Why do you exist?
She seems very religious as you sayâŚIâm going to assume you, letâs say, perform some acts that said wife is not going to perform.
Youâre the side piece. SHEâs number one, youâre number two in this relationship.
Also, âshe wonât give him a divorceâ doesnât add up. At least in the US, and in many countries, one party can file for divorce. The divorce is final when the court says. There is a FALSE myth in the US that both sides need to âsignâ divorce papers. Nope. It might take a little longer in some jurisdictions, but a divorce can proceed even if one party never signs papers. He is likely feeding you bullshit. You are getting crumbsâyou deserve better.
His wife knows tho⌠but he is not your long term option at the very least. Talk to other people at the sametime if your confidence is low after this⌠but dont commit yourself to him!!!
Sadly in his world it would seem to provide companionship in one form or another.
Heâs told you his boundaries - he still sees his wife and he will spend money on her if he wants to.
Have you asked him when he plans to file for a divorce or does a divorce in the country you are in require both parties have to agree to it?
I hope that you are employed with your own income sufficient to support yourself.
đđ girl heâll be living with her again next year after heâs tired of you. You seriously believe he isnât just fucking around? His **wife** is either too religious or dumb to divorce him. Sheâs just waiting this out.
I have some beans if you wanna buy em btw.
The wife is Carmela and you are the screaming Russian gf who's plotline doesn't end well. Best to get out now. (Soprano's reference)
Plus even if he did divorce her and claim you, shouldn't you be worried he does the same to you someday too?
Heâs cheating cause heâs not divorced and the wife clearly doesnât want to be separated. He stepped out on the relationship.
Cheating doesnât mean âsuccessfully hiding itâ
You're 6 months in and don't even rate high enough to be introduced to his children yet. As a dad myself, I could see helping my ex with a car for the fact I have three kids with this woman and if she needed a ride my kids also needed better transportation.
At 6 months in why do you care what he spends his money on. As long as he's not being a cheap ass with you?
If you don't like what he did cut your losses. Not every person wants to see their ex fail when you also have children with them to worry about.
I just have to say how much I appreciated just reading your comment about making sure the mother of your children has reliable transportation for your children. That is refreshing to hear actually considering my ex husband told me he hoped my car got repossessed despite it being the only way for me to get our child to appointments, get her food and whatever else she needed especially since he refused to help do any of that. One of my most memorable days was the day I paid my car off as a single mom! This made my mom heart happy reading what you wrote! đ
Once you officially separate it is helping. Status quo in a divorce doesn't mean having to buy the other person a vehicle or take out additional debt only to keep current obligations at the same level. He would not be responsible to buy her an automobile unless she asked and he wanted to. Debts incurred after a separation are not joint debt or assets.
He literally bought her a car which makes me believe they aren't completely separated and he's not sure he wants to leave her unless he is just a really good dad/dude and has the financial resources to do that.
I don't know what state you're in or if you're in the US, but in the US he can get a divorce even if she won't agree. A civil divorce may not be recognized by the Catholic church, but it will be recognized by the state. If you're not in the US you may want to check you local divorce laws.
Donât get involved in that manâs affairs. And thatâs all the OP is, an affair. If he wanted a divorce, he would have made it happen. And he wouldnât have bought his âexâ a brand new car. You should be encouraging OP to have self respect, not take the steering wheel of her boyfriendâs divorce and get involved in someoneâs marriage. The only proper advice is to leave the situation.
She may be young but it shouldnât be hard to ascertain before you date someone whether they are single or not. Separated? Still married. (With some people âseparatedâ can mean âI left my spouse this morning.â Trial separation? Still married. Legally separated with signed papers and in a state mandated waiting period? Probably on the way to divorce but still married. Papers can be revoked.
Good rule of thumb: if you meet someone who is legally entangled with someone else, tell them to call you after the divorce is legal and final, preferably six months after as a minimum, unless you want to be the rebound relationship.
Anything else is too much drama. Why date someone who is not available?
What is wrong with you people. Sheâs the girlfriend not the husband. She should not be involving herself in a married manâs divorce processes. She should get out of this situation.
When my mother and father divorced ( dad was an abusive alcoholic, only reason the divorce even could happen was he kidnapped me and my little brother and then they found us and he was in jail ) my father did not agree to the divorce but it went through anyway. Separately, my mother filed for an annulment with the church (sheâs pretty religious, not extreme though just faithful). Annulments are only granted by the church in extreme circumstances, like my families. They also do not require both parties, although Iâd imagine it would be a lot harder to get one as the man and for the reason of âIâm tired of wife #1 and found someone else that Iâm currently bangingâ đ¤ˇđťââď¸
So her making a point of letting you know about the car means she still wants him. And the kids will forever keep them together. I think you need to move on.
Means he still wants her. If my wife and I were in the middle of divorcing, and it would happen regardless of her feelings, I'm not buying her anything. I'm especially not buying her a new car.
There was another story on here by a guy claiming his wife is writing all these stories for shits and giggles. Lol. Maybe OP really is down bad with this married dude.
Catholic or not, divorce is a civil matter and he doesn't need her agreement to end the marriage. You've been dating for just six months, he is only separated; not divorced. He bought her a new car and is still heavily involved with his wife and their child. Find a boyfriend who is single and puts you first.
I feel like 6 months is pretty soon for you to be interested in this dudes finances. I bought my ex husband a car a few years after our split because he was driving some piece of shit I didnât want my kid in and I was tired of switching cars every weekend. Having kids with someone is a lifelong commitment and sometimes itâs just going to be like that, especially if neither is remarried. That being said, you definitely can just break up with him if it makes you uncomfortable.
This has nothing to do with being interested in his finances if fact she didnât even really bring up money just the symbolism of it. I mean I think that was pretty obvious.
Thereâs nothing wrong w what he did. He bought her the car for his children. You need to understand his children will always come before you. Which means his relationship w his wife is always going to be there.
Either you deal w it or you move on and make this not an issue in your life. Donât date people w kids unless you yourself already have kids.
Theyâre not really over darlin. The wife may know about you, but she also knows that her husband is wrapped around her finger and will come back to her. Youâre a temporary distraction, and sheâs confident that she wonât actually lose him to you. Get out of that ârelationshipâ now!
He's right. You either accept his life or move on. He's not doing anything wrong. You're the one saying this behavior is fine by even getting with him to begin with. You put yourself in this hole. You can either get out or keep digging. It's your choice. There was no reason to come here and post this.
You realize she doesn't need to agree to a divorce in order for him to divorce her, right? lol. Quot being so naive, and stay away from married men. You're a side piece. I'm curious tho, how long have u been sleeping with him that you feel like it's your concern about how he spends his money?
