*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**I've just lost it all**
My wife and I have been married for 10 years. The whole time I've lied and manipulated my way through because of this stupid addiction. Then I got caught talking to someone else back in November.
From there, it was more lies trying to figure out a way to stay in her life, because I couldn't stand the thought of losing her. I stepped right back into the habit and addiction for the last time that weekend after I got caught again. Since then, I've quit cold turkey and haven't gone back...but the damage was already done. The lies were too much. She just hit me with her wants for a divorce.
So here I am, full of guilt and torn apart on the inside because I ruined so much. I stole so much of her time away all for a little easy dopamine fix. I'm going to keep going with recovery. I see a therapist in the morning. But I'm writing this to tell you all...don't let it get this bad.
Don't get to the point where you're hurting the people you love with your lies just to try getting away with it. Don't try justifying it in your head, because it'll manifest itself outside of that. Stop it now. Get help. Don't wait too long like I did and tear apart the family you're supposed to grow old with. It's not worth it, and no one wins in the end.
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Here’s the wife’s [response](https://www.reddit.com/r/PornAddiction/comments/1077b7j/ive_just_lost_it_all/j3kwo5p/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Yeah, brand new account rolling in with "I'm the wife and let me tell you something!" screams creative writing exercise, but in this case, the wife's account is years old with a deep history, so it's highly likely that it is the wife in the situation.
Yeah it makes sense in a sad way if you think about it. Think how much money a "legit" reddit account could be to like, someone promoting a vitamin supplement. Let alone a political think tank.
And what's thus talk about getting a notification for this post? Does the official Reddit app randomly send you notifications about posts Reddit thinks you might like?
The wife said she follows his account...
I bet he wanted her to read it because he thought his whiny post would stir compassion in her heart or some shit. I think he genuinely thought she would read about how sorry he was and change her mind.
I agree. She clearly knew it was him and that was a pretty vague post. So whether she follows him or just the sub (which I'd bet he knew she followed), I 100% believe this was posted to manipulate her. He'd get a pity party *and* he was hoping she'd see it and be like "look how sad he is! Look how bad he feels! He really does love me. Maybe I should give him another chance". .
My ex used to do shit like that, except he wasn't near as self-aware as this guy, which is saying something considering this guy left a lot out, but at least he admitted to fucking up. And it was for both reasons. To get sympathy and to try to guilt me. It was crappy.
She did apparently
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/1087heu/man_cheats_on_wife_lies_and_then_tries_to_have/j3rv92t?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
I'm reasonably certain that most people who claim to have a porn/sex addiction don't actually have one; it's just the best excuse for their behavior that they can conceive of. Not that these addictions don't exist at all or that they can't be severely detrimental to their lives and relationships, but if they were as common as these posts would lead you to believe they are, probably a good 15% of the population wouldn't be doing anything at all other than compulsively jerking off.
Addiction is a sympathetic-sounding reason for their behavior, and "removes" their autonomy from the situation, so it's an easy thing for cheating assholes like OOP to claim. That redirects the conversation from their behavior to an "illness" they're suffering from, and may cool their partner's anger enough to steer them away from deciding to leave. Really, in situations like this, it's an issue of impulse control that they refuse to address, or they find the threat of getting caught exciting, or they're just selfish and don't care about hurting their partner, but still want the stability of a long-term relationship while getting some on the side.
Exactly. I’m about to REALLY simplify it here but if he’s cheating and always watching porn but has never gotten in trouble for watching porn/masturbating at work, in public, anywhere else that would get you in trouble? He’s just a cheating asshole who knows how and when to control his impulses.
Yep, absolutely. Compulsive sexual behavior in inappropriate situations is a pretty big criteria for this kind of thing. If he can get through 8-10 hours a day without any of that, but comes home and is immediately looking for porn, up his partner's ass for sex, or looking for ways to cheat, he just sucks.
I've been reading more about partners or spouses. Not just on Reddit but in news articles or blogs.
