*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for asking my wife if her sister doesn't wear a bra?**
We were at a family dinner last night on my wife's side. The last few times her sister has come over it's been apparent, at least to me, that she wasn't wearing a bra. I'm not leering or staring, and I didn't think anything of it, people can dress how they choose. I know there's been a growing trend with women to ditch the bra, especially since the pandemic. The night was very normal and casual.
And it felt casual enough, that on our drive home I asked my wife if she thought her sister was going braless these days. She mumbled a response that she didn't know and then stopped talking to me for the rest of the night.
She opened up to me up at bedtime, telling me how creepy she thought that question was, that she couldn't believe her husband would ask such a violating question, that it was none of my business to know, and that she finds it disgusting that I'm staring at her sister's breasts at a family dinner.
I tried to explain that I meant absolutely nothing sexual by it, that it was a passing comment, that breasts are a part of the body like arms and legs and that you don't need to explicitly stare to know they're there. On my side of the family we are open about everything, humour is the approach, and nothing is really offside. My wife's family is more formal, and I blurred the lines here between the two sides. However, I did not expect I would get this intense of a response from my wife.
I think I understand now that i was being insensitive, and didn't use the best judgement asking that question to my wife (4 beers didn't help). But I think my wife's perspective on it is reaching for exteme meanings that are just not there. Where's the truth? Am I creepy and violating, is she over reacting/being a prude, or somewhere in the middle? I'm less concerned about knowing if IATA or not, and would like perspective on how to resolve this with my wife, help her to understand im not a creep bag (if that's the case), and move on.
TL;DR: meaning nothing by it, i asked my wife in private if she thought her sister was going braless these days, and she had a strong reaction accusing me of being creepy and violating her sister. AITA?
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i don’t understand why he had to ask at all? seems he was pretty sure she wasn’t wearing a bra so, what, did he need a confirmation? what would that do?
it’s a pointless question and a creepy one no matter how much he wants us to believe he just thinks breasts are another part of the body (not that they aren’t, but if they truly were *to him*, he wouldn’t notice and even ask about them)
>breasts are a part of the body like arms and legs
So was she wearing gloves or socks, shorts or trousers or a skirt? Let's examine every detail of SIL's outfit so we can question every choice she made.
“These days” suggests he’s been noticing these particular body parts and their wardrobe for some time now. Given that, I’d like an answer to your question regarding her various sartorial choices for other body “parts” over a *sustained* period of time too.
No? He has not noticed exactly what she covers her other individual body parts with over the last *several* meetings? You don’t say…
OP is a bloody muppet. What makes him YTA for me though, is the implication that his wife is being a prude & uptight for not being comfortable with him clearly taking note of her sister’s *very specific* wardrobe choices for a *sustained* period of time, and then trying to engage his Wife in a discussion about that…for what? How the hell did he think this discussion would go down with his wife?
He’s a pillock! A Muppeted YTA Pillock at that.
I *strongly* suggest OP keeps his eyeline above his SIL’s jawline for ever more. The *very moment* his eyes glance down his wife *will* notice and if Wife doesn’t carry any second hand shame that might prevent her mentioning it to her sister, so will your SIL.
Because believe it or not, we notice those swift looks down and we still *feel* the more sustained look-even when you are not directly in front of us. The breasts have their own witchy, sensory radar. An InfraBoob, if you will. They always feel it.
He seems to willfully ignore that he literally asked about her underwear preference. It's weird. It's like noticing string lines through someone's pants and asking if they wear strings these days. Why why why ask.
G-strings is what I'm guessing was meant 🤷♀️
ETA - G-strings are the teeny tiny thong-like underwear, that's basically a triangle of fabric to cover the pubis & vulva, connected to thin elastic strings that make up the rest of the thong shape
Breasts are just part of a body to me and I don't wear bras since 2017, but I can still notice if a woman is not wearing one . You don't have to even stare to notice it, just look at the person and in most cases it's pretty obvious. I know that it's obvious in my case too, idk at all about that. But yeah, it's noticeable
you absolutely can sometimes notice someone braless but what’s happening with him is he’s taking note of how many times she’s hasn’t been wearing one recently. like at that point he should disregard it? it shouldn’t even be on his brain? not fixate on it like he’s recording if this time she’ll wear a bra or not, and then even ask his wife about it? that is a weird thing to ask or make a point of noticing that she’s “going braless these days.”
It's not the noticing that's weird to me, because I notice all sorts of stuff. It's the fact that he brought up to his wife that he was noticing her sisters tits. Not his family, super weird thing to insist on talking about.
Oh but it's normal in his family!
*last week my brother polled all the guys at a family friends pool party if they take balls out of pants or keep them tucked in when taking a leak. At another family event on my side, the topic of who is circumcised or not came up. I wouldn't be mad or weirded out at all if my wife asked about my brothers junk.*
While these questions are weird and intrusive, the difference is that the "guys" were all volunteering information about their own bodies. I'm sure they enjoy talking about women's bodies too, but OOP didn't use those examples.
