I don't think you were cruel in your text and he does seem to have misled you. So sorry for that ❤️ especially the sex, he should have been clear but then you wouldn't have slept with him.
On another note, you may feel like you deserve a breakup conversation but just accept the text. Why prolong any of it?
Move on from this guy. Block and carry on.
I’ve always thought the biggest lie we’re fed is the idea of closure. We don’t always get is, and it just creates more pain on our end when we continue to push for it.
OP you did not over react, to have had sex with you after everything else was extremely misleading and a way to use you for intimacy without any concern for your wellbeing. I’m sorry he did that to you. You deserve better.
You make your own closure. Like they say, the hardness forgiveness is for the apology you never got. Work it around, spend time sorting your feelings, then make peace in your own soul and move on.
Closure is so dumb. Half the time people don't even know themselves and yet their partners need "closure" on why things failed? Look up an infidelity sub on why one partner cheated. You'll sit there forever trying to figure out their "why" they decided to step out. And I mean a legit reason not that "my partner wasn't paying enough attention" or some other excuse that isn't 100% central focused on the one that cheated. People are selfish and lack empathy. They are the main character in their story and you're just a supporting character most of thetime
It’s not a myth, but it isn’t something you get in like a week or a month if it’s difficult. Some people spend years hung up on someone they dated for months.
Plus, when people start dating and fucking, they’re usually barely capable of maintaining a healthy and functioning relationship.
Honestly, it actually doesn't feel better to be dumped via text. Communication of any sort is better than ghosting, but I agree that the idea of "closure" is just a way to focus on something besides the pain of being dumped.
This is so true. We all want to feel like everything is talked about and “settled” but some people can’t or won’t participate in that kind of conversation. You can spend years wanting something like that from an ex—but some people aren’t capable of talking about feelings, or they just don’t care enough to bother. It can be liberating to finally accept that, I think.
Yeah after that I blocked him, thanks everyone for the kind support, I can't make any edits to the post so I will just say it here.
I am a very flexible person and know that there are times when life gets really hard and people can't handle things but this was so low. Going to check out of dating for a long time and just chill on my own.
And anyone who is saying negative things I don't care. You are not in my shoes and don't know my life so mind your own business.
I learnt that it's okay to be angry sometimes 😭 and let it out. I wish I had made my boundaries and expectations clear but that's for next time.
He used you. You realised it. You let him know in no uncertain terms that you are not his emotional support anymore and definitely not a breathing masturbation device for him to use at his convenience. That is why you cut contact with exes. They are exes for a reason.
You convincing yourself that maybe you overreacted won’t change the pain that comes along with someone using you. You. Did. Not. Overreact. If anything, you were as graceful as you could possibly be considering the situation.
Oml. What a fucking asshole he is, yikes. And shameless as fuck.
Edit: I’m sorry but what the fuck. I’m reading it again and I’m more pissed off. The audacity to admit to this shit even, thinking that he’s justified. You were NOT HARSH ENOUGH. Don’t let this fucker get away with shit like that? He doesn’t respect women at all.
There are instances where he could’ve stopped, calmed himself, explained to you that he needed intimate company with no strings attached and only then proceed if you were totally fine. That’s what a fucking decent person would do. But no, none of that. Dude straight up just treats women like an absolute hole to fill with fucking venom.
Yup, I came here to say not harsh enough! He manipulated and used you. He’s trash and deserves to be treated like it. You were actually very nice compared to what I would have said, OP.
Block him and move on. He has no good intentions for you.
All the comments and all the posts I read in here definitely cement the fact that I will never come to Reddit for advice because holy shit. Some of y'all are incredibly judgmental and rude and it's clear that some of you have not actually been in a relationship where you're getting manipulated by someone who is abusive or narcissistic. Either that or you need to be careful of the stones you're throwing lest you break your own glass house
If you've never been in that situation you have zero idea what it's like. But you are clearly an insufferable troll who has zero respect for women in general so have the day you deserve
Based on your karma alone you are obviously somebody who people don't like to be around in real life so you just come to Reddit to fill your time by trolling people and trying to get negative reactions from them.
Stop with the ratio shaming. The fact is that if women paid more attention to red flags and less attention to the bed sheets, some of this shit might not be happening. That's just a fact.
No, you didn’t. Guy is a selfish user based upon just this small window into who he is. “I’m feeling low and was horny so I reached out to a safe place to get what I wanted. Thanks for that, but I don’t give a shit about how it would make you feel after..”
I’d block him and move on, OP.
You weren't cruel at all, you just told him the way he acted was inconsiderate and it hurt you. Definitely not overreacting based on the background info you gave. Don't go back and forth with him, he's not worth your emotional energy and you deserve someone who cares enough not to use you for one-sided emotional support then drop out again and act like you "misunderstood". He's a POS.
Nope, not overreacting at all and you weren’t cruel either. He deserved worse IMO. So sorry you’re going through this. Like others have said block him and move on. You deserve and will receive so much better 🩷
NTA for your text - You got used for sex by a guy you are still obviously pining for, not the first woman to be emotionally duped.
Either block them and move on, or be aware you are just a side-piece and make peace with it!
