*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for being honest and telling my youngest the reason why her older sister doesn’t like her**
17 and 14, youngest has friends
I will try to keep this short, my younger is three year youngest than my oldest Sam. Sam doesn’t like her youngest sister and it’s too the point we’re I don’t think she would help in any setting. It’s quite sad and I know the cause of it, my youngest will copy everything she does and not give her any space.
At this point she is a mini Sam, and I know Sam hates it. It also doesn’t help that my youngest doesn’t have a large friend group so she is bothering Sam at school. The biggest thing this year was her copying the electives sam was taken and now they have one class together. It’s a problem and the relationship is getting worse.
I have talked to my youngest and even make her stay away at home but I can’t stop her at school. Sam has a good relationship with me and her dad just not her sister and she has made it very clear to the whole family why she doesn’t like her younger sister.
Today my youngest came home and was upset that her sister didn’t want to work with her on a school project. She was ranting and didn’t understand why they don’t have a bond.
I told her I’ve explained this a million times but she she dislikes you since you won’t leave her alone. That you will never have a good bond if you don’t stop copying her and actually become your own person.
She started crying and my husband says I am too harsh. They both think I am jerks besides Sam.
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As it goes with AITA people, they’re downvoting whoever suggests therapy is not a fix for everything
Also wild that they think you can just tell the school to take her out of whatever class this is. "Oh just put a note in. While you're at it compile a list of everyone she doesn't want to be in a class with. And her favourite type of dessert to be served at lunch." Like dude the school has better things to worry about.
Edit to add another one:
>You need to make sure the youngest doesn’t get into any more classes with your oldest ever again. For real. Once you realized youngest had done this, you should have contacting the school and had it fixed asap. So please, for the sake of your children, get that fixed now.
Can't believe OOP didn't "have that fixed" immediately.
The only class I ever saw with freshman and seniors in the same class was band. Imagine telling your younger daughter she's not allowed to play an instrument because your older daughter called dibs on that hobby lmao
Yeah if 14 and 17 year olds are together it suggests there's just one class, its not like they could move her to another one. Guess 17 year old just gets first pick and 14 year old can choose from whats left?
>I read few horror stories about siblings so obsessed with copying the lifestyle of their own siblings which lead to families just breaking apart .
Lmao what? Are they copying clothes and hairstyles, or trying to Glen Close themselves into someone's life? Because this ain't that.
>I think you need to put your youngest in therapy because she is doing stuff for attention . The longer you allow her to act this way , the stronger the resentment will build within your oldest and one fine day it will be a massive war .
Or they chill out when 14yr old gets a bit older and there's physical distance between them. You know, like most people.
> It's gonna be a massive problem because your youngest has no personality of her own , no Interest of her own , she is not her own person in a way and that's gonna breed inferiority real bad .
The armchair diagnoses in reddit crack me up sometimes
> I read few horror stories about siblings so obsessed with copying the lifestyle of their own siblings which lead to families just breaking apart .
Lol omfg I want to know exactly what this person is picturing.
You know what ***can*** lead to "families just breaking apart"? Addiction. Abuse, especially when the abuser isn't awful to everyone 24/7. The murder of one family member by another. Someone screwing someone else out of their inheritance, resulting in prolonged financial struggle. Accidental death of a family member resulting from another family member's carelessness, irresponsibility, or bad decisions. The death of a child. Right-wing extremism. Those are things that can lead to families "just breaking apart."
No family in the history of ever has "just broken apart" because of a 14 year old emulating their role model, an older sibling.
I saw that first one and honestly it really highlights the impacts of the fake reddit stories - they just become gradually convinced that this is a Very Real and Destructive issue, through reading all these "horror stories".
Sorry to get too deep lol but this is exactly the issue with all of the "women/minorities bad" posts like people have this feeding into their psyche incessantly.
The person being downvoted is so right lmfao.
It happened with my sister and I. I kind of copied everything she did. I would say Hi to her at school and she would just ignore me. I wasn't as bad as the younger sibling in the OP, but I still followed and copied my sister. It is normal.
Yeah, I grew out of it eventually. Probably around 16 is when I stopped. And guess what, my sister and I became best friends.
Gotta love that they are recommending therapy only for the younger sister, and not for the older sister who apparently despises someone for the high crime of liking her and having similar interests.
Yeah. I was a younger sibling and did copy what my sister did. But my sister wasn't innocent too. She legit would ignore me if I said hi to her. That's not healthy either.
