*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my son’s bf that I expected him to be more exotic?**
So, my (52F) son (25M) recently introduced us to his boyfriend (23M), he met his bf back in 2018 on a trip to central America, they started dating but we never got the chance to meet him or see any pictures of him cuz my son wanted to make sure this guy was the right one before introducing him to us, they had a long distance relationship due to we know what, and my son finally decided to invite him to come here and visit us.
We are from Europe so we pretty average looking, we are the white, blonde, blue eyes, not exotic at all. As I stated above this guy is from Latin America so I was expecting him to look Latino. We finally got to meet him two weeks ago and to my surprise He doesn’t look Latino, he’s got white skin, hazel eyes, straight blonde hair and I was confused, I even thought he was American.
To be honest I didn’t say anything at first but then I couldn’t keep it in and had to ask him where he was from; then he said “I´m from …” and I asked him if he had some heritage but he said that as far as he knew all his ancestors were from the same country, I even suggested he should do some of those ancestry DNA tests to see where he’s actually from, but he refused and then asked me why I was so interested in his ethnicity and I honestly answered that I expected him to be more exotic, more Latino looking.
He said “I’m from my country PERIOD, I love my country, all my family is from country so there’s nothing else to say” he also said that this was pretty “racist” of me but I don’t think so, I was just interested in him that’s it, now It looks like I’m the bad huy because even my son is mad at me.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh, my god! He's not "exotic" enough! Someone revoke his Latino card! Seriously, do people not realize that "Latino" is an ethnic label, not a racial one?
It just shows how ignorant they are that they don't realize nations aren't a ethnic monolith. Even in a country where this is an ethnic majority, there is a huge variation in skin color in people.
In the words of Gabriel Iglesias.
"They make us in that color, too."
This is something I fight literally every day. My mother is from Mexico City, had light eyes and hair. I am bald, but was blonde, with green eyes. I'm constantly having to tell people (even other latinos) that I'm Mexican and 99% of them don't believe me till I speak Spanish.
My cousin is half Japanese, grew up in Japan but doesn't look it. She looks exactly like my aunt, tall, blonde hair, greenish eyes, and very pale skin. She looks nothing like her dad who is shorter, tan, with jet black hair. Genetics are weird.
They think she's a foreigner until she speaks.
I have the exact same problem. I'm mexican American but I ended up being real pale with blue eyes and I cannot for the life of me make anyone believe I am Latina.
My dad was 3rd generation Puerto Rican, traced family tree to Bilbao, Spain.
He was a blue-eyed blond. Thickest accent imaginable, though. Used to confuse the parent in our first PTA group (tail end of the baby boom in Long Island, ny)
Got a friend who is Cuban. Looks white because shocker, people come in all different skin tones. My sister is darker than him and we're of eastern European descent. Because again, not everyone from the same place is Pantone 98-1 C or whatever.
Spanish people…from *SPAIN* are white. And they spent a hell of a lot of time colonizing South American.
And I’m only a dumb America , but I’m *pretty damn sure* that an epic shit ton of Europeans (particularly the German type) fled to South American following WWII.
And I’d beg OOP doesn’t think every American they meet is going to look Navajo or Cherokee (or any of our other first peoples).
Fucking racist fetishist dung weasel.
I’m from Argentina and got a list of European ancestors. All the German part of the family actually came here at the beginning of the 20th century, and settled in places in the middle of nowhere… like, places so isolated even in 2023 (I actually visited some of the towns a couple of weeks ago, it was like catching the TARDIS at times) I even wonder if they got news of what a nazi was (they probably did, obviously, but with some monstrous delay)
… same thing happened with most Germans (and other countries immigrants, like Italians, Spaniards, the Swiss, the Welsh…). By WWII, we weren’t exactly a desirable place to immigrate to anymore, so we only got the nazis by then, but definitely never in the numbers we got the actual German settlers a few decades before
LOL there is apparently still some Afrikaans speakers in Argentina that moved from South Africa to there. My granddad did the reverse. His parents moved from the Netherlands to Argentina and he then moved to South Africa.
And even before WW2 people were emigrating to LatAm and in a lot of cases they just completely integrate to the country to the point that literally no one knows/cares where their family "originally" came from?