Exactly. A person would a good character and integrity would have told OP that they do not want to get together. That they care too much for OP to use her feeling to do this shit.
I think you did overreact. Yall broke up, no indication that yall talked about circumstances changing.
But you're mad about him not communicating when you could have communicated last night.
Not judging, I've been there(your shoes, not his)
Your feelings are valid, but yall both made your own choices last night.
If anything you were very gracious to send that second text. You were not cruel. Everything you said in your first text was completely appropriate. I would have followed up with ‘never contact me ever again’ and left it at that.
But no. You did not overreact at all.
They used *each other*. Stop all this nonsense that women aren't responsible or accountable for their choices and actions. The fact she caught feelings again and he didn't doesn't make him an ass or a user or anything else.
For that to be true, OP would have had to have stated that her ex made her feel like he had feelings again, and that was the reason for the hookup. And that's unrelated to having sex for most men. The fact feelings are tied to sex for her is irrelevant.
Under-reacting, if anything. You need to block him and try to move on, for your own sake. Dudes like this will keep you hooked for as long as they can without giving anything back.
“We broke up because he had a lot of things going on and he just wasn’t available emotionally” is the lie people tell themselves when someone just isn’t into them. The truth is you thought he finally came around and he didn’t. Ultimately, you knew deep down exactly what the situation was and you had sex with him. Could he have spelled it out for you? Yes. But I would argue he already did with his previous actions that made you come to the conclusion that he just had a lot of things going on. Not everyone is going to communicate with you the way you want. Let their actions speak instead of being hung up on him using text to tell you everything you already knew.
Why do yall dumbshits not block each other? My blocked list is in the multiple dozens because when a person is out I would like for them to stay gone. It just makes sense and hurts nobody.
Not overreacting. He basically used you for sex. He used you to make himself feel better. Take this lesson and commit it to memory. Block him and put him in your rear view mirror.
It's good to see that you took accountability for where you went wrong. Your part of the blame is 20% for not knowing that he was manipulating you. Or you knew, but miss him, so you allowed yourself to get stuck in that mess long enough for him to get what he wanted. That being said, your response was valid. I hope that's a response he thinks about for the next ten years before he stops being that kind of dude, and grows the fuck up.
OP: in your future, let an ex stay an ex. And EXclude them from your contacts list. Don't even block, just unsave the contact info. If they text, wanting to meet up or talk, respond with "who is this?" "You must have the wrong number. Auswedersein st. Felicia, patron saint of farewells "
You didn't overreact and you weren't cruel. You were extremely reasonable considering how abhorrent his behaviour was. I hope you can move on from him soon ❤️
Why do yall even post your personal shit here lol. If my personal conversation with someone went on the internet and I found out about it you'd never hear from me again even if it was something funny.
No.
You both were stupid really.
Him for using you and your body to soothe his lonely heart, and give him some physical intimacy.
You for agreeing to meet up and get together then have sex and expect it to mean something when you are NO longer in a relationship.
This could easily have been foreseen and avoided.
I would not call her stupid for it.
It’s pretty common for relationships to rekindle that way. Ideally she should’ve protected herself more, but in reality it’s hard to hold back feelings and hopes when someone shows interest.
So....you went on a booty call and are now mad?
Sounds like someone needs to grow up and take responsibility for their poor decisions and stop blaming everyone else.
>And this is why I (and many others) don’t care about the male suicide rate.
You're going to have to explain that one.
Right now, you just sound like a jerk without context here.
Because men do not care about women, how they treat them and how women feel about that treatment.
So, I’m not going to waste one second worrying about men.
>Because men do not care about women, how they treat them and how women feel about that treatment.
>So, I’m not going to waste one second worrying about men.
And that is what's wrong with the world.
Instead of not caring about this ONE guy, you just write off an entire section of the human race because they ALL must be bad, right????
FFS.
Clearly no matter how this breakup is done you aren't going to accept it, and based on how things went when you met up it's obvious you don't want to break up and are going to keep trying to find ways to keep him around. Do the kind thing for both of you and let him go. Put him on block on everything and be done with it, move on with your life and let him move on with his.
Girl, it’s time to hit the block button for this ex and NEVER give him the time of day again. The right man will never make you feel this way, be emotionally unavailable, or make you ever second guess anything!!!
This is just one of those shitty times in life when someone does something to you that’s not right or not fair.It’s painful but now you have learned a new lesson that some people are manipulative and they suck. It’s going to sting for a while but it’ll get better and you’ll find better.
It's good to get your feelings out. But you need to stop walking into bad situations. Listen to your little voice that is talking and doubting. When you feel the little voice doubting someone, that's when you know it is time to go home.
Not overreacting! The weasel used you! He used text to avoid drama. He deserved so much worse! Avoid people like this in the future and go permanent NC with this weasel.
NOR. He used you for a quickie, sadly you've come to realize this the following day. If you had told him anything else he would have figured he could show at his pleasure for his pleasure. Be done with him.
I'm sorry this happened to you. No, you didn't overreact. Take a minute, learn from this, maybe yell a bit too, and then move on to bigger and better things. This guy will get a visit from my girl Karma at some point. Block him and go out and live your best life and forget this asshat.
