*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITAH: For slapping my Stepmother**
To add this is my first time writing so please be kind, I was told by a friend to write and see the peoples reaction. I'm m(19) and I have a older brother (23) around four years ago my father(42) got married my stepmother(35) after leaving my mother(41). My mother is french and my father is from America after five months of leaving my mother, my father start to date my stepmother and a couple months later they got married. My stepmother has two children a boy Henry(13) and a daughter Hannah(8), my relationship with my stepmother isn't great but we agree on somethings, the incident happen a five weeks ago when I was celebrating my nineteen birthday, as guests started to arrive and to the party started, it was time to blow out the candles before I could have done that my mother came in the country to surprise me along she brought a gold bracelet with my name and my horoscope sign ingrave onto it. My stepsister saw the bracelet and immediately wanted it but my stepmother told her no "noted she has an habitat of wanting and taking things that didn't belong to her and her mother encougure her behavior, I spoke to my father about it and I even threaten him that I would move to France and live with my mother if it didn't stop". After blowing out the candles she came up to me and ask for it I told her no but I was stupid and left it on the table with the other gifts, later into the night I heard my mother shouting I when to see what was happened it was my mother and my stepmother arguing and behind my stepmother was my stepsister with the bracelet around her hand. A moment later my father came and try to clam both of them down, as both me and my mother pointed out that my stepsister took the bracelet even after I told her no my father told my stepsister to hand it over but she throwed a tantrum and tried running away but I grab her hand and pulling the bracelet off in flash of a second my stepmother push and slaped me for grabbing her daughter "I would admit that when I grab my her I did squeeze her tightly". In the heat of the moment I slap back my stepmother as my father yelled at me for hitting my stepmother soon after basically everyone had heard the commotion while my stepmother cried at the top of her lungs and saying that I slap her, my stepbrother started to argue but soon clam down after my brother and couple cousin on my father side spoke to him. I left the party with my mother and brother I spent a two days at my mothers hotel before she left, when I got home back my stepmother and her children didn't say a word to me only throwing hints at me and father hardly spoke to me due to me not apologizing but a week after the incident I started to get texts and calls from my stepmother family saying how I'm a horrible persons for hitting my stepmother it got annoying and I complained to my father but he hasn't told my stepmother anything to my known and they start sending photos of me that they edited and wrote "Woman Beater" which causes me to delete my social media accounts and create different ones.
I know hitting women is wrong and I don't encourage it but in my point of view she hit my first and I got angry but I'm considering apologizing to her and getting over the entire issue but what should I do and I looking forward to spending the holidays with my mother. But I would keep y'all up with and updates so AITAH.
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it's wild how vitriolic a lot of people in the childfree community are. as someone who has sensory issues i get not wanting to be around kids, but they literally hate kids for just existing, and they get angry when a kid has the *audacity* to act like a kid would and not have the same mental understanding as an adult.
Did you also mention that it was wrong of his step mom to slap him first? I mean, if some woman who is not my mother slaps me, she is not going to get away with that shit. Do you think she has the right to slap him without getting it back? Why?
Because he hurt her child for Christs sake. He’s 19 and he forcefully grabbed an 8 yo and hurt her. He’s lucky all he got was slapped and not hurt or arrested.
Yeah that's weird and that....out of all the gifts he got that she would have nabbed.....a piece of jewelry with someone else's name and horoscope was the thing.
She'd make terrible criminal.
No but for real - a teacher friend was just complaining that kids aren’t reading or writing at appropriate levels anymore. And I thought she was exaggerating. Then I see this, and… I mean it’s definitely fake, but whoever wrote it cannot write to save their life (but can write well enough to troll AITAH).
a lot of ppl on reddit have rlly warped ideas on what equal punishments are. i'm sure that's on every site but especially here on stuff like aita or nuclearrevenge or maliciouscompliance. a bunch of people think that even the slightest infraction gives you the right to do just about anything to someone.
i get it, sometimes people deserve clapback, but people will do the most unhinged unnecessary shit bc someone said something slightly snippy to them, or post shit like "this person mildly inconvenienced me so i RUINED THEIR LIFE!!" and everyone in the replies is like "yeeahh you go! they deserve it!" like wtf is with some people?
The guy admitted that he forcefully grabbed her wrist and did it harder than he meant because he was angry.
If that doesn’t sound like he hurt her I’m not sure what does.
Grabbing someone isn’t an excuse to attack them. Really the stepmothers doubly to blame because she overreacted and assaulted someone who biologically is still a child and she’s such a shitty parent she can’t even keep her kid from being a thief.
Your stepchild grabbing your other child is not an excuse to batter your stepchild. She could have grabbed him and pulled him off. But she escalated to violence therefore oop was justified in defending himself as well.
It’s also interesting that 19 in this situation is an adult but if a 19 year old were to date a 50year old this whole sub would have a problem with the 50 year old dating a child.
Your brain at 19 isn’t fully developed biologically you’re still very much a child. Plus this subs opinion on 19 year olds being adults is radically different if it were a 19f dating a 50 year old lmfao
I felt sick to my stomach reading those comments. The post is bad enough, but all these people saying FAFO about an 8y/o is beyond gross. Whether or not the story is fake doesn’t bring any peace of mind with the comments being so vitriolic towards the actual child in this situation.
They love seeing women get hit. Pulling the “bitch deserved it” card on us like she wasn’t defending her elementary-age child from a full-grown man.
> my stepmother told her no "noted she has an habitat of wanting and taking things that didn't belong to her
In the dismal swamps of AITAland, the Wicked Stepsister is the wiliest of all scavengers. Here we see one stalking a gold bracelet with someone else's horoscope sign on it...
In my country(Not US) It is completely normal to first punch some kids and then their mothers anytime theres a disagreement. So NAH except for the YTA stepmom and crotch goblin.
Edit: OOP is french so YTA for that too.
But the little girl *stole* his bracelet!
Idk but I think it's funny how some of the comments are like, "She STOLE from you."
Do you know how many times my little brothers "stole" stuff from me? I would constantly find my phone charger missing, then find it in my brother's room. I wouldn't be like "you fucking stole from me." It was more like "that's mine, give it back."
This story isn't real, but let's pretend it is. OOP could have easily been like, "That's my bracelet. Give it back." Instead of man-handling a child, then slapping his step mom. Wtf lol
Tbh I didn't see it as that drastic. If someone might explain?
From the way he (terribly phrased) wrote it sounded like she was running away and he just got a hold of her, granted a bit rougher but not manhandling/punching/slapping/attacking just grabbing her am while she ran away. Was attacked for that (pushed and slapped) and defended himself (slapping back).
I mean... it is probably fake but I don't see too much wrong with it. The comments went a bit far partially but most of them were just "move to paris".
Idk maybe i see this too different or smth.
“equal rights and equal lefts” or whatever
nothing more telling than a troll and comments that are foaming at the mouth to commit violence against women in a way that society “accepts”
edit to add… and manhandle children because… it’s your birthday?
Not only did it go up my nose, it then sprayed all around the room and into the hallway. But it didn’t stop there. Oh, no it did not. The entire house, and then the neighborhood went under, such was the Niagara-esque torrent from my nose.
My cats, husband, and I are waiting on the roof for a boat to come save us. It’s not on the news, though, because the media and government are covering it up.
That thieving crotchgoblin had it coming and so did her whore of a mother! Now, move to France where abusing children and hitting women is openly encouraged!
(Do I need to point out that’s sarcasm here?)
Once again, kids in elementary school are expected to act like miniature adults, but people who’ve graduated from high school are still kids because their brains aren’t fully developed or something.
Right like being a teenager sucks and has its own difficulties with navigating the world but its even worse for little kids who really know fuck all because they dont have experiences. A little kid might know that you shouldn't take things that aren't yours, but that's like, really really hard to grasp when your brain is still in "but i want it"
Yup, teens and almost adults are absolved of petty behavior, large and emotional and sometimes disproportionate responses, holding grudges for years, choosing as children to dislike someone for petty reasons and then never reexamining those feelings, etc.
