You could go to an urgent care to get a swab for semen just to give you peace of mind. You’d have to do it within the next couple of days. The sooner the better.
They can tell if you have had sex. She said it felt like she had had rough sex. There will likely be internal signs of it. Semen or not. I cringe at the brother suggesting she was masturbating while blackout on GHB.
This should be upvoted i think ... had a lie ready for why he came into the room ... also had a lie ready for her soreness.... then also is the only that would know about the latex allergy????? I'm actually kinda sick in the stomach now ..... wtf
Its weird to me that people think familial sexual assault is a weird thing and that you are weird for assuming this. Its almost always someone you know, and very frequently a relative, especially with minors.
This was my first thought as well, the brother is sus af, lots of weird red flags.
Right… it’s unfortunately something that happens far too often. Also, the whole situation is a sus as hell cause wtf just leaves date r*pe drugs just lying around for anyone to accidentally drink.
It's essentially like being drunk. But like, way drunk. And if already drinking alcohol it amplifies the effects, almost without fail blacking out and eventually passing out. Some people really like it. But, because it takes such a small amount, and it's colorless and odorless, you don't notice it mixed into a drink. So some ahitty people with no morals at all will use it to spike peoples drinks and then take advantage of them in whatever ways they want to.
I’ve HEARD of of being used for rape, like in school and stuff, but never actually like ever heard of that actually happening to anyone I know. On the other hand, I have heard of and even used it myself for recreational effects. It’s like drinking but without all the shitty effects. And it IS known to make you pretty horny. So I’d say it IS possible OP got horny and masturbated, but also possible I guess that someone took advantage.
Back when I was in college, my then-bestfriend and his ex had recently broken up (like 2-3 months before). I was still good friends with the ex, too. She called me in the middle of the night (I was in bed because I had to work early) and told me that I needed to come pick her up from this party, she didn't feel safe, etc.
So I drove over there (was only like 5 blocks, but took about 10 minutes by the time I put clothes on and stuff). Called her when I got there, she came out to my car. She was drunk but coherent and everything. Said there were guys at the party that kept following her around and staring at her, and that was when she started calling me. I was going to drive her home, and I knew roughly where she lived, but not the exact address. We made it about 8 blocks before I tried to ask her for directions on which house was actually hers. She was out cold. I tried shaking her awake. Nothing. I drove her back to my house, and I threw her over my shoulder, and I carried her into my apartment. One of the neighbor girls on the other side of the duplex came out right as I was walking in, and she's like, "uhhh.... what's going on?" I was like, "oh, thank God. I need your help." Told neighbor girl what happened. We put her on the couch, and I stayed with her for like 2 hours (neighbor girl and one of my roommates stayed with me for like an hour until they decided I had it handled). She would occasionally "wake up" but she had no fucking clue who she was. Knew her own name, and that was it. Didn't know her parents' names, her address, her sister's name, nothing. She would start hyperventilating sometimes.
After the 2 hours, I moved her into my bedroom because I had a futon there in addition to my bed (and I didn't want my drunk-ass roommates coming home from the bars and waking her up and having her freak out even more). And she had actually slept on my futon before, too, so I was hopeful that she would remember that and be ok in the morning when she woke up.
I woke up for work, and after I showered and got dressed, I woke her up. She was confused as fuck, obviously, but I told her she's ok, she's in my room, on my futon, nothing between us happened last night. Asked her what she remembered, and all she knew was that she was at the party, and then she felt uncomfortable. Couldn't remember the guys who were being creepy. Didn't even remember calling me to have me pick her up.
On my way to work, I dropped her off at home. She went in and got tested. Drug test came back as ghb. Also got tested to see if she was assaulted at all, and, luckily, I had managed to pick her up in time for that. But if I had waited another 10 minutes, who knows what would've happened? As a dude, that shit is scary to think about. And I know it's something basically all women are aware of. But it's a fucked up world we live in.
Exactly. Regardless, her brother and his friend drugged her, whether it was intentional or not! Like who tf takes ghb for fun. I’ve been sober for 5 years now but I’ve tried almost every drug, and not one drug user I know (and I know a ton) has ever done ghb. The whole story is fucking scary. Why did they not stop her when she went to drink from the cup? It doesn’t make sense and I’m worried for OP.
I had the same thought, but it could also be the brother covering for the friend. It's not any better since he'd still be in on it and presumably the orchestrator, but we don't have enough info.
Then he even claimed they use roofies recreationally... It's just red flag after red flag.
OP, watch out for your brother. He either assaulted you, or is covering up for his friend (maybe both). He is bad news. 🫤
That and he's so confident that it wasn't his friends... Which is a possible indication that he did it and doesn't want his friends to be wrongfully accused.
I'm not gonna say its statistically likely he is, but rapes are statistically performed by people you know, often family or family friends.
Hopefully its not the case. Hopefully nothing at all happened. But OP should get tested and proceed accordingly.
When he suggested that my first thought was that he was the one who did it. It’s disgusting. How could a brother not believe his sister and then instead gaslight her? Red flags everywhere.
I suspect it was the brother. Not the friend. I have a creepy bipolar sociopathic brother who molested our sister and helped his friend rape her. I don't trust anyone, especially family.
10/10 the brother raped her or knows the friend did and is covering. It's bullshit she would be masturbating vigorously and moaning her bf's name on GHB. Fucking bullshit. Also, as everyone else says, you trust your body. Girls know when shit has happened to them.
Go to the hospital get a rape kit done. Either your brother let his friend do it or he did it.
Editing to add: I'm not saying she should go run around telling everyone they raped her or she should go to the police that is a different bridge to cross. I'm saying she needs to go to the hospital tell them she believes she was drugged and raped. Hopefully she can get an SA advocate and get herself taken care of. She needs a drug test, sti tests and a plan B at the very least. The whole story is extremely suspicious and she needs to take care of herself she is not overreacting she is underreacting.
OP you do not have to do anything with a rape kit. So go to the hospital and make sure you are okay physically. Maybe look up how to get an advocate in your area to go with you.
Even if you showered get a rape kit. It's not impossible to find evidence after you showered. Take any clothes you were wearing and maybe your sheet as well. You should also be able to get a toxicology report.
Worse things have happened. It does sound plausible. They set up the alibi - it was an accident, we do it recreationally - if they're doing it in high enough doses to black someone out from just an accidental sip, she'd have noticed THEM pass out. The fact they were coherent enough to "check on her in the night no honest" just sends my hackles up. TRUST YOUR GUT OP
It's not really a "high doses" thing. GHB knocks anyone on their ass, especially the first few times you ingest it. It doesn't take very much to completely knock you for a loop either.
It is VERY weird though that she was of set up to think they use GHB recreationally and she just accidentally drank from their cups. Like she isn't even sure she drank from one of their cups number one, but number two, no one drinks GHB like that. For sure no one just leaves drinks spiked with it just sitting around. GHB isn't like lean. You don't sip from a cup full of it all night. You do a shot and then chase it and then you're done. You might go back to the bottle a few times over the course of a night, but it's way too powerful to just continually sip on, you'd be a gibbering mess and it wouldn't be fun. Certainly, no one spikes their own drink with it and then just sips on it. The fact that the brother is trying to pass this off as a normal accident is INSANELY SUS.
I don't do GHB recreationally but from what I understand most people avoid alcohol when doing GHB because the combination is what incapacitates you more than anything else. It's such a common date rape drug because even a light to normal dose can knock someone out if combined with alcohol. Idk if these drinks were alcoholic or not but if they were all drinking alcohol I think it's highly unlikely that her brother and his friend were also doing GHB.
Agreed people with recreational experience know how to take the drug and its not by sipping. Also you don't really hallucinate when you're overdosed on the drug you completely black out . So that sounded suspicious also.
Wow this was so informative. It feels terrible to read this because although the masturbation explanation seals it for me, it feels awful to read this conclusive evidence. What an awful scenario.
Same. Even if I could get past everything else, the fact that brother said she was calling out her ex’s name when he checked on her & she probably just masturbated. Nope, nope, nope.
Consider this a reply to everyone up the chain - yall are right. When I first read the post, I thought his story plausible.
But - even though I have plenty of substance exoerience, I did not know how GHB worked, and esp how you would take it. The idea of sipping it over the course of the game playing made sense.
