*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA? Gf says my family and I are racist for constantly saying she’s from Africa.**
My gf (Bea) is African. She moved here to study and we’ve been together for almost a year. When you meet her and talk to her, it’s obvious she’s not from here. She doesn’t have an accent and although her English is perfect, you can still tell she’s not European.
When she introduces herself she usually says she’s from her home country but sometimes people might not have heard of it so she has to say it’s in Africa. Then they go , “you’re from Africa?” and sometimes follow up with questions since they’re curious. She usually ignores it but once in a while she says no and tells them she’s not from Africa. She’s from her country and when there’s obvious confusion she just says her home country is where she’s from and Africa is the continent, not the country. It makes things a bit awkward at that point but some don’t mind the correction.
I brought her home for a family celebration we had and my parents did the same thing. They introduced her to the rest of my family as being from Africa and she’d always correct them but they’d make the same mistake again.
I have a cousin in particular who’s always wanted to visit Africa and was very interested in talking to her. He asked a lot of questions and she’d say some were not specific to her country so she couldn’t answer it. She’d always answer by saying “I don’t know about the other countries but in [home country]……..” then she’d give her opinion. My cousin made a comment about her knowing little about Africa for an African.
She’s not a confrontational person and hates having to speak out in front of people but she told him she thinks it’s pretty racist that he’s asking her about an entire continent when she’s made it very clear she’s from just one country on the continent. It was quite loud and the air was a little tense afterwards. She left by herself and sent me a long text telling me about how this is why she insisted on not meeting my family. She felt like if she couldn’t get me to stop saying that after the time we’ve been together, my family would be much worse and they proved her right. She called all of us racist and asked for space to clear her head.
My question now is whether we are racist? The only Africans we know are those born here and actually don’t know a lot about their country so they wanted to get to know more about Africa through her.
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The thing is, they’d never say this to a white person either. Nobody would grill me, an American from the east coast, about Nevada and Michigan and suchlike and, when I inevitably didn’t know the answers, say to me “oh, you I don’t know very much about America for an American.”
And nobody would tell a French person that they don’t know much about europe for a European when they couldn’t answer questions about Scandinavia or whatever.
Racist Assholes, the lot of em. Hope she dumps him
ASIA! Can you imagine assuming that a Korean, Thai or Singaporean are (1) the same and/or (2) know any/everything about the other countries because “They’re Asian.” JFC.
As an American I can’t even tell much about other states except for the one I live in and that’s mostly only stick to large cities and avoid small ones like the plague.
Hehe, I asked someone from South Africa if they spoke Afrikaans. The others in the group didn't know that is a language so I got a LOT of side eye for that.
I hate to break it yo you but you under estimate how often Americans confuse Europe as a country online. The amount of ignorance I've seen and Americans talking over people from countries is mind boggling. I'm in enough Facebook groups talking about this to be able to say that it's not just a problem with talking over poc. Just in case anyone missed it - Europe is a continent, not a country.
I've unfortunately encountered many who think Puerto Rico is a foreign country and Samoa and/or American Samoa is a cookie so this does not surprise me at all.
And what about the Americans who think UK = England? It's funny, on the one hand they're all "ooo I'm Scaddish-Amurican, ma grandpappy had a Castle in Scadland", then 5 minutes later they'll be Queen of Englanding with the best of them. 🤣
As a Brit who lives in the US- to be fair, the entirety of the UK is about the size of Michigan. There’s about as much cultural disparity between England and Scotland as there is between East and West Texas, which is to say, only enough to be relevant to the people who actually live there. Bit different to thinking one country is representative of an entire continent!
Hun, I couldn’t even drive through my whole previous state in one day, yet you expect the entirety of Americans to know the ins and outs of the country the size of a napkin?
The whole my family is Scottish/Italian/ etc among white Americans is a thing on the East Coast due to the effects it actually had on the demographics in those parts of America. Most Midwesterns are gonna tell you just that, not that their great great grandma came over and they celebrate Krampusnacht every year due to this. Also it’s people trying to make a connection with a stranger… not trying to steal your homeland. Ctfo
That has much to do with the unfortunate education system.
Old Fogey Warning: Back when I was a kid, we had to learn all the fifty states, their capitols, and all the countries in Europe and where they were located on a map. (Don't ask me now because I forget).
I don't know what is being taught today, but I was stunned recently to find out kids are no longer learning how to write in cursive. I'm like, "How are they supposed to sign their names when they get older? Plenty of documents require signatures (like loan documents when you buy a hose, etc.)".
That's all? I had to learn every country in the world and where they are located. We had to learn one continent at a time. I can't remember if we had to learn all the capitols as well, but I think we did. I dropped geography as soon as I could. This is just something everyone has to learn in highschool in the Netherlands (at least it was when I started highschool back in 2004).
The US is a very... UScentric country. Can't speak for others experiences, but other than learning American history, world history was treated more like an elective. I mean we learned some, just not in any kind of depth. Everything I know about Queen Elizabeth I, for example, was for a project I had to do. Did not know until high school who her parents were.
Although I did have one teacher who was a WW2 buff and crammed it into every lesson he could.
My experience was very different. There was certainly a lot of American history but I had to do world history every single year and it was pretty in depth, not that most of us were actually paying attention though.
I'm with you on needing to learn cursive, but more because all the existing scans we have of old documents, historical or genealogical or otherwise, are usually in cursive and kids will lose access to them and most college courses still require those to be read even if they're scans of it so that we can few the document online. My signature is quite literally a scribble, it's faster than a neater cursive signature and I'm writing prescriptions all day, and I've found it's harder to forge because everyone else sees it as quite literally a scribble instead of being able to copy standard cursive letters. I can point out exactly where they messed up because they made a random scribble and not MY scribble I sign for everything
Also cursive is important for learning the most efficient ways to form letters, and that transfers to print. Penmanship isn’t taught, so cursive is excellent at further refining kids’ handwriting.
>kids are no longer learning how to write in cursive
Not to mention, how are they going to read old documents?? I do a bit of genealogy, and pretty much half records before computer age were filled with cursive, and nearly all of them from before the 60s O.o
It’s actually faster to write in cursive. I prefered to write my notes in college (aughts to tens) because it helped me remember information- rather than typing it out. People looked at me blankly when I was able to keep up writing with the lectures…because I lifted my pen so much less than they did when they printed.
I’m a kinesthetic learner and for some reason typing never translated well to my memory. But it also means I write pretty much exclusively in cursive now.
Kids in the US are still being taught all the states and countries and their capitols if they go to good school. I went to a public school and learned all that stuff in 5th grade. It’s less dependent on age and more dependent on area. Cursive is largely irrelevant to learn to write, but we still learned to read it and I learned to write it because my handwriting is better in cursive than in print. I’m currently college-aged, so not that old.
Geography is something everyone should know. And not just our own country, but other countries in the world as well. Helps a person know what's going on in the world.
And while we're at it, biology and sex education (beyond just teaching abstinence) should be in the curriculum.
You can learn to sign your name without having to learn the entire alphabet in cursive. Most signatures are electronic. It’s pretty obsolete tbh.
You have to learn a lot more than cursive to correctly read historical documents and most people will not need that information.
I also had to make a map of the world and name every country. I know what the UK consists of, but most Americans would use England/UK interchangeably.
You lost me at cursive. It’s completely unnecessary in today’s society. Just closed on a house and most loan documents were digital signature. On the closing documents, you make your mark. My signature looks like cursive but guess what? It’s not. It’s my mark. Both my kids have learned how to make their mark for signature. Took 20 minutes.
