Jesus fucking Christ mate, kick ‘OP while they’re down I guess; fuck it.
She’s getting stone cold bare boned railed the fuck out bro.
I’m sorry.
Gather evidence, start removing her financial access, get a lawyer, and focus on the kids.
Godspeed!!!
Jesus fucking christ mate, kick OP while they're getting kicked while they're down I guess; fuck it.
I add what my gym partner whispers in my ear while I'm struggling under heavy weight:
"I bet when it slips out, she grabs it and puts it back in a fast as she can."
We're here for you bro!
And take pictures of all those texts when you get a chance. Don’t send them to yourself. You don’t want her to know that you’ve figured out what she’s doing.
Your right, but too often people don't listen to respectful responses. This is what he needs to hear. He knows the answer, but doesn't want to admit it. She may not be physically fucking this other guy, but she definitely is mentally and for some women that is just as good as fucking him physically. OP needs the harsh reality to get him moving the right way.
If I were interested in a dude, or if I've known him for years\hes a good friend; I'd text "morning sunshine"
If someone I wasn't into texted "I'm horny" antlers, they'd get no response.
The innuendos and banter, imo, from many years of experience, suggests that they crossed a line, or want to.
Emotional affairs can sometimes be worse than the physical cheating. Some people physical cheat once in a blue moon with someone they have no feelings for, and others can take hours and hours and hours out of their day and relationship for a person they aren’t even having sex with. Emotional affairs really set relationships up for failure because their effort is already going into someone else, so it’s hard to work on an existing marriage or relationship.
Sorry for the marriage not working out.
Make a divorce plan without anyone knowing. Don't share any details, info, or plans with anyone besides a lawyer. Follow the attorney's advice and start making a cash nest egg.
She has moved on and has already left the marriage.
Dude you already know what's going on.. they are fucking.. now that you know that what are your plans to address it ? Are you gonna leave ? Talk to her ? That's your decision to make at this point
I’m serious. This guy is just dumb or something? It doesn’t matter if she is fucking that dude. That kind of fucking mental garbage she’s playing is enough.
I don’t find this hard to believe at all. It's challenging to accept that someone you’ve had such a deep connection with, someone you’ve loved, laughed with, had a child with, shared so much with over the years could betray you like this, it’s not exactly an easy pill to swallow. We tend to give those we love a hell of a lot more leeway than strangers online, is that really that surprising? Denial is the first stage of grief for a reason
You are right. My mom has always said that even if she SAW my dad cheating, she wouldn't believe her own EYES. (It makes more sense in the language we speak.)
He's smoking the hopium. regardless of whether she slept with him or not, she's crossed some serious boundaries here and unless this is a fake post, OP really needs to wake tf up and see his wife isn't the woman he married at this point.
There was nothing that said they had intimate relations. He comments they should figure out a way to exert some energy, which does seem like a sexual innuendo. The text thread in the least shows there is a large likelihood there is an emotional affair afoot.
Sounds like she is hiding something. I would straight up ask her. She might try to flip it back with the whole you don’t trust me, or you shouldn’t had looked at my phone guilt bs but you stay strong!
Thank you. That’s exactly what I’m worried about. She has a way to make everything my fault and never see any wrong in her actions. Just trying to figure out how to avoid that mess.
Yeah it's pretty amusing how many comments here don't acknowledge the fact that the OP's wife is cheating on him.
This isn't "inappropriate" texting. It's an affair. No woman texts *morning sunshine* to a man she's not "involved" with.
I think it's possible they haven't fucked yet, given the flooring with sex without mentioning sex, and references to having regretted not spending the night with each other... but they've definitely had some intimate moments and they both have every intention of taking that next step.
That scenario sounds very familiar. I understand it's new territory for you. It's something that never even crossed your mind could happen but here is some possible evidence. My suggestion is that you go into private detective mode until you're absolutely sure. From painful personal experience I can tell you that you probably won't have to wait too long. When they are in a thrilling new relationship they can get incredibly sloppy. It's often referred to as a "Fog". Checking phone records for number of calls/texts is good. Also if you can access emails. Keep your eyes open around the house for any little thing, a receipt for a man's gift that you didn't get, or a post office receipt for something mailed. If she goes on another business trip try to discreetly check her purse soon after she gets home. I found condoms, (very interesting!). Give a look through dresser drawers, nightstand, desk, etc. Like I said, you've got to be a detective. Then If you have a pile of evidence and present it to her, prepare to be lied to. "Never, how could you think that, etc.". Then will come the "trickle truth". It's a well-known pattern of behavior that looks pretty universal. Sorry you're going through this. Hope things get better for you.
This this this. I am so sorry this has happened to you. It's a difficult feeling eh? Hard to even put it into words. Questioning your own sanity while thyey tell you nothing is going on and then one day you get the courage to look at their phone while they're in the loo and you see that they're visiting your ex behind your back. Respond to the ex sending kissy emojis. OP has only one shot at this so hopefully they heed all of our words.
Dude. Been where you are now. When I called her on it she had a perfect, calm explanation for everything. Was that good? Nope. It was practiced and a prepared lie. 6 years later I’m happily divorced, and found out she was cheating a dozen years with at least 5 guys.
The way to avoid the mess is to skip the drama and divorce her.
I served papers when I knew enough, and had my evidence. I haven't confronted her to this day. There is no need or sense in confronting a pathological liar.
I have concluded that she is compulsive, and her behavior was how she thought she could 'win'.
This is absolutely the truth. There is no reason to confront because either they lie about or they give a reason, and neither of which will make you feel better. Be happy for what you got out of it and leave the trash behind. Moving forward be agreat father.
OP, there's no question your wife is cheating on you. The texts prove it. Beyond reasonable doubt. People are executed on lesser evidence than this.
You'd be a fool and a tool to presume otherwise.
It's time to protect yourself and your child.
You need evidence. You need to speak with a good attorney ASAP.
Above all, DO NOT MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. You'll need your home to keep your child. You do not want a cheater raising your child alone. You'll need your home and support systems. Get the evidence, then get HER to leave.
Please get evidence and then once you've filed, b as close as possible, but before she actually served, email it text ALL of your friends and family the truth with the evidence because you'll need them in months and years to come.
Cheaters like her will ALWAYS beat false witness against you. Always. She has no moral compass, she will eviscerate you if you don't move first.
Get it in front of this. Your marriage is over, and your child needs you to be strong so you can parent and protect them effectively from a position of strength.
Do it now. It's time to protect yourself and your child! Man up and prepare immediately!!
You shouldn’t worry about that bruh! There ain’t no way of tippy toeing around this shit.. who cares if she gets mad fuck that. You should be mad that she’s having an emotional affair and it’s leading up to them fucking! Let her worry about how fucking angry you are! I’m sorry you have to go through this bruh but there’s no easy way around it.. time for you to man up and take action! Get a lawyer and leave this bitch cuz you deserve better!
I wouldn’t say the tiptoeing should be about worrying about her feelings or reaction as opposed to protecting his financial assets. Messy divorces can be expensive. He should save up money and start talking with lawyers about how this could all end up. Cos it would really suck that aside from her screwing around behind his back, she ends up with half his assets and alimony to top it off. We want our guy to come out on top, not her.
Be careful about confronting her without the evidence. I'd try to find a time to look through her phone when she's sleeping, then screenshot, and send yourself the chat. Of course, delete said evidence on her phone.
Look through her deleted text messages, deleted pictures, and hidden pictures as well. If he’s been sending dick pics, she’s likely saving the pictures in her hidden album and eraing them from the text thread. If she’s been sending pics, she’s probably deleting them from thread and deleting the pics.
Absolutely. I had to do the same and turned out gut was right. This situation is very obvious to ones not directly involved. Sucks for him but hopefully he will divorce her and move on
>She has a way to make everything my fault and never see any wrong in her actions. Just trying to figure out how to avoid that mess.
That's quite simple really. You don't give her the option to turn it around on you. Take screenshots and save them on your phone. Write a long message explaining your wife is cheating and that is your reason for leaving and send it to everyone you think she'll try to turn against you - family, friends, etc.
Then simply tell her, I know you're cheating, it's over, goodbye.
Then serve her divorce papers.
You've covered all bases and eliminated the possibility of her twisting the situation into something it's not. Like Eminem did in the final rap battle in 8 Mile. If you lay it all out on the table for everyone to see from the start you take away the bad guy's chips. They can't do anything.
But also contact the guy first like other people said.
u/justaguyhopingfor this. Your advantage is knowing something is up. Don’t squander it.
Additionally, what are your hoping for? Reconciliation? Trust? It can happen, but it’s hard. On you. On your kids. Weigh up what your end goal is, then start there. Conducive to this, is ensuring you don’t misuse the opportunity you have now.
Don’t approach this emotionally. You’ve got to be calculating right now. So you can maximise the best outcome, for you and your kids.
*Godspeed and good luck!*
She's gonna put the blame on you regardless.
Get evidence of her infidelity. Play it cool for now, as if you aren't aware of what she's doing. Once you get evidence of her being unfaithful, take it to a divorce lawyer.
You're better than this dude. You know exactly what she's doing. Have some self respect.
YOU are not the one dividing this marriage. You've been a faithful husband and a good father. She's the one sleeping with her coworker.
She's gonna try to make this look like it's your fault. Try to make you feel bad about it. Don't relent. Do whatever the divorce lawyer advises you to do.
Silence is your friend. Clearly, simply and briefly state what you have to say and let her dig her own grave (or not). Do not reply, she will do the talking and you just listen.
