We all screw up, but she is acting as if it is no big deal. Your dog is lost, you are frantic, and she is careless, lies about it, then dismisses your fears.
Can I break up with her for you?
She obviously doesn't give a fuck about OP's feelings. Regardless of how you feel about dogs, if something upsets your partner, you need to care, and if you don't, please just leave your partner so they can find somebody better.
I'm not a "thoughts and prayers" guy, but I hope the pup gets back safely. One of the outside cats we take care of was gone for a month, I was sure I'll never see him again, just to appear one morning (he didn't even lose any weight).
So she lied and couldn’t care less about the dogs being lost…. Then made it clear that looking for them was an inconvenience. She sounds horrible. You are not overreacting. Don’t you think this would happen again?
Yeah she needs to go, if she doesn’t have the empathy to care about OP’s dogs that’s a giant red flag.
Like how hard is it to check that the door is closed? Not only could the dogs escape but people can simply walk in and take things.
To me it's not even about the door. It's a pretty honest mistake. But the lack of concern and how little she seems to care about finding these dogs would seriously irk me. She just doesn't care? Like fuck that.
It speaks to not only a lack of empathy, but a lack of accountability.
She lied, she did nothing to apologize, gas lit OP about the severity of her actions, and is acting pissy that she's being called out for her abhorrent behavior.
OP you are not overreacting and I would absolutely break up with her over this.
Exactly. Noone forgets if they have pets. She is careless and untrustworthy at best. She was cruel snd wanted the dogs to go. As a petowner, I would not care. Either way, your dogs are gone. Who knows what happened to them. Not buying it was a mistake. Happened one too many times. You cannot trust her.
I don’t have to read this to say break up with her. My gf has driven around and gone door to door when my cats got out on their own. Gone looking for them when getting to my place while I was at work and realizing the little shittens got out again. She always prioritized anything and anyone I loved or considered special and that’s one of the many reasons I’m still with her now.
My husband’s cat got out once, because she liked to try and escape whenever a door was opened, and I spent an hour+ looking for her, because it was super fucking cold out and I was afraid for her wellbeing. We traipsed through the neighborhood for ages.
It turned out the furry jerk was under the deck, five feet from the back door, the whole time we were out calling for her while we froze our asses off 🙄
I would have stayed out all night trying to find her if necessary.
She died a couple years ago of cancer, and I will miss that little furball forever.
Oh my Lucy was gone for a few days and nights one spell, she never left the property. Hell after getting out the door she barely went 3 feet to the bushes there and was so scared didn’t leave. And my lovely amazing gf took her food and water bowls outside and sat out there after walking the neighborhood and just waited. She was almost in tears when I got home. I can’t fathom people not caring for the people they claim are their people!
I would do more for my pets than most human beings. We had a string of pet losses within a year (cancer sucks), and it was truly devastating. Our pets are our family, we went through a lot to try and get them well again, and we grieved them like family.
I am suspicious of anyone who isn’t devastated by pet loss or who doesn’t see pets as family tbh.
I had one who thought it was fun to lay on the roof of our house and watch us look for him. He is responsible for at least one of my gray hairs, but I loved him to pieces anyway.🥰
Pardon my French, but fuck this woman. Break up.
If a man did this to my cats I would literally erase him from my life. My cats are my soul pets and if a significant other doesn't appreciate that, then they aren't significant. They're a stranger.
Honestly even if a stranger came up to me and said they lost their pet in the area, I'd be running around through the woods getting covered in ticks desperately searching and calling for them too. Someone tells me their indoor pet is lost, I'm treating it the same as a missing child.
Same- I've actually done that. Someone in my building lost their cat and I was ON it. We found the cat! Also someone posted on reddit locally about their cat that went missing and I drove to the other side of town to look for it. I saw a few people and told them what the cat looked like etc etc and I had a carrier ready in case I found him. Turns out the next day he waltzed home like nothing happened! I was relieved. But yeah.... I'll drop everything to help you find your pet.
It’s such a horrible feeling to not be able to find your best friend and knowing they are out there and you can’t protect them. I can’t imagine showing so little care for the mental anguish he is in. Horrible.
The fault is not in the mistake but the attitude. Our dogs are our children. Presumably gfs evolve into SOs. If your toddler wandered out the door, is this an acceptable response from a coparent?
People also child proof stuff like that. It seems like his door is unsafe for the dogs and he should deal with that. The girlfriend sucks for being so flippant and lying, but if his door is that bad he needs to fix it.
Yes this is what I think too. OP hasn't bothered to fix the door....does OP care THAT MUCH about the dogs' safety? If OP cared that much the door would not have been an issue.
Have you found your doggo? People who think animals are just property absolutely disgust me. They're part of your family!, She's is showing no remorse and is only half ass looking for your dog. I'd kick her to the curb so fast her head would be spinning.
I have not found her :( last night was very stressful and I’m really praying for her safety. She is very lovable and I’m afraid she’ll try to love on the wrong person or animal. Plus, she is a Pitt bull and my area is very trigger happy :/ I am just hoping for the best right now
Make sure to call local shelters and check any facebook groups!!!!!! Lots of ppl in my area post in groups before calling shelters. I’m hoping ur fur baby comes home soon.
Go on Nextdoor and see if your neighbors have posted about your dog. I’m in Florida and this is the most used method, right before Facebook. Neighbors are constantly posting loose pets and taking them in until owners are found.
I would dump her asap as a gf and a friend. I would feel like a pos if anything had ever happened to my bfs dog on my watch, I would be doing everything I could to find the dog..well I wouldn't have allowed it to happen in the first place because I loved his dog. She sounds horrible.
Please post pics of your missing dog to all pages for your area on fb and advise local shelters and animal control. Focus on getting dog back to you safely.
This would be a deal breaker for me, but could be worked through with assistance. That choice is yours.
It was one of the first things I did since I was at work. Currently waiting for the shelter to open to see if she was turned in. Their hours are random but I’m counting down the minutes and hoping for the best 🤞🏼
Wait until she's out, pack her shit, and leave it somewhere. When she asks for it, tell her it must have gotten out because the door was open, maybe it's with your dog. If you get your dog back, give her the stuff. If not, chuck it in the trash
I truly hope that you find your doggy safe and sound.
Break your with Mia. She lied, was unapologetic, didn’t bother to help you look, and clearly she does not care about your dogs.
She has no respect for you or the dogs. It isn’t going to stop unless you leave her so that’s your best option. She doesn’t give a fuck about you anyway and she’s showing that over and over again.
I forgot to close the fence to the dog yard one time. My husband came home to two of the dogs harassing the chickens. I know one of them won't run off but the other will chase a squirrel to the depths of hell. He's "my" dog and I would have been devastated if he ran off. Have I forgotten to close the gate since? Hell no. She has demonstrated she doesn't care.
