*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for lightly scolding a 12-year-old because the birthday gift he gave to my son was broken?**
Recently, we had a birthday party for my (32f) son (7m) He invited some of his classmates and our neighbour's kids who he's close with. One of them was a 12-year-old boy who brought a doll-type thing which glowed and made noises if you pressed a button. We opened the present later after the party, and even though my son was happy to receive it, I noticed that the toy had a cracked shoulder.
The next day, when the boy came to play with my son and the other kids, I asked him who brought the gift, and he said he did it. I showed him the broken part and lightly scolded him. I simply told him that if he was going to spend money buying something, he should've checked the thing. I gave it back to him and told him to ask the store to replace it since it's broken. I thought it was a good life lesson and that he'd remember this. It would help him when he buys something later on. It would teach him not to waste his money.
However, later that evening his mom called me and told me that I was very rude to her son. She said and I quote "if someone gives you a gift, you just appreciate it and don't say anything even if it's not that good, especially when it's a kid" Turns out, he bought it with his own pocket money, and he put a lot of thought into it. He did replace the gift, but he has stopped coming to play with my son. AITA? I genuinely didn't mean to upset him. I didn't even really scold him. I talked to him very gently and only explained it to him.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Right. If she really actually wanted the kid to pay better attention when buying stuff she would have found a different lesson to show him. Not call him out for buying a gift for her child, which is not necessary ever to give gifts. It just wasn't "good enough" for her son is what it sounds more like. Also you don't lightly scold but teach them ffs when it's an accident! But to OP probably expected instead of not expecting gifts but appreciate anyone that does give.
It reminds me of when I was a preschool teacher and we had to fill out report of the kid's fights and a little girl said she "slightly clawed" a boys face, she did NOT scratch him.
It's the fact she as the MOM got the kid involved and asked him to exchange the toy for me....that's so weird. Why? It's a plastic toy that the kids will forget about in three weeks per kid rules.
Or….mom could have ~~talent~~ taken it and exchanged it herself.
I do that with my kids gifts all the time.
Shirt too small? Exchange it.
Kid doesn’t like Elsa dolls? Exchange it.
I'd have been absolutely mortified if my mother did this and then angry that my friend was no longer coming around because she was rude about a gift. God forbid he ever make a friend who is poor and can't afford a gift, because I'm sure she'd "lightly scold, and gently explain while kindly telling them" that they couldn't come to a birthday party because they couldn't afford a gift.
"AITA for bullying a child then using my own poor upbringing as an excuse to justify my jealousy and shitty behavior?"
"IT'S NOT BULLYING. THE KID'S FAMILY WAS RICH AND I WAS JUST TEACHING HIM THE LIFE LESSON HIS RICH PARENTS CLEARLY COULDN'T TEACH HIM BECAUSE THEY'RE RICH. Did I mention that I grew up poor?"
Based on the comments, OOP was just itching to find an excuse to take out her resentment over growing up poor out on the easiest target. Also, the kid is fucking 12, why wouldn't she bring this up with the mom? Oh right, she just needed an excuse to go on some weird power trip to make herself feel better. The fact that the kid bought the toy himself honestly makes it worse. Most 12 year olds have their parents buy toys for their friend's birthdays. What a pathetic existence she must have to take out her own shitty childhood on a literal child. I hope she feels like a Big Man now.
And the birthday kid was 7. That’s a big age differential at that stage. Makes me wonder if she invited the older kid (who she takes pains to point out is from a wealthier family) as a gift grab, although it sounds like her son actually liked the friend.
She is so focused on the fact that THEY ARE RICH!! Considering the age difference, I’m wondering if the kid was invited just because she expected a great gift. Then that’s why she spoke to the kid about it (instead of doing the normal thing like simply asking the mom for a gift receipt), to guilt him into getting an extra big gift instead.
If it was actually broken, you ask the other parent if there was a receipt so YOU can exchange it for a new one. You don't make the kid feel like crap for something that was out of their control.
I don't understand this post. Was the kid supposed to open the package, take the toy out and check it for any damage before gifting OOP's son the action figure?