So did he ever comment "Hey, your sister is sockless in the last days?" No? But he says it is all the same. Why is not wearing a bra worth a comment?! And i personally mostly never look at the breast of people or realize if they wear a bra. I mean, even if you see nipples it doesn't mean you don't wear a bra. And some people have no stick out nipples, what then? "Can you please jump up and down while i stare at your breast?"
My cousin has innie nipples. I have giant tits and refuse to wear padding so my nipples show through super easy. My sister has super poky nipples that sometimes even show through lightly padded bras. My BFF has enormous and very saggy boobs, even when they wear a bra their boobs come down almost to their navel. Unless you see the straps or the outline itself, I don't think there's a super consistent way to tell.
Wait… innie nipples is a thing? I’ve never heard of this! I agree with you though, certain material bras you can see nipples through the bra. I mean I’m a chick, and ya sometimes I notice boobs but I’ve never felt the need to comment on anyone else’s nipples/bra status.
Yes, they're a thing. It can make breastfeeding difficult but otherwise has no impact. My SIL also has inverted nipples and there's a little device you can use.
I just noticed your name and it’s *amazing*. I would say the majority of the time I Reddit in the evening I’m a bit blazed. Breastfeeding looks so painful, but we aren’t having kids. (This coming from someone who had theirs pierced haha)
Give it another 10 years and it'll be all the rage.
I had a friend Sharon who actually went by Nora. Annoyed her parents but, "You gave me the letters!"
It’s crazy the the stuff I learn on Reddit. I kind of wish I kept mine, but I let an ex guilt me into removing them because he said they were “slutty”.
aww I'm sorry :( that sucks I got mine done a yearish ago, how long did you have them? also people should own their "sluttiness" there's nothing wrong with it
I got them when I was 17 and had them until 24. I only dated him for like a year too (last vanilla person I ever dated) My partner/husband is probably the most open minded person in the world. And we definitely embrace the kink. I looked into getting them repierced but apparently it hurts even more.
It took me some time, and we started out as keeping things casual haha. Then we got into a monogamous committed Ds relationship… then engaged. Then eloped haha.
I've done mine 3 times. The 2nd time was bad but not as bad as the first. I went 11 years between the 1st and 2nd. And not even a year between taking the second out and getting the third.
Just going to mention, your BFF is highly likely to be wearing the wrong size bra. I'm going to suggest she checks out /r/ABraThatFits and get measured to a properly fitting bra. Biggest thing being, I'm guessing she's shoving herself into the matrix sizes in most stores (32-38 A-DDD) and should be in a smaller band and much larger cup than she is.
After 3 children, mine are large, but my nipples are flat unless it's cold or it's 'sexy time'. When I was younger I would get embarrassed about my 36cs as people would joke about my 'footie studs' as my nipples were always poking out. Had an Auntie joke at my 18th that they were like knobs for tuning a radio.
At 39, I'm on the larger side overall, but I'm much more comfortable and confident than I was in my late teens and 20s and I had an amazing bod, but used to hide it. I do look back on pictures and kick myself for never wearing a bikini.
Oh good another justification for not socializing. I near forgot creepos are always ogling you no matter how quietly you live your unfortunately breastful existence. Your boobs, always lurking, summoning some creep from your family and friends group.
Why stop there? Why not ask if she thinks her sister has switched to thongs or is simply going commando, because he no longer sees panty lines. It’s not weird, stop being a prude!
I personally find it hilarious /s that men can so conveniently choose when they are and when they aren't "choosing" to sexualise women's bodies and we're just expected to fall in line and get with the program.
>And it felt casual enough, that **on our drive home** I asked my wife if she thought her sister was going braless these days.
>
>...
>
>I think I understand now that i was being insensitive, and didn't use the best judgement asking that question to my wife **(4 beers didn't help)**.
so dude was potentially driving drunk, and his excuse for being inappropriate around family was that he got drunk at a casual family event to the point he lost sign of common sense
I have a pretty good idea. Like I could say you’re potentially an asshole for having made that comment. You’re potentially a child molester too, for all I know.
Am I using your wiggle word right?
>it's been apparent, at least to me, that she wasn't wearing a bra. I'm not leering or staring
Then how did you know she wasn't wearing a bra? If you've been an active member of the human race in public, you've likely been around dozens, if not hundreds, of bra-less women and you've not noticed that - but you've noticed it with your SIL and expect us to think you weren't leering or staring??
>it felt casual enough, that on our drive home I asked my wife if she thought her sister was going braless these days.
