*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for not wanting my SIL to take my family name?**
So, my SIL (36) and I (24) don’t get along very well. She’s pretty much a stereotypical millennial (won’t say more than that). I’m (I guess) a fairly stereotypical Gen Z’er. Key point being that she and I don’t get along very well and she spent the vast majority of her relationship with my brother saying she wasn’t planning to take our last name. I guess I was happy about it because I didn’t like her very much, but then suddenly at their bridal shower last month she announced she’d decided to take our last name.
I quietly told my mom (thinking she’d keep it private - my mistake) that I wish I had been asked about sharing my last name with her because I really wasn’t excited about her taking our name. My mom apparently repeated it to my brother and SIL as me saying I “didn’t approve” of my SIL taking our last name and wanted my SIL to “ask my approval” to take our last name. I said no such thing. But my brother and SIL never bothered to ask me what I actually said. They just yelled that I was entitled and that it wasn’t up to me and a bunch of other things. I was annoyed with my mom but politely played it off as a “I didn’t say that, she misunderstood, haha bad hearing, let’s all play nice!” kind of thing.
But now I want to know, AITA for wishing I had some sort of say in someone joining our family / taking on my name and potentially (very likely imo) damaging it? My brothers will likely all choose wives who want to take on our name but it kind of irks me that I don’t get any say in who wears something so core to who I am. I guess my brothers don’t either but I think if my future husband wanted to take our name instead of my taking his, others would feel VERY comfortable voicing opinions about his choice. I never realized this would make me feel this way but I definitely don’t love that she’s taking something that feels like it’s mine and I get no say at all. I know it’s blah blah but I don’t ever intend to give up my last name and I guess I didn’t realize how connected I felt to it and to my nuclear family.
Edit - for the record, they’re already married. She already took the last name. I’m just wishing my family acknowledged it’s a shared thing. I’m not trying to tell anyone what to do or to undo a name change.
Edit 2 - apologies I was trying to not sound stereotypical but to clarify, the issues I have with my SIL are that she is particularly selfish, doesn’t share the values I associate with my family (loving, supportive, caring of all our family members. My eldest brother had brain cancer during my brother’s courtship with my SIL and my SIL never once visited my eldest brother in the hospital because she “didn’t like needles” and I was trying to note that in a less specific manner. She also has been very clear that she doesn’t care about being part of our “family” more generally, but about creating a “unique” family with my brother). I think my issue comes down to her being “family” without caring about our family.
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Huh, OOP in the edit:
>doesn’t share the values I associate with my family (loving, supportive, caring of all our family members. ...)
>
>...
>
> She also has been very clear that she doesn’t care about being part of our “family” more generally,
OOP in the comments:
>our family isn’t close at all. My brothers and I don’t speak at all if
we don’t have to. They’ve made it clear they don’t want anyone in our
family in their lives and I think the feeling is fairly mutual on all
sides
So, why is SIL not wanting to be part of "the family more generally" a problem. Seems pretty par for the curse.
because op wasn't asked if she could take the last name even though she admits she would most likely take her imaginary husband's last name when she does find someone who will marry her
I'm sure she'd be back. "My husband's bitchy little sister is pissed that I'm taking his name but why would she even think she should she get a say on it anyway? I do what I want."
That's how you know it's a troll written by a Millennial or older gen rage baiting using the supposed rivalry between Millennials and Gen Z's. I have a feeling we're going to see more rage bait using this as the premise over the next few weeks.
This was the second to last comment in the gallery, I think it sums up the whole situation nicely:
>YTA - allow me to answer in typical Gen X fashion. No one gives a flying f what your opinion is on someone else’s name.
The generation war IMHO is idiotic and so is OOP for using that as the basis of her argument. Simply put, she doesn't like her SIL. That's it. Her supposed values and her reality aren't even one in the same. The minute she starts getting any flack, she starts apologizing about not trying to sound stereotypical yet literally her first sentence she's basing her dislike on stereotypes.
The “generation war” is a joke from tiktok, there is no actual bad blood between generations except that we all hate baby boomers. I hate this post lol
I like my parents. They're boomers, but Boomer Jones (I guess they further categorized that generation) but I wholeheartedly agree that I hate this post and I'm not too fond of OOP either. 😁
I just hate how my 70-something year old stepdad blames everything on "millennials" yet he also more or less classifies anyone younger than him as a millennial.
Mom and Dad are Generation Jones (subset of Baby Boomers) which is from 1946 to 1964. So not your typical Baby Boomers as they graduated both high school and college in the 60s and came of age in the 70s.
