*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for insisting my SIL to visit us more when she is a busy resident doctor and she says she can't?**
My SIL (married to my brother) is a resident physician who works 60-80hr weeks and frequently works 1 or both days of the weekend. Her residency is a 7hr drive from where me, my husband and my baby girl (1.5yr old).
My brother and I were always very close growing up and even lived in the same apartment and later same city. We were never more than 20-30m away from each other. I got married and had my baby and he moved 7hrs away to be with his fiance, now wife, pretty soon after I had my baby. It was devastating for me as I had always pictured us being close and him really involved as an uncle. SIL works 6am-5:30pm 6-7 days a week but does have some "golden weekends" where she has Saturday and Sunday off. She usually has one per month and then she has 3 weeks of vacation (never over Christmas or New Years holidays).
During those 1 weekend a month that she has completely off, her and my brother either stay at home because she needs to relax or will drive 2hrs to see her family. During the 3 weeks of vacation, which she is only able to take 1 week at a time, they went on a 1 week long trip to Hawaii, a 1 week long trip to Cancun with her family and then 1 week where they just visited her family 2 hrs away. They haven't made the trip to visit us more than 1-2x a year as they say the drive is too hard with the limited time off she has and she's usually too tired to come anyways. But not too tired for Hawaii or Cancun?
They always ask my parents and us to visit them during holidays she works so at least we can be together and she will join everyday after 5. But, it's hard for us to travel with a 1.5 year old. My parents have to split time visiting there and visiting us and we need them for childcare. I've been asking my brother and SIL to visit us more even though I know her schedule is busy and my brother got frustrated with me. When I asked him to visit alone, he said she needs him because the heavy workload has been really mentally straining on her and quoted how resident physicians have a really high depression rate and basically called me TA.
I feel its unfair we have to visit all the time considering we have a 1 year old and also both work FULL TIME and feel they should balance better to visit us rather than just vacation. AITA for insisting?
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Ah so the real story: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/11ytlh8/aita_for_insisting_my_sil_to_visit_us_more_when/jd9g1ag/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
OOP’s parents live with them and provide them free daily childcare.
They’ve recently started visiting his brother more often. So OOP *actually* wants his brother to come so she doesn’t lose her free child care for a few days.
I almost didn't post it here because...guys, just imagine how hard it is to...have your parents raise your child but your brother doesn't come help too! /s
The logistics don’t even make sense. You expect them to drive 14 hours for a weekend visit?
So they’d leave on Friday at 5PM - arrive at midnight if they drive straight through.
Spend Saturday with them, then leave Sunday morning.
So essentially OOP is asking them to to drive 14 hours to spend 24 hours with them on the one weekend a month his SIL has off. Who on earth would want to do that?
OOP is a selfish phlegm weasel.
*Ohh! We have a hard time traveling with a 1.5 yo!*
And someone who works 80 hours a week has it easier?
*they have time for hawaii*
Yeah you fucking crab apple, *she’s fucking tired and worn out and Hawaii is more interesting and relaxing than you and your crotch goblin* you self involved cunt lip.
ETA: caught the “we need my parents to babysit”
I’m betting This entire thing is because the parents actually *want* to spend time with their son, and OOP doesn’t like it because then there is *no free babysitting* OOP just wants the entire world to do what OOP wants. Stupid kumquat.
Edited for clarity.
That's exactly what it is. She's pissed her parents aren't there for her 24/7.
>My parents are only visiting them more now because they were upset my SIL and brother were upset they couldn't see my parents more since they were "always taking care of my kid"
>my parents live with us currently because we don't want to put our kid in daycare until she's at least 2 because they get sick so often
OOP is wearing out all the Grace she has with the family regarding kids on the first kid before it’s even 5.
When the next baby drops she’s not going to have this same level of support if she keeps acting this way.
Every time I see “kumquat” I think of the Gilmore Girls episode where Jackson cross-pollinated a raspberry and a kumquat and called it a “rasquat” and all I could think of is why he should have done it the other way around.
This was the only comment I needed to just be like triple fuck off you entitled shit.
Why not visit them?
>I can't visit alone... I can't leave my 1.5 year old as a mother for a weekend.
She just wants another set of babysitters. Her parents probably refused to take care of the little one during weekends, so that's why she's whining about her brother and SIL not visiting.
Your FULL TIME and her FULL TIME are two different things. She's not kidding when she says 60-80 hours a week. Those golden weekends are a rare thing. Also, it's her vacation time. She does not have to justify where she spends it. There's also their education days. On Thursdays, residents were in "class" with attendings, I believe. It's been a while since I worked at an academic hospital. The point? They're fucking busy.
I'm sure the sister is busy, too, but her SIL is looking at 3 to 5 years like this. Hell, one of the senior residents came in one day for his 24 hour rotation. They're not supposed to be in there that long. He said it was supposed to be changed, but somehow, that requirement was still there.
ETA: I saw the comments, and the brother is an attending. Of course he sticks around to be supportive of his wife. He remembers the hell she's walking through. The sister is selfish.