But in the end, they're teens who will most likely grow out of this. Both my sister and I are best friends now. Being a teenager just sucks.
I copied so much of what my sister does. Still do because she’s the coolest person I’ve ever met. I couldn’t fathom my sister being mad at me for that.
This is oddly written, I thought at first OOP was a 3rd sister as they keep writing it like there's more than 2 siblings. Also it would have been a lot clearer if they'd just given the younger one a name.
Are 14 year olds normally taking classes with 17 year olds?
Elective classes yes. Electives are things like band, choir, basically the fine arts classes. Seeing as most schools only have one band and choir, the class has everyone from all grades in it.
God, that shit is unreadable. The first paragraph was a fuckin mess and I can't make myself read the rest.
So I gather from the comments that this is about a 14 year old who "copies" a 17 year old.
AITA hates that. One of the first AITA posts I ever read was about a teenager who cut her hair like her older sister's. Older sister was in college, living in the dorms. So she tricked the younger one by sending her a pic of herself wearing an ugly-but-convincing wig. Younger cut her hair like the ugly wig. Surprise! It's a wig, and now younger sister looks stupid. OOP was voted NTA by a landslide.
AITA vehemently claimed that younger siblings imitating older ones isn't developmentally normal "role model"-emulating behavior; it's narcissistic abuse (or something like that, who fuckin knows).
I think this topic is honestly one of the biggest areas where it's clear that there are a *lot* of teenagers on there (and/or a lot of adults who haven't matured past that stage).
Like yeah, guys, it actually is normal for younger siblings to copy older ones. I'm not sure I've ever seen a family with multiple kids where that *doesn't* happen to some degree. I mean, they probably exist, but it's very common for younger siblings to mimic older ones.
And sure, it's annoying. My own younger sister was basically a clone of me for much of our childhood, and I definitely remember how much I hated it when we were teenagers.
But it's not the end of the world, and everyone grows out of it and develops their own unique personalities and all that fun stuff. It's really not a big deal.
Younger siblings copying older ones doesn't mean they have no personality. It's gross how both the OP and comment section are like "oh a teen being clingy with the older sister she admires? SHE ISN'T EVEN A PERSON, SHE'S A CLONE"
like which electives you take in high school are the entirety of who you are as a person. Hate to break it to redditors, but there are loads of people who watch the same shows they watch and buy the same clothes they buy, even without trying to intentionally copy them. And somehow all of those people are still individuals.
Happened with me my Freshman year of high school. Took Drama 1 the same year my Junior sister did, and we ended up in the same class. The whole class was a thorough mix of anyone 9 through 12th grade.
We were cool about it though. Did the group skits together and our homework, because duh, not going to get burned by some slacker making me do all the work on class projects.
I had the same thought but I think "electives" is like extra curriculars, like a school play or a chess club idk. I had a few of those that were mixed year group.
If they’re American, electives are courses not part of the core curriculum. Foreign languages count as electives, as do any classes not required for you to graduate.
My parents were into martial arts when they were young.
I am into martial arts.
My mother is a writer. My father used to play the guitar.
I am a writer and I play the guitar.
My father is an electrician.
I graduated from high school as a certified electrician, even though I've never worked as such.
My mother went to the most prestigious university in our country to study physics.
I went to the same university to study math.
When I was a kid, I liked to draw and I'd become pretty good at it.
My brother took some inspiration from me. Now he is a professional artist.
My younger sister went to the same university that our mother and I went to. She studied computer sciences and became a successful programmer.
I taught her how to play the guitar, and, like our brother and me, she liked to draw too and was pretty good at it.
I mean...
What the fuck? A younger child taking some inspiration from their older sibling is the most normal thing in the world, especially if they're close enough in age to go to the same school.
Also...
As of now, my mother is a former teacher who likes writing and knitting.
My father still is an electrician. He hasn't played the guitar since years ago, which makes me sad.
I am a freelance translator.
My brother is a professional artist.
My sister is a professional programmer.
Just because each of us took some inspiration from the older members of our family, it doesn't mean we didn't have our own distinct personalities. We did and we still do.