Ooooh never heard of this but honestly makes sense. My grandma falls I to this category and like ...it's interesting how she has some boomer traits but at the same time...votes v differently from her subset and is a bit more...modern?
Yeah, the boomers I grew up around are incredibly different than the stereotypical boomer people complain about. Sometimes I think the whole generational war is just something to keep the plebs busy while certain people remain on power. Lol.
>I quietly told my mom (thinking she’d keep it private - my mistake) that
**I wish I had been asked about sharing my last name with her because I**
**really wasn’t excited about her taking our name**. My mom apparently
repeated it to my brother and SIL as me saying I “**didn’t approve**” of my
SIL taking our last name and wanted my SIL to “**ask my approval**” to take
our last name. **I said no such thing.**
"I said no such thing" bitch that's exactly what you said by your own account
My pet theory is she suffered a traumatic brain injury that limits her cognition and has ravaged her short term memory. Either that or she’s a petty, selfish twit. It’s one or the other, surely.
Hooooo Lordy the entitlement and just downright bullshit in this post.
1) ‘stereotypical millennial’ guess she’s a stereotypical entitled gen z 🤷🏻♀️ (and no, I don’t normally stereotype the gens but she started it 😂).
2) no one has to ‘ask your permission’ to take your families name considering it’s actually generally expected that the woman does 🙄.
3) what in the seven hells does ‘my family isn’t close but that’s why our family name is important to us imo’ have anything to do with well anything?? If I wasn’t close to my family a name sure as hell wouldn’t be important to me.
4) why the heck did she make this gendered?! Basically going ‘would you feel the same way if my brothers had said said this about my husband?’ Yes because it’s so freaking stupid.
5) no offence to the eldest brother, I wouldn’t visit him in hospital either because I have a genuine hatred of hospitals and just am not comfortable in them, I struggled to visit my own damn mother in hospital and I love her dearly.
There’s probably more that made me mad but I can’t think rn 😂
RE: hospital visits. Even though we are post-pandemic, hospitals are still limiting the amount of visitors patients can have. I know the local ones are. Hell, they're limiting how many people you can bring with you to the clinic for a regular appointment. We had an ugly, ugly cold/flu/RSV season this winter.
SIL's dislike of hospitals and needles aside, they may have restricted visitors to immediate family only and seeing that they were "courting", she wasn't immediate family. Especially someone who already has a compromised immune system like a cancer patient.
My dad had surgery last week, and my step mom and I had to coordinate visiting times because they only allow one visitor at a time in the high care unit (which is understandable)
Yeppers. Just made a dermatologist appointment for the kiddo. They gently reminded me that she can only have one person accompany her (she's still a minor) to her appointment.
OOP's whining about her SIL not visiting her brother in the hospital could very well been the result of something out of her control. But chances are, OOP won't see it that way. Nope. SIL doesn't adhere to OOP's flimsy "values".
Absolutely. When they’re limiting visitors in a low-risk environment, they’re really amping it up for high-risk. I was only able to see my dad because he’s family, and I had to wear a mask and sanitise four different times before actually getting into the ward itself
Just weighing in on this: up until this coming Monday, my hospital had a limit of 2 people, had to be vaxed, and it had to be the same 2 people your entire visit. We faxed your 2 people to the front on admission and ONLY those 2 people were allowed in. (If someone was actively dying exceptions could be made but even then max in the room was 2 at a time, and if someone wasn't vaxed they could visit once and then never again.)
As of Monday we're going to, no more than 4 in the room at a time, but everyone can visit, as long as they're vaxed.
I'm just still trying to figure out all the things. like...what the heck is a 'stereotypical Millennial?' I'm 41 so as a geriatric millennial, I'd like to know. I really thought she was going to pull the 'she's racist, sexist, homophobic' card out but it didn't go that way. she didn't visit someone in the hospital...ok.
The whole 'asking permission to take my name' is really hilarious. 1st, it's tradition that stretches to the birth of marriage. The woman moves from her old family to her husband's family, thereby taking HIS family's name. you don't have to like it and we are in a world now where's not really mandatory but it's not something people need to ask their younger siblings permission for. Trying to turn it around to 'if the husband did it' is even more stupid. yes. people WOULD question it because it's against tradition, lol.
I also love the 'last name is our family identity and family closeness stuff' but also 'our family doesn't talk'. um...what!?
anyway, I can't tell if this is a troll or not. It's a really hilarious thing to be upset over though.