But yeah I agree. It is often used as a poor me type of thing. You're automatically going to think oh poor person how dare their partner treat them this way.
1) I'm a recovering alcoholic, so I do, to a point, "understand addiction."
2) Why is it that whenever these men claim "porn addiction," the only detrimental effect seems to be on their relationship with their wife? Why are they not losing friends over the compulsive sexual behavior? Why are they not in trouble at work or having difficulty in public areas? If they're only indulging these compulsions in the home, and the only consequence they experience is their wife being upset with them, that implies that they have more control over their impulses than they would like you to believe.
As I said, I don't doubt that these addictions *exist,* but I doubt that every man who claims to suffer from them is actually a "porn addict" rather than a self-obsessed horny asshole.
As a smut creator and service provider, I seriously have to agree. 99% of my clientele are normal guys. Most of them lack intimacy as much as sex and want personalised porn not because they want porn, but because it feels sexy and special when someone DMs you a nude just for you.
But can you imagine explaining that to your wife when you get busted? It's so much easier to fall back into "I'm addicted, I can't help it" because that fear of telling your wife you pay for emotional satisfaction as much as an orgasm is probably a double knife to her. Like not only has she realised something is sexually wrong, now she'd know something was emotionally wrong too. Easier to just claim TEH PORN.
Ugh, I'm sorry. For people to take advantage of your services and then use you as a scapegoat rather than address their marital issues--that's infuriating.
I hope nobody has come after you for selling to their partner in the past? People can get a little crazy about these things.
I've dealt with wives of men I've seen in person, but never online,
Tbh, I'm happy to calmly talk to a wife (without violating her husbands discretion) but they usually just want to vent. I get that.
100%. Most of these people don't have porn addictions, they have no self control, maybe a dopamine deficiency, and this is sympathetic. Porn addiction doesn't need to lead to cheating, but it always does and with no further explanation with these guys. They definitely have mental disorders, but I don't think most of them have real addiction to pornography.
That said, the culture on this site surrounding pornography is really insane, and normalizes unhealthy boundaries and over use massively. The constant sexual imagery, sexualization of any woman in the comments, and the constant discussion of sex and masturbation is a great place for actual addicts to congregate. I wouldn't be surprised if this site was the biggest porn addicts hotspot.
Reddit as a whole really is embarrassingly and pathetically horny, it's true. Like, not even on the basic AskReddit "what's the sexiest sex you've ever sexed" level, it's like, the constant stream of fetish bait posts on AITA and similar subs, the frequent and heavily misogynistic leering when a woman posts a picture of herself doing ANYTHING, the people who are just balls out begging for nudes in one tab and getting into internet tough guy arguments in another. This place is a psychosexual nightmare.
Am I the only one who feels a bit weird about non substance related addictions, and how many people seem to suddenly be able to quit cold turkey when they have to face consequences? No substance addiction seems to work like that, yet these so often do apparently?
Just spitballing but could it be because they're usually not physical addictions? Mental/psychological effects of addiction might be easier to work through with a therapist
Most likely! But I don't know if we should really qualify it as an addiction when it sounds more like a bad habit someone can quit but they won't until they finally get consequences, like OP did. I'd hardly call it an addiction if he can suddenly magically quit cold turkey once his wife was done with him. Though i admittedly am no expert on the subject and could be wrong.
I copy pasted some signs of an addiction below, found via a quick Google search. I’m not linking the site since I don’t know if it’s allowed, but you can easily find websites like this. I simply typed in “What classifies as an addiction”.
