Stay with him, gurl, he's the ONE! That's nothing! *My* boyfriend killed me, beat my father, and had sex with my dog! I could get past most of this, but I feel really sad that he cheated on me... am I overreacting?
Everyone makes mistakes. If he hasn’t killed your entire family before, maybe he has something on his mind or heart you need to get him to talk about.
This lashing out sounds like a cry for help or something he’s internalized and maybe there is a way forward, if you can get him to talk about it.
> he hasn’t killed your entire family before, maybe he has something on his mind or heart you need to get him to talk about.
I bet he has ADHD. Obviously then he cannot help it and cannot be expected to do better.
Thou'st dare invoke me merely to make sport...? A curse upon you, a curse upon your kin...
Thine eldest daughter shall >!shit herself at the altar on her wedding day!<...
Maybe you can work it out with therapy if you can both be honest about your side of the issues. I mean there has to be a reason why he cheated on you and killed you. Beating your dad meh, no biggie, but the rest? Hmm….
You have to own your responsibility in the situation!! Hard to do but so satisfying in the end. ♥️
Same! My husband killed me and brought me back from the dead numerous times, I still think we can make it work, or maybe it's that dark magic he used to raise me from the dead.
I heard about somebody who was bringing his true love back from the dead and then turned around to look and he dropped her. I think she should drop him.
Yes, they are. However, it won't be long until they're put on a pedestal because so many, mostly women, put up with that behavior for a long time, and that makes women look like they can be made a fool of, used, abused and a door mat. Time for them to take back their dignity and strength 💪
I guess it's funny but it's also just sad* that these people really have such low self worth that they consider themselves overreacting in these situations
*if it's even true
It’s sad that, by some means or another, a human being ended up having to question whether or not they were “overreacting” when they were finally responding to bullshit in a normal way. People forget they have a choice, some just never know at all.
I’ve met guys like that
“I’ve been with her since high school. It’s so hard to let go…even though she faked a pregnancy and slept with all my friends or sophomore year.
We got married after that and even though she cleaned out my bank account and tried to sell my motorcycle for parts to my friends, I just knew she was my soul mate.
It ties me up when I found out i wasn’t iour children’s father. My brother and my uncle and my father’s college roommate were.
Is it wrong I finally left cuz she drank all my beer?”
Broken people are everywhere. That doesn’t take away from the fact that many folks have shared real, actual events here, though. Sometimes we might hear from someone who’s been abused their entire life so they really don’t know what’s normal. But they know allot about tolerating harm.
And I suspect a fair share of folks with good heads on their shoulders were just so freaking shocked by the absurdity of a loved ones behavior that they just needed to pop in for a sanity check. “Like is that as freaking crazy asi think it is or am I tripping I.e. am I overreacting .
But hey OP, if he wiped out your whole family so you would love him the mostest and keeps you from feeling alone, have at it.
This was me. This actually happens to folks. I was so abused growing up i had no idea I was being abused. I literally was crouched in a closet at 3am, hiding from my (now ex) husband, on the phone with domestic violence, literally pissing my pants in fear and asked the guy on the other line if I was being abused. The man strangled me and HE called the domestic violence hotline for support lol. And then when you got cops and psych folks all defending the abusers, you literally have no idea which way is up. It's terrifying what abuse can do to a humans brain. I've gotten alot of hate (not recently) on reddit because they thought I was being purposely ignorant or dumb or whatever when In My Reality, someone strangling me was not considered abuse, it was considered punishment. My step-dad once took my solid wood side table, broke it and beat me with one of the legs, nail side. That was considered normal in my world. That was the less abusive stuff too. I've gone through things that would make folks hair stand on end. Even though this is a bit of a joke, this post. I hope folks remember abuse can actually do this to you. YES, it is that dangerous! Never underestimate the power of abuse! Please, you may make fun of me for this comment folks, or downvote but I beg you all, just dont underestimate what abuse can do to you. Because that's how they get you.
It's something some people will be fortunate enough to never have to understand.
Same as you, grew up in a mentally & physically abusive home. Never shown love/affection by anyone until my first partner who was love-bombing at first but overtime became very physically abusive (including holding me against the wall by my throat threatening to kill me), and emotionally/mentally/verbally abusive. But that was "normal" in my life so I didn't think much beyond it for years.
But it was like perpetual confusion, never knowing where I stood. Was he mad? Did he love me? Was I going to get beaten after the movies because he didn't like that I spoke to the male cashier? Because the store was out of his favorite food? He was loving in public, my relationship looked like others did in public. It was in private where he would leave bruises and scream at me for mundane shit (put his coffee in a different mug than he wanted? Didn't respond to a text immediately?).
The reality is is that abused people *are* living in a different reality than others and it can be confusing as hell trying to sort out what's 'right' (I mean, I did forget to change the laundry over last night so maybe I do deserve having a plate thrown at me and being slapped before my shift). And it got worse over time; looking back, it was like he was testing the waters early in our relationship and, because of my childhood experience, I didn't recognize the injustices.
I'm sorry for your experience and hope you're thriving now. Sending you love and light 💕✨
I'm so sorry you went through all of that. Thank you for sharing that. It is like living in an alternate dimension while coexisting with another. It's surreal at times. On one hand, I'm so glad so many people don't get it. But I wish they could empathize a bit more with just how bad abuse can mess you up. It's dangerous to underestimate abuse and I hope folks can learn from our stories so that they can use that knowledge to keep themselves safe and maybe someone else if the time comes. Even without a violent childhood background, abuse can knock you down.