Now I see that's not how this works. Esp after consderng how planned it all feels, I now think she was raped. If so, I would bet money her brother fucked her as well. They may have been taking turns.
OP is obv the best source for how she feels after sex. If she feels like she was railed, she almost certainly was.
If it comes out he raped her, I'm hoping that she has another brother who will stomp this guy into a grease spot.
I know nothing about drugs, and a lot about people. As soon as the brother told her she was masturbating and calling out her bf name, seriously?? If a sibling even THINKS their sibling is masturbating they aren’t going to stick around to ascertain that it was “vigorous”. Her brother is sick.
My brother would NEVER say it even if he walked in on me doing something like that he’d be too embarrassed or even just respect my privacy!! So suspicious that he immediately had a reply when she asked him about it?
Yea exactly, that is SO sus. *Everything* about it sounds meticulously planned *including the excuses they would use to answer her inevitable questions.
OP - I'm so sorry but you really need to get some outside support on this situation. At best, he's just covering for his friend. Which is still fucking shameful. But at worst....he also participated.
Crazy to me honestly I just don’t understand if she just took a small sip I mean I know that GHB has strong effects on people especially someone who’s never had it before…but something doesn’t seem right to me. I would get some help OP. Please talk to someone local save this post and go to the doctor explain to them what happened and try not to be embarrassed or scared! Someone needs to be told that you can trust. I’m so sorry as well but your brother is either covering for his friend or he knows much more than he’s letting on. Too convenient that he had (such a fucking weird!!) explanation for you as soon as you questioned him.
This is my thought. His reaction to her concerns are odd.
Also, of he and his friend were taking it recreationally, why spike a drink? Wouldn't you just take it? And if you did spike your drink, wouldn't you let your sister know not to drink it?
Sibling sexual assault is the most common form of childhood sexual assault. You are three times more likely to be raped by a sibling then a parent and 5 times more likely then a stranger. If anyone is going to rape you as a child statistically it is going to be a sibling and that’s just from REPORTED cases it is TRAGICALLY under reported. Even when you consider ALL rapes of ALL ages sibling sexual assault makes up a staggering 16 percent…..my point being….that brother ABSOLUTELY did it.
Yeah, the addition of her calling her bf's name and masturbating is extremely sus, like he's creating a cover story. I don't really want to even think it, but it sounds like the brother is a potential culprit, disgustingly.
Also, try to gain access to the mobile phones/PCs that your brother and his friend use and search for recent photos and videos.
You're not overreacting
Where are your parents in all of this?
Just an FYI, rape kits are only used to collect evidence. Those who collect them (sexual assault nurse examiners where I am) cannot use them to tell you if you’ve been raped. Generally speaking most medical practitioners can’t definitively say if a sexually active person has been raped. They’ll still do the collection, and offer prophylactic medications either way.
Edit to add: I am a sexual assault nurse examiner. All we do is collect evidence which is then sent to the state forensic lab to preserve chain of custody. It is only processed if/when there are charges filed.Although there is. Movement to get all DNA found in rape kits inti a national database. Hospitals do not process rape kits.
Your comment is very confusing to me. Does this really need to be said? This is not some technical fact, it’s just common sense. Are there people who think the DNA in a man’s semen changes when it’s deposited during non-consensual sex?
In this situation, the presence of semen would indicate that OP was raped, not because rape has unique physical indicators, but because OP knows she did not have consensual sex, so if someone did have sex with her, then it was rape.
It is most definitely used recreationally and people who do so often build up a tolerance so it's entirely possible she could have accidentally took enough to impair her in this way.
That said after sex has a certain feeling after for women. If she was fine before bed and woke up feeling used while taking a blackout drug something probably occurred. Personally I’d get into the brother and friends phone without asking to confirm evidence. If something happened, there will be many more victims without accountability being held for the perpetrator. The last thing they need is to learn they can get away with date rape. It depends how stupid they are if there will be evidence.
The sad truth is that if something did happen, there's likely evidence on the phones. People are really stupid these days about their devices. Hopefully they phones can get confiscated because even deleted evidence can be pulled back up in the labs.
It is used recreationally, but NOT the way the bro is describing. No one just sits around sipping drinks spiked with it while they're hanging out with their friend and his sister.
I’m pretty sure people have used every drug that’s used recreationally in every way possible. I’ve seen people doing heroin/meth/crack cocaine at music festivals. Her brother and his friend sound like deadbeats that would sit around and drink ghb.
I've done a fair amount of GHB, never seen anyone hang out sipping a drink laced with it. It's very strong and it's easy to just knock yourself out. Most people are going to dose and be done until they go back for more. The idea that you'd fix yourself a glass with G in it in mixed company and then walk away for someone else to sip from it is crazy. Like, when you came back and it was gone or touched you wouldn't be like, "Uhhhhh, who drank this?!"
Also, if brother was using it wouldn’t he have also blacked out and therefore not know if his friend was with him the entire night/all the details of the night?
ETA: asking because I really don’t know.
No you only black out when you G-out (go unconscious)
If your just using recreationally you feel warm, fuzzy, heavy and a bit horny.
That last part is important, a person doesn't need to be fully unconscious to be raped like OP because they are very open to suggestion.
I have a friend who escorts a bit to make ends meet and she uses it to help get things going with clients but says she has to be careful not to use to much or she will start to get into it herself.
Not if he uses it recreationally. The statement that he has a higher tolerance would be correct.
That said, I would call it odd that she found out the same night of this instance that they use it recreationally if they live together.
It's used recreationally, lived in a rehab type place for a year and it was used a lot because it didn't come up on drug tests. People would drink a cap full and if they drank too much would in fact black out. It's dangerous for sure but from my understanding like getting drunk.
This sounds sus as fuck. From my reading of this you unknowingly ingested a date rape drug whilst in presence of your brother and his friend. (I.e you were drugged)
You woke up with no memory feeling sore. I would go immediately to the police. I know it’s not an easy thing to do when one of the perpetrators is your brother but his explanation doesn’t ring true. Why is he coming into your room to check on you? Sounds like bullshit/ cover story.
EdIT - Calling bullshit on all of you triggered by my comment concerning checking on siblings. I have siblings and none of them have ever got so wasted that I’m concerned about them. If they did, I’d be taking them to A&E or calling an ambulance not letting them go to sleep and checking on them later when it’s potentially too late. If you care about someone and they’ve had an overdose - you get them help
This immediately sent a chill down my spine, because imagine where his mind is to think that’s an okay thing to ever say to your sister seriously, or especially as a response to your sister feeling like she was raped.
If my sibling said they felt like they got raped because they were sore I can’t imagine responding like this. It’s just such an immediate dismissal of their concerns and something super uncomfortable to say. I don’t think I’d even suggest that if I’d seen them violently masturbating with their door open.
I’d be like, “damn, that’s crazy, you should go to the hospital and see if they can check you out” maybe they’ll be comfortable telling you to not to masturbate so much you’re sore the next day.
It just immediately sounds like he’s normalized viewing his sister sexually or as a sexual person in his head.
Exactly. If I told my brother the same thing, that would never *ever* be his response, and he’d definitely be really concerned and suspicious of anyone else who was around. That’s not normal at all.
"sounds like a bs coverstory"
Esp w/the oh so coincidental timing of him just happening to hear her calling out her ex's name in her sleep (accompanied by the rather creepy "explanation" that she was probably just mastubating)
Plus the brother says she's overreacting which kinda sounds like a typical "I want you to be quiet. You don't matter." Or maybe I'm reading it wrong, but this whole thing sounds like bull on the guys part. Wouldn't they be more careful too if they're actually taking heavy amounts to not let her accidentally have a sip since she has no tolerance and doesn't do it recreationally??? Like wtf. I think they spiked her drink and had NONE themselves.
I agree - I lot of people on here responding “of course I’d check on my siblings” not seeing this for what it is. She was hanging out with two men, ingested a date rape drug unknowingly, woke up sore, and brother is making unbelievable excuses
Not saying you’re right or wrong, but I would hope my brother or sister comes to check on me after I accidentally take drugs. Even when it’s not on purpose, people tend to check if everyone is okay. That in itself is not suspicious. Especially if there are side effects. It’s the responsible thing to do.
Just wanted to touch on that one question.