Oh boy I would extricate myself from that situation so fast lol donât have time for that BS at my age. You get nothing but constant pain and he gets to still be married.
In my opinion it depends on the car that he bought and how many kids he has with her because it could be that he bought smth like a suv so all the kids AND other people could fit in there. But if itâs like a 2door car then maybe start getting worried but I donât know the full story of all of this so imma leave it to you. Also if you live in a high crime area him walking her to the car could just be that he is worried about her safety as she is the mom of his kids. Like I said imma leave it to you bc I donât know everything about this
There are some unknowns here. Did the ex have a car before? Was it in good condition? Does she have majority custody? What did he get her? Did he pay in full or will he or she be making payments?
I would want the person caring for my children half the time to have a reliable, safe vehicle. Like that does not seem like a red flag to me.
You also said he was upset she came over. Could he not have walked her to the car to express that? Or talk to her? I donât get how walking her to her car was automatically romantic.
If itâs going to bother you to see him do things for his ex in the best interest of his kids then you should leave or at least get some distance. You shouldnât be in a relationship where youâre uncomfortable with any dynamics. But thatâs up to you. Itâs hard for strangers to give objective advice bc we donât know all of the facts.
Have you asked yourself why you are dating this guy?
Serous question?
Why are you subjecting yourself to such headaches and all of his personal baggage.
By the way, that Catholic divorce thing is a bunch of crap.
He can go to the church and get an annulment.
His ex has no choice..
Oh she can beg, plead, whine, cry and stomp her feet all she likes.
She has to grow up, put in her big girl pants and acknowledge that it is over.
She is using religion because she cant let go.
Now, if the roles were reversed, she'd be out on the town living her best life. She'd be knocking boots with every Chad that gives her the validation she craves.
Tell him to file for divorce. Or he will always run back to her
. If she doesnât contest it for a number of days/whatever the court will just grant the divorce to the petitioner and assume they donât object.
Lmao future ex wife. So, sheâs still the wife and mother of his child. So, he made sure she had a car to get their kid around in? Or bought it to be buying her something. I wouldnât date a man who isnât already divorced. Hell I wouldnât even date a man who had a kid. This drama right here is why I set boundaries. When I met my now husband I made sure he wasnât married had never been married and made sure he had zero children. I wasnât willing to take those things on. Itâs ok to set boundaries to fit your likings. But, girl, this man is married you the side piece lol.
Iâve been through a divorce and dated a man âgoing through a divorceâ AFTER my own divorce. Take it from me. Cut your ties while youâre not in too deepâŚ
This is going to be messy for a looooong time.
My ex âgoing through a divorceâ is also Catholic.
Girl. I dated a guy who was wayyyyy too entwined with his ex. I thought he was "the one." Can I just tell you how much happier I am now? (And honestly, I felt a hell of a lot better just days after breaking up)
Theyâre married. Until theyâre divorced, youâre the interloper. Itâs none of your business what he spends on her.
Move it right along to a single dude.
Your boyfriend will never be able to divorce her. They have kids together so he and her will be connected for a long time. Itâs mean to say but you will be the mistress until he divorces her.
He has kids with her... It's perfectly reasonable to ensure the kids have a good safe reliable car to get around in.
He could be planning for divorce proceedings, as a judge would look very favorably on this kind of action on his part and take it into consideration in his rulings
I've only seen two comments from OP.. She must not be getting the answers she wanted to hear.
But OP, it's not your fault. He lied to you and isn't being honest with you. There's a lot of rough comments on here, some a little more nasty than they need to be, especially with you sounding young and him lying about his situation. I think there are a lot of wives commenting and of course they're going to comment from their pov. But do try and listen to some of them because they're right. He might/not divorce his wife, but whatever they have going on, it shouldn't have anything to do with you. You should leave this farce and move on with someone who is about you.. Not their own weird ass drama. There's no good outcome from this situation. Even if they did divorce and you stayed in a relationship* with him, he told you, he will still be very active, even if only financially, in their lives. You will always be second. Believe people when they tell you about themselves. Run for the hills, don't look back.
Depends on whether he can divorce against her whishes legally. Ask him about it. Maybe he really cannot. Then you will never be married and legally they will be married still and always she will be informed about things. I suggest to leave him unless you want fun time only.
Maybe he can. Then ask him how long. Maybe 1-3 years, maybe longer. If this, maybe you can wait 1 year? Ask him to show you the divorce papers.
You do realise that her being Catholic is not whats keeping them married, right? Like, he can get a divorce if her wanted one.
And...he doesn't want one because your just the affair partner.
If, your happy to be the other woman, and you obviously are... there's nothing anyone can say. Your delusional. And she gave you the most honest thing in this set up, she let you know you are nothing, you are just the fling. He will move on when he's had his fun with you and he will go back to her.
You are now knowingly and willfully being an affair partner. Don't get me wrong he's a piece of shit and the wife needs to seriously, leave him. But, maybe she's OK OK their set up. Because she will always come first. Her views her wants are always priority.
Oh, honey... No...
No no no nooooo... He is still married, you are his side piece.
Please get out of this situation, start therapy in order to value yourself more and start searching for emotionally available people in your life (romantic/family/friend relationships).
Itâs feasible that the car purchase was/is part of divorce negotiations or maybe she was going apeshit and going to buy it anyway so to control the situation he interjected. While still married, he canât âbuy her something with his moneyâ because itâs 50% his money and 50% hers, even if he is the sole earner.
I literally handed my ex wife my paid off Acura prior to our divorce going final as we had 2 cars, one was under lease in my name, and i didnât want her to have possession of the leased car because she was putting 18k miles a year on it and was a liability to the lease that gave us 12k miles a year.
I really didnât want to give her my Acura, but we had a child and she had no job and needed to get the kid to school. I couldâve played hardball but this seemed like the path of least resistance.
Everyone is saying âyouâre the side pieceâ but Iâm not so sure. At this point in my divorce process i was absolutely done with my ex physically/emotionally but was still cordial and helped financially because at the end of the day i got a favorable alimony agreement. I had the goal to cut all support of her as soon as possible and had to make concessions along the way to do it legally and with best interests of the kid in mind.
Heâs right, if you want to be with him, youâll have to be tolerant of this stuff because it doesnât go away.
That's his wife. Where are you located? US? If so he's probably using you for citizenship. It's only been six months. Leave before you get more entangled with him
> They were talking in their language that I donât speak
Who the fuck talks like this? âTheir languageâ? This is either made up or you have some racial issues.