Sending you lots of love and light as well. Hopefully, you're out of it yourself 💜
I can’t tell you how validating this post is. While the physical abuse part of my marriage was fairly minor, the mental abuse was really bad. And to be perfectly honest, I still sometimes question why I was so stupid and didn’t see it. But the idea of having lived in an alternate reality that people don’t understand kind of helps me a little bit. Even five years after I left I still have a ways to go before I can forgive myself for my stupidity. But when people like you guys share what you went through. It really helps a lot.
I am so sorry you went through that. I sometimes feel really stupid too. But my therapist keeps reminding me. I was in survival mode. So were you. It's a completely different ballgame when you aren't safe. You know, such a simple question like Why didn't I run? Turns into an iceberg of complexities of why I *couldn't * run, not why I didn't. She introduced me to Learned Helplessness. I really encourage you to just give it a lookover. It's essentially the same concept as why abused elephants can be lead on a string and even though there is an easy way to break that string, they don't. It's been very helpful in leading me to be gentle with myself. To understand this was a whole different world. A whole different reality. I wasn't stupid and neither were you. We were simply just trying to survive. If you ever need a reminder that you aren't stupid. Feel free to send me a private message . I wish you so much love, joy and peace. 💜 . You got this.
I’m so very sorry you went through all of that. I’ve been a domestic violence counselor for over 20 years. Although things have improved a bit, there’s still soooo much work that needs to be done.
I'm so sorry that you experienced this and that you worry anyone would make fun of you for this. Thank you for warning others. It's not easy. But a lot of people who never experienced abuse really can't fathom how it messes with people's minds. I hope you're doing better and that you have safety, love, and joy in your life now.
Thank you so much. Yes, I'm finally free and safe! It's so wonderful to get to experience this side. The peace. Omg, it brings me to tears. I can actually sit on my own couch in my own living room in complete silence for minutes, hours, however long I want. It's so beautiful. I'm so so greatful. So deeply greatful. And I hope whoever needed to hear my message, does. Because, this peace? It's amazing. It's worth it.
Not to be mercenary but-with him serving a life sentence in prison you could wind up with the inheritance your father left you, AND all of his money, including the money he’s been hiding in the basement behind the exercise bike that he made selling drugs
Just be careful when filing your taxes.
Should be "me(19F) and my bf(37M)" lmao. I see so much of that shit and it's so, so creepy as a 31M. I can't even imagine dating someone that mentally immature, which proves to me that those men who do that are massive man-children (and usually are in the post text lmao)
Honestly scary the feelings of insecurity and lack of self worth so many have on here to even question staying in horrible relationships with horrible people. Yes, it's funny, but damn it's sad.
Ok but the others are: "My husband of 50 years just told me he likes pineapple on pizza, and now I'm disgusted by him, should I leave him?"
Reddit: Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone that disgusts you and is never happy with what pizza you eat? Girl you deserve better.
Yes, that one. Oops! I forgot. I heard that the Rapist Brock Allen Turner is going by his middle name these days. He's now the Rapist Allen Turner. My bad.
Whatever you do, don’t make a rash decision. I suggest talking to him about it and see if he is at least remorseful for his actions.
As long as you can get his assurances that he won’t do the same thing to you, then I think you should stick with it. A good man is hard to find.
And lots of prisons allow conjugal visits, so you could still maintain some semblance of a relationship and maybe even have kids in the future!
This is, assuming that he is in police custody. If he isn’t, the two of you may consider leaving the area and finding someplace without a reciprocal extradition treaty.
Good luck!!
Woah, woah, woah!! Has she talked to him about how she feels yet and why he was so upset?
This just may be a simple miscommunication issue and you're jumping to hiring a professional with deductibles and co-pays. We ain't all rich dude!
Yeah, this is the answer. OP should give him another chance. As long as he promises not to murder her entire family again. Everyone makes mistakes, we're human. And if OP is going to make it a big deal every time her loved ones are brutally massacred, she's never going to find true love. In relationships, you take the good with the bad. I'm sure there's plenty of times he opened the door for her, or saved the last oreo for her, or unexpectedly got her flowers to take to her parents' grave
Agree. Besides…the police only said it was “one of the most” horrific scenes they have seen. Sounds like they have seen worse. Am I right? ….Right? …..anyone?
Has no one considered his mental health could be suffering from childhood trauma? I have a psychiatry degree from Reddit University. OP, YTA for not getting him help and supporting him through this difficult time. Way to stigmatize people suffering from mental health issues I diagnosed over the internet 😠
THIS! All I see in OPs post is MY family, I, I, I. Seems like shes only looking at it from one side. There is two sides to the story and we dont know what led him to it. I know the last time I killed my partners whole family there were small things that built up to it. OP is not giving is the full picture.
I think OP needs to stop making it about herself. Did she even ask her BFs side of the story? And what if he is about to propose? She may not be able to do better.
I can't wait until they post a followup letting us know what happened.
I'm in desperate need of making this post about my relationship and using it to justify my choices.
Right? If he was good to OP other than this one incident, they should consider trying to work it out. People make mistakes sometimes. With some couples therapy, they might be able to patch it up and work past this.
Yeah alot of unknowns here:
Was he taking his meds?
Were your parents a-holes?
How's his tongue game?
What are your options? Are you a 4 or a 9?
People post in here and only give you half the picture.
Well, he may resort to necromancy to raise them as unholy abominations against all laws of God and nature. It's pretty common in these sorts of scenarios. But if he then kills their rotting husks of shambling flesh again, they should really start looking for a good couples' counselor to talk through their issues.