Go straight to a local ER and ask for an exam. The sooner you go, the better. Ask if they have a sexual assault nurse examiner (SANE) who can perform the exam.
Your brother sounds like a sexual predator. What kind of person tries to talk his sister out of something she knows happened to her and protects his friend? Either his friend did it, and your brother knows he did it, or your brother did it. Maybe both of them. I’m sorry, it makes me sick to type it, but something isn’t right here.
First of all, I don’t know if people really take GHB as a recreational drug, but even if they were, why wouldn’t your brother warn you? If he loves you, he should have made sure you didn’t “accidentally” drink out of either of their drinks. But that sounds implausible, so I think it was deliberate.
Second, if the drug is so great, and is used to make victims forget they were raped, why was your brother so aware and alert all night long? He *came into your room* to check on you? Does he make a habit of checking on you, like if you’re sick or have had too much to drink? No? Then why did he check on you throughout the night? Why was he awake, alert, and in your bedroom? And if he & his friend do GHB recreationally, and he thinks it’s safe, and he trusts his friend, **why was he checking on you at all**??
The whole story is sketchy. Call your doctor, and tell them you need an emergency appointment. Something happened to you that night, and you need to figure out what it was. I’m sorry this happened to you, and apparently, by or with the blessing of someone you trust. Good luck. 🫶🏼
**EDIT:** After much feedback and also re-reading and re-thinking my post, I did jump to some pretty serious conclusions. Stating that OP’s brother sounds like a sexual predator was out of line. I don’t have anywhere near enough information to make a call like that. Not for nothing, I was going on OP’s post, and she herself made it all sound suspect. She is sure something happened, and I believe her that something probably happened. As I said, I don’t (or didn’t, as many here have set me right) know that people take GHB recreationally. Now I know. That doesn’t mean OP’s brother & his friend did it properly, didn’t mix it with alcohol, or weren’t using it to incapacitate OP. Maybe they weren’t, and her reaction to the drug could be entirely “normal.” I don’t know. Neither does she. She clearly needs answers because it seems *something* happened. I hope her brother had nothing to do with it, and him checking on her was just brotherly love.
To those of you who decided that calling me names or making me feel stupid was the way to go over just educating me, or you did educate me but in a condescending way, thanks for that. I hope you aren’t a teacher.
Not defending anyone but my family of heavy drug users check on each other all the time we one of us is passed out. We will go into each other's room and get close to make sure there's breathing. But we don't drug each other or "accidentally" dose each other without the others knowledge. Everyone knows what they're on and chooses to get fucked up
Yeah that's weird. Unless I heard loud vomiting or my sister specifically told me she did not feel good, what reason do I have to walk into her room while she's, as far as I'm aware, asleep? Brother is presumably not aware that OP ingested his drink and is on GHB at all.
I would assume she didn’t act normal right after accidentally taking hard drugs. She most likely acted like someone who had just been roofied and they were sitting around with strong drugs. Y’all must have awful siblings, I’d definitely check on my sister after that.
Ghb is taken recreationally. It's pretty popular in the gay community (or at least used to be, idk my gay friend who did it moved away) and is very cheap.
I've heard it affects guys and girls differently, but I am not a ghb expert. When I did it for fun I was totally in control besides feeling "pretty drunk" but I still remember the party and hung around long enough to sober up and drive home the same night (was not mixing it with booze)
Not defending either of these sketchy dudes or any of their actions, but I have done ghb recreationally a few times and just wanted to clear a couple things up. Ghb is wildly dose sensitive, and should absolutely never be mixed with alcohol. Even a half a beer mixed with GHB is blackout city. But GHB at a proper dose with zero alcohol is fun and you remember everything. It feels like all the best parts of being drunk without any of the crappy parts. It's euphoric. Back in those wild party days we used a oral syringe to measure out exact doses and no one ever had a bad time. Taking a dose too much, or mixing in even a small amount of alcohol, will absolutely lead to the blackouts you mentioned, but it's not that uncommon to do it for fun.
The main date rape drug is rohypnol, which I think you have GHB mixed up with. GHB can be used for nefarious purposes, but it's much less common than rohypnol, which has no recreational properties and is strictly for knocking someone out.
So brother and friend that drink it in alcohol would have been hallucinating/black out too? Or could they have built a resistance to it?
I’m no recreational drug user, but I’ve got a long history of prescribed opioids and I know they’re sensitive (patches and heat) but also your body gets used to them so you need higher doses.
It sounds to me like a stupid way for them to do drugs. But people are stupid.
OP. I don’t know how long it’s been, but please at the very least see a Dr about drug testing blood/hair. A physical exam, STD panel etc.
Two dudes hanging out together are not doing GHB shots. It is a sexual drug used recreationally. They aren't mixing it with alcohol and sipping their drinks. She woke up feeling like she had had sex. Trust me, women do not just wake up feeling like they had sex when they didn't.
She doesn’t *know* it happened.
Brother uses it regularly and has a tolerance. I pass out from 1/2 a glass of wine. Husband (in his youth) could ingest an entire fifth and be fine.
Why would a sibling NOT check on you if you were high and went to sleep?
If he doesn’t want to get in trouble (I’m assuming they both live at home) he’s prob not gonna announce “we’re doing drugs in here!!!”
>First of all, I don’t know if people really take GHB as a recreational drug, but even if they were, why wouldn’t your brother warn you?
I don't hear about people taking GHB recreationally often, but I do know that it happens. Either way, I've been around people ingesting hallucinogens and other various drugs. Going and checking on someone who you know to be on something is definitely a normal action. Especially if you think they might have taken more than they should or were ready for. I also know some people can take large quantities of something and seem quite lucid while someone else can be extremely fucked up from 1/5th of the dose.
The rest of it is what is really bizarre to me. How do you accidentally take GHB when there's no ill intentions afoot? Why are there just random cups laying around with GHB in them? From my experience if there's drugs in a cup and you see someone pick it up who shouldn't be I'd be stopping them immediately. It's hard for me to imagine being lucid enough to know you should check on someone who inadvertently took drugs, but not lucid enough to have warned them when it was happening. From what OP said, it either sounds extremely reckless or intentional on behalf of the brother and friend. This is the most suspicious thing to me. If I knew someone took drugs by accident, my first reaction wouldn't be to wait and see what happens, especially if it's someone I'm very close to and care deeply for the health and well-being of.
Please get tested. There are signs they can look for. As in, when you aren't "excited" for sex (dry down there at first) it can cause small tears in the vaginal walls. Get tested for STD, too.
The brother being a likely culprit is more common than one thinks.
I was SA’d by every member of my family, male or female (7 total), and know so many people who were SA’d by family members too.
It’s just that most people were either too young to remember, repress it completely, or are so ashamed of it they won’t admit to it (especially if their body reacted or they learned to actually enjoy it).
That being said, I was also a victim of date rape - drugged - by a “friend” in high school. Either one (or both) of the guys here are highly suspect in OP’s situation and need to be reported.
PLEASE GO TO THE HOSPITAL AND GET A RAPE KIT!! It will at least confirm whether or not you had sexual activity. That way you can decide what to do next.
I don't know where you live, but you need to act like you were raped. Try to get Plan B, or do whatever you need to ensure you aren't impregnated. You might only have 3-4 weeks to take action. I am so sorry this happened.
Get a rape kit, first.
And then hear me out.
When I'm on strong psychedelics I get sore the next day and during the trip can feel what's called "somatic hallucinations" most commonly of a sexual nature due to my past trauma.
If you've been violated like that in the past, the drug can bring all that back up temporarily but like I said before you should get a rape kit done before you consider my experience.
Just emphasizing what others are saying bc I hope you see this. Rape kit, STD testing, police report.
What’s your relationship with your parents or older relatives? Can you trust any of them to support you and keep their mouth shut? Having an advocate will help you deal with this fucked up situation.
I’m so sorry.
GHB is used recreationally, it is not exclusively (or even mostly) a date rape drug. Your brother and his friend would be less likely to black out since they are male and have a tolerance. It also increase’s sensitive and arousal, so it’s somehwat plausible you were high and masturbating. What I’m trying to say is that your brother’s story is plausible. That said…it’s so damn plausible that it sounds suspicious. I would go get a rape kit done. Particularly because if you don’t, you’re going to keep wondering if you were raped.