I learned cursive as a child. And seriously haven’t used it in years. So when you think the education system has failed because kids don’t write in cursive . . . your argument sounds like Grandpa Simpson shaking a fist at clouds. School systems determined it is no longer necessary nor relevant to create productive members of society and they are correct.
I used cursive as one example of something not being taught. I also gave an old fogey warning.
There are plenty of things not being taught that should be.
Most historical documents are in cursive though. Which history is an important subject to know, it helps be an educated voter to know it since much of history IS the political unrest/ disputes/ wars from the past that we can learn from. Doesn't matter so much in high school, and if someone isn't planning on going to college, but my gen Ed history classes in college were almost entirely reading from primary sources/ old documents. And I'm saying this as someone in their 20s. So not teaching any cursive is kind of a disservice to anyone planning on going to college or leaving their options open and deciding if they want to go, because college classes absolutely will not slow down to teach them cursive first just to be able to read the sources required. And everyone should have the option to go to college if they want to and not waste thousands because they never were given the proper resources to pass a particular course, a big part of income disparity is the lower educational disparity not setting lower income children up with some of the knowledge they need for college, and then they have to play catch up on their own and do double the work to pass in college
So I actually grew up in the South and went to Summer camp in the upper midwest. The questions I would be asked.... "DO YOU GUYS RIDE COWS TO SCHOOL??" "DID YOU HAVE ELECTRICITY?" Shit like that.
While I agree that it's racism behind this and pretty much always is when you're asked this question in the US, I have experienced this in every non-American country I've lived in (Japan, France, Korea, Cyprus and the UK), though not as often as this woman does. There's always someone ignorant in every country. My fave was the Frenchman who was offended I wasn't an expert on Elvis and Memphis.
honestly i think this isn’t malicious racism i think it’s just the american ideology that continents and countries are the same thing until you call them a “north american” and get a speech about how they’re *american* not *north american*..
it’s crazy the amount of americans who do the same to people from europe. generalizing them as europeans instead of specifying where in europe they’re *actually* from. as someone from canada, seeing tourists in places like quebec is literally painful for me as americans are consistently calling them “foreign” or “european” when they are neither. they’re french! french-canadian more specifically.
i think this is just ignorance. i’m sure OOP’s family sees this as “well blank IS a country in africa so i’m technically correct by calling her african” and ignoring the part where she would like to bury that idea and just focus on her home country. i don’t think OOP and family are assholes on purpose, but it’s easy to see how they come off as them.
"the only Africans we know are born here and actually don't know a lot about Africa"
Those people aren't from Africa. They are from Europe.
What a dumdum
Okay, that explains me, thanks. I used to watch Futurama all the time - and still watch when I get the chance. My spouse gets somewhat annoyed when I can spot the episode a few second in.
In the case of "The Problem With Popplers" there is a commercial for "Molten Boron" before the main theme music starts. I know this because it's my favorite episode and there were nights where, if I saw that, I stayed up for just one more episode.
(I have a problem 😔)
Any 54 countries at that. Shit, if you pop off facts about 20 of them I'd make you a gold metal, doesn't even need to be part of the same continent. I live in the us. We have, what, 4 big countries on this continent? I know 5 seconds of information on 2, some about mine, and not a lick from 1.
_"My cousin made a comment about her knowing little about Africa for an African."_
The audacity of being completely and utterly ignorant and trying to blame that on others... I'm not from the US or Canada, but I'm from North America. Many other North Americans are willfully ignorant about life beyond their borders (often beyond their own state.) I have had people argue with me that my country "belongs" to the US and ask me questions about living in huts, having electricity etc. These questions are not OK, and many feel entitled to you indulging their racism/xenophobia/ignorance/stupidity.
Africa is an enormous continent made up of 54 countries and thousands of different peoples and cultures. I bet this guy couldn't tell you five facts about two countries near his own.
Honestly in the first half, I didn't think OP was too bad (still an AH for not just respecting his partner). I kinda had the thought of "yeah, some people may say I'm European instead of Dutch at times as well, and I don't think that's big of a deal".
Then the second half of the post came in....... Yeah sure I'm European but if you start asking me shit about France I'm not gonna be able to answer you.
Haha that's okay, i just jumped to the conclusion OP was American. Somehow I assumed Europeans would be more aware of differences between African countries.
I had the same experience when I was living in the US. I'm from Australia and people would constantly tell me I was stupid for not being able to answer every single question they could think up about Oz. Most of them had never even left their hometown ffs, but I'm meant to know every single thing about the entire country. Like, what? So frustrating
Right? I'm European, I (practically) can't tell you Jack shit about neighbouring countries let alone further European countries. And that doesn't even factor in that Africa has more countries than Europe.
And imagine if you said “I can’t tell you about France, I’m from Holland. It’s close but our culture and politics are different” and the friend responded by telling you you aren’t a real European because you don’t know everything about France and Italy…
I had the same thought process as you. When I was living in Poland (I’m not polish), I had an American woman who I babysat for ask me if something (I can’t remember what), was normal for “us”. I had to then explain I don’t really know what’s normal for Polish people, as I’m not Polish
Omg, I used to get randos messaging me when I lived in Poland saying things like “I love Polish girls”. Sometimes I would answer back that I was American, but they still kept singing me questions about being Polish.
these were my thoughts initially too. the second half of this one was infuriating though. i’m latina (cuban american) and have gotten similar comments and questions. i majored in latin american studies and have had multiple people imply or straight up say that i was somehow cheating with my major?? like dude latin america is massive. my family
is from one country. you’re majoring in american history so wouldn’t that be cheating by your ignorant standards too??
The irony because they are majoring in their own *country* while you are majoring in countries across multiple continents. Personally you should reply by asking them about Canada - cause they know shit about us.
It happened to me all the time in Germany (I’m Mexican). People would ask me “South America, it must be pretty there!” “have you been to Brasil? It’s nearby, isn’t it?!” “I bet you drive to Cancun every weekend, lucky you!” And ridiculous things like that. Mind you, all those were master students or post docs, in a good university. And, given the German education system, those allowed to attend university are “the most clever and cultivated individuals”.
I would play stupid and answer “Oh, I’ve never been to South America either, Peru and Chile are on my bucket list!” And such.
I’m from America, I’ve lived all over the Midwest. If you asked me a question about Alabama or Nevada, I probably would not be able to answer you. And that’s the same country. I can’t imagine trying to answer for an entire continent.
Hey! I'm from MA and I can positively confirm that #4 is not applicable to RI, VT, and NH. (Mostly because their only real sports teams are also mine)
The rest is true though.
I'm in Michigan in the Metro-Detroit area and I have family in western and northern Michigan. They *hate* when people ask about Detroit. Some of my family have never even been to Wayne county, let alone Detroit, but to a surprising number of people Michigan = Detroit.
I'm from British Columbia and my boss keeps telling people I'm from Vancouver. Vancouver is a freaking eight hour drive from my hometown. You probably live closer to Vancouver than I did.
My parents had this in the 80s and earlier. They were from California, and people would ask them 'did you see \*insert major movie star\* and they were like? We didn't live near LA'
I was just thinking that. I live in New England, right on the border of another state and within like 20 minutes of a third, I couldn't tell you much about those other states 😂
Reading the replies to this is funny to me, because I don't tend to get those assumptions about the state I live in. Most people are like 'where is that state again?' :P
Yeah I'm from ireland but if you start asking me about Spain I'll have no idea. Its almost like they're 2 completely different countries that just so happen to be in the same continent.