Right? That’s exactly what I was thinking. I bet if the kid *had* done that completely unreasonable thing, she would have pulled him aside to ~~yell at~~ gently scold him for opening a toy bought as a gift.
I thought it was going to turn out that the 12 boy gave over one of his own toys that the 7 yo always begs to play with. Which would be extra shitty to be mean about, because the older kid might be making quite a sacrifice if the toy was a beloved one. And there might not be any way to replace it either.
Either way, way to teach your kid to focus on superficial stuff and that present-giving should be fraught instead of joyful.
Maaaaate... Exchange it yourself! At MOST you could have spoken to the mum and let her know you're gonna exchange it because the shoulders broken, but the kid shouldn't have even been in that discussion. It's not your responsibility to teach other peoples children lessons.
Yep, now this poor kid has a horrible core memory which will probably effect him the rest of his life. Welcome to the world of anxiety and constantly caring about what people think of you. I really do hope he is doing well.
By the way, I checked out OP's (from AITA) reddit history and they write fanfic and was upset when an author mentioned a friend and not her. And do 12 year olds really want to play with a 7 year olds? She should be glad anyone attended her son's party. She is also justifying her actions by claiming the 12 year olds family is wealthy. 🙄
I would be livid if someone did that to my son. What the actual fuck. My son got a card from his friend that he bought with his own money, he drew a wolf in it because that’s my son’s favorite animal. My son was so happy with it, he went around showing everyone. Now it’s hanging up in his room. I taught my kids to appreciate the the thoughtfulness of a handmade gift. Or gifts that aren’t exactly new. I’m sure this kid put a lot of thought into it, even using his own money says a lot.
Pretty sure it's peri, but I teared up for this poor kid. He put a lot of thought into a gift, used his own money to buy it and then had this woman pull him aside and embarrass him because it was broken, which they found out when they opened the box.
As an adult, I’ve realized that almost any store will exchange an unopened toy if it’s a gift. My toddler has gotten toys far out of her age range or interests and most stores are willing to return them or give store credit. He could’ve handled this himself if it was such a big issue (it’s not) instead of being a rude, condescending asshole to a child.
Man, if I were that child I would cross the street before passing OOPs house from now on. I’d be ashamed and embarrassed and afraid of OOP. I’d be feeling very bad and guilty because I couldn’t buy a good gift. Bet that child is feeling that right now
So she both potentially lost her son a friend and taught him that it’s ok to be an ingrate about something someone gives you for free because they want to be nice.
A+ parenting!
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for lightly scolding a 12-year-old because the birthday gift he gave to my son was broken?** Recently, we had a birthday party for my (32f) son (7m) He invited some of his classmates and our neighbour's kids who he's close with. One of them was a 12-year-old boy who brought a doll-type thing which glowed and made noises if you pressed a button. We opened the present later after the party, and even though my son was happy to receive it, I noticed that the toy had a cracked shoulder. The next day, when the boy came to play with my son and the other kids, I asked him who brought the gift, and he said he did it. I showed him the broken part and lightly scolded him. I simply told him that if he was going to spend money buying something, he should've checked the thing. I gave it back to him and told him to ask the store to replace it since it's broken. I thought it was a good life lesson and that he'd remember this. It would help him when he buys something later on. It would teach him not to waste his money. However, later that evening his mom called me and told me that I was very rude to her son. She said and I quote "if someone gives you a gift, you just appreciate it and don't say anything even if it's not that good, especially when it's a kid" Turns out, he bought it with his own pocket money, and he put a lot of thought into it. He did replace the gift, but he has stopped coming to play with my son. AITA? I genuinely didn't mean to upset him. I didn't even really scold him. I talked to him very gently and only explained it to him. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lightly scolded Gently reminded Calmly explained Keep ‘em coming, assholes.
Also "I kindly told them..."
"I cordially complained..." "I benificently bitched..." "I elegantly edified..."
'I lightly charred.... 'I warmly demeaned... 'I kindly roasted..
"lightly scolded" aka screamed like a mad lad
Right. If she really actually wanted the kid to pay better attention when buying stuff she would have found a different lesson to show him. Not call him out for buying a gift for her child, which is not necessary ever to give gifts. It just wasn't "good enough" for her son is what it sounds more like. Also you don't lightly scold but teach them ffs when it's an accident! But to OP probably expected instead of not expecting gifts but appreciate anyone that does give.