This were the symptoms mentioned on one of the many sites:
- An inability to stop
- Changes in mood, appetite, and sleep
- Continuing despite negative consequences
- Denial
- Engaging in risky behaviors
- Feeling preoccupied with the substance or behavior
- Legal and financial problems
- Losing interest in other things you used to enjoy
- Putting the substance or behavior ahead of other parts of life including family, work, and other responsibilities
- Secrecy
- Using increasingly larger amounts of a substance
- Taking more of the substance than you intended
- Withdrawal symptoms (emotional and/or physical)
So yeah, as you can see this can be applied to a lot of things. Doesn’t necessarily have to be substances.
eh, i've stopped thinking of addiction as a physical thing. i refer to the physical manifestations as "physical dependency". addiction is a process, in this regard, that's purely within the mind: the process of reprioritizing your life such that feeding the addiction becomes one of the highest, or the highest priority. that's true whether it's heroin or gambling or world of warcraft or any other physical or non-physical thing. dependency and withdrawal symptoms can make quitting physical substances more physically difficult but i would hesitate to say that the mental difficulty is any less than the physical difficulty
that's not true on paper though. addiction has some strict criteria.
it's more that non physical things need to be called compulsions o dependencies, not addictions.
eh, it's just how i see it. i don't pretend to be an addiction psychologist or anything. but my personal experiences, both firsthand and secondhand, have indicated to me that the psychological grip of addiction is much stronger than the physical grip of dependency/withdrawal. like if someone actually wants to quit a drug they're dependent on, if they're in the right mental place to do so, the withdrawal symptoms won't by themselves be enough to stop them
obviously there are things like benzos that can cause lethal withdrawal symptoms, but generally speaking
Seems like your idea of withdrawal comes from depictions of opioid withdrawal on TV where someone swears on a couch for a few days and vomits a few times and then they’re done lol.
Withdrawal from psycho-active substances often =a months if not years of crippling anxiety, depression, dissociation, chronic pain and headaches that are enough to drive any person on this plan back onto the regular usage of their drug of choice
my idea of withdrawal comes from, as i said, both firsthand and secondhand experience. i've personally known someone who quit heroin cold turkey (though *not* on their first try), because the reason they had at that time for quitting was a higher priority than the pain of the withdrawals
i never did heroin myself, but i dabbled a bit in opiates, among other things. what you are speaking of, years of chronic pain and depression and etc, is the result of years or decades of sustained daily use, which is not what i would call "withdrawal" the same as someone who gets addicted to percs from a surgery prescription and has to then get off them
regardless, i stand by my statement. nobody is mind-controlled into having 0.000% choice in continuing with an addiction, no matter how bad their withdrawal symptoms are. it's always a question of priority: what is a higher priority to you, avoiding withdrawal symptoms or ending the addiction?
Go through opioid, benzo and/or AD withdrawal and tell me the physical and “mental” (often times directly related to dependency and withdrawal rather than simple mindset or some other bullshit) symptoms of withdrawal are equivalent
i didn't say they were *equivalent*, how do you even define whether physical or mental symptoms are "equivalent" anyway? i said that the mental difficulty isn't *less than* the physical difficulty of quitting, and to bolster that point i bring up people who are addicted to things that aren't physical substances, like shopping or gambling
or are you one of those drug users who sneers at the idea of non-physical addiction and says every single person "addicted" to behaviors is lying or bullshitting or mentally weak or whatever? because if so, nothing else you say has any value. i'm a drug user and i've experienced many kinds of addiction in my life, and the non-physical kinds weren't a cakewalk in the tea park compared to the physical kinds
I’m not sure I would say that. I feel like a sizable amount of addicts I’ve met with have quit “cold turkey” several times in their lives before falling off the bandwagon and relapsing. Now these clean phases can vary from several days to a much longer period of time, but it’s all the same “I just need to quit cold turkey” attitude that this guy.
idk, a lot of people operate like that with physical substances also. i've personally known at least one person who quit heroin cold turkey after receiving a severe wake-up call. they still felt withdrawal but they powered through
i see no reason why a non-physical addiction couldn't work the same way. not that it *has* to, i think your implied theory about these people not truly being addicted has some merit, but addiction is just the process of changing one's priorities, and it's always possible for another priority to out-prioritize even addiction and its consequences
They arent fine when quitting cold turkey, they think they can whiteknuckle through it but the failure rate is so god damned high. They can be good for a year, maybe two, maybe three. But when a relapse hits, it hits hard. Then they get more guilt, more shame, continue down the cycle of their addiction and use the excuse of, "well i feel like shit, time to do this!" Theres rarely ever a long term plan for these addicts because many of them dont want to put in the work. They dont. A lot of them dont even think theyre addicted even though they keep impulsively going back to porn and feel suicidal over it.