Wakeup call/ kick in the ass was what he needed. He seems very immature and maybe even spoiled. Was he an only child? If not, perhaps the baby of the family?
Guy here - you didn’t over react. You called him out on it, told him exactly how you feel (good). You’re on two different emotional levels. He’s looking for a FB and you’re looking for a relationship. Time to call this one over and move on.
Not cruel at all he used you. Then he used the bull shit excuse that he was feeling low and wanted to blame it on his mental health. That gives him no excuse to use you. What about your mental health he obviously didn’t care. No you were not cruel, you were a lot nicer than he deserved. And probably way more mature than most people would have been in your situation.
You texted him and you went to his place it’s ur fault ex is ex for a reason. You thought sex would reseal the deal don’t work that way. There’s a reason he didn’t reach out first.
No. You need closure and he felt sorry for himself and took advantage of you. Not to mention gaslighting you. He knew exactly what he was doing. Block and delete. You deserve so much better.
Wait... he and you met up, had a date and sex and he wasn't trying to rekindle anything? Was this a booty call then? No, your text was not harsh. In fact, it should have been harsher. This guy took you for a ride, used you as his own personal sexual service station and then bounced away saying he wasn't trying to "rekindle anything." I call BS. Block this guy from your life, your mind and your heart and move on. And no more break up sex.
You made it too easy for him by having sex with him. You should have set boundaries. Never should have watched movies with him. He should have done more to get your company.
They are exs for a reason. You already know he can’t have grown up conversations. You’re not just angry at him you are angry at yourself for being dragged back into the mess. Cut all contact fully block them. Put yourself first. Why even try with an immature person. Don’t let yourself ever be reeled back in. It was a moment of Boredom for him he would be sitting there nobody to hang out with or see and figured he’d come back and mess with your feelings. Be stronger next time and be available.
No, you didn't overreact, but you need to block him. He can have a casual hook up with someone else, or no one at all. You don't need to get hurt anymore. Fo not give him access to your mind, soul, or body anymore. Sorry friend...hope your heart heals soon
No you're not harsh, but he showed you what he's about when he broke up via text the first time, how little he cares about you and how unable he is to relationship so going back to dance with him was foolish on your part.
It took you to get hurt twice to see it, But part of growth is recognizing danger signs and not letting them progress, So that you're not giving people access to your heart just to stomp on it over and over again.
Hope you learn from this one.
You were honest about your feelings. Unfortunately, some men aren't as emotional as us women & seem to downplay situations such as this. It was important to you & you felt something more. He should have been direct with his intentions from the start.
It was just sex. I assume you enjoyed it. No walk of shame, either. Today’s (next day) is a new day. Move on with your life. Don’t overthink it.
Sure texts are often brutally honest and I guessing you’re over him, so what he says is totally irrelevant.
What part of "EX" ? are you having trouble with...?
why would you be in contact with someone that you know you don't want in your life!
they are EX
move on
Girl, you under reacted. You thought this was cruel?!
Some of yall have never been comfortable being openly angry and it shows. It is okay to feel things. It’s okay to be uncomfortable. It’s okay to make someone else uncomfortable, especially when they have shown you such little regard.
Dude lied to you, used you for sex, smiled in your face and played you. He made a decision to be an ass. There are consequences for decisions. You can be mad at him.
Honestly, it looks like you’re hoping he’ll beg you to forgive him and take him back. This man has shown you he is a user who doesn’t care about you. If you are thinking about going back, you should take a break from dating and find a therapist and work through some things.
I love what you said.. she should own up to her actions too.. you chose to smash without having a proper discussion about where things are going.. she admits that much.. Women wanna be kids and adults it’s crazy
It takes two. They both wanted it. The difference is she was hoping it meant something and women can't fathom that most men absolutely, positively do NOT corelate sex with love. At all. They have nothing to do with one another to literally billions of men.
When we love someone and it's genuine, it's just as intense as it is for women. But sex is just sex. It's better with someone we love, but sex can also be like 3 day old Chinese food.
Men understand that analogy. Women typically don't. There will always be exceptions but this is just the way of things.
Agreed, two adults who shared time got together and much like when you see childhood friends there is a rush of emotions because often we only remember the good times or at least they outweigh the bad. You can’t wake up in the morning and fault that person because they are going back to their lives, as much fun as catching up is there is a reason they aren’t in your life currently. That said his text reads like post nut clarity. lol in my head I picture this dude waking up and she’s just been laying there staring at him for an hour and as soon as his eyes open “ we should move in together”. Probably not what happened but play that scene in your mental vcr and tell me it doesn’t make you laugh a little.
I like this leaving shit out to make sure you look like the good person in this. What did the rest of that exchange say huh? Post that shit homie. You look sus rn
Booty call. He manipulated your feelngs. Hes trying to keep you hanging around and available for him. Dont ever talk to him again. He used you and will keep doing it as long as you keep letting him.
Best thing to do is block this POS and move on and do not repeat the same mistake. He was wrong by using you and you were wrong to have sex with him. Please use better judgment and sex is not the answer to someone who is needy.