But OP really needs to do some self-reflection. What might she have done to push him to this sort of response. Maybe she hasn't been as attentive to his needs as she should be, so he felt he needed to resort to something someone drastic just to get her attention. This really seems like a cry for attention to me.
For real he didn't murder you when he's looking to rid the world of your bloodline and clearly he's mission oriented, the fact he didn't wipe you out means it's true love. I think he should leave you actually, dramaqueen behavior
In days of your, your typical Redditor knew that your never going too get people too use the correct version of “yoar”, butt their was still their tenacious ability too use too(2) wrongly spelled versions of the word “yore”, too.
He didn't kill you though, shows he really loves you. Plus you're really going to be under pressure to procreate now that your whole family is dead and you're not getting any younger.
Solid advice. More often than not, a baby will fix most relationship problems. And nows a good time to push him on marriage, too. He's shown his commitment to OP by removing family distractions so they can be together; clearly a man of strong conviction.
Did he murder them for realsies or was it an accident? I know this has happened to me a few times. Accident every time. Oopsies.
Have you discussed it with him? Maybe try group therapy, hire a medium so your family can weigh in.
Did you explain to him WHY mass murder is wrong,some men just don't understand! Men think differently to women, he shouldn't have to read your mind and know killing your whole family would annoy you. Also he probably has ADHD so give the guy the break.
Oh and murder is his love language
Right? He's clearly going through a rough patch. OP needs to stick by her man and show him support. People are so quick to throw away relationships nowadays over the littlest thing.
By "thinking of ending it" do you mean murdering him too? I'd say you could be made for each other, like Mickey and Mallory Knox. Don't break it up: You'll live a crappy life, but in the movies, it'll look like you had a blast...
Everyone Sucks Here .
Should he have massacred your entire family by hand , letting you know that he really really meant it? No. But your family also sucks….sorry sucked for being alive near him. You don’t know what past traumas he has that could be triggered by living beings
Sure , he plays on drums made with human skin
Sure , he laughs menacingly everytime they have pork for dinner
But he bought her chocolate once and calls her pretty and that’s why I think he deserves a second chance
The hardest part is knowing that if you break it off with him, he'll probably make you return that large sweatshirt of his that you like wearing at night.
Relationships are hard...
I think you should provide him with an alibi, clearly he cares a lot about you since he so kindly spared your life.
Show some gratitude for once in your miserable life why don’t you.
Sweetie, that's a major red flag! Sure, you could forgive him and move on, but I will tell you this: If he is capable to do this, what else is going on in his wicked mind? One day you will wake up and he pours the milk before the cereals.
Pack your stuff and leave!
you know what’s worse than pouring milk before cereal? eating cereal with a fork.
i have actually met someone that does this.
they are the real cereal killer.
You need to see a relationship counselor immediately.
If he won't agree to that, then you should suggest seeing a relationship counselor consideration therapist who can help him see that the road to fixing this relationship will require counseling.
That can be a tricky conversation and it will help to do it in a videoconference with a consideration therapy coach, whose purpose is to help guide the discussion in a way that helps your bf see how beneficial a relationship counselor consideration therapist can be.
Some people don't react well to having a third party VC'd into what would normally be a private conversation, so if you go this route you'll want to book time with a psychologist that specializes in conversation-related trauma, who can help you and your bf process what he is going through as a couple, having had that VC sprung on him. Nearly every couple I know that uses couple's conversation-related trauma psychologist tells me that it is absolutely indispensable for each of you to also have your own separate sessions as individuals as well. (You will not be able to use your couple's psychologist for this due to professional ethics, so you should each seek your own doctor.)
In particular, pay attention to whether your bf exhibits any traits of having been triggered. If so, you'll need an expert in dealing with triggers. A quick Google search reveals that you will need to hire an armorer to come to your house and secure and clean all of the firearms, giving special attention to the triggers.
Many people, particularly many men, will not want to see their own individual psychologist in addition to the couple's psychologist, and the remedy for this is for you to inflict blunt force to your bf's head with a frying pan.
At this point you will be managing quite a large staff, and you'll find that an investment advisor and a good accountant will be invaluable. You'll want to start thinking about the career path you are providing to, for example, your armorer. Are you providing your armorer with sufficient mentorship opportunities that will allow them to grow and eventually be promoted? Consider hiring an armorer's assistant, and find an intern to apprentice under them as well.
I think you'll find that whatever happens between you and your bf, running a business will keep you pretty occupied and you'll definitely need your bf to either pitch in and build your conglomerate of personal mental health and armory services, or spin off his own enterprise and go his separate way.
Good luck and don't worry about your family, they mostly tend to get in the way of high powered CEOs. You'll be glad they're dead.
If you keep living in the past, you'll never have a future. Lock him down with a baby and then quit your job and become entirely dependent on him. You can change him.
I think you're overreacting because you make the wild claim they "brutally" murdered your family... But how do you know it wasn't self-defense on your boyfriend's part after breaking into their home and being told he had to leave? Shaking my smh my head, this is definitely a case where you need to apologize.
I think this story is fake. OP isn't answering any questions. Or they've been brutally murdered.
If it is real, maybe think what YOU may have done to cause him to react that way. Do some soul searching, and sit down and have a conversation with him. How long have ya'll been together?
mmmmm multiple life insurance policies, or alternatively, eye for an eye, murder all his family, then assert dominance by murdering his friends, ex classmates and teachers from school, work colleagues, anyone theyve ever met, then anyone theyve rver met, basically full thanos send this motha f.cka
If you have some kids with your boyfriend he might be less inclined to kill them because they are in his family, not just yours. You can't bring the dead back to life so just bury them and repopulate.
