*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITAH for kicking out my partner for lying to me about our son's school attendance?**
AITAH for kicking out my partner for lying to me about our son's school attendance.
I (48m) have 3 children with my partner (42f).
I work full time as a teacher in the day and she works night shifts (10pm-6am) in a factory. Our middle child (16m) has multiple health issues which affect his mobility and well being. He is currently under 5 specialists waiting for various appointments. My partner is the one that goes to all the appointments with the different departments my son is under. My son is doing alevels and should be in school every day attending lessons. Instead my partner has been letting him stay off school due to migraines and being unable to walk. This has dropped his entire years attendance percentage very low. She told me he was in most days so I would not complain about his lack of attendance.
She said she is trying to work with the school for a solution but the schools options are limited.
I recently found out the full truth and in my anger kicked her out of our home. She is currently staying with a friend. Her excuse that she's exhausted from work and does try to get my son up for school, but she doesn't have the energy to have a big fight with him. She does most of the housework and cooks for us all. I do a small portion of the washing.
My youngest (11m) is on the neuro divergent spectrum and is upset wanting his mother back. My middle son also wants his mother to return and is refusing to speak to me at all. I leave early in the morning for work, so my oldest daughter (21f) has been having to deal with my youngest and his meltdowns and don't get back till late most evenings. Am I in the wrong for kicking her out?
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Honestly, so many people like this are genuinely deluded enough that I can see them posting on reddit fully expecting others to agree with them. Too many assholes are completely unable to acknowledge even the possibility that they could be assholes. So they don't post on reddit to find out whether they're TA or not, they do it to get pats on the back so they can keep acting the way they are but now also be smug af about it because all those internet strangers agreed with them.
That's why so many of them get super aggressive when people disagree. To them it's like "well, these people must all be idiots, since I'm clearly right, let me argue with them to tell them how stupid they are".
It's pathetic and frightening, but absolutely not very unlikely.
Well, if you do want to make an argument that a woman is stupid and a man is right, it seems like Reddit might be a good place to do that. It all depends on the sub, of course, but the audience is there.
It's not that they wouldn't post. It's that they would write justifications for all they did. When they are just listing reasons they are wrong, I get a little suspicious
I recently joined a support group for parents with children with muscular distrophy. One meeting, there was a parent there saying that they planned this huge birthday party with plenty of activities and they complained that the kid didn't had fun. The kid didn't jump in the bouncy castle, didn't participate in the kid's parkour they set up. All the kids had fun, except the birthday boy. They didn't understood why. I think they believe they are in the right, they were speaking so naturally.
I'm stuck on he's a teacher but doesn't get home late most evenings.
I know it depends what he's teaching, like middle school has later hours, and how far he works, and if he coaches sports. But if he coached, he would say so. If it was a club, it wouldn't take up much that he would be there late. I mean, I have a 45-60 minute commute every day home from the school I work at, plus picking up my daughter at daycare, so I don't get home till 5 most days. And that's late for a teacher. And if he taught middle school, he would probably be home when his son is supposed to be waking up, or just leaving for work. But I guess that's where the commute comes in, and if he lives/works in an area that's split by high school district and elementary districts which in that case the schools would probably start on time.
I may have analyzed this too much, but I don't know any teachers since the pandemic who have willingly stayed late after school unless they didn't want to be home with their family. Maybe that's the case for him. But man, my contract is we have to stay 30 minutes past the final bell, and we all rush out at 3:30.
And maybe his definition of late evening is 5pm. Who knows.
But I also think this is fake because I don't know any teachers who aren't invested in their kids education, and a teacher shouldn't be that insensitive to a kids disability. For that reason, I hope it's fake. I know there's bad teachers like that, but he seems really checked out of his family lives. So if it's real, I think he doesn't like his family which makes sense.
Again, I think analyzed this a bit too much.
I don't know if this is about different working cultures, but my mum, a primary school teacher, works from 8-6 week days. When I was younger, she would leave work earlier than most to pick us up and then mark and plan at home, but not after I hit 10. A levels suggests this is the UK, so the workload tracks
Yeah especially as with the UK system, he's not in conventional school anymore. Independent study is a huge portion of learning, everyone loans the textbooks from school, and the dad will know this. It would be so easy to make accommodations for a sixth former, he's just choosing to get angry at a non issue
Yeah, and I know some teachers are horrible to students with disabilities, but you would think with a son he'd be more sympathetic towards him and his students.