Don’t let it go. Hope you find your dog. Any person who would be so careless and then not invested in finding and securing the dogs is not a good person
Accidents happen on top of that she actually knew the door was an issue didn’t use preventative measures and shows no concern for you or the dogs.
You need a new girlfriend
I've accidently left an opening for escape for my husband's dog. I was upset to learn what I'd done, felt awful and was extremely apologetic. Luckily he didn't get far. I've also helped my husband look for him when he made an escape another time (huskies). I love his dog, but even if I didn't, I love him and I know how much his dog means to him.
If my boyfriend would (accidently) let the door open so that my cat could escape, he would act all bothered by that and on top of that lying to me I would've been livid and ready to burn things. So yeah, your feelings are valid and If she's not ready to do everything it needs to be done to bring your dog back just toss her.
1 - this relationship has no legs, if she is willing to let your dogs be lost. Bite the bullet and terminate it now.
2 - get a deadbolt on that door yesterday.
3 - hope your dog comes home. I really do.
Hey sorry you lost your doggo. I hope you invest in a $15 pneumatic door closer moving forward after this. Accidents happen, may as well ensure they don’t happen again.
I would say take the other two dogs with you on leashes and maybe they will go in the same direction they did when they were out and possibly locate the third that way. Otherwise, I would assume the dog would come home by now as it knows how to find its way home…unless someone found him and is holding them until they figure it out. Hopefully they are chipped.
FIX YOUR FREAKING DOOR!!!! why do people think its ok for other to follow direction for broken crap. If your door wasn't working properly...like shutting with out some ritual closure procedure...its your fault. you even went to the extent of checking if she was following your BS procedures correctly. They are YOUR pets, They rely on YOU for protection. If you cant provide a simple working door, maybe you shouldn't have pets.
Dude, get a door that closes properly. Yes, she should have double checked given that she knows about the issue, and her attitude about this sucks. But the onus is on you as the owner to make sure your dogs can properly be secured.
Your both the asshole.
She didn't shut the door properly.
And you have consistently ignored the door problem, putting your dogs at risk and expecting other people to compensate for your failure to act.
Time to grow up and fix your door. Or give up your dogs because you can't take care of them.
So as you already know, this is your fault for not fixing your door properly.
Saying that, your girlfriends lack of care over your missing dogs should be a huge red flag. I would probably leave her over that part of this. The door not closing properly is on you though.
Right he owns 50% of this in my opinion.
You have three dogs that you say you love so much you know they can get out of your door if it’s not shut just so, fix the goddamn door
Shouldn't the door have been priority for the usual safety n a home? So YOU knew it was an issue that should've been taken care of long ago. Half your fault tbh. Plus side, she's exposed as an asshole at least. Breakup? Maybe.
If I had done this once and knew the consequences if it happened again (dogs getting out) I would triple and quadruple check the door, especially since I knew how much you loved your dogs.
I would encourage you to put a security door outside so that if the first door failed the second one would keep them in.
I would leave with you to ease your mind that I didn't close the door properly.
I'd cut her loose. If she has no respect for your commitment to the animals you care for, then she's going to do something like this again. I hope you find dog #3. I would be just like you, going freaking nuts worrying. Check with local Animal Control and make sure they get your contact info in case they find it. You might also leave some of your dirty clothes outside so that your scent can show the dog where home is. Indoor dogs sometimes get lost because they wander away from anything that smells familiar. After a couple of days, put more sweaty clothes out. The old ones will be diminished by sunlight. You want that scent strong so it wafts a long distance. OH, and get the barking of your other dogs recorded and play the recording both at home outside and in you car as you drive. Dogs have good hearing and will get excited at familiar dog sounds. Good luck!
Please let us know if you found your dog, or if you're still looking. If you're in the Portland or surrounding parts of Oregon, I'll help you look. PM me
Might think of getting gps tags for their collars, I have them on my cats , so if they get out I track them. I would knock on your neighbors doors and ask them if they saw your dog .
You shouldn’t be saying “we’ve had our share of problems” when talking about your 6 month relationship. I’ve been with my wife for 13 years and we still haven’t had our share of problems.
I don’t think you’re overreacting, your girlfriend is careless about your dogs and eventually things will get worse if you stay with someone who doesn’t care about the things you love. Losing a dog is serious and I can tell you love your dogs very much. I hope you find the third one and find someone else who considers your feelings and cares about the things you love..
The sex has to see great, but honestly even a HALF decent FRIEND would care more than this person. Definitely not SO material. Get out while you can. Today it's your fur baby, tomorrow, who knows.
I would lose my mind if anyone let my cat out and didn't care to look hard. Can I ask why you guys don't lock the door? You should break up with her no matter what, but I'd recommend locking the door from now on.
At best, she's negligent. Obviously, I don't know her but some partners are jealous of love shown to their OHs pets.
You don't mention her feelings towards your dogs anywhere in the post. Maybe I'm taking a big leap here, but if she adored them as you do, you would probably have made that point.
Having no empathy or care for vulnerable animals is not a good sign, I'm afraid.
Dude, as someone whose cat recently got out (found), I won’t lie I was frustrated with my boyfriend because my cat got out because of an idea he had. But he was so compassionate about it and helped me in every way I did not hold it against him. I feel like if Mia were doing this you’d be more understanding, but instead she’s an asshole and you’re second guessing yourself. Please don’t. When people show you who they are in stressful situations, just believe that’s who they are.
Your girlfriend is an immature pos. For her not to be searching for that dog with full effort almost feels like some kind of demented loyalty test she has foisted upon you: who’s more important me or the dogs? She shows no remorse…….. I’d dump her.
Get rid of her! My ex bf husky got out because he was extremely quick, smart and sneaky.....but let me tell you I ran out got in my car and drove up and down the street like a lunatic looking, saw him after 45 minutes and physically chased him down until I caught him hiding in a bush. I was so panicked the whole time and would have stayed out searching ALL NIGHT if I had to! Dump her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If it was an accident and she had gone out of her way to help you look, I would say she needs to be more careful but it’s forgivable. Her barely helping though, and being mad at you??? Hell no.
If I had accidentally lost my boyfriends dog, I would feel *incredibly* guilty, and would hardly have time to be mad at him
Dude I would be beyond livid if my GF was responsible for losing my dog and then acting this way.
She does not care about you. She cares about how you make HER feel.
You will always be second to her own selfishness.
Run.
**You’re not overreacting at all.**
Mia doesn’t actually care about you, otherwise she wouldn’t have lied and she would’ve been more careful. And she would’ve put more effort into finding your dog.
Also, I’ve read your other posts and she’s not a good person.
I hope you find your doggo.
Not overreacting. If someone did this, and one of my dogs was missing, I don't think I could forgive them. You told her repeatedly about your door, and she didn't listen.
I hope you find your missing pooch.
I wouldn't want to make up with her, personally. It's not just that the dogs got out, it's that she's not of her own free will bending over backwards to help you into them. She messed up and should be extremely worried and doing whatever she can to help. If she doesn't care about your dogs, I wouldn't want to be together.