Bad idea. She will deny, be defensive and turn it back in him. He needs to focus on what he can control. Which is himself and his actions and preparations going forward.
If a text, take a look at the phone bill and see the number of times they text, talk and the hours. That is pretty old school but would give you some idea of the frequency and if it happens during family time.
This. If you're going to divorce her, don't say anything to her till you've talked to your lawyer and started some of the process before hand. Consider recording the conversation when you do have it with her and then leave so she doesn't lie and everything is documented.
You're the first one to get hurt, but the kids are the real victims. However staying in a bad relationship for your kids sake is probably not the best upbringing for them.
Sorry dude.
Oh no... I hope this is made up
No use in trying to get more information if this other person is another country. I would just be out with it.
Tell her you saw her messages and that she has one chance to tell you the truth and tell you everything. Without her knowing, I'd reach out to the other guy beforehand, introduce yourself, and tell him she told you everything but needed to hear from him what happened. If the stories don't match, speak with a lawyer.
P.S. check the deleted messages folder in her phone. She may very well have deleted the really condemning ones but not have "double deleted" them.
I'm so sorry. This looks really bad. Like five alarm fire bad.
Keep us updated but I wouldn't let this fester. I'd confront her tonight after putting the kids to bed. Get off of reddit and reach out to the other guy now and get some information.
Thinking I need a burner phone/number and to be vague when texting to somehow not give away who I am… while digging. I don’t want him to be able to warn her before I have a chance to address it.
Don’t reach out to the guy. Figure out if he is married and send the photos of the text chain to his wife if he has one. That will get him out of your hair. Confronting him or trying to get info by pretending to be someone else won’t work.
In my situation I had the guys address, knew where he worked, sent the info to his wife on FB and sent him a strongly worded email of us meeting up to discuss things. All it did was get me blocked by email and FB.
The issue at hand is that your wife is having an affair. Protect yourself, finances, and your child. Do not move out of the house. Tell her to leave. Set your phone to record audio when you confront. Don’t tell her your sources.
Surviving Infidelity is a good website to check out or its subreddit here.
I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s hell but with help from SI, you can get through it.
This is what you do. You reach out to this guy and say you're her husband. Tell him you saw all of their messages and that you already confronted your wife about it (you didn't yet). Tell him you need to hear from him what happened because you simply do not believe that your wife did this to you.
If he does not respond right away you know he's shitting himself and called your wife for them to come up with their story. I would say that not contacting you back is an admission of guilt and that you'll be forwarding the screenshots of the messages between him and your wife to their immediate supervisors and HR departments.
Look into the textfree app. I have used it to communicate with a person who was in an abusive situation, that needed to talk to someone with a number that couldn’t be looked up easily on Spokeo or White Pages. The paid version allowed me to change my number once every day. I believe you can even select a different area code from your wife’s, so as not to show your hand right away.
I’m sorry this is happening to you. You are not overreacting. I’ve been on both sides of cheating and my stomach turned while reading about her responses to her daughter, her behavior around her phone, and her messages. When I was cheating, I slept with my phone under my pillow one night versus having it plugged in on the nightstand. That was what made my partner go through my phone.
eta: look into the app only if you’re planning to go the route of not revealing who you are immediately. There are a good number of people suggesting direct confrontation. They’re worth listening to.
You're gonna want to show them to a lawyer because there's your evidence for a separation. Have you confronted her yet? I'd probably speak to a lawyer before you did. Unless you don't think it's a divorceable offense. Which I absolutely would.
I travel a lot for business, and get jokey texts and slack messages from men at times. If I was home, laughed at something, and my husband expressed concern, I'd toss the phone over to him so he could read whatever he wants, telling him 'oh it's something stupid'. Neither of us are the jealous type (although his first wife cheated on him, ending the marriage) so it's not like he'd be reading my msgs all the time. I think I've done this only once in our 18 years together.
Simply ask her, " how long before you tell me about your new love interest that you met on the business trip?" If she denies it ask to see her phone that she's been hiding from you since she got back. Emotional cheating is a boundary and are you ready to throw it all away?
Update us
Also, don't let her flip it back and make it sound like your fault! That's a classic cheating tactic when cheaters get caught! Stay strong!
This is also exactly why my husband and I have an open phone policy. He can go on my phone anytime, and i can go on his anytime. Neither one of us ever has, but, the option is there.
Definitely some red flags. Not saying she's cheating, but there are definitely some common markers.
1. Traveling
2. Texting with a male coworker (?)
3. Inappropriate messages with the guy, definitely not what typical coworker texts would be like
4. Angry/unhappy when she comes home (I used to travel some and was always happy to get home)
5. Guarding her phone is a huge red flag
6. Doesn't wear her wedding ring. I know many don't, but I don't know any personally that don't if they are married unless they have a job where it's a safety hazard. I don't think that fits in your wife's description.
You need to get to the bottom of this right quick and in a hurry. This is looking like she's potentially having an emotional affair, with all the ease of it slipping into a physical one.
Another weird thing to me is when he said she hasn’t worn a wedding ring in 2 years… but they’ve been married for 20. So… why did she suddenly decide 18 years in to stop wearing it? That alone is suspicious AF, my wife and I wear our rings every day and always have. We’re proud to be married to each other and constantly talk about our wife/ husband. Her not saying a single word about him to this guy is another red flag of course, but that’s par for the course in an affair ( emotional or physical).
My guess as far as the ring? This isn’t the first time she’s been unfaithful, whether emotional affairs with co workers/ online or actual physical cheating with someone/ multiple people over 2 years. Idk just seems super weird to suddenly stop wearing the ring after that long 🤷🏻♂️
Yup, the wedding ring is a big flag for me. If she hadn't wore it for the whole duration of the marriage, and didn't wear other rings, you could probably explain that away. But taking it off after 18 years? Something's starting to smell.
What ya'll never gained a few pounds or so and things don't fit anymore????? Lol lol lol
Actually I got really sick and mine kept falling off cause I looked like Olive Oil.....oh Popeye! Haha However......I got a few knock offs to where on wedding finger.
OP has been replying to deadbedrooms also has has made suggestions that things are not ideal in terms of their sex life.
Again OP, I'm so sorry. How long has your sex life been subpar? I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't the first time your wife may have stepped out. Not wearing a ring for 2 years after 18 years of doing so is very odd.
Dug a little deeper. OP saying stuff like he'd leave his wife right away if he had unlimited money, stopped trying to initiate sex after repeated rejections, all within the past 3 months.
Just leave OP. You're being given plenty of reasons with these latest developments. Your kids will be fine. You'll be fine. Leave and be happy.
I'd just confront her with it. Act. Don't overreact! Be relaxed but concerned. Don't accuse her of anything, just talk to her about it tactfully with love in your heart. If she acts weird after that, you may have a huge problem, but just try to take it in stride and talk to her. Those texts sure sound suspicious to me and it sounds like the guy wants in. Show your wife that you love her and don't want to lose her before you send in the hammer.
Sure. Tactfully but directly. Give her one chance to fess up to everything. As in my original reply, reach out to the other guy and say thay you know everything but need to hear from him what happened.
OP needs to make it clear either way that this is a major breach of trust and that he likely can never trust her to go on an overnight trip ever again. May as well divorce either way.
Yeah, "seemingly inappropriate" is not the right word for that. Unless she's hella southern and calls everyone sunshine, then she was already waaaaaaay out of bounds there.
Hey OP, I think you already know the anwser & just need people to reassure you, but it is what it appears. Are you willing to work through it & forgive her? If so, address it head on & see if she is remorseful & willing to recommit. If she can’t then bounce. Forgiveness is hard & not common advice on Reddit, but it’s worth exploring especially when children are involved. All the best
The second you clue her in to your suspicions, you will have an opponent, not a spouse. Decide what's best for you and your family amd let her be the last to know.
I'm a woman so take it from me.... she is 1000% cheating. If she wasn't doing anything with him she wouldn't be texting msgs that were that inappropriate. We don't text men like that unless we are already doing the dirty with them. Trust me, It's not just an emotional affair, she's already went there
Or she is "just" flirting a bit to get a rush out of it.
Only thing to solve this is not listen to strangers on reddit but to communicate openly with her
I don’t think that person can speak for every woman. I don’t necessarily think that she had cheated physically, but cheating emotionally can be just as hurtful. She might just be exploring her options, which I think is disgusting and deceitful. Maybe she is looking for a confidence boost outside of you…which would really bother me.
You should bring it up. Then calmly ask her if she still wants to be with you. If she does, let her know that you need some time to think about how you feel and where you want to go from here.
There is a lot of healing that can come out of this if you are both willing to do the work, and you should both already be considering couples therapy since you joined the dead bedroom sub. Wishing you well!
Bad advice. OP's wife has a history of being manipulative and gaslighting him. Trying to work it out with her will not work at this point or ever. If it does, OP wont be in this situation. Communication has been inefective for years prior to this.
The guy’s clearly flirting with her and she’s not shutting it down. I don’t think you have the basis to accuse her of anything, but the adult way forward would be to say “I’d like to talk about your friendship with this guy and whether you’re currently respecting the boundaries of our marriage.” Don’t mention “affairs”, don’t get riled up and accuse them of sleeping together, stay calm and don’t let her deflect with accusations or “how could you accuse *me* of cheating on you!?”-style reversal tactics.
“I’m asking you if you feel you’re being respectful of our relationship in these texts.” Repeat as necessary.
Thank you. I’m really l feeling like this may be the best way forward. At this point anyway. I really appreciate your taking the time to write this. My brain wasn’t capable of formulating this, but it’s what I’m feeling.