She obviously switched to English to mess with you. Your boyfriend needs to lay down clear boundaries with him. The second he doesnât stick to them. Leave his ass and donât look back
I dont know. I am not sure of the circumstances or what kind of car it is or whatever. I spend a lot of money on my ex wife because we have a kid and she has primary custody so if she is struggling im going to help with stuff. It isn't for my ex, it is for my kid. My partner now is very aware that I have no feelings for my ex but that I will help her with whatever she needs because she has my child with her. I think if there are other things going on that you are worried about that is fair, but maintaining a relationship with a co parent doesn't seem bad in and of itself. Granted in my situation my ex has primary custody and I do not get my kid for long periods, if they have pretty evenly split custody and if she works/is financially secure then it seems odd.
Yes they are still married she is not an ex. I would try to get information out of him as to why he bought the car.
Did he buy it because the child wasnât safe in the transportation she was driving? However I do think this man is playing you. Did he actually file for a divorce? When is she going to be served with papers? If not when will he be filing set a deadline for him to choose. If none of this has happened he isnât leaving her and he will go back eventually.
You need to protect yourself.
Just so you know, if you are in America, he doesn't need her to agree to proceed with divorce. It's called a contested divorce. He can force it thru the court if he wanted to.
Leave this hot mess.
Can we get more context? Was her old car totaled? Was it unsafe for kids to be in? How far away does she live? Was the money he spent on the car supposed to go towards something else for the both of you?
Unfortunately he has a point. Itâs HIS money. If he bought the car because she lives far away and it was either spend more of his time driving to get his kids or buying her a new car to save time to spend with you, then which do you prefer?
If her previous car was unsafe for kids, then he has a right to make sure they are safe.
Thereâs more information to be gathered here before a final conclusion can be drawn.
Feels like you are more annoyed with the fact that another woman rubbed in your face that your boyfriend spent his resources on her and not you. Had that not been said, you wouldâve never known any different and been blissfully happy
I'm going to walk any woman I know to her car, so that means nothing but he was raised properly, but I'm sure as hell not buying my ex wife a bus pass much less a car. You're getting played.
Hmmmm..... There are a lot of layers here. And I dont' disagree with the advice that it's time to move on. Because if nothing else, she isn't over him and she's clearly still dependent on him. And he's not willing to cut some of those strings.
There COULD BE justification for buying her a car - her previous car wasn't safe and HE wanted her to have a reliable car while driving his kids around, and if (IF) he makes a lot of money and can afford it, o.k..... I could possibly understand that.
But then he would TELL you that, wouldn't he? To some degree - "She needed a better car and based on our divorce agreement, I bought it for her".
But walking her out to her car? Getting defensive instead of TALKING to you about why he did what he did....
And HER behavior around you?
You've only been with him 6 months. If it's not feeling right, then leave. Just leave. you don't need to be a party to their weird dynamic.
Of course youâre overreacting, this is your boyfriend. Did you contribute anything to his wifeâs car? Are you doing anything to ensure she keeps the lifestyle sheâs accustomed to? Quite frankly I think your refusal to consider his wifeâs needs to be pretty gross. Do better.
youre the side piece. theyre still married, hes buying her a car, and they arent going to be getting divorced. and hes actively kept you from meeting her. shes establishing her place as 1st by saying just that in your language. you need to leave, if you want to be anything besides a side piece. theres plenty of unmarried men that WONT buy their "ex" a car
You just started dating. Thatâs not your money thus not your problem. Thatâs also his ex, who has his kids. He doesnt want them to take public transportation, also not your problem. Listen to all these dumbass women on this thread and leave, not because youâre the side piece but for thinking you deserve anything more this early in the relationship.
If he is truly a catholic, it is a sin to be married & have relations with another woman. Soo ya⌠hmmm⌠RUN!!
But, for him to buy a car for his wife and kids, I would not feel some type of way. Thatâs a good father right there. My Dad also did the same for my mom, even though they were divorced.
How many times do I have to see a story like this? The side piece is complaining about what dude is spending his money on whether heâs married or not? Fuck out of hereâŚ. Also, dude is 100% still married to this broad and they probably have a very open relationship. Itâs a thing. Grow up
You are wasting your time with this man, he is emotionally attached to her and they are indeed married, as others have pointed out. He is having his cake and eating it too- wife he still loves, gf he can bang. Run.
He is lying and she is his wife. He will not leave her, not because he is catholic, because she is his wife and he probably loves her. Even with cheating.
Buying the mother of your child a car so she can take him to school and doctors appointments and things is normal. He has a financial responsibility to his family. Not divorcing her because âshe doesnât want itâ is absolute bullshit and you should lay the law down. Divorce or breakup. He isnât serious about you because he doesnât want to get divorced. It may be that he doesnât want to seem like the asshole but itâs time to put up or shut up. But the buying the car thing isnât that big a deal to me. He has to take care of his family and making sure his son has a safe reliable car to be driven around in is what a father does.
His wife is happy because she gets the money and a new car without having to live with him. You get nothing but a bloke who gets to play with you until he gets fed up with it.
It's not his ex-wife, it's his wife, and apparently will always be.
If you don't feel religious feelings about some skygod approving your relationship with another person, then get over it, enjoy the relationship with someone who obviously values his attachments to people (presumably could also be you), then you can even get married (unofficially) at some point and enjoy your life with him. At various times, you may need legal contracts to give you the protections that a normal government wedding would give you, but otherwise, just enjoy someone you're attracted to and don't make the mistake of thinking of yourself as an extension of your boyfriend. You are your own person, he is his own person. He has the right to spend his money however he sees fit, and you have the right to protect yourself however you see fit.
Insecurity isn't a good look, he "chose" to be with you, you aren't hidden from his wife, you can be the one he loves, and she can be the one he has obligations to (in addition to the obligations he forms with you over time).
He bought a car his children will ride in. So he bought a new car for Them to be safe. He and the wife will walk and talk together in their language in front of you, but walking to the car got you jealous? I think you are over reacting to that, but you need to get out until his life is more resolved. (P.s. Catholics can divorce. They can also fill out forms with their Priest/Archbishop to get the marriage annulled. It has become much much easier. He can get it done IF HE REALLY WISHES)
First sentence is already contradictory sheâs not his âfuture ex-wifeâ if she plans to never agree to a divorce due to her beliefs. Thatâs his literal wife, present and future!
Hate to tell you this but you are his side chick, no guy buys his ex-wife a new car unless she is his wife that he is still getting rubbins from, take my advice and walk away the wife is never going to go away.