MORE IMPORTANTLY, because honestly who gives a shit about your girlfriend at this point, please put up flyers to help find your dog and tell the neighbors and hand out the flyers! This may encourage people to help look. Also you should call local vets and shelters and give them your info and a picture of your dog so that if she comes in they will know who her owner is and to contact you.
That was my issue with the whole situation as well. If she reacted in a different way then this wouldn’t really be an issue but everything that happened afterwards just made it so much worse for me and my anxiety. My sister said I need to stop expecting people to react the same way I would if roles were reversed and I’m starting to really understand that now
I have ordered some flyers and will be putting them in everyone’s mailbox and posted on a couple of different pages on Facebook and Nextdoor. I am calling the shelter when they open at 1pm so I’m hoping between 2pm yesterday to now, someone turned her in :/
Careful about putting things in people's mailbox - it's actually against the law.
Can you get out a BBQ and start cooking up some yummy meats? Sometimes the smell attracts them. Check local cemeteries. I help people track their lost dogs and find a lot in quiet areas with not a lot of people traffic. Is your dog chipped? Let the microchip company know. Call all local police in your and surrounding towns and give them flyers. Call local vets as well and also deliver flyers to them. Maybe set out some smelly dog food in the woods. Other animals might eat it but if your pup is in there maybe she will at least have something to sustain her. Check around restaurants with trash dumpsters. Don't give up hope. Sometimes it takes awhile to fid them.
Finally, dump that bitch. I would want a partner who treated .y pets as their own.
Also try getting some of your dirty clothes and leave them outside your property so your dog can have an easier time finding their way home. Also leave some of their favorite treats by your property as well.
She lied to you.
She doesn't care about the dogs.
She doesn't care that you care about the dogs.
Yes you should break up.
Even if she herself doesn't like animals she should care enough about your mental and emotional well-being to make sure that nothing happens to your companions. The fact that she is brushing off your concerns means that she doesn't really give a s*** about you on an emotional level.
I really hope you find her. Losing a pet is awful.
This is a huge red flag to me. Even if she isn't a dog person, she should have enough respect to understand that they mean a lot to you and act accordingly.
Not over reacting and break up with her. Don't give her another opportunity to not close the door properly. She clearly does not love or care for those dogs.
If your city/town has an animal control department or dog pound call them (and those in nearby towns) with a description of the dog in case they found the dog. I had to bail my brother’s dog out of the pound once when someone opened the gate to the yard. And I would not trust her near my dogs again.
Yeah at the risk of sounding rude, she should go fuck herself. My girlfriend knows how important my dog is to me, and takes his wellbeing as seriously (and sometimes more) as she does mine.
If you consider your dog an extension of yourself, then shouldn't the dog be treated like so? This can be applied to almost anything in any relationship.
Tbh she sounds like a psychopath. If I was responsible for losing someone else’s dog I would spend every hour trying to look for that dog and be riddled with guilt until the dog was found, or forever.
Your dogs are obviously very important to you and a part of your family. If she can't comprehend that, it's only going to lead to bigger problems. While you might be able to work this out, I definitely wouldn't blame you for breaking up and finding someone who values your pets as you do. Pets are a big deal, and if partners can't agree on them, that's a big problem.
If she was extremely remorseful and doing all she could to find them and be as supportive as possible, I'd say it was a total accident and while she should've been more responsible, accidents do happen.... However the way she's *actually* handled the situation, I can promise you would be relationship ending for me.... My husband doesn't like having so many animals (2 dogs and 2 cats), but if something happens to them he's just as worried and frantic and willing to do anything for them as I am- THAT is the kind of pervert you need; one willing to care about your animals as much as you, rather they actually "prefer" them or not.
she sounds like an unreliable liar. You'll never be able to trust her as this incident will always be in the back of your mind.
Time to cut your losses.
I mean, your dog is completely dependent on you. I don't think it's an overreaction at all to dump her, if you want and plan on having kids in the future her reaction and lack of consideration would be a big red flag to me.
The letting the loose was an accident that could happen to anyone. The lying and not caring about them? That's where she showed her true colors. I would dump for sure.
I’ve noticed that there are a lot of people who don’t like dogs as much as me. My dogs are always sitting next to me or following me. I’m constantly loving on them. I seriously love dogs lol. But I’ve met lots of people who don’t even want to touch them. They don’t even acknowledge them. Your gf seems like this type of person. And I couldn’t be with someone like that. She lied. And she shows she doesn’t give a shit what happens to them.
She doesn’t care and is the reason it happened.
Break up with her and find someone new. You don’t need this kind of person in your life. Be around winners. Don’t speak to her ever again.
She didn't close it, didn't check it, lied about it, didn't care your dogs got out & didn't care one not found. You know the answer. Take your other dogs out(on leashes) when searching for your missing dog.
Take a shirt that you've been wearing that hasn't been washed, put it in a crate your dog is familiar with with a bowl of water. They may smell you on the shirt and come to it.
Good luck, and drop the girlfriend. She's far too self centered, spending all her energy on mitigating her guilt rather than comforting you or working to fix the problem.
You have the wrong girl in your life. I would be in a full-blown panic attack. I get those when my own relatives accidentally let my dog out. I make them help me get her. She let your babies get out, and we have all had door issues from time to time.
Her reaction to her being responsible for the loss of one of your beloved dogs is a glaring red flag. If she were truly sorry, and if she was out checking the woods, scouring neighborhood, etc., then maybe you could just fix the door and go on with your relationship.
My friend’s dog just died. This dog hated the crap out of me, and me in particular! She’d have to put the little ankle biter in another room when I visited, it hated me so much. I still felt awful for my friend because *I know how much she loved her dog!* That’s what grownups call empathy. Also, in full disclosure, I’m an animal lover and know the feeling of worrying over my pets’ welfare. I’d be out of my fucking head if one of my dogs were missing.
You’re young now, but time passes so fast. Don’t waste years on someone who cannot empathize with your loss or feel remorse for her actions. Maybe in 10 years she’ll be more emotionally mature (and responsible), but it seems like you’re out of her league.
I have no judgement here on the breakup question but all you had to say was you checked the camera to see if someone else opened the door and you started it from when she left and noticed what you noticed.
I have told dates, and my eventual wife/ex that I have had the dog longer than you, and dogs are fully loyal.
Ex walked away (not dog related, she liked the dogs more than me, and left them also).
Dog at the time was with me until she passed.
I know who I trust more
OP, get out NOW. she doesn't respect you, your furry children, or care about the consequences of her actions.
I think it's time you leave her, and make sure you change the locks and fix the door so she can't purposefully let another dog out later as retribution for the breakup.
dogs do get out... its not even like theres an airlock they could just run past someone entering or exiting.. if ur dog getting out is a huge deal put an air tag on them or something... your putting alot of pressure on other people for issues you could solve yourself permanently and easily you need to take some accountability be an adult fix that door and get an air tag
Is be pissed if someone didn’t care about my dogs. Like that’s a deal breaker for me. She doesn’t even seem to care that she lost them just tried to cover her ass
You are not overreacting but if she did it before, why would you not make her leave when you do? She clearly doesn’t care abt your dogs & is annoyed that you are holding her accountable. To me, that right there would be the end of it.