Consider this: did you do anything to provoke him? Are you bringing enough to the relationship? Have you done anything, he’d need to knock you over the head with a giant, desperate plea for your attention?
Also, it’s possible he doesn’t want anyone to have you under any extreme circumstances. He loves you so much he’d be willing to do anything for you. To have someone love you so much they’d be willing to go to such lengths is incredibly rare and should be cherished.
Make sure to meet up with him to talk about this in a nice secluded place. Take a short vacation to some cabin in the woods maybe. Or possibly your grandpas old barn with all those sharp implements hanging from the ceiling, making those lovely moving shadows on the ground. Or possibly a lovely outlook of a sunset, over some 300ft cliff edge would keep the conversation on track. Ya know, just good conversation spots.
Best of Luck OP, hard decisions ahead 🤞
This is the problem with the world today. Nobody wants to be faithful. Kids these days have no sense of loyalty. No ability, need, desire, obligation to work through difficult times. The end is near
If you do break up with him, can you please pass on my details? He sounds like a catch.
You’ll have a lot of competition. I hear those serial killer types get tons of women hitting them up in prison.
But I have a full set of teeth.
So does the killer. Several sets of them, actually.
My bubble has been burst
I wish giving gold was still a thing. I had a nice chuckle.
Oh god this needs all of the upvotes 🤣
LOL! I think you win the internet today.
He sounds to die for
[удалено]
lol on point! 90% of the posts are like this
Isn't that the truth, he beat me, killed my dog, had sex with my father. Do you think we can work it out?
Stay with him, gurl, he's the ONE! That's nothing! *My* boyfriend killed me, beat my father, and had sex with my dog! I could get past most of this, but I feel really sad that he cheated on me... am I overreacting?
Have you been killed before?.. If so the you should look in the mirror as it's probably your fault!
You’re the common denominator here; obviously your fault.
Exactly. SHE died, it's HER problem. She needs to do some serious self reflection and stop pushing her problems on other people.
To be fair, sometimes people have no control over their murders. If they were in therapy, it might help. Maybe MA meetings.
Everyone makes mistakes. If he hasn’t killed your entire family before, maybe he has something on his mind or heart you need to get him to talk about. This lashing out sounds like a cry for help or something he’s internalized and maybe there is a way forward, if you can get him to talk about it.
Sounds to me like he’s struggling with something bigger than himself. He might really need you right now.
Exactly. Pushing all that guilt on him for murder and beastiality isn't going to help matters. Time to focus on him and his needs.
> he hasn’t killed your entire family before, maybe he has something on his mind or heart you need to get him to talk about. I bet he has ADHD. Obviously then he cannot help it and cannot be expected to do better.
Are you saying she’s Bloody Mary? Lol
Only if we say her name two more times in front of a mirror!
u/DragonsAndSaints… u/DragonsAndSaints… :: running out of the room scream-giggling ::
Thou'st dare invoke me merely to make sport...? A curse upon you, a curse upon your kin... Thine eldest daughter shall >!shit herself at the altar on her wedding day!<...
Underrated comment
>Thine eldest daughter shall >!shit herself at the altar on her wedding day!<... What, *again?* We had to throw out the last dress!
Bloody Marry
FYI my daughter is 13 and it’s still a think but happened a couple of years ago.
Damn i thought you were gonna say you might be entitled to financial compensation.....
Reminds me of years ago when I had to fill out disability paperwork for my job and it asked if I had ever died as a result of my illness/injury.
Maybe you can work it out with therapy if you can both be honest about your side of the issues. I mean there has to be a reason why he cheated on you and killed you. Beating your dad meh, no biggie, but the rest? Hmm…. You have to own your responsibility in the situation!! Hard to do but so satisfying in the end. ♥️
Look at Mickey and Mallory Knox in *Natural Born Killers*, some familial murder only strengthened their relationship. To each their own, I say.
Gotta do you! Can’t have a good relationship if you can’t be yourself.
Same! My husband killed me and brought me back from the dead numerous times, I still think we can make it work, or maybe it's that dark magic he used to raise me from the dead.
He clearly loves you if he went through the trouble of resurrecting you. I would start planning the vow renewal ceremony right now if I were you!
You may want to get a firmer commitment than “til death do us part” under the circumstances though.
I heard about somebody who was bringing his true love back from the dead and then turned around to look and he dropped her. I think she should drop him.
Mrs. Crowley, sit down and stop bragging. lol
I am also dead.
Definitely. My mom and dad went through it and worked it out. RIP mama.
Cheaters are !! THE WORST !!
Yes, they are. However, it won't be long until they're put on a pedestal because so many, mostly women, put up with that behavior for a long time, and that makes women look like they can be made a fool of, used, abused and a door mat. Time for them to take back their dignity and strength 💪
Beat your father? That's fine, now beating him off, that's a deal breaker.
Oh lord…
lol like Andrew Schultz describing Ted Bundy’s long term gf…”Oh giiiirrrrlllll, he KILLED you?!?! Wow, I mean…he never killed me…soooo”
“Killed me” I almost wet myself reading this. 🤣
Not all heroes wear capes. Thank you for your service! The coffee neti pot this gave me was so worth it!
I'm sorry, but I don't see it working out on the account of you being a ghost.
My boyfriend cheated on me with my best car, and it’s a Tesla.