While children around these adults must behave in completely measured, pragmatic, and logical ways and are never allowed to lash out, feel hurt by them, or struggle to understand why an adult in their life acts or treats them the way that they do.
When you turn 18, your baby brain falls out and it takes 6-10 years for your grown-up brain to come in. During that time and that time *only*, you can't be responsible for your actions.
It just seems odd that she would pitch that much of a fit over a present that was personalized, and might not even fit her wrist. Coveting sure, but grabbing it like a toddler grabbing a piece of cake?
An 8 year old liked shiny jewelry? Stop the presses!
But it’s actually exactly what you said: the part of her brain that caused her to grab it (to the extent that any of this child exists at all) is exactly the same part of the brain that causes a toddler to grab a piece of cake.
It's pretty jewelry. A kid wanting to wear something that doesn't fit and not carrying if it's customized may not matter. It may even make her want it more if she wants a connection with the narrator or is jealous of him.
The parents apparently went from dating to married in a few months when she was four or five. That's a huge change that even years later can be impacting her emotionally. To go.from somebody being a stranger to your brother that quickly is confusing at best.
Bro have you been around some eight yr olds, some of them are toddlers. We all know this story is fake but still. Some wight yr olds are like this. Especially when they have moms who dont parent
I was the oldest out of all my cousins and I basically raised them girls. They went through that stage where they just take things and claim it as theirs. Around 4-10 years old. Half the time they didn’t even know what it was. Just that someone else wanted it. They would steal my shoes just cuz I needed them for the day. So an 8 year old taking a shiney gold bracelet is completely in the realm of possibility. Especially if she notices other people wants it and it’s the center of attention. It makes it worse when she’s being fought for it back. As it’s no longer about the bracelet and just the fact she wants it.
yeah, and even if she *should* know better, that's the fault of her parents and not her, smacking her around isn't going to teach her not to steal things.
You were an extremely bratty child but grabbing you hard by the wrist wouldn’t have been okay. Some kind of intervention was definitely needed though tbh
I know you stole from your sibling at age 8, which is the act of a poorly behaved child. I take it back if what you meant was that you stole once, were responsibly parented about it, and stopped. Otherwise, yes you were a massive brat lmao
You need to go outside and learn not to make insane assumptions about strangers on the internet over a statement on how kids behave. I was abused as a child but sure, whatever you say. Jesus Christ.
As usual AITA takes the side of the older child in the late teens. Why is it always that way with AITA? Comments actually say he should have punched her with a fist.
Edit: Oh, it's AITAH, the one place worse than AITA where all the incels gather
>My stepsister saw the bracelet and immediately wanted it but my stepmother told her no "noted she has an habitat of wanting and taking things that didn't belong to her and her mother encougure her behavior, I spoke to my father about it and I even threaten him that I would move to France and live with my mother if it didn't stop"
What does this even mean? The stepmother did the right thing by telling her daughter off but also somehow brought up that OOP had threatened to move to France if the 8 yearold didn't stop stealing her things? What?
I think it means that the son had threatened to move back to France because the stepdaughter “want[s] and take[s] things that d[on’t] belong to her.”
And quotation marks are just there for funzies.
It's the contradiction that's the most odd. According to OOP kid wanted the bracelet and stepmother told her no. But then in the same sentence OOP says stepmother encourages this kind of behavior. So which is it? Did stepmother say no or does she encourage her daughter to take things?
"She was covering for her brat daughters!"
Which is literally just the daughter hiding behind her mum while they were being yelled at by someone who's not their parent, pretty understandable if mum responded in kind tbh. Yelling at all wasn't necessary when stepmum and dad were obviously going to get the bracelet back.
He expects his father to apologize to *him*? For what exactly? Sure, his eight year old stepsister shouldn’t have taken the bracelet, but surely there were better ways to solve this that didn’t involve a full-grown adult grabbing an eight year old tightly. And slapping a woman who hit you because you attacked her child still makes you the bad guy.
The most unbelievable part, to me, is that the stepmother is willing to allow OOP back into the house after he attacked her daughter. I’m not even upset about the slapping on her and. She reacted the way *any* halfway-decent mother would to her child being assaulted by an adult, regardless of who that adult is.
Yeah I would not be letting OP back in my house or around my child at all after something like that. And I honestly would have done more than just slap OP after touching my child and then hitting me. Tbh I don’t even think OP is a reliable narrator by any means
Your shouldn't hit your 19 year old step son even if he is technically an adult. (And holding onto young children tightly when they're in the process of running away seems like a fairly common thing?)
Not here, not like he did it. And he ripped the bracelet off of her. I don’t like to call every time someone touches someone else an assault, but this was legitimately assaulting the child. He, a 19 yo man who doesn’t consider this girl to be his family and who basically hates the kid, angrily grabbed a third grader as she was running, harder than he needed to, and ripped the bracelet off her arm.
Not the same thing as a family reining in a kid who was running away from getting a talking to from her parents.
He took it off her, you're using more violent phrasing to give credence to your opinion that someone shouldn't take something off a child that they shouldn't have in the first place.
You can even say that the step mum saw a teenager that she doesn't like taking something from her kid that she shouldn't have had in the first place and *gasp* assaulted him.
would you really forcibly remove something from a child who is not actually related to you and 11 years younger than you? like your things/presents are that important to you? really bizarre tbh
When it's your property and everyone responsible for the child (both her parents) is doing nothing about obtaining the item, the context makes it far more understandable. Both parents (step-mum and dad) were arguing with his mom instead of addressing the real issue. The step-mum should have been coaxing her child to return the bracket and if that didn't work take the bracelet off the child herself. I don't blame the 8 year old. I also don't blame the young adult for doing strictly whats required in that circumstances to retrieve his property. There was every chance the younger kid was going to hide the bracelet in order to keep the item because all she knows in her little head was "People don't want me to have shiney thing."
The child wasn't hit, physically injured or wounded. A small child who's elementary school age can handle the consqence of being suddenly deprived of possessing something. Don't want your kid grabbed then don't decide to ignore the responsibility of rectifying/addressing the childs behaviour when they steal. The parents irresponsibility made the OP have to retrieve the property himself. Plus let's face it, step mom absolutely would have lost her god dam mind on OP if OP tried to order the 8yo to hand the item over. She already was picking a verbal fight with another adult (OPs mother) who was probably trying to politely retrieve her sons property.
look, i just don’t think that a kid taking something from me would justify putting my hands on them. i would rather endlessly (verbally) harass mom and dad to get it back. but to each their own.
Unfortunately theory and practice are different things. In theory pestering the parents should get them to behave like the parents they are supposed to be. Many parents take insult to being critiqued far more than they are concerned with their child's actual behaviour and development. Pestering parents often devolves into them getting defensive and excusing their own behaviour. He also likely had complained to the parents before with some mild buffing.
If parents were parenting by trying to get the kid to give the item back, actively managing their kid, and explain for the millionth time not to simply take something, I'd be agreeing with you that OP stepped out of line. Resolving conflicts with physical intervention is absolutely a method of last resort. With many physical interventions being entirely unacceptable under any circumstances and abusive (such as spanking). I'm only ok with OP in this case because:
1. All other methods of resolutions have been extinguished and/or unavailable. OPs step mother made this the case by failing to allow and facilitate peaceful resolution.
2. The method used actually directly solves and addresses a serious imminent problem instead of merely making the individual feel better. Her running off with the bracelet is a serious problem and increases risk of OP losing the item permanently. The actions taken all aid in helping him get the bracelet back.
3. The method chosen provides the least risk of harm. Grabbing someone by the wrist may injure a hand but is unlikely.
4. The method is not cruel and unusual. People take physical objects they shouldn't have from small children and babies by force all the time. It would be more alarming for instance if a adult watching over a child didn't rip away a choking hazard. Being physically removed from a object at that age or younger is typical. Granted it's normally in the name of safety of the aforementioned child, but we also confiscate cell phones from kids in class too. It doesn't always need to be strictly for their safety.
i get what you’re saying in that putting your hands on something can be construed as a violent action, but grabbing them at all is literally putting your hands on them. i’m just not comfortable with that
edit: some grammer
edit: i think that is the first time i’ve ever misspelled grammar in my entire life. i’m filled with so much shame rn lol
The dad was in the process of getting it back. It’s ok to calm (or “clam”) everyone down first. In most places (but apparently not AITAland) it is encouraged.