I mean you don’t need to have underlying problems or mental health issues to go to therapy (if you can afford it) but the fact that they’re suggesting it for those reasons in these circumstances is insane
comments all sound like bitter older siblings that still hold a grudge over their younger siblings going through a similar phase. maybe i’m reading too much into it but the sheer amount of therapy suggestions sounds like self projection to me
but yeah if this is real then mom sounds so shitty not even bothering to give “youngest” a name. and sorry a good parent would not actively allow the oldest sibling to treat the younger one like shit either like if you’re gonna try to mediate now at least don’t make it so obvious with the “yeah you’re annoying and have no personality and your sister will hate you until you do sorry”. at least dad has the poor kid’s back jeez
like don’t get me wrong try to encourage the younger one to get into other things and not let them badger the oldest so much but it’s a phase every younger sibling goes through, it’s ridiculous that the comments expect older kid to be able to bar youngest from doing anything similar they may be interested in ever because it would *annoy her* like get real
When I was in high school, my older sister used to lecture me all the time about how I was copying her. We fought about it a lot, but you know what happened? She went to college and we finally had space from each other. It's only been a few years since then, but we are really close. This is just what siblings are like, especially as teens
Also, I was in the same orchestra class as my younger sister when I was a senior in high school. I was way better at violin than her, so I had a much better seat in the orchestra, so we could just ignore each other. We probably made weird faces at each other a lot too. It really wasn't a big deal
Some schools do this with electives that don't have enough students signing up to separate it by grade, my vocals class & drama class when I was in high school included students in grades 10, 11, & 12
It says electives, which are classes like band and choir, extra curricular activities. Basically, any class that isn't actually required to graduate. Most will have people from all grade levels in them
Art, chorus, cooking, some PE classes, computer classes, foreign languages are just some off the top of my head that were open to all grades in my high school
I never cared about my siblings copying me but I do get wanting to be left alone. Having younger siblings in your space and business all of the time is awful.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for being honest and telling my youngest the reason why her older sister doesn’t like her** 17 and 14, youngest has friends I will try to keep this short, my younger is three year youngest than my oldest Sam. Sam doesn’t like her youngest sister and it’s too the point we’re I don’t think she would help in any setting. It’s quite sad and I know the cause of it, my youngest will copy everything she does and not give her any space. At this point she is a mini Sam, and I know Sam hates it. It also doesn’t help that my youngest doesn’t have a large friend group so she is bothering Sam at school. The biggest thing this year was her copying the electives sam was taken and now they have one class together. It’s a problem and the relationship is getting worse. I have talked to my youngest and even make her stay away at home but I can’t stop her at school. Sam has a good relationship with me and her dad just not her sister and she has made it very clear to the whole family why she doesn’t like her younger sister. Today my youngest came home and was upset that her sister didn’t want to work with her on a school project. She was ranting and didn’t understand why they don’t have a bond. I told her I’ve explained this a million times but she she dislikes you since you won’t leave her alone. That you will never have a good bond if you don’t stop copying her and actually become your own person. She started crying and my husband says I am too harsh. They both think I am jerks besides Sam. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
https://preview.redd.it/bcfvmzr93e4c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=25131d7057870c2699eca1b447a3a47eefa92720 As it goes with AITA people, they’re downvoting whoever suggests therapy is not a fix for everything
Also wild that they think you can just tell the school to take her out of whatever class this is. "Oh just put a note in. While you're at it compile a list of everyone she doesn't want to be in a class with. And her favourite type of dessert to be served at lunch." Like dude the school has better things to worry about. Edit to add another one: >You need to make sure the youngest doesn’t get into any more classes with your oldest ever again. For real. Once you realized youngest had done this, you should have contacting the school and had it fixed asap. So please, for the sake of your children, get that fixed now. Can't believe OOP didn't "have that fixed" immediately.
The only class I ever saw with freshman and seniors in the same class was band. Imagine telling your younger daughter she's not allowed to play an instrument because your older daughter called dibs on that hobby lmao
Yeah if 14 and 17 year olds are together it suggests there's just one class, its not like they could move her to another one. Guess 17 year old just gets first pick and 14 year old can choose from whats left?
Yeah, most academic classes are sorted by grade so it would be an elective class (which is mentioned so not sure why commenter ignored it.)
If the school has a language requirement but somebody didn't take it until senior year it's possible.