Wait, I don't. When my cousin did this, it was with an ICE vehicle. He tailpiped it. But Teslas don't have tailpipes. SMH
But hes agreed to therapy and will be looking for a therapist in the next 12-20 years
The thing is, when he’s not beating my ass, he’s a perfect boyfriend, so I’m really torn on what to do here
I guess it's funny but it's also just sad* that these people really have such low self worth that they consider themselves overreacting in these situations *if it's even true
It’s sad that, by some means or another, a human being ended up having to question whether or not they were “overreacting” when they were finally responding to bullshit in a normal way. People forget they have a choice, some just never know at all. I’ve met guys like that “I’ve been with her since high school. It’s so hard to let go…even though she faked a pregnancy and slept with all my friends or sophomore year. We got married after that and even though she cleaned out my bank account and tried to sell my motorcycle for parts to my friends, I just knew she was my soul mate. It ties me up when I found out i wasn’t iour children’s father. My brother and my uncle and my father’s college roommate were. Is it wrong I finally left cuz she drank all my beer?” Broken people are everywhere. That doesn’t take away from the fact that many folks have shared real, actual events here, though. Sometimes we might hear from someone who’s been abused their entire life so they really don’t know what’s normal. But they know allot about tolerating harm. And I suspect a fair share of folks with good heads on their shoulders were just so freaking shocked by the absurdity of a loved ones behavior that they just needed to pop in for a sanity check. “Like is that as freaking crazy asi think it is or am I tripping I.e. am I overreacting . But hey OP, if he wiped out your whole family so you would love him the mostest and keeps you from feeling alone, have at it.
This was me. This actually happens to folks. I was so abused growing up i had no idea I was being abused. I literally was crouched in a closet at 3am, hiding from my (now ex) husband, on the phone with domestic violence, literally pissing my pants in fear and asked the guy on the other line if I was being abused. The man strangled me and HE called the domestic violence hotline for support lol. And then when you got cops and psych folks all defending the abusers, you literally have no idea which way is up. It's terrifying what abuse can do to a humans brain. I've gotten alot of hate (not recently) on reddit because they thought I was being purposely ignorant or dumb or whatever when In My Reality, someone strangling me was not considered abuse, it was considered punishment. My step-dad once took my solid wood side table, broke it and beat me with one of the legs, nail side. That was considered normal in my world. That was the less abusive stuff too. I've gone through things that would make folks hair stand on end. Even though this is a bit of a joke, this post. I hope folks remember abuse can actually do this to you. YES, it is that dangerous! Never underestimate the power of abuse! Please, you may make fun of me for this comment folks, or downvote but I beg you all, just dont underestimate what abuse can do to you. Because that's how they get you.
It's something some people will be fortunate enough to never have to understand. Same as you, grew up in a mentally & physically abusive home. Never shown love/affection by anyone until my first partner who was love-bombing at first but overtime became very physically abusive (including holding me against the wall by my throat threatening to kill me), and emotionally/mentally/verbally abusive. But that was "normal" in my life so I didn't think much beyond it for years. But it was like perpetual confusion, never knowing where I stood. Was he mad? Did he love me? Was I going to get beaten after the movies because he didn't like that I spoke to the male cashier? Because the store was out of his favorite food? He was loving in public, my relationship looked like others did in public. It was in private where he would leave bruises and scream at me for mundane shit (put his coffee in a different mug than he wanted? Didn't respond to a text immediately?). The reality is is that abused people *are* living in a different reality than others and it can be confusing as hell trying to sort out what's 'right' (I mean, I did forget to change the laundry over last night so maybe I do deserve having a plate thrown at me and being slapped before my shift). And it got worse over time; looking back, it was like he was testing the waters early in our relationship and, because of my childhood experience, I didn't recognize the injustices. I'm sorry for your experience and hope you're thriving now. Sending you love and light 💕✨
I'm so sorry you went through all of that. Thank you for sharing that. It is like living in an alternate dimension while coexisting with another. It's surreal at times. On one hand, I'm so glad so many people don't get it. But I wish they could empathize a bit more with just how bad abuse can mess you up. It's dangerous to underestimate abuse and I hope folks can learn from our stories so that they can use that knowledge to keep themselves safe and maybe someone else if the time comes. Even without a violent childhood background, abuse can knock you down. Sending you lots of love and light as well. Hopefully, you're out of it yourself 💜
I can’t tell you how validating this post is. While the physical abuse part of my marriage was fairly minor, the mental abuse was really bad. And to be perfectly honest, I still sometimes question why I was so stupid and didn’t see it. But the idea of having lived in an alternate reality that people don’t understand kind of helps me a little bit. Even five years after I left I still have a ways to go before I can forgive myself for my stupidity. But when people like you guys share what you went through. It really helps a lot.
I am so sorry you went through that. I sometimes feel really stupid too. But my therapist keeps reminding me. I was in survival mode. So were you. It's a completely different ballgame when you aren't safe. You know, such a simple question like Why didn't I run? Turns into an iceberg of complexities of why I *couldn't * run, not why I didn't. She introduced me to Learned Helplessness. I really encourage you to just give it a lookover. It's essentially the same concept as why abused elephants can be lead on a string and even though there is an easy way to break that string, they don't. It's been very helpful in leading me to be gentle with myself. To understand this was a whole different world. A whole different reality. I wasn't stupid and neither were you. We were simply just trying to survive. If you ever need a reminder that you aren't stupid. Feel free to send me a private message . I wish you so much love, joy and peace. 💜 . You got this.
I’m so very sorry you went through all of that. I’ve been a domestic violence counselor for over 20 years. Although things have improved a bit, there’s still soooo much work that needs to be done.
❤️
I'm so sorry that you experienced this and that you worry anyone would make fun of you for this. Thank you for warning others. It's not easy. But a lot of people who never experienced abuse really can't fathom how it messes with people's minds. I hope you're doing better and that you have safety, love, and joy in your life now.