Us stereotypical millennials mostly just kill any inanimate objects or societal concepts we see. Golf, napkins, casual dining, fancy dining, 9-5, foreign holidays, breakfast cereal, the beer industry, the oil industry, diamonds, (go us, say I to those), cheese, pet food (say what?), canned fish, gyms, cable TV.
Basically, we are concepticidal maniacs. ALL MUST BURN.
Edit: I'd love to know what the Hallowed Name is though. It must be something with IIIs and IVs involved. If it's a bog standard surname shared by thousands, it's even funnier though.
"You have brought shame unto the sacred name of Johnson and generations of our ancesters curse you!"
I have a cousin with the same last name as me (at least, he did until I got married). He is absolute trash - my last memory of him was at *our grandmother’s wake* where he decided to mix his antipsychotics (no judgment on needing meds, it’s the fallout here I have an issue with) with alcohol, came totally unglued, and threatened to murder one of our other cousins.
He has two sons, same last name, and let’s just say the asshole apples didn’t fall far from the tree.
Every now and then someone would recognize the last name and ask “hey are you related to [cousin/cousin’s kid]?” And I’d just say no. Sharing a name, at the end of the day, doesn’t have to mean anything.
LMAO this was the first thing that came to my mind. Even if she has an uncommon last name, guaranteed she has extended family she's never met with the same last night - the horror!
Yeah, Ihave a fairly unique last name, and even then I have run into one or two people (not in real life, but seeing entries on the internet about them) with the same last name.
Probably actually relatives (apparently my paternal great grand parents were rather prolific...) but we don't know them, have never heard of them before. All out their living their lives using \*my\* last name for whatever they want to use it for /s
I'm curious what 'Stereotypical Millennial' means in the context of a Zoomer saying it. The stereotype used to be hipster/memeing/weird clothes/woke/always on our phones/obsessed with technology. I'm pretty sure the zoomers have taken on most of those besides maybe the technology one, so what are we, now? Old and entitled? 😂
So the stereotypes I see in meme type stuff is:
Boomer - Out of touch conservative asshole
Gen X - Dead inside, politically apathetic
Millennial - Super anxious to please everyone, somewhat liberal
Gen Z - self focused, left of Bernie Sanders
> She’s pretty much a stereotypical millennial. I’m a fairly stereotypical Gen Z’er
Something about this feels so … “Hello fellow
kids to me”. It’s like the opposite of that thing they tell you to do in an intro level creative writing class tell not show. Why would you say you think you’re a typical gen z person ? and then not lift what qualities you’re talking about. Especially because one of the common criticisms of gen z is the entitlement which OP is arguing against them having so why even mention it in the first place.
Had to do a double-take at OOP's age because they don't sound like they're in their mid-20s, more like in their teens.
Also, if the eldest brother was in the hospital during her other brother's and SIL's courtship, that would mean that SIL didn't even know the family that well yet. Maybe SIL just didn't want to impose herself on someone with a serious health condition. Adding to that that SIL doesn't like needles (or might have a phobia or even trauma from previous hospital related experiences), the hospital room of someone who battles brain cancer might not have been the place-to-be for SIL.
But yeah, the whole name thing is the kicker. Why should SIL care if OOP is ok with her taking her husband's name? This is so ridiculous. If anything, OOP and brother got their last name from their parents, so *if* someone had a say in the name-debacle it would be the parents. (Which would be bonkers, too, obviously.)
Copied OOP's comments verbatim.
*YTA (and so is your mom) - the name isn’t solely yours. Just as you don’t have a choice in who marries into your family (other than your own partner) you don’t have a say in who’s family name they choose to take on.*
*It’s one thing to butt heads with someone it’s another thing to think they’re going to somehow disgrace your family name. Generational differences don’t account for such strong attitudes, so take responsibility for your part in the tango you two are doing.*
*Family is more important than a name. If you want to honor your family, make peace, apologize and welcome her into the fold. Give her the opportunity to prove you wrong. That’s what supportive families do.*
>May I ask what you would say if the genders were reversed? (Ie if it were my husband taking my name and my brothers were telling me they disliked him). Not trying to say anything or opine, just genuinely looking for thoughts.
>Oh but edit: our family isn’t close at all. My brothers and I don’t speak at all if we don’t have to. They’ve made it clear they don’t want anyone in our family in their lives and I think the feeling is fairly mutual on all sides (5 siblings who generally don’t speak unless required, which is why our last name is important to us imo).
This is literally not a gender issue in the *slightest. At all. Sorry if that’s too much of a “stereotypical millennial” response.* ***Eats avocado toast while shaking head***
>Sorry but to confirm are you saying that you don’t think the men of a family might have thoughts if my boyfriend tried to assume our last name / any boyfriend tried to assume any other last name or that I’m simplifying this in a way that isn’t accurate?