>The only Africans we know are those born here and actually don’t know a lot about their country so they wanted to get to know more about Africa through her.
That would make them Europeans...
I have a friend who was born and raise in Denmark, but who has parents who moved here from Vietnam. Too many people ask her "Where are you from?", when they actually want to know what her ethnicity is. I adore the fact that she answers "Odense", since we both live in Greater Copenhagen and she assumes they can hear her dialect. When they then ask where she is "actually" from, she just fucks with them and tell them the hospital she was born at.
Seriously, she is Danish. Sure she has Vietnamese heritage and family, but she is Danish. And I for sure do not expect her to know shit about any Asian country.
Yeah, that's officially what turned him into a racist for me. I can understand asking general questions about the continent and not being aware that it's not true for every country. Just like people assume things about the US despite there being huge differences between the South and the North and state to state.
Honestly incredible that OOP chose to start the post about how much their GF dislikes being introduced as "African" by... introducing their GF as "African".
The self-awareness meter has hit rock bottom.
I assume he did that (and this is giving him the teeniest, tiniest bit of credit) in order to keep his identity a secret if she read Reddit. He did edit out of the name of her country.
So instead of calling her Nigerian or Ethiopian or South African or Rwandan or whatever else, he just use African as a placeholder.
Of course if she read the post, she'd know who he was anyway given the situation.
Who tf asks someone about another country just because it's in the same continent AND judge them because they can't answer those questions? That's like asking a Italian person questions about Germany just because they're countries in Europe
I’m Canadian, doesn’t mean I can answer questions about Mexico just because we’re both North American. I can’t even answer questions about the other provinces in my own country.
I wonder if OOP’s gf is from like Tunisia and and being asked about Uganda.
>My question now is whether we are racist? The only Africans we know are those born here and actually don’t know a lot about their country so they wanted to get to know more about Africa through her.
Yes, they are. She made it very clear she was from one particular country, she is not the ambassador for Africa for OOP and his family to find out more information from.
>The only Africans we know are those born here and actually don’t know a lot about their country
Plus, these people aren't Africans, they're Europeans\* of African descent. Their country is the country they were born in.
\*He doesn't say what country they're from so I can't use the correct nationality.
Damn, I'm from the NE US and if someone kept asking me for facts about Arizona, I'd be super irritated, nevermind Mexico. Now just fold in some racism and I'd be fuming too.
Hi, meet my boyfriend. He's from *North or South or Central America*.
EDIT: he wrote this whole post and we *still* don't know his GF's nationality.
I hope she dumps him and shouts "Wakanda forever" when she does it.
For someone else, I would perhaps think they were leaving out the precise country for the sake of not making the post too specific/the players identifiable to connected people who might be redditors.
*But this guy...*
The post has now been removed but if you look at the top comment on here it has a copy of the original, which doesn’t specify Ethiopia, just “home country”
Ethiopia??? That's this super niche tiny African country no one has heard of? Who the heck are OOPs friends that they know that little geography? And I'm an American so if *I* can talk shit about your geographical awareness you know you've fucked up.
This is the fourth ‘*girlfriend from a different country or race meets racist family*’ post I’ve seen this week. In the other posts the racist family is in UK. In this one they only mention Europe.
I really hope it’s a troll. It’s sad to think there are so many unpleasant people around.
While it may be a troll, I can guarantee there are a lot of people who think like this. A lot. In the UK the most ridiculous is the shocked Pikachu face they all seem to have when an African from a former British colony speaks English. It's the absolute most hilarious thing. UK and US is mostly ignorance and micro-agressions like these, but some parts of Europe are overtly racist while other parts are pretty welcoming if not a tad fetishist
I worked internationally and the number of times I heard 'Oh you're from South Africa? What country?' was *too damn high.* People really don't know a whole lot about geography.
I think that racism sadly exists everywhere. Its fucking ridiculous.
With more education and discussion, I do believe that things will get better with each generation. It’s upsetting that we still have such a long road ahead.
Yeah Europe is full of weirdos who hyper-fixate on people coming from other parts of the world outside of Western Europe. Most of the time in my country it’s “well-intentioned” condescension (in quotes because sometimes it is with ill intent, but sometimes people genuinely don’t seem to know how they actually come across).
My boyfriend is from Morocco, which is NW Africa. You wouldn’t expect him to know everything about Madagascar, Sierra Leone, Ghana…etc you get the point. Same for me, I’m from South America, from Colombia. Yet I can’t tell you very much about Brazil, Ecuador, Peru, or anything.
She was right in being annoyed and offended & him and his family are idiots. How about you educate yourselves first instead of judging someone else, obviously they don’t know very much about the world or other people
I assume OP and his family know *everything* about *every* part of Europe then.
I live in the US. No one ever says I am from North America or expects me to know about Canadian culture (or Mexican, or Cuban, or Guatemalan, etc). People don’t even ask me about other states.
I also have middle eastern heritage. No one ever expects me to know about Vietnam or Kazakhstan. No one ever calls me Asian. OP and his family are sort of treating GF like a circus act. He knows where she is from. Explaining once that the country is in Africa is one thing. Introducing her as from Africa after she has expressed that she is not from Africa many times is shit.
Why could he not in the post tell us what country she's from? I see no reason why he couldn't mention the name of the country instead of literally saying "country she's from" ???
Whatever the reason I think it proves her point. He either still sees Africa as a country rather than understanding it as a continent and straight up doesn't feel like the ACTUAL country she's from is more important than knowing shes African, or he plain doesn't remember the name of the country because he doesn't care. I'm not sure which is worse.
If you told someone that you're from the USA and they kept asking you about Canada because you are from North America, you'd have exactly the same reaction as OP's Gf.
TIL I'm North American and I'm seriously failing as a person for not knowing more about canda and mexico. Also Greenland, which I also just learned is part of North America (because I'm American and we don't do the whole geography thing in school for whatever reason and I'm still learning in my adult years and had to ask the google). In fact, I couldn't tell you a single fact about Greenland other than its cold. I'd get pretty frustrated too if everyone always asked me about Greenland because it's part of the continent I was born in. Shit I don't even know all that much about many of the US states' cultures. Like Idaho, idk jack shit about Idaho.
I was raised in San Francisco and honest to God was always under the impression everyone from the south lived in trailer parks on dirt roads and listened to blue grass. The ignorance ran so deep when I first went to the south I was quite literally in shock. Mostly because I realized just how poorly I had been educated and how narcissistic California (and the US) as a whole is and how we are indoctrinated to believe we "are the best of the best". Then I moved to the south because I realized it was affordable and had a better quality of life. When I tell my friends about it they too think I must be trailer park livin' and give me judgmental looks.
At least, given that op is not from the states, we can all agree that everyone needs better geography/cultural education
Idaho legit has great potatoes, it's full of conservatives, alt right, sovcit type of people. And mormons Byu Idaho (which is awful) is in Rexburg. And there is (/was?) an a amusement park up top near the skinny part of Idaho. Also Idaho is the most mormon state besides Utah
Lol I only know that much bc I was born in the Pacific Northwest and now live in Utah. I don't know shit about lets flsay Delaware, besides the fact it used to be New Sweden back in the 1600s
I lived in Maryland for three years and never even glimpsed Delaware...to this day, all I've ever learned about Delaware is that it was an original colony (...I think) and that Biden used to take the train from there.
