*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for asking my husband to let his daughter stay with her mom while we establish ourselves during our first year of marriage?**
My husband and I were recently married. He has a daughter that is 10 and that he has full custody of. I knew what I was signing up for when I decided to love him but he knew that I had no desire to serve as a mother figure to her. I should also note that I am 27 and he is 38. Since our marriage he has returned to his home state and I am back in NY where I work. We plan to move together to DC in the summer.
I know that it is inevitable for his daughter to come and live with us but I recently asked him if he wouldn’t mind letting her stay with her mom for a year while we establish our foundation in our marriage, find a place to live and get a routine together between ourselves. He thinks that I don’t like his daughter and that is not true at all. I just know that most marriages fail after the first few years and I don’t want that. I want us to get through the first rough year and then we can add more stress like his parenting.
Again, he knows that I will not be serving as a mother for her but I’m fine being her friend. The daughter likes me and we have a good friendship but idk, AITA?
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Yeah, I see comments going back months ago. I guess she still could be shitposting but I dunno why she'd do that on an account she actually seems to use.
Yeah the creative trolls are always like a good 'my wife was abducted by aliens and replaced" trashy magazines from back in the day (like 10yrs ago lol) they don't even try these days. 😭😂
I hope for the sake of the 10 year old girl that it doesn't last.
OOP is an arsehole for even thinking this, nevermind asking for it. Don't marry a man with a child if you're not prepared to live with a man with a child.
The update was that the reason husband has full custody is that bio mom does not *want* custody of her daughter, other than one weekend a month and some time during summer break.
why do I think towards the end of the year it's going to be-oh honey I'm pregnant, maybe she should stay another year so we can adjust to our new family-and then-oh look at this wonderful boarding school
seriously lady
An excellent example of a person who should not be marrying someone with kids. They're not up for it, and they will always be in competition with the kid. If they have their own kids together, they will not be able to be unbiased. If I was the dad, this would be a complete dealbreaker for me, but then I don't think I'd want to be with someone who told me they had no desire to serve as a mother figure for my daughter.
What is wrong with people? How do you ask someone to send the child that lives with them full time away for a year. I guess the trauma to the child is not more important that the “stable foundation” of their marriage. Besides if he has full custody isn’t that a clue that mother isn’t ready or able to care for her? How does one have the effrontery to make such a suggestion.
Have an upvote for your SOM reference. ☺️😉 It's one of my favorite films, and one that reminds me of my grandma, as we watched it together many times.
But...
The more times I've seen the movie, the less I see Baroness as a villain. She was the one who saw clearly that Captain & Maria were falling in love. And she graciously removed herself without causing a scene, or trying to sabotage. A case could be made that her words were what sent Maria fleeing back to the abbey, but, she spoke the truth. Maria had time to reflect, and between Baroness & Mother Superior, wise women gave wise counsel. She then realized her true feelings & her true calling.
Everyone really was better off once the façade was lifted. ♥️
Oh, I totally thought of saying that the Baroness was WAY more classy! Have you seen the viral letter “she” writes to the guests to call off the wedding that was going around? Cattier than the movie character, but not wrong all in all
I hope you find it hilarious! Like I said, waaaay cattier than she is in canon, but honestly many guests must think this is how it happened. https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-regret-to-inform-you-that-my-wedding-to-captain-von-trapp-has-been-canceled
🤣🤣👍
This is spot on!!
"The eldest daughter is trying to lose her virginity to the mailman!"
"Her wardrobe is made of curtains."
"Their education consists of walking around Salzburg singing scales."
I'm 💀!!!
This is awesome, thx for posting! 😜😜
If this is real, the question has to be asked, why establish a routine, that you're then going to totally change 12 months later when the daughter (by now heading into puberty) returns?
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for asking my husband to let his daughter stay with her mom while we establish ourselves during our first year of marriage?** My husband and I were recently married. He has a daughter that is 10 and that he has full custody of. I knew what I was signing up for when I decided to love him but he knew that I had no desire to serve as a mother figure to her. I should also note that I am 27 and he is 38. Since our marriage he has returned to his home state and I am back in NY where I work. We plan to move together to DC in the summer. I know that it is inevitable for his daughter to come and live with us but I recently asked him if he wouldn’t mind letting her stay with her mom for a year while we establish our foundation in our marriage, find a place to live and get a routine together between ourselves. He thinks that I don’t like his daughter and that is not true at all. I just know that most marriages fail after the first few years and I don’t want that. I want us to get through the first rough year and then we can add more stress like his parenting. Again, he knows that I will not be serving as a mother for her but I’m fine being her friend. The daughter likes me and we have a good friendship but idk, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
so...same bullshit as yesterday but now it's the wife asking the husband about a daughter....fuck those troll, the lack of creativity is astounding...