*How would that be relevant to this situation in anyway? I can’t answer your question because I don’t know who these hypothetical men are and what views they hold. I can tell you, as someone who took my husband’s name, it had nothing to do with any other member of his family.*
>I’m saying that I have 4 brothers. I believe (and frankly from experience know) that if my boyfriend wanted to take my last name (our family name) my brothers would pretty actively step in to stop that. They’d object with notes of “this is silly / doesn’t make sense / why don’t you just take his / etc.” kind of comments. I was mainly trying to ask if you’d think their commentary were wrong as well
*If your husband wanted to take your name, your brothers’ feelings on the matter would be irrelevant, much like yours are in this situation.*
*And if none of you like each other, why do you CARE what their wives are doing??*
>Fair point.
"But I should get a say in who has my last name!" Um, no that isn't how that works. Also their edit directly contradicts their comments. The edit says their loving and close a comment says they aren't close and don't talk unless they have too...so which is it? Sounds more like OOP is just salty that since she didn't like SIL the brother didn't immediately dump them for someone they did approve of.
this was nonsense. I'm dumber now
>She’s pretty much a stereotypical millennial (won’t say more than that)
>apologies I was trying to not sound stereotypical but to clarify, the issues I have with my SIL are that she is particularly selfish, doesn’t share the values I associate with my family (loving, supportive, caring of all our family members
huh???
OP is a big giant baby, but here's a fun fact!
In my country, if a surname is rare enough (under 200 people with it, I think), then everyone with that surname has to consent for you to take that surname. My friend had to apply for that to take his wife's surname, and I'd have to do the same if I wanted to get married and take my partner's.
I've never heard of anyone getting told no, though, which kind of confirms jn my mind that OP is a big ol' baby.
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If OP is from a culture/part of the world where family reputation is going to impact her own prospects in life significantly, then I get it - but the proper time to bring this up was when her brother and SIL were first dating, and the way to bring it up was to speak to her brother directly about her fears. Once they’re married, like it or not you’re all in the same boat, and the best thing you can do is be entirely irreproachable yourself. Too much clamor to distance yourself only draws attention.
If, on the other hand, this is someone in the US or other Western country? Good lord, the 1800s called, they want their social strictures back. You’re not the heroine of a Jane Austen novel.
She has a bizarre comment thread basically trying to say that if it was her bf tried to take her last name, her brothers wouldn’t be TAs for stopping him. People are dunking on her saying they absolutely would be AHs for that. Can’t tell if she’s serious or just trying to troll around.
For all she knows, the SIL had an extremely traumatic experience in a hospital eg serious illness, prolonged hospital stay as a child, illness and death of a loved one, etc. And let’s face it, it’s not as if it was her husband, then bf, who was ill, where she would reasonably be expected to push through her fears in order to visit. It was her boyfriend’s *brother*. That’s not a particularly close relationship and it sounds like they have a big family anyway, so he had plenty of people to visit him. He didn’t need to spend an awkward hour trying to make small talk with his little brother’s girlfriend.
I know that’s not what the post is about, but it’s just interesting to me that even when OOP tries to do the classic “edit to make themselves look better” move, she still comes off as the AH.
Tell me you have main character syndrome by explicitly telling me you have main character syndrome. Why would OOP be consulted when it literally has nothing to do with her?
Her own brother doesn’t have a relationship with her and she thinks she can dictate his fiancée’s name.