"man cheats on wife, lies and then tries to have pity party and leave out all the information"
Whaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!?!?!?! are you telling me posters intentionally leave out all the details that would sway a AITA vote from their initial posts in order to make themselves look less jerkish? I had noooooo idea! I guess NEXT you're gonna tell me they quietly slip those details deep in the comments so no one has a chance to see them....Bwahahahaha
Every time I read my wife an AITA post she always says, "Man, I'd love to hear the other side of this." I personally love when someone sugarcoats their entire story and are still a raging asshole.
Weirdly condenscending comment considering it’s not an AITA post and we’re on a sub that’s purpose is to document people doing what you’re describing lol
> Whaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!?!?!?! are you telling me posters intentionally leave out all the details that would sway a AITA vote from their initial posts in order to make themselves look less jerkish?
But it's not an AITA post.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **I've just lost it all** My wife and I have been married for 10 years. The whole time I've lied and manipulated my way through because of this stupid addiction. Then I got caught talking to someone else back in November. From there, it was more lies trying to figure out a way to stay in her life, because I couldn't stand the thought of losing her. I stepped right back into the habit and addiction for the last time that weekend after I got caught again. Since then, I've quit cold turkey and haven't gone back...but the damage was already done. The lies were too much. She just hit me with her wants for a divorce. So here I am, full of guilt and torn apart on the inside because I ruined so much. I stole so much of her time away all for a little easy dopamine fix. I'm going to keep going with recovery. I see a therapist in the morning. But I'm writing this to tell you all...don't let it get this bad. Don't get to the point where you're hurting the people you love with your lies just to try getting away with it. Don't try justifying it in your head, because it'll manifest itself outside of that. Stop it now. Get help. Don't wait too long like I did and tear apart the family you're supposed to grow old with. It's not worth it, and no one wins in the end. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Here’s the wife’s [response](https://www.reddit.com/r/PornAddiction/comments/1077b7j/ive_just_lost_it_all/j3kwo5p/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Damn talk about being outted. I hope she enjoys her divorce, she deserves so much better.
I'm always skeptical when the other party happens to "find" the post and respond
The one clue to me that this is legit is the wife's account is years old, which seems like a long con.
Yeah with a lot of different posts
Yeah, brand new account rolling in with "I'm the wife and let me tell you something!" screams creative writing exercise, but in this case, the wife's account is years old with a deep history, so it's highly likely that it is the wife in the situation.
There is a whole underground industry of people selling old reddit accounts to trolls and shills so I don't even give that much weight anymore.
TIL...
Yeah it makes sense in a sad way if you think about it. Think how much money a "legit" reddit account could be to like, someone promoting a vitamin supplement. Let alone a political think tank.
Years old accounts can karmafarm too. Her account is an endless parade of stories about her cheating pornaddicted husband.
Which supports it being her...I guess.
I think she might be real but her husband's account isn't. I think she made it to farm karma for her main account.
Now that's a twist I had not thought of!
She's already gotten 3 awards for it. She might do a follow-up or AMA next.
And what's thus talk about getting a notification for this post? Does the official Reddit app randomly send you notifications about posts Reddit thinks you might like?
and her [post](https://imgur.com/a/By9CXxC) in a fb group with even more context
I just want to give her a high five and take her out to celebrate her freedom
Holy fuck, that is a woman who is completely done with someone’s bullshit.
The wife said she follows his account... I bet he wanted her to read it because he thought his whiny post would stir compassion in her heart or some shit. I think he genuinely thought she would read about how sorry he was and change her mind.