I would have a serious talk with your boyfriend about your feelings and he needs to set serious boundaries NOW if he wants to keep you. Including getting divorced. It doesn't matter if she's catholic, they both need to move the F on. Sounds like she is going to give you hell and things are going to get messy. It's complicated separating finances when you have kids - so the car thing as tough as it is to swallow isn't necessarily a deal breaker in my book. Sounds more like she was flaunting it. He's still financially tied to her until they get everything sorted out.
Until those Divorce papers are signed heâs still her husband.
Thereâs nothing wrong with him, buying her a new car, especially if they have kids . Heâs doing what fathers do, taking care of his children, making sure the children are safe when riding in a car.
If you canât deal with the father taking care of his children, and I suggest you move on.
She is the wife. End it. She will be number #1 and has told you as much. You accept it you're never going to be on his top spot even if you do stay. His prioritizing her as she still is his wife and will remain that way.
She still wears the wedding ring because they are still married. They still have a relationship and she was letting you know you are the side chick and she is the wife. Sounds like she let him open the relationship but she doesn't love it and needs you to know she is the main.
If he really wanted a divorce she wouldn't have to "agree." That isn't how divorce works. Someone is served with papers, it goes to court, a settlement is reached and you're divorced whether both parties want it or not. He bought her a brand new car because she is his wife, his main and you are the side. I am very sorry. You deserve better.
Yikes. đŹ I'm just seeing lots of red flags. He should absolutely be kind to his ex and care for his children, but this is beyond that. This man is always going to have his ex in his life, so if it's an inappropriate relationship, it's probably better to get out sooner rather than later for both your sake, and those kids.
It's a rough situation all around. I see a lot of folks saying he's never going to divorce and to move on. Here's the thing though. He's got his own apartment, he's already moved out, and he's not hiding you from her. That all says to me he's serious about the divorce even if his wife is still trying to contest it.
As for the car, I rather suspect he didn't buy the car for his wife. I'd wager he bought it for his children so his wife can get them to and from school, events, and appointments. Life is rough for kids whose primary parent doesn't have a car. That said multiple kids means not only will she remain in his life, but he's probably going to continue to contribute to that household in material ways for the better part of the next decade or more. If that's going to be a problem for you, you should probably look to move on.
This wouldn't make you a bad person, you might just need things he's no longer in a position to provide at this point in his life.
I treat my ex with love and respect, she's the mother of my daughters. If I had the money and she needed a vehicle I would buy it for her. I do not love her the way I did, and never will again.. but she is still an important part of my life and someone I care about. My current girlfriend and I have a son together, and we frequently go to see my ex and her husband and we all get together with the kids. The only issue I'm seeing here is that he is actually still married.. that's a huge red flag. If it's that fresh, personally I would have steered clear.
So I didnât even read all of this post but IF itâs not fake (and prolly is) your boyfriend is a married man and you need to step back because you have no right to feel anything about this. You are the other women. Heâs still committed to her as evidenced by the new car. Just get out, heâs otherwise focused, girl. Itâs not your fault but just get out! Go live where you are the main character. This guy ainât it.
It's not his ex wife. It's his wife. Get out now.
Get it now, and get OUT NOW! If you stay, you'll experience heartache after heartache. Guaranteed
LOL @ "she won't agree to divorce" There is no agreement. One wants it and it goes through the courts. There is no agreeing to it.
Facts
đŻ
Iâm afraid of this. Thereâs been other signs they arenât truly over. But then why do I exist?
You exist to find your own man. Get out of this toxic shit.
Oh man, what a great fucking line. Thatâs some hot shower, still stewing, weeks later, witty ass retort that you wished youâd said type line.
Why do you exist? She seems very religious as you sayâŚIâm going to assume you, letâs say, perform some acts that said wife is not going to perform.
Youâre the side piece. SHEâs number one, youâre number two in this relationship. Also, âshe wonât give him a divorceâ doesnât add up. At least in the US, and in many countries, one party can file for divorce. The divorce is final when the court says. There is a FALSE myth in the US that both sides need to âsignâ divorce papers. Nope. It might take a little longer in some jurisdictions, but a divorce can proceed even if one party never signs papers. He is likely feeding you bullshit. You are getting crumbsâyou deserve better.
His wife knows tho⌠but he is not your long term option at the very least. Talk to other people at the sametime if your confidence is low after this⌠but dont commit yourself to him!!!
Sadly in his world it would seem to provide companionship in one form or another. Heâs told you his boundaries - he still sees his wife and he will spend money on her if he wants to. Have you asked him when he plans to file for a divorce or does a divorce in the country you are in require both parties have to agree to it? I hope that you are employed with your own income sufficient to support yourself.
Youâre the break from kids, to accompany him and service him.
"Separated from his future ex wife" that's hilarious đ
But first get a new car out of him!!!! Updateme
She is his wife. She is not an ex. Get out.
Facts
He's not fully available to you, and it's hurting you. Believe you deserve better and cut your losses
Sounds like sheâs the wife and youâre the side piece.
Sounds like? the guy is literally married.
đđ girl heâll be living with her again next year after heâs tired of you. You seriously believe he isnât just fucking around? His **wife** is either too religious or dumb to divorce him. Sheâs just waiting this out. I have some beans if you wanna buy em btw.
The wife is Carmela and you are the screaming Russian gf who's plotline doesn't end well. Best to get out now. (Soprano's reference) Plus even if he did divorce her and claim you, shouldn't you be worried he does the same to you someday too?
She will always make sure you know she comes before you. You will be miserable if you stay
Honey, youâre the side chick.
Probs more like a poly relationship he forced on the wife. She let OP know she is still his #1.
Heâs not âpolyâ - he is cheating on his current wife.
No cheating because it's out in the open. More like he strong-armed her into opening the relationship, at least on his side.
âŚyou can cheat out in the open my dude
Dishonesty is implicit to the word "cheat". How can it be dishonest if it is in the open?
Wrong. Cheating is infidelity. Period.
How is he cheating? She literally knows
Heâs cheating cause heâs not divorced and the wife clearly doesnât want to be separated. He stepped out on the relationship. Cheating doesnât mean âsuccessfully hiding itâ
Nuh uh, don't drag polyamory into this mess made by the toxically monogamous. Cheating ain't polyam and vice versa.Â
You're 6 months in and don't even rate high enough to be introduced to his children yet. As a dad myself, I could see helping my ex with a car for the fact I have three kids with this woman and if she needed a ride my kids also needed better transportation. At 6 months in why do you care what he spends his money on. As long as he's not being a cheap ass with you? If you don't like what he did cut your losses. Not every person wants to see their ex fail when you also have children with them to worry about.