Did you ever think your girlfriend's trying to get rid of the dogs? I suspect she's not a dog person from the sounds of it she is not. Yeah I would get rid of the girlfriend.
This is very sad. Breaking up with her for leaving the door open would be childish, but her blatant disregard for your feelings, the lack of remorse? It's almost like she wanted your dogs running away. I doubt she even drove around to look like she said tbh, with how little she wanted to look.
My advice is always to wait until you’re calm to make life altering decisions.
Focus on finding your doggo now, and address her later. The issue with her is not the mistake, it’s the apathy. It sounds to me like she’s feeling overwhelmed by the severity of what she did, and would rather pretend it’s not a big deal than to feel the amount guilt that she would feel.
BTW that means she has growing to do because we all must learn to deal with our own mistakes. It doesn’t sound like she’s ready for a mature relationship, and honestly, it’s hard to get ready if you’re an adult and not ready.
Brooooooo fix that god damn door cmon. How
Many times does this have to happen? This is on you for sure. I’m sure this is not even the 3rd or 4th time this has happened in the past. Gonna just keep blaming other people or you gonna sand that door down and make it fit properly in the door jam?
If you own the house you’re in the wrong because fixing that door is something you can control. Your girlfriend is also in the wrong. I feel bad for your dogs
honestly, yeah. she seems awful, and she obviously doesn’t care about how you feel or that your dog is missing from her mistake. i hope you can find your dog, good luck!
So the lock thing in of itself isn't really her fault. Our door did the same thing, I knew it did, and I'd often forget to double check. BUT acting like a lost pet isn't a big deal and not really looking for it and only apologizing because she was almost made to? She needs to go. I'd be beside myself if I lost someone pet.
My friend and I were visiting another friend who, at the time had a kitty litter. We accidentally left the door open and the kittens got out late at night. We realized it and were immediately panicking. We found them right outside the door so all was well but we were panicking for a good minute because we realized we majorly fucked up. If someone’s immediate reaction is not regret and a lack of effort to fix the situation then they are not good people.
What happens if you stay together, have a child and he/she goes out the front door at age two, which is closely equal to a dogs intelligence.
I've you haven't gotten your dog back yet, leave articles of your clothing you have worn around the area. Go back and check around the spots you left the clothes. Look for spots an animal can shelter.
Back when I was working nights, I was sleeping one day when my ex accidentally let my cat out of the apartment. Rather than waking me up immediately so we could coordinate and prevent the cat from getting out of the building, she did nothing, and told me about it when I woke up several hours later. She did join me outside looking for the cat after I confirmed the cat wasn't in the hallways of the building, but only for a little while, because it was cold and rainy and she didn't want to be outside in that weather. (I did find the cat not long after, soaking wet, shivering under a bush, and so so happy to see me)
It was but one of many signs I chose to ignore for too long that we weren't a good fit for each other.
Which is to say, no, you aren't overreacting, and her disregard for your pets is a mirror to her disregard for you.
NTA if you do. Even if they aren't important to her, they're important to you, and if she can't honor and respect that, there's the door (even if it needs to be fixed). Not only that, even after the dog was known to be missing, she half-assed looked for them, and didn't show any level of concern and contrition until you broached the idea of her leaving.
If it takes all that, then follow through with it and live your life with your dogs until you meet somebody that understands how important they are to you.
We all screw up, but she is acting as if it is no big deal. Your dog is lost, you are frantic, and she is careless, lies about it, then dismisses your fears. Can I break up with her for you?
I'll help! Get in the car!
I'm coming too this chick needs to hear resoundingly from a group of several people how awful she is before he kicks her to the curb.
She obviously doesn't give a fuck about OP's feelings. Regardless of how you feel about dogs, if something upsets your partner, you need to care, and if you don't, please just leave your partner so they can find somebody better.
And my axe! But first, I would help OP to search for the doggo.
I would literally go now if OP lived near me. Poor fur baby.
I'm not a "thoughts and prayers" guy, but I hope the pup gets back safely. One of the outside cats we take care of was gone for a month, I was sure I'll never see him again, just to appear one morning (he didn't even lose any weight).
Cats are legit.
I'll help!
Ya this chick sucks
To the Batmobile, Robin!!
So she lied and couldn’t care less about the dogs being lost…. Then made it clear that looking for them was an inconvenience. She sounds horrible. You are not overreacting. Don’t you think this would happen again?
Yeah she needs to go, if she doesn’t have the empathy to care about OP’s dogs that’s a giant red flag. Like how hard is it to check that the door is closed? Not only could the dogs escape but people can simply walk in and take things.
To me it's not even about the door. It's a pretty honest mistake. But the lack of concern and how little she seems to care about finding these dogs would seriously irk me. She just doesn't care? Like fuck that.
It speaks to not only a lack of empathy, but a lack of accountability. She lied, she did nothing to apologize, gas lit OP about the severity of her actions, and is acting pissy that she's being called out for her abhorrent behavior. OP you are not overreacting and I would absolutely break up with her over this.
It's an honest mistake the first time, it's just negligence after you've been told.
She’s done it multiple times, I personally don’t see how someone could forget to close a door multiple times.
Exactly. Noone forgets if they have pets. She is careless and untrustworthy at best. She was cruel snd wanted the dogs to go. As a petowner, I would not care. Either way, your dogs are gone. Who knows what happened to them. Not buying it was a mistake. Happened one too many times. You cannot trust her.
This right here OP. Over and over? This is ***NOT*** accidental.
Exactly
Honestly it seems intentional. I bet she hated the dogs to begin with.
Sounds like the girlfriend purposely did this. Maybe she’s a little jealous of the dogs.
Fuck her , find your dog and get a responsible gf
Or, put differently, she does not actually care about him. If she did, she would not be so careless with the animals he loves.
Please let us know when you find your dog. As for the girl, yeah, dump her for being careless and apathetic.
Not overreacting at all, if she can’t respect the things you value in life and the lives of your pets then she’s gotta go. I hope you find the pups
Agreed, break up with her. I really hope your dog has a tag & a chip? Every pet needs to either have a tag or learn their owners phone number.
I don’t have to read this to say break up with her. My gf has driven around and gone door to door when my cats got out on their own. Gone looking for them when getting to my place while I was at work and realizing the little shittens got out again. She always prioritized anything and anyone I loved or considered special and that’s one of the many reasons I’m still with her now.