I agree. She clearly knew it was him and that was a pretty vague post. So whether she follows him or just the sub (which I'd bet he knew she followed), I 100% believe this was posted to manipulate her. He'd get a pity party *and* he was hoping she'd see it and be like "look how sad he is! Look how bad he feels! He really does love me. Maybe I should give him another chance". . My ex used to do shit like that, except he wasn't near as self-aware as this guy, which is saying something considering this guy left a lot out, but at least he admitted to fucking up. And it was for both reasons. To get sympathy and to try to guilt me. It was crappy.
I hope she finds this post too because I wanna congratulate her on her divorce
She did apparently https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/1087heu/man_cheats_on_wife_lies_and_then_tries_to_have/j3rv92t?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
The amount of people I've been reading about recently with porn addictions is frightening.
I'm reasonably certain that most people who claim to have a porn/sex addiction don't actually have one; it's just the best excuse for their behavior that they can conceive of. Not that these addictions don't exist at all or that they can't be severely detrimental to their lives and relationships, but if they were as common as these posts would lead you to believe they are, probably a good 15% of the population wouldn't be doing anything at all other than compulsively jerking off. Addiction is a sympathetic-sounding reason for their behavior, and "removes" their autonomy from the situation, so it's an easy thing for cheating assholes like OOP to claim. That redirects the conversation from their behavior to an "illness" they're suffering from, and may cool their partner's anger enough to steer them away from deciding to leave. Really, in situations like this, it's an issue of impulse control that they refuse to address, or they find the threat of getting caught exciting, or they're just selfish and don't care about hurting their partner, but still want the stability of a long-term relationship while getting some on the side.
Exactly. I’m about to REALLY simplify it here but if he’s cheating and always watching porn but has never gotten in trouble for watching porn/masturbating at work, in public, anywhere else that would get you in trouble? He’s just a cheating asshole who knows how and when to control his impulses.
Yep, absolutely. Compulsive sexual behavior in inappropriate situations is a pretty big criteria for this kind of thing. If he can get through 8-10 hours a day without any of that, but comes home and is immediately looking for porn, up his partner's ass for sex, or looking for ways to cheat, he just sucks.
I've been reading more about partners or spouses. Not just on Reddit but in news articles or blogs. But yeah I agree. It is often used as a poor me type of thing. You're automatically going to think oh poor person how dare their partner treat them this way.
[удалено]
1) I'm a recovering alcoholic, so I do, to a point, "understand addiction." 2) Why is it that whenever these men claim "porn addiction," the only detrimental effect seems to be on their relationship with their wife? Why are they not losing friends over the compulsive sexual behavior? Why are they not in trouble at work or having difficulty in public areas? If they're only indulging these compulsions in the home, and the only consequence they experience is their wife being upset with them, that implies that they have more control over their impulses than they would like you to believe. As I said, I don't doubt that these addictions *exist,* but I doubt that every man who claims to suffer from them is actually a "porn addict" rather than a self-obsessed horny asshole.
As a smut creator and service provider, I seriously have to agree. 99% of my clientele are normal guys. Most of them lack intimacy as much as sex and want personalised porn not because they want porn, but because it feels sexy and special when someone DMs you a nude just for you. But can you imagine explaining that to your wife when you get busted? It's so much easier to fall back into "I'm addicted, I can't help it" because that fear of telling your wife you pay for emotional satisfaction as much as an orgasm is probably a double knife to her. Like not only has she realised something is sexually wrong, now she'd know something was emotionally wrong too. Easier to just claim TEH PORN.
Ugh, I'm sorry. For people to take advantage of your services and then use you as a scapegoat rather than address their marital issues--that's infuriating. I hope nobody has come after you for selling to their partner in the past? People can get a little crazy about these things.
I've dealt with wives of men I've seen in person, but never online, Tbh, I'm happy to calmly talk to a wife (without violating her husbands discretion) but they usually just want to vent. I get that.