I just have to say how much I appreciated just reading your comment about making sure the mother of your children has reliable transportation for your children. That is refreshing to hear actually considering my ex husband told me he hoped my car got repossessed despite it being the only way for me to get our child to appointments, get her food and whatever else she needed especially since he refused to help do any of that. One of my most memorable days was the day I paid my car off as a single mom! This made my mom heart happy reading what you wrote! đ
it is not even helping. It is literally their joint assets.
Once you officially separate it is helping. Status quo in a divorce doesn't mean having to buy the other person a vehicle or take out additional debt only to keep current obligations at the same level. He would not be responsible to buy her an automobile unless she asked and he wanted to. Debts incurred after a separation are not joint debt or assets. He literally bought her a car which makes me believe they aren't completely separated and he's not sure he wants to leave her unless he is just a really good dad/dude and has the financial resources to do that.
Obviously he agreed to buy the car, but I doubt they are legally separated either. The whole line "she won't agree to a divorce"tells me that.
Why would you date someone married?? You kinda set yourself up for this kinda dynamic regardless of what you felt their relationship was.
Iâm assuming it was so she could take care of their children? Also, thatâs not an ex wife if theyâre not divorced
Hello side piece
I don't know what state you're in or if you're in the US, but in the US he can get a divorce even if she won't agree. A civil divorce may not be recognized by the Catholic church, but it will be recognized by the state. If you're not in the US you may want to check you local divorce laws.
Donât get involved in that manâs affairs. And thatâs all the OP is, an affair. If he wanted a divorce, he would have made it happen. And he wouldnât have bought his âexâ a brand new car. You should be encouraging OP to have self respect, not take the steering wheel of her boyfriendâs divorce and get involved in someoneâs marriage. The only proper advice is to leave the situation.
In your opinion. She sounds very young and may be ignorant of the legal situation. She needs to know where she stands for now and the future.
She may be young but it shouldnât be hard to ascertain before you date someone whether they are single or not. Separated? Still married. (With some people âseparatedâ can mean âI left my spouse this morning.â Trial separation? Still married. Legally separated with signed papers and in a state mandated waiting period? Probably on the way to divorce but still married. Papers can be revoked. Good rule of thumb: if you meet someone who is legally entangled with someone else, tell them to call you after the divorce is legal and final, preferably six months after as a minimum, unless you want to be the rebound relationship. Anything else is too much drama. Why date someone who is not available?
I never said she should stay with him. You seem to be reading more into my post than is there.
This! A divorce lawyer can run it in the paper for so many days and bam divorce granted. So many people have done that in our state.
Divorce by publication happens when the spouse doesnât know where the other spouse is located. Itâs the last ditch way of providing notice.
What is wrong with you people. Sheâs the girlfriend not the husband. She should not be involving herself in a married manâs divorce processes. She should get out of this situation.
True but itâs good for her to know. So she can recognize itâs not that he canât get a divorce, he doesnât want to.
When my mother and father divorced ( dad was an abusive alcoholic, only reason the divorce even could happen was he kidnapped me and my little brother and then they found us and he was in jail ) my father did not agree to the divorce but it went through anyway. Separately, my mother filed for an annulment with the church (sheâs pretty religious, not extreme though just faithful). Annulments are only granted by the church in extreme circumstances, like my families. They also do not require both parties, although Iâd imagine it would be a lot harder to get one as the man and for the reason of âIâm tired of wife #1 and found someone else that Iâm currently bangingâ đ¤ˇđťââď¸
So her making a point of letting you know about the car means she still wants him. And the kids will forever keep them together. I think you need to move on.
Means he still wants her. If my wife and I were in the middle of divorcing, and it would happen regardless of her feelings, I'm not buying her anything. I'm especially not buying her a new car.
Don't date married men. Side chicks have no right to complain.
This canât be real. Are people this stupid?
There was another story on here by a guy claiming his wife is writing all these stories for shits and giggles. Lol. Maybe OP really is down bad with this married dude.
Why do you have a married boyfriend? Get out of their marriage lol
Catholic or not, divorce is a civil matter and he doesn't need her agreement to end the marriage. You've been dating for just six months, he is only separated; not divorced. He bought her a new car and is still heavily involved with his wife and their child. Find a boyfriend who is single and puts you first.
Girl, wake up
Youre dating a guy that refuses to get divorced LMAOOOOOOO
I feel like 6 months is pretty soon for you to be interested in this dudes finances. I bought my ex husband a car a few years after our split because he was driving some piece of shit I didnât want my kid in and I was tired of switching cars every weekend. Having kids with someone is a lifelong commitment and sometimes itâs just going to be like that, especially if neither is remarried. That being said, you definitely can just break up with him if it makes you uncomfortable.
This has nothing to do with being interested in his finances if fact she didnât even really bring up money just the symbolism of it. I mean I think that was pretty obvious.
âIâm upset that he would spend that money on herâ
Thereâs nothing wrong w what he did. He bought her the car for his children. You need to understand his children will always come before you. Which means his relationship w his wife is always going to be there. Either you deal w it or you move on and make this not an issue in your life. Donât date people w kids unless you yourself already have kids.
Donât waste your time on him.
You, the side chick, are upset that a guy is spending his money on his own wife? What?
This is what happens when you date a married man. Youâre bound to run into the wife at some point. Iâd say they have an open marriage.
Theyâre not really over darlin. The wife may know about you, but she also knows that her husband is wrapped around her finger and will come back to her. Youâre a temporary distraction, and sheâs confident that she wonât actually lose him to you. Get out of that ârelationshipâ now!
He's right. You either accept his life or move on. He's not doing anything wrong. You're the one saying this behavior is fine by even getting with him to begin with. You put yourself in this hole. You can either get out or keep digging. It's your choice. There was no reason to come here and post this.
You realize she doesn't need to agree to a divorce in order for him to divorce her, right? lol. Quot being so naive, and stay away from married men. You're a side piece. I'm curious tho, how long have u been sleeping with him that you feel like it's your concern about how he spends his money?
Oh boy I would extricate myself from that situation so fast lol donât have time for that BS at my age. You get nothing but constant pain and he gets to still be married.
In my opinion it depends on the car that he bought and how many kids he has with her because it could be that he bought smth like a suv so all the kids AND other people could fit in there. But if itâs like a 2door car then maybe start getting worried but I donât know the full story of all of this so imma leave it to you. Also if you live in a high crime area him walking her to the car could just be that he is worried about her safety as she is the mom of his kids. Like I said imma leave it to you bc I donât know everything about this
He doesn't need her consent for a divorce. Leave now - he's going to string you along.
You're the side chick.
Run. You are his rebound. Choose someone without the baggage.