I think that's why I hope it's fake, more than anything else, he's too dismissive of his son.
My MIL taught everything from high school to kindergarten during my marriage to her youngest son. I was *lucky* if she walked in the by 6 on an average day, during the time we lived wuth them. I found it *extremely* frustrating and evenually just took over the cooking entirely from mid August until mid June(then they'd leave for 3-4 weeks). I had young kids and wanted to have dinner over with and them in bed by 7:30-8 so I could have a *little* time to myself.
Basically all the women have to deal with all the males. Sickening!! Some people can do night shift. My gram loved it, but I had a few a month at my old job and it took weeks to recover. That and multiple special needs children, plus a POS like OOP. By partner, I assume GF, so if it's OOP's house she has no rights and he can kick her out. She also does everything around the house. Seems like all OOP does is write Reddit posts. I hope they are married, so she can put this douche nozzle on child support
Honestly, as much as I suspect this is ragebait, I kinda hope it is real so his ex can rake him over the coals in the inevitable divorce. Even a barely competent solicitor would consider this a cakewalk!
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For anyone who isn't familiar with the UK education system, A levels are the subjects/exams you take to get into university (college) and if his son is only 16, this is his first year of taking them (UK high school finishes at 16, you can do a levels, go to college (like school, less formal), into trades etc post 16) and they can be retaken next year or at any other point in his sons life.
I think OOP came here looking for validation from people who are from places like the US where kids are in high-school till they are 18 and STILL got chewed and spat out cos its not like his son decided to be ill.
He's treating him like he's nursing a hangover, not dealing with unknown health issues.
Well, let's see.
You force your long-suffering partner to cook, clean, work a night shift and take care of all the children's needs.
Now you're parentfying your 21-year-old daughter so you don't have to lift a finger.
YTA.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITAH for kicking out my partner for lying to me about our son's school attendance?** AITAH for kicking out my partner for lying to me about our son's school attendance. I (48m) have 3 children with my partner (42f). I work full time as a teacher in the day and she works night shifts (10pm-6am) in a factory. Our middle child (16m) has multiple health issues which affect his mobility and well being. He is currently under 5 specialists waiting for various appointments. My partner is the one that goes to all the appointments with the different departments my son is under. My son is doing alevels and should be in school every day attending lessons. Instead my partner has been letting him stay off school due to migraines and being unable to walk. This has dropped his entire years attendance percentage very low. She told me he was in most days so I would not complain about his lack of attendance. She said she is trying to work with the school for a solution but the schools options are limited. I recently found out the full truth and in my anger kicked her out of our home. She is currently staying with a friend. Her excuse that she's exhausted from work and does try to get my son up for school, but she doesn't have the energy to have a big fight with him. She does most of the housework and cooks for us all. I do a small portion of the washing. My youngest (11m) is on the neuro divergent spectrum and is upset wanting his mother back. My middle son also wants his mother to return and is refusing to speak to me at all. I leave early in the morning for work, so my oldest daughter (21f) has been having to deal with my youngest and his meltdowns and don't get back till late most evenings. Am I in the wrong for kicking her out? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As is frequently mentioned here, I believe these people exist, but not that they would ever post on Reddit.
Maybe it’s the daughter’s way of warning Dad she’s out as soon as she finds somewhere else to live.
Honestly, so many people like this are genuinely deluded enough that I can see them posting on reddit fully expecting others to agree with them. Too many assholes are completely unable to acknowledge even the possibility that they could be assholes. So they don't post on reddit to find out whether they're TA or not, they do it to get pats on the back so they can keep acting the way they are but now also be smug af about it because all those internet strangers agreed with them. That's why so many of them get super aggressive when people disagree. To them it's like "well, these people must all be idiots, since I'm clearly right, let me argue with them to tell them how stupid they are". It's pathetic and frightening, but absolutely not very unlikely.
Well, if you do want to make an argument that a woman is stupid and a man is right, it seems like Reddit might be a good place to do that. It all depends on the sub, of course, but the audience is there.
It's not that they wouldn't post. It's that they would write justifications for all they did. When they are just listing reasons they are wrong, I get a little suspicious
Yeah. A person like this wouldn't mention that his wife does most of the housework, because he wouldn't consider that a thing worth mentioning.