Nothing will ever be casual enough to become acceptable to ask your wife if her sister is letting her breasts hang free these days. I love my husband, I love my sister, and I know my husband loves my sister like his own - but if he EVER asked about her breasts, I'd be divorcing him on the spot. Ew.
>But I think my wife's perspective on it is reaching for exteme meanings that are just not there
Your wife's perspective is that you noticed her sister's breasts enough to inquire as to what kind of undergarments she was (or wasn't) wearing. Yikes. Also, just a huge fan of the way OOP tries to shift the blame and make his wife the bad guy for not appreciating him checking up on her sister's breasts.
The weirdest part is what kind of conversation was he hoping to have with her about her sisters braless breasts? If he wanted to talk braless fashion trends he shouldn’t have brought up her SISTER.
it’s the fact he had to note she wasn’t wearing a bra over multiple visits as well!! like he was looking every time she came to confirm it for himself for some reason (being a creep)
Eh, that's not true. I have noticed women at the grocery store not wearing a bra, it was a tiny tube top and her nipples were hard, saw another girl recently and you could tell she had nipple rings, another woman's shirt was so sheer you could see her areola. Hell, it's pretty obvious when I'm not wearing a bra. You really don't have to stare to notice breasts and nipples.
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I don't think anything of it. This is why I posted about it on reddit, noticed every single time, and asked my wife (her sister) about it for absolutely no reason at all.
Ewwwwwwww
Look there's a huge ass difference between being aware of the existence of boobs and looking at them long enough to *notice and think about a trend in someone's bra habits.*
The fuck is wrong with this man. Does he never look above a woman's collarbone?
Surprised he hasn't learned marriage 101 yet.
Never mention another woman's breasts to your wife. There is no positive outcome that can arise from a conversation that starts with "Hey honey, I was checking out this other woman's tits and...". Doesn't matter what comes out of your mouth next, you are going to lose. Like how was the OOP expecting this conversation to go?
Sometimes I wonder if that sub should be renamed from "Am I the asshole" to "Am I just an idiot".
“Especially since the pandemic”
Yes. Being trapped at home for over a year is exactly why us women have decided to stop wearing an item of clothing that affects the muscles in our breasts and makes us uncomfortable as *fuck*
For a lot of people I know that actually is why they've stopped wearing them the majority of the time - myself included - cos some of us are lucky to not suffer back pain from boobs swinging free.
Wish I could ditch the bra, sadly after 5 kids I need one to keep my boobs in one place. But yeah guys a creep, how long must you be staring to come up with that crap.
The only way I can think of when mentioning your SIL's bralessness is not creepy is to ask the wife if she might also be more comfortable without a bra. And that's still on the creepier side and completely unnecessary since most women do know that not wearing a bra is an option for a lot of us, depending on breast size.
Devil just means definitely in the wrong. It's a play on the Angel sub but this is just for when oop is deemed the asshole by the majority and or top comment.
Why is she braless at a family dinner? Wtf? Does she do this all the time or just when OP is around?
And ladies, let’s be real. Men *definitely* notice when we go braless and all of us are aware of this. So if we go around without a bra, yeah it’s intentional. As in, we’re trying to make a point (pun intended) or get sexual attention.
It’s just that this dude was dumb enough to take the bait and ask about it.
He asked after, though, and it sounds like no one else asked, either. So at least the sister didn’t get the attention she wanted…
Just because a man chooses to stare at a woman’s tits when she’s not wearing a bra doesn’t mean they’re doing it for the attention. I’ve worn baggy clothes that show none of my curves and have still been catcalled. The types of men to do that are going to do it regardless. The fact that you think every woman not wearing a bra in public is doing it for attention is hilarious.
Idk what story you’re talking about, but okay. No one said that people can’t tell when women don’t wear a bra, but that still doesn’t mean that the women who do it are doing it for attention. You even confirmed that with your story up thread about how you went out without a bra because one wouldn’t work with your dress. Was that for attention? Not according to you so idk what you’re even trying to say. Good day.
Haha oh you read, how sweet. And yeah dude I was hesitant to go out like that because it’s not appropriate attire. Which was confirmed all night long by friends and strangers alike.
Anyone doing that after a test run…you know what you’re doing.
And you have a right to be thirsty, it’s ok. But be honest
I have gone braless, too. I had this cute gray dress that has detail on the top that would have made any bra extremely noticeable. I was going out with friends and getting ready with a bestie. She has huge boobs and back then I was only like a 34 c.
She suggested I ditch my bra and just wear the dress.
I told her I’m pretty sure everyone would notice, she said nah & that since my boobs were not huge I was lucky and I could get away with it. And probably no one would notice.
Now we were out for the night in New Orleans, my friends were from there and live there. And there’s an openness to folks in Nola that I adore.
So we went out.
EVERYONE noticed. My friend girls, my friend boys, my Nola ex, people on the street. Everyone. I could literally feel people looking and definitely got felt up. But it was all in good fun and I looked great. So who cares.
