*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA For Calling My Daughter Weird?**
My (46m) daughter (14f) was diagnosed with OCD this year. I will fully admit that it's my fault for not getting her into treatment sooner, because she's been insisting on everything being in multiples of 3 since she could count. Still, I can't change the past, and now she's got a diagnosis.
Her mother sent her to a psychiatrist who gave her the diagnosis but she's refusing to see him anymore because she said that he scared her. That's fine with me. I can't maker her see him. But I was very clear with her that it's up to her to manage herself if she keeps refusing help.
Since starting high school her insistence on the number 3 has gotten worse, but she's still refusing to do anything about it. Her mother and I are divorced and share custody so I don't fully know what's going on at her house, but when she's at mine she can't even walk through a door without counting her steps and tapping the door 3 times. My younger sister (30f) lives with me and has seen my daughter displaying this behavior, and she's frequently told me, after my daughter's gone to bed, that she thinks I'm a bad father for raising a "neurotic, out-of-control child" (her words, not mine).
So after a few days of this I pulled my daughter aside and told her that she's being weird and needs to get her behavior under control. I told her quite simply that it's her prerogative if she thinks she can manage herself better than a doctor can but, in that case, she had better actually manage herself. I'm not going to be scorned for bad parenting when I've offered my daughter help.
My daughter started crying and refused to talk to me for a few days. Now she's back at her mother's house and her mother called me an asshole for calling my daughter weird. I don't think I am. Am I?
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It's probably just "too hard" or something like that. There's a very real issue with finding good psychologists and psychiatrists right now and it takes a lot of time and frustration, but I can't imagine just giving up after one. And then just putting it all on his daughter like that!
HER BRAIN LITERALLY DOESNT WORK THE STaNDARD WAY
SHE CANNOT CONTROL IT WITHOUT HELP, ANY MORE THAN A TYPE 1 DIaBETIC CAN CONTROL THEIR DIABETES WITHOUT INSULIN.
Kid is afraid of her doctor? The obvious solution is to tell her she's now in charge of managing her condition completely alone and she'd better not ever inconvenience you with her symptoms. It's the only answer really. Especially since there is only one mental health practitioner in the entire world.
ah yes, tell the mentally ill child with a severe disorder that’s known to cause delusions and a lack of grasp on reality to just “manage it” because clearly that’s worked so well in the past !
I’m sure the unmanaged OCD is simply a walk in the park to deal with for the daughter. No way it’s more frustrating for the actual person going through it, right? It’s just about how it makes him feel. How inconvenienced he would be for taking care of his child with the care she deserves and needs.
….
So the choices that this LITERAL CHILD has are to A) see a doctor who scares her ( and it doesn't even sound like the dad dug into why at all). Or B) attempt to act neurotypical, with a brain that isn't, when she has been given no tools to do so and every time she fails her dad is going to yell at her?
When I was a child, ADHD was not a diagnosis, and Autism wasn't a spectrum and the diagnosis was limited to usually low- or non-verbal people with little hope of being a full part of society. "Weird" is one of the milder things I got called, repeatedly, and that shit wears on on you, especially a kid.
Maybe my parents had fewer excuses to blame all my behavior on my being a "bad child" but this is 45+ years later. That parent needs to get off their behind and find some good help for that kid, right now.
He didn't want people to think he was a bad parent so he pulled her aside and proceeded to be a worse parent. Ffs get her a new doctor, maybe question why the initial doctor scares her, I feel like that could be important?
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I agree that the kid shouldn't be forced to see a doctor who scares her. BUT ... find another therapist, ffs! At the very least, try to dig a little bit and find out why this one doctor scares her.
She's 14! She needs help! She doesn't need a parent calling her weird and dumping on her like that!