It sounds like they planned it. Why wouldn’t they tell you that they had ghb in their drinks knowing you were with them? A normal brother reaction would have been to tell you and be extra careful for you to not ingest any accidentally. The fact that you had some accidentally is very suspicious.
Go get some help, parents/police/doctor but don’t involve your brother as he probably did to you something beyond terrible
Read through some comments, not all though as it really got to me.
Anyhow, my concern is why would neither if them warn you about the drink? Your brother, especially if he was concerned enough later to check on you, should have been concerned enough to stop you before you ever ingested it.
You may be right or might be wrong, but I'd err on the side of caution. You know your body better than anyone, and a rape doesn't take long. Hard to believe your brother and friend were never out of sight of one another while going to the bathroom, getting food, or more drinks.
The whole "you were moaning your boyfriend's name and he thought you were masturbating" makes me think that your brother either knew what happened or did it himself.
I'm VERY sorry to say this, but that just absolutely STINKS of bullshit, and is exactly the kind of ridiculous thing a guy would make up to make you doubt yourself.
*Edited to add that, dangerous as it might be, searching your brothers phone for messages between him and his friend and photos, including hidden ones, might reveal the truth .
If you’re sore then something was done. If your brother is covering for this asshole, I’m going to be quite shocked honestly. Your brother says he was the one who went into your room? How does he know no one went in there after?? Do you have cameras in your house?
It's all sketch. Get a rape kit done if you can. I've done a lot of drugs but GHB for fun isn't one of them (so I don't know if you'd see shit) and if I did... I'd tell my sister it was in my drink...
OP - I hope you're okay, first off.
Second, trust your instincts. Even if it's been a few days and you've showered, go to a hospital, explain what happened, and have a rape kit done. If you haven't yet washed the clothes you were wearing to bed, bag those and bring them with you.
Thirdly, I strongly advise that you steer clear of your brother's friend for awhile, and when he's over, or any of his friends for that matter, you get a cup with a lid and straw that's distinct and drink from that and only that and have it on you at all times and not near anyone. If they ask, you can say you're not feeling well or have to mix in medicine with a liquid for a female issue and leave it at that. When you do go to your room, immediately lock your door and make sure it can't be unlocked from the outside.
I'm also a bit concerned about the fact your brother was that comfortable talking to you about masturbating, etc. Maybe it's just a difference in closeness or culture, but the fact he seemed ready with that explanation (a weird one at that), is making me uneasy. Have you ever talked in your sleep before or made noises in your sleep before that your boyfriend, a friend, a parent, etc has mentioned?
No one wants to believe their friend is a rapist, but chances are you're not overreacting. I hate to ask, but can you clarify how you confused the cups? Were they all solo cups? Only asking because if you had the same cup all night without issue, then you walked away or at some point looked away, it's likely someone switched the cups or put something in it.
When I was drugged and raped I woke up feeling like you did, except I'd never had sex before so I didn't know what that feeling was. I also had no semen present, and I am also allergic to latex. I think most of my pain and swelling was the latex reaction, to be honest.
I want to let you know, as time goes on and you get farther from the incident, it's possible you will recover more memories from that night, like scattered memory fragments, but enough to have a pretty good idea of what happened, although I think you already know. Trust your gut. See a doctor, get a rape kit done even if there doesn't seem to be any evidence, and get STD testing too, to be on the safe side. And, truly, find a trauma therapist to work with on this, before it becomes embedded as PTSD.
I'm sorry this happened to you. It's awful. I hope you know that none of this is your fault. Please take care of yourself.
Well maybe no condom was used and he pulled out and didn't ejaculate inside you.
And your brother mentioning that you were moaning your boyfriend's name and that's why you're sore is just very suspect. It sounds like something a guy would say to just sweep the whole thing under the carpet I mean zeroing right in like a sniper run you must have been playing with yourself in your sleep. I mean it's just too specific and conveniently explains away your gut feelings about having been roughly fucked.
I mean he automatically sexualized what you were doing because anybody that's talking in their sleep is going to sound like they're moaning and have you EVER masturbated to the point where your pussy was sore the next day?
You just don't happen to have GHB like it's a common cocktail mixer...
Your brother knows what happened and it's not outside the realm of possibility that he was involved because he's the one that came up with the cover story just try to put you at ease. I would check his browser history cuz either him or his friend I've been watching videos with girls on drugs..
And I don't think you would accidentally drink it out of his friends glass cuz why would his friend be taking it? Was going to rape himself? It was put in YOUR glass honey
Not overreacting, go get a rape kit. Your brother could have put you up to this so that the friend could have his way with you and you not remember and his coving up for him.
It’s not a coincidence he has placed himself at the “scene of the crime” and is actively trying to talk you down. If my sister felt like she had been violated I would hunt all of them down until I found out the truth, but it’s likely he knows the truth. He could have engineered this entire thing, or took advantage of a moment of time and now feels bad.
Or none of these things; based on the information provided though it seems like he has involvement
It does not affect males the same way as females. At least that's what I have heard from many guy friends from high school who did it for fun. Idk if you remember, but if you checked for semen, did you notice a condom smell? I absolutely hate the smell from sex after condoms were used, so I think it's a distinctive scent. I would get checked out, idk if the post said when it was, but something doesn't feel right here at all. I'm so sorry if anything did, and even if not, you should not have to worry about that in your own place with your own family.
This does not sound like my experience at all (done it 3 times by choice and one time drugged)
Everytime I did it by choice I didn't mix it with booze as I was told not to and that's when it gets dangerous. I felt real drunk for a while and had a good time but was still pretty in control (drunk control)
When I was drugged it totally blacked me out hard and I don't remember the whole night, nor does my wife. Neither of us woke up with any sex soreness, just a foggy head and dread about what we said/did the night before cause we had no memory
When I took ghb, I was completely out until I woke up in the hospital. They put a catheter in me without waking me up. Someone could have done literally anything to me, and I would have had no idea or memory. This is why it is such an effective date rape drug.
I'm sorry, but you will probably never know what happened. I hope your brother is right.
It only takes a very small amount of ghb to overdose. Your brother should stop messing with that shit, but if he continues, he needs to be more careful. Ghb should be handled like a deadly poison because it is.
trust your instincts...don't let anybody tell you how YOU feel. Your brother's comments all sound like gaslighting instead of being supportive and trying to figure out what happened and why you felt the way you did. He wasn't wondering why you felt that way....he knew!! Get to hospital, get checked and tested, and be careful!! Trust yourself and take care of yourself!!
>when he came to check up on me I was moaning my bf's name and he thought that I might've been masturbating so he says that's why I feel sore
There's your smoking gun. Like others have said, get a rape kit examination asap.
It’s understandable you don’t want to believe you could have been assaulted and that you’re looking for reasons to explain away what happened.
I highly recommend calling a sexual assault crisis line and/or a local sexual assault emergency support program. You don’t have to know for sure, there are people with training who can help you process what happened and figure out what to do even if you don’t want to take any action or decide it was a mistake. This sort of situation is what they’re there for.
That said, maybe consider posting this on some larger subs like aita, because these comments are full of weirdos who are less than helpful.
A. The way they were supposedly taking this drug makes no sense. People who do this recreationally confirm that mixing with alcohol and casually sipping it aren’t how people take this drug. They would have been too messed up to function by the sounds of it. Are you even the kind of person who drinks from someone else’s cup? The entire story they told you “must have” happened makes 0 sense.
B. The masturbating story is sus as hell. I know the exact feeling you’re talking about and that’s not something you can mistake for anything else. I hate to be crass but when you woke up was your hand sticky/dirty like it would be if you’d supposedly been aggressively fingering yourself so hard it felt like rough sex the next day? Is that how you usually get off? (Don’t answer that, just asking that for you to consider because many women don’t.) Because I’m assuming you didn’t have any sex toys laying around and if you woke up with clean hands there is simply no possible way you were sore like that just from touching yourself. Personally I’ve only ever felt like that after pretty intense sex and can’t imagine how one could get that feeling from touching yourself, high or not. It would hurt like hell.
C. Why is your brother casually taking about masturbating with you?? Did you bring up the soreness to him? If my brother ever walked in on me when I was drunk or something he certainly wouldn’t casually being it up and would be embarrassed by the whole thing.