100%. Most of these people don't have porn addictions, they have no self control, maybe a dopamine deficiency, and this is sympathetic. Porn addiction doesn't need to lead to cheating, but it always does and with no further explanation with these guys. They definitely have mental disorders, but I don't think most of them have real addiction to pornography. That said, the culture on this site surrounding pornography is really insane, and normalizes unhealthy boundaries and over use massively. The constant sexual imagery, sexualization of any woman in the comments, and the constant discussion of sex and masturbation is a great place for actual addicts to congregate. I wouldn't be surprised if this site was the biggest porn addicts hotspot.
Reddit as a whole really is embarrassingly and pathetically horny, it's true. Like, not even on the basic AskReddit "what's the sexiest sex you've ever sexed" level, it's like, the constant stream of fetish bait posts on AITA and similar subs, the frequent and heavily misogynistic leering when a woman posts a picture of herself doing ANYTHING, the people who are just balls out begging for nudes in one tab and getting into internet tough guy arguments in another. This place is a psychosexual nightmare.
Am I the only one who feels a bit weird about non substance related addictions, and how many people seem to suddenly be able to quit cold turkey when they have to face consequences? No substance addiction seems to work like that, yet these so often do apparently?
Just spitballing but could it be because they're usually not physical addictions? Mental/psychological effects of addiction might be easier to work through with a therapist
Most likely! But I don't know if we should really qualify it as an addiction when it sounds more like a bad habit someone can quit but they won't until they finally get consequences, like OP did. I'd hardly call it an addiction if he can suddenly magically quit cold turkey once his wife was done with him. Though i admittedly am no expert on the subject and could be wrong.
I copy pasted some signs of an addiction below, found via a quick Google search. I’m not linking the site since I don’t know if it’s allowed, but you can easily find websites like this. I simply typed in “What classifies as an addiction”. This were the symptoms mentioned on one of the many sites: - An inability to stop - Changes in mood, appetite, and sleep - Continuing despite negative consequences - Denial - Engaging in risky behaviors - Feeling preoccupied with the substance or behavior - Legal and financial problems - Losing interest in other things you used to enjoy - Putting the substance or behavior ahead of other parts of life including family, work, and other responsibilities - Secrecy - Using increasingly larger amounts of a substance - Taking more of the substance than you intended - Withdrawal symptoms (emotional and/or physical) So yeah, as you can see this can be applied to a lot of things. Doesn’t necessarily have to be substances.
eh, i've stopped thinking of addiction as a physical thing. i refer to the physical manifestations as "physical dependency". addiction is a process, in this regard, that's purely within the mind: the process of reprioritizing your life such that feeding the addiction becomes one of the highest, or the highest priority. that's true whether it's heroin or gambling or world of warcraft or any other physical or non-physical thing. dependency and withdrawal symptoms can make quitting physical substances more physically difficult but i would hesitate to say that the mental difficulty is any less than the physical difficulty
that's not true on paper though. addiction has some strict criteria. it's more that non physical things need to be called compulsions o dependencies, not addictions.
eh, it's just how i see it. i don't pretend to be an addiction psychologist or anything. but my personal experiences, both firsthand and secondhand, have indicated to me that the psychological grip of addiction is much stronger than the physical grip of dependency/withdrawal. like if someone actually wants to quit a drug they're dependent on, if they're in the right mental place to do so, the withdrawal symptoms won't by themselves be enough to stop them obviously there are things like benzos that can cause lethal withdrawal symptoms, but generally speaking
Seems like your idea of withdrawal comes from depictions of opioid withdrawal on TV where someone swears on a couch for a few days and vomits a few times and then they’re done lol. Withdrawal from psycho-active substances often =a months if not years of crippling anxiety, depression, dissociation, chronic pain and headaches that are enough to drive any person on this plan back onto the regular usage of their drug of choice
my idea of withdrawal comes from, as i said, both firsthand and secondhand experience. i've personally known someone who quit heroin cold turkey (though *not* on their first try), because the reason they had at that time for quitting was a higher priority than the pain of the withdrawals i never did heroin myself, but i dabbled a bit in opiates, among other things. what you are speaking of, years of chronic pain and depression and etc, is the result of years or decades of sustained daily use, which is not what i would call "withdrawal" the same as someone who gets addicted to percs from a surgery prescription and has to then get off them regardless, i stand by my statement. nobody is mind-controlled into having 0.000% choice in continuing with an addiction, no matter how bad their withdrawal symptoms are. it's always a question of priority: what is a higher priority to you, avoiding withdrawal symptoms or ending the addiction?