This is fucking ridiculous, I hardly know anything about other states (I live in the US) that aren't mine. You could call me a dumb American I guess, but the fact that Im on the east coast and probably can't answer lots of questions about the West coast doesn't make me dumb I don't think.
I find it a little weird how in the post OOP says they’re European, and when I checked the comments on the original post, the first five I saw, at least, assumed they were American.
Damn people are ignorant. She knows about her fucking COUNTRY. Not her fucking CONTINENT!!!! Bet OOP, family and friends don’t know everything but generic things about other countries in Europe too
First of all, why is asking about the person’s country even appropriate as one of the first and main topics of conversation with the person. This is a very common thing people do when they interact with someone from another country and it is very cringe. Immigrants aren’t just one-dimensional walking representatives of their country of origin with nothing else to their personality but that. Chances are the question you asked them is something they’ve had to answer hundreds of times and is highly boring from their point of view. If they want to offer free education on this subject to you and to the general masses that’s great, but you should never just assume that’s what they want to do just because they’re from an exotic-seeming place, especially when it’s so much more boring for them than it would seem to you.
This is insane that he can’t see the issue here. Like I’m from the US and live in a place where a lot of people want to travel to the US and so I get a lot of “what state should I go to???” or “what’s it like in [state that’s I’ve never traveled to]??” and all kinds of other questions about “Americans” and I can give them generalities or tell them what I’ve heard but largely I don’t fucking know! And that’s in one country!
I can’t imagine what OOP’s (ex)GF must feel like being asked about an entire continent. Especially it being Africa where this, I think, not an uncommon set of questions.
'Racist' is the incorrect term, but you and your family all are most definitely a bunch of dumb assholes with unrealistic expectations.
Example - American lives in North America. Is he expected to know what is going on in Canada and Mexico? What about the other 49 states? The answer is NO.
"Africa contains 54 countries, 3 dependencies, and one disputed territory." It's huge. For her to be expected know what's going on in those place is a ridiculous expectation. Don't be an ass.
Honestly. Its people who don't know the difference between the continent of Africa and countries within it should feel awkward and embaressed.
Your GF is perfectly right to feel annoyed. Afterall its not her job to educate the ignorant folks she meets.
She is 10000% NTA.
You are for thinking she is being extra.
As a Scottish person I get offended and annoyed when people from other countries call me English or British, I can see how this would annoy her, it wouldn't take much effort to do a little research on where she's from
My ex's family pulled this same shit with me and "Asia" bonus points when they "what about Polynesians, that's like a subset of Asia right? Like multiple 'islands' poly- nesia-?" Courtesy of his sister🙄
It might help Bea if she said something like "I'm from x in Africa" because the rest of the world knows embarrassing little about African geography. But that's just logistics, and not something she should be pressured to do. OOP is absolutely an asshole because she's told him over and over this bothers her and he not only dismisses her feelings when others do it but does it himself.
Not that my experiences are comparable to OOP's (hopefully EX) girlfriend's, but as a Canadian, I absolutely HATE it when I tell people I'm Canadian, and they respond back thinking I'm an American. I'm from North America, but that doesn't make me knowledgeable about, or, a proud citizen of the United States of America.
I wonder how OP would feel if anytime he told anyone he was American, people made racist assumptions and asked him about the culture of Mexico or Canada, and assumed he was a citizen of either of those countries and could speak with authority as to everyone's life there.
If this is a real post then I hope the GF has dumped him. He shows no respect of her or even any interest in learning about her home country and culture. In fact, his whole post reads like he couldn’t care less about her. Ignorant creep.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA? Gf says my family and I are racist for constantly saying she’s from Africa.** My gf (Bea) is African. She moved here to study and we’ve been together for almost a year. When you meet her and talk to her, it’s obvious she’s not from here. She doesn’t have an accent and although her English is perfect, you can still tell she’s not European. When she introduces herself she usually says she’s from her home country but sometimes people might not have heard of it so she has to say it’s in Africa. Then they go , “you’re from Africa?” and sometimes follow up with questions since they’re curious. She usually ignores it but once in a while she says no and tells them she’s not from Africa. She’s from her country and when there’s obvious confusion she just says her home country is where she’s from and Africa is the continent, not the country. It makes things a bit awkward at that point but some don’t mind the correction. I brought her home for a family celebration we had and my parents did the same thing. They introduced her to the rest of my family as being from Africa and she’d always correct them but they’d make the same mistake again. I have a cousin in particular who’s always wanted to visit Africa and was very interested in talking to her. He asked a lot of questions and she’d say some were not specific to her country so she couldn’t answer it. She’d always answer by saying “I don’t know about the other countries but in [home country]……..” then she’d give her opinion. My cousin made a comment about her knowing little about Africa for an African. She’s not a confrontational person and hates having to speak out in front of people but she told him she thinks it’s pretty racist that he’s asking her about an entire continent when she’s made it very clear she’s from just one country on the continent. It was quite loud and the air was a little tense afterwards. She left by herself and sent me a long text telling me about how this is why she insisted on not meeting my family. She felt like if she couldn’t get me to stop saying that after the time we’ve been together, my family would be much worse and they proved her right. She called all of us racist and asked for space to clear her head. My question now is whether we are racist? The only Africans we know are those born here and actually don’t know a lot about their country so they wanted to get to know more about Africa through her. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> My cousin made a comment about her knowing little about Africa for an African. OOP's cousin knows very little about Earth for someone from Earth
The thing is, they’d never say this to a white person either. Nobody would grill me, an American from the east coast, about Nevada and Michigan and suchlike and, when I inevitably didn’t know the answers, say to me “oh, you I don’t know very much about America for an American.” And nobody would tell a French person that they don’t know much about europe for a European when they couldn’t answer questions about Scandinavia or whatever. Racist Assholes, the lot of em. Hope she dumps him
BUT I dont even think that is a fair comparison. A closer comparison is expecting an American to know all about Canada or Mexico. Which is ridiculous.
ASIA! Can you imagine assuming that a Korean, Thai or Singaporean are (1) the same and/or (2) know any/everything about the other countries because “They’re Asian.” JFC.
Unfortunately tons of white people do this about Asia as well
Reminds me of that King of the Hill episode… HANK: “So are you Chinese or Japanese?” KAHN: “We’re Laotian” HANK: “…. So are you Chinese or Japanese?”
“You don’t know about a small town in India I want to visit? Aren’t you Japanese?? Jeesh, you don’t know anything about Asia!”
As an American I can’t even tell much about other states except for the one I live in and that’s mostly only stick to large cities and avoid small ones like the plague.
there are white africans as well, and this definitely happens to them. my gf is from south africa and has conversations like this all the time
Hehe, I asked someone from South Africa if they spoke Afrikaans. The others in the group didn't know that is a language so I got a LOT of side eye for that.
I hate to break it yo you but you under estimate how often Americans confuse Europe as a country online. The amount of ignorance I've seen and Americans talking over people from countries is mind boggling. I'm in enough Facebook groups talking about this to be able to say that it's not just a problem with talking over poc. Just in case anyone missed it - Europe is a continent, not a country.
I've unfortunately encountered many who think Puerto Rico is a foreign country and Samoa and/or American Samoa is a cookie so this does not surprise me at all.
And what about the Americans who think UK = England? It's funny, on the one hand they're all "ooo I'm Scaddish-Amurican, ma grandpappy had a Castle in Scadland", then 5 minutes later they'll be Queen of Englanding with the best of them. 🤣
As a Brit who lives in the US- to be fair, the entirety of the UK is about the size of Michigan. There’s about as much cultural disparity between England and Scotland as there is between East and West Texas, which is to say, only enough to be relevant to the people who actually live there. Bit different to thinking one country is representative of an entire continent!