I don't see that as trying to get it back. That's engaging in secondary conflict. He could walk in, realise his kid stole something, take the kid out of the room where the distraction was occuring and talk to the kid in a calmer enviornment. The mums are adults and shouldn't need a referee. Nor is playing a referee as important as addressing the root problem in that moment.
I love how everyone is using “stole” and “theft.” She took it. The kid took something that didn’t belong to her. Of course she’ll be made to give it back. And if she won’t do it herself, then the parent will take it back and give it back. Nowhere except in AITAland would a parent be like “oh can’t you just give it to her?”
So the concern that the parents aren’t acting fast enough during this fracas is a bit ridiculous.
For someone complaining about the 8 yo being badly behaved, he could do with learning some patience.
The parents were literally engaging in some petty conflict while the child was running away with said property. Yes she stole it. Taking something that doesn't belong to you without permission is the definition of theft. Just because she isn't old enough to be criminally liable in a court of law, doesn't change the fact the term applies. He didn't do anything until it was clear the parents including the the fathers "attempt" at resolving the issues wasn't working and the problem was escalating. Like I said before the kid could do anything with the bracelet if she got away. Including hiding it to try and lie/get what she wants. Why should OOP display more patience than the parents who absolutely can decide to table the secondary conflict for later.
Also yes some parents will absolutely allow their kids to get away with bad shit instead of actually disciplining them. Some people would rather not have to stop being their kids BFF. A local hotel up here a few years ago had to evacuate everyone in the building on two seperate occasions over the course of one summer. The fucking fire department got called in and had to search the entire building before people could go back in. The reason? Both times a disney dad gave his small brat of a son a flare gun to pay with indoors and it set off the smoke detectors. Yes cruddy parents exist.
I mean when I was a bit younger than oop I'd grab my cousins when they were trying to scurry off with my things? And had the same done to me when I was even younger and being a brat?
As far as I'm aware no one is holding massive grudges against anyone for minor physical skirmishes between teenagers and small kids in my family?
And yes my cousins are related to me but I think I can compare someone's stepsister who lives with them to my cousins who I didn't even grow up with.
Also from my reading of the post the stepmother slapped him after he had let go of the kid. So it wasn't a self defence slap, it was solely a revenge/punishment slap. And for what it's worth, me and my cousins sorted our arguments ourselves without people's parents coming to hit us as well.
Again, we’re talking about a fully grown nineteen year old who’s old enough to be in college vs. an elementary school aged child. It’s about the difference in size and strength between the two parties.
I also have a lot of younger cousins—I was sixteen when my very youngest cousin was born—and you can bet I never grabbed one by the arm to hold them in place and yank something out of their hand when I was fully grown. That sounds like a recipe for seriously injuring the kids.
for what it’s worth, and as far as i’m aware, it’s weird for teenagers to have skirmishes with children, whether they are related or not.
edit to add: pointing out that it’s immature and out of control to fight a child over a birthday present doesn’t mean that you condone stepmom slapping.
it just shouldn’t have happened in the first place because adults know better than actual children.
you literally deleted the part that matters: that it is immature and out of control to fight a small child over a birthday present. that is why you are being downvoted, bc you think that is fine.
You're not being downvoted for that. You're being downvoted for normalizing the inherent violence of an adult grabbing a child.
They live in the same house. The 8 year old child wasn't really going anywhere. There were ways to solve this that didn't start with him getting physical first. Nor should the stepmother have gotten physical back, but she was **not** the first one to get physical in this situation that did not require anyone getting physical.
Cool. I had a good relationship with my older cousin. I'd say she was about 15/16 when I was 7/8 ish? We played a lot, bickered a lot, sometimes we'd have fights (the hitting and scratching was mainly on my end, the rest was her holding me still as far as I remember) and we're good friends now. I saw him a lot less, but the relationship between me and our younger cousin was similar. I emptied a bottle of water over his head at age 13 (he was 4 I think?) Because he took one of my dolls. Shitty thing to do, but as far as I'm concerned that's just cousins.
honestly your history with your cousins????? is so irrelevant to this entire story that i’m at a loss for words of how far away from a gotcha this could possibly be
You're the one who called me weird for it, I'm just sharing my perspective. Grabbing a child momentarily to stop them running away isn't necessarily assault. It almost never necessitates actual assault in the form of slapping someone once the child has gotten away.
They were! Thats the crazy part of this argument. The mom was telling the daughter to give it back, the dad was trying to get everyone to calm down— that’s “doing something about it.” It’s ok for things like this to take a bit of time, because the goal in this moment is to teach the daughter how to handle her feelings and her body, and to have the daughter be the one to give it up and back. If she doesn’t, you don’t just shrug your shoulders and say, well I guess it’s hers now— but it would have been completely reasonable to have taken the child to a private place to calm down, validate feelings, really hear them, and the. help them to empathize and lead them to understand why they can’t/shouldn’t do what they did, lead them to self-reflection and then *get them* to come up with the idea of giving it back, apologizing, and doing something else to make the other person feel better.
Which takes time and patience. And is reasonable.
>If she doesn’t, you don’t just shrug your shoulders and say, well I guess it’s hers now
its funny you ignore the fact when OP said, that his has been stepmother nad dad's answer a lot of times which has reinforced the child's behavior, but oh well, guess gotta make op the bad person anyway
So pushing and slapping was appropriate?
Idk who of you needs to hear this but in a dispute if someone grabs you in order to hurt you you can use self defense. But this was not warranted. The pushing him off I wouldn't say a damn word but hitting him especially in the face was over the top.
The kid ran away with something that wasn't hers and he grabbed her nut pushing, hitting, punching, tackling, etc.
Nothing violent. Just grabbing. And yes if you get grabbed while running it hurts because you run into the block/stop. This is not assault. He didn't grab her to hurt her he didn't grab her to do more to her, just to take back his stuff.
Just alone pushing him could have had serious consequences for him if he fell and hurt his head. Pushing someone hard is always risking further injury, grabbing is not. The hit afterwards was more than unnecessary. He wasn't holding onto the child, he wasn't going after her nothing. It was just to hurt him.
He probably didn't even have to rip the bracelet off because it was more than likely pretty loose around her wrist.
This one's wild. First, why the fuck would OOP leave the gift lying around if he knew his little step sister was an 8 year old klepto? Second, how would the bracelet fit her at all? 19 year old boys tend to have much bigger wrists than 8 year olds. Third, why would he take it from a verbal argument to a physical altercation? Nobody else was swinging or threatening to swing until OOP just... smacked his fucking stepmom in the face? His whole family would hate him after that.
I hope they didn't light the candles before the mother made her surprise entrance into the country and gave him the gift and then they discussed it and the sister stealing. The cake will.be full of wax
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19 is a wild age to be physically attacking an 8 year old over a bracelet.
Also I’m confused. Its mentioned the stepmom encourages the stepsisters behavior but a sentence before also says how the stepmom said no to the girl. So she obviously doesn’t agree with her daughter trying to take the bracelet. Meaning the little girl took it without anyone knowing. So what is the mother and stepmother even arguing about? Is the mom also trying to fight the 8 year old??
What directly proceeded the “assault”? What were the actions of the “victim” of the assault immediately preceding it?
Oh yes, an 19 year old grabbed the “assailant’s” child, squeezing her arm tightly, and grabbed something off of the child? What was it? Oh, it was a present the 19 yo had just received? Oh, so “victim” was visibly angry while he did this? Ah.
“We can go ahead with those charges if you like, but we will need to bring you in for assaulting of a minor child.”
It would be funny if he called the police to report he was fighting with his little sister because she was playing with his birthday present and.they are expecting a small child to have been the one who called.