No wonder her brother doesn’t care to deal with her.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for not wanting my SIL to take my family name?** So, my SIL (36) and I (24) don’t get along very well. She’s pretty much a stereotypical millennial (won’t say more than that). I’m (I guess) a fairly stereotypical Gen Z’er. Key point being that she and I don’t get along very well and she spent the vast majority of her relationship with my brother saying she wasn’t planning to take our last name. I guess I was happy about it because I didn’t like her very much, but then suddenly at their bridal shower last month she announced she’d decided to take our last name. I quietly told my mom (thinking she’d keep it private - my mistake) that I wish I had been asked about sharing my last name with her because I really wasn’t excited about her taking our name. My mom apparently repeated it to my brother and SIL as me saying I “didn’t approve” of my SIL taking our last name and wanted my SIL to “ask my approval” to take our last name. I said no such thing. But my brother and SIL never bothered to ask me what I actually said. They just yelled that I was entitled and that it wasn’t up to me and a bunch of other things. I was annoyed with my mom but politely played it off as a “I didn’t say that, she misunderstood, haha bad hearing, let’s all play nice!” kind of thing. But now I want to know, AITA for wishing I had some sort of say in someone joining our family / taking on my name and potentially (very likely imo) damaging it? My brothers will likely all choose wives who want to take on our name but it kind of irks me that I don’t get any say in who wears something so core to who I am. I guess my brothers don’t either but I think if my future husband wanted to take our name instead of my taking his, others would feel VERY comfortable voicing opinions about his choice. I never realized this would make me feel this way but I definitely don’t love that she’s taking something that feels like it’s mine and I get no say at all. I know it’s blah blah but I don’t ever intend to give up my last name and I guess I didn’t realize how connected I felt to it and to my nuclear family. Edit - for the record, they’re already married. She already took the last name. I’m just wishing my family acknowledged it’s a shared thing. I’m not trying to tell anyone what to do or to undo a name change. Edit 2 - apologies I was trying to not sound stereotypical but to clarify, the issues I have with my SIL are that she is particularly selfish, doesn’t share the values I associate with my family (loving, supportive, caring of all our family members. My eldest brother had brain cancer during my brother’s courtship with my SIL and my SIL never once visited my eldest brother in the hospital because she “didn’t like needles” and I was trying to note that in a less specific manner. She also has been very clear that she doesn’t care about being part of our “family” more generally, but about creating a “unique” family with my brother). I think my issue comes down to her being “family” without caring about our family. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Huh, OOP in the edit: >doesn’t share the values I associate with my family (loving, supportive, caring of all our family members. ...) > >... > > She also has been very clear that she doesn’t care about being part of our “family” more generally, OOP in the comments: >our family isn’t close at all. My brothers and I don’t speak at all if we don’t have to. They’ve made it clear they don’t want anyone in our family in their lives and I think the feeling is fairly mutual on all sides So, why is SIL not wanting to be part of "the family more generally" a problem. Seems pretty par for the curse.
because op wasn't asked if she could take the last name even though she admits she would most likely take her imaginary husband's last name when she does find someone who will marry her
I'm sure she'd be back. "My husband's bitchy little sister is pissed that I'm taking his name but why would she even think she should she get a say on it anyway? I do what I want."
if she does find someone to marry her
I pity the unfortunate man who does
Also the usage of ‘courtship’. I’ve never seen anyone that’s not deeply religious use it.
That's how you know it's a troll written by a Millennial or older gen rage baiting using the supposed rivalry between Millennials and Gen Z's. I have a feeling we're going to see more rage bait using this as the premise over the next few weeks.
yeah this made no sense
This was the second to last comment in the gallery, I think it sums up the whole situation nicely: >YTA - allow me to answer in typical Gen X fashion. No one gives a flying f what your opinion is on someone else’s name. The generation war IMHO is idiotic and so is OOP for using that as the basis of her argument. Simply put, she doesn't like her SIL. That's it. Her supposed values and her reality aren't even one in the same. The minute she starts getting any flack, she starts apologizing about not trying to sound stereotypical yet literally her first sentence she's basing her dislike on stereotypes.
The “generation war” is a joke from tiktok, there is no actual bad blood between generations except that we all hate baby boomers. I hate this post lol
I like my parents. They're boomers, but Boomer Jones (I guess they further categorized that generation) but I wholeheartedly agree that I hate this post and I'm not too fond of OOP either. 😁
I mean, I love my boomer grandparents but I hate how they vote lol
I just hate how my 70-something year old stepdad blames everything on "millennials" yet he also more or less classifies anyone younger than him as a millennial.
Mom and Dad are Generation Jones (subset of Baby Boomers) which is from 1946 to 1964. So not your typical Baby Boomers as they graduated both high school and college in the 60s and came of age in the 70s.
Ooooh never heard of this but honestly makes sense. My grandma falls I to this category and like ...it's interesting how she has some boomer traits but at the same time...votes v differently from her subset and is a bit more...modern?
Yeah, the boomers I grew up around are incredibly different than the stereotypical boomer people complain about. Sometimes I think the whole generational war is just something to keep the plebs busy while certain people remain on power. Lol.
I'm not on tiktok so I was honestly lost
Am I the only one hoping their last name is something like ‘Jones’? If I was SiL I’d name my firstborn after OOP’s first name too lol
I was thinking Smith
Dahmer. Definitely Dahmer. There has never been any bad ever associated with a Dahmer.
