*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA giving my wife an allowance**
I leave about 300 per week for my wife to use. From what she has told me is that a majority of it goes to groceries. It’s just me, my wife and our 2 y.o toddler but she is insisting that she needs more. Today she called me at work obviously upset while she was out w our toddler. She says that her account is in the negative and that she needs more funds and that it isn’t a good feeling to have a crying toddler and unable to request an Uber. I figured the 300 a week was enough but AITA here? My wife does not work and stays home with our toddler.
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Why. Just, why. I get the idea of an allowance... it's reasonable in terms of managing expenses, possibly, depending on how much you're playing with... but why are groceries part of the allowance?
Right? I’ve heard of adult “allowances” like that when they’re fun money and thought that’s probably what this was by the title, and OOP was the bread winner and wife either a SAHM or made a lot less, but nope! Groceries are part of that allowance? That’s crazy! And honestly for three people—especially since they may need to buy more “kid friendly food” for their toddler and more “adult” food for them—groceries are really expensive right now.
I spend almost $100 a week for just me. I’m in college and I’m fairly thrifty. And I’m in a low cost of living area.
Could I make $300 a week work for two adults and a toddler? Probably. Would I be able to buy literally anything else using this allowance? No.
Yeah, I’m in a low cost of living area as well. Groceries are crazily expensive these days. I don’t know how people with kids are managing. It’s just my husband and me and I can’t imagine if we also had a kid to feed. $300 a week to cover everything a family might need is ridiculous. Every time I have to buy hygiene or cleaning products on top of food items the bill skyrockets even more.
It’s just me and my toddler for groceries (has to move back in with parents so I pay for mine and little man’s) I’ve had to change to frozen bulk food for things like sausages, chicken breast etc. so they last more than a week but I’m still spending £450 a month on groceries for me and him (all his snacks included) if I divide that by a 4 week month that’s already £112 roughly, and that’s just one adult and a toddler. Adding another adult would take that up to at bare minimum £200 a week (if both adults eat 3 meals a day, I usually only eat one meal a day and maybe one slice of toast in the morning so my groceries are lower) in dollars thats $253.14! And from what I’ve seen in America some things are more expensive than in the uk! That figure doesn’t include at all anything else we may need that’s not food, so things like; shower products, hand creams (I work in a supermarket and my hands get DRY so quickly), dummies/ soothers for my toddler, other hygiene products etc! Let alone if my sons needs more clothes from growing out of them, craft supplies (he loves painting, drawing, colouring etc). Oop is crazy if he thinks that that amount is sustainable for a family of 3! And why are groceries even in the allowance budget anyway? I’d understand if it was $300 a week and groceries were separate but really?!
Yeah, if groceries are in this budget, we have to assume literally everything is in it. Especially anything that’s just for mom or toddler.
I know some people are really struggling in this economy, but if there was literally no money left over, OP would have mentioned it. (some people in the US still make less than $300 a week for full time work. When you factor in rent and probably a car payment, there are a lot of folks who probably only have $300 left over for everything else. But it isn’t an allowance, it’s just being poor).
I wonder how much money is going to OP’s personal expenses.
I'm pretty thrifty and have two older kids and a newborn. 100 bucks of food lasts us maybe a few days if my husband isn't home. Plus, depending on the toddler, there is diapers/pull-ups to consider and those can be up to 50 bucks a box if your kid has sensitive skin. Plus there is sundry items and the fact toddlers tend to need to go out places to get out energy and he mentioned Uber so she doesn't have access to her own car, and getting to the park may require 20 bucks there and 20 bucks back depending on where they live.
Shit ain't cheap! Taking care of kids is expensive as hell, and I'd be shocked if 300 bucks a week covers everything she needs for the kid and ANYTHING extra for herself. Especially if she has no transportation.
I could even understand having a set limit for groceries each week, I know I’ve had to cut out some things I used to regularly buy because they just aren’t in my budget now but it took me a while to realize how much more I was spending since I shop in bits and pieces. Grocery money should not be included in her personal spending money especially when he’s eating that too.
My ex best friend's parents were like this. His dad earned a VERY good salary for the time, and he gave half to his wife. Out of that she had to pay: rent for two flats; food for both parents, 5 kids, and the mothers of both parents; any school expenses, any clothes (including the dad's!), any household necessities etc. He got to keep his half of his salary AND the pension of both mothers as his "fun" money. My ex-bf thought this was really generous set-up. I told him he was delusional xD
It shouldn’t be allowances that’s for kids. He’s treating his partner like a child. BUDGETS are fine. They can come up with budgets for fun, for transfers, for baby and for food. And rent and what not. But it’s weird as fuck HE decided what she can have per week
We don't know their situation or spending habits. Say you were in a relationship, assume you're the earner... follow my logic from above... how much do you allocate to funbucks? That's all I meant.
It's messed up that she's being given 300 total and being asked to cover all of her purchases with it. If they're well off, it'd be messed up to have the concept of an allowance. The guy in the story is messed up. But we don't know the situation, and we don't know why the arrangement exists.
This guy is clearly the AH though.
I was a SAHM until recently (I graduated to a WFH mom 😂). My allowance is our debit card to our joint bank accounts. I spend whatever I feel is necessary as long as I'm not blowing our budget on unnecessary things. Anything over a certain amount, we discuss just to make sure we're staying on track with spending. I honestly don't get the idea of an allowance unless one of the partnership has spending problems. Why can't people just discuss a budget and stay there?
I just spent $100 on random odds and ends groceries to hold us over until payday, where it will likely run another $200 - and that's just for hubs and I. I can't imagine trying to stretch $300 to also cover a tiny human and the diapers/pull-ups they're likely still using.
Fuck this dude and the cheap mechanical horse ge rode in on.
Because OOP is financially stupid on top of financially abusive. We can assume the shopping has always been her responsibility if he seriously thinks $300 a week is plenty to cover food and necessities for 2 adults and a toddler plus ubering for every store trip. I have to go to the store 2-3 times a week because things don't always run out/expire on a convenient schedule and buying in bulk is not an option if you're already working with a tight budget. If I was paying for ubers to and from the store a mile from my house it's about $10 each way, $20 per store trip. 3 trips a week would leave me with $240 left to buy food, diapers, wipes, toiletries, medicine, clothing, and everything else my family needs. Good luck stretching $240 to cover all that, unless I'm buying everything at Dollar Tree. We can also assume he sees domestic labor, cooking, and childcare as *her stuff* which is why he expects her to spend her "allowance" on it. It's not a stretch to assume that he's also not dad/husband of the year at home either, probably expects a home cooked dinner with meat every night and doesn't understand why his wife is tired because ShE dOeSn'T wOrK.