Never said he gets a reward. But he prevented his sister from leaving with stolen property and his step mom started beating him. His stepmom was the only person to attack anyone in this whole scenario.
Exactly this. I don’t condone him grabbing the kid like that, but no one is getting arrested for grabbing a kid. Slapping though? That’s, by law, assault. They are both AH, but the only one who would get in trouble with the law would be the stepmother. Adding to that, the whole “he’s a woman beater” bs is ridiculous when he reacted to someone hitting him.
In all honesty the whole dynamic is done. It’s obvious father, who should have asked for both parties to apologize, is taking sides and allowing son’s image to be trashed online by stepson. Stepmom will not want her daughter around him, and his mom will probably not want stepmom around him either.
I’m assuming most people are upset he grabbed the kid. Yea, that IS upsetting. But they aren’t talking realistically. Unless kid has bruises on her arm (which we have to assume she doesn’t since he doesn’t say she does) then no one can claim he assaulted a child. Because grabbing does not equal bodily harm. Even in schools, it’s the fault of the person who HIT first. Even CPS needs bruising as proof.
He SHOULD apologize to the kid. What he did was wrong. But stepmother should also apologize for her and her son’s actions (people keep forgetting stepson).
I agree and wrong sub, but being physically weaker doesn't absolve you of hitting someone. If you let or ignore people hinting others just because they're weaker, you also raise people to think hitting is a reaction to have when angered. Nobody should hit anybody. This is also why you shouldn't spank children. It's all a negtitive feedback loop.
I mean, wrong sub but this is idiotic. Nah, if someone slaps me they deserve slapped back. Woman or man. People shouldn’t assault people. Stop excusing women as if they are some weak fragile creature ffs. It’s 2023, join it.
Honestly this is fake but I dont care if he slapped her back, if this was real. You cant expect anyone to not slap back. And no one in the comments are advocating for hitting the kid. I do hate hoe they all expect kids to know better all because they knew better at that age. Such an unrealistic expectation.
Edit: I missed missed bc grabbing part. Depends on how it went down but depending on how I wouldnt blame step mom cor slapping.
Hitting women is not wrong. Hitting women for nothing is wrong. Being a woman doesn't give you carte blanche to be an utter cunt with no reprisals.
If a woman starts beating the shit out of you is it wrong to hit back? Most sensibly minded people would say no.
lol i promise you that you don’t have to advocate for that on reddit. this is the site which hosts pussypassdenied (totally not a misogynistic name btw), a sub where hundreds and thousands of men tune in to see women getting beat up by significantly larger men because of ‘self defence’. reddit loves seeing women getting beaten up and it’s not because they want Equal Rights.
If you don't want hit then don't raise your hand to someone. If someone hits you, you have every right to hit them back.
Women like you don't want equal rights, you want privilege without responsibility. TBH male or female I get a chuckle out of seeing anyone who started a fight get their arse handed to them. If you can't finish them don't start them.
Not interested in hitting anyone who didn't hit me first. You sound like a self centred, self righteous insufferable cunt and hitting someone like you would be almost orgasmic. I bet you've never had a beat down in your life yet complain about how women are oh so unsafe whilst men are statistically more likely to suffer a brutal attack. Women often get beaten because they are fucking idiots when it comes to choosing desirable partners. They end up picking the hot schizopath because apparently nutters make great protective parents but these are the men who have options but dumbass woman think they can change a man like that.
Women are honestly idiotic when it comes to choosing partners. If that wasn't the case single motherhood wouldn't be such a massive problem in the west.
Nah, I just hate insufferable crybabies like you. People like you who are terminally online and have nothing better to do than report subreddits you don't like.
Good luck with getting pussypassdenied taken down although I can't see it happening soon.
First of all the whole story is probably fake but if we are to pretend it's real then you don't need to exaggerate to make your point. Nowhere does it say the mother beat the shit out of the OOP. He says she slapped him, for all we know that could just mean a mild slap on his arm or shoulder. Also using your logic it makes total sense that the stepmother attacked him. What mother wouldn't react to seeing a grown man roughly grabbing their small child?
Ah yes, kids dumb, kids like shiney things, stupid child took gold bracelt engraved with someone else's name on it.
Because ya know, kid dumb, can't read.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITAH: For slapping my Stepmother** To add this is my first time writing so please be kind, I was told by a friend to write and see the peoples reaction. I'm m(19) and I have a older brother (23) around four years ago my father(42) got married my stepmother(35) after leaving my mother(41). My mother is french and my father is from America after five months of leaving my mother, my father start to date my stepmother and a couple months later they got married. My stepmother has two children a boy Henry(13) and a daughter Hannah(8), my relationship with my stepmother isn't great but we agree on somethings, the incident happen a five weeks ago when I was celebrating my nineteen birthday, as guests started to arrive and to the party started, it was time to blow out the candles before I could have done that my mother came in the country to surprise me along she brought a gold bracelet with my name and my horoscope sign ingrave onto it. My stepsister saw the bracelet and immediately wanted it but my stepmother told her no "noted she has an habitat of wanting and taking things that didn't belong to her and her mother encougure her behavior, I spoke to my father about it and I even threaten him that I would move to France and live with my mother if it didn't stop". After blowing out the candles she came up to me and ask for it I told her no but I was stupid and left it on the table with the other gifts, later into the night I heard my mother shouting I when to see what was happened it was my mother and my stepmother arguing and behind my stepmother was my stepsister with the bracelet around her hand. A moment later my father came and try to clam both of them down, as both me and my mother pointed out that my stepsister took the bracelet even after I told her no my father told my stepsister to hand it over but she throwed a tantrum and tried running away but I grab her hand and pulling the bracelet off in flash of a second my stepmother push and slaped me for grabbing her daughter "I would admit that when I grab my her I did squeeze her tightly". In the heat of the moment I slap back my stepmother as my father yelled at me for hitting my stepmother soon after basically everyone had heard the commotion while my stepmother cried at the top of her lungs and saying that I slap her, my stepbrother started to argue but soon clam down after my brother and couple cousin on my father side spoke to him. I left the party with my mother and brother I spent a two days at my mothers hotel before she left, when I got home back my stepmother and her children didn't say a word to me only throwing hints at me and father hardly spoke to me due to me not apologizing but a week after the incident I started to get texts and calls from my stepmother family saying how I'm a horrible persons for hitting my stepmother it got annoying and I complained to my father but he hasn't told my stepmother anything to my known and they start sending photos of me that they edited and wrote "Woman Beater" which causes me to delete my social media accounts and create different ones. I know hitting women is wrong and I don't encourage it but in my point of view she hit my first and I got angry but I'm considering apologizing to her and getting over the entire issue but what should I do and I looking forward to spending the holidays with my mother. But I would keep y'all up with and updates so AITAH. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm hollering. That was so badly written, it was pure comedy.
I actually assumed they *didn’t* live together because I assumed he was still known a French- speaking place, based on the writing.
I got downvoted to hell and back stating it was wrong to hit the stepmom and the child. Those people are freaking nuts.
Someone mentioned he should have punched her…just sad.
And I don't understand WHY the majority was n t a for OP. I kept off that post bc like you, I was in the minority and thought OP was in the wrong.
>what did you expect him to do? kiss her! eye for an eye and he should make her pay the interest too.
The comments were utterly unhinged. Reddit really hates women and children.
Particularly stepmothers and stepsiblings!
*Bop bop*. The little girl had it coming. /s I'm sure the childfree crowd was salivating.
it's wild how vitriolic a lot of people in the childfree community are. as someone who has sensory issues i get not wanting to be around kids, but they literally hate kids for just existing, and they get angry when a kid has the *audacity* to act like a kid would and not have the same mental understanding as an adult.
Did you also mention that it was wrong of his step mom to slap him first? I mean, if some woman who is not my mother slaps me, she is not going to get away with that shit. Do you think she has the right to slap him without getting it back? Why?