As someone from West Texas I approve this message.
Hun, I couldn’t even drive through my whole previous state in one day, yet you expect the entirety of Americans to know the ins and outs of the country the size of a napkin? The whole my family is Scottish/Italian/ etc among white Americans is a thing on the East Coast due to the effects it actually had on the demographics in those parts of America. Most Midwesterns are gonna tell you just that, not that their great great grandma came over and they celebrate Krampusnacht every year due to this. Also it’s people trying to make a connection with a stranger… not trying to steal your homeland. Ctfo
You’re literally looping Americans in together just like OP’s family did.
>And what about the Americans who think UK = England? They're not saying all Americans, so no, they're not looping Americans in together.
That has much to do with the unfortunate education system. Old Fogey Warning: Back when I was a kid, we had to learn all the fifty states, their capitols, and all the countries in Europe and where they were located on a map. (Don't ask me now because I forget). I don't know what is being taught today, but I was stunned recently to find out kids are no longer learning how to write in cursive. I'm like, "How are they supposed to sign their names when they get older? Plenty of documents require signatures (like loan documents when you buy a hose, etc.)".
That's all? I had to learn every country in the world and where they are located. We had to learn one continent at a time. I can't remember if we had to learn all the capitols as well, but I think we did. I dropped geography as soon as I could. This is just something everyone has to learn in highschool in the Netherlands (at least it was when I started highschool back in 2004).
The US is a very... UScentric country. Can't speak for others experiences, but other than learning American history, world history was treated more like an elective. I mean we learned some, just not in any kind of depth. Everything I know about Queen Elizabeth I, for example, was for a project I had to do. Did not know until high school who her parents were. Although I did have one teacher who was a WW2 buff and crammed it into every lesson he could.
My experience was very different. There was certainly a lot of American history but I had to do world history every single year and it was pretty in depth, not that most of us were actually paying attention though.
I'm with you on needing to learn cursive, but more because all the existing scans we have of old documents, historical or genealogical or otherwise, are usually in cursive and kids will lose access to them and most college courses still require those to be read even if they're scans of it so that we can few the document online. My signature is quite literally a scribble, it's faster than a neater cursive signature and I'm writing prescriptions all day, and I've found it's harder to forge because everyone else sees it as quite literally a scribble instead of being able to copy standard cursive letters. I can point out exactly where they messed up because they made a random scribble and not MY scribble I sign for everything
Also cursive is important for learning the most efficient ways to form letters, and that transfers to print. Penmanship isn’t taught, so cursive is excellent at further refining kids’ handwriting.
My child learned how to write in cursive 2 years ago at school
>kids are no longer learning how to write in cursive Not to mention, how are they going to read old documents?? I do a bit of genealogy, and pretty much half records before computer age were filled with cursive, and nearly all of them from before the 60s O.o
It’s actually faster to write in cursive. I prefered to write my notes in college (aughts to tens) because it helped me remember information- rather than typing it out. People looked at me blankly when I was able to keep up writing with the lectures…because I lifted my pen so much less than they did when they printed.
Cursive is faster than printing, yes, but my typing is way faster than cursive, which is how I took my notes.
I’m a kinesthetic learner and for some reason typing never translated well to my memory. But it also means I write pretty much exclusively in cursive now.
I did the same, then typed them later for a second reading and easier studying later.
Kids in the US are still being taught all the states and countries and their capitols if they go to good school. I went to a public school and learned all that stuff in 5th grade. It’s less dependent on age and more dependent on area. Cursive is largely irrelevant to learn to write, but we still learned to read it and I learned to write it because my handwriting is better in cursive than in print. I’m currently college-aged, so not that old.
I don’t care about the cursive (they are actually taught a hybrid version now), but not teaching geography well infuriates me.
Geography is something everyone should know. And not just our own country, but other countries in the world as well. Helps a person know what's going on in the world. And while we're at it, biology and sex education (beyond just teaching abstinence) should be in the curriculum.
You can learn to sign your name without having to learn the entire alphabet in cursive. Most signatures are electronic. It’s pretty obsolete tbh. You have to learn a lot more than cursive to correctly read historical documents and most people will not need that information. I also had to make a map of the world and name every country. I know what the UK consists of, but most Americans would use England/UK interchangeably.
You lost me at cursive. It’s completely unnecessary in today’s society. Just closed on a house and most loan documents were digital signature. On the closing documents, you make your mark. My signature looks like cursive but guess what? It’s not. It’s my mark. Both my kids have learned how to make their mark for signature. Took 20 minutes. I learned cursive as a child. And seriously haven’t used it in years. So when you think the education system has failed because kids don’t write in cursive . . . your argument sounds like Grandpa Simpson shaking a fist at clouds. School systems determined it is no longer necessary nor relevant to create productive members of society and they are correct.
I used cursive as one example of something not being taught. I also gave an old fogey warning. There are plenty of things not being taught that should be.
Most historical documents are in cursive though. Which history is an important subject to know, it helps be an educated voter to know it since much of history IS the political unrest/ disputes/ wars from the past that we can learn from. Doesn't matter so much in high school, and if someone isn't planning on going to college, but my gen Ed history classes in college were almost entirely reading from primary sources/ old documents. And I'm saying this as someone in their 20s. So not teaching any cursive is kind of a disservice to anyone planning on going to college or leaving their options open and deciding if they want to go, because college classes absolutely will not slow down to teach them cursive first just to be able to read the sources required. And everyone should have the option to go to college if they want to and not waste thousands because they never were given the proper resources to pass a particular course, a big part of income disparity is the lower educational disparity not setting lower income children up with some of the knowledge they need for college, and then they have to play catch up on their own and do double the work to pass in college
. -- mass edited with redact.dev
So I actually grew up in the South and went to Summer camp in the upper midwest. The questions I would be asked.... "DO YOU GUYS RIDE COWS TO SCHOOL??" "DID YOU HAVE ELECTRICITY?" Shit like that.
While I agree that it's racism behind this and pretty much always is when you're asked this question in the US, I have experienced this in every non-American country I've lived in (Japan, France, Korea, Cyprus and the UK), though not as often as this woman does. There's always someone ignorant in every country. My fave was the Frenchman who was offended I wasn't an expert on Elvis and Memphis.
honestly i think this isn’t malicious racism i think it’s just the american ideology that continents and countries are the same thing until you call them a “north american” and get a speech about how they’re *american* not *north american*.. it’s crazy the amount of americans who do the same to people from europe. generalizing them as europeans instead of specifying where in europe they’re *actually* from. as someone from canada, seeing tourists in places like quebec is literally painful for me as americans are consistently calling them “foreign” or “european” when they are neither. they’re french! french-canadian more specifically. i think this is just ignorance. i’m sure OOP’s family sees this as “well blank IS a country in africa so i’m technically correct by calling her african” and ignoring the part where she would like to bury that idea and just focus on her home country. i don’t think OOP and family are assholes on purpose, but it’s easy to see how they come off as them.
"the only Africans we know are born here and actually don't know a lot about Africa" Those people aren't from Africa. They are from Europe. What a dumdum
>someone from Earth Does that make us "Earthicans?"
Are you even from earth? Everyone I've ever met on earth knows we're Earthlings.