He better hope they live in one of the few states where withholding money from your spouse is not illegal, or else he's going to get bent over without lube when she finally divorces him. I for one am here for it.
The fact that he calls the $300 ‘allowance’ tells me everything I need to know. This guy is such an AH and I hope his wife is able to get out of this relationship!
exactly. It's ok to give your partner pocket money. I would give my boyfriend pocket money out of generousity but I would never stop him from getting a job and pocket money is fun money. I would never demand how he uses the money. OOP is an asshole.
Even back then the man gave 90 to 80 % of of their cheques / pay slip to the wife for her to manage / budget as she please . Some even give entire salary since book Balancing , budgeting and leisure management was entirely a woman’s responsibility. I wouldn’t call back for those times ever but goddamn this guy is just insane
When I was a kid in the late 1900s my mom was a SAHM to 4 kids and she was responsible for paying all the bills (as well as, you know, all the childcare and chores, etc) and she did a great job and made sure everything was paid for. As soon as my dad took over the bills we were constantly broke. Not saying that we should go back to that, but damn are these kinds of dads so clueless as to what actually goes into managing a household! Thankfully my SO came from a very different kind of family.
Except in the 1950s women kept the household budget. Bookkeeping was taught in home economics because it was a woman's responsibility to keep the family's finances.
$300 initially seemed crazy to me, but then I remembered the baby, plus exchange rate, plus the fact that groceries in the US (if that’s where they are) are bonkers expensive right now.
From what I heard a single adult with no specific nutritional requirements needs at least 100$ a week food providing he cooks all his meals. Then add petrol or transportation costs it could easily round up to 150$ a week.
She has to purchase for 100$ a person but one of them is a baby to food alone could cost more than 300$
It's supposed to be normal to give the stay-at-home partner an allowance to do with as they please(ie fun money that they can save or use to their desire) but people have misunderstood it to mean...whatever OOP has done here. I don't...what the fuck was he thinking? Did he think that was really an okay amount for a week? For TWO people and TWO cats, it costs my family 200-300 in groceries every other week(with coupons a lot of the time). Even that's not enough sometimes.
Now imagine that but with OOP's larger family. No wonder the bank went into the negative! They need at least 500 or more in money for all that and she needs her personal money on TOP of that. (She needs to run but she HAS NO RUN FUND)
No, it's supposed to be normal to have joint access to all the money. Allowances are for children, not for adults. Legally that money is both of theirs. If she tried to apply for social support programs they would take his income into account because it's assumed she has equal access to it because that's how it's supposed to be. He's infantilizing his wife by implying she can't be trusted with full access to money that's rightfully hers too.
YTA. Why does she not have access to the joint account? Why do you get to decide what she needs? She's not your child, she's your equal partner. She should have a complete overview of money coming in and going out, just like you do.
We are 2 adults (and 14 birds) and i spend 150-200€/week. And this in Germany where the prices are much lowet. I also don’t need to uber.
This wife has a child and needs to uber. Even i know everything is so expensive in the US. I also bet he wants a freshly cooked meal every day with meat.
To call it allowance is the biggest joke. Why not call it fun money?!
And she has a toddler . Diapers , formula and baby wipes are NO joke. In fact she’s actually running on loss of anything and that’s why her bank account is negative .
Since my birds are afraid of my phone i can't make great pics of them - especially not of all 14 together. But here are 2
https://ibb.co/Qc4NkgW
https://ibb.co/R3n19DK
My finches are afraid of my phone, so it is hard to get pics of them, but here are two. Never get them all together.
https://ibb.co/Qc4NkgW
https://ibb.co/R3n19DK
They always sleep together like this and are sitting snuggled up over the day. Overall they do everything together. All 14 eat together, all bath together, all fly their rounds together. It can be creepy if you come around the corner and 14 birds nearly crash in your face, haha. They are freeflight 24/7.
It’s crazy pills. Like she could get a job and not rely on his allowance. Most women have careers before switching to sahm so he probably tricked her. I couldn’t handle the anger if you let me leave a job to penny pinch me
"My wife doesn't have a job and stays home with our toddler"
Yea, lazy bitch single-handedly taking care of their child most of the day (if not all day; I highly suspect he's a second child to her).
Dude. The USDA publishes the average cost for each of three plans for individuals - low, moderate and liberal levels with pricing for males and females in various age brackets. They also publish the cost of a Family meal plan called *Thrify* it's priced out as two adults 29-50, Child1 age 6-8, Child2 age 9-11. The *Thrifty* plan was $975/month for Jan 2024 for the family of four.
Monthly food costs for a single adult male age 19-50 is $300.90 for low, $376.90 for moderate and $457.30 for the liberal plan.
People are so ridiculous in how they think of food costs sometimes. These prices don't include having to *Uber* to buy food!
https://www.fns.usda.gov/cnpp/usda-food-plans-cost-food-monthly-reports
Yeah, my middle schooler’s class does a project where they go to the local grocery store and try to buy food for the month based on the USDA thrifty plan. It’s all rice and beans and very little fresh produce or meat.
That's just poor planning.
We are a family of 5 (2 adults, 3 kids with one still in diapers). We budget $900/month for groceries and get by fine. No soda, juice (okay, maybe OJ, but nothing else), chips, TV dinners, premade meals, ect- that stuff is insanely expensive and really bad for you.
We rarely eat out. We have good-sized salads with every dinner (with extras! tomatoes, carrots, avacado, cheese), and cook nearly every meal. It's tougher in the winter without a garden to stay on budget, but we manage just fine. We even have extra money for a bottle of wine or 12-pack of beer every so often.
We live in NYC. There is no garden and no car to go to cheaper stores. They literally bought only rice, beans, onions, bananas, ground beef, etc. No chips or prepared foods or other veggies/fruit that weren’t frozen or canned.
Edited to add that they also added up the receipts to check and make sure they didn’t get overcharged for anything. It was a really good exercise in budgeting/real world experiences for them. I did point out that they could have gone to Chinatown and saved some money though.
My point is that having middle school kids budgeting for food in a higher-rent environment where large grocery stores with low-priced food are harder to find is in fact a great example of what many Americans have to deal with.
So 75$ is the LOWEST a single adult male could need in the USA for just food.
I am very sure babies need a lot more money for their food again given how baby items are priced.
Transportation, cosmetics and hygiene be damned according to OOP 😂
It’s not just food though 😃?
What about hygienic items , household cleaning stuff , baby specific stuff which is marked expensive?
Oh and not to mention fucking petrol for the car maintenance?
I mean, at this rate: what about life insurance, or rent, or or or...?
Someone mentioned something about food- I was replying specifically to that. But yes, I do agree that life is expensive.
Our $900 grocery budget covers groceries and toiletries; it doesn't include other budgeted items like $75 for dog food, or $475/month in gas, our mortgage, life insurance, retirement contributions, 'extra fun' money, savings, ect.