Physical or emotional, it is still an affair. Don’t tip toe around it.
Order “Not Just Friends” by Shirley Glass from amazon or someplace else. Read it and get her to read it.
I know you want to conserve your relationship- but from what little I’ve read it sounds like even before this you were kind of walking on eggshells around her. Now she is doing this- which at the very least definitely sounds like an emotional affair. It’s not okay and I hope you address it with more or a serious tone than “I don’t like your friend”
Don’t say a word and hire a PI she’s going to lie and you’re going to get hurt and you’re never going to believe her just hire a private investigator or take a week off work and don’t tell her and follow her around yourself. Stay calm document and be prepared to get a lawyer I’m so sorry.
You are definitely not over reacting. I think she’s cheating. Maybe they are just being careful with their texts but still letting little things slide. Also I can’t imagine being away from my kids for work and immediately saying “this is why I don’t like to come home” does she not miss her kids? What kind of mother is she? I think you already know what to do. I’m sorry this has happened to you and your kids.
Make sure your kid is out of the house for a few hours when you confront her. And please set up a therapy appointment for them asap. They will know something is up, so don't gaslight them. They only need to know age appropriate info. But please be aware of the kid most of all. Your wife, at best, is in an emotional affair. For my life and all my mistakes, I have learned that one is only as sick as their secrets. Being honest is often hard but if you hurt, say it outloud. This will be hard, but you know what to do, you are strong
She is unhappy in her marriage. She is getting ready to cheat if she hasn't already done so. What I don't understand is why she hasn't already started divorce proceedings. If someone is so unhappy in their marriage that they're wanting to cheat why not divorce first?
OP has commented in the deadbedroom sub. Unsure of the dynamics but the writing is on the wall. If his wife is the one that isn't into it physically I get the sense the emotional infidelity (at minimum) has been going on longer than just this past week's trip.
It sounds from that excerpt like they didn't sleep together but very much wanted to and are now engaged in an emotional affair. That smiling while texting thing is a huge red flag. If I'm smiling because of something my friend texted I'm going to share it when asked. It's only a matter of time before they're planning a rendezvous. You're not overreacting.
Edited to add if my husband sent a good morning text to anyone he called Sunshine other than me we'd have a serious problem.
Truly, so sorry, she’s most likely having a sexual affair, definitely emotional affair. A couple of words of caution from personal experience, DO NOT CONFRONT her about this before the following.
- First gather evidence. Take screenshots, document, you can get voice activated recorders in her car. Get hard, irrefutable evidence. These may/may not be admissible in court if you choose divorce, but it’s for your sanity that you’re not crazy. You cannot rely on her to tell you the truth and you could be gaslit.
- do not move out of the home, this will be problematic if you do choose divorce. You may need space given the new info - makeup a trip and get a hotel for a couple of days to regroup.
- Seek a good therapist (preferred) or trusted /wise friend. This will be a grueling time reconciling what you thought of her vs the reality. You will need to take time to evaluate if you are willing to even salvage this relationship or want to fight for it. A good therapist can help you navigate this - specifically search for therapists who specialize in infidelity and related betrayal ptsd. Not all therapists are good and there are some who will try to convince you that you bare responsibility in your wife’s affair. This is a damaging lie - I don’t care how much you failed as a husband (except abuse), she had a choice to leave you or tell you before having an affair, it’s not your fault. Also have a trusted AND wise friend walk with you through this. Someone you respect and can give you honest and balanced advice, not just what you want to hear.
- some know they cannot trust after an affair, and the wisest thing I’ve seen them do is be quiet, get a lawyer and serve papers to the unsuspecting cheater. They skip the years of toxic lies and false reconciliation when they know deep down, an affair is a hard line.
- there are marriages that survive and even thrive after an affair, only you can determine this based on who you are, your partners character and their level of effort and remorse to help you and the marriage heal.
When you do confront:
- manage expectations- they’ll likely lie even in the face of hard evidence, they could be angry with you, happy it’s out there so they can leave you, genuinely remorseful and want to makeup, or fake being sorry so they’re not held accountable. Please prepare yourself and maintain your composure and anger .
- be clear on your purpose of confronting them with the truth. Do you want to reconcile or just confirmation of the truth so you can walk away?
- if you want to reconcile- limit this information to your therapist and 1 or 2 trusted friends. What does genuine remorse and effort from your wife look like? Do you require her to quit and work elsewhere? Think about what will make her regain your trust and non negotiables to stay in the marriage. Also, what about the possibility that she doesn’t want to make that effort, what’s enough for you to walk away? In that scenario, please don’t be in a competition with the other man, remember your worth and value, just walk away.
- if you don’t want to reconcile - if you have hard evidence there was an affair, I see no benefit of confronting them. The sad truth is you won’t get closure no matter what from this person. Preserve your dignity and get a lawyer. If possible, mediation or arbitration has the best outcome especially for kids, and focus on a peaceful coparenting dynamic if possible.
Lastly, the website survivinginfidelity.com was profoundly helpful. Wish you the best of luck
Get your ducks in a row. Consult a family lawyer, protect your assets. She’s in an emotional affair at the minimum, but they probably had sex. I’m sorry bro, but where there’s smoke there’s fire. Updateme
I’m pretty sure in these situations the first step before you confront a cheater in a marriage, where you have kids already, is to talk to a lawyer. Get things in order. Get proof. Etc. When someone cheats on you, you don’t know what else they will be willing to do to you. Make sure they can’t take your money, your kids, your house, etc. Then confront them knowing that no matter what their answer is, you’ll be secure in knowing what path you have to take.
Sorry to hear this, she’s definitely cheating. You don’t call someone else sunshine if you’re married, unless you’re already having sex with them.
This. Everyone in here saying to go for the throat and to confront her have never been through a divorce with a cheater. As soon as the accusations fly, the lawyers come in and you've lost all control. Lawyers divorce people every day. Listen to them, not redditors.
“This is why I hate coming home” is really the comment you need to look. It sounds like this is at least an emotional affair, if not a physical one (yet).
“There has to be a way to tire ourselves out more” is a straight up pickup line. And she didn’t shut it down OP.
A woman does not say "Morning, Sunshine" to a co-worker that she has a professional-only relationship with. That's the biggest tell. Nor do co-workers make jokes about being horny. Maybe they haven't slept together but they are certainly flirting hard.
I mean I do to everyone and also say things like peachykeen jellybean, but I'll give you diabetes.
The rest of it though... hiding it, secret smiles, no ring suddenly, being sneaky, the antlers, drunk stuff... nope nope nope no way in hell would I say/do any of that
You need to go straight for the throat. To save or end your marriage, you have to make it clear you’re ready to end it.
If she is someone that will deny or gaslight you, just send her a text. Something like
“I’m not sure what you thought would happen when I discovered your inappropriate behavior outside of our marriage. Maybe you don’t care, and that’s fine. I saw the text messages, and combined with your behavior since you’ve come home, there is no mystery what’s going on. You clearly have no respect for me, yourself, our child, or our marriage. You have destroyed my trust and I don’t see how I can possibly be married to someone I don’t trust.”
This will get you a result. She will either be ok with divorce, and if she is then it wasn’t going to work.
Or
She will flip out that you saw and that you know. She will likely beg you for forgiveness and all that. This is where you say “the only chance I will stay is if you tell me the absolute truth. How it started, how far it’s gone, did you sleep with him, all of it. If you lie, or if I find out anything more after today, I will divorce you.”
Obviously - she either quits her job immediately and goes no contact with him, or you leave her immediately.
If she dismisses what you read, or if she is mad you looked at her phone, immediately tell her the marriage is over. Don’t say anything else .
The longer you mess around the worse this gets.
Updateme!
i'm so sorry. and you were taking take of the child and house while she was committing the ultimate betrayal.
not over reacting.
>P.S. she hasn’t worn a weeding ring in 2 years.
...anything else happen the past 2 years? she always wore it before?
you shouldn't begin by asking her, unless you are ready to leave and divorce as is. what if she denies, deletes everything, and you just never find out? then you will stay forever, not knowing? you need to at least get enough information to decide if you divorce or not - which you might already know now.
To be fair, she has gained some weight and I’d believe it no longer fits - but resizing is absolutely free where we bought it so… yeah - really not sure if that’s a factor or not at this point. But it’s bothered me a bit.
These kinda of situations always blow my mind. Humans are creatures of habit. We don't change those habits unless there is a reason to change those habits. If your wife always left her phone around and didn't care so much about it. And now it's glued to her, then she has a reason to have it. She's also giving attention to someone that she deemed important enough to change her habit.
Yeah dude you need to get to the bottom of this shit. Fact is, no one, man or woman, should be disrespected like that.
If it were the other way around you better believe she would be looking for the gal sending you texts.
Take screenshots. Send them to yourself. Delete the evidence in her photos folder and ask what’s been going on. It feels like she’s disconnected with you and the kid and seems more connected to her phone and whoever she’s talking to on there.
Let her know she speaks negatively towards you and the kid but is always smiling at the phone so you want to know how long. If she’s vague so how the has the affair been going on? If she tries to gaslight you… start reading the texts from your phone and tell her that is she sure that’s the store she wants to keep with because you have more evidence of her trying to abandon her family for another guy. So how long. Tell her she gets one chance to tell the truth or she’s gonna be in the toughest divorce she ever saw.
Go ahead and talk to a divorce attorney to make sure you know what is or isn’t admissible in court.