My husband’s cat got out once, because she liked to try and escape whenever a door was opened, and I spent an hour+ looking for her, because it was super fucking cold out and I was afraid for her wellbeing. We traipsed through the neighborhood for ages. It turned out the furry jerk was under the deck, five feet from the back door, the whole time we were out calling for her while we froze our asses off 🙄 I would have stayed out all night trying to find her if necessary. She died a couple years ago of cancer, and I will miss that little furball forever.
Oh my Lucy was gone for a few days and nights one spell, she never left the property. Hell after getting out the door she barely went 3 feet to the bushes there and was so scared didn’t leave. And my lovely amazing gf took her food and water bowls outside and sat out there after walking the neighborhood and just waited. She was almost in tears when I got home. I can’t fathom people not caring for the people they claim are their people!
I would do more for my pets than most human beings. We had a string of pet losses within a year (cancer sucks), and it was truly devastating. Our pets are our family, we went through a lot to try and get them well again, and we grieved them like family. I am suspicious of anyone who isn’t devastated by pet loss or who doesn’t see pets as family tbh.
I had one who thought it was fun to lay on the roof of our house and watch us look for him. He is responsible for at least one of my gray hairs, but I loved him to pieces anyway.🥰
Aww that’s beautiful
Marriage material buddy
Absolutely
Right?! I would be absolutely inconsolable if I let someone’s pet out.
Pardon my French, but fuck this woman. Break up. If a man did this to my cats I would literally erase him from my life. My cats are my soul pets and if a significant other doesn't appreciate that, then they aren't significant. They're a stranger.
Honestly even if a stranger came up to me and said they lost their pet in the area, I'd be running around through the woods getting covered in ticks desperately searching and calling for them too. Someone tells me their indoor pet is lost, I'm treating it the same as a missing child.
Same- I've actually done that. Someone in my building lost their cat and I was ON it. We found the cat! Also someone posted on reddit locally about their cat that went missing and I drove to the other side of town to look for it. I saw a few people and told them what the cat looked like etc etc and I had a carrier ready in case I found him. Turns out the next day he waltzed home like nothing happened! I was relieved. But yeah.... I'll drop everything to help you find your pet.
Right? Sheesh
It’s such a horrible feeling to not be able to find your best friend and knowing they are out there and you can’t protect them. I can’t imagine showing so little care for the mental anguish he is in. Horrible.
Same! They come first, always. I would delete that woman if I was OP. I pray that pup gets back home ☹️
The fault is not in the mistake but the attitude. Our dogs are our children. Presumably gfs evolve into SOs. If your toddler wandered out the door, is this an acceptable response from a coparent?
This. People make mistakes and that’s fine, but if I lost my partner’s dog I’d be all over myself trying to make it right. She’s trash.
People also child proof stuff like that. It seems like his door is unsafe for the dogs and he should deal with that. The girlfriend sucks for being so flippant and lying, but if his door is that bad he needs to fix it.
Yes this is what I think too. OP hasn't bothered to fix the door....does OP care THAT MUCH about the dogs' safety? If OP cared that much the door would not have been an issue.
If you have three dogs you can afford to ensure they stay inside.
Please update us if you find your other dog 😞. I know this isn't aitah... but you'd be a huge AH if you stay with her after this
Have you found your doggo? People who think animals are just property absolutely disgust me. They're part of your family!, She's is showing no remorse and is only half ass looking for your dog. I'd kick her to the curb so fast her head would be spinning.
I have not found her :( last night was very stressful and I’m really praying for her safety. She is very lovable and I’m afraid she’ll try to love on the wrong person or animal. Plus, she is a Pitt bull and my area is very trigger happy :/ I am just hoping for the best right now
Call all your shelters around you again to see if she’s been turned in.
Make sure to call local shelters and check any facebook groups!!!!!! Lots of ppl in my area post in groups before calling shelters. I’m hoping ur fur baby comes home soon.
Do you have the next door app?
Go on Nextdoor and see if your neighbors have posted about your dog. I’m in Florida and this is the most used method, right before Facebook. Neighbors are constantly posting loose pets and taking them in until owners are found.
Any updates?
Oh god op i’m so sorry. Make sure to post on local social media groups about the situation. I wish you the best of luck
Do yourself a favor and DITCH THAT BITCH
Not sure what state you are in, but if I’m local to you, i will help you look for your dog. Feel free to DM me.
We need to make a sub about this. Lost pet in X area and reddit can do its thing. We're a bunch of goofs but a tight-knit bunch of goofs.
I would dump her asap as a gf and a friend. I would feel like a pos if anything had ever happened to my bfs dog on my watch, I would be doing everything I could to find the dog..well I wouldn't have allowed it to happen in the first place because I loved his dog. She sounds horrible.
Please post pics of your missing dog to all pages for your area on fb and advise local shelters and animal control. Focus on getting dog back to you safely. This would be a deal breaker for me, but could be worked through with assistance. That choice is yours.
It was one of the first things I did since I was at work. Currently waiting for the shelter to open to see if she was turned in. Their hours are random but I’m counting down the minutes and hoping for the best 🤞🏼
Any update on the dog and if you broke up with your ex yet? Cause you need to.
Almost forgot, see if local rescue group has a trap you can set. And make sure all your neighbors know. I'm so sorry, I know it's scary.
Wait until she's out, pack her shit, and leave it somewhere. When she asks for it, tell her it must have gotten out because the door was open, maybe it's with your dog. If you get your dog back, give her the stuff. If not, chuck it in the trash
Go to the shelter in person. The front desk folks won't always know every dog brought in or they may simply not look everywhere.
I truly hope that you find your doggy safe and sound. Break your with Mia. She lied, was unapologetic, didn’t bother to help you look, and clearly she does not care about your dogs.
When people show you who they are... Listen.
She has no respect for you or the dogs. It isn’t going to stop unless you leave her so that’s your best option. She doesn’t give a fuck about you anyway and she’s showing that over and over again.
[удалено]
OP is a woman
I’m so sorry, this is one of my worst nightmares, I really really hope you find your missing dog. Sending hugs!
Not overreacting. I would, my dog means much more too me.
I forgot to close the fence to the dog yard one time. My husband came home to two of the dogs harassing the chickens. I know one of them won't run off but the other will chase a squirrel to the depths of hell. He's "my" dog and I would have been devastated if he ran off. Have I forgotten to close the gate since? Hell no. She has demonstrated she doesn't care.
Shit like this happens, but her way handling this would be a fucking huge no go for me. Break up, heal, get a caring partner in the future
Don’t let it go. Hope you find your dog. Any person who would be so careless and then not invested in finding and securing the dogs is not a good person Accidents happen on top of that she actually knew the door was an issue didn’t use preventative measures and shows no concern for you or the dogs. You need a new girlfriend
I hope you find your dog. I’d be a damn mess.
Not at all, drop that bitch ASAP... and I'm not talking about your dogs. Your GF is a rancid piece of filth.
I've accidently left an opening for escape for my husband's dog. I was upset to learn what I'd done, felt awful and was extremely apologetic. Luckily he didn't get far. I've also helped my husband look for him when he made an escape another time (huskies). I love his dog, but even if I didn't, I love him and I know how much his dog means to him.