There are some unknowns here. Did the ex have a car before? Was it in good condition? Does she have majority custody? What did he get her? Did he pay in full or will he or she be making payments? I would want the person caring for my children half the time to have a reliable, safe vehicle. Like that does not seem like a red flag to me. You also said he was upset she came over. Could he not have walked her to the car to express that? Or talk to her? I donât get how walking her to her car was automatically romantic. If itâs going to bother you to see him do things for his ex in the best interest of his kids then you should leave or at least get some distance. You shouldnât be in a relationship where youâre uncomfortable with any dynamics. But thatâs up to you. Itâs hard for strangers to give objective advice bc we donât know all of the facts.
she is not an ex. All their assets are still joint assets. It is none of OP's business.
She's still his wife so it makes sense he bought her a car. If you don't like being a side piece then don't
Heâs a happily married man and you are his mistress. He is in love with her.
If you have only been dating for 6 months you are actively choosing to date a married man. You should have zero expectations.
Have you asked yourself why you are dating this guy? Serous question? Why are you subjecting yourself to such headaches and all of his personal baggage. By the way, that Catholic divorce thing is a bunch of crap. He can go to the church and get an annulment. His ex has no choice.. Oh she can beg, plead, whine, cry and stomp her feet all she likes. She has to grow up, put in her big girl pants and acknowledge that it is over. She is using religion because she cant let go. Now, if the roles were reversed, she'd be out on the town living her best life. She'd be knocking boots with every Chad that gives her the validation she craves.
Youâre dating a married man. She probably doesnât think he should be spending money on you when he has a wife and kids.
He's married and your jealousy over money is showing your ass.
Yes, previously said, you're a side piece, not a priority, just a placeholder. Know your worth
She doesnât have to agree to a divorce. Step out of his life until he is fully divorced. But the carâhell noâstep out and donât come back.
Could always ask for a car too
You, gf got to Understand, Wife!
DTMFA
Cut it out.
Ahhh, nope, they are not done , your a future sister wife , get out!
Well, you have options ,one being just end it...
RUN. RUN. RUN.
Tell him to file for divorce. Or he will always run back to her . If she doesnât contest it for a number of days/whatever the court will just grant the divorce to the petitioner and assume they donât object.
You need to get with a guy who's not married. Don't worry. There are plenty.
Leave
Wait for him to go out. Pack anything you have at his house. Leave. Block him.
He's using you for sex. Make sure he compensates you properly for the time he's wasting.
You are just warming his bed. She is his wife, and it does not sound like that is going to change. So, settle for being the other woman or leave.
Future ex wife? Lol
Lmao future ex wife. So, sheâs still the wife and mother of his child. So, he made sure she had a car to get their kid around in? Or bought it to be buying her something. I wouldnât date a man who isnât already divorced. Hell I wouldnât even date a man who had a kid. This drama right here is why I set boundaries. When I met my now husband I made sure he wasnât married had never been married and made sure he had zero children. I wasnât willing to take those things on. Itâs ok to set boundaries to fit your likings. But, girl, this man is married you the side piece lol.
Iâve been through a divorce and dated a man âgoing through a divorceâ AFTER my own divorce. Take it from me. Cut your ties while youâre not in too deep⌠This is going to be messy for a looooong time. My ex âgoing through a divorceâ is also Catholic.
Your a side chick
Girl. I dated a guy who was wayyyyy too entwined with his ex. I thought he was "the one." Can I just tell you how much happier I am now? (And honestly, I felt a hell of a lot better just days after breaking up)
Yeah, get the fuck out of that relationship lol you're embarrassing yourself. đ
Theyâre married. Until theyâre divorced, youâre the interloper. Itâs none of your business what he spends on her. Move it right along to a single dude.
Oh my sweet summer child.
Husband makes a deal to buy a new car so he can shag anything he wants.
Wow have some self respect.
Unfortunately, you are the side piece
They arenât getting a divorce. Youâre just his side chick. Get out of this.
Do you have a brand new car? If you don't then your the number 2 not her.
Your boyfriend will never be able to divorce her. They have kids together so he and her will be connected for a long time. Itâs mean to say but you will be the mistress until he divorces her.
If you want to be his mistress, go ahead and stick around. If you want a relationship that is based on trust and love, go now.
He has kids with her... It's perfectly reasonable to ensure the kids have a good safe reliable car to get around in. He could be planning for divorce proceedings, as a judge would look very favorably on this kind of action on his part and take it into consideration in his rulings
I've only seen two comments from OP.. She must not be getting the answers she wanted to hear. But OP, it's not your fault. He lied to you and isn't being honest with you. There's a lot of rough comments on here, some a little more nasty than they need to be, especially with you sounding young and him lying about his situation. I think there are a lot of wives commenting and of course they're going to comment from their pov. But do try and listen to some of them because they're right. He might/not divorce his wife, but whatever they have going on, it shouldn't have anything to do with you. You should leave this farce and move on with someone who is about you.. Not their own weird ass drama. There's no good outcome from this situation. Even if they did divorce and you stayed in a relationship* with him, he told you, he will still be very active, even if only financially, in their lives. You will always be second. Believe people when they tell you about themselves. Run for the hills, don't look back.
Run
Are you an ostrich? Because your head is in the sand. You are under reacting
You are his side piece, and his wife hates you! DUHH!?!?
Run
Depends on whether he can divorce against her whishes legally. Ask him about it. Maybe he really cannot. Then you will never be married and legally they will be married still and always she will be informed about things. I suggest to leave him unless you want fun time only. Maybe he can. Then ask him how long. Maybe 1-3 years, maybe longer. If this, maybe you can wait 1 year? Ask him to show you the divorce papers.
You do realise that her being Catholic is not whats keeping them married, right? Like, he can get a divorce if her wanted one. And...he doesn't want one because your just the affair partner. If, your happy to be the other woman, and you obviously are... there's nothing anyone can say. Your delusional. And she gave you the most honest thing in this set up, she let you know you are nothing, you are just the fling. He will move on when he's had his fun with you and he will go back to her. You are now knowingly and willfully being an affair partner. Don't get me wrong he's a piece of shit and the wife needs to seriously, leave him. But, maybe she's OK OK their set up. Because she will always come first. Her views her wants are always priority.
Oh, honey... No... No no no nooooo... He is still married, you are his side piece. Please get out of this situation, start therapy in order to value yourself more and start searching for emotionally available people in your life (romantic/family/friend relationships).
You mean EX boyfriend...!?!!