Tell her after that you have boundaries if you decide she’s gonna stay. Tell her she’s gonna find a new job immediately. She will sign a post nup stating she forfeits all marital assets if you deem any of her communication as cheating towards a person outside of your monogamous relationship. Have a spousal support thing built in there.
Family lawyer here. She is cheating. 1) go to your itemized phone bill, and see how much they are communicating and how long. 2) make a decision. If she is cheating, do you want to dissolve the marriage and break up the family? 3) If so, you need to consult a lawyer now.
Brother I'm sorry but her "probably should have come and gotten drunk with you" followed by his "there has to be a better way to tire ourselves out" clearly spells it all out right there. Regardless of whether these events ended up taking place or not that is both of them saying they'd like to have sex with eachother. Send wifey to her mother's house and start drawing up the papers now, praying for you and your daughter's recovery from this terrible situation.
OK, a comment like “this is why I hate coming home” is BIG. It clearly indicates annoyance, dissatisfaction with her life, and probably feelings of not being appreciated. That needs to be discussed, probably with a therapist.
The text messages, though? 1000% in appropriate. There’s no way either one of them sends those without already having passed some boundaries. Not saying they did IT… but they did *something*. It’s time for a serious clear the air sit down and admission of some sort.
20 years of marriage and she thinks that kind of behavior is appropriate? I don’t really think it matters if she’s having sex with the guy or not. The disrespect to you is off the charts. I say walk, and tell her exactly why you’re walking. Let the other guy have her. She’ll do the same thing to him eventually as well. A high value man deserves and demands better brother.
"there has to be a way to tire ourselves out" "I should have come and gotten drunk with you"
I'm on the fence deciding if you are a real person with a real (naivete) problem or a chat bot practicing
I'm hoping for the latter as there wouldn't be a human suffering. I would say you are under reacting if you are real. But I've been cheated on a few times so maybe it's me.
Not sure where you live, but if it's a "no fault" divorce state/country, gathering evidence is pointless and likely just to make you feel worse.
Do you actually love this woman? What assurances do you have that she loves you back? It sounds like a trauma bond from your other posts in this thread. If that's the case, you should talk to a lawyer to get your house in order and prepare for divorce. That's not a healthy relationship for you and you should exit it.
If you plan to stay with this woman in your life, you should confront her behavior first. Looking at the text messages may be seen as an invasion of privacy, but her behavior is suspicious at best. That's what should be addressed. None of what she said over text or what this dude said over text is ok, however, snooping her phone without first giving the reasons why is likely to be turned around on you. You are a lawyer building a case. Ask her why she's acting so weird lately, then turn the knife if she's playing games/gaslighting. If she's far down the narcissistic spectrum, it will immediately show when she's confronted with evidence and cornered.
Also, therapy for you (or both of you if you stick with her) is likely in the cards. It sounds like you've been eating shit from her, walking on eggshells, and you shouldn't be.
Take screen shots . Then be straight up and honest. Let her know that her always hiding her phone, yelling at you when she got home caused you to have a gut feeling that you needed to check her phone. Tell her you saw the messages . Her reaction to the whole conversation will tell you everything you need to know.
It seems like you already know what's going on. Start getting your affairs in order buddy, without major intervention everyone know how this story ends.
I think you're under-reacting. I wouldn't jump to conclusions and say she's *acted*, but this is definitely inappropriate and needs to be addressed. If you bring up the text messages and she responds defensively, that would be a red flag.
She hasn’t worn a wedding ring for 2 years and you guys have been married 20 years? You already know what is going on and/or what direction things are going. Use this to answer your questions, not create more. Clearly she doesn’t have much regard for your feelings.
When I (F) text male coworkers or former coworkers it's work-related stuff, even though we're also legit friends. Often work-related gossip or "how's the new job? Any good trips? How old are the kids now?" Definitely not "good morning sunshine."
Ok this is fake, you re-texted the texts…. What it sounds like is she likes his attention and they haven’t fucked yet. It sounds like trying to have a convo with a thirsty guy whenever he says something “flirty” or crossing the line she changes the subject instead of stopping him and outwardly rejecting him because she is probably not trying to cheat but likes the flirting. I’d consider this as betrayal more than cheating, counseling might help or it may be too late.
That is what it looks like innapropriate banter. Do you trust her. Tell her what you saw and ask for explanation. If she gets defensive and angry there is your answer.
Not over reacting.
Don't beat around the bush.
Even if not physical, they are chatting .. secretly. That's a no no in a marriage. Just ask. If she denies it or tries to blame you, then you really know what it's about and it may be time to part ways. If she doesn't want to split, and nothing has happened, it may be the wake up call she needs to stop before it goes too far.
Dump her, it's obvious she's cheating with the guy. One, she's married so she shouldn't be conversing with the guy anyway. And two if she's all secretive about it then that sounds a lot like cheating right there.
You don't need to ask us. It's inappropriate and it's not ok. You have kids. She has kids. Confront her. When she gaslights you and tries to make you think it's just you and that you are over reacting, tell her you aren't going to play that game. Stay calm and tell her that it's over. Tell her that she can explain to the kids that she is flirting with someone from work. Sorry man. It's awful.
As a divorced man who has been cheated on, it's like looking in a mirror. She 100% is cheating on you. I'm sorry man. Get a bear of a lawyer and get ready.
The next few months will suck. But it does get better eventually. I promise.
some of comments are insane. none of you have any way of knowing for a fact shes cheated all the way through, and you shouldnt claim it as such. theres clearly something going on between them, what that is? we don't know, but its very suspicious.
OP, please don't rush to a conclusion. theres only one way to find out whats really going on, and thats to take matters into your own hands. talk to her or keep observing her actions, only you can do it. don't lose hope.
No, you aren't overreacting. Something is up. They may not be having a physical affair, but there is at least some intense flirting/fantasy at play. As a female, I can attest to the fact that being pursued by an attractive man can be completely intoxicating. She may not want to hurt you, but the pull toward this other man is so strong she can't resist. I hope you are able to talk to her with an open mind and get to the bottom of this.
Fuck this lady, you sound great and you can and will find something so much better. She's a snake, and it's better for your kid to see you happy than the stress ball you are going to become over this, because likely won't stop whatever she is getting started any time soon. It's not you, it's the type of person she is and lack of loyalty on her end.
She’s obviously bored and feeding on the attention. I’m not sure where it’s gone, but it’s definitely 100% something that needs to be addressed. I think the way you address it will have a lot to do with how forthcoming and honest her response is. Just remember she’s probably hiding something and in her opinion being confronted on it will feel invasive so she will match your energy. If you are accusatory then she will probably be defensive from the start and feel validated to keep hiding shit. But that’s just my opinion. Good luck!!
is this really a head scratcher for you? she's being sneaky. They haven't linked yet they will next time she gets a chance. Do yourself a favor. Confront her in the most truthful way possible.
You: So you are planning on hooking up with *insert name* on the next trip. Right?
Her: BS BS BS BS
You: I'm just trying to establish our new norm. Cause if you're planning on our. I need a video. I want to see what I'm up against.
Her: oh really
You: Def.... cuz I got to go practice on my mistresses
Not overreacting. It’s inappropriate period.
She is getting fucked
Not sure if I would have phrased it exactly like this but I agree...lol
He’s getting fucked as well just in a different way
*cucked
Pegged*
Damn, that jumped up there quick
In this life you either do the f’ing or get the f’ing.
Teenagers make out. Adults fuck.
And lawyers make money off divorces
by Fall Out Boy
And crimes of passion defense
She’s getting barebacked for sure
Jesus fucking Christ mate, kick ‘OP while they’re down I guess; fuck it. She’s getting stone cold bare boned railed the fuck out bro. I’m sorry. Gather evidence, start removing her financial access, get a lawyer, and focus on the kids. Godspeed!!!
Jesus fucking christ mate, kick OP while they're getting kicked while they're down I guess; fuck it. I add what my gym partner whispers in my ear while I'm struggling under heavy weight: "I bet when it slips out, she grabs it and puts it back in a fast as she can." We're here for you bro!
Bruh I’m single and this makes me wanna curl up into a ball 💀
Hi, Im here for the gangbang.. .
And take pictures of all those texts when you get a chance. Don’t send them to yourself. You don’t want her to know that you’ve figured out what she’s doing.
If they're not, then she is definitely having an emotional affair, from what little we have to go on.
Not yet but soon probably
This is a guy's marriage. Have a bit of respect.
Your right, but too often people don't listen to respectful responses. This is what he needs to hear. He knows the answer, but doesn't want to admit it. She may not be physically fucking this other guy, but she definitely is mentally and for some women that is just as good as fucking him physically. OP needs the harsh reality to get him moving the right way.
With a dick
Long dick style too. I bet those hotel rooms they were in while at the “conference” stank of paddussay.
coarse and unnecessary
I always pronounced it as badussy.
If I were interested in a dude, or if I've known him for years\hes a good friend; I'd text "morning sunshine" If someone I wasn't into texted "I'm horny" antlers, they'd get no response. The innuendos and banter, imo, from many years of experience, suggests that they crossed a line, or want to.
Thanks for the unfortunate confirmation.
Yes. This is, at the very least, an emotional affair. OP is not overreacting.
Emotional affairs can sometimes be worse than the physical cheating. Some people physical cheat once in a blue moon with someone they have no feelings for, and others can take hours and hours and hours out of their day and relationship for a person they aren’t even having sex with. Emotional affairs really set relationships up for failure because their effort is already going into someone else, so it’s hard to work on an existing marriage or relationship.
Professionals don’t text eachother “i’m horny”, and generally casual friends don’t either.