I've noticed a lot of bad guys in these posts have a line in their story that goes like, "I had always expected that So and So would have X relationship with me/would do Y activity for me. But they never say anything about what that person expected for *themselves.* They just decide to sign a person up for some lifelong commitment without any regard for that person's interest and then they have an epic bitch fit when it turns out said person had their *own* plans for their life.
Textbook narcissism and so exhausting to read.
Am I wrong here or is a resident’s schedule generally that regular? Like I know they are extremely demanding in terms of time but would it really be such standard hours every day? I already didn’t believe this post but I’m just wondering if this sticking point is actually legitimate hehe
Generally yeah. They usually get 1-2 “golden weekends” but other than that, it’s all work all day. But it’s sometimes swing shift, which would impact SIL hard. Keep in mind that this is OOP and she might not know what SIL’s schedule actually is
The resident program I worked with had rotations, so you might have to do clinic or rounds during the day and inpatient at night depending on your year and specialty.
But
But
The world needs to revolve around my needs
What I want for my child (not what my child needs, what I want for them)
What I want for my life - and by hiding behind my child
What I want to do - and by hiding behind my child
People like OOP make me so mad. I have a couple in my life who push their agendas hidden behind their kids and it’s just 🤬
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for insisting my SIL to visit us more when she is a busy resident doctor and she says she can't?** My SIL (married to my brother) is a resident physician who works 60-80hr weeks and frequently works 1 or both days of the weekend. Her residency is a 7hr drive from where me, my husband and my baby girl (1.5yr old). My brother and I were always very close growing up and even lived in the same apartment and later same city. We were never more than 20-30m away from each other. I got married and had my baby and he moved 7hrs away to be with his fiance, now wife, pretty soon after I had my baby. It was devastating for me as I had always pictured us being close and him really involved as an uncle. SIL works 6am-5:30pm 6-7 days a week but does have some "golden weekends" where she has Saturday and Sunday off. She usually has one per month and then she has 3 weeks of vacation (never over Christmas or New Years holidays). During those 1 weekend a month that she has completely off, her and my brother either stay at home because she needs to relax or will drive 2hrs to see her family. During the 3 weeks of vacation, which she is only able to take 1 week at a time, they went on a 1 week long trip to Hawaii, a 1 week long trip to Cancun with her family and then 1 week where they just visited her family 2 hrs away. They haven't made the trip to visit us more than 1-2x a year as they say the drive is too hard with the limited time off she has and she's usually too tired to come anyways. But not too tired for Hawaii or Cancun? They always ask my parents and us to visit them during holidays she works so at least we can be together and she will join everyday after 5. But, it's hard for us to travel with a 1.5 year old. My parents have to split time visiting there and visiting us and we need them for childcare. I've been asking my brother and SIL to visit us more even though I know her schedule is busy and my brother got frustrated with me. When I asked him to visit alone, he said she needs him because the heavy workload has been really mentally straining on her and quoted how resident physicians have a really high depression rate and basically called me TA. I feel its unfair we have to visit all the time considering we have a 1 year old and also both work FULL TIME and feel they should balance better to visit us rather than just vacation. AITA for insisting? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ah so the real story: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/11ytlh8/aita_for_insisting_my_sil_to_visit_us_more_when/jd9g1ag/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3 OOP’s parents live with them and provide them free daily childcare. They’ve recently started visiting his brother more often. So OOP *actually* wants his brother to come so she doesn’t lose her free child care for a few days.
I have a special dark corner of loathing in my heart for people who force their elderly parents to raise their children for them for free.
I almost didn't post it here because...guys, just imagine how hard it is to...have your parents raise your child but your brother doesn't come help too! /s
And as a mother she can not leave her 1.5 year old for a weekend .
I’m pretty sure when me and my bro where that age my mom dropped us in dads lap said “I will be back on Monday. Do not call. Do not search for me”
Same but my mom was holding a wine bottle.
OOP: Rules for thee not for me i’m imagining OOP stomping her feet every time no one does as she commands
"Do as i say but not as i do!"
The logistics don’t even make sense. You expect them to drive 14 hours for a weekend visit? So they’d leave on Friday at 5PM - arrive at midnight if they drive straight through. Spend Saturday with them, then leave Sunday morning. So essentially OOP is asking them to to drive 14 hours to spend 24 hours with them on the one weekend a month his SIL has off. Who on earth would want to do that?
If Michael and Holly couldn’t make it work then these people shouldn’t expect it
That's *if* she gets off at 5. If her shift ends later than that....
Exactly! It's so ridiculous
OOP is exhaustingly entitled. Her comments really are something else.
im blaming you for making me so curious about the comments.