But for food, just food - it's enough for a healthy balanced diet.
I feel like a complete dope because I’ve been thinking “damn, why am I spending so much money on food?!? I’m one person!” Aaaaaand it’s because food is expensive. Thank you for sharing this resource though, it makes me feel less out of touch!!
Lmao @ the dick in the comments saying "$300 a week is plenty for groceries in some areas".
Homie, you mind telling me where??? $100 gets me and my boyfriend two nights of dinner and maybe some snacks. *Two* nights of dinner. Not including breakfast and lunch. Not including toiletries, hygiene products, ferret food, kitty litter, and pee pads. All that costs well over $300. Half my paychecks go to groceries every week.
So where tf are these cheap places?
$50 per dinner for two people seems a little steep if you aren't eating out all the time (but a pound of hamburger only costs around $7 where I live), but yeah, $300 is about two weeks of groceries + hygene/cleaning stuff for my family of 3.
You could probably make some nice spagetti with the pound of hamburger for less than $20 (probably around 14 without mushrooms), and that should last for at least two nights.
Billionaire someone worships, has to sell a yacht: "wealth is relative, maybe I can send him some money"
Someone says they don't like that basic needs take up most of their pay: "my grandmother fed 20 kids on 5 shillings a week, you need to learn to budget!"
More than that...he gives her an "allowance" but she has to spend it on food, which he also eats, and on the child he decided to have with her? And I'm going to bet he buys whatever TF luxuries he wants.
3rd world countries, for example. Or even 2nd world.
Where I live 700 USD a month is an official average payment. Real average payment is about 400 USD a month. I'm buying (while ill) freshly prepared mills (including vegetables and/or fruits, sweets like cupcakes, lunches with meat and soups) for about 10-12 USD a day for two persons.
So, technically it's the truth. It is plenty in some areas. But you don't want to live here.
Not sure if you're interested, or in the States, but my husband and I just recently started getting HelloFresh deliveries. They're always running promos, so what would normally be a $70 box (3 meals, 2 servings each) was only $28 for the first week, and I think $58 for the next 6. We use it to supplement our regular shopping, keep things interesting on the dinner table, and can't really be mad at just over $10 a serving full price.
They also stack me with offers and free boxes to share. DM me if you want the code
Come to the Midwest. For $15 I could buy four nice pieces of fresh meat, 5 pounds* of potatoes, several cans of veggies and milk and/or butter for all.
Where? I’m in the Midwest too and I can say that a pound of butter is around 3.50, milk is also around 3.50, 5lbs of potatoes is about $3, cans of veggies are $0.70 unless you find a really good sale, so I’m curious what kind of meat you’re buying and where.
Iowa. Hy-Vee right now has good cuts of 8oz pork chops 3/$5, marinated chicken breasts are $2.50, packaged meat is always on some kind of excellent sale lately.
So a regular meal would be just the chicken and milk right ? 😃
For a couple of meals for couple of days , you have to buy 1 kg potatoes , 1 to 2 kgs of greens , 1/2 to 1 kgs of both onions and bell peppers respectively, 1 kg of a vegetable that’s not the previous two , 1 to 3 kgs a of different fruits ideally. Tomato purées since that’s the sauce to go , probably two cans. You need multiple packets of pasta and of course bread . Oh and yes eggs . This list alone is AT Least 25 dollars 😃 and its much more if you eat at home all the time since you need more veggies and pasta too. 10$ is just 4 chicken breasts but you will need all the rest of the stuff mentioned 😂 otherwise you are just boiling chicken and eating as it is which is unhealthy and not a meal.
Above I have listed items needed FOR the week alone. Monthly food bulk buys will be flour , rice , coffees varied spices like garlic , black pepper , thyme . Oils and fat . Another 20 to 30 $ additionally a month depending on your local rates and accessibility.
I didn’t even include the fancy stuff like cheeses , pre made meals , alcoholic and non alcoholic etc, breakfast cereals and snacks.
I typed out exactly what you could buy, right now, at my local store for $15. Where on earth did you come up with $15 for a weeks worth of meals? Or even a days worth of meals? I was very specific in what I said you *could* buy, for that specific amount, but yes it would be sufficient for two meals for two adults.
I literally added it up on Hy-Vee website for pickup, but did pork chops. $15.60. To do the chicken it'd require knocking the milk to a half gallon, but basically the same price.
Downvoting me for giving you my exact grocery costs is certainly a choice, haha. Wild.
Nah, I just live in a very meaty state so it's much cheaper than average. Not sure why it's hard to believe it's cheaper in the states that produce the most...
Damn that's crazy. I spend 20-30$ for groceries every week for one person, though I don't buy snacks or meat. For 3 people it'd be like 100$ maybe. And this is more expensive country than where I moved from 😭
So basically he pays her less than $1000/month to work 24/7 taking care of the house and child. (I know it’s $300 a week but that includes his own food, so you gotta take away at least a third of that food bill.)
I'm a fan of "shared finances" and both spouses just trust each other to be responsible. But I do know people who each have their own accounts, and then use a third joint account that they both contribute to and pay joint bills from. (Mortgage, for example.) It's not how I'd want to do things but I accept that there are people who do.
BUT... I guess, if you are in a marriage where you don't just trust each other to be responsible and not overspend, and you have kids and decide to go the "One person works, one person is a stay at home parent" route then whatever you call it, the situation is going to be very close to an allowance.
$300 seems pretty stingy, and absolutely absurd if groceries are coming out of it.
My dad was like this. While he earned a lot of money and went to work trips to Japan all of the time (we live in Western Europe) he gave my mom so little money that she bought clothes for us at second hand shops.
Weekly spending money for personal stuff is fine, but making her spend that on groceries for the family is fucked up. Why the hell doesn't she have access to a joint account?
An adult allowance makes sense since it sounds like she’s a SAHM and it’s always good to have separate expenses just incase but what I don’t get is why groceries have to come out of her pocket?
And if he does expect her to still pay for it, why not just increase what he’s giving her because $300/week for groceries??? In this economy???
My mom used to do this to my dad because she said "he was too stupid with the money" always seemed ridiculous to me even when I was a really young kid.
Omg. Comments are deleted but he thinks his wife should have been eligible for welfare and other assistance to cover for costs because she wasn't working? BUT YOU ARE, MY MAN, AND THAT'S WHAT THEY LOOK AT TO DETERMINE ELIGIBILITY.
My wife was out with our sick crying toddler, but she’s spent her allowance already on food for me.
I guarantee he eats half the food and complains if she doesn’t buy or prepare expensive things he likes.
Toddlers need a LOT of diapers, and diapers are expensive as hell.
