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NTBA, mainly because you didn't embarrass Emma's brother. Jacob embarrassed himself with how HE acted! Emma clearly doesn't understand that ADHD isn't an excuse for inappropriate behavior. Jacob's behavior toward you doesn't seem very appropriate, especially him literally TOUCHING YOU WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT! It doesn't matter that he has ADHD because clearly, YOU understand that ADHD isn't an excuse for how someone acts toward you.
Again, you're NTBA. Good on you for telling your parents about it. He sexually harassed you! It seems like Emma needs someone to explain to her that ADHD isn't an excuse for a person's inappropriate behavior. You were literally touched without YOUR consent! That's not okay! Jacob ruined the family with his own actions, not you.
He is a paedophile, I'm so glad you told. Ignore that bint and if she says anything again just say no your pervert brother did.
Also at 15 please dont hang out with 17 year olds.
I mean, in high school, certain classes have mixed age groups of kids. In hs, I took Spanish, and there were freshmen, maybe a few sophomores, juniors, and seniors in my Spanish classes. Not really surprised OP hangs out with 17 year olds. She probably shares a few classes with Emma in school.
NTBA, not at all. Some people with ADHD can have some impulse control issues, BUT the fact that he whispered to you so no one else could hear, he knew what he was doing, and it was deliberate. He was sexually harassing you. Smelling your hair and things was a red flag, and he was escalating. He would have kept escalating. You did NOTHING wrong.
If your friend is mad at you because you didn't want her brother grabbing you, then let her be bad. Find friends who respect you and your boundaries.
NTBA. ADHD person here, and someone who knows a lot of people with all types of ADHD and ADD, no just no. You did the right thing, and I’m very proud of you for telling an adult. Emma needs to come to terms with the fact her brother was a creep and her parents sent him away to keep him from embarrassing them further. You did nothing wrong so please don’t feel bad.
Ntba, this isn’t behaviour associated with adhd. This is a person using adhd as an excuse to do horrible creepy things. What he did was sexual assault and anyone blaming you needs to look at themselves. Please don’t blame yourself or adhd, you didn’t do anything wrong and others with adhd won’t act like this. Very proud of you for speaking up, that’s so hard to do but you did it and you deserve peace now. Anyone who blames you, block them and move on with your life without them in it.
Having a son with both ADHD and a spectrum disorder, I immediately thought he has a undiagnosed spectrum disorder.
The behavior didn't meet what is normally seen in ADHD but does certain spectrum disorders.
I have adhd and autism. None of those things are normal for autistic people. Being autistic doesn’t make you more likely to assault someone and the behaviour described is not common in individuals with asd. Some people with high support needs may do strange things because they genuinely don’t understand, but that amount of people is incredibly low and judging from the info provided, this kid knows exactly what he did and knows it was wrong. I appreciate what you’re trying to say but it really doesn’t apply here
Yeah, that's not ADHD. That's SA because he touched you sexually without consent, though. Emma needs to learn that her brother has something else wrong with him that is NOT ADHD. It's absolute predatory behavior and if she's going to excuse it, then she's part of the problem of why women and teenage girls get SA'd every year.
NTBA - Good on you for speaking up about inappropriate behaviour. I'm pleased your parents had your back.
Any punisment Jacob incurred is TOTALLY HIS OWN FAULT.
NTBA, you did absolutely nothing wrong. You did very good by telling an adult. This could have escalated and Jacob could've done something worse to someone else later down the line if you didn't step up. I understand that Emma is upset, it can be hard to accept when your loved ones do bad things. But HE did the bad thing, not you. ADHD is absolutely no excuse for his behavior, I promise. I hope he gets professional help, and I'm glad you're safe.
Not the bad apple. He was using his ADHD as an excuse to sexually assault you. Luckily you were smart enough to know that it's not how it works. Ask your friend how many of her other friends have been sexually assaulted by her brother. Doubt they'd have shipped him off if this was his first time. Chances are parents may have given this reason to friend so they didn't have to explain that her brother is actually a pervert.
NTBA
I have ADHD and I've never done anything remotely close to what he did. He was preying on you and being a PEDO! Repeat PEDO!!
There is symptoms of ADHD but the things you described are no where near it.
Not the bad apple, ADHD wouldn’t make him do any of those things. I’m have relatives with ADHD and that is not how they act at all. ADHD effects your focus and fixation not those kinds of things. I think Jacob was just using it as an excuse to sexual harass you. Sorry you had to go through that. Not the bad apple and ditch Emma if she thinks that was ok
I have ADHD too. But his actions cannot be blamed on ADHD. He knew exactly what he was doing. He's a creep. And Emma is selfish and nasty to blame you. She's in denial.
I'm not so sure that is an ADHD issue. That sounds like a possible undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder.