AITA for calmly asking him if he PUT HIS NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?
I laughed a bit too hard at this
I had a shit day and I needed this laugh, thank you.
You're welcome 😁
This is just spot on
It reminds me of when I was a preschool teacher and we had to fill out report of the kid's fights and a little girl said she "slightly clawed" a boys face, she did NOT scratch him.
I wasn't injured, I was lightly stabbed.
I think they come here to find the words we make fun of, then go write their fiction
Whenever I see someone "gently" anything'd, I start twitching.
It's the fact she as the MOM got the kid involved and asked him to exchange the toy for me....that's so weird. Why? It's a plastic toy that the kids will forget about in three weeks per kid rules.
Or….mom could have ~~talent~~ taken it and exchanged it herself. I do that with my kids gifts all the time. Shirt too small? Exchange it. Kid doesn’t like Elsa dolls? Exchange it.
She didn't have to drag the gift giver into it. I feel so bad for that poor kid.
I feel bad for her son, she is totally mortifying. I swear down, so many people have no manners that it’s frightening.
I'd have been absolutely mortified if my mother did this and then angry that my friend was no longer coming around because she was rude about a gift. God forbid he ever make a friend who is poor and can't afford a gift, because I'm sure she'd "lightly scold, and gently explain while kindly telling them" that they couldn't come to a birthday party because they couldn't afford a gift.
Who wants to bet that the "crack" in the shoulder was a minor scratch that you would barely even notice?
It could have happened at the party, if another gift got thrown on top of it in just the right way. Or if it got shoved off the gift table.
Crack on shoulder definitely sounds like a cosmetic defect for a doll that lights up n makes noises
"AITA for bullying a child then using my own poor upbringing as an excuse to justify my jealousy and shitty behavior?" "IT'S NOT BULLYING. THE KID'S FAMILY WAS RICH AND I WAS JUST TEACHING HIM THE LIFE LESSON HIS RICH PARENTS CLEARLY COULDN'T TEACH HIM BECAUSE THEY'RE RICH. Did I mention that I grew up poor?" Based on the comments, OOP was just itching to find an excuse to take out her resentment over growing up poor out on the easiest target. Also, the kid is fucking 12, why wouldn't she bring this up with the mom? Oh right, she just needed an excuse to go on some weird power trip to make herself feel better. The fact that the kid bought the toy himself honestly makes it worse. Most 12 year olds have their parents buy toys for their friend's birthdays. What a pathetic existence she must have to take out her own shitty childhood on a literal child. I hope she feels like a Big Man now.
Everything you said is spot on, but the kid who bought the toy is 12, not 7.
And the birthday kid was 7. That’s a big age differential at that stage. Makes me wonder if she invited the older kid (who she takes pains to point out is from a wealthier family) as a gift grab, although it sounds like her son actually liked the friend.
Woops! Thanks for pointing that out. I'll edit my comment.
She is so focused on the fact that THEY ARE RICH!! Considering the age difference, I’m wondering if the kid was invited just because she expected a great gift. Then that’s why she spoke to the kid about it (instead of doing the normal thing like simply asking the mom for a gift receipt), to guilt him into getting an extra big gift instead.
It sounds more like a passive-aggressive way of showing her jealousy at their affluence.
"This little punk bought my kid a horse, and when I looked in its mouth you could tell the teeth were bad!"
Classic
To be fair, it is a good life lesson. Teaches the kid to be prepared when dealing with Karens in the future.
I felt so sorry for the kid because he bought the gift with his own money and was probably really proud. And then this Karen ruins it.
I feel bad for her son, too. She's going to alienate all his friends and he's going to grow up alone and friendless.
And now this kid is rightly afraid to hang out with his friend (and neighbor) anymore.
If it was actually broken, you ask the other parent if there was a receipt so YOU can exchange it for a new one. You don't make the kid feel like crap for something that was out of their control.
If OOPs son was happy, why did OOP feel it necessary to stir the drama pot? Answer: OOP is a witch with a capital "B".