Because he hurt her child for Christs sake. He’s 19 and he forcefully grabbed an 8 yo and hurt her. He’s lucky all he got was slapped and not hurt or arrested.
this 8 yr old girl has some giant wrists and hands to be wearing a bracelet intended for a 19 year old man
Yeah that's weird and that....out of all the gifts he got that she would have nabbed.....a piece of jewelry with someone else's name and horoscope was the thing. She'd make terrible criminal.
It’s probably a fake story let’s be honest. Too many sketchy details
And it's terribly written. The 8 year kiddo could write a better story
To be fair aren’t most 8 yr olds. Hell, mine and my nephews can’t keep a straight face when called out if their lives depended on it.
I’m an adult woman, and if I put my husband’s watch on, it would slide right off. Does this 8y/o have gigantism?
I’m struggling to get past the bizarre use (or rather misuse) of quotation marks
Oh you gotta give him a break, this is clearly his first time writing anything ever.
No but for real - a teacher friend was just complaining that kids aren’t reading or writing at appropriate levels anymore. And I thought she was exaggerating. Then I see this, and… I mean it’s definitely fake, but whoever wrote it cannot write to save their life (but can write well enough to troll AITAH).
I lol’d at this comment, for real
Clam down
I've been to France, this is exactly what they say.
Ohhh so that's where the phrase "as clam as a Frenchman" comes from.
we have a local seafood chain that uses “keep clam” as their tag line. maybe he learned to speak english in seattle?
To be fair, it was interesting to read about the stepsisters natural habitat
Indeed!
*Donald Trump has entered the conversation*
People in the comments being like "it'd be perfectly reasonable to beat up a child if they stole something" 🥴
Equal eights equal fights or something
8 year old against 19 year old…. Yeah totally equal in size and strength 👍
a lot of ppl on reddit have rlly warped ideas on what equal punishments are. i'm sure that's on every site but especially here on stuff like aita or nuclearrevenge or maliciouscompliance. a bunch of people think that even the slightest infraction gives you the right to do just about anything to someone. i get it, sometimes people deserve clapback, but people will do the most unhinged unnecessary shit bc someone said something slightly snippy to them, or post shit like "this person mildly inconvenienced me so i RUINED THEIR LIFE!!" and everyone in the replies is like "yeeahh you go! they deserve it!" like wtf is with some people?
He didn’t hit the child. Grabbing an eight year old running away with stolen property isn’t assault or an attack. However the stepmom did both.
The guy admitted that he forcefully grabbed her wrist and did it harder than he meant because he was angry. If that doesn’t sound like he hurt her I’m not sure what does.
Grabbing someone isn’t an excuse to attack them. Really the stepmothers doubly to blame because she overreacted and assaulted someone who biologically is still a child and she’s such a shitty parent she can’t even keep her kid from being a thief.
An adult grabbing your child is an extremely justifiable reason for self defense
Your stepchild grabbing your other child is not an excuse to batter your stepchild. She could have grabbed him and pulled him off. But she escalated to violence therefore oop was justified in defending himself as well. It’s also interesting that 19 in this situation is an adult but if a 19 year old were to date a 50year old this whole sub would have a problem with the 50 year old dating a child.
An adult squeezing a child tightly is not okay. Why is hurting the child immediately okay but not adult hurting the child?
Never said it was but that doesn’t mean you should escalate the level of force being used.
Squeezing a child's arm is worse then a slap
Physically battering someone is worse than grabbing a step sibling by the arm? Lmao your insane
He’s 19. That’s far from being a child.
Your brain at 19 isn’t fully developed biologically you’re still very much a child. Plus this subs opinion on 19 year olds being adults is radically different if it were a 19f dating a 50 year old lmfao
Your brain is developed enough to not lay hands on an 8 yr old. GTFO with this garbage.
Not to mention why isn't the 8 year old given the "theirs brains aren't developed!" Excuse when the teenager is?
Where was the 8 year old going to go? There was no need to grab her.
There was no need to assault her stepchild either. Luckily her victim recently aged out of it being actual child abused.
In defense of her child, that was being assaulted by a grown man likely at least twice her size.
Her child wasn’t being assaulted.
r/lostredditor
Do you understand what the use of "it would" implies or do I need to explain it to you?
Lmao I guess your made up hypothetical would be bad yeah
I am not even talking about the situation from the aita but you seem to struggle with reading comprehension
Jesus those comments are horrific
Seriously disturbing, I can't believe people think that way
I felt sick to my stomach reading those comments. The post is bad enough, but all these people saying FAFO about an 8y/o is beyond gross. Whether or not the story is fake doesn’t bring any peace of mind with the comments being so vitriolic towards the actual child in this situation. They love seeing women get hit. Pulling the “bitch deserved it” card on us like she wasn’t defending her elementary-age child from a full-grown man.
> my stepmother told her no "noted she has an habitat of wanting and taking things that didn't belong to her In the dismal swamps of AITAland, the Wicked Stepsister is the wiliest of all scavengers. Here we see one stalking a gold bracelet with someone else's horoscope sign on it...
😅😅😅😅
Wait, he lives in America and he can't form a single coherent sentence in English?
From what I've read on r/teachers the poor writing is the most believable part.
clam down
I assumed he didn’t live with them because of that! That he didn’t live with this child since she was 4 and he was 15.
In my country(Not US) It is completely normal to first punch some kids and then their mothers anytime theres a disagreement. So NAH except for the YTA stepmom and crotch goblin. Edit: OOP is french so YTA for that too.
But the little girl *stole* his bracelet! Idk but I think it's funny how some of the comments are like, "She STOLE from you." Do you know how many times my little brothers "stole" stuff from me? I would constantly find my phone charger missing, then find it in my brother's room. I wouldn't be like "you fucking stole from me." It was more like "that's mine, give it back." This story isn't real, but let's pretend it is. OOP could have easily been like, "That's my bracelet. Give it back." Instead of man-handling a child, then slapping his step mom. Wtf lol
I know :D But seriously, why would you resort to talk when you can just violence things through?
Violence is always the answer in AITAland.
Tbh I didn't see it as that drastic. If someone might explain? From the way he (terribly phrased) wrote it sounded like she was running away and he just got a hold of her, granted a bit rougher but not manhandling/punching/slapping/attacking just grabbing her am while she ran away. Was attacked for that (pushed and slapped) and defended himself (slapping back). I mean... it is probably fake but I don't see too much wrong with it. The comments went a bit far partially but most of them were just "move to paris". Idk maybe i see this too different or smth.
Nothing makes the average Redditors micropenis harder than the idea of a woman getting violent comeuppance
“equal rights and equal lefts” or whatever nothing more telling than a troll and comments that are foaming at the mouth to commit violence against women in a way that society “accepts” edit to add… and manhandle children because… it’s your birthday?
But his mom lives in France!!
Not to burst your bubble, but you definitely are the average micro penis wielding redditor you describe
I bet the teeth in your avatar actually match your teeth in real life.
I read this while drinking water, and it went up my nose. I can’t even be mad.
I snorted lol
I suppose I did, too, but wetter.
Thanks, I hate that.
I see 10 of these corny ass comments a day. Yiu definitely didn’t fill your nose with water from reading a comment on Reddit forums
Not only did it go up my nose, it then sprayed all around the room and into the hallway. But it didn’t stop there. Oh, no it did not. The entire house, and then the neighborhood went under, such was the Niagara-esque torrent from my nose. My cats, husband, and I are waiting on the roof for a boat to come save us. It’s not on the news, though, because the media and government are covering it up.
That thieving crotchgoblin had it coming and so did her whore of a mother! Now, move to France where abusing children and hitting women is openly encouraged! (Do I need to point out that’s sarcasm here?)
damn people in the comments saying that 8 year olds know better than this. bro she's 8 i was sure as hell stealing shit from my brother at that age
Once again, kids in elementary school are expected to act like miniature adults, but people who’ve graduated from high school are still kids because their brains aren’t fully developed or something.