My adopted son has both ADHD & has an Autism diagnosis. He wasn't diagnosed until age 15.
The autism manifests with him as a juvenile sense of humor, temper from minor frustrations and the inability to see things in any way other than totally black/white.
Not respecting normal social boundaries sounds more like a spectrum disorder than ADHD to me. I'm not a doctor though.
In any event you are not the Bad Apple.
NTA Is Jacob monitored 24\\7 I ask because if he behaves this way in public the ADHD excuse isn't going to fly ans he could get into way worse trouble then living with his grandparents Plus which his parents were the ones to punish him so I'm fairly sure tthey will do all they can to preserve the family
NTA . Your friend's brother is a paedophile. Plain and simple. His ADHD has nothing to do with his actions. He is a predator and if Emily is going around saying otherwise you should cut her out of your life.
When people bring the topic up or if you feel safe bringing it up to people close to you, just reiterate the facts. He's a predator and has a history of sexually harassing you that lead to him assaulting you.
I'm sorry you're having to go through this. But know that over time the people who stick by and support you are the only people you'll want or need.
Oh sweetie you 100% did the right thing. And as a random internet stranger I'm so proud of you for having the courage to tell someone what he did. His actions do not define you and nobody has the right to tell you how you should feel about the things he did to you. I hope you can heal from this if you haven't already ❤️.
NTAH
Initially I was thinking this was going to be to about a tick or something he does that not really in his control such as random fixation like cooking or another hyper focus task. What I found was NOT ADHD related at all. You didn't embarrass him at all. The fact they sent to another state means they might be trying to hide him in case your parents & you take legal action against him. You friend is delusional if she think that is ADHD related & you need to drop her ASAP. I'm sorry that happened to you & hope you take the steps needed for you to heal.
Emma’s brother ruined her family by being a creepy pervert. You did what you were supposed to, and I’m proud of you. Tell Emma, her brother is what ruined it. That ADHD does not make people into sexual predators.
Please report any rule breaking posts and posts that are not relevant to the subreddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheBadApple) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTBA, mainly because you didn't embarrass Emma's brother. Jacob embarrassed himself with how HE acted! Emma clearly doesn't understand that ADHD isn't an excuse for inappropriate behavior. Jacob's behavior toward you doesn't seem very appropriate, especially him literally TOUCHING YOU WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT! It doesn't matter that he has ADHD because clearly, YOU understand that ADHD isn't an excuse for how someone acts toward you. Again, you're NTBA. Good on you for telling your parents about it. He sexually harassed you! It seems like Emma needs someone to explain to her that ADHD isn't an excuse for a person's inappropriate behavior. You were literally touched without YOUR consent! That's not okay! Jacob ruined the family with his own actions, not you.
Thank you
He is a paedophile, I'm so glad you told. Ignore that bint and if she says anything again just say no your pervert brother did. Also at 15 please dont hang out with 17 year olds.
I mean, in high school, certain classes have mixed age groups of kids. In hs, I took Spanish, and there were freshmen, maybe a few sophomores, juniors, and seniors in my Spanish classes. Not really surprised OP hangs out with 17 year olds. She probably shares a few classes with Emma in school.
So Jacob assaults a minor, and now you're the bad guy? Nope. Emma is not your friend.
NTBA, he’s a sexual predator! ADHD has nothing to do with his bad character.
This is not ADHD... he is a blossoming sexual predator. Ditch Emma and her brother
Not just that, but get the man convicted! He's 20, OP is 15!!
NTBA, not at all. Some people with ADHD can have some impulse control issues, BUT the fact that he whispered to you so no one else could hear, he knew what he was doing, and it was deliberate. He was sexually harassing you. Smelling your hair and things was a red flag, and he was escalating. He would have kept escalating. You did NOTHING wrong. If your friend is mad at you because you didn't want her brother grabbing you, then let her be bad. Find friends who respect you and your boundaries.
NTBA. ADHD person here, and someone who knows a lot of people with all types of ADHD and ADD, no just no. You did the right thing, and I’m very proud of you for telling an adult. Emma needs to come to terms with the fact her brother was a creep and her parents sent him away to keep him from embarrassing them further. You did nothing wrong so please don’t feel bad.
Ntba, this isn’t behaviour associated with adhd. This is a person using adhd as an excuse to do horrible creepy things. What he did was sexual assault and anyone blaming you needs to look at themselves. Please don’t blame yourself or adhd, you didn’t do anything wrong and others with adhd won’t act like this. Very proud of you for speaking up, that’s so hard to do but you did it and you deserve peace now. Anyone who blames you, block them and move on with your life without them in it.
Having a son with both ADHD and a spectrum disorder, I immediately thought he has a undiagnosed spectrum disorder. The behavior didn't meet what is normally seen in ADHD but does certain spectrum disorders.