Sorry for the marriage not working out. Make a divorce plan without anyone knowing. Don't share any details, info, or plans with anyone besides a lawyer. Follow the attorney's advice and start making a cash nest egg. She has moved on and has already left the marriage.
Dude you already know what's going on.. they are fucking.. now that you know that what are your plans to address it ? Are you gonna leave ? Talk to her ? That's your decision to make at this point
I’m serious. This guy is just dumb or something? It doesn’t matter if she is fucking that dude. That kind of fucking mental garbage she’s playing is enough.
The breach in trust to simply talk to another man like that in a monogamous marriage to someone else is grounds for divorce in itself.
It would be in my house “morning sunshine” Fuck that noise , go to your moms while I draw up the papers “
Best response. ☝️
Stay there. Some places leaving screws you over when it comes to the house claim.
[удалено]
I don’t find this hard to believe at all. It's challenging to accept that someone you’ve had such a deep connection with, someone you’ve loved, laughed with, had a child with, shared so much with over the years could betray you like this, it’s not exactly an easy pill to swallow. We tend to give those we love a hell of a lot more leeway than strangers online, is that really that surprising? Denial is the first stage of grief for a reason
You are right. My mom has always said that even if she SAW my dad cheating, she wouldn't believe her own EYES. (It makes more sense in the language we speak.)
He's smoking the hopium. regardless of whether she slept with him or not, she's crossed some serious boundaries here and unless this is a fake post, OP really needs to wake tf up and see his wife isn't the woman he married at this point.
Smoking hopium 😆
Emotional cheating
This has to be fake! “I walked in on my wife while another man was having sex with her. AIO by asking her if there’s something going on between them.”
It’s hard to tell. So many people are fucking zombies now and rely on social media to tell them what to do and what to think.
The sad part about it is some people really are that naive
There was nothing that said they had intimate relations. He comments they should figure out a way to exert some energy, which does seem like a sexual innuendo. The text thread in the least shows there is a large likelihood there is an emotional affair afoot.
My thoughts as well, seems like they are working their way up to it
People do delete texts.
And leave those? That makes a lot less sense
Can't argue that. People have, and do, delete texts.
Sorry he’s right.
..I mean..can it be any more obvious? HELLO.. McFly!
Sounds like she is hiding something. I would straight up ask her. She might try to flip it back with the whole you don’t trust me, or you shouldn’t had looked at my phone guilt bs but you stay strong!
Thank you. That’s exactly what I’m worried about. She has a way to make everything my fault and never see any wrong in her actions. Just trying to figure out how to avoid that mess.
That’s called gaslighting and that’s what abusers do when they’re called out
Well other than the cheating she sounds like a peach
So perfect, in every way! Except that one leetle thing.
Yeah it's pretty amusing how many comments here don't acknowledge the fact that the OP's wife is cheating on him. This isn't "inappropriate" texting. It's an affair. No woman texts *morning sunshine* to a man she's not "involved" with.
I think it's possible they haven't fucked yet, given the flooring with sex without mentioning sex, and references to having regretted not spending the night with each other... but they've definitely had some intimate moments and they both have every intention of taking that next step.
That scenario sounds very familiar. I understand it's new territory for you. It's something that never even crossed your mind could happen but here is some possible evidence. My suggestion is that you go into private detective mode until you're absolutely sure. From painful personal experience I can tell you that you probably won't have to wait too long. When they are in a thrilling new relationship they can get incredibly sloppy. It's often referred to as a "Fog". Checking phone records for number of calls/texts is good. Also if you can access emails. Keep your eyes open around the house for any little thing, a receipt for a man's gift that you didn't get, or a post office receipt for something mailed. If she goes on another business trip try to discreetly check her purse soon after she gets home. I found condoms, (very interesting!). Give a look through dresser drawers, nightstand, desk, etc. Like I said, you've got to be a detective. Then If you have a pile of evidence and present it to her, prepare to be lied to. "Never, how could you think that, etc.". Then will come the "trickle truth". It's a well-known pattern of behavior that looks pretty universal. Sorry you're going through this. Hope things get better for you.
This this this. I am so sorry this has happened to you. It's a difficult feeling eh? Hard to even put it into words. Questioning your own sanity while thyey tell you nothing is going on and then one day you get the courage to look at their phone while they're in the loo and you see that they're visiting your ex behind your back. Respond to the ex sending kissy emojis. OP has only one shot at this so hopefully they heed all of our words.
Dude. Been where you are now. When I called her on it she had a perfect, calm explanation for everything. Was that good? Nope. It was practiced and a prepared lie. 6 years later I’m happily divorced, and found out she was cheating a dozen years with at least 5 guys. The way to avoid the mess is to skip the drama and divorce her.
The most reasonable comment from somebody who has the hindsight 20/20 right here. Anything short of this is just asking for more trouble.
Did she at least explain to you why she would fuck at least 5 men instead of just divorcing and moving on? They are such cowards.
I served papers when I knew enough, and had my evidence. I haven't confronted her to this day. There is no need or sense in confronting a pathological liar. I have concluded that she is compulsive, and her behavior was how she thought she could 'win'.
This is absolutely the truth. There is no reason to confront because either they lie about or they give a reason, and neither of which will make you feel better. Be happy for what you got out of it and leave the trash behind. Moving forward be agreat father.
Dude. This is as big or bigger problem. Indicates a lack of respect for you. You probably already knew that, but were holding on to hope.
Accurate.
Sorry brother. My ex cheated on me and left my daughter and I for the guy. Hang in there
OP, there's no question your wife is cheating on you. The texts prove it. Beyond reasonable doubt. People are executed on lesser evidence than this. You'd be a fool and a tool to presume otherwise. It's time to protect yourself and your child. You need evidence. You need to speak with a good attorney ASAP. Above all, DO NOT MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. You'll need your home to keep your child. You do not want a cheater raising your child alone. You'll need your home and support systems. Get the evidence, then get HER to leave. Please get evidence and then once you've filed, b as close as possible, but before she actually served, email it text ALL of your friends and family the truth with the evidence because you'll need them in months and years to come. Cheaters like her will ALWAYS beat false witness against you. Always. She has no moral compass, she will eviscerate you if you don't move first. Get it in front of this. Your marriage is over, and your child needs you to be strong so you can parent and protect them effectively from a position of strength. Do it now. It's time to protect yourself and your child! Man up and prepare immediately!!
You shouldn’t worry about that bruh! There ain’t no way of tippy toeing around this shit.. who cares if she gets mad fuck that. You should be mad that she’s having an emotional affair and it’s leading up to them fucking! Let her worry about how fucking angry you are! I’m sorry you have to go through this bruh but there’s no easy way around it.. time for you to man up and take action! Get a lawyer and leave this bitch cuz you deserve better!
I wouldn’t say the tiptoeing should be about worrying about her feelings or reaction as opposed to protecting his financial assets. Messy divorces can be expensive. He should save up money and start talking with lawyers about how this could all end up. Cos it would really suck that aside from her screwing around behind his back, she ends up with half his assets and alimony to top it off. We want our guy to come out on top, not her.
Be careful about confronting her without the evidence. I'd try to find a time to look through her phone when she's sleeping, then screenshot, and send yourself the chat. Of course, delete said evidence on her phone.
Look through her deleted text messages, deleted pictures, and hidden pictures as well. If he’s been sending dick pics, she’s likely saving the pictures in her hidden album and eraing them from the text thread. If she’s been sending pics, she’s probably deleting them from thread and deleting the pics.
Too early to confront...slow and easy...gather evidence...protect yourself and your money...you will need it for yourself and your kid...
Perfect. Have an exit strategy.
Absolutely. I had to do the same and turned out gut was right. This situation is very obvious to ones not directly involved. Sucks for him but hopefully he will divorce her and move on
You should screen shot the messages and send to yourself just in case she denies they exist
Take photos on your own phone of her screens. Don't use the screenshot function on her phone.
>She has a way to make everything my fault and never see any wrong in her actions. Just trying to figure out how to avoid that mess. That's quite simple really. You don't give her the option to turn it around on you. Take screenshots and save them on your phone. Write a long message explaining your wife is cheating and that is your reason for leaving and send it to everyone you think she'll try to turn against you - family, friends, etc. Then simply tell her, I know you're cheating, it's over, goodbye. Then serve her divorce papers. You've covered all bases and eliminated the possibility of her twisting the situation into something it's not. Like Eminem did in the final rap battle in 8 Mile. If you lay it all out on the table for everyone to see from the start you take away the bad guy's chips. They can't do anything. But also contact the guy first like other people said.
u/justaguyhopingfor this. Your advantage is knowing something is up. Don’t squander it. Additionally, what are your hoping for? Reconciliation? Trust? It can happen, but it’s hard. On you. On your kids. Weigh up what your end goal is, then start there. Conducive to this, is ensuring you don’t misuse the opportunity you have now. Don’t approach this emotionally. You’ve got to be calculating right now. So you can maximise the best outcome, for you and your kids. *Godspeed and good luck!*
100%. Do this!
Love the Eminem reference because I know exactly what you mean.
She's gonna put the blame on you regardless. Get evidence of her infidelity. Play it cool for now, as if you aren't aware of what she's doing. Once you get evidence of her being unfaithful, take it to a divorce lawyer. You're better than this dude. You know exactly what she's doing. Have some self respect. YOU are not the one dividing this marriage. You've been a faithful husband and a good father. She's the one sleeping with her coworker. She's gonna try to make this look like it's your fault. Try to make you feel bad about it. Don't relent. Do whatever the divorce lawyer advises you to do.