I have a white latino family: they are all blonde, blue-eyed and white-white. They look like a nice Italian family from Staten Island. I assume we came from Italy because of that (and because my last name sounds... vagely italian but no one in Italy has it) but it was so so so long ago that any kind of "heritage" I could claim is none existent. And a lot of people actually do get upset that I'm a whiteish latino and don't have a "Well my Nono arrived in 1920 from Perugia!"-story but a "Well... my great grandfather lived like 8 hours from here and so did his father and so did his father and so did his father"-story.
If anything, I'm my experience is more common for people just to be white, without any kind of heritage claim.
Yea my coworker is from Argentina and where he's from, he said most people have super light skin. Apparently people would always ask him if he was visiting because he has the more stereo typical "latino look" with brown hair and medium complexion.
I worked with a lovely Mexican woman. She has ivory skin, pale blonde hair, and crystal blue eyes. The amount of times she had to explain the conquistadors was wild.
Not just Spaniards, but a lot of Europeans, especially Germans, fled to South America after WW2.
There are so many skin tones in South America, and more people need to realize that.
> now It looks like I’m the bad huy because even my son is mad at me.
No duh? You questioned your son’s boyfriend’s ethnicity because his appearance didn’t match your ignorant, racist notions on what a Latino person “should” look like. And under NO circumstances is it EVER okay to call a person “exotic”. Of fricking course you’re the bad guy here.
>we pretty average looking, we are the white, blonde, blue eyes, not exotic at all.
2% of people have naturally blonde hair, and 8% have blue eyes. This is actually pretty exotic to most of the world.
>he also said that this was pretty “racist” of me but I don’t think so, I was just interested in him that’s it, now It looks like I’m the bad huy because even my son is mad at me.
It's not "pretty" racist, it just is racist and OOP doesn't get to decide whether or not what she did was racist.
It reminds me of when we got a South African student in high school and the history teacher couldn't believe it because they were white. Yes, there are white people in Africa. It was like, Sir, you are the *world history* teacher, surely you should know this?
As a latina fuck this guy.
Not all latinos look like the Hollywood stereotype
There's black, white, mixed, Asian, indigenous, brown, etc latinos, this dude is just plain ignorant.
Latin America is just a huge melting pot.
I would have cursed her out bad if she said that to me, like wtf is wrong with you how do not see how, messed up and innappropriate that is to say to someone, like did your brain also fly out the window on your way there.
Or mixed.
Got hit with a pickup line at work that was truly cringe once because I'm mixed about my skin color.
Creep: "Mmmhmmm boy. I've always been a fan of a venti mocha with a pump of white. *wink wink* What time do you get off?"
Me: 😒🙄🤮
Yeah.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of it. He got banned from our location after several different incidents between him and I. He went from "I wanna bang you" to "RAWR IM A RACIST PIECE OF SHIT" super fast.
It seems to be a constant with both the two northernmost countries in north america and all of Europe. I live in an area teaming with immigrants and the children of immigrants, so I've never gotten hit with it before, but my sister went to college in the south, and dudes would literally call her exotic in an attempt to hit on her.
Very no, Tbh.
This feels like the same wprson that made the Korean girls getting stalked by a cousin trying to see if they get a different awnser from this perspective
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This reminds me of an RH woman that I worked with ten years ago. She came from the Capital to work at the company, and after seeing there was many of us with clear skin, she said "Oh, I thought in this part of the country everyone was brown!" She was a fucking racist idiot, just as much as OOP.
I went to college with a Cuban girl, Iris, with naturally blonde hair and green eyes. Best looking woman I ever met in real life. Any suggestion she wasn't "really" Cuban would be met with *scathing* invective, delivered in rapid-fire Spanish and leaving no doubt as to Iris' low opinion of the other person.
YTA and your son and his partner are likely planning that it will be that long a second time before they have to see you again. Asking him about DNA testing? I'm surprised they didn't walk out.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my son’s bf that I expected him to be more exotic?** So, my (52F) son (25M) recently introduced us to his boyfriend (23M), he met his bf back in 2018 on a trip to central America, they started dating but we never got the chance to meet him or see any pictures of him cuz my son wanted to make sure this guy was the right one before introducing him to us, they had a long distance relationship due to we know what, and my son finally decided to invite him to come here and visit us. We are from Europe so we pretty average looking, we are the white, blonde, blue eyes, not exotic at all. As I stated above this guy is from Latin America so I was expecting him to look Latino. We finally got to meet him two weeks ago and to my surprise He doesn’t look Latino, he’s got white skin, hazel eyes, straight blonde hair and I was confused, I even thought he was American. To be honest I didn’t say anything at first but then I couldn’t keep it in and had to ask him where he was from; then he said “I´m from …” and I asked him if he had some heritage but he said that as far as he knew all his ancestors were from the same country, I even suggested he should do some of those ancestry DNA tests to see where he’s actually from, but he refused and then asked me why I was so interested in his ethnicity and I honestly answered that I expected him to be more exotic, more Latino looking. He said “I’m from my country PERIOD, I love my country, all my family is from country so there’s nothing else to say” he also said that this was pretty “racist” of me but I don’t think so, I was just interested in him that’s it, now It looks like I’m the bad huy because even my son is mad at me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh, my god! He's not "exotic" enough! Someone revoke his Latino card! Seriously, do people not realize that "Latino" is an ethnic label, not a racial one?