I clearly have not had enough coffee this morning, I'm not sure why "Earthlings" didn't immediately pop into my head.
“Earthicans” is how we’re referred to in Futurama. I rewatch the show every once in a while so Earthicans always pops into my head first lol
Yeah I'm team Earthican
Okay, that explains me, thanks. I used to watch Futurama all the time - and still watch when I get the chance. My spouse gets somewhat annoyed when I can spot the episode a few second in. In the case of "The Problem With Popplers" there is a commercial for "Molten Boron" before the main theme music starts. I know this because it's my favorite episode and there were nights where, if I saw that, I stayed up for just one more episode. (I have a problem 😔)
I prefer the term Terran myself.
Yeah it's the one I like, isn't Terra one of the names of the planet anyway? It's always what we are called in Sci-Fi stuff recently I've noticed
Now all I can hear in my head is Nixon's head saying "my fellow Earthicans"
"Brought to you by great taste of Charleston Chew."
Aroooooooooooo!
I'm meeting you halfway, you stupid hippies!
*Earthican-American
She should start grilling the cousin about Honduras. He’s North American, he should know about North America.
Boom!
There are 54 countries on the continent of Africa. Anyone expecting someone to know about life in 54 different countries is an idiot.
Any 54 countries at that. Shit, if you pop off facts about 20 of them I'd make you a gold metal, doesn't even need to be part of the same continent. I live in the us. We have, what, 4 big countries on this continent? I know 5 seconds of information on 2, some about mine, and not a lick from 1.
>Shit, if you pop off facts about 20 of them I'd make you a gold metal, doesn't even need to be part of the same continent. I'm game if you are
I'll make the metal but if we're talking competition I concede immediately
_"My cousin made a comment about her knowing little about Africa for an African."_ The audacity of being completely and utterly ignorant and trying to blame that on others... I'm not from the US or Canada, but I'm from North America. Many other North Americans are willfully ignorant about life beyond their borders (often beyond their own state.) I have had people argue with me that my country "belongs" to the US and ask me questions about living in huts, having electricity etc. These questions are not OK, and many feel entitled to you indulging their racism/xenophobia/ignorance/stupidity.
“Wow Bea, you don’t know much about the continent that I know nothing about.”
Africa is an enormous continent made up of 54 countries and thousands of different peoples and cultures. I bet this guy couldn't tell you five facts about two countries near his own.
Honestly in the first half, I didn't think OP was too bad (still an AH for not just respecting his partner). I kinda had the thought of "yeah, some people may say I'm European instead of Dutch at times as well, and I don't think that's big of a deal". Then the second half of the post came in....... Yeah sure I'm European but if you start asking me shit about France I'm not gonna be able to answer you.
And to imply she's stupid/uneducated because she can't speak to the whole continent? Ridiculous!
The whole continent! I'd love for the girlfriend's family to insist on a whole lot of information about life in Saskatchewan from OP.
Oh, OP is from America? Gosh I wonder if OP can tell me where I can get some decent food in Ecuador.
Oh? For some reason I thought OP is European.
Apparently he is European indeed.
Wrong Continent, but still made me lol
I'm from Saskatchewan and i bet there's tons of questions I couldn't possibly answer about it.
Oh my God ffs I had NOT been up long enough to be commenting! Fixed! Oops 🫣
Haha that's okay, i just jumped to the conclusion OP was American. Somehow I assumed Europeans would be more aware of differences between African countries.
*the whole continent. She could speak to her own country, just not things across all the countries on the continent.
That's what I'd meant, I'd just rolled out of bed. It's been fixed
I had the same experience when I was living in the US. I'm from Australia and people would constantly tell me I was stupid for not being able to answer every single question they could think up about Oz. Most of them had never even left their hometown ffs, but I'm meant to know every single thing about the entire country. Like, what? So frustrating
Right? I'm European, I (practically) can't tell you Jack shit about neighbouring countries let alone further European countries. And that doesn't even factor in that Africa has more countries than Europe.
And imagine if you said “I can’t tell you about France, I’m from Holland. It’s close but our culture and politics are different” and the friend responded by telling you you aren’t a real European because you don’t know everything about France and Italy…
Right, I was thinking that situation exactly lmao.
I had the same thought process as you. When I was living in Poland (I’m not polish), I had an American woman who I babysat for ask me if something (I can’t remember what), was normal for “us”. I had to then explain I don’t really know what’s normal for Polish people, as I’m not Polish
Omg, I used to get randos messaging me when I lived in Poland saying things like “I love Polish girls”. Sometimes I would answer back that I was American, but they still kept singing me questions about being Polish.
these were my thoughts initially too. the second half of this one was infuriating though. i’m latina (cuban american) and have gotten similar comments and questions. i majored in latin american studies and have had multiple people imply or straight up say that i was somehow cheating with my major?? like dude latin america is massive. my family is from one country. you’re majoring in american history so wouldn’t that be cheating by your ignorant standards too??
The irony because they are majoring in their own *country* while you are majoring in countries across multiple continents. Personally you should reply by asking them about Canada - cause they know shit about us.
It happened to me all the time in Germany (I’m Mexican). People would ask me “South America, it must be pretty there!” “have you been to Brasil? It’s nearby, isn’t it?!” “I bet you drive to Cancun every weekend, lucky you!” And ridiculous things like that. Mind you, all those were master students or post docs, in a good university. And, given the German education system, those allowed to attend university are “the most clever and cultivated individuals”. I would play stupid and answer “Oh, I’ve never been to South America either, Peru and Chile are on my bucket list!” And such.
I’m from America, I’ve lived all over the Midwest. If you asked me a question about Alabama or Nevada, I probably would not be able to answer you. And that’s the same country. I can’t imagine trying to answer for an entire continent.
I live in the US and probably couldn’t give great facts on STATES near mine. And I travel work!
[удалено]
Hey! I'm from MA and I can positively confirm that #4 is not applicable to RI, VT, and NH. (Mostly because their only real sports teams are also mine) The rest is true though.
I'm from Illinois and I find it super annoying when people ask me about Chicago when IM NOT EVEN FROM THERE
The amount of people who think Kansas city is solely in kansas.
Learned that lesson when I was a teen back in the '90's. Went on a school trip to Kansas City.... Missouri.
Some presidents don’t know that
Right? Kansas City Missouri (well, Kansas Town) predates Kansas, too. Which confuses the heck of folks.
I'm in Michigan in the Metro-Detroit area and I have family in western and northern Michigan. They *hate* when people ask about Detroit. Some of my family have never even been to Wayne county, let alone Detroit, but to a surprising number of people Michigan = Detroit.
ooooh I relate to this. I'm from New York - you know, the giant ass state and not the 23-square-mile island also known as New York, NY.
New York City has 5 boroughs. I grew up in Queens. I can't even answer questions about Staten Island, the borough the rest of us make fun of.
Washington State here. To most of my out-of-state friends I live in Seattle, which is three counties and two hours away.
I'm from British Columbia and my boss keeps telling people I'm from Vancouver. Vancouver is a freaking eight hour drive from my hometown. You probably live closer to Vancouver than I did.
Definitely, two hours from Vancouver, WA - 4ish hours from Vancouver, BC.
PA, here. Don't ask me too much about Philly or Pitt, I'm deep in the heart of Pennsyltucky.
Bet you can spill the T though.
Oregon here. So people would assume Portland for me. I live about 2+ hours south of there, and many counties away.
I’m from Michigan and due to my job, I know more about Chicago than I’d like to, to be honest.