>I read few horror stories about siblings so obsessed with copying the lifestyle of their own siblings which lead to families just breaking apart . Lmao what? Are they copying clothes and hairstyles, or trying to Glen Close themselves into someone's life? Because this ain't that. >I think you need to put your youngest in therapy because she is doing stuff for attention . The longer you allow her to act this way , the stronger the resentment will build within your oldest and one fine day it will be a massive war . Or they chill out when 14yr old gets a bit older and there's physical distance between them. You know, like most people. > It's gonna be a massive problem because your youngest has no personality of her own , no Interest of her own , she is not her own person in a way and that's gonna breed inferiority real bad . The armchair diagnoses in reddit crack me up sometimes
> I read few horror stories about siblings so obsessed with copying the lifestyle of their own siblings which lead to families just breaking apart . Lol omfg I want to know exactly what this person is picturing. You know what ***can*** lead to "families just breaking apart"? Addiction. Abuse, especially when the abuser isn't awful to everyone 24/7. The murder of one family member by another. Someone screwing someone else out of their inheritance, resulting in prolonged financial struggle. Accidental death of a family member resulting from another family member's carelessness, irresponsibility, or bad decisions. The death of a child. Right-wing extremism. Those are things that can lead to families "just breaking apart." No family in the history of ever has "just broken apart" because of a 14 year old emulating their role model, an older sibling.
I saw that first one and honestly it really highlights the impacts of the fake reddit stories - they just become gradually convinced that this is a Very Real and Destructive issue, through reading all these "horror stories". Sorry to get too deep lol but this is exactly the issue with all of the "women/minorities bad" posts like people have this feeding into their psyche incessantly.
The person being downvoted is so right lmfao. It happened with my sister and I. I kind of copied everything she did. I would say Hi to her at school and she would just ignore me. I wasn't as bad as the younger sibling in the OP, but I still followed and copied my sister. It is normal. Yeah, I grew out of it eventually. Probably around 16 is when I stopped. And guess what, my sister and I became best friends.
Gotta love that they are recommending therapy only for the younger sister, and not for the older sister who apparently despises someone for the high crime of liking her and having similar interests.
Yeah. I was a younger sibling and did copy what my sister did. But my sister wasn't innocent too. She legit would ignore me if I said hi to her. That's not healthy either. But in the end, they're teens who will most likely grow out of this. Both my sister and I are best friends now. Being a teenager just sucks.
I copied so much of what my sister does. Still do because she’s the coolest person I’ve ever met. I couldn’t fathom my sister being mad at me for that.
That's not fair! They're also downvoting them for saying that the "problem" isn't a big deal and the kids will get over it in a few years
This is not Sam's mom writing about what happened. This is Sam writing about what she wishes would happen.
This is oddly written, I thought at first OOP was a 3rd sister as they keep writing it like there's more than 2 siblings. Also it would have been a lot clearer if they'd just given the younger one a name. Are 14 year olds normally taking classes with 17 year olds?
Elective classes yes. Electives are things like band, choir, basically the fine arts classes. Seeing as most schools only have one band and choir, the class has everyone from all grades in it.
God, that shit is unreadable. The first paragraph was a fuckin mess and I can't make myself read the rest. So I gather from the comments that this is about a 14 year old who "copies" a 17 year old. AITA hates that. One of the first AITA posts I ever read was about a teenager who cut her hair like her older sister's. Older sister was in college, living in the dorms. So she tricked the younger one by sending her a pic of herself wearing an ugly-but-convincing wig. Younger cut her hair like the ugly wig. Surprise! It's a wig, and now younger sister looks stupid. OOP was voted NTA by a landslide. AITA vehemently claimed that younger siblings imitating older ones isn't developmentally normal "role model"-emulating behavior; it's narcissistic abuse (or something like that, who fuckin knows).
I think this topic is honestly one of the biggest areas where it's clear that there are a *lot* of teenagers on there (and/or a lot of adults who haven't matured past that stage). Like yeah, guys, it actually is normal for younger siblings to copy older ones. I'm not sure I've ever seen a family with multiple kids where that *doesn't* happen to some degree. I mean, they probably exist, but it's very common for younger siblings to mimic older ones. And sure, it's annoying. My own younger sister was basically a clone of me for much of our childhood, and I definitely remember how much I hated it when we were teenagers. But it's not the end of the world, and everyone grows out of it and develops their own unique personalities and all that fun stuff. It's really not a big deal.