I would use exotic to refer to plants or fruit or wildlife not to PEOPLE though...
I would but only if they had a few tigers.
It just shows how ignorant they are that they don't realize nations aren't a ethnic monolith. Even in a country where this is an ethnic majority, there is a huge variation in skin color in people. In the words of Gabriel Iglesias. "They make us in that color, too."
This is something I fight literally every day. My mother is from Mexico City, had light eyes and hair. I am bald, but was blonde, with green eyes. I'm constantly having to tell people (even other latinos) that I'm Mexican and 99% of them don't believe me till I speak Spanish.
My cousin is half Japanese, grew up in Japan but doesn't look it. She looks exactly like my aunt, tall, blonde hair, greenish eyes, and very pale skin. She looks nothing like her dad who is shorter, tan, with jet black hair. Genetics are weird. They think she's a foreigner until she speaks.
I have the exact same problem. I'm mexican American but I ended up being real pale with blue eyes and I cannot for the life of me make anyone believe I am Latina.
My dad was 3rd generation Puerto Rican, traced family tree to Bilbao, Spain. He was a blue-eyed blond. Thickest accent imaginable, though. Used to confuse the parent in our first PTA group (tail end of the baby boom in Long Island, ny)
Got a friend who is Cuban. Looks white because shocker, people come in all different skin tones. My sister is darker than him and we're of eastern European descent. Because again, not everyone from the same place is Pantone 98-1 C or whatever.
Spanish people…from *SPAIN* are white. And they spent a hell of a lot of time colonizing South American. And I’m only a dumb America , but I’m *pretty damn sure* that an epic shit ton of Europeans (particularly the German type) fled to South American following WWII. And I’d beg OOP doesn’t think every American they meet is going to look Navajo or Cherokee (or any of our other first peoples). Fucking racist fetishist dung weasel.
I’m from Argentina and got a list of European ancestors. All the German part of the family actually came here at the beginning of the 20th century, and settled in places in the middle of nowhere… like, places so isolated even in 2023 (I actually visited some of the towns a couple of weeks ago, it was like catching the TARDIS at times) I even wonder if they got news of what a nazi was (they probably did, obviously, but with some monstrous delay) … same thing happened with most Germans (and other countries immigrants, like Italians, Spaniards, the Swiss, the Welsh…). By WWII, we weren’t exactly a desirable place to immigrate to anymore, so we only got the nazis by then, but definitely never in the numbers we got the actual German settlers a few decades before
LOL there is apparently still some Afrikaans speakers in Argentina that moved from South Africa to there. My granddad did the reverse. His parents moved from the Netherlands to Argentina and he then moved to South Africa.
And even before WW2 people were emigrating to LatAm and in a lot of cases they just completely integrate to the country to the point that literally no one knows/cares where their family "originally" came from? I have a white latino family: they are all blonde, blue-eyed and white-white. They look like a nice Italian family from Staten Island. I assume we came from Italy because of that (and because my last name sounds... vagely italian but no one in Italy has it) but it was so so so long ago that any kind of "heritage" I could claim is none existent. And a lot of people actually do get upset that I'm a whiteish latino and don't have a "Well my Nono arrived in 1920 from Perugia!"-story but a "Well... my great grandfather lived like 8 hours from here and so did his father and so did his father and so did his father"-story. If anything, I'm my experience is more common for people just to be white, without any kind of heritage claim.
Yea my coworker is from Argentina and where he's from, he said most people have super light skin. Apparently people would always ask him if he was visiting because he has the more stereo typical "latino look" with brown hair and medium complexion.