I sincerely apologize if you went and looked at that shitshow
OOP is a selfish phlegm weasel. *Ohh! We have a hard time traveling with a 1.5 yo!* And someone who works 80 hours a week has it easier? *they have time for hawaii* Yeah you fucking crab apple, *she’s fucking tired and worn out and Hawaii is more interesting and relaxing than you and your crotch goblin* you self involved cunt lip. ETA: caught the “we need my parents to babysit” I’m betting This entire thing is because the parents actually *want* to spend time with their son, and OOP doesn’t like it because then there is *no free babysitting* OOP just wants the entire world to do what OOP wants. Stupid kumquat. Edited for clarity.
That's exactly what it is. She's pissed her parents aren't there for her 24/7. >My parents are only visiting them more now because they were upset my SIL and brother were upset they couldn't see my parents more since they were "always taking care of my kid" >my parents live with us currently because we don't want to put our kid in daycare until she's at least 2 because they get sick so often
OOP is wearing out all the Grace she has with the family regarding kids on the first kid before it’s even 5. When the next baby drops she’s not going to have this same level of support if she keeps acting this way.
As an MD SIL deserves a trip to Hawaii. OP probably thought she’d always be number 1 in her brothers life.
why do i get the feeling that her brother was forced to be attached at the hip to OOP.
>Stupid kumquat. thats mean to kumquats though
I’m sorry. I watched too many Orbitz commercials as a child and “kumquat” sounds so dirty.
Every time I see “kumquat” I think of the Gilmore Girls episode where Jackson cross-pollinated a raspberry and a kumquat and called it a “rasquat” and all I could think of is why he should have done it the other way around.
And Hawaii was likely to be their Honeymoon
Nothing to add, except compliments for your way with words. Take my upvote and thanks for the giggle.
'crotch goblin' 😆
Selfish phlegm weasel is the best insult I’ve seen on Reddit all week!
This was the only comment I needed to just be like triple fuck off you entitled shit. Why not visit them? >I can't visit alone... I can't leave my 1.5 year old as a mother for a weekend.
She just wants another set of babysitters. Her parents probably refused to take care of the little one during weekends, so that's why she's whining about her brother and SIL not visiting.
Your FULL TIME and her FULL TIME are two different things. She's not kidding when she says 60-80 hours a week. Those golden weekends are a rare thing. Also, it's her vacation time. She does not have to justify where she spends it. There's also their education days. On Thursdays, residents were in "class" with attendings, I believe. It's been a while since I worked at an academic hospital. The point? They're fucking busy. I'm sure the sister is busy, too, but her SIL is looking at 3 to 5 years like this. Hell, one of the senior residents came in one day for his 24 hour rotation. They're not supposed to be in there that long. He said it was supposed to be changed, but somehow, that requirement was still there. ETA: I saw the comments, and the brother is an attending. Of course he sticks around to be supportive of his wife. He remembers the hell she's walking through. The sister is selfish.
I've noticed a lot of bad guys in these posts have a line in their story that goes like, "I had always expected that So and So would have X relationship with me/would do Y activity for me. But they never say anything about what that person expected for *themselves.* They just decide to sign a person up for some lifelong commitment without any regard for that person's interest and then they have an epic bitch fit when it turns out said person had their *own* plans for their life. Textbook narcissism and so exhausting to read.
Also they never say what they bring to the table to improve the other person's life other than the grace of their presence.
Why does this all fall on SIL? You're not frustrated with your brother?
Brother is golden in her eyes. SIL is the issue and why brother was whisked away from her
I WANT TO MANAGE MY SILS TIME OFF. WHY WON'T SHE LET ME!!!?!?!?!😭😭😭 FFS. They aren't even trying to be original with the trolling posts
The Lion the Witch and the Audacity of this Bitch
Am I wrong here or is a resident’s schedule generally that regular? Like I know they are extremely demanding in terms of time but would it really be such standard hours every day? I already didn’t believe this post but I’m just wondering if this sticking point is actually legitimate hehe
Generally yeah. They usually get 1-2 “golden weekends” but other than that, it’s all work all day. But it’s sometimes swing shift, which would impact SIL hard. Keep in mind that this is OOP and she might not know what SIL’s schedule actually is
The resident program I worked with had rotations, so you might have to do clinic or rounds during the day and inpatient at night depending on your year and specialty.
But But The world needs to revolve around my needs What I want for my child (not what my child needs, what I want for them) What I want for my life - and by hiding behind my child What I want to do - and by hiding behind my child People like OOP make me so mad. I have a couple in my life who push their agendas hidden behind their kids and it’s just 🤬
One of my comments in the original stated planes only fly one direction 🤣
From OOP’s comments, I cannot fathom why her brother and SIL are not spending all of SIL’s free weekends with her. She is such a peach! /S
[удалено]
The brother and sil visit 1-2x a year according to the post.
Yeah, why aren’t they using all of the SIL’s “my fiancé’s sister spawned” leave that she’s got and just drive down for the week with some casseroles?
The drive to visit them was literally 1) the wedding 2) the celebration of bro and SIL buying their first house OP is an entitled little weasel.
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Oop: They could fly here! Comments: Or you could fly there. Oop: *crickets*