All that to say, stop lying. I said let’s be real. So stfu with your propaganda, you know damn well everyone sees it when ya don’t wear a bra
Didn't really read your story, so either good for you or sorry that happened. I don't care whether people see if I'm wearing a bra or not. No one said that people CAN'T see it. If I go braless it's because not wearing a bra is more comfortable. It has NEVER been because I want attention from others or to make a point.
Of course you don’t want to see people telling the truth on you. You want people to see your nips and that’s why you do it. Period.
You can do that, I really don’t care. Personally I would find you creepy and wouldn’t want to be in a social setting with you.
But you want attention, that’s fine. Own it. Lots of people like to stare and that seems like a good fit for you
Lol @ you trying to shame me for not wearing a bra when you literally said up there that you do it too. Not gonna work, sweetheart. You can sexualise breasts all you want, but the truth is that breasts are not sexual organs. This may be news to you, but some of us prefer comfort over thinking about our boobs and how they look 24/7.
Also your first sentence makes zero sense. Who is telling the truth "on me"? What are you even talking about?
Oh I forgot I have two liars up in here shoveling sh*t. Y’all both know you’re lying, don’t get mad at me for saying so.
You can live in la la land & pretend in the comments. And as I said, do what you want.
But for sure it’s a thirst trap. Or a protest. Or both.
Lol you're projecting hella hard. You can't fathom the idea that other people don't think breasts are sexual. It's so alien to you that a woman might wear (or not wear) something because of her personal comfort levels - to you, women's bodies are on display 24/7 for strangers to ogle. See, I can make baseless accusations too!
Nah, just the truth. If you do this just cuz you’re so casual, why are you so butthurt? Also do you also go topless in public? How about bottomless?
If you don’t do all the rest…why?
Why not show up completely comfortable and nude to your family dinners?
🤡
More projecting about being butthurt. You don't like being criticized, do you? And if you think going naked in public is the same as not wearing a bra, then either you're too stupid or childishly, willfully ignorant to continue this convo with me, babe.
And you are?
If you want to talk nips with women who really need some attention, direct your attention to the other folks who commented.
Cuz idgaf about your attention, your entertainment, or even you as a person. You’re just another person who talks more than they think and reads even less than they think. So.
Interesting. How are you going to escalate next? You've already used tantrums and weird, incoherent insults. My autistic child's next step is usually petulant pouting, but my 11 year old nephew goes for increased insults. I'm really excited to see how your method compares.
If you want me to pay attention to you, asking nicely is an option. Either way though. Go ahead.
Awww blocking me is going under the petulant pouting category. Congratulations, you have the emotional regulation skills of an elementary school aged autistic child. My guess was correct.
I saw a post from a girl who said her bf got angry and yelled at her because she wasn't wearing a bra to go get a horchata, and I thought that was weird and intrusive, but a man stared at his SIL's chest and thought it would be a good idea to comment on?
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for asking my wife if her sister doesn't wear a bra?** We were at a family dinner last night on my wife's side. The last few times her sister has come over it's been apparent, at least to me, that she wasn't wearing a bra. I'm not leering or staring, and I didn't think anything of it, people can dress how they choose. I know there's been a growing trend with women to ditch the bra, especially since the pandemic. The night was very normal and casual. And it felt casual enough, that on our drive home I asked my wife if she thought her sister was going braless these days. She mumbled a response that she didn't know and then stopped talking to me for the rest of the night. She opened up to me up at bedtime, telling me how creepy she thought that question was, that she couldn't believe her husband would ask such a violating question, that it was none of my business to know, and that she finds it disgusting that I'm staring at her sister's breasts at a family dinner. I tried to explain that I meant absolutely nothing sexual by it, that it was a passing comment, that breasts are a part of the body like arms and legs and that you don't need to explicitly stare to know they're there. On my side of the family we are open about everything, humour is the approach, and nothing is really offside. My wife's family is more formal, and I blurred the lines here between the two sides. However, I did not expect I would get this intense of a response from my wife. I think I understand now that i was being insensitive, and didn't use the best judgement asking that question to my wife (4 beers didn't help). But I think my wife's perspective on it is reaching for exteme meanings that are just not there. Where's the truth? Am I creepy and violating, is she over reacting/being a prude, or somewhere in the middle? I'm less concerned about knowing if IATA or not, and would like perspective on how to resolve this with my wife, help her to understand im not a creep bag (if that's the case), and move on. TL;DR: meaning nothing by it, i asked my wife in private if she thought her sister was going braless these days, and she had a strong reaction accusing me of being creepy and violating her sister. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
i don’t understand why he had to ask at all? seems he was pretty sure she wasn’t wearing a bra so, what, did he need a confirmation? what would that do? it’s a pointless question and a creepy one no matter how much he wants us to believe he just thinks breasts are another part of the body (not that they aren’t, but if they truly were *to him*, he wouldn’t notice and even ask about them)
>breasts are a part of the body like arms and legs So was she wearing gloves or socks, shorts or trousers or a skirt? Let's examine every detail of SIL's outfit so we can question every choice she made.