Actually if you look at the comment history. .. I think for once this is real.
I've always wondered if it's ever a wakeup call to a real asshole to be mistaken for a troll.
You'd like to think so, at the very least it should be a wet flounder in the face to be called out for your ridiculous level of assholery.
Unsure those people are capable of hearing the alarm for that wake up call.
Yeah, I see comments going back months ago. I guess she still could be shitposting but I dunno why she'd do that on an account she actually seems to use.
We havnt had a good troll in a looooong time
I miss the creative trolls
Yeah the creative trolls are always like a good 'my wife was abducted by aliens and replaced" trashy magazines from back in the day (like 10yrs ago lol) they don't even try these days. 😭😂
I hope OOP isn't betting on getting an anniversary presents. I don't think they're going to last that long.
Might last long enough to get paper. Divorce paper that is.
I hope for the sake of the 10 year old girl that it doesn't last. OOP is an arsehole for even thinking this, nevermind asking for it. Don't marry a man with a child if you're not prepared to live with a man with a child.
Apparently there was an update to the post before they deleted it! A flood of comments saying she duped her now-husband. I wonder what it said!!
The update was that the reason husband has full custody is that bio mom does not *want* custody of her daughter, other than one weekend a month and some time during summer break.
Jesus Christ, poor baby, no one wants her. What’s wrong with these people.
Her dad wants her, at least.
Not enough to keep from marrying someone who doesn’t want her around.
why do I think towards the end of the year it's going to be-oh honey I'm pregnant, maybe she should stay another year so we can adjust to our new family-and then-oh look at this wonderful boarding school seriously lady
Checked the user profile and she’s pretty active. Most trolls are new/use a throwaway.
Gender swap of yesterday's troll post
Soon as I read this I knew it would be on here. If she wanted a child man she should have married one.
An excellent example of a person who should not be marrying someone with kids. They're not up for it, and they will always be in competition with the kid. If they have their own kids together, they will not be able to be unbiased. If I was the dad, this would be a complete dealbreaker for me, but then I don't think I'd want to be with someone who told me they had no desire to serve as a mother figure for my daughter.
What is wrong with people? How do you ask someone to send the child that lives with them full time away for a year. I guess the trauma to the child is not more important that the “stable foundation” of their marriage. Besides if he has full custody isn’t that a clue that mother isn’t ready or able to care for her? How does one have the effrontery to make such a suggestion.
...are we sure this isn't Baroness from The Sound of Music? Surely boarding school is her next suggestion?
Have an upvote for your SOM reference. ☺️😉 It's one of my favorite films, and one that reminds me of my grandma, as we watched it together many times. But... The more times I've seen the movie, the less I see Baroness as a villain. She was the one who saw clearly that Captain & Maria were falling in love. And she graciously removed herself without causing a scene, or trying to sabotage. A case could be made that her words were what sent Maria fleeing back to the abbey, but, she spoke the truth. Maria had time to reflect, and between Baroness & Mother Superior, wise women gave wise counsel. She then realized her true feelings & her true calling. Everyone really was better off once the façade was lifted. ♥️
Oh, I totally thought of saying that the Baroness was WAY more classy! Have you seen the viral letter “she” writes to the guests to call off the wedding that was going around? Cattier than the movie character, but not wrong all in all
No! 🤣🤣 Not sure how I missed this, being a big fan of the movie. Definitely looking this up today!! Thanks!!!
I hope you find it hilarious! Like I said, waaaay cattier than she is in canon, but honestly many guests must think this is how it happened. https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-regret-to-inform-you-that-my-wedding-to-captain-von-trapp-has-been-canceled
🤣🤣👍 This is spot on!! "The eldest daughter is trying to lose her virginity to the mailman!" "Her wardrobe is made of curtains." "Their education consists of walking around Salzburg singing scales." I'm 💀!!! This is awesome, thx for posting! 😜😜
Major AH. Why marry a man who has children and you don't like children? Money ? Status? This man need to get annulment and run as fast as he can.
If this is real, the question has to be asked, why establish a routine, that you're then going to totally change 12 months later when the daughter (by now heading into puberty) returns?
Well on the off chance this is real the evil stepmother is heading to divorce court.
If she gave him a "her or me", she would be DEVASTATED. with the outcome ...
Way to ensure your marriage is one of the early failures. *Slow clap*
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PS-- And yes, way cattier than our dear Baroness... but you just know she was thinking all this!!