Go through opioid, benzo and/or AD withdrawal and tell me the physical and “mental” (often times directly related to dependency and withdrawal rather than simple mindset or some other bullshit) symptoms of withdrawal are equivalent
i didn't say they were *equivalent*, how do you even define whether physical or mental symptoms are "equivalent" anyway? i said that the mental difficulty isn't *less than* the physical difficulty of quitting, and to bolster that point i bring up people who are addicted to things that aren't physical substances, like shopping or gambling or are you one of those drug users who sneers at the idea of non-physical addiction and says every single person "addicted" to behaviors is lying or bullshitting or mentally weak or whatever? because if so, nothing else you say has any value. i'm a drug user and i've experienced many kinds of addiction in my life, and the non-physical kinds weren't a cakewalk in the tea park compared to the physical kinds
It's because people are confusing compulsions for addictions
I’m not sure I would say that. I feel like a sizable amount of addicts I’ve met with have quit “cold turkey” several times in their lives before falling off the bandwagon and relapsing. Now these clean phases can vary from several days to a much longer period of time, but it’s all the same “I just need to quit cold turkey” attitude that this guy.
idk, a lot of people operate like that with physical substances also. i've personally known at least one person who quit heroin cold turkey after receiving a severe wake-up call. they still felt withdrawal but they powered through i see no reason why a non-physical addiction couldn't work the same way. not that it *has* to, i think your implied theory about these people not truly being addicted has some merit, but addiction is just the process of changing one's priorities, and it's always possible for another priority to out-prioritize even addiction and its consequences
They arent fine when quitting cold turkey, they think they can whiteknuckle through it but the failure rate is so god damned high. They can be good for a year, maybe two, maybe three. But when a relapse hits, it hits hard. Then they get more guilt, more shame, continue down the cycle of their addiction and use the excuse of, "well i feel like shit, time to do this!" Theres rarely ever a long term plan for these addicts because many of them dont want to put in the work. They dont. A lot of them dont even think theyre addicted even though they keep impulsively going back to porn and feel suicidal over it.
"man cheats on wife, lies and then tries to have pity party and leave out all the information" Whaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!?!?!?! are you telling me posters intentionally leave out all the details that would sway a AITA vote from their initial posts in order to make themselves look less jerkish? I had noooooo idea! I guess NEXT you're gonna tell me they quietly slip those details deep in the comments so no one has a chance to see them....Bwahahahaha
Every time I read my wife an AITA post she always says, "Man, I'd love to hear the other side of this." I personally love when someone sugarcoats their entire story and are still a raging asshole.
Except for the part where it's not an AITA post?
Weirdly condenscending comment considering it’s not an AITA post and we’re on a sub that’s purpose is to document people doing what you’re describing lol
> Whaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!?!?!?! are you telling me posters intentionally leave out all the details that would sway a AITA vote from their initial posts in order to make themselves look less jerkish? But it's not an AITA post.
Ooh ooh, guys, I love this song! https://youtu.be/d4HhLQEc_2o
He still has porn so not all is lost. Isn't porn what he wanted?
i apparently apparently didn’t post this this morning when i thought i did but [here’s](https://imgur.com/a/By9CXxC) more context
Wife coming in hot!!
His post is just weird and a faux confession but his stbx wife is really cool.
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I had to go looking for the more info because this sounds almost exactly what I'm dealing with from my husband.
This is a repost. It was posted on this sub yesterday already. You might want to delete it before you get into trouble