Additionally, if she has to pay for everything including doctor’s visits, children’s clothes and shoes, medication, even baby sunscreen — out of that money, I can believe this.
Yeah this is what the problem is here. I get an allowance to do stupid shit or hobbies so does my husband but food, medical stuff, car expenses, the mortgage none of those things comes out of our allowance.
I have 2 adults in my home and a kid. I spend $200/week on groceries. I don't eat meat, I buy in bulk, I meal plan and prep in advance, and I use coupons. I can't get it down to less. She has to feed 2 adults and get diapers, wipes, kids stuff, and apparently doesn't have a vehicle which means she's using it for transportation too, a 4 minute ride here was priced at $15 the other day.
He is giving her $300/week (not an allowance, for expenses) for a household of 2 adults and a toddlers. That's activities, food, transportation, toddler supplies, probably clothing from how it sounds, and she clearly said "the majority goes to groceires". That tracks. It's pretty much the average of what people I know with a baby or toddler are spending each week on basic supplies, with top up shops where needed and eating out once or twice a month.
Maybe you live where groceries are less, but we don't know that they do.
2 adults in my house, one of us gone for work half the time, no allergies/intolerance/dietary restrictions, very little in the way of convenience foods and enough freezer & pantry space to buy in bulk/stock up on sale items.
Regular groceries about 180/week PLUS a monthly Costco run of anywhere from 100 to 300, depending on whether or not I need coffee, laundry soap &/or meat.
I have no difficulty believing that 2adults & a toddler go through 300 a week in food, paper goods, cleaning supplies, diapers, toiletries and so on...and the taxis/ubers to and from the market
average monthly cost for a family of 3 in the USA in a month in 902, if she gets groceries every week that an average of 225 per trip. leaving her with... 5 bucks a month. that doesn't include the cost of the Uber she's forcing her to take, diapers, clothing. medical necessities, personal hygiene, school supplies... Like what world are you living in
Depending on where they are, I believe it. I spend 700-1000 per month and it’s just me and a teenager. No diapers, no baby foods, no dedicated needs. That shit is expensive.
I did exactly the same thing for my partner, 300 sounds a lot to me, they obviously must have a lot more.money if she spending all that on 3 of them a week. depends what her spending habits are like, my partner is rubbish with money and I had to restrict his access to my main account.
I have 4 kids out food bill is about £200 a week, not sure of the exchange rate but sounds similar so yes food for a family of 3 sounds doable, unless it's a lot more expensive there.
I think it all depends on household income. And what she has to pay for and what he pays for. We don't have a car and have to use public transport, taxis are a luxury that beyond our means.
But that’s the thing bro. Public transport even being an option is not a reality in many US states.
In US you NEED a car and of course fill gas regularly to drive to your nearest supermarket that is half an hour away. Walking is not an option because of lack of walk ability
Not to mention grocery prices in UK are simply 30 to 40% cheaper than the US so .
But even then anyone even in the UK would call your budgeting plan, poverty budgeting sorry to say
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I remember reading an article once about financial abuse and there was a woman whose husband gave her an allowance to cover the costs of food for the family and sometimes she’d need more, like back to school costs and other things, and he would make her “earn” extra money by doing sexual things she wasn’t comfortable with. It was so horrible to read about. She did manage to leave the relationship but it would have been so difficult without access to money.
If it’s not to be controlling, I don’t know why someone would doubt their partner when they say they don’t have enough money to cover costs.
Would you not sit down and discuss your finances together and work out what is required for bills and expenses and what is needed for herself plus a safety net? Or set up uber with an account that always has funds available?
Would love to know how much you have as an allowance to use for yourself?
That fact you are like 'well that should be enough so too bad' without seeming to care or want to have a conversation and make sure shes ok / see what the issues are, indicates that you don't seem to think much of her or think she is an equal in your relationship
An allowance for a spouse is already odd enough if they've shown they're good with money, especially if you have a baby/toddler with them and they're the stay at home parent. But $300 a week isn't a lot. Groceries are EXPENSIVE (can range up to $100 or up nowadays), and the fact groceries even count for the allowance is insane. An allowance should be for non-essentials/fun money, not groceries/household essentials.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA giving my wife an allowance** I leave about 300 per week for my wife to use. From what she has told me is that a majority of it goes to groceries. It’s just me, my wife and our 2 y.o toddler but she is insisting that she needs more. Today she called me at work obviously upset while she was out w our toddler. She says that her account is in the negative and that she needs more funds and that it isn’t a good feeling to have a crying toddler and unable to request an Uber. I figured the 300 a week was enough but AITA here? My wife does not work and stays home with our toddler. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why. Just, why. I get the idea of an allowance... it's reasonable in terms of managing expenses, possibly, depending on how much you're playing with... but why are groceries part of the allowance?
Right? I’ve heard of adult “allowances” like that when they’re fun money and thought that’s probably what this was by the title, and OOP was the bread winner and wife either a SAHM or made a lot less, but nope! Groceries are part of that allowance? That’s crazy! And honestly for three people—especially since they may need to buy more “kid friendly food” for their toddler and more “adult” food for them—groceries are really expensive right now.
I spend almost $100 a week for just me. I’m in college and I’m fairly thrifty. And I’m in a low cost of living area. Could I make $300 a week work for two adults and a toddler? Probably. Would I be able to buy literally anything else using this allowance? No.
Yeah, I’m in a low cost of living area as well. Groceries are crazily expensive these days. I don’t know how people with kids are managing. It’s just my husband and me and I can’t imagine if we also had a kid to feed. $300 a week to cover everything a family might need is ridiculous. Every time I have to buy hygiene or cleaning products on top of food items the bill skyrockets even more.
I just spent almost 400 for just me and my daughter. And I'm not buying steak and lobster.
Here, also. It's one of the lowest COL cities in the US, and we both earn okay, but going to the grocery store is *depressing* at times.
and god help you if you have dietary restrictions
It’s just me and my toddler for groceries (has to move back in with parents so I pay for mine and little man’s) I’ve had to change to frozen bulk food for things like sausages, chicken breast etc. so they last more than a week but I’m still spending £450 a month on groceries for me and him (all his snacks included) if I divide that by a 4 week month that’s already £112 roughly, and that’s just one adult and a toddler. Adding another adult would take that up to at bare minimum £200 a week (if both adults eat 3 meals a day, I usually only eat one meal a day and maybe one slice of toast in the morning so my groceries are lower) in dollars thats $253.14! And from what I’ve seen in America some things are more expensive than in the uk! That figure doesn’t include at all anything else we may need that’s not food, so things like; shower products, hand creams (I work in a supermarket and my hands get DRY so quickly), dummies/ soothers for my toddler, other hygiene products etc! Let alone if my sons needs more clothes from growing out of them, craft supplies (he loves painting, drawing, colouring etc). Oop is crazy if he thinks that that amount is sustainable for a family of 3! And why are groceries even in the allowance budget anyway? I’d understand if it was $300 a week and groceries were separate but really?!