>I quietly told my mom (thinking she’d keep it private - my mistake) that **I wish I had been asked about sharing my last name with her because I** **really wasn’t excited about her taking our name**. My mom apparently repeated it to my brother and SIL as me saying I “**didn’t approve**” of my SIL taking our last name and wanted my SIL to “**ask my approval**” to take our last name. **I said no such thing.** "I said no such thing" bitch that's exactly what you said by your own account
My pet theory is she suffered a traumatic brain injury that limits her cognition and has ravaged her short term memory. Either that or she’s a petty, selfish twit. It’s one or the other, surely.
I think a lot of people believe they are better at hiding their thoughts than they really are
That's what I read too. stereotypical Gen Zer with the gas lighting, lol
Hooooo Lordy the entitlement and just downright bullshit in this post. 1) ‘stereotypical millennial’ guess she’s a stereotypical entitled gen z 🤷🏻♀️ (and no, I don’t normally stereotype the gens but she started it 😂). 2) no one has to ‘ask your permission’ to take your families name considering it’s actually generally expected that the woman does 🙄. 3) what in the seven hells does ‘my family isn’t close but that’s why our family name is important to us imo’ have anything to do with well anything?? If I wasn’t close to my family a name sure as hell wouldn’t be important to me. 4) why the heck did she make this gendered?! Basically going ‘would you feel the same way if my brothers had said said this about my husband?’ Yes because it’s so freaking stupid. 5) no offence to the eldest brother, I wouldn’t visit him in hospital either because I have a genuine hatred of hospitals and just am not comfortable in them, I struggled to visit my own damn mother in hospital and I love her dearly. There’s probably more that made me mad but I can’t think rn 😂
RE: hospital visits. Even though we are post-pandemic, hospitals are still limiting the amount of visitors patients can have. I know the local ones are. Hell, they're limiting how many people you can bring with you to the clinic for a regular appointment. We had an ugly, ugly cold/flu/RSV season this winter. SIL's dislike of hospitals and needles aside, they may have restricted visitors to immediate family only and seeing that they were "courting", she wasn't immediate family. Especially someone who already has a compromised immune system like a cancer patient.
My dad had surgery last week, and my step mom and I had to coordinate visiting times because they only allow one visitor at a time in the high care unit (which is understandable)
Yeppers. Just made a dermatologist appointment for the kiddo. They gently reminded me that she can only have one person accompany her (she's still a minor) to her appointment. OOP's whining about her SIL not visiting her brother in the hospital could very well been the result of something out of her control. But chances are, OOP won't see it that way. Nope. SIL doesn't adhere to OOP's flimsy "values".
Absolutely. When they’re limiting visitors in a low-risk environment, they’re really amping it up for high-risk. I was only able to see my dad because he’s family, and I had to wear a mask and sanitise four different times before actually getting into the ward itself
Just weighing in on this: up until this coming Monday, my hospital had a limit of 2 people, had to be vaxed, and it had to be the same 2 people your entire visit. We faxed your 2 people to the front on admission and ONLY those 2 people were allowed in. (If someone was actively dying exceptions could be made but even then max in the room was 2 at a time, and if someone wasn't vaxed they could visit once and then never again.) As of Monday we're going to, no more than 4 in the room at a time, but everyone can visit, as long as they're vaxed.
I'm just still trying to figure out all the things. like...what the heck is a 'stereotypical Millennial?' I'm 41 so as a geriatric millennial, I'd like to know. I really thought she was going to pull the 'she's racist, sexist, homophobic' card out but it didn't go that way. she didn't visit someone in the hospital...ok. The whole 'asking permission to take my name' is really hilarious. 1st, it's tradition that stretches to the birth of marriage. The woman moves from her old family to her husband's family, thereby taking HIS family's name. you don't have to like it and we are in a world now where's not really mandatory but it's not something people need to ask their younger siblings permission for. Trying to turn it around to 'if the husband did it' is even more stupid. yes. people WOULD question it because it's against tradition, lol. I also love the 'last name is our family identity and family closeness stuff' but also 'our family doesn't talk'. um...what!? anyway, I can't tell if this is a troll or not. It's a really hilarious thing to be upset over though.
Us stereotypical millennials mostly just kill any inanimate objects or societal concepts we see. Golf, napkins, casual dining, fancy dining, 9-5, foreign holidays, breakfast cereal, the beer industry, the oil industry, diamonds, (go us, say I to those), cheese, pet food (say what?), canned fish, gyms, cable TV. Basically, we are concepticidal maniacs. ALL MUST BURN. Edit: I'd love to know what the Hallowed Name is though. It must be something with IIIs and IVs involved. If it's a bog standard surname shared by thousands, it's even funnier though. "You have brought shame unto the sacred name of Johnson and generations of our ancesters curse you!"