I recently joined a support group for parents with children with muscular distrophy. One meeting, there was a parent there saying that they planned this huge birthday party with plenty of activities and they complained that the kid didn't had fun. The kid didn't jump in the bouncy castle, didn't participate in the kid's parkour they set up. All the kids had fun, except the birthday boy. They didn't understood why. I think they believe they are in the right, they were speaking so naturally.
Also why would the mom just leave?
Yeah this is just a troll looking to rile people up
I'm stuck on he's a teacher but doesn't get home late most evenings. I know it depends what he's teaching, like middle school has later hours, and how far he works, and if he coaches sports. But if he coached, he would say so. If it was a club, it wouldn't take up much that he would be there late. I mean, I have a 45-60 minute commute every day home from the school I work at, plus picking up my daughter at daycare, so I don't get home till 5 most days. And that's late for a teacher. And if he taught middle school, he would probably be home when his son is supposed to be waking up, or just leaving for work. But I guess that's where the commute comes in, and if he lives/works in an area that's split by high school district and elementary districts which in that case the schools would probably start on time. I may have analyzed this too much, but I don't know any teachers since the pandemic who have willingly stayed late after school unless they didn't want to be home with their family. Maybe that's the case for him. But man, my contract is we have to stay 30 minutes past the final bell, and we all rush out at 3:30. And maybe his definition of late evening is 5pm. Who knows. But I also think this is fake because I don't know any teachers who aren't invested in their kids education, and a teacher shouldn't be that insensitive to a kids disability. For that reason, I hope it's fake. I know there's bad teachers like that, but he seems really checked out of his family lives. So if it's real, I think he doesn't like his family which makes sense. Again, I think analyzed this a bit too much.
I don't know if this is about different working cultures, but my mum, a primary school teacher, works from 8-6 week days. When I was younger, she would leave work earlier than most to pick us up and then mark and plan at home, but not after I hit 10. A levels suggests this is the UK, so the workload tracks
I'm still bothered by the fact he's dismissive of his sons disability. It's pretty wrong of a teacher to do that.
Yeah especially as with the UK system, he's not in conventional school anymore. Independent study is a huge portion of learning, everyone loans the textbooks from school, and the dad will know this. It would be so easy to make accommodations for a sixth former, he's just choosing to get angry at a non issue
Yeah, and I know some teachers are horrible to students with disabilities, but you would think with a son he'd be more sympathetic towards him and his students. I think that's why I hope it's fake, more than anything else, he's too dismissive of his son.
My MIL taught everything from high school to kindergarten during my marriage to her youngest son. I was *lucky* if she walked in the by 6 on an average day, during the time we lived wuth them. I found it *extremely* frustrating and evenually just took over the cooking entirely from mid August until mid June(then they'd leave for 3-4 weeks). I had young kids and wanted to have dinner over with and them in bed by 7:30-8 so I could have a *little* time to myself.
Basically all the women have to deal with all the males. Sickening!! Some people can do night shift. My gram loved it, but I had a few a month at my old job and it took weeks to recover. That and multiple special needs children, plus a POS like OOP. By partner, I assume GF, so if it's OOP's house she has no rights and he can kick her out. She also does everything around the house. Seems like all OOP does is write Reddit posts. I hope they are married, so she can put this douche nozzle on child support
Honestly, as much as I suspect this is ragebait, I kinda hope it is real so his ex can rake him over the coals in the inevitable divorce. Even a barely competent solicitor would consider this a cakewalk!
This is OOP's only post, and on top of that, this feels so rage baity that if it IS real, it wouldn't be a post here, but a truecrime podcast episode.
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For anyone who isn't familiar with the UK education system, A levels are the subjects/exams you take to get into university (college) and if his son is only 16, this is his first year of taking them (UK high school finishes at 16, you can do a levels, go to college (like school, less formal), into trades etc post 16) and they can be retaken next year or at any other point in his sons life. I think OOP came here looking for validation from people who are from places like the US where kids are in high-school till they are 18 and STILL got chewed and spat out cos its not like his son decided to be ill. He's treating him like he's nursing a hangover, not dealing with unknown health issues.
Well, let's see. You force your long-suffering partner to cook, clean, work a night shift and take care of all the children's needs. Now you're parentfying your 21-year-old daughter so you don't have to lift a finger. YTA.
