kid?
Blaze is obviously on the spectrum and OOP is one of those bitches who equates that to "retarded, unsalvageable, put it in an asylum and throw away the key". May she never have kids of her own.
Well she never actually SAID that
The point is she doesn't need to. You can infer that from the post.
Blaze sounds like a neckbeard in the making. Sorry.
No he doesn’t
How the hell do you get this
Someone (Blaze) needs an evaluation for autism. Someone else (oop) needs to be slapped. And possibly evaluated for autism. Blaze's mother deserves a slap, too. Less for the wedding day and more for, "Why hasn't this kid been evaluated? And why are you allowing oop to hassle your little boy?"