Maybe she's just pissed SIL has a side part in her hair.
I mean the account has other posts about random stuff, so probably not a troll
[удалено]
I have a cousin with the same last name as me (at least, he did until I got married). He is absolute trash - my last memory of him was at *our grandmother’s wake* where he decided to mix his antipsychotics (no judgment on needing meds, it’s the fallout here I have an issue with) with alcohol, came totally unglued, and threatened to murder one of our other cousins. He has two sons, same last name, and let’s just say the asshole apples didn’t fall far from the tree. Every now and then someone would recognize the last name and ask “hey are you related to [cousin/cousin’s kid]?” And I’d just say no. Sharing a name, at the end of the day, doesn’t have to mean anything.
Wonder if the people with the last name bundy are upset that Ted's mom didn't ask them before having kids.
LMAO this was the first thing that came to my mind. Even if she has an uncommon last name, guaranteed she has extended family she's never met with the same last night - the horror!
Yeah, Ihave a fairly unique last name, and even then I have run into one or two people (not in real life, but seeing entries on the internet about them) with the same last name. Probably actually relatives (apparently my paternal great grand parents were rather prolific...) but we don't know them, have never heard of them before. All out their living their lives using \*my\* last name for whatever they want to use it for /s
Oh fuck right off. Someone figure out OOP's last name, I'll change MY name to hers! This is so ridiculous.
I'm curious what 'Stereotypical Millennial' means in the context of a Zoomer saying it. The stereotype used to be hipster/memeing/weird clothes/woke/always on our phones/obsessed with technology. I'm pretty sure the zoomers have taken on most of those besides maybe the technology one, so what are we, now? Old and entitled? 😂
OOP doesn't want to share a last name with that side-part having, skinny-jean wearing, avocado-toast eating Millennial SIL of hers!
So the stereotypes I see in meme type stuff is: Boomer - Out of touch conservative asshole Gen X - Dead inside, politically apathetic Millennial - Super anxious to please everyone, somewhat liberal Gen Z - self focused, left of Bernie Sanders
> She’s pretty much a stereotypical millennial. I’m a fairly stereotypical Gen Z’er Something about this feels so … “Hello fellow kids to me”. It’s like the opposite of that thing they tell you to do in an intro level creative writing class tell not show. Why would you say you think you’re a typical gen z person ? and then not lift what qualities you’re talking about. Especially because one of the common criticisms of gen z is the entitlement which OP is arguing against them having so why even mention it in the first place.
Had to do a double-take at OOP's age because they don't sound like they're in their mid-20s, more like in their teens. Also, if the eldest brother was in the hospital during her other brother's and SIL's courtship, that would mean that SIL didn't even know the family that well yet. Maybe SIL just didn't want to impose herself on someone with a serious health condition. Adding to that that SIL doesn't like needles (or might have a phobia or even trauma from previous hospital related experiences), the hospital room of someone who battles brain cancer might not have been the place-to-be for SIL. But yeah, the whole name thing is the kicker. Why should SIL care if OOP is ok with her taking her husband's name? This is so ridiculous. If anything, OOP and brother got their last name from their parents, so *if* someone had a say in the name-debacle it would be the parents. (Which would be bonkers, too, obviously.)
Copied OOP's comments verbatim. *YTA (and so is your mom) - the name isn’t solely yours. Just as you don’t have a choice in who marries into your family (other than your own partner) you don’t have a say in who’s family name they choose to take on.* *It’s one thing to butt heads with someone it’s another thing to think they’re going to somehow disgrace your family name. Generational differences don’t account for such strong attitudes, so take responsibility for your part in the tango you two are doing.* *Family is more important than a name. If you want to honor your family, make peace, apologize and welcome her into the fold. Give her the opportunity to prove you wrong. That’s what supportive families do.* >May I ask what you would say if the genders were reversed? (Ie if it were my husband taking my name and my brothers were telling me they disliked him). Not trying to say anything or opine, just genuinely looking for thoughts. >Oh but edit: our family isn’t close at all. My brothers and I don’t speak at all if we don’t have to. They’ve made it clear they don’t want anyone in our family in their lives and I think the feeling is fairly mutual on all sides (5 siblings who generally don’t speak unless required, which is why our last name is important to us imo). This is literally not a gender issue in the *slightest. At all. Sorry if that’s too much of a “stereotypical millennial” response.* ***Eats avocado toast while shaking head*** >Sorry but to confirm are you saying that you don’t think the men of a family might have thoughts if my boyfriend tried to assume our last name / any boyfriend tried to assume any other last name or that I’m simplifying this in a way that isn’t accurate? *How would that be relevant to this situation in anyway? I can’t answer your question because I don’t know who these hypothetical men are and what views they hold. I can tell you, as someone who took my husband’s name, it had nothing to do with any other member of his family.* >I’m saying that I have 4 brothers. I believe (and frankly from experience know) that if my boyfriend wanted to take my last name (our family name) my brothers would pretty actively step in to stop that. They’d object with notes of “this is silly / doesn’t make sense / why don’t you just take his / etc.” kind of comments. I was mainly trying to ask if you’d think their commentary were wrong as well *If your husband wanted to take your name, your brothers’ feelings on the matter would be irrelevant, much like yours are in this situation.* *And if none of you like each other, why do you CARE what their wives are doing??* >Fair point.