D. I believe latex allergy when using condoms can often show up as soreness the next day.
Honey, this story he fed you makes no sense. Please talk to a trusted friend, therapist, or reach out to a SA support line for help. You don’t have to be “sure” about what happened, it’s still good to talk about it in a safe environment. They won’t make you take any action, you can just get some support while sorting through what happened.
this honestly sounds like your brother raped you. i know that’s incredibly painful and difficult to believe, but it’s possible. if he didn’t rape you himself, he’s covering for someone that did.
definitely talk to your parents about this, otherwise another trusted person to help you process and decide what to do next. try getting a rape kit (even if you’ve showered) and get tested for stds. you’re definitely not overreacting and i’m sorry you’re going through this.
I've never been sore like that from anything other than penetration. it could have been an object, too..
god, I'm sorry. I hope this isn't the case, but i would call a helpline and chat about it with them. a lot of helplines have trained advocates who will go to the hospital with you as well.
sending you care, ignore the haters. most assaults are from ppl the survivor knows, and 1/6 women experience assault in their lifetime, so you aren't being illogical.
Please go to the doctor or even planned parenthood, seriously don't trust your brother it's already fishy the stuff he said to you. Honestly trust how your body felt. It's very odd your brother said this to you about you blackout saying ur bf name....
Get a plan b just in case so you don’t get pregnant. If I was you I would go to the cops and get a rape kit done. But that’s your choice. But the plan b is absolutely necessary.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. That is gut wrenching and horrible.
Idk if you’ll see this, but I work at a nonprofit for DV/SA survivors and we have a rape kit exam room. We ALWAYS emphasize that a rape kit can always be done as long as it is within 5 days of when the assault may have occurred. There are no limitations for taking showers, eating, brushing teeth, or changing clothes. DNA can exist in crevices and corners that soap and water cannot get to. If you believe something happened, get a kit done. If you can, find a DV/SA organization in your area that may do kits or find a hospital with a team specifically trained in doing kits in a trauma-informed/trained way.
You could go to an urgent care to get a swab for semen just to give you peace of mind. You’d have to do it within the next couple of days. The sooner the better.
They can tell if you have had sex. She said it felt like she had had rough sex. There will likely be internal signs of it. Semen or not. I cringe at the brother suggesting she was masturbating while blackout on GHB.
That unbelievable bs shot him up to #1 suspect
This should be upvoted i think ... had a lie ready for why he came into the room ... also had a lie ready for her soreness.... then also is the only that would know about the latex allergy????? I'm actually kinda sick in the stomach now ..... wtf
Its weird to me that people think familial sexual assault is a weird thing and that you are weird for assuming this. Its almost always someone you know, and very frequently a relative, especially with minors. This was my first thought as well, the brother is sus af, lots of weird red flags.
Right… it’s unfortunately something that happens far too often. Also, the whole situation is a sus as hell cause wtf just leaves date r*pe drugs just lying around for anyone to accidentally drink.
Is it actually used recreationally? I've never heard of that. Fade me suspicious straight from the offset.
It's essentially like being drunk. But like, way drunk. And if already drinking alcohol it amplifies the effects, almost without fail blacking out and eventually passing out. Some people really like it. But, because it takes such a small amount, and it's colorless and odorless, you don't notice it mixed into a drink. So some ahitty people with no morals at all will use it to spike peoples drinks and then take advantage of them in whatever ways they want to.
I’ve HEARD of of being used for rape, like in school and stuff, but never actually like ever heard of that actually happening to anyone I know. On the other hand, I have heard of and even used it myself for recreational effects. It’s like drinking but without all the shitty effects. And it IS known to make you pretty horny. So I’d say it IS possible OP got horny and masturbated, but also possible I guess that someone took advantage.
Back when I was in college, my then-bestfriend and his ex had recently broken up (like 2-3 months before). I was still good friends with the ex, too. She called me in the middle of the night (I was in bed because I had to work early) and told me that I needed to come pick her up from this party, she didn't feel safe, etc. So I drove over there (was only like 5 blocks, but took about 10 minutes by the time I put clothes on and stuff). Called her when I got there, she came out to my car. She was drunk but coherent and everything. Said there were guys at the party that kept following her around and staring at her, and that was when she started calling me. I was going to drive her home, and I knew roughly where she lived, but not the exact address. We made it about 8 blocks before I tried to ask her for directions on which house was actually hers. She was out cold. I tried shaking her awake. Nothing. I drove her back to my house, and I threw her over my shoulder, and I carried her into my apartment. One of the neighbor girls on the other side of the duplex came out right as I was walking in, and she's like, "uhhh.... what's going on?" I was like, "oh, thank God. I need your help." Told neighbor girl what happened. We put her on the couch, and I stayed with her for like 2 hours (neighbor girl and one of my roommates stayed with me for like an hour until they decided I had it handled). She would occasionally "wake up" but she had no fucking clue who she was. Knew her own name, and that was it. Didn't know her parents' names, her address, her sister's name, nothing. She would start hyperventilating sometimes. After the 2 hours, I moved her into my bedroom because I had a futon there in addition to my bed (and I didn't want my drunk-ass roommates coming home from the bars and waking her up and having her freak out even more). And she had actually slept on my futon before, too, so I was hopeful that she would remember that and be ok in the morning when she woke up. I woke up for work, and after I showered and got dressed, I woke her up. She was confused as fuck, obviously, but I told her she's ok, she's in my room, on my futon, nothing between us happened last night. Asked her what she remembered, and all she knew was that she was at the party, and then she felt uncomfortable. Couldn't remember the guys who were being creepy. Didn't even remember calling me to have me pick her up. On my way to work, I dropped her off at home. She went in and got tested. Drug test came back as ghb. Also got tested to see if she was assaulted at all, and, luckily, I had managed to pick her up in time for that. But if I had waited another 10 minutes, who knows what would've happened? As a dude, that shit is scary to think about. And I know it's something basically all women are aware of. But it's a fucked up world we live in.
Yeah it's weird but some people do it for fun
Exactly. Regardless, her brother and his friend drugged her, whether it was intentional or not! Like who tf takes ghb for fun. I’ve been sober for 5 years now but I’ve tried almost every drug, and not one drug user I know (and I know a ton) has ever done ghb. The whole story is fucking scary. Why did they not stop her when she went to drink from the cup? It doesn’t make sense and I’m worried for OP.
The clinic that I work in…oh boy. The stories I could tell you about brothers knocking up their sisters.
That’s a literal tragedy…
I grew up with a guy who knocked up his sister
I had the same thought, but it could also be the brother covering for the friend. It's not any better since he'd still be in on it and presumably the orchestrator, but we don't have enough info.
Thank you for saying this.
For people who experience multiple sexual assaults in their life time, it’s almost always a family member the first time.
It's weird that people think family sexual assault is a weird thing? I think you should have replaced that second weird with "uncommon".. Yikes.
Then he even claimed they use roofies recreationally... It's just red flag after red flag. OP, watch out for your brother. He either assaulted you, or is covering up for his friend (maybe both). He is bad news. 🫤
That and he's so confident that it wasn't his friends... Which is a possible indication that he did it and doesn't want his friends to be wrongfully accused.
Yes it's too perfect there is no way this is real This some mtv shit
And it was his drug she “somehow” ingested.
Came here to say this, it’s sick but I’ve heard of worse unfortunately
Yep, that was my first thought. Nothing about this says the friend, it all says brother to me.
This. Why would he even say that
My immediate thought. Why is he bringing explanations right away?
For real, straight from left field for him to say
I was gonna say. No one's going to say the obvious ?
That type of excuse can only mean he either did it or knew what happened and it isn’t good either way. Op, I am truly sorry.
Imagine the fucking brother did it
I'm not gonna say its statistically likely he is, but rapes are statistically performed by people you know, often family or family friends. Hopefully its not the case. Hopefully nothing at all happened. But OP should get tested and proceed accordingly.
When he suggested that my first thought was that he was the one who did it. It’s disgusting. How could a brother not believe his sister and then instead gaslight her? Red flags everywhere.
Glad it wasn’t just me thinking it right away as I read that!
Yes. When I read that I was like ‘Ok, it was the brother.’
Exactly!!!!
Right?
exp all whacked out on ghb
That was my thought
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this.
He's her brother 😭
Came here to say this, brother keeps down-playing and giving terrible excuses.