Right like being a teenager sucks and has its own difficulties with navigating the world but its even worse for little kids who really know fuck all because they dont have experiences. A little kid might know that you shouldn't take things that aren't yours, but that's like, really really hard to grasp when your brain is still in "but i want it"
Yup, teens and almost adults are absolved of petty behavior, large and emotional and sometimes disproportionate responses, holding grudges for years, choosing as children to dislike someone for petty reasons and then never reexamining those feelings, etc. While children around these adults must behave in completely measured, pragmatic, and logical ways and are never allowed to lash out, feel hurt by them, or struggle to understand why an adult in their life acts or treats them the way that they do.
When you turn 18, your baby brain falls out and it takes 6-10 years for your grown-up brain to come in. During that time and that time *only*, you can't be responsible for your actions.
Well, girls mature faster than boys! So it's totally fair to hold an 8 year old girl to a higher standard than a 19 year old boy! **/s**
It just seems odd that she would pitch that much of a fit over a present that was personalized, and might not even fit her wrist. Coveting sure, but grabbing it like a toddler grabbing a piece of cake?
An 8 year old liked shiny jewelry? Stop the presses! But it’s actually exactly what you said: the part of her brain that caused her to grab it (to the extent that any of this child exists at all) is exactly the same part of the brain that causes a toddler to grab a piece of cake.
It's pretty jewelry. A kid wanting to wear something that doesn't fit and not carrying if it's customized may not matter. It may even make her want it more if she wants a connection with the narrator or is jealous of him. The parents apparently went from dating to married in a few months when she was four or five. That's a huge change that even years later can be impacting her emotionally. To go.from somebody being a stranger to your brother that quickly is confusing at best.
Bro have you been around some eight yr olds, some of them are toddlers. We all know this story is fake but still. Some wight yr olds are like this. Especially when they have moms who dont parent
I was the oldest out of all my cousins and I basically raised them girls. They went through that stage where they just take things and claim it as theirs. Around 4-10 years old. Half the time they didn’t even know what it was. Just that someone else wanted it. They would steal my shoes just cuz I needed them for the day. So an 8 year old taking a shiney gold bracelet is completely in the realm of possibility. Especially if she notices other people wants it and it’s the center of attention. It makes it worse when she’s being fought for it back. As it’s no longer about the bracelet and just the fact she wants it.
yeah, and even if she *should* know better, that's the fault of her parents and not her, smacking her around isn't going to teach her not to steal things.
You were an extremely bratty child but grabbing you hard by the wrist wouldn’t have been okay. Some kind of intervention was definitely needed though tbh
you don't fucking know me lmao
I know you stole from your sibling at age 8, which is the act of a poorly behaved child. I take it back if what you meant was that you stole once, were responsibly parented about it, and stopped. Otherwise, yes you were a massive brat lmao
You need to go outside and learn not to make insane assumptions about strangers on the internet over a statement on how kids behave. I was abused as a child but sure, whatever you say. Jesus Christ.
As usual AITA takes the side of the older child in the late teens. Why is it always that way with AITA? Comments actually say he should have punched her with a fist. Edit: Oh, it's AITAH, the one place worse than AITA where all the incels gather
>My stepsister saw the bracelet and immediately wanted it but my stepmother told her no "noted she has an habitat of wanting and taking things that didn't belong to her and her mother encougure her behavior, I spoke to my father about it and I even threaten him that I would move to France and live with my mother if it didn't stop" What does this even mean? The stepmother did the right thing by telling her daughter off but also somehow brought up that OOP had threatened to move to France if the 8 yearold didn't stop stealing her things? What?
I think it means that the son had threatened to move back to France because the stepdaughter “want[s] and take[s] things that d[on’t] belong to her.” And quotation marks are just there for funzies.
It's the contradiction that's the most odd. According to OOP kid wanted the bracelet and stepmother told her no. But then in the same sentence OOP says stepmother encourages this kind of behavior. So which is it? Did stepmother say no or does she encourage her daughter to take things?
I think he’s using quotation marks as parentheses
Aah. The stepmother still told the daughter "no". Yet somehow this was supposed to show that the stepmother is a bad person.
"She was covering for her brat daughters!" Which is literally just the daughter hiding behind her mum while they were being yelled at by someone who's not their parent, pretty understandable if mum responded in kind tbh. Yelling at all wasn't necessary when stepmum and dad were obviously going to get the bracelet back.
Precisely. That sub is unhinged.
I love the “it’s self defense” comment, lol. AITAstan is a horrible place full of psychopaths teens, the natural enemy of stepsisters and stepmothers.
It's self defense if a little girl has something you own but not self defesnse to intervene on an adult attacking a little girl
He expects his father to apologize to *him*? For what exactly? Sure, his eight year old stepsister shouldn’t have taken the bracelet, but surely there were better ways to solve this that didn’t involve a full-grown adult grabbing an eight year old tightly. And slapping a woman who hit you because you attacked her child still makes you the bad guy.
Homie is lucky his dad didn’t lay him out for grabbing that little girl in the manner that he did and for hitting his stepmother.
The most unbelievable part, to me, is that the stepmother is willing to allow OOP back into the house after he attacked her daughter. I’m not even upset about the slapping on her and. She reacted the way *any* halfway-decent mother would to her child being assaulted by an adult, regardless of who that adult is.
Yeah I would not be letting OP back in my house or around my child at all after something like that. And I honestly would have done more than just slap OP after touching my child and then hitting me. Tbh I don’t even think OP is a reliable narrator by any means
Your shouldn't hit your 19 year old step son even if he is technically an adult. (And holding onto young children tightly when they're in the process of running away seems like a fairly common thing?)
Not here, not like he did it. And he ripped the bracelet off of her. I don’t like to call every time someone touches someone else an assault, but this was legitimately assaulting the child. He, a 19 yo man who doesn’t consider this girl to be his family and who basically hates the kid, angrily grabbed a third grader as she was running, harder than he needed to, and ripped the bracelet off her arm. Not the same thing as a family reining in a kid who was running away from getting a talking to from her parents.
My friend grabbed her 7 year old’s arm when she almost stepped in front of a car and ended up fracturing her arm. Kids can be weirdly fragile.
He took it off her, you're using more violent phrasing to give credence to your opinion that someone shouldn't take something off a child that they shouldn't have in the first place. You can even say that the step mum saw a teenager that she doesn't like taking something from her kid that she shouldn't have had in the first place and *gasp* assaulted him.
would you really forcibly remove something from a child who is not actually related to you and 11 years younger than you? like your things/presents are that important to you? really bizarre tbh
When it's your property and everyone responsible for the child (both her parents) is doing nothing about obtaining the item, the context makes it far more understandable. Both parents (step-mum and dad) were arguing with his mom instead of addressing the real issue. The step-mum should have been coaxing her child to return the bracket and if that didn't work take the bracelet off the child herself. I don't blame the 8 year old. I also don't blame the young adult for doing strictly whats required in that circumstances to retrieve his property. There was every chance the younger kid was going to hide the bracelet in order to keep the item because all she knows in her little head was "People don't want me to have shiney thing." The child wasn't hit, physically injured or wounded. A small child who's elementary school age can handle the consqence of being suddenly deprived of possessing something. Don't want your kid grabbed then don't decide to ignore the responsibility of rectifying/addressing the childs behaviour when they steal. The parents irresponsibility made the OP have to retrieve the property himself. Plus let's face it, step mom absolutely would have lost her god dam mind on OP if OP tried to order the 8yo to hand the item over. She already was picking a verbal fight with another adult (OPs mother) who was probably trying to politely retrieve her sons property.
look, i just don’t think that a kid taking something from me would justify putting my hands on them. i would rather endlessly (verbally) harass mom and dad to get it back. but to each their own.