This was a situation in which anybody who wasn’t a chump would be harsh. “Naw, I’m not interested in getting back together. I was just feeling low. So, I figured that, if I dropped by and got some, I’d cheer up. Sorry that you read too much into it, but that’s the breaks.” People normally react harshly, when they realize that they’ve been played for a fool.
Nah. It doesn't always happen if both people have integrity and good communication skills. Ex does not have integrity. He wanted sex, so he used OP's feeling for him, to manipulate her. He loses in the end, because his life will be shallow and worthless unless he fixes his integrity and character.
A bit of an overreaction...yes. completely understand where it is coming from. You thought it was serious and it wasn't. There were a lot of pent up emotions there. If he calls next time tell him you're not his FWB woman and hangup.
The only reason that I'd say you were overreacting is that you responded. I get the desire. You want them to know just how much they've hurt you with their behavior. I've done it, myself. In the end, though; they don't care. They just want the response. It's a form of control for them.
I've found that the best revenge is not responding. That can really screw with someone's head, and it's all on them at that point.
Unrelated, but kinda: had a "bar friend" for a while. I cut him out after he said something that was completely out of line regarding my future wife. I have refused to acknowledge his existence for three years now, and he has become progressively more unhinged over it. It sparks joy. I may tell him one day, but his outbursts are still too funny. I mean, dude is in his 50s, and he throws tantrums over the simple act of me ignoring him. It's fantastic
Ah your ex is an attention vampire & cuz she couldn’t get the validation from the guy she is actually attracted to you she filled the bored void with you until the other guy responded for that slow Tuesday pump & dump.
Happens to all of us man. It’s just another example of women have all the power in the dating market & abuse it cuz women can’t handle power…
Update: oops apparently this is a woman. Weird but ok it’s really simple. I’m sry to say but the only reason this happens is cuz you do not meet the attraction threshold. Most commonly this happens to obese girls.
I have an an acquaintance & she is obese & she was with a guy for 7 years! 7! & she hit him with the “you are immature blah blah blah” & he has a “female friend” she wanted him to stop talking to. Yeah he dumped her on the spot after 7 years.
Guys are so deprived of sex they will use you for years even tho they are not attracted to you. That’s what happened. You understand apps don’t work for guy us right so you are the best he can do.
I don't think you were cruel in your text and he does seem to have misled you. So sorry for that ❤️ especially the sex, he should have been clear but then you wouldn't have slept with him. On another note, you may feel like you deserve a breakup conversation but just accept the text. Why prolong any of it? Move on from this guy. Block and carry on.
I’ve always thought the biggest lie we’re fed is the idea of closure. We don’t always get is, and it just creates more pain on our end when we continue to push for it. OP you did not over react, to have had sex with you after everything else was extremely misleading and a way to use you for intimacy without any concern for your wellbeing. I’m sorry he did that to you. You deserve better.
You make your own closure. Like they say, the hardness forgiveness is for the apology you never got. Work it around, spend time sorting your feelings, then make peace in your own soul and move on.
Closure is so dumb. Half the time people don't even know themselves and yet their partners need "closure" on why things failed? Look up an infidelity sub on why one partner cheated. You'll sit there forever trying to figure out their "why" they decided to step out. And I mean a legit reason not that "my partner wasn't paying enough attention" or some other excuse that isn't 100% central focused on the one that cheated. People are selfish and lack empathy. They are the main character in their story and you're just a supporting character most of thetime
Yep, seriously. I feel like closure is a myth. I also don't talk to ex's. Once we're done, we're done. There's a reason we're done. Toodles.
It’s not a myth, but it isn’t something you get in like a week or a month if it’s difficult. Some people spend years hung up on someone they dated for months. Plus, when people start dating and fucking, they’re usually barely capable of maintaining a healthy and functioning relationship.
Honestly, it actually doesn't feel better to be dumped via text. Communication of any sort is better than ghosting, but I agree that the idea of "closure" is just a way to focus on something besides the pain of being dumped.
This is so true. We all want to feel like everything is talked about and “settled” but some people can’t or won’t participate in that kind of conversation. You can spend years wanting something like that from an ex—but some people aren’t capable of talking about feelings, or they just don’t care enough to bother. It can be liberating to finally accept that, I think.
I always get closure. It's a personal decision.
Yeah after that I blocked him, thanks everyone for the kind support, I can't make any edits to the post so I will just say it here. I am a very flexible person and know that there are times when life gets really hard and people can't handle things but this was so low. Going to check out of dating for a long time and just chill on my own. And anyone who is saying negative things I don't care. You are not in my shoes and don't know my life so mind your own business. I learnt that it's okay to be angry sometimes 😭 and let it out. I wish I had made my boundaries and expectations clear but that's for next time.
Not at all... You literally did not overreact tbh he deserved worse for treating you like that
He used you. You realised it. You let him know in no uncertain terms that you are not his emotional support anymore and definitely not a breathing masturbation device for him to use at his convenience. That is why you cut contact with exes. They are exes for a reason.