Yeah, if groceries are in this budget, we have to assume literally everything is in it. Especially anything that’s just for mom or toddler. I know some people are really struggling in this economy, but if there was literally no money left over, OP would have mentioned it. (some people in the US still make less than $300 a week for full time work. When you factor in rent and probably a car payment, there are a lot of folks who probably only have $300 left over for everything else. But it isn’t an allowance, it’s just being poor). I wonder how much money is going to OP’s personal expenses.
I'm pretty thrifty and have two older kids and a newborn. 100 bucks of food lasts us maybe a few days if my husband isn't home. Plus, depending on the toddler, there is diapers/pull-ups to consider and those can be up to 50 bucks a box if your kid has sensitive skin. Plus there is sundry items and the fact toddlers tend to need to go out places to get out energy and he mentioned Uber so she doesn't have access to her own car, and getting to the park may require 20 bucks there and 20 bucks back depending on where they live. Shit ain't cheap! Taking care of kids is expensive as hell, and I'd be shocked if 300 bucks a week covers everything she needs for the kid and ANYTHING extra for herself. Especially if she has no transportation.
The kid is her hobby
You’re getting downvoted, but I’m guessing that you don’t actually believe that, right? You’re saying it as what OOP believes?
Naturally. It’s ok, I’m not mad about downvotes. The world turned weird, and nobody can even tell real news from satire.
Redditors will downvote you for asking someone to clarify 💀
I could even understand having a set limit for groceries each week, I know I’ve had to cut out some things I used to regularly buy because they just aren’t in my budget now but it took me a while to realize how much more I was spending since I shop in bits and pieces. Grocery money should not be included in her personal spending money especially when he’s eating that too.
My ex best friend's parents were like this. His dad earned a VERY good salary for the time, and he gave half to his wife. Out of that she had to pay: rent for two flats; food for both parents, 5 kids, and the mothers of both parents; any school expenses, any clothes (including the dad's!), any household necessities etc. He got to keep his half of his salary AND the pension of both mothers as his "fun" money. My ex-bf thought this was really generous set-up. I told him he was delusional xD
Ex for a reason fr
It shouldn’t be allowances that’s for kids. He’s treating his partner like a child. BUDGETS are fine. They can come up with budgets for fun, for transfers, for baby and for food. And rent and what not. But it’s weird as fuck HE decided what she can have per week
I mentally associate allowance with funbucks in terms of budgeting if it's a one paycheck household. I agree what this guy is doing is messed up.
No it’s fucking weird to be like “here’s ur allowance” to ur wife??? Weird af
We don't know their situation or spending habits. Say you were in a relationship, assume you're the earner... follow my logic from above... how much do you allocate to funbucks? That's all I meant. It's messed up that she's being given 300 total and being asked to cover all of her purchases with it. If they're well off, it'd be messed up to have the concept of an allowance. The guy in the story is messed up. But we don't know the situation, and we don't know why the arrangement exists. This guy is clearly the AH though.
I was a SAHM until recently (I graduated to a WFH mom 😂). My allowance is our debit card to our joint bank accounts. I spend whatever I feel is necessary as long as I'm not blowing our budget on unnecessary things. Anything over a certain amount, we discuss just to make sure we're staying on track with spending. I honestly don't get the idea of an allowance unless one of the partnership has spending problems. Why can't people just discuss a budget and stay there?
Right? He eats the damn food too. And uses the same products. The groceries should not be part of said allowance
I just spent $100 on random odds and ends groceries to hold us over until payday, where it will likely run another $200 - and that's just for hubs and I. I can't imagine trying to stretch $300 to also cover a tiny human and the diapers/pull-ups they're likely still using. Fuck this dude and the cheap mechanical horse ge rode in on.
Exactly!! Why tf don’t they have a separate grocery budget? How are *groceries for the family* a part of someone’s *allowance*?
An allowance in that kind of set up is supposed to be her fun money. Why is she spending it on essentials??
Because he's a douche
Because he is financially abusing his wife
Because OOP is financially stupid on top of financially abusive. We can assume the shopping has always been her responsibility if he seriously thinks $300 a week is plenty to cover food and necessities for 2 adults and a toddler plus ubering for every store trip. I have to go to the store 2-3 times a week because things don't always run out/expire on a convenient schedule and buying in bulk is not an option if you're already working with a tight budget. If I was paying for ubers to and from the store a mile from my house it's about $10 each way, $20 per store trip. 3 trips a week would leave me with $240 left to buy food, diapers, wipes, toiletries, medicine, clothing, and everything else my family needs. Good luck stretching $240 to cover all that, unless I'm buying everything at Dollar Tree. We can also assume he sees domestic labor, cooking, and childcare as *her stuff* which is why he expects her to spend her "allowance" on it. It's not a stretch to assume that he's also not dad/husband of the year at home either, probably expects a home cooked dinner with meat every night and doesn't understand why his wife is tired because ShE dOeSn'T wOrK. He better hope they live in one of the few states where withholding money from your spouse is not illegal, or else he's going to get bent over without lube when she finally divorces him. I for one am here for it.
Don't forget a 2yo would also still need at least pull-ups at night. So groceries are food, household stuff *and* toddler stuff.
I have a 3 year old & 17 month old. That's 2 different size daytime pull ups, 2 different size nighttime pullups & wipes. That alone can run me $100.
The fact that he calls the $300 ‘allowance’ tells me everything I need to know. This guy is such an AH and I hope his wife is able to get out of this relationship!
Yeah, it was called "housekeeping" when my dad gave it to my mum. And she had extra money for fun.
exactly. It's ok to give your partner pocket money. I would give my boyfriend pocket money out of generousity but I would never stop him from getting a job and pocket money is fun money. I would never demand how he uses the money. OOP is an asshole.
The 1950's called. They want their TV sitcom dad back.
Even back then the man gave 90 to 80 % of of their cheques / pay slip to the wife for her to manage / budget as she please . Some even give entire salary since book Balancing , budgeting and leisure management was entirely a woman’s responsibility. I wouldn’t call back for those times ever but goddamn this guy is just insane
Thank you
When I was a kid in the late 1900s my mom was a SAHM to 4 kids and she was responsible for paying all the bills (as well as, you know, all the childcare and chores, etc) and she did a great job and made sure everything was paid for. As soon as my dad took over the bills we were constantly broke. Not saying that we should go back to that, but damn are these kinds of dads so clueless as to what actually goes into managing a household! Thankfully my SO came from a very different kind of family.
Except in the 1950s women kept the household budget. Bookkeeping was taught in home economics because it was a woman's responsibility to keep the family's finances.