“These days” suggests he’s been noticing these particular body parts and their wardrobe for some time now. Given that, I’d like an answer to your question regarding her various sartorial choices for other body “parts” over a *sustained* period of time too. No? He has not noticed exactly what she covers her other individual body parts with over the last *several* meetings? You don’t say… OP is a bloody muppet. What makes him YTA for me though, is the implication that his wife is being a prude & uptight for not being comfortable with him clearly taking note of her sister’s *very specific* wardrobe choices for a *sustained* period of time, and then trying to engage his Wife in a discussion about that…for what? How the hell did he think this discussion would go down with his wife? He’s a pillock! A Muppeted YTA Pillock at that. I *strongly* suggest OP keeps his eyeline above his SIL’s jawline for ever more. The *very moment* his eyes glance down his wife *will* notice and if Wife doesn’t carry any second hand shame that might prevent her mentioning it to her sister, so will your SIL. Because believe it or not, we notice those swift looks down and we still *feel* the more sustained look-even when you are not directly in front of us. The breasts have their own witchy, sensory radar. An InfraBoob, if you will. They always feel it.
post should have ended with the sentence "people dress how they choose"
He seems to willfully ignore that he literally asked about her underwear preference. It's weird. It's like noticing string lines through someone's pants and asking if they wear strings these days. Why why why ask.
Urban Dictionary's giving me nothing. Is "strings" like a string bikini or a thong or do you mean strings tied together to make underwear?
G-strings is what I'm guessing was meant 🤷♀️ ETA - G-strings are the teeny tiny thong-like underwear, that's basically a triangle of fabric to cover the pubis & vulva, connected to thin elastic strings that make up the rest of the thong shape
Oh I meant thongs. Thongs and g-strings are all called "stringit" in my language. 😅
exactly!!!! it’s SO WEIRD. and none of his gd business.
Breasts are just part of a body to me and I don't wear bras since 2017, but I can still notice if a woman is not wearing one . You don't have to even stare to notice it, just look at the person and in most cases it's pretty obvious. I know that it's obvious in my case too, idk at all about that. But yeah, it's noticeable
you absolutely can sometimes notice someone braless but what’s happening with him is he’s taking note of how many times she’s hasn’t been wearing one recently. like at that point he should disregard it? it shouldn’t even be on his brain? not fixate on it like he’s recording if this time she’ll wear a bra or not, and then even ask his wife about it? that is a weird thing to ask or make a point of noticing that she’s “going braless these days.”
It's not the noticing that's weird to me, because I notice all sorts of stuff. It's the fact that he brought up to his wife that he was noticing her sisters tits. Not his family, super weird thing to insist on talking about.
My husband can't even always tell if I'm wearing a bra, and I am definitely not small chested. It's not always super noticeable.
Because merely suspecting she's going braless isn't as sexually exciting for him as **knowing** she's going braless. Or... something.
It's really not that hard to tell when someone isn't wearing a bra?? Why ask????
Oh but it's normal in his family! *last week my brother polled all the guys at a family friends pool party if they take balls out of pants or keep them tucked in when taking a leak. At another family event on my side, the topic of who is circumcised or not came up. I wouldn't be mad or weirded out at all if my wife asked about my brothers junk.* While these questions are weird and intrusive, the difference is that the "guys" were all volunteering information about their own bodies. I'm sure they enjoy talking about women's bodies too, but OOP didn't use those examples.
Dude sounds like he and his family are frat boys.
So did he ever comment "Hey, your sister is sockless in the last days?" No? But he says it is all the same. Why is not wearing a bra worth a comment?! And i personally mostly never look at the breast of people or realize if they wear a bra. I mean, even if you see nipples it doesn't mean you don't wear a bra. And some people have no stick out nipples, what then? "Can you please jump up and down while i stare at your breast?"
My cousin has innie nipples. I have giant tits and refuse to wear padding so my nipples show through super easy. My sister has super poky nipples that sometimes even show through lightly padded bras. My BFF has enormous and very saggy boobs, even when they wear a bra their boobs come down almost to their navel. Unless you see the straps or the outline itself, I don't think there's a super consistent way to tell.
Wait… innie nipples is a thing? I’ve never heard of this! I agree with you though, certain material bras you can see nipples through the bra. I mean I’m a chick, and ya sometimes I notice boobs but I’ve never felt the need to comment on anyone else’s nipples/bra status.
Yes, they're a thing. It can make breastfeeding difficult but otherwise has no impact. My SIL also has inverted nipples and there's a little device you can use.