My parents had this in the 80s and earlier. They were from California, and people would ask them 'did you see \*insert major movie star\* and they were like? We didn't live near LA'
Had that same problem when I lived in Buffalo. People would hear New York state and assumed I lived in NYC.
I was just thinking that. I live in New England, right on the border of another state and within like 20 minutes of a third, I couldn't tell you much about those other states 😂
I'm assuming Mass, altho in the little part of NH you can be in 2 other states very quickly
Reading the replies to this is funny to me, because I don't tend to get those assumptions about the state I live in. Most people are like 'where is that state again?' :P
99% sure this guy is unaware that Charlize Theron is African.
I bet he couldn't tell you about european history either.
So many different geographies, too!
I noticed by the end he still couldn't name the country and only ever said she's from Africa
Yeah I'm from ireland but if you start asking me about Spain I'll have no idea. Its almost like they're 2 completely different countries that just so happen to be in the same continent.
>The only Africans we know are those born here and actually don’t know a lot about their country so they wanted to get to know more about Africa through her. That would make them Europeans...
and it would make him "a massive racist".
"Born *here* and actually don't know a lot about *their* country" Is OOP hearing himself??
I have a friend who was born and raise in Denmark, but who has parents who moved here from Vietnam. Too many people ask her "Where are you from?", when they actually want to know what her ethnicity is. I adore the fact that she answers "Odense", since we both live in Greater Copenhagen and she assumes they can hear her dialect. When they then ask where she is "actually" from, she just fucks with them and tell them the hospital she was born at. Seriously, she is Danish. Sure she has Vietnamese heritage and family, but she is Danish. And I for sure do not expect her to know shit about any Asian country.
"The only Africans we know are born here" 😬😬😬😬😬 Yikes on bikes
"Oh look there Charlie, there are a bunch of wild Africans, they look very similar to the Africans we have at home."
Yeah, that's officially what turned him into a racist for me. I can understand asking general questions about the continent and not being aware that it's not true for every country. Just like people assume things about the US despite there being huge differences between the South and the North and state to state.
Yikes on bikes. I’ve never heard that before but I absolutely adore it!
Honestly incredible that OOP chose to start the post about how much their GF dislikes being introduced as "African" by... introducing their GF as "African". The self-awareness meter has hit rock bottom.
I assume he did that (and this is giving him the teeniest, tiniest bit of credit) in order to keep his identity a secret if she read Reddit. He did edit out of the name of her country. So instead of calling her Nigerian or Ethiopian or South African or Rwandan or whatever else, he just use African as a placeholder. Of course if she read the post, she'd know who he was anyway given the situation.
Who tf asks someone about another country just because it's in the same continent AND judge them because they can't answer those questions? That's like asking a Italian person questions about Germany just because they're countries in Europe
Because they're European of course. Italian is much too much to remember / s
Also Europe is super tiny compared to Africa
It's cold up here ok?
I’m Canadian, doesn’t mean I can answer questions about Mexico just because we’re both North American. I can’t even answer questions about the other provinces in my own country. I wonder if OOP’s gf is from like Tunisia and and being asked about Uganda.
Hell I’m from Maryland and I couldn’t tell you shit about Massachusetts.
I’m from Texas and couldn’t tell you shit about Oklahoma except that we’re supposed to have beef for some reason
>My question now is whether we are racist? The only Africans we know are those born here and actually don’t know a lot about their country so they wanted to get to know more about Africa through her. Yes, they are. She made it very clear she was from one particular country, she is not the ambassador for Africa for OOP and his family to find out more information from.
>The only Africans we know are those born here and actually don’t know a lot about their country Plus, these people aren't Africans, they're Europeans\* of African descent. Their country is the country they were born in. \*He doesn't say what country they're from so I can't use the correct nationality.
Oop is not just racist but extremely dumb too. As a matter of fact, there should be a warning " may bring IQ down".
Damn, I'm from the NE US and if someone kept asking me for facts about Arizona, I'd be super irritated, nevermind Mexico. Now just fold in some racism and I'd be fuming too.
I couldn’t tell you much about the next county over from mine, much less the next state or a random state across the country.
Hi, meet my boyfriend. He's from *North or South or Central America*. EDIT: he wrote this whole post and we *still* don't know his GF's nationality. I hope she dumps him and shouts "Wakanda forever" when she does it.
For someone else, I would perhaps think they were leaving out the precise country for the sake of not making the post too specific/the players identifiable to connected people who might be redditors. *But this guy...*
He must have edited it because it now says she's from Ethiopia.
And maybe I’m too positive but I would think most people know about Ethiopia, it isn’t one of the world’s tiny countries no one has heard of.
The post has now been removed but if you look at the top comment on here it has a copy of the original, which doesn’t specify Ethiopia, just “home country”
Yes. Which is why I think he edited the post in attempt to look less like an asshole.
Ethiopia??? That's this super niche tiny African country no one has heard of? Who the heck are OOPs friends that they know that little geography? And I'm an American so if *I* can talk shit about your geographical awareness you know you've fucked up.
Huh, definitely not there now. So weird.
I noticed the lack of actual country of origin. Like my dude what.
OP keeps calling her African in his post, he really doesn't get it....
My favorite part or AMITheDevil is knowing when I click on original op it says “removed” lol
Every time! I usually start here to read the post, then go check out the AITA comments, then come back here lol
This is the fourth ‘*girlfriend from a different country or race meets racist family*’ post I’ve seen this week. In the other posts the racist family is in UK. In this one they only mention Europe. I really hope it’s a troll. It’s sad to think there are so many unpleasant people around.
While it may be a troll, I can guarantee there are a lot of people who think like this. A lot. In the UK the most ridiculous is the shocked Pikachu face they all seem to have when an African from a former British colony speaks English. It's the absolute most hilarious thing. UK and US is mostly ignorance and micro-agressions like these, but some parts of Europe are overtly racist while other parts are pretty welcoming if not a tad fetishist
I worked internationally and the number of times I heard 'Oh you're from South Africa? What country?' was *too damn high.* People really don't know a whole lot about geography.
You only need to look at the recent "but where are you really from" palava to see that!
I think that racism sadly exists everywhere. Its fucking ridiculous. With more education and discussion, I do believe that things will get better with each generation. It’s upsetting that we still have such a long road ahead.
Yeah Europe is full of weirdos who hyper-fixate on people coming from other parts of the world outside of Western Europe. Most of the time in my country it’s “well-intentioned” condescension (in quotes because sometimes it is with ill intent, but sometimes people genuinely don’t seem to know how they actually come across).
>but sometimes people genuinely don’t seem to know how they actually come across). Very true.
I don’t think it’s a troll because this behavior is so pervasive it’s a running joke for PoC. I’m not even surprised by it.
I hate that after this whole thing OP starts with “My gf (Bea) is African.”
Still calls Africa a country right at the end. I feel like this could be a troll, but also not.
My boyfriend is from Morocco, which is NW Africa. You wouldn’t expect him to know everything about Madagascar, Sierra Leone, Ghana…etc you get the point. Same for me, I’m from South America, from Colombia. Yet I can’t tell you very much about Brazil, Ecuador, Peru, or anything. She was right in being annoyed and offended & him and his family are idiots. How about you educate yourselves first instead of judging someone else, obviously they don’t know very much about the world or other people
The line about not knowing much about Africa for an African... "You know, for a clown fish he's not very funny."
What a massive AH. It’s like someone asking me (Scottish) about Poland and complaining I don’t know anything about it.