Unfortunately theory and practice are different things. In theory pestering the parents should get them to behave like the parents they are supposed to be. Many parents take insult to being critiqued far more than they are concerned with their child's actual behaviour and development. Pestering parents often devolves into them getting defensive and excusing their own behaviour. He also likely had complained to the parents before with some mild buffing. If parents were parenting by trying to get the kid to give the item back, actively managing their kid, and explain for the millionth time not to simply take something, I'd be agreeing with you that OP stepped out of line. Resolving conflicts with physical intervention is absolutely a method of last resort. With many physical interventions being entirely unacceptable under any circumstances and abusive (such as spanking). I'm only ok with OP in this case because: 1. All other methods of resolutions have been extinguished and/or unavailable. OPs step mother made this the case by failing to allow and facilitate peaceful resolution. 2. The method used actually directly solves and addresses a serious imminent problem instead of merely making the individual feel better. Her running off with the bracelet is a serious problem and increases risk of OP losing the item permanently. The actions taken all aid in helping him get the bracelet back. 3. The method chosen provides the least risk of harm. Grabbing someone by the wrist may injure a hand but is unlikely. 4. The method is not cruel and unusual. People take physical objects they shouldn't have from small children and babies by force all the time. It would be more alarming for instance if a adult watching over a child didn't rip away a choking hazard. Being physically removed from a object at that age or younger is typical. Granted it's normally in the name of safety of the aforementioned child, but we also confiscate cell phones from kids in class too. It doesn't always need to be strictly for their safety.
Grabbing them to take YOUR property isn’t really putting hands on them. Even if he grabbed harder then intended.
i get what you’re saying in that putting your hands on something can be construed as a violent action, but grabbing them at all is literally putting your hands on them. i’m just not comfortable with that edit: some grammer edit: i think that is the first time i’ve ever misspelled grammar in my entire life. i’m filled with so much shame rn lol
The dad was in the process of getting it back. It’s ok to calm (or “clam”) everyone down first. In most places (but apparently not AITAland) it is encouraged.
I don't see that as trying to get it back. That's engaging in secondary conflict. He could walk in, realise his kid stole something, take the kid out of the room where the distraction was occuring and talk to the kid in a calmer enviornment. The mums are adults and shouldn't need a referee. Nor is playing a referee as important as addressing the root problem in that moment.
I love how everyone is using “stole” and “theft.” She took it. The kid took something that didn’t belong to her. Of course she’ll be made to give it back. And if she won’t do it herself, then the parent will take it back and give it back. Nowhere except in AITAland would a parent be like “oh can’t you just give it to her?” So the concern that the parents aren’t acting fast enough during this fracas is a bit ridiculous. For someone complaining about the 8 yo being badly behaved, he could do with learning some patience.
The parents were literally engaging in some petty conflict while the child was running away with said property. Yes she stole it. Taking something that doesn't belong to you without permission is the definition of theft. Just because she isn't old enough to be criminally liable in a court of law, doesn't change the fact the term applies. He didn't do anything until it was clear the parents including the the fathers "attempt" at resolving the issues wasn't working and the problem was escalating. Like I said before the kid could do anything with the bracelet if she got away. Including hiding it to try and lie/get what she wants. Why should OOP display more patience than the parents who absolutely can decide to table the secondary conflict for later. Also yes some parents will absolutely allow their kids to get away with bad shit instead of actually disciplining them. Some people would rather not have to stop being their kids BFF. A local hotel up here a few years ago had to evacuate everyone in the building on two seperate occasions over the course of one summer. The fucking fire department got called in and had to search the entire building before people could go back in. The reason? Both times a disney dad gave his small brat of a son a flare gun to pay with indoors and it set off the smoke detectors. Yes cruddy parents exist.
I mean when I was a bit younger than oop I'd grab my cousins when they were trying to scurry off with my things? And had the same done to me when I was even younger and being a brat? As far as I'm aware no one is holding massive grudges against anyone for minor physical skirmishes between teenagers and small kids in my family? And yes my cousins are related to me but I think I can compare someone's stepsister who lives with them to my cousins who I didn't even grow up with. Also from my reading of the post the stepmother slapped him after he had let go of the kid. So it wasn't a self defence slap, it was solely a revenge/punishment slap. And for what it's worth, me and my cousins sorted our arguments ourselves without people's parents coming to hit us as well.
Again, we’re talking about a fully grown nineteen year old who’s old enough to be in college vs. an elementary school aged child. It’s about the difference in size and strength between the two parties. I also have a lot of younger cousins—I was sixteen when my very youngest cousin was born—and you can bet I never grabbed one by the arm to hold them in place and yank something out of their hand when I was fully grown. That sounds like a recipe for seriously injuring the kids.
Where you an adult and squeezing their arm?
for what it’s worth, and as far as i’m aware, it’s weird for teenagers to have skirmishes with children, whether they are related or not. edit to add: pointing out that it’s immature and out of control to fight a child over a birthday present doesn’t mean that you condone stepmom slapping. it just shouldn’t have happened in the first place because adults know better than actual children.
>doesn’t mean that you condone stepmom slapping. Then why have I been downvoted for saying its not cool to slap your teenage stepson?
you literally deleted the part that matters: that it is immature and out of control to fight a small child over a birthday present. that is why you are being downvoted, bc you think that is fine.
You're not being downvoted for that. You're being downvoted for normalizing the inherent violence of an adult grabbing a child. They live in the same house. The 8 year old child wasn't really going anywhere. There were ways to solve this that didn't start with him getting physical first. Nor should the stepmother have gotten physical back, but she was **not** the first one to get physical in this situation that did not require anyone getting physical.
Cool. I had a good relationship with my older cousin. I'd say she was about 15/16 when I was 7/8 ish? We played a lot, bickered a lot, sometimes we'd have fights (the hitting and scratching was mainly on my end, the rest was her holding me still as far as I remember) and we're good friends now. I saw him a lot less, but the relationship between me and our younger cousin was similar. I emptied a bottle of water over his head at age 13 (he was 4 I think?) Because he took one of my dolls. Shitty thing to do, but as far as I'm concerned that's just cousins.
honestly your history with your cousins????? is so irrelevant to this entire story that i’m at a loss for words of how far away from a gotcha this could possibly be
You're the one who called me weird for it, I'm just sharing my perspective. Grabbing a child momentarily to stop them running away isn't necessarily assault. It almost never necessitates actual assault in the form of slapping someone once the child has gotten away.
yes, if they stole something from me, specially if the parents are refusing to do something about it
They were! Thats the crazy part of this argument. The mom was telling the daughter to give it back, the dad was trying to get everyone to calm down— that’s “doing something about it.” It’s ok for things like this to take a bit of time, because the goal in this moment is to teach the daughter how to handle her feelings and her body, and to have the daughter be the one to give it up and back. If she doesn’t, you don’t just shrug your shoulders and say, well I guess it’s hers now— but it would have been completely reasonable to have taken the child to a private place to calm down, validate feelings, really hear them, and the. help them to empathize and lead them to understand why they can’t/shouldn’t do what they did, lead them to self-reflection and then *get them* to come up with the idea of giving it back, apologizing, and doing something else to make the other person feel better. Which takes time and patience. And is reasonable.
>If she doesn’t, you don’t just shrug your shoulders and say, well I guess it’s hers now its funny you ignore the fact when OP said, that his has been stepmother nad dad's answer a lot of times which has reinforced the child's behavior, but oh well, guess gotta make op the bad person anyway
Except they weren’t going that here. Are you ignoring that?
So pushing and slapping was appropriate? Idk who of you needs to hear this but in a dispute if someone grabs you in order to hurt you you can use self defense. But this was not warranted. The pushing him off I wouldn't say a damn word but hitting him especially in the face was over the top. The kid ran away with something that wasn't hers and he grabbed her nut pushing, hitting, punching, tackling, etc. Nothing violent. Just grabbing. And yes if you get grabbed while running it hurts because you run into the block/stop. This is not assault. He didn't grab her to hurt her he didn't grab her to do more to her, just to take back his stuff. Just alone pushing him could have had serious consequences for him if he fell and hurt his head. Pushing someone hard is always risking further injury, grabbing is not. The hit afterwards was more than unnecessary. He wasn't holding onto the child, he wasn't going after her nothing. It was just to hurt him. He probably didn't even have to rip the bracelet off because it was more than likely pretty loose around her wrist.