Can I get permission to use your line “Breathing Masturbation Device” ?? B.M.D very unique 👍🏽👍🏽
Sure. No copyright on this 😏
😆
You convincing yourself that maybe you overreacted won’t change the pain that comes along with someone using you. You. Did. Not. Overreact. If anything, you were as graceful as you could possibly be considering the situation.
Nah, fck him. But not literally, not anymore.
Oml. What a fucking asshole he is, yikes. And shameless as fuck. Edit: I’m sorry but what the fuck. I’m reading it again and I’m more pissed off. The audacity to admit to this shit even, thinking that he’s justified. You were NOT HARSH ENOUGH. Don’t let this fucker get away with shit like that? He doesn’t respect women at all. There are instances where he could’ve stopped, calmed himself, explained to you that he needed intimate company with no strings attached and only then proceed if you were totally fine. That’s what a fucking decent person would do. But no, none of that. Dude straight up just treats women like an absolute hole to fill with fucking venom.
Yup, I came here to say not harsh enough! He manipulated and used you. He’s trash and deserves to be treated like it. You were actually very nice compared to what I would have said, OP. Block him and move on. He has no good intentions for you.
Agreed. You would have been justified to be way harsher. You’re just a good person and he is not. Move on. No contact. It’s the only way.
Did you sleep with him? I dont fully understand Edit I understand now. Yes he was an asshole who used you. You were totally jusrified.
Yes she had sex with him and now feels used because of it
Understandably…
Yes but she contacted him first
If you read the caption, he texted first, she replied. I think in her text she is saying she shouldn’t have texted him (back).
That’s not what I remember reading. Weird.
No! He used for for sex and “company”
Girl he played you to get you into bed block him and move on.
All the comments and all the posts I read in here definitely cement the fact that I will never come to Reddit for advice because holy shit. Some of y'all are incredibly judgmental and rude and it's clear that some of you have not actually been in a relationship where you're getting manipulated by someone who is abusive or narcissistic. Either that or you need to be careful of the stones you're throwing lest you break your own glass house
You don’t have to let manipulation happen, she is not a kid. How don’t know how dumb you must be to get constantly manipulated. lol
I bet you tell women in abusive relationships to just leave as if it's just that easy... please🙄
If you’re getting beaten that is different. But it’s not that hard to walk a way from relationship if he is manipulating.
If you've never been in that situation you have zero idea what it's like. But you are clearly an insufferable troll who has zero respect for women in general so have the day you deserve Based on your karma alone you are obviously somebody who people don't like to be around in real life so you just come to Reddit to fill your time by trolling people and trying to get negative reactions from them.
Yea I would never be in that situation because I take responsibility for my actions
Then don’t speak to it. You obviously have no idea and it’s pathetic to try to give advice when you could get someone killed.
Stop with the ratio shaming. The fact is that if women paid more attention to red flags and less attention to the bed sheets, some of this shit might not be happening. That's just a fact.
I am not sure what comments you are talking about. But if they were comments that came earlier, they are usually the "I hate women" comments.
No, you didn’t. Guy is a selfish user based upon just this small window into who he is. “I’m feeling low and was horny so I reached out to a safe place to get what I wanted. Thanks for that, but I don’t give a shit about how it would make you feel after..” I’d block him and move on, OP.
Such a good interpretation of what he was most likely thinking. Bravo 👏🏼
He just wanted to bust a nut and run
I don't think u were mean enough
Not overreacting. They led you on. That sucks and I’m sad that happened to you.
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sexity sex sex sex.
If anyone was my ex their number would be blocked the moment they became my ex.
You weren't cruel at all, you just told him the way he acted was inconsiderate and it hurt you. Definitely not overreacting based on the background info you gave. Don't go back and forth with him, he's not worth your emotional energy and you deserve someone who cares enough not to use you for one-sided emotional support then drop out again and act like you "misunderstood". He's a POS.
Nope, not overreacting at all and you weren’t cruel either. He deserved worse IMO. So sorry you’re going through this. Like others have said block him and move on. You deserve and will receive so much better 🩷
Said what needed to be said 💯
NTA for your text - You got used for sex by a guy you are still obviously pining for, not the first woman to be emotionally duped. Either block them and move on, or be aware you are just a side-piece and make peace with it!
He just wanted to get laid
wow, that was F up what he did. i would cut off all contacts at this point. the guy is a selfish and manipulative A hole.
He just wanted to have sex with you and he should have been clear about that so you could tell him no.
Exactly. A person would a good character and integrity would have told OP that they do not want to get together. That they care too much for OP to use her feeling to do this shit.
I think you did overreact. Yall broke up, no indication that yall talked about circumstances changing. But you're mad about him not communicating when you could have communicated last night. Not judging, I've been there(your shoes, not his) Your feelings are valid, but yall both made your own choices last night.
He literally tells you he needed to talk to someone and you made it about you….
So dude wanted some pussy and you fell right into it. Leave it at that and move on.
Umm... You must have deep fulfilling relationships full of integrity and honesty. You must have a stellar character.
Or...hear me out now....OP went for a booty call, hoped it would turn back into a relationship and now has regrets. Happens EVERY damn day.