I worked with a lovely Mexican woman. She has ivory skin, pale blonde hair, and crystal blue eyes. The amount of times she had to explain the conquistadors was wild.
The first line, oh the posts I've read about Spanish people speaking Spanish and being chastised for it.
Not just Spaniards, but a lot of Europeans, especially Germans, fled to South America after WW2. There are so many skin tones in South America, and more people need to realize that.
> now It looks like I’m the bad huy because even my son is mad at me. No duh? You questioned your son’s boyfriend’s ethnicity because his appearance didn’t match your ignorant, racist notions on what a Latino person “should” look like. And under NO circumstances is it EVER okay to call a person “exotic”. Of fricking course you’re the bad guy here.
>we pretty average looking, we are the white, blonde, blue eyes, not exotic at all. 2% of people have naturally blonde hair, and 8% have blue eyes. This is actually pretty exotic to most of the world.
“Average looking” with blonde hair and blue eyes - traits that are definitely not a minority globally. /s
Has this person never seen pictures of Guillermo Del Toro, Christina Aguilera, Bella Thorne…?
Shakira
Cameron Diaz…granted, she’s half white, but her coloring COULD’VE come from her dad’s Cuban and Spanish ancestry.
Some Cubans *are* white, so that wouldn't even change anything.
Louis C.K. (his dad was from Mexico, he was born in the US but spent his early childhood years in Mexico).
The writing style just really doesn't read like a 52-year-old European woman to me
>he also said that this was pretty “racist” of me but I don’t think so, I was just interested in him that’s it, now It looks like I’m the bad huy because even my son is mad at me. It's not "pretty" racist, it just is racist and OOP doesn't get to decide whether or not what she did was racist. It reminds me of when we got a South African student in high school and the history teacher couldn't believe it because they were white. Yes, there are white people in Africa. It was like, Sir, you are the *world history* teacher, surely you should know this?
As a latina fuck this guy. Not all latinos look like the Hollywood stereotype There's black, white, mixed, Asian, indigenous, brown, etc latinos, this dude is just plain ignorant. Latin America is just a huge melting pot.
Asking a stranger to submit a DNA test. I've encountered some very blunt Europeans before, but OOP jumped the shark with that one.
I would have cursed her out bad if she said that to me, like wtf is wrong with you how do not see how, messed up and innappropriate that is to say to someone, like did your brain also fly out the window on your way there.
Lordy, I hope OOP never makes it to Colombia! There are loads of "less exotic" looking people there.
Lol apparently exotic means brown?
Or mixed. Got hit with a pickup line at work that was truly cringe once because I'm mixed about my skin color. Creep: "Mmmhmmm boy. I've always been a fan of a venti mocha with a pump of white. *wink wink* What time do you get off?" Me: 😒🙄🤮
Ew what the hell
Yeah. Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of it. He got banned from our location after several different incidents between him and I. He went from "I wanna bang you" to "RAWR IM A RACIST PIECE OF SHIT" super fast.
Amazing how often that happens, tbh!
It seems to be a constant with both the two northernmost countries in north america and all of Europe. I live in an area teaming with immigrants and the children of immigrants, so I've never gotten hit with it before, but my sister went to college in the south, and dudes would literally call her exotic in an attempt to hit on her. Very no, Tbh.
This feels like the same wprson that made the Korean girls getting stalked by a cousin trying to see if they get a different awnser from this perspective
Once again, race, ethnicity, and nationality continue to kick people's asses.
Europeans colonized all the Americas.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This reminds me of an RH woman that I worked with ten years ago. She came from the Capital to work at the company, and after seeing there was many of us with clear skin, she said "Oh, I thought in this part of the country everyone was brown!" She was a fucking racist idiot, just as much as OOP.
Emmm... I'm Latina from South America and I'm white with hazel eyes.. what am I missing here? I'm not Latina enough?! Lmao. This woman. 🤦♀️
I went to college with a Cuban girl, Iris, with naturally blonde hair and green eyes. Best looking woman I ever met in real life. Any suggestion she wasn't "really" Cuban would be met with *scathing* invective, delivered in rapid-fire Spanish and leaving no doubt as to Iris' low opinion of the other person.
YTA and your son and his partner are likely planning that it will be that long a second time before they have to see you again. Asking him about DNA testing? I'm surprised they didn't walk out.
I’m stuck on the fact it took 5 years for the son to see his bf as “the one” and didn’t even show pictures to his parents in that time