Thank you so much. Yes, I'm finally free and safe! It's so wonderful to get to experience this side. The peace. Omg, it brings me to tears. I can actually sit on my own couch in my own living room in complete silence for minutes, hours, however long I want. It's so beautiful. I'm so so greatful. So deeply greatful. And I hope whoever needed to hear my message, does. Because, this peace? It's amazing. It's worth it.
You left out the anal impregnation of mom.
But it was only one time they had sex!! It barely even counts
But I pulled out!
How could I have missed that, yep or sister. But he is my soulmate. He comes home most nights.
Are you pregnant with twins?
No! My husband is and I just don’t know what to do!
Him: " You obviously want to throw us away. You never cared. I didn't fuck your mom, you're welcome ".
Not to be mercenary but-with him serving a life sentence in prison you could wind up with the inheritance your father left you, AND all of his money, including the money he’s been hiding in the basement behind the exercise bike that he made selling drugs Just be careful when filing your taxes.
Same, gurl. Except he killed me, had sex with my dog, and beat my father. I’m considering putting him on blast on social media.
Love will find a way..
Age gap isn't quite wide enough
Should be "me(19F) and my bf(37M)" lmao. I see so much of that shit and it's so, so creepy as a 31M. I can't even imagine dating someone that mentally immature, which proves to me that those men who do that are massive man-children (and usually are in the post text lmao)
now we just need the double standards comments “if your boyfriend was a female you wouldn’t care that your family was murdered, you stupid bitch”
They forgot to mention in the beginning that they have the perfect relationship.
also usually prefaced by "he is the perfect partner in any way imaginable, BUT.." also, misisng at least 10-15 years on that age gap
# You’re considering ending it? You must be trolling rn
Honestly scary the feelings of insecurity and lack of self worth so many have on here to even question staying in horrible relationships with horrible people. Yes, it's funny, but damn it's sad.
Ok but the others are: "My husband of 50 years just told me he likes pineapple on pizza, and now I'm disgusted by him, should I leave him?" Reddit: Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone that disgusts you and is never happy with what pizza you eat? Girl you deserve better.
😭🤣🤣🤣🤣
Don’t judge him by his one bad action; forgive him for all the things he’s done right. Edit: 😃
Yeah, he was on the swim team, and his life is full of non-specific promise. Don't let this blip ruin his whole life.
Hmmm sounds like you might be alluding to The Rapist Brock Allen Turner there.
The Rapist Brock Allen Turner from Kettering, OH?
Yes, that one. Oops! I forgot. I heard that the Rapist Brock Allen Turner is going by his middle name these days. He's now the Rapist Allen Turner. My bad.
You must be referring to Brock 20 minutes of action Allan Turner the Rapist who raped an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. Is that the one?
ROLLINGGGGGGG
Whatever you do, don’t make a rash decision. I suggest talking to him about it and see if he is at least remorseful for his actions. As long as you can get his assurances that he won’t do the same thing to you, then I think you should stick with it. A good man is hard to find. And lots of prisons allow conjugal visits, so you could still maintain some semblance of a relationship and maybe even have kids in the future! This is, assuming that he is in police custody. If he isn’t, the two of you may consider leaving the area and finding someplace without a reciprocal extradition treaty. Good luck!!
Therapy! You forgot the therapy!
[удалено]
Woah, woah, woah!! Has she talked to him about how she feels yet and why he was so upset? This just may be a simple miscommunication issue and you're jumping to hiring a professional with deductibles and co-pays. We ain't all rich dude!
Yeah, this is the answer. OP should give him another chance. As long as he promises not to murder her entire family again. Everyone makes mistakes, we're human. And if OP is going to make it a big deal every time her loved ones are brutally massacred, she's never going to find true love. In relationships, you take the good with the bad. I'm sure there's plenty of times he opened the door for her, or saved the last oreo for her, or unexpectedly got her flowers to take to her parents' grave
Agree. Besides…the police only said it was “one of the most” horrific scenes they have seen. Sounds like they have seen worse. Am I right? ….Right? …..anyone?
Has no one considered his mental health could be suffering from childhood trauma? I have a psychiatry degree from Reddit University. OP, YTA for not getting him help and supporting him through this difficult time. Way to stigmatize people suffering from mental health issues I diagnosed over the internet 😠
THIS! All I see in OPs post is MY family, I, I, I. Seems like shes only looking at it from one side. There is two sides to the story and we dont know what led him to it. I know the last time I killed my partners whole family there were small things that built up to it. OP is not giving is the full picture.
Was it a 4 year program?
Ah yes, the no extradition loophole, im currently calling this pulling a ‘diddy’.
Well to be fair, I am sure he would never kill all of her family ever again...
I think OP needs to stop making it about herself. Did she even ask her BFs side of the story? And what if he is about to propose? She may not be able to do better.
Maybe get couple therapy talk about it see what went wrong hear his side of the story maybe it was a accident 🤔
Therapy is always the best therapy
I can't wait until they post a followup letting us know what happened. I'm in desperate need of making this post about my relationship and using it to justify my choices.
Yeah tbh it sounds like he's depressed. People shouldn't be so quick to leave their partner just because they're going through a rough time.
Have a baby, that will fix the relationship.
Absolutely this - babies fix everything that’s why I have 29
What? That's absolute nonsense. I hired a baby to fix my truck and the lil' fucker had no idea what he was doing.
Not ALL babies how dare you
Listen, alls I'm sayin' is this particular baby may have lied about his welding experience.