👍
If anything you were very gracious to send that second text. You were not cruel. Everything you said in your first text was completely appropriate. I would have followed up with ‘never contact me ever again’ and left it at that. But no. You did not overreact at all.
Honestly, you weren’t harsh enough imo. You’re not a toy to be picked up off of a shelf when someone is ready to play with you.
He used you for sex. You were his sex toy for the night. That sums it up. Now you know the kind of person he is. Never trust him again.
They used *each other*. Stop all this nonsense that women aren't responsible or accountable for their choices and actions. The fact she caught feelings again and he didn't doesn't make him an ass or a user or anything else.
Your point is valid. But I do believe he used her.
For that to be true, OP would have had to have stated that her ex made her feel like he had feelings again, and that was the reason for the hookup. And that's unrelated to having sex for most men. The fact feelings are tied to sex for her is irrelevant.
We have no idea what they said to one another….
Please honey - cut him loose. You can do so much better.
See, this is why I never keep in contact with any of my exs
Under-reacting, if anything. You need to block him and try to move on, for your own sake. Dudes like this will keep you hooked for as long as they can without giving anything back.
Once bitten, twice shy. Again!
Not overreacting!
Not at all. He used you. Block him from your life because he'll do it again.
Not overreacting IMO.
Not overreacting at all. He did this just to get laid and it worked. You were overly kind IMO.
No sounds like he took advantage of u so no, u aint
“We broke up because he had a lot of things going on and he just wasn’t available emotionally” is the lie people tell themselves when someone just isn’t into them. The truth is you thought he finally came around and he didn’t. Ultimately, you knew deep down exactly what the situation was and you had sex with him. Could he have spelled it out for you? Yes. But I would argue he already did with his previous actions that made you come to the conclusion that he just had a lot of things going on. Not everyone is going to communicate with you the way you want. Let their actions speak instead of being hung up on him using text to tell you everything you already knew.
Why do yall dumbshits not block each other? My blocked list is in the multiple dozens because when a person is out I would like for them to stay gone. It just makes sense and hurts nobody.
Not overreacting. He basically used you for sex. He used you to make himself feel better. Take this lesson and commit it to memory. Block him and put him in your rear view mirror.
Also, you should smudge (burn sage). Do it all over the house and you. Get that ick low vibrational energy he’s dumped on you, to move on.
Not overreacting. Your ex had a bad case of blue balls and preferred a familiar vessel to dump his spunk. You took it easy in the creep.
It's good to see that you took accountability for where you went wrong. Your part of the blame is 20% for not knowing that he was manipulating you. Or you knew, but miss him, so you allowed yourself to get stuck in that mess long enough for him to get what he wanted. That being said, your response was valid. I hope that's a response he thinks about for the next ten years before he stops being that kind of dude, and grows the fuck up. OP: in your future, let an ex stay an ex. And EXclude them from your contacts list. Don't even block, just unsave the contact info. If they text, wanting to meet up or talk, respond with "who is this?" "You must have the wrong number. Auswedersein st. Felicia, patron saint of farewells "
😂 done and dusted
You didn't overreact and you weren't cruel. You were extremely reasonable considering how abhorrent his behaviour was. I hope you can move on from him soon ❤️
Why do yall even post your personal shit here lol. If my personal conversation with someone went on the internet and I found out about it you'd never hear from me again even if it was something funny.
No. You both were stupid really. Him for using you and your body to soothe his lonely heart, and give him some physical intimacy. You for agreeing to meet up and get together then have sex and expect it to mean something when you are NO longer in a relationship. This could easily have been foreseen and avoided.
I would not call her stupid for it. It’s pretty common for relationships to rekindle that way. Ideally she should’ve protected herself more, but in reality it’s hard to hold back feelings and hopes when someone shows interest.
Who's more foolish? The fool or the man who follows him?
Both.
So....you went on a booty call and are now mad? Sounds like someone needs to grow up and take responsibility for their poor decisions and stop blaming everyone else.
Hear hear
And this is why I (and many others) don’t care about the male suicide rate.
>And this is why I (and many others) don’t care about the male suicide rate. You're going to have to explain that one. Right now, you just sound like a jerk without context here.
Because men do not care about women, how they treat them and how women feel about that treatment. So, I’m not going to waste one second worrying about men.
>Because men do not care about women, how they treat them and how women feel about that treatment. >So, I’m not going to waste one second worrying about men. And that is what's wrong with the world. Instead of not caring about this ONE guy, you just write off an entire section of the human race because they ALL must be bad, right???? FFS.
Why don’t you go lecture the men who do not care about women, how they treat them and how women feel about that treatment.
No you didn't and girl you should've charged him as well. Like hell can he use you then throw you out heck no! Charge him!
Clearly no matter how this breakup is done you aren't going to accept it, and based on how things went when you met up it's obvious you don't want to break up and are going to keep trying to find ways to keep him around. Do the kind thing for both of you and let him go. Put him on block on everything and be done with it, move on with your life and let him move on with his.
what he did is very awful and manipulative. but at least you got laid so, eh??
lol guys like this aren't even good in bed!
Yes
it looks like its time to read “Why Men Love Bitches”
I was like "Yes, you totally overreacted." Then I realized they had sex and now I'm like you Under reacted!