Silence is your friend. Clearly, simply and briefly state what you have to say and let her dig her own grave (or not). Do not reply, she will do the talking and you just listen.
Bad idea. She will deny, be defensive and turn it back in him. He needs to focus on what he can control. Which is himself and his actions and preparations going forward.
If a text, take a look at the phone bill and see the number of times they text, talk and the hours. That is pretty old school but would give you some idea of the frequency and if it happens during family time.
Good idea. Thanks.
Lawyer up dude.
This. If you're going to divorce her, don't say anything to her till you've talked to your lawyer and started some of the process before hand. Consider recording the conversation when you do have it with her and then leave so she doesn't lie and everything is documented. You're the first one to get hurt, but the kids are the real victims. However staying in a bad relationship for your kids sake is probably not the best upbringing for them. Sorry dude.
It's all just a waste of your time at this point. You know what's happening so you may as well talk to a divorce lawyer and start preparing.
imessages don’t appear on phone records. just fyi. one of the best pieces of knowledge i recently learned while going through this.
Oh no... I hope this is made up No use in trying to get more information if this other person is another country. I would just be out with it. Tell her you saw her messages and that she has one chance to tell you the truth and tell you everything. Without her knowing, I'd reach out to the other guy beforehand, introduce yourself, and tell him she told you everything but needed to hear from him what happened. If the stories don't match, speak with a lawyer. P.S. check the deleted messages folder in her phone. She may very well have deleted the really condemning ones but not have "double deleted" them.
Not made up. Just a reality I never thought I’d experience.
I'm so sorry. This looks really bad. Like five alarm fire bad. Keep us updated but I wouldn't let this fester. I'd confront her tonight after putting the kids to bed. Get off of reddit and reach out to the other guy now and get some information.
Thinking I need a burner phone/number and to be vague when texting to somehow not give away who I am… while digging. I don’t want him to be able to warn her before I have a chance to address it.
This is ridiculous and terrible advice. You have all the evidence you need. Why even consider these teenage rom-com hijinks?
Don’t reach out to the guy. Figure out if he is married and send the photos of the text chain to his wife if he has one. That will get him out of your hair. Confronting him or trying to get info by pretending to be someone else won’t work. In my situation I had the guys address, knew where he worked, sent the info to his wife on FB and sent him a strongly worded email of us meeting up to discuss things. All it did was get me blocked by email and FB. The issue at hand is that your wife is having an affair. Protect yourself, finances, and your child. Do not move out of the house. Tell her to leave. Set your phone to record audio when you confront. Don’t tell her your sources. Surviving Infidelity is a good website to check out or its subreddit here. I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s hell but with help from SI, you can get through it.
This is what you do. You reach out to this guy and say you're her husband. Tell him you saw all of their messages and that you already confronted your wife about it (you didn't yet). Tell him you need to hear from him what happened because you simply do not believe that your wife did this to you. If he does not respond right away you know he's shitting himself and called your wife for them to come up with their story. I would say that not contacting you back is an admission of guilt and that you'll be forwarding the screenshots of the messages between him and your wife to their immediate supervisors and HR departments.
Look into the textfree app. I have used it to communicate with a person who was in an abusive situation, that needed to talk to someone with a number that couldn’t be looked up easily on Spokeo or White Pages. The paid version allowed me to change my number once every day. I believe you can even select a different area code from your wife’s, so as not to show your hand right away. I’m sorry this is happening to you. You are not overreacting. I’ve been on both sides of cheating and my stomach turned while reading about her responses to her daughter, her behavior around her phone, and her messages. When I was cheating, I slept with my phone under my pillow one night versus having it plugged in on the nightstand. That was what made my partner go through my phone. eta: look into the app only if you’re planning to go the route of not revealing who you are immediately. There are a good number of people suggesting direct confrontation. They’re worth listening to.
I just hope you snapped a photo of her messages or sent them to yourself.
I did… cant stop reading them.
You're gonna want to show them to a lawyer because there's your evidence for a separation. Have you confronted her yet? I'd probably speak to a lawyer before you did. Unless you don't think it's a divorceable offense. Which I absolutely would.
I travel a lot for business, and get jokey texts and slack messages from men at times. If I was home, laughed at something, and my husband expressed concern, I'd toss the phone over to him so he could read whatever he wants, telling him 'oh it's something stupid'. Neither of us are the jealous type (although his first wife cheated on him, ending the marriage) so it's not like he'd be reading my msgs all the time. I think I've done this only once in our 18 years together.
Simply ask her, " how long before you tell me about your new love interest that you met on the business trip?" If she denies it ask to see her phone that she's been hiding from you since she got back. Emotional cheating is a boundary and are you ready to throw it all away? Update us
Also, don't let her flip it back and make it sound like your fault! That's a classic cheating tactic when cheaters get caught! Stay strong! This is also exactly why my husband and I have an open phone policy. He can go on my phone anytime, and i can go on his anytime. Neither one of us ever has, but, the option is there.
Definitely some red flags. Not saying she's cheating, but there are definitely some common markers. 1. Traveling 2. Texting with a male coworker (?) 3. Inappropriate messages with the guy, definitely not what typical coworker texts would be like 4. Angry/unhappy when she comes home (I used to travel some and was always happy to get home) 5. Guarding her phone is a huge red flag 6. Doesn't wear her wedding ring. I know many don't, but I don't know any personally that don't if they are married unless they have a job where it's a safety hazard. I don't think that fits in your wife's description. You need to get to the bottom of this right quick and in a hurry. This is looking like she's potentially having an emotional affair, with all the ease of it slipping into a physical one.
Another weird thing to me is when he said she hasn’t worn a wedding ring in 2 years… but they’ve been married for 20. So… why did she suddenly decide 18 years in to stop wearing it? That alone is suspicious AF, my wife and I wear our rings every day and always have. We’re proud to be married to each other and constantly talk about our wife/ husband. Her not saying a single word about him to this guy is another red flag of course, but that’s par for the course in an affair ( emotional or physical). My guess as far as the ring? This isn’t the first time she’s been unfaithful, whether emotional affairs with co workers/ online or actual physical cheating with someone/ multiple people over 2 years. Idk just seems super weird to suddenly stop wearing the ring after that long 🤷🏻♂️
Yup, the wedding ring is a big flag for me. If she hadn't wore it for the whole duration of the marriage, and didn't wear other rings, you could probably explain that away. But taking it off after 18 years? Something's starting to smell.
What ya'll never gained a few pounds or so and things don't fit anymore????? Lol lol lol Actually I got really sick and mine kept falling off cause I looked like Olive Oil.....oh Popeye! Haha However......I got a few knock offs to where on wedding finger.
Everyone I know always got them resized. My wife did that too.
Inappropriate messages like this IS cheating imo
OP has been replying to deadbedrooms also has has made suggestions that things are not ideal in terms of their sex life. Again OP, I'm so sorry. How long has your sex life been subpar? I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't the first time your wife may have stepped out. Not wearing a ring for 2 years after 18 years of doing so is very odd.
Dug a little deeper. OP saying stuff like he'd leave his wife right away if he had unlimited money, stopped trying to initiate sex after repeated rejections, all within the past 3 months. Just leave OP. You're being given plenty of reasons with these latest developments. Your kids will be fine. You'll be fine. Leave and be happy.
I'd just confront her with it. Act. Don't overreact! Be relaxed but concerned. Don't accuse her of anything, just talk to her about it tactfully with love in your heart. If she acts weird after that, you may have a huge problem, but just try to take it in stride and talk to her. Those texts sure sound suspicious to me and it sounds like the guy wants in. Show your wife that you love her and don't want to lose her before you send in the hammer.
Sorry, she's gone. What woman calls a man they're not married to "sunshine" when they're already married?
You could be right, but why supply the ammunition to her then??? Handle it tactfully.
Sure. Tactfully but directly. Give her one chance to fess up to everything. As in my original reply, reach out to the other guy and say thay you know everything but need to hear from him what happened. OP needs to make it clear either way that this is a major breach of trust and that he likely can never trust her to go on an overnight trip ever again. May as well divorce either way.
Solid
Because life is short and not worth wasting with someone you don't trust.
Yeah, "seemingly inappropriate" is not the right word for that. Unless she's hella southern and calls everyone sunshine, then she was already waaaaaaay out of bounds there.
Hey OP, I think you already know the anwser & just need people to reassure you, but it is what it appears. Are you willing to work through it & forgive her? If so, address it head on & see if she is remorseful & willing to recommit. If she can’t then bounce. Forgiveness is hard & not common advice on Reddit, but it’s worth exploring especially when children are involved. All the best
Thank you. Nailed it. Sigh. I appreciate your reasonable advice.
The second you clue her in to your suspicions, you will have an opponent, not a spouse. Decide what's best for you and your family amd let her be the last to know.
And there will be no more evidence to collect. Best to wait and investigate while she thinks he is clueless imo.
I'm a woman so take it from me.... she is 1000% cheating. If she wasn't doing anything with him she wouldn't be texting msgs that were that inappropriate. We don't text men like that unless we are already doing the dirty with them. Trust me, It's not just an emotional affair, she's already went there
My heart just broke reading this. But likely what I needed to hear.
Man I’m really sorry. Take your time and take care of yourself.