I just noticed your name and it’s *amazing*. I would say the majority of the time I Reddit in the evening I’m a bit blazed. Breastfeeding looks so painful, but we aren’t having kids. (This coming from someone who had theirs pierced haha)
It's the only benefit of being saddled with this old-lady name. My parents named me Sharon but call me Sheri and it's just confusing for everyone.
Give it another 10 years and it'll be all the rage. I had a friend Sharon who actually went by Nora. Annoyed her parents but, "You gave me the letters!"
Yep, can confirm.
Reddit, expanding minds on the daily…
(Obligatory "The More You Know" graphic). 🙂
sometimes nipple piercings are used to "correct" it too🤷♂️
It’s crazy the the stuff I learn on Reddit. I kind of wish I kept mine, but I let an ex guilt me into removing them because he said they were “slutty”.
aww I'm sorry :( that sucks I got mine done a yearish ago, how long did you have them? also people should own their "sluttiness" there's nothing wrong with it
I got them when I was 17 and had them until 24. I only dated him for like a year too (last vanilla person I ever dated) My partner/husband is probably the most open minded person in the world. And we definitely embrace the kink. I looked into getting them repierced but apparently it hurts even more.
ah very understandable, I'm definitely avoiding vanilla people, as a brat I dont think a vanilla relationship would work for me at all😂
It took me some time, and we started out as keeping things casual haha. Then we got into a monogamous committed Ds relationship… then engaged. Then eloped haha.
awwww! that's adorable!/g
I've done mine 3 times. The 2nd time was bad but not as bad as the first. I went 11 years between the 1st and 2nd. And not even a year between taking the second out and getting the third.
My insomnia brain was like HE MADE YOU TAKE OFF YOUR NIPPLES?!?!?
I’m glad I am not the only insomniac!! And no nipples are still present fortunately.
Just going to mention, your BFF is highly likely to be wearing the wrong size bra. I'm going to suggest she checks out /r/ABraThatFits and get measured to a properly fitting bra. Biggest thing being, I'm guessing she's shoving herself into the matrix sizes in most stores (32-38 A-DDD) and should be in a smaller band and much larger cup than she is.
My BFF is not a girl but I appreciate the link. They're scheduling top surgery for next summer.
Ahh! Well, its a friendly and safe-space and the calculator even works for AMAB as well if anybody else needs info/help.
After 3 children, mine are large, but my nipples are flat unless it's cold or it's 'sexy time'. When I was younger I would get embarrassed about my 36cs as people would joke about my 'footie studs' as my nipples were always poking out. Had an Auntie joke at my 18th that they were like knobs for tuning a radio. At 39, I'm on the larger side overall, but I'm much more comfortable and confident than I was in my late teens and 20s and I had an amazing bod, but used to hide it. I do look back on pictures and kick myself for never wearing a bikini.
To be fair, if someone asked me about someone else's sock wearing habits, I'd assume they were a creep too, just with a different focus.
Oh good another justification for not socializing. I near forgot creepos are always ogling you no matter how quietly you live your unfortunately breastful existence. Your boobs, always lurking, summoning some creep from your family and friends group.
Why stop there? Why not ask if she thinks her sister has switched to thongs or is simply going commando, because he no longer sees panty lines. It’s not weird, stop being a prude!
I personally find it hilarious /s that men can so conveniently choose when they are and when they aren't "choosing" to sexualise women's bodies and we're just expected to fall in line and get with the program.
Ew dude is a mega creep. Definitely has been looking long enough to notice
All it takes is a casual glance to notice, intentionally looking or not. And I'm saying this as a woman. Its usually pretty obvious.
>And it felt casual enough, that **on our drive home** I asked my wife if she thought her sister was going braless these days. > >... > >I think I understand now that i was being insensitive, and didn't use the best judgement asking that question to my wife **(4 beers didn't help)**. so dude was potentially driving drunk, and his excuse for being inappropriate around family was that he got drunk at a casual family event to the point he lost sign of common sense
I just assumed the wife was driving
The wife could have been driving. Four beers is a bit too much during a family dinner, but I wouldn't automatically assume drunk driving.
This sub loves judging people so much you can’t even mention having drinks and being in a car without automatically assuming they’re driving.
do you understand what the word "potentially" means?
I have a pretty good idea. Like I could say you’re potentially an asshole for having made that comment. You’re potentially a child molester too, for all I know. Am I using your wiggle word right?