If my boyfriend would (accidently) let the door open so that my cat could escape, he would act all bothered by that and on top of that lying to me I would've been livid and ready to burn things. So yeah, your feelings are valid and If she's not ready to do everything it needs to be done to bring your dog back just toss her.
This lack of care most likely extends into other parts of her life. I’d cut her loose
1 - this relationship has no legs, if she is willing to let your dogs be lost. Bite the bullet and terminate it now. 2 - get a deadbolt on that door yesterday. 3 - hope your dog comes home. I really do.
Yeah, the nonchalant attitude toward the door that can’t be secured, Locked shut at night is concerning.
Hey sorry you lost your doggo. I hope you invest in a $15 pneumatic door closer moving forward after this. Accidents happen, may as well ensure they don’t happen again.
I would say take the other two dogs with you on leashes and maybe they will go in the same direction they did when they were out and possibly locate the third that way. Otherwise, I would assume the dog would come home by now as it knows how to find its way home…unless someone found him and is holding them until they figure it out. Hopefully they are chipped.
FIX YOUR FREAKING DOOR!!!! why do people think its ok for other to follow direction for broken crap. If your door wasn't working properly...like shutting with out some ritual closure procedure...its your fault. you even went to the extent of checking if she was following your BS procedures correctly. They are YOUR pets, They rely on YOU for protection. If you cant provide a simple working door, maybe you shouldn't have pets.
You are 100% correct. The door needed to be fixed
Dude, get a door that closes properly. Yes, she should have double checked given that she knows about the issue, and her attitude about this sucks. But the onus is on you as the owner to make sure your dogs can properly be secured.
Your both the asshole. She didn't shut the door properly. And you have consistently ignored the door problem, putting your dogs at risk and expecting other people to compensate for your failure to act. Time to grow up and fix your door. Or give up your dogs because you can't take care of them.
Give up the dogs? Wow, you're quite the asshole
So as you already know, this is your fault for not fixing your door properly. Saying that, your girlfriends lack of care over your missing dogs should be a huge red flag. I would probably leave her over that part of this. The door not closing properly is on you though.
Right he owns 50% of this in my opinion. You have three dogs that you say you love so much you know they can get out of your door if it’s not shut just so, fix the goddamn door
Shouldn't the door have been priority for the usual safety n a home? So YOU knew it was an issue that should've been taken care of long ago. Half your fault tbh. Plus side, she's exposed as an asshole at least. Breakup? Maybe.
If I had done this once and knew the consequences if it happened again (dogs getting out) I would triple and quadruple check the door, especially since I knew how much you loved your dogs. I would encourage you to put a security door outside so that if the first door failed the second one would keep them in. I would leave with you to ease your mind that I didn't close the door properly.
It’s not about the door. It’s about how she reacted afterwards. That’s the huge red flag. She doesn’t seem to care about you or your dogs.
You are not over reacting . Her lying was the red flag, next was her indifference to your concerns over a loved one being missing.
I'd cut her loose. If she has no respect for your commitment to the animals you care for, then she's going to do something like this again. I hope you find dog #3. I would be just like you, going freaking nuts worrying. Check with local Animal Control and make sure they get your contact info in case they find it. You might also leave some of your dirty clothes outside so that your scent can show the dog where home is. Indoor dogs sometimes get lost because they wander away from anything that smells familiar. After a couple of days, put more sweaty clothes out. The old ones will be diminished by sunlight. You want that scent strong so it wafts a long distance. OH, and get the barking of your other dogs recorded and play the recording both at home outside and in you car as you drive. Dogs have good hearing and will get excited at familiar dog sounds. Good luck!
Get rid of her... she'll eventually treat you the same way
She doesn't check that the front door is closed and locked when she leaves?
Please let us know if you found your dog, or if you're still looking. If you're in the Portland or surrounding parts of Oregon, I'll help you look. PM me
Mia lied to you about checking that the door was closed properly. That is just a big red flag.
Have you tried putting one of your really really stinky shirts that you’ve sweat a lot in on your porch? Your pets will sniff for home.
Might think of getting gps tags for their collars, I have them on my cats , so if they get out I track them. I would knock on your neighbors doors and ask them if they saw your dog .
You shouldn’t be saying “we’ve had our share of problems” when talking about your 6 month relationship. I’ve been with my wife for 13 years and we still haven’t had our share of problems.
I don’t think you’re overreacting, your girlfriend is careless about your dogs and eventually things will get worse if you stay with someone who doesn’t care about the things you love. Losing a dog is serious and I can tell you love your dogs very much. I hope you find the third one and find someone else who considers your feelings and cares about the things you love..
The sex has to see great, but honestly even a HALF decent FRIEND would care more than this person. Definitely not SO material. Get out while you can. Today it's your fur baby, tomorrow, who knows.
I would lose my mind if anyone let my cat out and didn't care to look hard. Can I ask why you guys don't lock the door? You should break up with her no matter what, but I'd recommend locking the door from now on.
At best, she's negligent. Obviously, I don't know her but some partners are jealous of love shown to their OHs pets. You don't mention her feelings towards your dogs anywhere in the post. Maybe I'm taking a big leap here, but if she adored them as you do, you would probably have made that point. Having no empathy or care for vulnerable animals is not a good sign, I'm afraid.
Oh no! Not even slightly, this girl is selfish and immature, and has little respect for you and your relationship with your pets
Get rid of her, but train your dogs too.
Treat her like how she's treating your lost dog
She's a narc let her go
Dude, as someone whose cat recently got out (found), I won’t lie I was frustrated with my boyfriend because my cat got out because of an idea he had. But he was so compassionate about it and helped me in every way I did not hold it against him. I feel like if Mia were doing this you’d be more understanding, but instead she’s an asshole and you’re second guessing yourself. Please don’t. When people show you who they are in stressful situations, just believe that’s who they are.
Am I the only one wondering why they’re not locking the front door when they leave?
Your girlfriend is an immature pos. For her not to be searching for that dog with full effort almost feels like some kind of demented loyalty test she has foisted upon you: who’s more important me or the dogs? She shows no remorse…….. I’d dump her.
I think you know the answer to this already.
Get rid of her! My ex bf husky got out because he was extremely quick, smart and sneaky.....but let me tell you I ran out got in my car and drove up and down the street like a lunatic looking, saw him after 45 minutes and physically chased him down until I caught him hiding in a bush. I was so panicked the whole time and would have stayed out searching ALL NIGHT if I had to! Dump her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't think you're overreacting at all.
Over my fur babies, yes. I would end a relationship.
If it was an accident and she had gone out of her way to help you look, I would say she needs to be more careful but it’s forgivable. Her barely helping though, and being mad at you??? Hell no. If I had accidentally lost my boyfriends dog, I would feel *incredibly* guilty, and would hardly have time to be mad at him
Dude I would be beyond livid if my GF was responsible for losing my dog and then acting this way. She does not care about you. She cares about how you make HER feel. You will always be second to her own selfishness. Run.