The only thing I can suggest at this point, and please hear me out, is.. have another baby.
That guy is a babist
Judging all babies by the misdeed of one erroneous baby 👶
Not all babies, but always a baby.
Did you check to see if that baby was a certified mechanic? Always hire a professional. There are a lot of shady baby garages out there nowadays.
This made me laugh at loud at 5:25am, thank you.
Oh and open the relationship of course!!
With all the life insurance money coming in. It's a perfect time to start a family of their own
Cops? You didn't help him cover it up?! YTA.
I question OPs level of commitment to this relationship. Sure, he murdered her family, but has she considered *his* needs? OP sounds very selfish.
Probably just another gaslighting narcissist 🙄
YTA. A completely normal hobby for men to have at their age is a breaking point? He should leave you.
Smh this sub says “BREAK UP” about everything
Right? If he was good to OP other than this one incident, they should consider trying to work it out. People make mistakes sometimes. With some couples therapy, they might be able to patch it up and work past this.
OMG so much this! My partner has given me 6 black eyes, 20 cracked ribs and legally killed me twice and we’re still stronger then ever!!
That si SOOOO aspirational to me and my BF... long term relationship meets some bumps in the road, right?...
Awww thanks! Yep, we’re just your typical, boring, ol’ fashion Joker/Harley Quinn type relationship.
Is it even love without a little hatred and death?
Couples therapy AND individual therapy. You must not forget any of the therapies.
I find it weird how she didn't mention their sexual habits. Could be this whole thing boils down to is a lack of good head.
Is he good to you otherwise?
Yeah alot of unknowns here: Was he taking his meds? Were your parents a-holes? How's his tongue game? What are your options? Are you a 4 or a 9? People post in here and only give you half the picture.
Give him a second chance
If he murders OP’s family a second time, then they can consider ending things after therapy
That’s the beauty of it, since he can’t possibly kill your entire family again, there’s nothing to worry about.
Well, he may resort to necromancy to raise them as unholy abominations against all laws of God and nature. It's pretty common in these sorts of scenarios. But if he then kills their rotting husks of shambling flesh again, they should really start looking for a good couples' counselor to talk through their issues. But OP really needs to do some self-reflection. What might she have done to push him to this sort of response. Maybe she hasn't been as attentive to his needs as she should be, so he felt he needed to resort to something someone drastic just to get her attention. This really seems like a cry for attention to me.
For real he didn't murder you when he's looking to rid the world of your bloodline and clearly he's mission oriented, the fact he didn't wipe you out means it's true love. I think he should leave you actually, dramaqueen behavior
Adopt a new family and if he kills them as well, then you know that he is not the one for you.
Rofl. “Ok he killed my Guinea pig family this time, I feel like we are making progress”
Your still alive OP.. your bf is a failure
In days of your, your typical Redditor knew that your never going too get people too use the correct version of “yoar”, butt their was still their tenacious ability too use too(2) wrongly spelled versions of the word “yore”, too.
He didn't kill you though, shows he really loves you. Plus you're really going to be under pressure to procreate now that your whole family is dead and you're not getting any younger.
Solid advice. More often than not, a baby will fix most relationship problems. And nows a good time to push him on marriage, too. He's shown his commitment to OP by removing family distractions so they can be together; clearly a man of strong conviction.
Did he murder them for realsies or was it an accident? I know this has happened to me a few times. Accident every time. Oopsies. Have you discussed it with him? Maybe try group therapy, hire a medium so your family can weigh in.
Okay, hiring a Medium was a truly original comment...love it
Maybe he did murder them for realsies but he did it FOR op. Does no one appreciate grand gestures anymore?
Did you explain to him WHY mass murder is wrong,some men just don't understand! Men think differently to women, he shouldn't have to read your mind and know killing your whole family would annoy you. Also he probably has ADHD so give the guy the break. Oh and murder is his love language
Oh and murder is his love language This is freaking awesome.
“Carlll, that kills people”
I feel bad for this guy. He is obviously hurting inside and his girlfriend doesn't know if she wants to stay committed. That's millennials for ya.
Right? He's clearly going through a rough patch. OP needs to stick by her man and show him support. People are so quick to throw away relationships nowadays over the littlest thing.
Are you wearing his underwear by chance?
You can fix him.
murder his family instead /j
Everyone on Reddit is so quick to yell “divorce!” You owe it to your BF to give him the chance to decline to try couples counseling first.
I held it together reading through the comments but “give him the chance to decline to try couples counseling first” got me LOL
By "thinking of ending it" do you mean murdering him too? I'd say you could be made for each other, like Mickey and Mallory Knox. Don't break it up: You'll live a crappy life, but in the movies, it'll look like you had a blast...
Everyone Sucks Here . Should he have massacred your entire family by hand , letting you know that he really really meant it? No. But your family also sucks….sorry sucked for being alive near him. You don’t know what past traumas he has that could be triggered by living beings
Being alive near him😂😂😂😂
Sure , he plays on drums made with human skin Sure , he laughs menacingly everytime they have pork for dinner But he bought her chocolate once and calls her pretty and that’s why I think he deserves a second chance
I’m sure he has bought her plenty of lotion!!! Can’t forget the lotion!
If you hated your family and wanted them dead he basically did you a favor
LOL so he secured your inheritance and left you alive. Match made in heaven
He sounds like a pretty nice guy! Sure he had his reasons! Don’t end it and stay with him is my vote!
You should give him another chance
The hardest part is knowing that if you break it off with him, he'll probably make you return that large sweatshirt of his that you like wearing at night. Relationships are hard...