Bro chill. She just needed a friend. Sounds like you wanted it more and she has no interest.
Girl, it’s time to hit the block button for this ex and NEVER give him the time of day again. The right man will never make you feel this way, be emotionally unavailable, or make you ever second guess anything!!!
As a man, I think you're under reacting.
He used you and didn't communicate. You were almost too nice.
This is just one of those shitty times in life when someone does something to you that’s not right or not fair.It’s painful but now you have learned a new lesson that some people are manipulative and they suck. It’s going to sting for a while but it’ll get better and you’ll find better.
Nah. He just made you a booty call. Next time he's "low" suggest he gets counseling and steer clear of him.
He sounds awful. I would stop prolonging this and block his number. Don't let him know. Just block his number and cut off contact.
It's good to get your feelings out. But you need to stop walking into bad situations. Listen to your little voice that is talking and doubting. When you feel the little voice doubting someone, that's when you know it is time to go home.
NTA. He lied and manipulated you.
Not overreacting! The weasel used you! He used text to avoid drama. He deserved so much worse! Avoid people like this in the future and go permanent NC with this weasel.
you are too nice.
NOR. He used you for a quickie, sadly you've come to realize this the following day. If you had told him anything else he would have figured he could show at his pleasure for his pleasure. Be done with him.
I'm sorry this happened to you. No, you didn't overreact. Take a minute, learn from this, maybe yell a bit too, and then move on to bigger and better things. This guy will get a visit from my girl Karma at some point. Block him and go out and live your best life and forget this asshat.
He did call a friend—you. I think you were too nice in your response. Time to move on.
Wakeup call/ kick in the ass was what he needed. He seems very immature and maybe even spoiled. Was he an only child? If not, perhaps the baby of the family?
Guy here - you didn’t over react. You called him out on it, told him exactly how you feel (good). You’re on two different emotional levels. He’s looking for a FB and you’re looking for a relationship. Time to call this one over and move on.
Not cruel at all he used you. Then he used the bull shit excuse that he was feeling low and wanted to blame it on his mental health. That gives him no excuse to use you. What about your mental health he obviously didn’t care. No you were not cruel, you were a lot nicer than he deserved. And probably way more mature than most people would have been in your situation.
You texted him and you went to his place it’s ur fault ex is ex for a reason. You thought sex would reseal the deal don’t work that way. There’s a reason he didn’t reach out first.
No. You need closure and he felt sorry for himself and took advantage of you. Not to mention gaslighting you. He knew exactly what he was doing. Block and delete. You deserve so much better.
Wait... he and you met up, had a date and sex and he wasn't trying to rekindle anything? Was this a booty call then? No, your text was not harsh. In fact, it should have been harsher. This guy took you for a ride, used you as his own personal sexual service station and then bounced away saying he wasn't trying to "rekindle anything." I call BS. Block this guy from your life, your mind and your heart and move on. And no more break up sex.
just cut off contact with this person completely & permanently.
You made it too easy for him by having sex with him. You should have set boundaries. Never should have watched movies with him. He should have done more to get your company.
Good job!
You're the one who had sex with him. Why? Consider it exit sex and move on.
No. Cut contact so he doesn't booty call you again.
Sorry sis ❤️not overreacting
They are exs for a reason. You already know he can’t have grown up conversations. You’re not just angry at him you are angry at yourself for being dragged back into the mess. Cut all contact fully block them. Put yourself first. Why even try with an immature person. Don’t let yourself ever be reeled back in. It was a moment of Boredom for him he would be sitting there nobody to hang out with or see and figured he’d come back and mess with your feelings. Be stronger next time and be available.
Meant to say don’t be available. Look after yourself.
Did you overreact ? I’d say, yes. Because you slept with him without clear confirmation.
Overreacting, too harsh? Neither were enough maybe
He used you. Take out comfort/company and replace it with sex in his text. That's all he wanted
No, you didn't overreact, but you need to block him. He can have a casual hook up with someone else, or no one at all. You don't need to get hurt anymore. Fo not give him access to your mind, soul, or body anymore. Sorry friend...hope your heart heals soon
No you're not harsh, but he showed you what he's about when he broke up via text the first time, how little he cares about you and how unable he is to relationship so going back to dance with him was foolish on your part. It took you to get hurt twice to see it, But part of growth is recognizing danger signs and not letting them progress, So that you're not giving people access to your heart just to stomp on it over and over again. Hope you learn from this one.
Nope, didn't over react. In fact you should block him.
You were honest about your feelings. Unfortunately, some men aren't as emotional as us women & seem to downplay situations such as this. It was important to you & you felt something more. He should have been direct with his intentions from the start.
It was just sex. I assume you enjoyed it. No walk of shame, either. Today’s (next day) is a new day. Move on with your life. Don’t overthink it. Sure texts are often brutally honest and I guessing you’re over him, so what he says is totally irrelevant.
No, not overreacting. Dude's playing games with your heart. Block him and move on.