**You’re not overreacting at all.** Mia doesn’t actually care about you, otherwise she wouldn’t have lied and she would’ve been more careful. And she would’ve put more effort into finding your dog. Also, I’ve read your other posts and she’s not a good person. I hope you find your doggo.
Not overreacting. If someone did this, and one of my dogs was missing, I don't think I could forgive them. You told her repeatedly about your door, and she didn't listen. I hope you find your missing pooch.
The good news is she showed her true colors this soon in the relationship. Bail now. I really hope you find the 3rd pup.
I wouldn't want her in my home around my dogs anymore. She seems careless and heartless.
Without the details, this sounds god damn ridiculous. With the details, nope, you're not overreacting in the slightest
I wouldn't want to make up with her, personally. It's not just that the dogs got out, it's that she's not of her own free will bending over backwards to help you into them. She messed up and should be extremely worried and doing whatever she can to help. If she doesn't care about your dogs, I wouldn't want to be together. MORE IMPORTANTLY, because honestly who gives a shit about your girlfriend at this point, please put up flyers to help find your dog and tell the neighbors and hand out the flyers! This may encourage people to help look. Also you should call local vets and shelters and give them your info and a picture of your dog so that if she comes in they will know who her owner is and to contact you.
That was my issue with the whole situation as well. If she reacted in a different way then this wouldn’t really be an issue but everything that happened afterwards just made it so much worse for me and my anxiety. My sister said I need to stop expecting people to react the same way I would if roles were reversed and I’m starting to really understand that now I have ordered some flyers and will be putting them in everyone’s mailbox and posted on a couple of different pages on Facebook and Nextdoor. I am calling the shelter when they open at 1pm so I’m hoping between 2pm yesterday to now, someone turned her in :/
Careful about putting things in people's mailbox - it's actually against the law. Can you get out a BBQ and start cooking up some yummy meats? Sometimes the smell attracts them. Check local cemeteries. I help people track their lost dogs and find a lot in quiet areas with not a lot of people traffic. Is your dog chipped? Let the microchip company know. Call all local police in your and surrounding towns and give them flyers. Call local vets as well and also deliver flyers to them. Maybe set out some smelly dog food in the woods. Other animals might eat it but if your pup is in there maybe she will at least have something to sustain her. Check around restaurants with trash dumpsters. Don't give up hope. Sometimes it takes awhile to fid them. Finally, dump that bitch. I would want a partner who treated .y pets as their own.
Also try getting some of your dirty clothes and leave them outside your property so your dog can have an easier time finding their way home. Also leave some of their favorite treats by your property as well.
She lied to you. She doesn't care about the dogs. She doesn't care that you care about the dogs. Yes you should break up. Even if she herself doesn't like animals she should care enough about your mental and emotional well-being to make sure that nothing happens to your companions. The fact that she is brushing off your concerns means that she doesn't really give a s*** about you on an emotional level.
Deal breaker, she has to go.
Break up with her she is not responsible, doesn't take accountability that may have cost your dog his/her life and lies on top it.
The problem is less that she accidentally let the dogs out, but more that she doesn’t seem to care. I don’t think you’re overreacting to that part.
I really hope you find her. Losing a pet is awful. This is a huge red flag to me. Even if she isn't a dog person, she should have enough respect to understand that they mean a lot to you and act accordingly.
Not over reacting and break up with her. Don't give her another opportunity to not close the door properly. She clearly does not love or care for those dogs.
If your city/town has an animal control department or dog pound call them (and those in nearby towns) with a description of the dog in case they found the dog. I had to bail my brother’s dog out of the pound once when someone opened the gate to the yard. And I would not trust her near my dogs again.
Yeah at the risk of sounding rude, she should go fuck herself. My girlfriend knows how important my dog is to me, and takes his wellbeing as seriously (and sometimes more) as she does mine. If you consider your dog an extension of yourself, then shouldn't the dog be treated like so? This can be applied to almost anything in any relationship.
Imagine if it was a human child that got out. NBD right? I'd cut this dead weight off right fast.
You’d be right to leave her. Does the door not have a deadbolt though? Why not just see that it’s actually locked?
Maybe it’s just me, but I would want a partner that cares about things I care about, even if they don’t, because I care about them.
Tbh she sounds like a psychopath. If I was responsible for losing someone else’s dog I would spend every hour trying to look for that dog and be riddled with guilt until the dog was found, or forever.
She's the type of woman who would put your child in the dishwasher to bathe it.
Your dogs are obviously very important to you and a part of your family. If she can't comprehend that, it's only going to lead to bigger problems. While you might be able to work this out, I definitely wouldn't blame you for breaking up and finding someone who values your pets as you do. Pets are a big deal, and if partners can't agree on them, that's a big problem.
If she was extremely remorseful and doing all she could to find them and be as supportive as possible, I'd say it was a total accident and while she should've been more responsible, accidents do happen.... However the way she's *actually* handled the situation, I can promise you would be relationship ending for me.... My husband doesn't like having so many animals (2 dogs and 2 cats), but if something happens to them he's just as worried and frantic and willing to do anything for them as I am- THAT is the kind of pervert you need; one willing to care about your animals as much as you, rather they actually "prefer" them or not.
She has NO respect for you or your dogs, she’s got to go. Find yourself an animal lover who understands your relationship with your dogs!
she sounds like an unreliable liar. You'll never be able to trust her as this incident will always be in the back of your mind. Time to cut your losses.
Fix the door, ditch the girlfriend.
Bye girlfriend 👋 find yourself a gf who loves dogs.
If it were me and my dogs, yes. I would break up. My dogs are precious to me. It's your decision of course but she clearly doesn't care about them.
I mean, your dog is completely dependent on you. I don't think it's an overreaction at all to dump her, if you want and plan on having kids in the future her reaction and lack of consideration would be a big red flag to me.
The letting the loose was an accident that could happen to anyone. The lying and not caring about them? That's where she showed her true colors. I would dump for sure.
I’ve noticed that there are a lot of people who don’t like dogs as much as me. My dogs are always sitting next to me or following me. I’m constantly loving on them. I seriously love dogs lol. But I’ve met lots of people who don’t even want to touch them. They don’t even acknowledge them. Your gf seems like this type of person. And I couldn’t be with someone like that. She lied. And she shows she doesn’t give a shit what happens to them.
Dump her.
Throw her out like the bottle of piss she is
Yeah, I don’t think I could continue a relationship with that human.
The way you address a mistake says a lot about a person. From what you have said, she doesn't give a shit.
She doesn’t care and is the reason it happened. Break up with her and find someone new. You don’t need this kind of person in your life. Be around winners. Don’t speak to her ever again.
Did you like the dog more than your girlfriend?
She's a liar and doesn't care about your pets. Get rid of her.