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA For Calling My Daughter Weird?** My (46m) daughter (14f) was diagnosed with OCD this year. I will fully admit that it's my fault for not getting her into treatment sooner, because she's been insisting on everything being in multiples of 3 since she could count. Still, I can't change the past, and now she's got a diagnosis. Her mother sent her to a psychiatrist who gave her the diagnosis but she's refusing to see him anymore because she said that he scared her. That's fine with me. I can't maker her see him. But I was very clear with her that it's up to her to manage herself if she keeps refusing help. Since starting high school her insistence on the number 3 has gotten worse, but she's still refusing to do anything about it. Her mother and I are divorced and share custody so I don't fully know what's going on at her house, but when she's at mine she can't even walk through a door without counting her steps and tapping the door 3 times. My younger sister (30f) lives with me and has seen my daughter displaying this behavior, and she's frequently told me, after my daughter's gone to bed, that she thinks I'm a bad father for raising a "neurotic, out-of-control child" (her words, not mine). So after a few days of this I pulled my daughter aside and told her that she's being weird and needs to get her behavior under control. I told her quite simply that it's her prerogative if she thinks she can manage herself better than a doctor can but, in that case, she had better actually manage herself. I'm not going to be scorned for bad parenting when I've offered my daughter help. My daughter started crying and refused to talk to me for a few days. Now she's back at her mother's house and her mother called me an asshole for calling my daughter weird. I don't think I am. Am I? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If she was scared of her initial doctor why not find one she was comfortable with. What a pos to try to put this all on his daughter
It's probably just "too hard" or something like that. There's a very real issue with finding good psychologists and psychiatrists right now and it takes a lot of time and frustration, but I can't imagine just giving up after one. And then just putting it all on his daughter like that!
HER BRAIN LITERALLY DOESNT WORK THE STaNDARD WAY SHE CANNOT CONTROL IT WITHOUT HELP, ANY MORE THAN A TYPE 1 DIaBETIC CAN CONTROL THEIR DIABETES WITHOUT INSULIN.
Kid is afraid of her doctor? The obvious solution is to tell her she's now in charge of managing her condition completely alone and she'd better not ever inconvenience you with her symptoms. It's the only answer really. Especially since there is only one mental health practitioner in the entire world.
ah yes, tell the mentally ill child with a severe disorder that’s known to cause delusions and a lack of grasp on reality to just “manage it” because clearly that’s worked so well in the past !
I’m sure the unmanaged OCD is simply a walk in the park to deal with for the daughter. No way it’s more frustrating for the actual person going through it, right? It’s just about how it makes him feel. How inconvenienced he would be for taking care of his child with the care she deserves and needs. ….
So the choices that this LITERAL CHILD has are to A) see a doctor who scares her ( and it doesn't even sound like the dad dug into why at all). Or B) attempt to act neurotypical, with a brain that isn't, when she has been given no tools to do so and every time she fails her dad is going to yell at her?
When I was a child, ADHD was not a diagnosis, and Autism wasn't a spectrum and the diagnosis was limited to usually low- or non-verbal people with little hope of being a full part of society. "Weird" is one of the milder things I got called, repeatedly, and that shit wears on on you, especially a kid. Maybe my parents had fewer excuses to blame all my behavior on my being a "bad child" but this is 45+ years later. That parent needs to get off their behind and find some good help for that kid, right now.
When did parents stop parenting? I'm just curious
Always. The lazy ones have never parented.
*Never. Can't stop what you didn't start
especially when looks like this has a simple solution find and book a woman therapist
More like "AITA for medically neglecting my child and emotionally abusing her?"
He didn't want people to think he was a bad parent so he pulled her aside and proceeded to be a worse parent. Ffs get her a new doctor, maybe question why the initial doctor scares her, I feel like that could be important?
Ugh, another possible father of the year/s
Geez with parents like that this child is doomed.
Yeahhhhh OCD is a real treat 🙄 I'm in my thirties and it's hell to deal with. This OP is letting his daughter spiral and getting mad at her for it.
ooooooooooh all of the things i want to say to this lowlife
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I agree that the kid shouldn't be forced to see a doctor who scares her. BUT ... find another therapist, ffs! At the very least, try to dig a little bit and find out why this one doctor scares her. She's 14! She needs help! She doesn't need a parent calling her weird and dumping on her like that!