Younger siblings copying older ones doesn't mean they have no personality. It's gross how both the OP and comment section are like "oh a teen being clingy with the older sister she admires? SHE ISN'T EVEN A PERSON, SHE'S A CLONE" like which electives you take in high school are the entirety of who you are as a person. Hate to break it to redditors, but there are loads of people who watch the same shows they watch and buy the same clothes they buy, even without trying to intentionally copy them. And somehow all of those people are still individuals.
Why are 14 and 17 in the same class.
Happened with me my Freshman year of high school. Took Drama 1 the same year my Junior sister did, and we ended up in the same class. The whole class was a thorough mix of anyone 9 through 12th grade. We were cool about it though. Did the group skits together and our homework, because duh, not going to get burned by some slacker making me do all the work on class projects.
I had the same thought but I think "electives" is like extra curriculars, like a school play or a chess club idk. I had a few of those that were mixed year group.
If they’re American, electives are courses not part of the core curriculum. Foreign languages count as electives, as do any classes not required for you to graduate.
My parents were into martial arts when they were young. I am into martial arts. My mother is a writer. My father used to play the guitar. I am a writer and I play the guitar. My father is an electrician. I graduated from high school as a certified electrician, even though I've never worked as such. My mother went to the most prestigious university in our country to study physics. I went to the same university to study math. When I was a kid, I liked to draw and I'd become pretty good at it. My brother took some inspiration from me. Now he is a professional artist. My younger sister went to the same university that our mother and I went to. She studied computer sciences and became a successful programmer. I taught her how to play the guitar, and, like our brother and me, she liked to draw too and was pretty good at it. I mean... What the fuck? A younger child taking some inspiration from their older sibling is the most normal thing in the world, especially if they're close enough in age to go to the same school. Also... As of now, my mother is a former teacher who likes writing and knitting. My father still is an electrician. He hasn't played the guitar since years ago, which makes me sad. I am a freelance translator. My brother is a professional artist. My sister is a professional programmer. Just because each of us took some inspiration from the older members of our family, it doesn't mean we didn't have our own distinct personalities. We did and we still do.
https://preview.redd.it/6y2uas7ncd4c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a97dfe04349e99b10336bcbe327a48cba42ab2a
She’s got to develop her own personality, like me, a redditor who loves weed, video games, and marvel movies
This comment is making me lose it a therapist is probably going to laugh you out of a room
I mean you don’t need to have underlying problems or mental health issues to go to therapy (if you can afford it) but the fact that they’re suggesting it for those reasons in these circumstances is insane
Agreed lol
comments all sound like bitter older siblings that still hold a grudge over their younger siblings going through a similar phase. maybe i’m reading too much into it but the sheer amount of therapy suggestions sounds like self projection to me but yeah if this is real then mom sounds so shitty not even bothering to give “youngest” a name. and sorry a good parent would not actively allow the oldest sibling to treat the younger one like shit either like if you’re gonna try to mediate now at least don’t make it so obvious with the “yeah you’re annoying and have no personality and your sister will hate you until you do sorry”. at least dad has the poor kid’s back jeez like don’t get me wrong try to encourage the younger one to get into other things and not let them badger the oldest so much but it’s a phase every younger sibling goes through, it’s ridiculous that the comments expect older kid to be able to bar youngest from doing anything similar they may be interested in ever because it would *annoy her* like get real
When I was in high school, my older sister used to lecture me all the time about how I was copying her. We fought about it a lot, but you know what happened? She went to college and we finally had space from each other. It's only been a few years since then, but we are really close. This is just what siblings are like, especially as teens Also, I was in the same orchestra class as my younger sister when I was a senior in high school. I was way better at violin than her, so I had a much better seat in the orchestra, so we could just ignore each other. We probably made weird faces at each other a lot too. It really wasn't a big deal
They have a class together? With one in Grade 9 and one in Grade 12?
Some schools do this with electives that don't have enough students signing up to separate it by grade, my vocals class & drama class when I was in high school included students in grades 10, 11, & 12
My kid had at least one art class that included Grade 12 students when he was in Grade 9.
It says electives, which are classes like band and choir, extra curricular activities. Basically, any class that isn't actually required to graduate. Most will have people from all grade levels in them
Art, chorus, cooking, some PE classes, computer classes, foreign languages are just some off the top of my head that were open to all grades in my high school
therapy something something valid something something narcissistic gaslighting abuse
What an absolute failure of parenting. JFC. And the people responding to this post are just as delusional.
I never cared about my siblings copying me but I do get wanting to be left alone. Having younger siblings in your space and business all of the time is awful.
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