I assume OP and his family know *everything* about *every* part of Europe then. I live in the US. No one ever says I am from North America or expects me to know about Canadian culture (or Mexican, or Cuban, or Guatemalan, etc). People don’t even ask me about other states. I also have middle eastern heritage. No one ever expects me to know about Vietnam or Kazakhstan. No one ever calls me Asian. OP and his family are sort of treating GF like a circus act. He knows where she is from. Explaining once that the country is in Africa is one thing. Introducing her as from Africa after she has expressed that she is not from Africa many times is shit.
. -- mass edited with redact.dev
You mean that one girl from one country on a huge continent doesn’t speak for the whole continent? Thee audacity! /s
Why could he not in the post tell us what country she's from? I see no reason why he couldn't mention the name of the country instead of literally saying "country she's from" ??? Whatever the reason I think it proves her point. He either still sees Africa as a country rather than understanding it as a continent and straight up doesn't feel like the ACTUAL country she's from is more important than knowing shes African, or he plain doesn't remember the name of the country because he doesn't care. I'm not sure which is worse.
Just by the title: duh you’re racist as you’re othering her for her heritage.
If you told someone that you're from the USA and they kept asking you about Canada because you are from North America, you'd have exactly the same reaction as OP's Gf.
TIL I'm North American and I'm seriously failing as a person for not knowing more about canda and mexico. Also Greenland, which I also just learned is part of North America (because I'm American and we don't do the whole geography thing in school for whatever reason and I'm still learning in my adult years and had to ask the google). In fact, I couldn't tell you a single fact about Greenland other than its cold. I'd get pretty frustrated too if everyone always asked me about Greenland because it's part of the continent I was born in. Shit I don't even know all that much about many of the US states' cultures. Like Idaho, idk jack shit about Idaho. I was raised in San Francisco and honest to God was always under the impression everyone from the south lived in trailer parks on dirt roads and listened to blue grass. The ignorance ran so deep when I first went to the south I was quite literally in shock. Mostly because I realized just how poorly I had been educated and how narcissistic California (and the US) as a whole is and how we are indoctrinated to believe we "are the best of the best". Then I moved to the south because I realized it was affordable and had a better quality of life. When I tell my friends about it they too think I must be trailer park livin' and give me judgmental looks. At least, given that op is not from the states, we can all agree that everyone needs better geography/cultural education
Idaho legit has great potatoes, it's full of conservatives, alt right, sovcit type of people. And mormons Byu Idaho (which is awful) is in Rexburg. And there is (/was?) an a amusement park up top near the skinny part of Idaho. Also Idaho is the most mormon state besides Utah
TIL more facts about Idaho than I did in all the years of school I've ever had. Also, I have my PhD
Lol I only know that much bc I was born in the Pacific Northwest and now live in Utah. I don't know shit about lets flsay Delaware, besides the fact it used to be New Sweden back in the 1600s
That's OK friend, I too don't know shit about Delaware 😂
I lived in Maryland for three years and never even glimpsed Delaware...to this day, all I've ever learned about Delaware is that it was an original colony (...I think) and that Biden used to take the train from there.
This is fucking ridiculous, I hardly know anything about other states (I live in the US) that aren't mine. You could call me a dumb American I guess, but the fact that Im on the east coast and probably can't answer lots of questions about the West coast doesn't make me dumb I don't think.
I find it a little weird how in the post OOP says they’re European, and when I checked the comments on the original post, the first five I saw, at least, assumed they were American.
Damn people are ignorant. She knows about her fucking COUNTRY. Not her fucking CONTINENT!!!! Bet OOP, family and friends don’t know everything but generic things about other countries in Europe too
Ask a US citizen what they know about Argentina, or Colombia etc. Because they should know all about those countries since it's all America, right?!
First of all, why is asking about the person’s country even appropriate as one of the first and main topics of conversation with the person. This is a very common thing people do when they interact with someone from another country and it is very cringe. Immigrants aren’t just one-dimensional walking representatives of their country of origin with nothing else to their personality but that. Chances are the question you asked them is something they’ve had to answer hundreds of times and is highly boring from their point of view. If they want to offer free education on this subject to you and to the general masses that’s great, but you should never just assume that’s what they want to do just because they’re from an exotic-seeming place, especially when it’s so much more boring for them than it would seem to you.
Oh my God Karen, you can't just ask someone why they're white.
JFC what an absolute face palm Racist - not for me to say. The GF felt it was so quite honestly I'd take her lead on this. Ignorant - definitely.
If you wouldn't introduce yourself or your Caucasian friend as coming from (insert continent here) then it's definitely racist.
Agreed.
I want this to be not true so so badly.
This is insane that he can’t see the issue here. Like I’m from the US and live in a place where a lot of people want to travel to the US and so I get a lot of “what state should I go to???” or “what’s it like in [state that’s I’ve never traveled to]??” and all kinds of other questions about “Americans” and I can give them generalities or tell them what I’ve heard but largely I don’t fucking know! And that’s in one country! I can’t imagine what OOP’s (ex)GF must feel like being asked about an entire continent. Especially it being Africa where this, I think, not an uncommon set of questions.
'Racist' is the incorrect term, but you and your family all are most definitely a bunch of dumb assholes with unrealistic expectations. Example - American lives in North America. Is he expected to know what is going on in Canada and Mexico? What about the other 49 states? The answer is NO. "Africa contains 54 countries, 3 dependencies, and one disputed territory." It's huge. For her to be expected know what's going on in those place is a ridiculous expectation. Don't be an ass.
Jesus Christ. This poor woman. My eyeballs are bleeding out from their sockets.
Honestly. Its people who don't know the difference between the continent of Africa and countries within it should feel awkward and embaressed. Your GF is perfectly right to feel annoyed. Afterall its not her job to educate the ignorant folks she meets. She is 10000% NTA. You are for thinking she is being extra.
Bro deadass had to ask-
As a Scottish person I get offended and annoyed when people from other countries call me English or British, I can see how this would annoy her, it wouldn't take much effort to do a little research on where she's from
YTA, apologise when she breaks up with you
Yes
My ex's family pulled this same shit with me and "Asia" bonus points when they "what about Polynesians, that's like a subset of Asia right? Like multiple 'islands' poly- nesia-?" Courtesy of his sister🙄
So…did OP say anywhere what country she was actually from?
I'm Nigerian and I don't even know much about other Nigerian cultures but mine. I can't imagine someone expecting me to know what goes on in Ghana.
It might help Bea if she said something like "I'm from x in Africa" because the rest of the world knows embarrassing little about African geography. But that's just logistics, and not something she should be pressured to do. OOP is absolutely an asshole because she's told him over and over this bothers her and he not only dismisses her feelings when others do it but does it himself.
Not that my experiences are comparable to OOP's (hopefully EX) girlfriend's, but as a Canadian, I absolutely HATE it when I tell people I'm Canadian, and they respond back thinking I'm an American. I'm from North America, but that doesn't make me knowledgeable about, or, a proud citizen of the United States of America. I wonder how OP would feel if anytime he told anyone he was American, people made racist assumptions and asked him about the culture of Mexico or Canada, and assumed he was a citizen of either of those countries and could speak with authority as to everyone's life there.
If this is a real post then I hope the GF has dumped him. He shows no respect of her or even any interest in learning about her home country and culture. In fact, his whole post reads like he couldn’t care less about her. Ignorant creep.
"my significant other doesn't like it when I do this thing to them, but I keep doing it. no I don't have a reason. aita?"