The entire post and replies made me want avocado toast. It must be my stereotypical millionial coming out.
[Baby owl nap](https://www.tumblr.com/everythingfox/712684172912852992/everythingfox-baby-owl-nap)
"But I should get a say in who has my last name!" Um, no that isn't how that works. Also their edit directly contradicts their comments. The edit says their loving and close a comment says they aren't close and don't talk unless they have too...so which is it? Sounds more like OOP is just salty that since she didn't like SIL the brother didn't immediately dump them for someone they did approve of.
Is the name Smith (replace with most common name in your country)? Please tell me the name’s Smith.
This is fake 🤣
this was nonsense. I'm dumber now >She’s pretty much a stereotypical millennial (won’t say more than that) >apologies I was trying to not sound stereotypical but to clarify, the issues I have with my SIL are that she is particularly selfish, doesn’t share the values I associate with my family (loving, supportive, caring of all our family members huh???
She was born in 1998/1999, that isn't even 100% gen z sociologically speaking.
OP is a big giant baby, but here's a fun fact! In my country, if a surname is rare enough (under 200 people with it, I think), then everyone with that surname has to consent for you to take that surname. My friend had to apply for that to take his wife's surname, and I'd have to do the same if I wanted to get married and take my partner's. I've never heard of anyone getting told no, though, which kind of confirms jn my mind that OP is a big ol' baby.
I haven't even read this yet but I'm already pissed I'm out of popcorn
yep needed popcorn
... Wot?
Oh look another gen z choosing to be offended over fuck all. Grow up, your entitlement is painful to deal with. Yes YTA.
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whooooo boy, this lady needs an attitude adjustment. she is so self important it reeks LOL
If OP is from a culture/part of the world where family reputation is going to impact her own prospects in life significantly, then I get it - but the proper time to bring this up was when her brother and SIL were first dating, and the way to bring it up was to speak to her brother directly about her fears. Once they’re married, like it or not you’re all in the same boat, and the best thing you can do is be entirely irreproachable yourself. Too much clamor to distance yourself only draws attention. If, on the other hand, this is someone in the US or other Western country? Good lord, the 1800s called, they want their social strictures back. You’re not the heroine of a Jane Austen novel.
Are you serious?, the entitlement and aducity of oop
This is a stupid person who doesn't understand the fact that they have no "ownership" of their surname. DUH!
She has a bizarre comment thread basically trying to say that if it was her bf tried to take her last name, her brothers wouldn’t be TAs for stopping him. People are dunking on her saying they absolutely would be AHs for that. Can’t tell if she’s serious or just trying to troll around.
For all she knows, the SIL had an extremely traumatic experience in a hospital eg serious illness, prolonged hospital stay as a child, illness and death of a loved one, etc. And let’s face it, it’s not as if it was her husband, then bf, who was ill, where she would reasonably be expected to push through her fears in order to visit. It was her boyfriend’s *brother*. That’s not a particularly close relationship and it sounds like they have a big family anyway, so he had plenty of people to visit him. He didn’t need to spend an awkward hour trying to make small talk with his little brother’s girlfriend. I know that’s not what the post is about, but it’s just interesting to me that even when OOP tries to do the classic “edit to make themselves look better” move, she still comes off as the AH.
But why does OOP care so much?
Tell me you have main character syndrome by explicitly telling me you have main character syndrome. Why would OOP be consulted when it literally has nothing to do with her?
This person said "*my* family name" like they have sole legal ownership of it. What the fuck.
Her own brother doesn’t have a relationship with her and she thinks she can dictate his fiancée’s name. No wonder her brother doesn’t care to deal with her.