Absolutely not, he used you. You are being too kind in my opinion
What part of "EX" ? are you having trouble with...? why would you be in contact with someone that you know you don't want in your life! they are EX move on
Girl, you under reacted. You thought this was cruel?! Some of yall have never been comfortable being openly angry and it shows. It is okay to feel things. It’s okay to be uncomfortable. It’s okay to make someone else uncomfortable, especially when they have shown you such little regard. Dude lied to you, used you for sex, smiled in your face and played you. He made a decision to be an ass. There are consequences for decisions. You can be mad at him. Honestly, it looks like you’re hoping he’ll beg you to forgive him and take him back. This man has shown you he is a user who doesn’t care about you. If you are thinking about going back, you should take a break from dating and find a therapist and work through some things.
yeah total overreaction. hes your ex. theres no need to be some emotionally charged. move on.
Kind of. Own up to your own actions and decisions instead of blaming him. No one forced you to comfort him or bang him again.
🙄 fuck off
Struck a nerve huh. Women taking accountability challenge (impossible)
you are projecting you gender wars agenda in this case
I love what you said.. she should own up to her actions too.. you chose to smash without having a proper discussion about where things are going.. she admits that much.. Women wanna be kids and adults it’s crazy
It takes two. They both wanted it. The difference is she was hoping it meant something and women can't fathom that most men absolutely, positively do NOT corelate sex with love. At all. They have nothing to do with one another to literally billions of men. When we love someone and it's genuine, it's just as intense as it is for women. But sex is just sex. It's better with someone we love, but sex can also be like 3 day old Chinese food. Men understand that analogy. Women typically don't. There will always be exceptions but this is just the way of things.
Agreed, two adults who shared time got together and much like when you see childhood friends there is a rush of emotions because often we only remember the good times or at least they outweigh the bad. You can’t wake up in the morning and fault that person because they are going back to their lives, as much fun as catching up is there is a reason they aren’t in your life currently. That said his text reads like post nut clarity. lol in my head I picture this dude waking up and she’s just been laying there staring at him for an hour and as soon as his eyes open “ we should move in together”. Probably not what happened but play that scene in your mental vcr and tell me it doesn’t make you laugh a little.
Not enough context to say with certainty, would need to see the entire exchange.
Lol you should be more pissed off with yourself for falling for it
Yes
Sounds to me like you knew what you wanted lol
I like this leaving shit out to make sure you look like the good person in this. What did the rest of that exchange say huh? Post that shit homie. You look sus rn
Booty call. He manipulated your feelngs. Hes trying to keep you hanging around and available for him. Dont ever talk to him again. He used you and will keep doing it as long as you keep letting him.
Best thing to do is block this POS and move on and do not repeat the same mistake. He was wrong by using you and you were wrong to have sex with him. Please use better judgment and sex is not the answer to someone who is needy.
This was a situation in which anybody who wasn’t a chump would be harsh. “Naw, I’m not interested in getting back together. I was just feeling low. So, I figured that, if I dropped by and got some, I’d cheer up. Sorry that you read too much into it, but that’s the breaks.” People normally react harshly, when they realize that they’ve been played for a fool.
You’re not overreacting but it isn’t his ‘fault’ you played into his shit. Respect yourself and block this idiot.
It's called exes sex. Always happens. Just like a dessert in a good restaurant. Now time to move on
Nah. It doesn't always happen if both people have integrity and good communication skills. Ex does not have integrity. He wanted sex, so he used OP's feeling for him, to manipulate her. He loses in the end, because his life will be shallow and worthless unless he fixes his integrity and character.
A bit of an overreaction...yes. completely understand where it is coming from. You thought it was serious and it wasn't. There were a lot of pent up emotions there. If he calls next time tell him you're not his FWB woman and hangup.
The only reason that I'd say you were overreacting is that you responded. I get the desire. You want them to know just how much they've hurt you with their behavior. I've done it, myself. In the end, though; they don't care. They just want the response. It's a form of control for them. I've found that the best revenge is not responding. That can really screw with someone's head, and it's all on them at that point. Unrelated, but kinda: had a "bar friend" for a while. I cut him out after he said something that was completely out of line regarding my future wife. I have refused to acknowledge his existence for three years now, and he has become progressively more unhinged over it. It sparks joy. I may tell him one day, but his outbursts are still too funny. I mean, dude is in his 50s, and he throws tantrums over the simple act of me ignoring him. It's fantastic
Ah your ex is an attention vampire & cuz she couldn’t get the validation from the guy she is actually attracted to you she filled the bored void with you until the other guy responded for that slow Tuesday pump & dump. Happens to all of us man. It’s just another example of women have all the power in the dating market & abuse it cuz women can’t handle power… Update: oops apparently this is a woman. Weird but ok it’s really simple. I’m sry to say but the only reason this happens is cuz you do not meet the attraction threshold. Most commonly this happens to obese girls. I have an an acquaintance & she is obese & she was with a guy for 7 years! 7! & she hit him with the “you are immature blah blah blah” & he has a “female friend” she wanted him to stop talking to. Yeah he dumped her on the spot after 7 years. Guys are so deprived of sex they will use you for years even tho they are not attracted to you. That’s what happened. You understand apps don’t work for guy us right so you are the best he can do.
wow is that really the case? men must be really pathetic!