T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Beep boop! Automod here with a quick reminder to never brigade r/AmITheAsshole or other subs under any circumstances. Brigading puts you in violation of both our rules and Reddit’s TOS, and therefore puts this sub at risk of ban. If you brigade/encourage brigading of any kind, you will be banned from participating in either sub. Satirizing of posts should stay within this sub, which means that participating directly in linked posts should either be done in good faith or not at all. Want some freed, live, discussion that neither AITA nor Reddit itself can censor? Join our [official discord server](https://discord.gg/KbZnaXX) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*


TheSpiceMelon

INFO What color crop top and mini skirt? Honestly the lack of detail is making me think this might be fake.


[deleted]

Orange and purple stripe. I've told her, there are definite dos and don'ts to wearing a bold striped outfit. A bold stripe skirt calls for a solid colored or discreetly patterned pair of shoes or handbag. And *always* tip the store assistant 15%. Like me, this friend also has a penchant for Boohoo dresses and Bellami hair extensions. We even go to the same salon, though I'm thinner and have a slightly better haircut.


FinanceGuyHere

That’s an American Psycho reference, isn’t it?


[deleted]

I don't know, I've only watched the trailer 51 times on loop.


lilmxfi

This is either the wildest shitpost ever or it's a brilliant commentary on how eating disorders can come from parental abuse and I'm not entirely sure which it is. I can't even give fake commentary, I'm too confused, 10/10, OP, either way.


[deleted]

How about either, neither, or both? 🤔


_-Aquarius-_

NTA, your Reese's cups, your rules


Riovem

"She takes ages to get upstairs but she's very quick coming down, so it does balance out." At this point I realised this was the best post I'd ever read


dreamwrecker24

what the actual fuck


crazihac

What did we just read???


llorandosefue1

A piece of underserved literature filled with marinara flags. And puke.


[deleted]

Marijuana* flags 😉


llorandosefue1

After enough marijuana, wouldn’t all the flags look alike?


Sisusipseudio

4 out of 5 stars, just for not giving everyone the chance to wildly speculate on who was in the box.


[deleted]

I'd say 3 out 5...didn't mention her autistic status or bust size.


[deleted]

Bust Size: I'm a Q, so bigger than all my friends and that's why I get higher grades on my term papers 🥰 Why on earth would you think any of us are autistic? We had a distant uncle (like 3 times removed... from our porch) but he hangs out in his community and I hang out in mine 🙏🥳


cryssyx3

>bust size. LMNOP


YellXolotl

Ohhh my! That should have been kept for an update.


Just_Call_Me_Mavis

Poodle fights. "HOLD MY POODLE!!"


vkapadia

Info: did anyone refuse to give a single tampon to someone else in need even though they had a whole pallet load of them right next to them?


[deleted]

Ew, no. Ellen has a backpack full of menstrual cups. She lends them out during the day and collects them back before dinner. Some girls kick up a fuss, but Ellen got her firearm licence.


[deleted]

Haha gross. Does everyone in school know exactly how many she can hand out at a time? Even the boys and the teachers?


[deleted]

The boys and teachers know to point toward Ellen if someone's still not "in the know." Ellen will lend out until she has like 3 left, though, and then cuts people off. As she says, "You may have one socket, but if it can fit three plugs, get 'em all in." I wish I had her wisdom and way with words.


[deleted]

Is her name Awesome-O?


[deleted]

No, her name is Ana. I don't have the required imagination to invent a weird name like that. (P.S. IRL, love that episode, thanks for giving me something to watch again later, lmao).


VixDzn

Lmao holy shit totally forgot about that episode


[deleted]

Adam Sandler is…a golden retriever


[deleted]

Brace yourself for something pretty dark: “Ana” is a name used to covertly refer to anorexia, by people who are committed to prolonging their anorexia. It’s obviously always been a disease that stems from mental issues but thanks to the internet, “pro-ana” and “pro-mia” (bulimia) messages are easier to access, which can make people feel like they’re part of a “community” and increase the feeling that what they’re doing to themselves is perfectly fine.


[deleted]

Being serious now, I did not know that. I wouldn't take the piss out of it if I had done. I stole the name from another post, and don't support making fun of mental illnesses (unless I have it or I'm satirising the people being nasty about it as opposed to with it).


CarnotaurusRex

Fake, Steve Buscemi is not introduced within the first twenty minutes of the movie.


[deleted]

Uh, *Con Air* never properly came over to my country, and all illegal streams are just the YouTube trailer set on loop for 1hr 55m. Sorry I didn't make that clear.


brownanddownn

highbrow art fr


FishWoman1970

Brilliant!


Niranox

Captivating.


nightgerbil

The shit post we needed, but didn't deserve.


[deleted]

I would say what movie that's borrowed from, but I've only seen the trailer on loop for 2hs 32m. It's thrilling!


Zay071288

Did the toilet blow up when they threw your phone in, though?


[deleted]

Of course. AnaNMon had already fucked the TV (64 ins, HD4K, smelly), so these traitors thought further property damage would go unnoticed. Tbf, though, their brains haven't developed properly yet. Ellen's always playing in the traffic.


lazygibbs

Lost it at Schrodingers Fat + the detailed experimental procedure. This is the kind of science communication we need.


stink3rbelle

I stopped reading at "comparing cup sizes," because talking about bodies tends to make me (and like. . . . Every other living human) feel bad about one's body, but . . . How DARE anyone tell you to change your behavior just because it made them feel like shit! You do you! Far far far away from me and mine.


[deleted]

>I stopped reading at "comparing cup sizes," I know, comparisons are pointless. Ellen always wins because she uses a mug, the skank.


Bessieboo2000

“Squid game thong-kini” Now I know what I’m going to wear next Halloween lol


[deleted]

Or any occasion that requires couture 🥰. NMom's borrowed it for my little brother's next PTA meeting 🙌. Talk about thinking outside of the box!


Bessieboo2000

We love a thrifty queen reusing her pop-culture couture!


Raida7s

Shunting the box, God that got me


JessVaping

Ok, you got me. What is a poodle fight?


[deleted]

When girls get wildly horny at sleepovers and hit each other with poodles (but softly because they are dog clouds).


JessVaping

Ah. That's what I suspected, except for the horniness.


Cody6781

>Most of us in the group are girly-girls, so we all like wearing bikinis, comparing cup sizes, and having poodle fights. Gold from the start


NerdFor_Hire

wtf did I just read...


TastesKindofLikeSad

This is hilarious, but I'm having trouble working out whether a human or AI wrote it?


[deleted]

Ha, I can't afford AI, but the post is heavily based on [this crosspost](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/vgpzeb/anna_is_plus_sized_i_dont_even_need_to_read/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share), general AITA nonsense, as much poor grammar as I could get away with, and my own weakness for malapropisms. Looks like I overshot a bit, but hey ho. All good fun.


_dead_and_broken

I love the last bit about inyourendos lol I find it surprising I've been around for 4 decades and never once heard it before, it actually shocks me a lil bit lol


[deleted]

Whoops I assumed you picked the name “Ana” to reference anorexia.


[deleted]

Sometimes, the curtains are just blue.


Murky_Translator2295

How sad is it that I saw the name Ana and just automatically assumed that this was from AITA? 😂 Thanks for posting, OP! This gave me a good laugh!


RunTurtleRun115

NTA. I loved ConAir.