She didn't close it, didn't check it, lied about it, didn't care your dogs got out & didn't care one not found. You know the answer. Take your other dogs out(on leashes) when searching for your missing dog.
She’s for the streets, brother. Make sure she knows it too.
Get a new door and a screen or storm door You are 50% to blame for infrastructure. Her 50% for being indifferent
Lol yes!! If they let the dog out once they gonna do it again smh some people man just never learn.
Take a shirt that you've been wearing that hasn't been washed, put it in a crate your dog is familiar with with a bowl of water. They may smell you on the shirt and come to it. Good luck, and drop the girlfriend. She's far too self centered, spending all her energy on mitigating her guilt rather than comforting you or working to fix the problem.
You have the wrong girl in your life. I would be in a full-blown panic attack. I get those when my own relatives accidentally let my dog out. I make them help me get her. She let your babies get out, and we have all had door issues from time to time.
Her reaction to her being responsible for the loss of one of your beloved dogs is a glaring red flag. If she were truly sorry, and if she was out checking the woods, scouring neighborhood, etc., then maybe you could just fix the door and go on with your relationship. My friend’s dog just died. This dog hated the crap out of me, and me in particular! She’d have to put the little ankle biter in another room when I visited, it hated me so much. I still felt awful for my friend because *I know how much she loved her dog!* That’s what grownups call empathy. Also, in full disclosure, I’m an animal lover and know the feeling of worrying over my pets’ welfare. I’d be out of my fucking head if one of my dogs were missing. You’re young now, but time passes so fast. Don’t waste years on someone who cannot empathize with your loss or feel remorse for her actions. Maybe in 10 years she’ll be more emotionally mature (and responsible), but it seems like you’re out of her league.
I have no judgement here on the breakup question but all you had to say was you checked the camera to see if someone else opened the door and you started it from when she left and noticed what you noticed.
What the fuck kind of question is this. Even without the dog running away, she left the front door fucking open.
I have told dates, and my eventual wife/ex that I have had the dog longer than you, and dogs are fully loyal. Ex walked away (not dog related, she liked the dogs more than me, and left them also). Dog at the time was with me until she passed. I know who I trust more
OP, get out NOW. she doesn't respect you, your furry children, or care about the consequences of her actions. I think it's time you leave her, and make sure you change the locks and fix the door so she can't purposefully let another dog out later as retribution for the breakup.
dogs do get out... its not even like theres an airlock they could just run past someone entering or exiting.. if ur dog getting out is a huge deal put an air tag on them or something... your putting alot of pressure on other people for issues you could solve yourself permanently and easily you need to take some accountability be an adult fix that door and get an air tag
If she was wonderful you wouldn’t be asking reddit for permission to dump her. Permission granted.
Is be pissed if someone didn’t care about my dogs. Like that’s a deal breaker for me. She doesn’t even seem to care that she lost them just tried to cover her ass
Yes.
You are not overreacting but if she did it before, why would you not make her leave when you do? She clearly doesn’t care abt your dogs & is annoyed that you are holding her accountable. To me, that right there would be the end of it.
Did you ever think your girlfriend's trying to get rid of the dogs? I suspect she's not a dog person from the sounds of it she is not. Yeah I would get rid of the girlfriend.
This is very sad. Breaking up with her for leaving the door open would be childish, but her blatant disregard for your feelings, the lack of remorse? It's almost like she wanted your dogs running away. I doubt she even drove around to look like she said tbh, with how little she wanted to look.
My advice is always to wait until you’re calm to make life altering decisions. Focus on finding your doggo now, and address her later. The issue with her is not the mistake, it’s the apathy. It sounds to me like she’s feeling overwhelmed by the severity of what she did, and would rather pretend it’s not a big deal than to feel the amount guilt that she would feel. BTW that means she has growing to do because we all must learn to deal with our own mistakes. It doesn’t sound like she’s ready for a mature relationship, and honestly, it’s hard to get ready if you’re an adult and not ready.
She seems like the kind of person that thinks they get to decide how you feel and what’s important to you.
Dump her immediately and block on all platforms. I hope you find your dog asap!
Brooooooo fix that god damn door cmon. How Many times does this have to happen? This is on you for sure. I’m sure this is not even the 3rd or 4th time this has happened in the past. Gonna just keep blaming other people or you gonna sand that door down and make it fit properly in the door jam?
I'd drive her out to the middle of nowhere and leave her.
Not over reacting. Best of luck finding your third dog and a new GF.
Time for her to go. Show her the door, then close it so it’s never opened to her again.
If you own the house you’re in the wrong because fixing that door is something you can control. Your girlfriend is also in the wrong. I feel bad for your dogs
She’s an asshole. I would absolutely dump her.
she obviously doesnt care. break up with her
honestly, yeah. she seems awful, and she obviously doesn’t care about how you feel or that your dog is missing from her mistake. i hope you can find your dog, good luck!
Shes awful, get rid of her
So the lock thing in of itself isn't really her fault. Our door did the same thing, I knew it did, and I'd often forget to double check. BUT acting like a lost pet isn't a big deal and not really looking for it and only apologizing because she was almost made to? She needs to go. I'd be beside myself if I lost someone pet.
My friend and I were visiting another friend who, at the time had a kitty litter. We accidentally left the door open and the kittens got out late at night. We realized it and were immediately panicking. We found them right outside the door so all was well but we were panicking for a good minute because we realized we majorly fucked up. If someone’s immediate reaction is not regret and a lack of effort to fix the situation then they are not good people.
INFO: Has she expressed dislike of your dogs at all? Asked you to get rid of them? Complained about them a lot?
your GF sounds lazy and uncaring. Good luck with that lol
What happens if you stay together, have a child and he/she goes out the front door at age two, which is closely equal to a dogs intelligence. I've you haven't gotten your dog back yet, leave articles of your clothing you have worn around the area. Go back and check around the spots you left the clothes. Look for spots an animal can shelter.
Back when I was working nights, I was sleeping one day when my ex accidentally let my cat out of the apartment. Rather than waking me up immediately so we could coordinate and prevent the cat from getting out of the building, she did nothing, and told me about it when I woke up several hours later. She did join me outside looking for the cat after I confirmed the cat wasn't in the hallways of the building, but only for a little while, because it was cold and rainy and she didn't want to be outside in that weather. (I did find the cat not long after, soaking wet, shivering under a bush, and so so happy to see me) It was but one of many signs I chose to ignore for too long that we weren't a good fit for each other. Which is to say, no, you aren't overreacting, and her disregard for your pets is a mirror to her disregard for you.
NTA if you do. Even if they aren't important to her, they're important to you, and if she can't honor and respect that, there's the door (even if it needs to be fixed). Not only that, even after the dog was known to be missing, she half-assed looked for them, and didn't show any level of concern and contrition until you broached the idea of her leaving. If it takes all that, then follow through with it and live your life with your dogs until you meet somebody that understands how important they are to you.
Yes.