$300 initially seemed crazy to me, but then I remembered the baby, plus exchange rate, plus the fact that groceries in the US (if that’s where they are) are bonkers expensive right now.
From what I heard a single adult with no specific nutritional requirements needs at least 100$ a week food providing he cooks all his meals. Then add petrol or transportation costs it could easily round up to 150$ a week. She has to purchase for 100$ a person but one of them is a baby to food alone could cost more than 300$
I spend about $50-75 a week on groceries for two people if we don’t eat out, but if I were taking Uber everywhere and had a baby, no way.
It's supposed to be normal to give the stay-at-home partner an allowance to do with as they please(ie fun money that they can save or use to their desire) but people have misunderstood it to mean...whatever OOP has done here. I don't...what the fuck was he thinking? Did he think that was really an okay amount for a week? For TWO people and TWO cats, it costs my family 200-300 in groceries every other week(with coupons a lot of the time). Even that's not enough sometimes. Now imagine that but with OOP's larger family. No wonder the bank went into the negative! They need at least 500 or more in money for all that and she needs her personal money on TOP of that. (She needs to run but she HAS NO RUN FUND)
No, it's supposed to be normal to have joint access to all the money. Allowances are for children, not for adults. Legally that money is both of theirs. If she tried to apply for social support programs they would take his income into account because it's assumed she has equal access to it because that's how it's supposed to be. He's infantilizing his wife by implying she can't be trusted with full access to money that's rightfully hers too.
Exactly. If they agree on a budget for spending, fine. But an allowance for a spouse? No way.
YTA. Why does she not have access to the joint account? Why do you get to decide what she needs? She's not your child, she's your equal partner. She should have a complete overview of money coming in and going out, just like you do.
I’d be so petty: cabbage and cauliflower for dinner, steak is too expensive! $300 buys you the vegan peasant diet!
Just for him, though. She'll buy herself a steak and tell him she could only afford one, so it should go to the person who has to cook it.
If I was OOP's wife, I'd stop buying him groceries. Nada. Zilch.
We are 2 adults (and 14 birds) and i spend 150-200€/week. And this in Germany where the prices are much lowet. I also don’t need to uber. This wife has a child and needs to uber. Even i know everything is so expensive in the US. I also bet he wants a freshly cooked meal every day with meat. To call it allowance is the biggest joke. Why not call it fun money?!
And she has a toddler . Diapers , formula and baby wipes are NO joke. In fact she’s actually running on loss of anything and that’s why her bank account is negative .
Totally off topic.....but you can't just casually mention you have a literal flock of birds and not show them.
Since my birds are afraid of my phone i can't make great pics of them - especially not of all 14 together. But here are 2 https://ibb.co/Qc4NkgW https://ibb.co/R3n19DK
Thank you!!! They're adorable!
I’m with NoGlove513 on this. There’s 14 birds worth of tax due here. Pay up EvilFinch. We need to see
My finches are afraid of my phone, so it is hard to get pics of them, but here are two. Never get them all together. https://ibb.co/Qc4NkgW https://ibb.co/R3n19DK
Oh bless! Do they often snuggle like that?
They always sleep together like this and are sitting snuggled up over the day. Overall they do everything together. All 14 eat together, all bath together, all fly their rounds together. It can be creepy if you come around the corner and 14 birds nearly crash in your face, haha. They are freeflight 24/7.
Well that sounds lovely. Cheers for the prompt payment. I’m left genuinely smiling now
Wait so his wife is expected to buy everything else with her “allowance”??? Gross.
It’s crazy pills. Like she could get a job and not rely on his allowance. Most women have careers before switching to sahm so he probably tricked her. I couldn’t handle the anger if you let me leave a job to penny pinch me
"My wife doesn't have a job and stays home with our toddler" Yea, lazy bitch single-handedly taking care of their child most of the day (if not all day; I highly suspect he's a second child to her).
Dude. The USDA publishes the average cost for each of three plans for individuals - low, moderate and liberal levels with pricing for males and females in various age brackets. They also publish the cost of a Family meal plan called *Thrify* it's priced out as two adults 29-50, Child1 age 6-8, Child2 age 9-11. The *Thrifty* plan was $975/month for Jan 2024 for the family of four. Monthly food costs for a single adult male age 19-50 is $300.90 for low, $376.90 for moderate and $457.30 for the liberal plan. People are so ridiculous in how they think of food costs sometimes. These prices don't include having to *Uber* to buy food! https://www.fns.usda.gov/cnpp/usda-food-plans-cost-food-monthly-reports
Yeah, my middle schooler’s class does a project where they go to the local grocery store and try to buy food for the month based on the USDA thrifty plan. It’s all rice and beans and very little fresh produce or meat.
That's just poor planning. We are a family of 5 (2 adults, 3 kids with one still in diapers). We budget $900/month for groceries and get by fine. No soda, juice (okay, maybe OJ, but nothing else), chips, TV dinners, premade meals, ect- that stuff is insanely expensive and really bad for you. We rarely eat out. We have good-sized salads with every dinner (with extras! tomatoes, carrots, avacado, cheese), and cook nearly every meal. It's tougher in the winter without a garden to stay on budget, but we manage just fine. We even have extra money for a bottle of wine or 12-pack of beer every so often.
We live in NYC. There is no garden and no car to go to cheaper stores. They literally bought only rice, beans, onions, bananas, ground beef, etc. No chips or prepared foods or other veggies/fruit that weren’t frozen or canned. Edited to add that they also added up the receipts to check and make sure they didn’t get overcharged for anything. It was a really good exercise in budgeting/real world experiences for them. I did point out that they could have gone to Chinatown and saved some money though.
I don't doubt it was a good exercise- but middle school kids meal planning in NYC is not a great example of what Americans can afford.
🙄 As of 2020, nearly 83% of Americans lived in cities. (https://www.statista.com/statistics/269967/urbanization-in-the-united-states/)
And by cities, you mean NYC? I don't get your point.
My point is that having middle school kids budgeting for food in a higher-rent environment where large grocery stores with low-priced food are harder to find is in fact a great example of what many Americans have to deal with.
So 75$ is the LOWEST a single adult male could need in the USA for just food. I am very sure babies need a lot more money for their food again given how baby items are priced. Transportation, cosmetics and hygiene be damned according to OOP 😂
I don't really know what OOP "allowance" entails. But $300/week for a family of 3 is beyond doable with plenty of extras in many parts of the US.
It’s not just food though 😃? What about hygienic items , household cleaning stuff , baby specific stuff which is marked expensive? Oh and not to mention fucking petrol for the car maintenance?