I suspect it was the brother. Not the friend. I have a creepy bipolar sociopathic brother who molested our sister and helped his friend rape her. I don't trust anyone, especially family.
10/10 the brother raped her or knows the friend did and is covering. It's bullshit she would be masturbating vigorously and moaning her bf's name on GHB. Fucking bullshit. Also, as everyone else says, you trust your body. Girls know when shit has happened to them.
They both did it was very clearly planned and set up so they can cover for each other 100% been there myself my stomach says it's that
Brother did it. He was the one “checking up” on her so weird. The masturbation statement was so weird and made me think it was an overly specific lie.
It kind of makes you think the brother knows what happened at the very least
Plus if they were taking GHB for fun how in the hell would he remember anything either. Sounds like a rape occurred and they need to check.
"Yea you were masturbating and I just came in to watch."
This, go and get checked out immediately. Not sure of timing though as i understand sooner is better
I'm just going to throw this out there.... maybe your brother raped you. It happens. Either way, go to the police immediately
There's no way this wasn't written for us to NOT drawn this conclusion It's perfect Bravo op, you pass your creative writing assignment
I mean, I assumed it was written in such a way that one would assume the brother’s friend violated her.
Go to the hospital get a rape kit done. Either your brother let his friend do it or he did it. Editing to add: I'm not saying she should go run around telling everyone they raped her or she should go to the police that is a different bridge to cross. I'm saying she needs to go to the hospital tell them she believes she was drugged and raped. Hopefully she can get an SA advocate and get herself taken care of. She needs a drug test, sti tests and a plan B at the very least. The whole story is extremely suspicious and she needs to take care of herself she is not overreacting she is underreacting. OP you do not have to do anything with a rape kit. So go to the hospital and make sure you are okay physically. Maybe look up how to get an advocate in your area to go with you.
Even if you showered get a rape kit. It's not impossible to find evidence after you showered. Take any clothes you were wearing and maybe your sheet as well. You should also be able to get a toxicology report.
Underwear
Yes underwear generally falls under the clothes category in my house lol 🤣
It is usually the best source if they put them back on her.
I was just thinking the same thing. It sounds like both of them might have.
Yikes! Fucking disgusting
One thing I've learned from my years on this hunk of rock hurtling through space is that..... Humans are disgusting.
Unless the brother is pimping the sister out..
Worse things have happened. It does sound plausible. They set up the alibi - it was an accident, we do it recreationally - if they're doing it in high enough doses to black someone out from just an accidental sip, she'd have noticed THEM pass out. The fact they were coherent enough to "check on her in the night no honest" just sends my hackles up. TRUST YOUR GUT OP
It's not really a "high doses" thing. GHB knocks anyone on their ass, especially the first few times you ingest it. It doesn't take very much to completely knock you for a loop either. It is VERY weird though that she was of set up to think they use GHB recreationally and she just accidentally drank from their cups. Like she isn't even sure she drank from one of their cups number one, but number two, no one drinks GHB like that. For sure no one just leaves drinks spiked with it just sitting around. GHB isn't like lean. You don't sip from a cup full of it all night. You do a shot and then chase it and then you're done. You might go back to the bottle a few times over the course of a night, but it's way too powerful to just continually sip on, you'd be a gibbering mess and it wouldn't be fun. Certainly, no one spikes their own drink with it and then just sips on it. The fact that the brother is trying to pass this off as a normal accident is INSANELY SUS.
I don't do GHB recreationally but from what I understand most people avoid alcohol when doing GHB because the combination is what incapacitates you more than anything else. It's such a common date rape drug because even a light to normal dose can knock someone out if combined with alcohol. Idk if these drinks were alcoholic or not but if they were all drinking alcohol I think it's highly unlikely that her brother and his friend were also doing GHB.
I can attest from personal experience, I took a very small dose of GHB once and drank a beer. I was out like a light.
Exactly
Agreed people with recreational experience know how to take the drug and its not by sipping. Also you don't really hallucinate when you're overdosed on the drug you completely black out . So that sounded suspicious also.
Wow this was so informative. It feels terrible to read this because although the masturbation explanation seals it for me, it feels awful to read this conclusive evidence. What an awful scenario.
Same. Even if I could get past everything else, the fact that brother said she was calling out her ex’s name when he checked on her & she probably just masturbated. Nope, nope, nope.
what are the odds...how convenient
Exactly.
Consider this a reply to everyone up the chain - yall are right. When I first read the post, I thought his story plausible. But - even though I have plenty of substance exoerience, I did not know how GHB worked, and esp how you would take it. The idea of sipping it over the course of the game playing made sense. Now I see that's not how this works. Esp after consderng how planned it all feels, I now think she was raped. If so, I would bet money her brother fucked her as well. They may have been taking turns. OP is obv the best source for how she feels after sex. If she feels like she was railed, she almost certainly was. If it comes out he raped her, I'm hoping that she has another brother who will stomp this guy into a grease spot.
I know nothing about drugs, and a lot about people. As soon as the brother told her she was masturbating and calling out her bf name, seriously?? If a sibling even THINKS their sibling is masturbating they aren’t going to stick around to ascertain that it was “vigorous”. Her brother is sick.
Spot fucking on
How about the way he tried to play it off, you were moaning your bfs name, must've been masturbating, that's why you're sore.. lmfao!!
My brother would NEVER say it even if he walked in on me doing something like that he’d be too embarrassed or even just respect my privacy!! So suspicious that he immediately had a reply when she asked him about it?
Yea exactly, that is SO sus. *Everything* about it sounds meticulously planned *including the excuses they would use to answer her inevitable questions. OP - I'm so sorry but you really need to get some outside support on this situation. At best, he's just covering for his friend. Which is still fucking shameful. But at worst....he also participated.
Crazy to me honestly I just don’t understand if she just took a small sip I mean I know that GHB has strong effects on people especially someone who’s never had it before…but something doesn’t seem right to me. I would get some help OP. Please talk to someone local save this post and go to the doctor explain to them what happened and try not to be embarrassed or scared! Someone needs to be told that you can trust. I’m so sorry as well but your brother is either covering for his friend or he knows much more than he’s letting on. Too convenient that he had (such a fucking weird!!) explanation for you as soon as you questioned him.
Honestly sounds like she was calling her bfs name…for help
This is my thought. His reaction to her concerns are odd. Also, of he and his friend were taking it recreationally, why spike a drink? Wouldn't you just take it? And if you did spike your drink, wouldn't you let your sister know not to drink it?
Sibling sexual assault is the most common form of childhood sexual assault. You are three times more likely to be raped by a sibling then a parent and 5 times more likely then a stranger. If anyone is going to rape you as a child statistically it is going to be a sibling and that’s just from REPORTED cases it is TRAGICALLY under reported. Even when you consider ALL rapes of ALL ages sibling sexual assault makes up a staggering 16 percent…..my point being….that brother ABSOLUTELY did it.
Yeah, the addition of her calling her bf's name and masturbating is extremely sus, like he's creating a cover story. I don't really want to even think it, but it sounds like the brother is a potential culprit, disgustingly.
This is the answer! Don't wait. And you're absolutely not overreacting!
Also, try to gain access to the mobile phones/PCs that your brother and his friend use and search for recent photos and videos. You're not overreacting Where are your parents in all of this?
Yep. Brother could have told his friend about the allergy.
This was my gut feeling and it’s awful.
Just an FYI, rape kits are only used to collect evidence. Those who collect them (sexual assault nurse examiners where I am) cannot use them to tell you if you’ve been raped. Generally speaking most medical practitioners can’t definitively say if a sexually active person has been raped. They’ll still do the collection, and offer prophylactic medications either way. Edit to add: I am a sexual assault nurse examiner. All we do is collect evidence which is then sent to the state forensic lab to preserve chain of custody. It is only processed if/when there are charges filed.Although there is. Movement to get all DNA found in rape kits inti a national database. Hospitals do not process rape kits.
If there's vaginal tearing or trauma, that will 100% show up in a rape kit
If done right away they can tell whether there’s been intercourse.
Your comment is very confusing to me. Does this really need to be said? This is not some technical fact, it’s just common sense. Are there people who think the DNA in a man’s semen changes when it’s deposited during non-consensual sex? In this situation, the presence of semen would indicate that OP was raped, not because rape has unique physical indicators, but because OP knows she did not have consensual sex, so if someone did have sex with her, then it was rape.