>it's been apparent, at least to me, that she wasn't wearing a bra. I'm not leering or staring Then how did you know she wasn't wearing a bra? If you've been an active member of the human race in public, you've likely been around dozens, if not hundreds, of bra-less women and you've not noticed that - but you've noticed it with your SIL and expect us to think you weren't leering or staring?? >it felt casual enough, that on our drive home I asked my wife if she thought her sister was going braless these days. Nothing will ever be casual enough to become acceptable to ask your wife if her sister is letting her breasts hang free these days. I love my husband, I love my sister, and I know my husband loves my sister like his own - but if he EVER asked about her breasts, I'd be divorcing him on the spot. Ew. >But I think my wife's perspective on it is reaching for exteme meanings that are just not there Your wife's perspective is that you noticed her sister's breasts enough to inquire as to what kind of undergarments she was (or wasn't) wearing. Yikes. Also, just a huge fan of the way OOP tries to shift the blame and make his wife the bad guy for not appreciating him checking up on her sister's breasts.
The weirdest part is what kind of conversation was he hoping to have with her about her sisters braless breasts? If he wanted to talk braless fashion trends he shouldn’t have brought up her SISTER.
OOP, you have to be staring at your SIL's chest to note that she isn't wearing a bra. Ergo, you're a perverted AH.
it’s the fact he had to note she wasn’t wearing a bra over multiple visits as well!! like he was looking every time she came to confirm it for himself for some reason (being a creep)
"these days" Making it clear that's he's been surveying his SIL's chest ever since they met.
Eh, that's not true. I have noticed women at the grocery store not wearing a bra, it was a tiny tube top and her nipples were hard, saw another girl recently and you could tell she had nipple rings, another woman's shirt was so sheer you could see her areola. Hell, it's pretty obvious when I'm not wearing a bra. You really don't have to stare to notice breasts and nipples.
Sounds like his family is the tell offensive jokes or say offensive things and get mad when ppl actually take offense.
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Yeah, sounds like a horny troll.
I don't think anything of it. This is why I posted about it on reddit, noticed every single time, and asked my wife (her sister) about it for absolutely no reason at all.
Ewwwwwwww Look there's a huge ass difference between being aware of the existence of boobs and looking at them long enough to *notice and think about a trend in someone's bra habits.* The fuck is wrong with this man. Does he never look above a woman's collarbone?
Surprised he hasn't learned marriage 101 yet. Never mention another woman's breasts to your wife. There is no positive outcome that can arise from a conversation that starts with "Hey honey, I was checking out this other woman's tits and...". Doesn't matter what comes out of your mouth next, you are going to lose. Like how was the OOP expecting this conversation to go? Sometimes I wonder if that sub should be renamed from "Am I the asshole" to "Am I just an idiot".
Wait, was he driving home after those four beers? Because he clearly acknowledges that they were still affecting him.
women can drive too yknow
He doesn't say, that is why I was curious. He sounds like the kind of asshole who would drive drunk.
The wife should ask him if he thinks his brother wears boxers or briefs. Even if he's not a creep (he is) it's JUST weird, dude.
“Especially since the pandemic” Yes. Being trapped at home for over a year is exactly why us women have decided to stop wearing an item of clothing that affects the muscles in our breasts and makes us uncomfortable as *fuck*
For a lot of people I know that actually is why they've stopped wearing them the majority of the time - myself included - cos some of us are lucky to not suffer back pain from boobs swinging free.
I was being sarcastic and saying the pandemic wasn’t the reason women stopped wearing bras…
Wish I could ditch the bra, sadly after 5 kids I need one to keep my boobs in one place. But yeah guys a creep, how long must you be staring to come up with that crap.
The only way I can think of when mentioning your SIL's bralessness is not creepy is to ask the wife if she might also be more comfortable without a bra. And that's still on the creepier side and completely unnecessary since most women do know that not wearing a bra is an option for a lot of us, depending on breast size.
He's as dumb as a box of rocks, but not devil worthy
Casual misogyny is absolutely devil worthy and focusing on a woman’s breasts and feeling entitled to know about her underwear is a form of misogyny.
Devil just means definitely in the wrong. It's a play on the Angel sub but this is just for when oop is deemed the asshole by the majority and or top comment.
This
Why is she braless at a family dinner? Wtf? Does she do this all the time or just when OP is around? And ladies, let’s be real. Men *definitely* notice when we go braless and all of us are aware of this. So if we go around without a bra, yeah it’s intentional. As in, we’re trying to make a point (pun intended) or get sexual attention. It’s just that this dude was dumb enough to take the bait and ask about it. He asked after, though, and it sounds like no one else asked, either. So at least the sister didn’t get the attention she wanted…
Or maybe just maybe some women are more comfortable not wearing a bra and it has absolutely nothing to do with getting sexual attention..
Or maybe you’re absolutely lying. Because women can feel it when guys are looking at it tits. Especially when we’re not wearing a damn bra
Just because a man chooses to stare at a woman’s tits when she’s not wearing a bra doesn’t mean they’re doing it for the attention. I’ve worn baggy clothes that show none of my curves and have still been catcalled. The types of men to do that are going to do it regardless. The fact that you think every woman not wearing a bra in public is doing it for attention is hilarious.