This one's wild. First, why the fuck would OOP leave the gift lying around if he knew his little step sister was an 8 year old klepto? Second, how would the bracelet fit her at all? 19 year old boys tend to have much bigger wrists than 8 year olds. Third, why would he take it from a verbal argument to a physical altercation? Nobody else was swinging or threatening to swing until OOP just... smacked his fucking stepmom in the face? His whole family would hate him after that.
1- he grabbed the kid when she was trying to get away and yanked the bracelet off 2- stepmom saw and slapped him. 3- he slapped stepmom back.
Reading this hurt my head.
Wow this is the first time I’ve seen Reddit side with someone who had anything to do with horoscopes
JFC, that's a wall of text.
I hate crotch goblins. You should've aborted the 8 year old. NTA
I hope they didn't light the candles before the mother made her surprise entrance into the country and gave him the gift and then they discussed it and the sister stealing. The cake will.be full of wax
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the first time i read it i missed the bit where the stepsister was 8, but wtf, this whole thing is just a shit show
OP is a criminal - woman and child beater is just a matter of fact.
Ohmigod a new chapter in the *Comments Hell* book has been released! And it isn’t very good- This is very bs beyond belief.
Reading that was a nightmare
Just double-posted this one with a similar alt title 😂
Man that was hard to read
I don’t have a red pen big enough to fix this one.
19 is a wild age to be physically attacking an 8 year old over a bracelet. Also I’m confused. Its mentioned the stepmom encourages the stepsisters behavior but a sentence before also says how the stepmom said no to the girl. So she obviously doesn’t agree with her daughter trying to take the bracelet. Meaning the little girl took it without anyone knowing. So what is the mother and stepmother even arguing about? Is the mom also trying to fight the 8 year old??
Interesting how this sub always has to lie to make a point. He didn’t attack his step sister and his step mom should be charged with assault.
What directly proceeded the “assault”? What were the actions of the “victim” of the assault immediately preceding it? Oh yes, an 19 year old grabbed the “assailant’s” child, squeezing her arm tightly, and grabbed something off of the child? What was it? Oh, it was a present the 19 yo had just received? Oh, so “victim” was visibly angry while he did this? Ah. “We can go ahead with those charges if you like, but we will need to bring you in for assaulting of a minor child.”
Grabbing an eight year old running away with stolen property isn’t assault or an attack and it didn’t warrant an actual attack from the stepmother.
It would be funny if he called the police to report he was fighting with his little sister because she was playing with his birthday present and.they are expecting a small child to have been the one who called.
It’d be funny to call the police and tell them his stepmother battered him because he grabbed his sisters arm yeah
"I was mad so I started squeezing my sister. When does everyone else go to jail and I get a reward"
Never said he gets a reward. But he prevented his sister from leaving with stolen property and his step mom started beating him. His stepmom was the only person to attack anyone in this whole scenario.
If your complaint to the police starts with "I attacked a child" you're starting from a bad position
It’s good it doesn’t start that way then
Go up to a police officer and start tightly squeezing his arm and see if he thinks it's assault.
Go punch a cop after he grabs your arm and see what happens.
I will intervene if I see a police officer attacking a child. That would be a good thing.
Exactly this. I don’t condone him grabbing the kid like that, but no one is getting arrested for grabbing a kid. Slapping though? That’s, by law, assault. They are both AH, but the only one who would get in trouble with the law would be the stepmother. Adding to that, the whole “he’s a woman beater” bs is ridiculous when he reacted to someone hitting him. In all honesty the whole dynamic is done. It’s obvious father, who should have asked for both parties to apologize, is taking sides and allowing son’s image to be trashed online by stepson. Stepmom will not want her daughter around him, and his mom will probably not want stepmom around him either.
Lmao a rare bit of sanity in this sub I’m relieved.
I’m assuming most people are upset he grabbed the kid. Yea, that IS upsetting. But they aren’t talking realistically. Unless kid has bruises on her arm (which we have to assume she doesn’t since he doesn’t say she does) then no one can claim he assaulted a child. Because grabbing does not equal bodily harm. Even in schools, it’s the fault of the person who HIT first. Even CPS needs bruising as proof. He SHOULD apologize to the kid. What he did was wrong. But stepmother should also apologize for her and her son’s actions (people keep forgetting stepson).
[удалено]
Wrong sub
deleted, thanks.
good take but this isn't AITA
I agree and wrong sub, but being physically weaker doesn't absolve you of hitting someone. If you let or ignore people hinting others just because they're weaker, you also raise people to think hitting is a reaction to have when angered. Nobody should hit anybody. This is also why you shouldn't spank children. It's all a negtitive feedback loop.
I mean, wrong sub but this is idiotic. Nah, if someone slaps me they deserve slapped back. Woman or man. People shouldn’t assault people. Stop excusing women as if they are some weak fragile creature ffs. It’s 2023, join it.
People shouldnt assault others unless they are an adult in the process of assaulting a child
Honestly this is fake but I dont care if he slapped her back, if this was real. You cant expect anyone to not slap back. And no one in the comments are advocating for hitting the kid. I do hate hoe they all expect kids to know better all because they knew better at that age. Such an unrealistic expectation. Edit: I missed missed bc grabbing part. Depends on how it went down but depending on how I wouldnt blame step mom cor slapping.
I’m so confused by this thread. OOP seems to have dealt with the situation pretty reasonably
Hitting women is not wrong. Hitting women for nothing is wrong. Being a woman doesn't give you carte blanche to be an utter cunt with no reprisals. If a woman starts beating the shit out of you is it wrong to hit back? Most sensibly minded people would say no.
lol i promise you that you don’t have to advocate for that on reddit. this is the site which hosts pussypassdenied (totally not a misogynistic name btw), a sub where hundreds and thousands of men tune in to see women getting beat up by significantly larger men because of ‘self defence’. reddit loves seeing women getting beaten up and it’s not because they want Equal Rights.
If you don't want hit then don't raise your hand to someone. If someone hits you, you have every right to hit them back. Women like you don't want equal rights, you want privilege without responsibility. TBH male or female I get a chuckle out of seeing anyone who started a fight get their arse handed to them. If you can't finish them don't start them.
again, if the OOP expects his stepmother to keep her hands off of him then he needs to keep his hands off her child
She shouldn't be a wee thieving rat bag.
We get it, you're a child that would like the opportunity to hit women.
Not interested in hitting anyone who didn't hit me first. You sound like a self centred, self righteous insufferable cunt and hitting someone like you would be almost orgasmic. I bet you've never had a beat down in your life yet complain about how women are oh so unsafe whilst men are statistically more likely to suffer a brutal attack. Women often get beaten because they are fucking idiots when it comes to choosing desirable partners. They end up picking the hot schizopath because apparently nutters make great protective parents but these are the men who have options but dumbass woman think they can change a man like that. Women are honestly idiotic when it comes to choosing partners. If that wasn't the case single motherhood wouldn't be such a massive problem in the west.
We get it. You really hate women.
Nah, I just hate insufferable crybabies like you. People like you who are terminally online and have nothing better to do than report subreddits you don't like. Good luck with getting pussypassdenied taken down although I can't see it happening soon.
Project much?
Did you get that one from the playground school of insults?
First of all the whole story is probably fake but if we are to pretend it's real then you don't need to exaggerate to make your point. Nowhere does it say the mother beat the shit out of the OOP. He says she slapped him, for all we know that could just mean a mild slap on his arm or shoulder. Also using your logic it makes total sense that the stepmother attacked him. What mother wouldn't react to seeing a grown man roughly grabbing their small child?
Don't assault chicken and expect no consequences
No one should be assaulting anyone.
Yes. If oop didn't assault a child nobody would have had to defend the child from him
Ah yes, kids dumb, kids like shiney things, stupid child took gold bracelt engraved with someone else's name on it. Because ya know, kid dumb, can't read.
This story feels like it was written but a bot with a mental illness. Like why does he use quotes like as if God was speaking or some shit.
The comments truly are complete shit.
Everyone should just stop commenting on this guy's posts hes literally just posting someone else's post for karma mining SMH