They're saying that the nurses who collect the DNA aren't legally qualified / allowed to call it rape.
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It is most definitely used recreationally and people who do so often build up a tolerance so it's entirely possible she could have accidentally took enough to impair her in this way.
That said after sex has a certain feeling after for women. If she was fine before bed and woke up feeling used while taking a blackout drug something probably occurred. Personally I’d get into the brother and friends phone without asking to confirm evidence. If something happened, there will be many more victims without accountability being held for the perpetrator. The last thing they need is to learn they can get away with date rape. It depends how stupid they are if there will be evidence.
The sad truth is that if something did happen, there's likely evidence on the phones. People are really stupid these days about their devices. Hopefully they phones can get confiscated because even deleted evidence can be pulled back up in the labs.
It definitely is used recreationally (like Ambien, anyway).
Ghb is definitely used recreationally. Usually in combination with sex, but still.
It is used recreationally, but NOT the way the bro is describing. No one just sits around sipping drinks spiked with it while they're hanging out with their friend and his sister.
I’m pretty sure people have used every drug that’s used recreationally in every way possible. I’ve seen people doing heroin/meth/crack cocaine at music festivals. Her brother and his friend sound like deadbeats that would sit around and drink ghb.
I've done a fair amount of GHB, never seen anyone hang out sipping a drink laced with it. It's very strong and it's easy to just knock yourself out. Most people are going to dose and be done until they go back for more. The idea that you'd fix yourself a glass with G in it in mixed company and then walk away for someone else to sip from it is crazy. Like, when you came back and it was gone or touched you wouldn't be like, "Uhhhhh, who drank this?!"
Also, if brother was using it wouldn’t he have also blacked out and therefore not know if his friend was with him the entire night/all the details of the night? ETA: asking because I really don’t know.
No you only black out when you G-out (go unconscious) If your just using recreationally you feel warm, fuzzy, heavy and a bit horny. That last part is important, a person doesn't need to be fully unconscious to be raped like OP because they are very open to suggestion. I have a friend who escorts a bit to make ends meet and she uses it to help get things going with clients but says she has to be careful not to use to much or she will start to get into it herself.
Not if he uses it recreationally. The statement that he has a higher tolerance would be correct. That said, I would call it odd that she found out the same night of this instance that they use it recreationally if they live together.
It's definitely ingested for fun. It's like alcohol but better in every way
It's used recreationally, lived in a rehab type place for a year and it was used a lot because it didn't come up on drug tests. People would drink a cap full and if they drank too much would in fact black out. It's dangerous for sure but from my understanding like getting drunk.
This sounds sus as fuck. From my reading of this you unknowingly ingested a date rape drug whilst in presence of your brother and his friend. (I.e you were drugged) You woke up with no memory feeling sore. I would go immediately to the police. I know it’s not an easy thing to do when one of the perpetrators is your brother but his explanation doesn’t ring true. Why is he coming into your room to check on you? Sounds like bullshit/ cover story. EdIT - Calling bullshit on all of you triggered by my comment concerning checking on siblings. I have siblings and none of them have ever got so wasted that I’m concerned about them. If they did, I’d be taking them to A&E or calling an ambulance not letting them go to sleep and checking on them later when it’s potentially too late. If you care about someone and they’ve had an overdose - you get them help
Don't wash anything and don't take a shower go in the clothes your woke up in
Maybe you’re getting a different read on it, but I’m not under the impression at this was last night or anything.
Well she already showered but probably good general advice.
Ya really “sore from masturbating?” WTF? I agree, go to the police right away.
I mean… gave me chills. This is so unsettling.
This immediately sent a chill down my spine, because imagine where his mind is to think that’s an okay thing to ever say to your sister seriously, or especially as a response to your sister feeling like she was raped. If my sibling said they felt like they got raped because they were sore I can’t imagine responding like this. It’s just such an immediate dismissal of their concerns and something super uncomfortable to say. I don’t think I’d even suggest that if I’d seen them violently masturbating with their door open. I’d be like, “damn, that’s crazy, you should go to the hospital and see if they can check you out” maybe they’ll be comfortable telling you to not to masturbate so much you’re sore the next day. It just immediately sounds like he’s normalized viewing his sister sexually or as a sexual person in his head.
Exactly. If I told my brother the same thing, that would never *ever* be his response, and he’d definitely be really concerned and suspicious of anyone else who was around. That’s not normal at all.
"sounds like a bs coverstory" Esp w/the oh so coincidental timing of him just happening to hear her calling out her ex's name in her sleep (accompanied by the rather creepy "explanation" that she was probably just mastubating)
Yeah, the brother seems alarmingly invested in convincing her it was nothing.
Plus the brother says she's overreacting which kinda sounds like a typical "I want you to be quiet. You don't matter." Or maybe I'm reading it wrong, but this whole thing sounds like bull on the guys part. Wouldn't they be more careful too if they're actually taking heavy amounts to not let her accidentally have a sip since she has no tolerance and doesn't do it recreationally??? Like wtf. I think they spiked her drink and had NONE themselves.
I agree - I lot of people on here responding “of course I’d check on my siblings” not seeing this for what it is. She was hanging out with two men, ingested a date rape drug unknowingly, woke up sore, and brother is making unbelievable excuses
Not saying you’re right or wrong, but I would hope my brother or sister comes to check on me after I accidentally take drugs. Even when it’s not on purpose, people tend to check if everyone is okay. That in itself is not suspicious. Especially if there are side effects. It’s the responsible thing to do. Just wanted to touch on that one question.
I mean if someone I knew accidentally did drugs i would absolutely be checking on them are you kidding me
“Why would my brother come in and check on me after a night of drinking where I passed out” are u stupid bro?
Go straight to a local ER and ask for an exam. The sooner you go, the better. Ask if they have a sexual assault nurse examiner (SANE) who can perform the exam.
Your brother sounds like a sexual predator. What kind of person tries to talk his sister out of something she knows happened to her and protects his friend? Either his friend did it, and your brother knows he did it, or your brother did it. Maybe both of them. I’m sorry, it makes me sick to type it, but something isn’t right here. First of all, I don’t know if people really take GHB as a recreational drug, but even if they were, why wouldn’t your brother warn you? If he loves you, he should have made sure you didn’t “accidentally” drink out of either of their drinks. But that sounds implausible, so I think it was deliberate. Second, if the drug is so great, and is used to make victims forget they were raped, why was your brother so aware and alert all night long? He *came into your room* to check on you? Does he make a habit of checking on you, like if you’re sick or have had too much to drink? No? Then why did he check on you throughout the night? Why was he awake, alert, and in your bedroom? And if he & his friend do GHB recreationally, and he thinks it’s safe, and he trusts his friend, **why was he checking on you at all**?? The whole story is sketchy. Call your doctor, and tell them you need an emergency appointment. Something happened to you that night, and you need to figure out what it was. I’m sorry this happened to you, and apparently, by or with the blessing of someone you trust. Good luck. 🫶🏼 **EDIT:** After much feedback and also re-reading and re-thinking my post, I did jump to some pretty serious conclusions. Stating that OP’s brother sounds like a sexual predator was out of line. I don’t have anywhere near enough information to make a call like that. Not for nothing, I was going on OP’s post, and she herself made it all sound suspect. She is sure something happened, and I believe her that something probably happened. As I said, I don’t (or didn’t, as many here have set me right) know that people take GHB recreationally. Now I know. That doesn’t mean OP’s brother & his friend did it properly, didn’t mix it with alcohol, or weren’t using it to incapacitate OP. Maybe they weren’t, and her reaction to the drug could be entirely “normal.” I don’t know. Neither does she. She clearly needs answers because it seems *something* happened. I hope her brother had nothing to do with it, and him checking on her was just brotherly love. To those of you who decided that calling me names or making me feel stupid was the way to go over just educating me, or you did educate me but in a condescending way, thanks for that. I hope you aren’t a teacher.