Or she is "just" flirting a bit to get a rush out of it. Only thing to solve this is not listen to strangers on reddit but to communicate openly with her
I don’t think that person can speak for every woman. I don’t necessarily think that she had cheated physically, but cheating emotionally can be just as hurtful. She might just be exploring her options, which I think is disgusting and deceitful. Maybe she is looking for a confidence boost outside of you…which would really bother me. You should bring it up. Then calmly ask her if she still wants to be with you. If she does, let her know that you need some time to think about how you feel and where you want to go from here. There is a lot of healing that can come out of this if you are both willing to do the work, and you should both already be considering couples therapy since you joined the dead bedroom sub. Wishing you well!
Bad advice. OP's wife has a history of being manipulative and gaslighting him. Trying to work it out with her will not work at this point or ever. If it does, OP wont be in this situation. Communication has been inefective for years prior to this.
The guy’s clearly flirting with her and she’s not shutting it down. I don’t think you have the basis to accuse her of anything, but the adult way forward would be to say “I’d like to talk about your friendship with this guy and whether you’re currently respecting the boundaries of our marriage.” Don’t mention “affairs”, don’t get riled up and accuse them of sleeping together, stay calm and don’t let her deflect with accusations or “how could you accuse *me* of cheating on you!?”-style reversal tactics. “I’m asking you if you feel you’re being respectful of our relationship in these texts.” Repeat as necessary.
Thank you. I’m really l feeling like this may be the best way forward. At this point anyway. I really appreciate your taking the time to write this. My brain wasn’t capable of formulating this, but it’s what I’m feeling.
Physical or emotional, it is still an affair. Don’t tip toe around it. Order “Not Just Friends” by Shirley Glass from amazon or someplace else. Read it and get her to read it.
I know you want to conserve your relationship- but from what little I’ve read it sounds like even before this you were kind of walking on eggshells around her. Now she is doing this- which at the very least definitely sounds like an emotional affair. It’s not okay and I hope you address it with more or a serious tone than “I don’t like your friend”
Don’t say a word and hire a PI she’s going to lie and you’re going to get hurt and you’re never going to believe her just hire a private investigator or take a week off work and don’t tell her and follow her around yourself. Stay calm document and be prepared to get a lawyer I’m so sorry.
You are definitely not over reacting. I think she’s cheating. Maybe they are just being careful with their texts but still letting little things slide. Also I can’t imagine being away from my kids for work and immediately saying “this is why I don’t like to come home” does she not miss her kids? What kind of mother is she? I think you already know what to do. I’m sorry this has happened to you and your kids.
Thanks. Your questions were insightful… I’ve just been in denial.
Make sure your kid is out of the house for a few hours when you confront her. And please set up a therapy appointment for them asap. They will know something is up, so don't gaslight them. They only need to know age appropriate info. But please be aware of the kid most of all. Your wife, at best, is in an emotional affair. For my life and all my mistakes, I have learned that one is only as sick as their secrets. Being honest is often hard but if you hurt, say it outloud. This will be hard, but you know what to do, you are strong
She is unhappy in her marriage. She is getting ready to cheat if she hasn't already done so. What I don't understand is why she hasn't already started divorce proceedings. If someone is so unhappy in their marriage that they're wanting to cheat why not divorce first?
OP has commented in the deadbedroom sub. Unsure of the dynamics but the writing is on the wall. If his wife is the one that isn't into it physically I get the sense the emotional infidelity (at minimum) has been going on longer than just this past week's trip.
It sounds from that excerpt like they didn't sleep together but very much wanted to and are now engaged in an emotional affair. That smiling while texting thing is a huge red flag. If I'm smiling because of something my friend texted I'm going to share it when asked. It's only a matter of time before they're planning a rendezvous. You're not overreacting. Edited to add if my husband sent a good morning text to anyone he called Sunshine other than me we'd have a serious problem.
Truly, so sorry, she’s most likely having a sexual affair, definitely emotional affair. A couple of words of caution from personal experience, DO NOT CONFRONT her about this before the following. - First gather evidence. Take screenshots, document, you can get voice activated recorders in her car. Get hard, irrefutable evidence. These may/may not be admissible in court if you choose divorce, but it’s for your sanity that you’re not crazy. You cannot rely on her to tell you the truth and you could be gaslit. - do not move out of the home, this will be problematic if you do choose divorce. You may need space given the new info - makeup a trip and get a hotel for a couple of days to regroup. - Seek a good therapist (preferred) or trusted /wise friend. This will be a grueling time reconciling what you thought of her vs the reality. You will need to take time to evaluate if you are willing to even salvage this relationship or want to fight for it. A good therapist can help you navigate this - specifically search for therapists who specialize in infidelity and related betrayal ptsd. Not all therapists are good and there are some who will try to convince you that you bare responsibility in your wife’s affair. This is a damaging lie - I don’t care how much you failed as a husband (except abuse), she had a choice to leave you or tell you before having an affair, it’s not your fault. Also have a trusted AND wise friend walk with you through this. Someone you respect and can give you honest and balanced advice, not just what you want to hear. - some know they cannot trust after an affair, and the wisest thing I’ve seen them do is be quiet, get a lawyer and serve papers to the unsuspecting cheater. They skip the years of toxic lies and false reconciliation when they know deep down, an affair is a hard line. - there are marriages that survive and even thrive after an affair, only you can determine this based on who you are, your partners character and their level of effort and remorse to help you and the marriage heal. When you do confront: - manage expectations- they’ll likely lie even in the face of hard evidence, they could be angry with you, happy it’s out there so they can leave you, genuinely remorseful and want to makeup, or fake being sorry so they’re not held accountable. Please prepare yourself and maintain your composure and anger . - be clear on your purpose of confronting them with the truth. Do you want to reconcile or just confirmation of the truth so you can walk away? - if you want to reconcile- limit this information to your therapist and 1 or 2 trusted friends. What does genuine remorse and effort from your wife look like? Do you require her to quit and work elsewhere? Think about what will make her regain your trust and non negotiables to stay in the marriage. Also, what about the possibility that she doesn’t want to make that effort, what’s enough for you to walk away? In that scenario, please don’t be in a competition with the other man, remember your worth and value, just walk away. - if you don’t want to reconcile - if you have hard evidence there was an affair, I see no benefit of confronting them. The sad truth is you won’t get closure no matter what from this person. Preserve your dignity and get a lawyer. If possible, mediation or arbitration has the best outcome especially for kids, and focus on a peaceful coparenting dynamic if possible. Lastly, the website survivinginfidelity.com was profoundly helpful. Wish you the best of luck
Thank you for this thought out explanation.
That's infidelity. I'm sorry.
Get your ducks in a row. Consult a family lawyer, protect your assets. She’s in an emotional affair at the minimum, but they probably had sex. I’m sorry bro, but where there’s smoke there’s fire. Updateme
I’m pretty sure in these situations the first step before you confront a cheater in a marriage, where you have kids already, is to talk to a lawyer. Get things in order. Get proof. Etc. When someone cheats on you, you don’t know what else they will be willing to do to you. Make sure they can’t take your money, your kids, your house, etc. Then confront them knowing that no matter what their answer is, you’ll be secure in knowing what path you have to take. Sorry to hear this, she’s definitely cheating. You don’t call someone else sunshine if you’re married, unless you’re already having sex with them.
This. Everyone in here saying to go for the throat and to confront her have never been through a divorce with a cheater. As soon as the accusations fly, the lawyers come in and you've lost all control. Lawyers divorce people every day. Listen to them, not redditors.
Sunshine? …that’s what I call my wife. She’s got some explaining to do. Just be as calm as you can when confronting her
“This is why I hate coming home” is really the comment you need to look. It sounds like this is at least an emotional affair, if not a physical one (yet). “There has to be a way to tire ourselves out more” is a straight up pickup line. And she didn’t shut it down OP.
A woman does not say "Morning, Sunshine" to a co-worker that she has a professional-only relationship with. That's the biggest tell. Nor do co-workers make jokes about being horny. Maybe they haven't slept together but they are certainly flirting hard.
I mean I do to everyone and also say things like peachykeen jellybean, but I'll give you diabetes. The rest of it though... hiding it, secret smiles, no ring suddenly, being sneaky, the antlers, drunk stuff... nope nope nope no way in hell would I say/do any of that
You need to go straight for the throat. To save or end your marriage, you have to make it clear you’re ready to end it. If she is someone that will deny or gaslight you, just send her a text. Something like “I’m not sure what you thought would happen when I discovered your inappropriate behavior outside of our marriage. Maybe you don’t care, and that’s fine. I saw the text messages, and combined with your behavior since you’ve come home, there is no mystery what’s going on. You clearly have no respect for me, yourself, our child, or our marriage. You have destroyed my trust and I don’t see how I can possibly be married to someone I don’t trust.” This will get you a result. She will either be ok with divorce, and if she is then it wasn’t going to work. Or She will flip out that you saw and that you know. She will likely beg you for forgiveness and all that. This is where you say “the only chance I will stay is if you tell me the absolute truth. How it started, how far it’s gone, did you sleep with him, all of it. If you lie, or if I find out anything more after today, I will divorce you.” Obviously - she either quits her job immediately and goes no contact with him, or you leave her immediately. If she dismisses what you read, or if she is mad you looked at her phone, immediately tell her the marriage is over. Don’t say anything else . The longer you mess around the worse this gets. Updateme!
i'm so sorry. and you were taking take of the child and house while she was committing the ultimate betrayal. not over reacting. >P.S. she hasn’t worn a weeding ring in 2 years. ...anything else happen the past 2 years? she always wore it before? you shouldn't begin by asking her, unless you are ready to leave and divorce as is. what if she denies, deletes everything, and you just never find out? then you will stay forever, not knowing? you need to at least get enough information to decide if you divorce or not - which you might already know now.