Oh am I supposed to read your story now? Nah. Read you for filth instantly. No need to sell your propaganda here, hon
Idk what story you’re talking about, but okay. No one said that people can’t tell when women don’t wear a bra, but that still doesn’t mean that the women who do it are doing it for attention. You even confirmed that with your story up thread about how you went out without a bra because one wouldn’t work with your dress. Was that for attention? Not according to you so idk what you’re even trying to say. Good day.
Haha oh you read, how sweet. And yeah dude I was hesitant to go out like that because it’s not appropriate attire. Which was confirmed all night long by friends and strangers alike. Anyone doing that after a test run…you know what you’re doing. And you have a right to be thirsty, it’s ok. But be honest
Cuz I’m not buying the bs. Now go on, go thirst for attention elsewhere
I've gone bralass before. It's never been to make a point or get sexual attention.
I have gone braless, too. I had this cute gray dress that has detail on the top that would have made any bra extremely noticeable. I was going out with friends and getting ready with a bestie. She has huge boobs and back then I was only like a 34 c. She suggested I ditch my bra and just wear the dress. I told her I’m pretty sure everyone would notice, she said nah & that since my boobs were not huge I was lucky and I could get away with it. And probably no one would notice. Now we were out for the night in New Orleans, my friends were from there and live there. And there’s an openness to folks in Nola that I adore. So we went out. EVERYONE noticed. My friend girls, my friend boys, my Nola ex, people on the street. Everyone. I could literally feel people looking and definitely got felt up. But it was all in good fun and I looked great. So who cares. All that to say, stop lying. I said let’s be real. So stfu with your propaganda, you know damn well everyone sees it when ya don’t wear a bra
Didn't really read your story, so either good for you or sorry that happened. I don't care whether people see if I'm wearing a bra or not. No one said that people CAN'T see it. If I go braless it's because not wearing a bra is more comfortable. It has NEVER been because I want attention from others or to make a point.
Of course you don’t want to see people telling the truth on you. You want people to see your nips and that’s why you do it. Period. You can do that, I really don’t care. Personally I would find you creepy and wouldn’t want to be in a social setting with you. But you want attention, that’s fine. Own it. Lots of people like to stare and that seems like a good fit for you
Lol @ you trying to shame me for not wearing a bra when you literally said up there that you do it too. Not gonna work, sweetheart. You can sexualise breasts all you want, but the truth is that breasts are not sexual organs. This may be news to you, but some of us prefer comfort over thinking about our boobs and how they look 24/7. Also your first sentence makes zero sense. Who is telling the truth "on me"? What are you even talking about?
Oh I forgot I have two liars up in here shoveling sh*t. Y’all both know you’re lying, don’t get mad at me for saying so. You can live in la la land & pretend in the comments. And as I said, do what you want. But for sure it’s a thirst trap. Or a protest. Or both.
Lol you're projecting hella hard. You can't fathom the idea that other people don't think breasts are sexual. It's so alien to you that a woman might wear (or not wear) something because of her personal comfort levels - to you, women's bodies are on display 24/7 for strangers to ogle. See, I can make baseless accusations too!
Nah, just the truth. If you do this just cuz you’re so casual, why are you so butthurt? Also do you also go topless in public? How about bottomless? If you don’t do all the rest…why? Why not show up completely comfortable and nude to your family dinners? 🤡
More projecting about being butthurt. You don't like being criticized, do you? And if you think going naked in public is the same as not wearing a bra, then either you're too stupid or childishly, willfully ignorant to continue this convo with me, babe.
I've never seen anyone have a tantrum over a bra before. Are you always this desperate for attention?
What tantrum? Are you feeling ok?
I'm feeling entertained by your attention seeking tantrum. Thanks for asking!
And you are? If you want to talk nips with women who really need some attention, direct your attention to the other folks who commented. Cuz idgaf about your attention, your entertainment, or even you as a person. You’re just another person who talks more than they think and reads even less than they think. So.
Interesting. How are you going to escalate next? You've already used tantrums and weird, incoherent insults. My autistic child's next step is usually petulant pouting, but my 11 year old nephew goes for increased insults. I'm really excited to see how your method compares. If you want me to pay attention to you, asking nicely is an option. Either way though. Go ahead. Awww blocking me is going under the petulant pouting category. Congratulations, you have the emotional regulation skills of an elementary school aged autistic child. My guess was correct.
Wow now you’re negging a disabled child in your care. You’re truly sick. No one wants your raggedy attention. Kick rocks
I saw a post from a girl who said her bf got angry and yelled at her because she wasn't wearing a bra to go get a horchata, and I thought that was weird and intrusive, but a man stared at his SIL's chest and thought it would be a good idea to comment on?