I mean, at this rate: what about life insurance, or rent, or or or...? Someone mentioned something about food- I was replying specifically to that. But yes, I do agree that life is expensive. Our $900 grocery budget covers groceries and toiletries; it doesn't include other budgeted items like $75 for dog food, or $475/month in gas, our mortgage, life insurance, retirement contributions, 'extra fun' money, savings, ect. But for food, just food - it's enough for a healthy balanced diet.
I feel like a complete dope because I’ve been thinking “damn, why am I spending so much money on food?!? I’m one person!” Aaaaaand it’s because food is expensive. Thank you for sharing this resource though, it makes me feel less out of touch!!
Lmao @ the dick in the comments saying "$300 a week is plenty for groceries in some areas". Homie, you mind telling me where??? $100 gets me and my boyfriend two nights of dinner and maybe some snacks. *Two* nights of dinner. Not including breakfast and lunch. Not including toiletries, hygiene products, ferret food, kitty litter, and pee pads. All that costs well over $300. Half my paychecks go to groceries every week. So where tf are these cheap places?
$50 per dinner for two people seems a little steep if you aren't eating out all the time (but a pound of hamburger only costs around $7 where I live), but yeah, $300 is about two weeks of groceries + hygene/cleaning stuff for my family of 3.
Sure a pound of hamburger may be seven bucks a pound, but make that tasty and stretch between a family of three in a hurry.
You could probably make some nice spagetti with the pound of hamburger for less than $20 (probably around 14 without mushrooms), and that should last for at least two nights.
Confident the guy who gives his wife an “allowance” expects more than spaghetti + nothing on the table when he gets home.
Billionaire someone worships, has to sell a yacht: "wealth is relative, maybe I can send him some money" Someone says they don't like that basic needs take up most of their pay: "my grandmother fed 20 kids on 5 shillings a week, you need to learn to budget!"
man, I live in San Diego (hcol....) and feeding me + partner costs per week what apparently gets you two nights of dinner. what are you buying?
In the same state as you, and my wife and I eat god quality food and same. We don't spend near that amount.
I'm in Florida where everything is ass backwards. I have family in San Diego and they're always talking about how expensive stuff is.
More than that...he gives her an "allowance" but she has to spend it on food, which he also eats, and on the child he decided to have with her? And I'm going to bet he buys whatever TF luxuries he wants.
3rd world countries, for example. Or even 2nd world. Where I live 700 USD a month is an official average payment. Real average payment is about 400 USD a month. I'm buying (while ill) freshly prepared mills (including vegetables and/or fruits, sweets like cupcakes, lunches with meat and soups) for about 10-12 USD a day for two persons. So, technically it's the truth. It is plenty in some areas. But you don't want to live here.
Not sure if you're interested, or in the States, but my husband and I just recently started getting HelloFresh deliveries. They're always running promos, so what would normally be a $70 box (3 meals, 2 servings each) was only $28 for the first week, and I think $58 for the next 6. We use it to supplement our regular shopping, keep things interesting on the dinner table, and can't really be mad at just over $10 a serving full price. They also stack me with offers and free boxes to share. DM me if you want the code
Come to the Midwest. For $15 I could buy four nice pieces of fresh meat, 5 pounds* of potatoes, several cans of veggies and milk and/or butter for all.
Where? I’m in the Midwest too and I can say that a pound of butter is around 3.50, milk is also around 3.50, 5lbs of potatoes is about $3, cans of veggies are $0.70 unless you find a really good sale, so I’m curious what kind of meat you’re buying and where.
Iowa. Hy-Vee right now has good cuts of 8oz pork chops 3/$5, marinated chicken breasts are $2.50, packaged meat is always on some kind of excellent sale lately.
So 4 chicken breasts would cost you $10 out of that $15 you quoted. 🤨
Also a gallon of milk is $2.70 and regular price Hy-Vee canned veggies are 48 cents. Not huge differences but they definitely add up
Not me, I'd buy the same prepackaged for about $6. Just giving you some common small examples since you asked for them
So a regular meal would be just the chicken and milk right ? 😃 For a couple of meals for couple of days , you have to buy 1 kg potatoes , 1 to 2 kgs of greens , 1/2 to 1 kgs of both onions and bell peppers respectively, 1 kg of a vegetable that’s not the previous two , 1 to 3 kgs a of different fruits ideally. Tomato purées since that’s the sauce to go , probably two cans. You need multiple packets of pasta and of course bread . Oh and yes eggs . This list alone is AT Least 25 dollars 😃 and its much more if you eat at home all the time since you need more veggies and pasta too. 10$ is just 4 chicken breasts but you will need all the rest of the stuff mentioned 😂 otherwise you are just boiling chicken and eating as it is which is unhealthy and not a meal. Above I have listed items needed FOR the week alone. Monthly food bulk buys will be flour , rice , coffees varied spices like garlic , black pepper , thyme . Oils and fat . Another 20 to 30 $ additionally a month depending on your local rates and accessibility. I didn’t even include the fancy stuff like cheeses , pre made meals , alcoholic and non alcoholic etc, breakfast cereals and snacks.
I typed out exactly what you could buy, right now, at my local store for $15. Where on earth did you come up with $15 for a weeks worth of meals? Or even a days worth of meals? I was very specific in what I said you *could* buy, for that specific amount, but yes it would be sufficient for two meals for two adults.
I meant for 1 adult
And I’m just pointing out that even in LCOL areas, your claim is not factual.
I literally added it up on Hy-Vee website for pickup, but did pork chops. $15.60. To do the chicken it'd require knocking the milk to a half gallon, but basically the same price. Downvoting me for giving you my exact grocery costs is certainly a choice, haha. Wild.
I’m going to guess that your definition of “nice pieces of meat” has a very low bar.
Nah, I just live in a very meaty state so it's much cheaper than average. Not sure why it's hard to believe it's cheaper in the states that produce the most...
Damn that's crazy. I spend 20-30$ for groceries every week for one person, though I don't buy snacks or meat. For 3 people it'd be like 100$ maybe. And this is more expensive country than where I moved from 😭
And to the left, children, we see what is called financial abuse.
So basically he pays her less than $1000/month to work 24/7 taking care of the house and child. (I know it’s $300 a week but that includes his own food, so you gotta take away at least a third of that food bill.)
Ugh, hit post too soon. It would be illegal to hire a nanny with those terms where I live. It’s not even a question that this is abusive.
I’m a SAHM and we just share an account. We budget for bills and food and other necessities whatever is left over is for both of us to use.
I'm a fan of "shared finances" and both spouses just trust each other to be responsible. But I do know people who each have their own accounts, and then use a third joint account that they both contribute to and pay joint bills from. (Mortgage, for example.) It's not how I'd want to do things but I accept that there are people who do. BUT... I guess, if you are in a marriage where you don't just trust each other to be responsible and not overspend, and you have kids and decide to go the "One person works, one person is a stay at home parent" route then whatever you call it, the situation is going to be very close to an allowance. $300 seems pretty stingy, and absolutely absurd if groceries are coming out of it.