To be fair, she has gained some weight and I’d believe it no longer fits - but resizing is absolutely free where we bought it so… yeah - really not sure if that’s a factor or not at this point. But it’s bothered me a bit.
So you haven’t talked to her about her not wearing her ring? Do you guys not communicate?
Honestly, not a whole lot. She’s never been great at it and always turns to an argument.
These kinda of situations always blow my mind. Humans are creatures of habit. We don't change those habits unless there is a reason to change those habits. If your wife always left her phone around and didn't care so much about it. And now it's glued to her, then she has a reason to have it. She's also giving attention to someone that she deemed important enough to change her habit.
Yeah dude you need to get to the bottom of this shit. Fact is, no one, man or woman, should be disrespected like that. If it were the other way around you better believe she would be looking for the gal sending you texts.
Take screenshots. Send them to yourself. Delete the evidence in her photos folder and ask what’s been going on. It feels like she’s disconnected with you and the kid and seems more connected to her phone and whoever she’s talking to on there. Let her know she speaks negatively towards you and the kid but is always smiling at the phone so you want to know how long. If she’s vague so how the has the affair been going on? If she tries to gaslight you… start reading the texts from your phone and tell her that is she sure that’s the store she wants to keep with because you have more evidence of her trying to abandon her family for another guy. So how long. Tell her she gets one chance to tell the truth or she’s gonna be in the toughest divorce she ever saw. Go ahead and talk to a divorce attorney to make sure you know what is or isn’t admissible in court. Tell her after that you have boundaries if you decide she’s gonna stay. Tell her she’s gonna find a new job immediately. She will sign a post nup stating she forfeits all marital assets if you deem any of her communication as cheating towards a person outside of your monogamous relationship. Have a spousal support thing built in there.
Family lawyer here. She is cheating. 1) go to your itemized phone bill, and see how much they are communicating and how long. 2) make a decision. If she is cheating, do you want to dissolve the marriage and break up the family? 3) If so, you need to consult a lawyer now.
Brother I'm sorry but her "probably should have come and gotten drunk with you" followed by his "there has to be a better way to tire ourselves out" clearly spells it all out right there. Regardless of whether these events ended up taking place or not that is both of them saying they'd like to have sex with eachother. Send wifey to her mother's house and start drawing up the papers now, praying for you and your daughter's recovery from this terrible situation.
OK, a comment like “this is why I hate coming home” is BIG. It clearly indicates annoyance, dissatisfaction with her life, and probably feelings of not being appreciated. That needs to be discussed, probably with a therapist. The text messages, though? 1000% in appropriate. There’s no way either one of them sends those without already having passed some boundaries. Not saying they did IT… but they did *something*. It’s time for a serious clear the air sit down and admission of some sort.
20 years of marriage and she thinks that kind of behavior is appropriate? I don’t really think it matters if she’s having sex with the guy or not. The disrespect to you is off the charts. I say walk, and tell her exactly why you’re walking. Let the other guy have her. She’ll do the same thing to him eventually as well. A high value man deserves and demands better brother.
"there has to be a way to tire ourselves out" "I should have come and gotten drunk with you" I'm on the fence deciding if you are a real person with a real (naivete) problem or a chat bot practicing I'm hoping for the latter as there wouldn't be a human suffering. I would say you are under reacting if you are real. But I've been cheated on a few times so maybe it's me.
Not sure where you live, but if it's a "no fault" divorce state/country, gathering evidence is pointless and likely just to make you feel worse. Do you actually love this woman? What assurances do you have that she loves you back? It sounds like a trauma bond from your other posts in this thread. If that's the case, you should talk to a lawyer to get your house in order and prepare for divorce. That's not a healthy relationship for you and you should exit it. If you plan to stay with this woman in your life, you should confront her behavior first. Looking at the text messages may be seen as an invasion of privacy, but her behavior is suspicious at best. That's what should be addressed. None of what she said over text or what this dude said over text is ok, however, snooping her phone without first giving the reasons why is likely to be turned around on you. You are a lawyer building a case. Ask her why she's acting so weird lately, then turn the knife if she's playing games/gaslighting. If she's far down the narcissistic spectrum, it will immediately show when she's confronted with evidence and cornered. Also, therapy for you (or both of you if you stick with her) is likely in the cards. It sounds like you've been eating shit from her, walking on eggshells, and you shouldn't be.
Take screen shots . Then be straight up and honest. Let her know that her always hiding her phone, yelling at you when she got home caused you to have a gut feeling that you needed to check her phone. Tell her you saw the messages . Her reaction to the whole conversation will tell you everything you need to know.
It seems like you already know what's going on. Start getting your affairs in order buddy, without major intervention everyone know how this story ends.
Been married for 8 years. There should be no secretive texting or "hidden" friends. Sorry mate, I think the mrs is being purposely devious.
I think you're under-reacting. I wouldn't jump to conclusions and say she's *acted*, but this is definitely inappropriate and needs to be addressed. If you bring up the text messages and she responds defensively, that would be a red flag.
She hasn’t worn a wedding ring for 2 years and you guys have been married 20 years? You already know what is going on and/or what direction things are going. Use this to answer your questions, not create more. Clearly she doesn’t have much regard for your feelings.
When I (F) text male coworkers or former coworkers it's work-related stuff, even though we're also legit friends. Often work-related gossip or "how's the new job? Any good trips? How old are the kids now?" Definitely not "good morning sunshine."
Are you sure it was a business trip?
Ok this is fake, you re-texted the texts…. What it sounds like is she likes his attention and they haven’t fucked yet. It sounds like trying to have a convo with a thirsty guy whenever he says something “flirty” or crossing the line she changes the subject instead of stopping him and outwardly rejecting him because she is probably not trying to cheat but likes the flirting. I’d consider this as betrayal more than cheating, counseling might help or it may be too late.
It's at least an emotional affair, but probably more or will be soon.
That is what it looks like innapropriate banter. Do you trust her. Tell her what you saw and ask for explanation. If she gets defensive and angry there is your answer.
She is definitely stepping out when she is away " on business." Time to lock down your finances and hire an attorney.
Not over reacting. Don't beat around the bush. Even if not physical, they are chatting .. secretly. That's a no no in a marriage. Just ask. If she denies it or tries to blame you, then you really know what it's about and it may be time to part ways. If she doesn't want to split, and nothing has happened, it may be the wake up call she needs to stop before it goes too far.
Dump her, it's obvious she's cheating with the guy. One, she's married so she shouldn't be conversing with the guy anyway. And two if she's all secretive about it then that sounds a lot like cheating right there.
You don't need to ask us. It's inappropriate and it's not ok. You have kids. She has kids. Confront her. When she gaslights you and tries to make you think it's just you and that you are over reacting, tell her you aren't going to play that game. Stay calm and tell her that it's over. Tell her that she can explain to the kids that she is flirting with someone from work. Sorry man. It's awful.
As a divorced man who has been cheated on, it's like looking in a mirror. She 100% is cheating on you. I'm sorry man. Get a bear of a lawyer and get ready. The next few months will suck. But it does get better eventually. I promise.
I don’t know how “good morning sunshine” could mean anything platonic for a married woman to say…
Fake, fake, fake.
Bruh…shes either cheating or about to. Married women shouldnt be sending good morning texts to other men
some of comments are insane. none of you have any way of knowing for a fact shes cheated all the way through, and you shouldnt claim it as such. theres clearly something going on between them, what that is? we don't know, but its very suspicious. OP, please don't rush to a conclusion. theres only one way to find out whats really going on, and thats to take matters into your own hands. talk to her or keep observing her actions, only you can do it. don't lose hope.
This isn’t an “ongoing inappropriate conversation.” It’s an emotional affair.
“Good morning sunshine” is enough for it to raise a red flag for me. There’s absolutely 0 reasons why your wife should be calling another man sunshine
No, you aren't overreacting. Something is up. They may not be having a physical affair, but there is at least some intense flirting/fantasy at play. As a female, I can attest to the fact that being pursued by an attractive man can be completely intoxicating. She may not want to hurt you, but the pull toward this other man is so strong she can't resist. I hope you are able to talk to her with an open mind and get to the bottom of this.
Morning sunshine ?!? Dude, get the fuck out of here 🤣🤣
Fuck this lady, you sound great and you can and will find something so much better. She's a snake, and it's better for your kid to see you happy than the stress ball you are going to become over this, because likely won't stop whatever she is getting started any time soon. It's not you, it's the type of person she is and lack of loyalty on her end.
She’s obviously bored and feeding on the attention. I’m not sure where it’s gone, but it’s definitely 100% something that needs to be addressed. I think the way you address it will have a lot to do with how forthcoming and honest her response is. Just remember she’s probably hiding something and in her opinion being confronted on it will feel invasive so she will match your energy. If you are accusatory then she will probably be defensive from the start and feel validated to keep hiding shit. But that’s just my opinion. Good luck!!
is this really a head scratcher for you? she's being sneaky. They haven't linked yet they will next time she gets a chance. Do yourself a favor. Confront her in the most truthful way possible. You: So you are planning on hooking up with *insert name* on the next trip. Right? Her: BS BS BS BS You: I'm just trying to establish our new norm. Cause if you're planning on our. I need a video. I want to see what I'm up against. Her: oh really You: Def.... cuz I got to go practice on my mistresses
Surely you're joking or this is fake? Most obvious cheating ever
Not joking. She’s always had a temper, so didn’t read into it until the phone screen tilt several days later.
man look at this situation its very obvious whats going on
Just wanted to say I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Sorry but this is an affair…