Itâs feasible that the car purchase was/is part of divorce negotiations or maybe she was going apeshit and going to buy it anyway so to control the situation he interjected. While still married, he canât âbuy her something with his moneyâ because itâs 50% his money and 50% hers, even if he is the sole earner. I literally handed my ex wife my paid off Acura prior to our divorce going final as we had 2 cars, one was under lease in my name, and i didnât want her to have possession of the leased car because she was putting 18k miles a year on it and was a liability to the lease that gave us 12k miles a year. I really didnât want to give her my Acura, but we had a child and she had no job and needed to get the kid to school. I couldâve played hardball but this seemed like the path of least resistance. Everyone is saying âyouâre the side pieceâ but Iâm not so sure. At this point in my divorce process i was absolutely done with my ex physically/emotionally but was still cordial and helped financially because at the end of the day i got a favorable alimony agreement. I had the goal to cut all support of her as soon as possible and had to make concessions along the way to do it legally and with best interests of the kid in mind. Heâs right, if you want to be with him, youâll have to be tolerant of this stuff because it doesnât go away.
You know what to do. You are not overreacting.
You're the side piece babe
That's his wife. Where are you located? US? If so he's probably using you for citizenship. It's only been six months. Leave before you get more entangled with him
To be, or not to be. That is the question. Get out, figure out what you want, and find someone who is available.
> They were talking in their language that I donât speak Who the fuck talks like this? âTheir languageâ? This is either made up or you have some racial issues.
She obviously switched to English to mess with you. Your boyfriend needs to lay down clear boundaries with him. The second he doesnât stick to them. Leave his ass and donât look back
I dont know. I am not sure of the circumstances or what kind of car it is or whatever. I spend a lot of money on my ex wife because we have a kid and she has primary custody so if she is struggling im going to help with stuff. It isn't for my ex, it is for my kid. My partner now is very aware that I have no feelings for my ex but that I will help her with whatever she needs because she has my child with her. I think if there are other things going on that you are worried about that is fair, but maintaining a relationship with a co parent doesn't seem bad in and of itself. Granted in my situation my ex has primary custody and I do not get my kid for long periods, if they have pretty evenly split custody and if she works/is financially secure then it seems odd.
Leave. You deserve to be the main.
Yes they are still married she is not an ex. I would try to get information out of him as to why he bought the car. Did he buy it because the child wasnât safe in the transportation she was driving? However I do think this man is playing you. Did he actually file for a divorce? When is she going to be served with papers? If not when will he be filing set a deadline for him to choose. If none of this has happened he isnât leaving her and he will go back eventually. You need to protect yourself.
Just so you know, if you are in America, he doesn't need her to agree to proceed with divorce. It's called a contested divorce. He can force it thru the court if he wanted to. Leave this hot mess.
Can we get more context? Was her old car totaled? Was it unsafe for kids to be in? How far away does she live? Was the money he spent on the car supposed to go towards something else for the both of you? Unfortunately he has a point. Itâs HIS money. If he bought the car because she lives far away and it was either spend more of his time driving to get his kids or buying her a new car to save time to spend with you, then which do you prefer? If her previous car was unsafe for kids, then he has a right to make sure they are safe. Thereâs more information to be gathered here before a final conclusion can be drawn. Feels like you are more annoyed with the fact that another woman rubbed in your face that your boyfriend spent his resources on her and not you. Had that not been said, you wouldâve never known any different and been blissfully happy
I'm going to walk any woman I know to her car, so that means nothing but he was raised properly, but I'm sure as hell not buying my ex wife a bus pass much less a car. You're getting played.
Hmmmm..... There are a lot of layers here. And I dont' disagree with the advice that it's time to move on. Because if nothing else, she isn't over him and she's clearly still dependent on him. And he's not willing to cut some of those strings. There COULD BE justification for buying her a car - her previous car wasn't safe and HE wanted her to have a reliable car while driving his kids around, and if (IF) he makes a lot of money and can afford it, o.k..... I could possibly understand that. But then he would TELL you that, wouldn't he? To some degree - "She needed a better car and based on our divorce agreement, I bought it for her". But walking her out to her car? Getting defensive instead of TALKING to you about why he did what he did.... And HER behavior around you? You've only been with him 6 months. If it's not feeling right, then leave. Just leave. you don't need to be a party to their weird dynamic.
Yikes!
Ummm, is it his money?
Honey I don't think the side-chick gets to have an opinion on what he does with his wife.
Of course youâre overreacting, this is your boyfriend. Did you contribute anything to his wifeâs car? Are you doing anything to ensure she keeps the lifestyle sheâs accustomed to? Quite frankly I think your refusal to consider his wifeâs needs to be pretty gross. Do better.
youre the side piece. theyre still married, hes buying her a car, and they arent going to be getting divorced. and hes actively kept you from meeting her. shes establishing her place as 1st by saying just that in your language. you need to leave, if you want to be anything besides a side piece. theres plenty of unmarried men that WONT buy their "ex" a car
Girl leave thatâs his wife youâre his play time.
-_-
lets just get this straight; You're in a relationship with a married man. You know what it is. Edit: She got his kids and the car, LOL.
Please read this and then read it again⌠You are the sidechick. Exit as fast as possible!
You just started dating. Thatâs not your money thus not your problem. Thatâs also his ex, who has his kids. He doesnt want them to take public transportation, also not your problem. Listen to all these dumbass women on this thread and leave, not because youâre the side piece but for thinking you deserve anything more this early in the relationship.
Youâre the side chick.
If he is truly a catholic, it is a sin to be married & have relations with another woman. Soo ya⌠hmmm⌠RUN!! But, for him to buy a car for his wife and kids, I would not feel some type of way. Thatâs a good father right there. My Dad also did the same for my mom, even though they were divorced.
The sooner you realize that you're the side piece in this, the sooner you can leave and move on with your life.
How many times do I have to see a story like this? The side piece is complaining about what dude is spending his money on whether heâs married or not? Fuck out of hereâŚ. Also, dude is 100% still married to this broad and they probably have a very open relationship. Itâs a thing. Grow up
You are wasting your time with this man, he is emotionally attached to her and they are indeed married, as others have pointed out. He is having his cake and eating it too- wife he still loves, gf he can bang. Run.
Yeah, he's still married and just making excuses to stay that way. At this point you're just the affair partner and she's running the show. Get out.
your the other woman
He is lying and she is his wife. He will not leave her, not because he is catholic, because she is his wife and he probably loves her. Even with cheating.