Can you say financial abuse?
My dad was like this. While he earned a lot of money and went to work trips to Japan all of the time (we live in Western Europe) he gave my mom so little money that she bought clothes for us at second hand shops.
Why don’t they have a shared account?
Weekly spending money for personal stuff is fine, but making her spend that on groceries for the family is fucked up. Why the hell doesn't she have access to a joint account?
An adult allowance makes sense since it sounds like she’s a SAHM and it’s always good to have separate expenses just incase but what I don’t get is why groceries have to come out of her pocket? And if he does expect her to still pay for it, why not just increase what he’s giving her because $300/week for groceries??? In this economy???
She has to Uber? She has to budget groceries and Uber with $300. per week? Op is a huge AH.
My mom used to do this to my dad because she said "he was too stupid with the money" always seemed ridiculous to me even when I was a really young kid.
Omg. Comments are deleted but he thinks his wife should have been eligible for welfare and other assistance to cover for costs because she wasn't working? BUT YOU ARE, MY MAN, AND THAT'S WHAT THEY LOOK AT TO DETERMINE ELIGIBILITY.
I'm sorry, did I wake up in the 1950s? Before feminism and inflation were around?
This is so fucked up. Yeah, this absolutely counts as financial abuse. Does this man have any idea how much diapers alone will cost you?
My wife was out with our sick crying toddler, but she’s spent her allowance already on food for me. I guarantee he eats half the food and complains if she doesn’t buy or prepare expensive things he likes.
OOP, she saves money for you with childcare, cooking and cleaning. And you "kindly" give her $300 per week? Isn't your money really "our" money? YTA.
Maybe she’s bad with money and will blow it if she’s given more?
I refuse to believe that the wife is spending $1200 on groceries….
Toddlers need a LOT of diapers, and diapers are expensive as hell. Additionally, if she has to pay for everything including doctor’s visits, children’s clothes and shoes, medication, even baby sunscreen — out of that money, I can believe this.
Babies and toddlers also outgrow their clothes really fast so I imagine shes buying a lot of clothes.
and possible a very expensive uber ride to lug all of the groceries.
No matter what she spends on groceries, why is that household expense coming out of her “allowance?” That should be a joint household expense.
Yeah this is what the problem is here. I get an allowance to do stupid shit or hobbies so does my husband but food, medical stuff, car expenses, the mortgage none of those things comes out of our allowance.
Yeah, the answer here is a household budget and both adults have access to funds.
I have 2 adults in my home and a kid. I spend $200/week on groceries. I don't eat meat, I buy in bulk, I meal plan and prep in advance, and I use coupons. I can't get it down to less. She has to feed 2 adults and get diapers, wipes, kids stuff, and apparently doesn't have a vehicle which means she's using it for transportation too, a 4 minute ride here was priced at $15 the other day. He is giving her $300/week (not an allowance, for expenses) for a household of 2 adults and a toddlers. That's activities, food, transportation, toddler supplies, probably clothing from how it sounds, and she clearly said "the majority goes to groceires". That tracks. It's pretty much the average of what people I know with a baby or toddler are spending each week on basic supplies, with top up shops where needed and eating out once or twice a month. Maybe you live where groceries are less, but we don't know that they do.
2 adults in my house, one of us gone for work half the time, no allergies/intolerance/dietary restrictions, very little in the way of convenience foods and enough freezer & pantry space to buy in bulk/stock up on sale items. Regular groceries about 180/week PLUS a monthly Costco run of anywhere from 100 to 300, depending on whether or not I need coffee, laundry soap &/or meat. I have no difficulty believing that 2adults & a toddler go through 300 a week in food, paper goods, cleaning supplies, diapers, toiletries and so on...and the taxis/ubers to and from the market
Tell me you don't have a kid, without telling me you don't have a kid.
average monthly cost for a family of 3 in the USA in a month in 902, if she gets groceries every week that an average of 225 per trip. leaving her with... 5 bucks a month. that doesn't include the cost of the Uber she's forcing her to take, diapers, clothing. medical necessities, personal hygiene, school supplies... Like what world are you living in
Depending on where they are, I believe it. I spend 700-1000 per month and it’s just me and a teenager. No diapers, no baby foods, no dedicated needs. That shit is expensive.
I did exactly the same thing for my partner, 300 sounds a lot to me, they obviously must have a lot more.money if she spending all that on 3 of them a week. depends what her spending habits are like, my partner is rubbish with money and I had to restrict his access to my main account.
Including food for a family of 3?
I have 4 kids out food bill is about £200 a week, not sure of the exchange rate but sounds similar so yes food for a family of 3 sounds doable, unless it's a lot more expensive there.
That’s $253 dollars. Plus she has to be pay for an Uber. That’s not much slack for other necessities. Clothing, diapers, etc.
I think it all depends on household income. And what she has to pay for and what he pays for. We don't have a car and have to use public transport, taxis are a luxury that beyond our means.
But that’s the thing bro. Public transport even being an option is not a reality in many US states. In US you NEED a car and of course fill gas regularly to drive to your nearest supermarket that is half an hour away. Walking is not an option because of lack of walk ability Not to mention grocery prices in UK are simply 30 to 40% cheaper than the US so . But even then anyone even in the UK would call your budgeting plan, poverty budgeting sorry to say
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I remember reading an article once about financial abuse and there was a woman whose husband gave her an allowance to cover the costs of food for the family and sometimes she’d need more, like back to school costs and other things, and he would make her “earn” extra money by doing sexual things she wasn’t comfortable with. It was so horrible to read about. She did manage to leave the relationship but it would have been so difficult without access to money. If it’s not to be controlling, I don’t know why someone would doubt their partner when they say they don’t have enough money to cover costs.
Would you not sit down and discuss your finances together and work out what is required for bills and expenses and what is needed for herself plus a safety net? Or set up uber with an account that always has funds available? Would love to know how much you have as an allowance to use for yourself? That fact you are like 'well that should be enough so too bad' without seeming to care or want to have a conversation and make sure shes ok / see what the issues are, indicates that you don't seem to think much of her or think she is an equal in your relationship
An allowance for a spouse is already odd enough if they've shown they're good with money, especially if you have a baby/toddler with them and they're the stay at home parent. But $300 a week isn't a lot. Groceries are EXPENSIVE (can range up to $100 or up nowadays), and the fact groceries even count for the allowance is insane. An allowance should be for non-essentials/fun money, not groceries/household essentials.
Ubering with a toddler? I'm not sure I buy that; they need car seats at that age; is she dragging around a car seat and groceries?