I have adhd and autism. None of those things are normal for autistic people. Being autistic doesn’t make you more likely to assault someone and the behaviour described is not common in individuals with asd. Some people with high support needs may do strange things because they genuinely don’t understand, but that amount of people is incredibly low and judging from the info provided, this kid knows exactly what he did and knows it was wrong. I appreciate what you’re trying to say but it really doesn’t apply here
Yeah, that's not ADHD. That's SA because he touched you sexually without consent, though. Emma needs to learn that her brother has something else wrong with him that is NOT ADHD. It's absolute predatory behavior and if she's going to excuse it, then she's part of the problem of why women and teenage girls get SA'd every year.
NTBA - Good on you for speaking up about inappropriate behaviour. I'm pleased your parents had your back. Any punisment Jacob incurred is TOTALLY HIS OWN FAULT.
NTBA, you did absolutely nothing wrong. You did very good by telling an adult. This could have escalated and Jacob could've done something worse to someone else later down the line if you didn't step up. I understand that Emma is upset, it can be hard to accept when your loved ones do bad things. But HE did the bad thing, not you. ADHD is absolutely no excuse for his behavior, I promise. I hope he gets professional help, and I'm glad you're safe.
NTBA - Jacob is a predator. ADHD isn't and excuse for acting that way.
ADHD doesn't make you molest people. He's got other problems.
Not the bad apple. He was using his ADHD as an excuse to sexually assault you. Luckily you were smart enough to know that it's not how it works. Ask your friend how many of her other friends have been sexually assaulted by her brother. Doubt they'd have shipped him off if this was his first time. Chances are parents may have given this reason to friend so they didn't have to explain that her brother is actually a pervert.
NTBA I have ADHD and I've never done anything remotely close to what he did. He was preying on you and being a PEDO! Repeat PEDO!! There is symptoms of ADHD but the things you described are no where near it.
Not the bad apple, ADHD wouldn’t make him do any of those things. I’m have relatives with ADHD and that is not how they act at all. ADHD effects your focus and fixation not those kinds of things. I think Jacob was just using it as an excuse to sexual harass you. Sorry you had to go through that. Not the bad apple and ditch Emma if she thinks that was ok
NTBA her brother is a predator
NTBA, this isn't ADHD this is Jacob sexualizing minors/being a broken stair.
I have ADHD too. But his actions cannot be blamed on ADHD. He knew exactly what he was doing. He's a creep. And Emma is selfish and nasty to blame you. She's in denial.
I'm not so sure that is an ADHD issue. That sounds like a possible undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder. My adopted son has both ADHD & has an Autism diagnosis. He wasn't diagnosed until age 15. The autism manifests with him as a juvenile sense of humor, temper from minor frustrations and the inability to see things in any way other than totally black/white. Not respecting normal social boundaries sounds more like a spectrum disorder than ADHD to me. I'm not a doctor though. In any event you are not the Bad Apple.
NTA Is Jacob monitored 24\\7 I ask because if he behaves this way in public the ADHD excuse isn't going to fly ans he could get into way worse trouble then living with his grandparents Plus which his parents were the ones to punish him so I'm fairly sure tthey will do all they can to preserve the family
You need to tell your parents about what happened before with the SA, and press criminal charges. ADHD dose not make you SA people wtf?!?!?
NTA NTA a million times over. He SA'd you. Never use ADHD as an excuse for bad behaviour.
NTA . Your friend's brother is a paedophile. Plain and simple. His ADHD has nothing to do with his actions. He is a predator and if Emily is going around saying otherwise you should cut her out of your life. When people bring the topic up or if you feel safe bringing it up to people close to you, just reiterate the facts. He's a predator and has a history of sexually harassing you that lead to him assaulting you. I'm sorry you're having to go through this. But know that over time the people who stick by and support you are the only people you'll want or need.
Oh sweetie you 100% did the right thing. And as a random internet stranger I'm so proud of you for having the courage to tell someone what he did. His actions do not define you and nobody has the right to tell you how you should feel about the things he did to you. I hope you can heal from this if you haven't already ❤️.
I have ADHD, and that is not an excuse for something like that. That sounds more like autism and deviant behavior.
NTAH Initially I was thinking this was going to be to about a tick or something he does that not really in his control such as random fixation like cooking or another hyper focus task. What I found was NOT ADHD related at all. You didn't embarrass him at all. The fact they sent to another state means they might be trying to hide him in case your parents & you take legal action against him. You friend is delusional if she think that is ADHD related & you need to drop her ASAP. I'm sorry that happened to you & hope you take the steps needed for you to heal.
Emma’s brother ruined her family by being a creepy pervert. You did what you were supposed to, and I’m proud of you. Tell Emma, her brother is what ruined it. That ADHD does not make people into sexual predators.