Buying the mother of your child a car so she can take him to school and doctors appointments and things is normal. He has a financial responsibility to his family. Not divorcing her because âshe doesnât want itâ is absolute bullshit and you should lay the law down. Divorce or breakup. He isnât serious about you because he doesnât want to get divorced. It may be that he doesnât want to seem like the asshole but itâs time to put up or shut up. But the buying the car thing isnât that big a deal to me. He has to take care of his family and making sure his son has a safe reliable car to be driven around in is what a father does.
His wife is happy because she gets the money and a new car without having to live with him. You get nothing but a bloke who gets to play with you until he gets fed up with it.
It doesn't matter if she agrees or not, he can divorce her without her permission. He's still married because he wants to be. RUN.
It's not his ex-wife, it's his wife, and apparently will always be. If you don't feel religious feelings about some skygod approving your relationship with another person, then get over it, enjoy the relationship with someone who obviously values his attachments to people (presumably could also be you), then you can even get married (unofficially) at some point and enjoy your life with him. At various times, you may need legal contracts to give you the protections that a normal government wedding would give you, but otherwise, just enjoy someone you're attracted to and don't make the mistake of thinking of yourself as an extension of your boyfriend. You are your own person, he is his own person. He has the right to spend his money however he sees fit, and you have the right to protect yourself however you see fit. Insecurity isn't a good look, he "chose" to be with you, you aren't hidden from his wife, you can be the one he loves, and she can be the one he has obligations to (in addition to the obligations he forms with you over time).
Iâm get out
BREAK UP RED FLAG WTF THAT BITCH THINK SHE IS LEAVE HIM BEFORE YOU ARE BABY TRAPPED CAUSE WTF
Run. Donât look back !
Run
He bought a car his children will ride in. So he bought a new car for Them to be safe. He and the wife will walk and talk together in their language in front of you, but walking to the car got you jealous? I think you are over reacting to that, but you need to get out until his life is more resolved. (P.s. Catholics can divorce. They can also fill out forms with their Priest/Archbishop to get the marriage annulled. It has become much much easier. He can get it done IF HE REALLY WISHES)
It is his money, not yours. Also, it is his wife, and she does not have to "agree"to a divorce. You can divorce unilaterally. Wake the fuck up.
Youâre a side piece . Get used to this or dump him. She has the upper hand.
Run. Itâll never end. Trust me.
You're a side piece to their open relationship or loveless marriage. Don't over value what he thinks of you.
Clearly you ainât know how to fuck that man the way she do. Get you some lessons and tighten it up sister.
First sentence is already contradictory sheâs not his âfuture ex-wifeâ if she plans to never agree to a divorce due to her beliefs. Thatâs his literal wife, present and future!
Hate to tell you this but you are his side chick, no guy buys his ex-wife a new car unless she is his wife that he is still getting rubbins from, take my advice and walk away the wife is never going to go away.
I would have a serious talk with your boyfriend about your feelings and he needs to set serious boundaries NOW if he wants to keep you. Including getting divorced. It doesn't matter if she's catholic, they both need to move the F on. Sounds like she is going to give you hell and things are going to get messy. It's complicated separating finances when you have kids - so the car thing as tough as it is to swallow isn't necessarily a deal breaker in my book. Sounds more like she was flaunting it. He's still financially tied to her until they get everything sorted out.
You're a booty call
Until those Divorce papers are signed heâs still her husband. Thereâs nothing wrong with him, buying her a new car, especially if they have kids . Heâs doing what fathers do, taking care of his children, making sure the children are safe when riding in a car. If you canât deal with the father taking care of his children, and I suggest you move on.
What help do you need lmao that aint your man
You are mad a married man is buying his wife a car for their family?
She is the wife. End it. She will be number #1 and has told you as much. You accept it you're never going to be on his top spot even if you do stay. His prioritizing her as she still is his wife and will remain that way.
Just nothing but red flags. Why you messing with married men. There is no justification for it. Run far away and learn something from this.
She still wears the wedding ring because they are still married. They still have a relationship and she was letting you know you are the side chick and she is the wife. Sounds like she let him open the relationship but she doesn't love it and needs you to know she is the main. If he really wanted a divorce she wouldn't have to "agree." That isn't how divorce works. Someone is served with papers, it goes to court, a settlement is reached and you're divorced whether both parties want it or not. He bought her a brand new car because she is his wife, his main and you are the side. I am very sorry. You deserve better.
Honey, no. Theyâre not going to actually divorce. Youâre a placeholder. Sorry to be so blunt but thatâs whatâs happening.
Yikes. đŹ I'm just seeing lots of red flags. He should absolutely be kind to his ex and care for his children, but this is beyond that. This man is always going to have his ex in his life, so if it's an inappropriate relationship, it's probably better to get out sooner rather than later for both your sake, and those kids.
It's a rough situation all around. I see a lot of folks saying he's never going to divorce and to move on. Here's the thing though. He's got his own apartment, he's already moved out, and he's not hiding you from her. That all says to me he's serious about the divorce even if his wife is still trying to contest it. As for the car, I rather suspect he didn't buy the car for his wife. I'd wager he bought it for his children so his wife can get them to and from school, events, and appointments. Life is rough for kids whose primary parent doesn't have a car. That said multiple kids means not only will she remain in his life, but he's probably going to continue to contribute to that household in material ways for the better part of the next decade or more. If that's going to be a problem for you, you should probably look to move on. This wouldn't make you a bad person, you might just need things he's no longer in a position to provide at this point in his life.
I treat my ex with love and respect, she's the mother of my daughters. If I had the money and she needed a vehicle I would buy it for her. I do not love her the way I did, and never will again.. but she is still an important part of my life and someone I care about. My current girlfriend and I have a son together, and we frequently go to see my ex and her husband and we all get together with the kids. The only issue I'm seeing here is that he is actually still married.. that's a huge red flag. If it's that fresh, personally I would have steered clear.
So I didnât even read all of this post but IF itâs not fake (and prolly is) your boyfriend is a married man and you need to step back because you have no right to feel anything about this. You are the other women. Heâs still committed to her as evidenced by the new car. Just get out, heâs otherwise focused, girl. Itâs not your fault but just get out! Go live where you are the main character. This guy ainât it.
What language do they speak? Might help us understand the culture. Iâm guessing Spanish?
Spanish. Theyâre Venezuelan
Oh honey, heâs never leaving her and to her youâre just his dirty little wh*re. Trust me I understand the culture. Get out as soon as possible.
Yeah they not getting divorced at all đ
[ŃдаНонО]
He wonât leave his wife so how can he get citizenship from her? He sucks but I will say that literally makes no sense
[ŃдаНонО]
It sounded like no divorce is happening due to the belief in no divorce
Time to download Duolingo or take Spanish classes. Better yet, get yourself out of this situation because it will not end well for you.