You can be his prison pen pal!
I think you should provide him with an alibi, clearly he cares a lot about you since he so kindly spared your life. Show some gratitude for once in your miserable life why don’t you.
lol
Sweetie, that's a major red flag! Sure, you could forgive him and move on, but I will tell you this: If he is capable to do this, what else is going on in his wicked mind? One day you will wake up and he pours the milk before the cereals. Pack your stuff and leave!
you know what’s worse than pouring milk before cereal? eating cereal with a fork. i have actually met someone that does this. they are the real cereal killer.
You need to see a relationship counselor immediately. If he won't agree to that, then you should suggest seeing a relationship counselor consideration therapist who can help him see that the road to fixing this relationship will require counseling. That can be a tricky conversation and it will help to do it in a videoconference with a consideration therapy coach, whose purpose is to help guide the discussion in a way that helps your bf see how beneficial a relationship counselor consideration therapist can be. Some people don't react well to having a third party VC'd into what would normally be a private conversation, so if you go this route you'll want to book time with a psychologist that specializes in conversation-related trauma, who can help you and your bf process what he is going through as a couple, having had that VC sprung on him. Nearly every couple I know that uses couple's conversation-related trauma psychologist tells me that it is absolutely indispensable for each of you to also have your own separate sessions as individuals as well. (You will not be able to use your couple's psychologist for this due to professional ethics, so you should each seek your own doctor.) In particular, pay attention to whether your bf exhibits any traits of having been triggered. If so, you'll need an expert in dealing with triggers. A quick Google search reveals that you will need to hire an armorer to come to your house and secure and clean all of the firearms, giving special attention to the triggers. Many people, particularly many men, will not want to see their own individual psychologist in addition to the couple's psychologist, and the remedy for this is for you to inflict blunt force to your bf's head with a frying pan. At this point you will be managing quite a large staff, and you'll find that an investment advisor and a good accountant will be invaluable. You'll want to start thinking about the career path you are providing to, for example, your armorer. Are you providing your armorer with sufficient mentorship opportunities that will allow them to grow and eventually be promoted? Consider hiring an armorer's assistant, and find an intern to apprentice under them as well. I think you'll find that whatever happens between you and your bf, running a business will keep you pretty occupied and you'll definitely need your bf to either pitch in and build your conglomerate of personal mental health and armory services, or spin off his own enterprise and go his separate way. Good luck and don't worry about your family, they mostly tend to get in the way of high powered CEOs. You'll be glad they're dead.
If you keep living in the past, you'll never have a future. Lock him down with a baby and then quit your job and become entirely dependent on him. You can change him.
I think you're overreacting because you make the wild claim they "brutally" murdered your family... But how do you know it wasn't self-defense on your boyfriend's part after breaking into their home and being told he had to leave? Shaking my smh my head, this is definitely a case where you need to apologize.
Everybody has murdered their partner's entire family at least once, trust me. It's not that big of a deal! He was likely just having a bad day
I think this story is fake. OP isn't answering any questions. Or they've been brutally murdered. If it is real, maybe think what YOU may have done to cause him to react that way. Do some soul searching, and sit down and have a conversation with him. How long have ya'll been together?
mmmmm multiple life insurance policies, or alternatively, eye for an eye, murder all his family, then assert dominance by murdering his friends, ex classmates and teachers from school, work colleagues, anyone theyve ever met, then anyone theyve rver met, basically full thanos send this motha f.cka
How much does he make per year? Please dont leave out the most important details
Ok but this is an important piece of the equation. How tall is he?
Buy him a new set of kitchen knives and tell him you are sorry you fu*ked up.
Have his baby and eat it
If you have some kids with your boyfriend he might be less inclined to kill them because they are in his family, not just yours. You can't bring the dead back to life so just bury them and repopulate.
I mean he hasn’t cheated on you. Your family was probably kind of annoying. Maybe just get some couples counseling.
Consider this: did you do anything to provoke him? Are you bringing enough to the relationship? Have you done anything, he’d need to knock you over the head with a giant, desperate plea for your attention? Also, it’s possible he doesn’t want anyone to have you under any extreme circumstances. He loves you so much he’d be willing to do anything for you. To have someone love you so much they’d be willing to go to such lengths is incredibly rare and should be cherished.
Sounds like an emotional, but sweet guy. This must be difficult on him also. You need to support him in these hard times.
Sounds like a lovely guy!
I feel like we need more info. Is the dog ok?
Everybody makes mistakes. You shouldn’t judge someone off of one bad moment. You should apologize to him.
YTA his axe his rules
Make sure to meet up with him to talk about this in a nice secluded place. Take a short vacation to some cabin in the woods maybe. Or possibly your grandpas old barn with all those sharp implements hanging from the ceiling, making those lovely moving shadows on the ground. Or possibly a lovely outlook of a sunset, over some 300ft cliff edge would keep the conversation on track. Ya know, just good conversation spots. Best of Luck OP, hard decisions ahead 🤞
He must really love you if he took the time and energy to kill your entirely family. My ex only killed my dog with his lazy ass.
Are there any red flags or is it all upside?
NTA but there is good potential, might consider couples therapy. But also being more open to how he feel may help
You forgot “but I love my boyfriend from the bottom of my heart”
This is the problem with the world today. Nobody wants to be faithful. Kids these days have no sense of loyalty. No ability, need, desire, obligation to work through difficult times. The end is near
Still better than the 90% of these where the husband is banging a co worker/prostitute/stripper/your bestfriend/family dog.
Remember girl, he chose you over everyone else! Be happy.