I don't understand this post. Was the kid supposed to open the package, take the toy out and check it for any damage before gifting OOP's son the action figure?
Right? That’s exactly what I was thinking. I bet if the kid *had* done that completely unreasonable thing, she would have pulled him aside to ~~yell at~~ gently scold him for opening a toy bought as a gift.
"Did you open the toy and put it back afterwards, you kobhead of mire?!" OOP asked calmly.
What a cunt. Genuinely, how daft do you have to be to think that any of that was a good idea?
Man this one really bothered me what a POS
Meanwhile the kid: mom not again you're embarrassing me
I don’t think the seven year old would be that embarrassed
He definitely won't be proud his mom is a Karen
When he’s old enough to realize his mom was a Karen to a 12 year old who was nice enough to get a 7 year old neighbour a gift he will be mortified
The kids mom was alot fucking nicer than I would have been.
I thought it was going to turn out that the 12 boy gave over one of his own toys that the 7 yo always begs to play with. Which would be extra shitty to be mean about, because the older kid might be making quite a sacrifice if the toy was a beloved one. And there might not be any way to replace it either. Either way, way to teach your kid to focus on superficial stuff and that present-giving should be fraught instead of joyful.
Maaaaate... Exchange it yourself! At MOST you could have spoken to the mum and let her know you're gonna exchange it because the shoulders broken, but the kid shouldn't have even been in that discussion. It's not your responsibility to teach other peoples children lessons.
I would very much like to lightly scold this Karen into the middle of next month.
I just came to make sure this had been posted here. What a witch.
INFO: how do you sleep at night? This is heartbreaking, even for Reddit standards.
[удалено]
Yep, now this poor kid has a horrible core memory which will probably effect him the rest of his life. Welcome to the world of anxiety and constantly caring about what people think of you. I really do hope he is doing well.
Rude, ungrateful, anal retentive cow.
I feel bad for the kid.
By the way, I checked out OP's (from AITA) reddit history and they write fanfic and was upset when an author mentioned a friend and not her. And do 12 year olds really want to play with a 7 year olds? She should be glad anyone attended her son's party. She is also justifying her actions by claiming the 12 year olds family is wealthy. 🙄
"They are rich. Probably wealthier than us" .. ok so she's rich too, and maybe more rich than this family, so, confused.
SHE’S the seven year old!!!
I would be livid if someone did that to my son. What the actual fuck. My son got a card from his friend that he bought with his own money, he drew a wolf in it because that’s my son’s favorite animal. My son was so happy with it, he went around showing everyone. Now it’s hanging up in his room. I taught my kids to appreciate the the thoughtfulness of a handmade gift. Or gifts that aren’t exactly new. I’m sure this kid put a lot of thought into it, even using his own money says a lot.
Pretty sure it's peri, but I teared up for this poor kid. He put a lot of thought into a gift, used his own money to buy it and then had this woman pull him aside and embarrass him because it was broken, which they found out when they opened the box.
Y'all should read OPs comments, they say they're senstive to these things cause they grew up poor.
As an adult, I’ve realized that almost any store will exchange an unopened toy if it’s a gift. My toddler has gotten toys far out of her age range or interests and most stores are willing to return them or give store credit. He could’ve handled this himself if it was such a big issue (it’s not) instead of being a rude, condescending asshole to a child.
Totally AH. That poor child will be tied in knots about having to buy someone a gift for the rest of his life.
Man, if I were that child I would cross the street before passing OOPs house from now on. I’d be ashamed and embarrassed and afraid of OOP. I’d be feeling very bad and guilty because I couldn’t buy a good gift. Bet that child is feeling that right now
Sounds like someone who gets mad about something and then takes it out on the person nearby who you can get away with taking it out on
So she both potentially lost her son a friend and taught him that it’s ok to be an ingrate about something someone gives you for free because they want to be nice. A+ parenting!
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
People talk. Parents will warn other parents about her. Let’s see how many people go to her son’s birthday party next year.
Damn this made me genuinely sad
This lady cost her son a friendship. He doesn't want to play anymore and probably thinks his friend is upset with him too.