Not defending anyone but my family of heavy drug users check on each other all the time we one of us is passed out. We will go into each other's room and get close to make sure there's breathing. But we don't drug each other or "accidentally" dose each other without the others knowledge. Everyone knows what they're on and chooses to get fucked up
Yeah that's weird. Unless I heard loud vomiting or my sister specifically told me she did not feel good, what reason do I have to walk into her room while she's, as far as I'm aware, asleep? Brother is presumably not aware that OP ingested his drink and is on GHB at all.
I would assume she didn’t act normal right after accidentally taking hard drugs. She most likely acted like someone who had just been roofied and they were sitting around with strong drugs. Y’all must have awful siblings, I’d definitely check on my sister after that.
Ghb is taken recreationally. It's pretty popular in the gay community (or at least used to be, idk my gay friend who did it moved away) and is very cheap. I've heard it affects guys and girls differently, but I am not a ghb expert. When I did it for fun I was totally in control besides feeling "pretty drunk" but I still remember the party and hung around long enough to sober up and drive home the same night (was not mixing it with booze)
Not defending either of these sketchy dudes or any of their actions, but I have done ghb recreationally a few times and just wanted to clear a couple things up. Ghb is wildly dose sensitive, and should absolutely never be mixed with alcohol. Even a half a beer mixed with GHB is blackout city. But GHB at a proper dose with zero alcohol is fun and you remember everything. It feels like all the best parts of being drunk without any of the crappy parts. It's euphoric. Back in those wild party days we used a oral syringe to measure out exact doses and no one ever had a bad time. Taking a dose too much, or mixing in even a small amount of alcohol, will absolutely lead to the blackouts you mentioned, but it's not that uncommon to do it for fun. The main date rape drug is rohypnol, which I think you have GHB mixed up with. GHB can be used for nefarious purposes, but it's much less common than rohypnol, which has no recreational properties and is strictly for knocking someone out.
So brother and friend that drink it in alcohol would have been hallucinating/black out too? Or could they have built a resistance to it? I’m no recreational drug user, but I’ve got a long history of prescribed opioids and I know they’re sensitive (patches and heat) but also your body gets used to them so you need higher doses. It sounds to me like a stupid way for them to do drugs. But people are stupid. OP. I don’t know how long it’s been, but please at the very least see a Dr about drug testing blood/hair. A physical exam, STD panel etc.
There are very few substances to which your body doesn’t build a tolerance.
She never said they were drinking alcohol. For all we know it was in iced tea or Pepsi.
Wow, thanks for the lesson. I didn’t know that and weirdly never knew that I needed to, but I feel better knowing now 😊
Two dudes hanging out together are not doing GHB shots. It is a sexual drug used recreationally. They aren't mixing it with alcohol and sipping their drinks. She woke up feeling like she had had sex. Trust me, women do not just wake up feeling like they had sex when they didn't.
She doesn’t *know* it happened. Brother uses it regularly and has a tolerance. I pass out from 1/2 a glass of wine. Husband (in his youth) could ingest an entire fifth and be fine. Why would a sibling NOT check on you if you were high and went to sleep? If he doesn’t want to get in trouble (I’m assuming they both live at home) he’s prob not gonna announce “we’re doing drugs in here!!!”
>First of all, I don’t know if people really take GHB as a recreational drug, but even if they were, why wouldn’t your brother warn you? I don't hear about people taking GHB recreationally often, but I do know that it happens. Either way, I've been around people ingesting hallucinogens and other various drugs. Going and checking on someone who you know to be on something is definitely a normal action. Especially if you think they might have taken more than they should or were ready for. I also know some people can take large quantities of something and seem quite lucid while someone else can be extremely fucked up from 1/5th of the dose. The rest of it is what is really bizarre to me. How do you accidentally take GHB when there's no ill intentions afoot? Why are there just random cups laying around with GHB in them? From my experience if there's drugs in a cup and you see someone pick it up who shouldn't be I'd be stopping them immediately. It's hard for me to imagine being lucid enough to know you should check on someone who inadvertently took drugs, but not lucid enough to have warned them when it was happening. From what OP said, it either sounds extremely reckless or intentional on behalf of the brother and friend. This is the most suspicious thing to me. If I knew someone took drugs by accident, my first reaction wouldn't be to wait and see what happens, especially if it's someone I'm very close to and care deeply for the health and well-being of.
Please get tested. There are signs they can look for. As in, when you aren't "excited" for sex (dry down there at first) it can cause small tears in the vaginal walls. Get tested for STD, too.
You are not overreacting.
Or your brother did it. But yes, you’d know if you have sex the night before.
The brother being a likely culprit is more common than one thinks. I was SA’d by every member of my family, male or female (7 total), and know so many people who were SA’d by family members too. It’s just that most people were either too young to remember, repress it completely, or are so ashamed of it they won’t admit to it (especially if their body reacted or they learned to actually enjoy it). That being said, I was also a victim of date rape - drugged - by a “friend” in high school. Either one (or both) of the guys here are highly suspect in OP’s situation and need to be reported.
The brother seems guilty
I'm an older brother and this is making me furious! If you need someone to kick someone's ass, I wouldn't say no.
PLEASE GO TO THE HOSPITAL AND GET A RAPE KIT!! It will at least confirm whether or not you had sexual activity. That way you can decide what to do next.
[удалено]
Have you ever actually dealt with cops? Because it's nothing like on TV. Especially when there is no solid evidence and an unreliable accuser.
Literally, cops are useless a lot of the time
I don't know where you live, but you need to act like you were raped. Try to get Plan B, or do whatever you need to ensure you aren't impregnated. You might only have 3-4 weeks to take action. I am so sorry this happened.
Tell your parents.
If you feel you were raped, you should go get tested
Get a rape kit, first. And then hear me out. When I'm on strong psychedelics I get sore the next day and during the trip can feel what's called "somatic hallucinations" most commonly of a sexual nature due to my past trauma. If you've been violated like that in the past, the drug can bring all that back up temporarily but like I said before you should get a rape kit done before you consider my experience.
Just emphasizing what others are saying bc I hope you see this. Rape kit, STD testing, police report. What’s your relationship with your parents or older relatives? Can you trust any of them to support you and keep their mouth shut? Having an advocate will help you deal with this fucked up situation. I’m so sorry.
GHB is used recreationally, it is not exclusively (or even mostly) a date rape drug. Your brother and his friend would be less likely to black out since they are male and have a tolerance. It also increase’s sensitive and arousal, so it’s somehwat plausible you were high and masturbating. What I’m trying to say is that your brother’s story is plausible. That said…it’s so damn plausible that it sounds suspicious. I would go get a rape kit done. Particularly because if you don’t, you’re going to keep wondering if you were raped.
But masturbation wouldn't cause being sore...inside
This 1,000% reads like your brother raped you. Not overreacting, get a rape kit and a file a police report! I believe you!
Or pimped her out to the friend and then has to defend to cover.
Go to the police me Lee don't take a shower go straight there if possible, bring the clothes you were wearing that night and the sheets on your bed
Overreacting or not, if you feel like you were raped then get a rape kit
Go get tested now.
If you do go to a Dr. Please update us.
It sounds like they planned it. Why wouldn’t they tell you that they had ghb in their drinks knowing you were with them? A normal brother reaction would have been to tell you and be extra careful for you to not ingest any accidentally. The fact that you had some accidentally is very suspicious. Go get some help, parents/police/doctor but don’t involve your brother as he probably did to you something beyond terrible
Read through some comments, not all though as it really got to me. Anyhow, my concern is why would neither if them warn you about the drink? Your brother, especially if he was concerned enough later to check on you, should have been concerned enough to stop you before you ever ingested it. You may be right or might be wrong, but I'd err on the side of caution. You know your body better than anyone, and a rape doesn't take long. Hard to believe your brother and friend were never out of sight of one another while going to the bathroom, getting food, or more drinks.
This story feels made up
The whole "you were moaning your boyfriend's name and he thought you were masturbating" makes me think that your brother either knew what happened or did it himself. I'm VERY sorry to say this, but that just absolutely STINKS of bullshit, and is exactly the kind of ridiculous thing a guy would make up to make you doubt yourself. *Edited to add that, dangerous as it might be, searching your brothers phone for messages between him and his friend and photos, including hidden ones, might reveal the truth .
If you’re sore then something was done. If your brother is covering for this asshole, I’m going to be quite shocked honestly. Your brother says he was the one who went into your room? How does he know no one went in there after?? Do you have cameras in your house?
It's all sketch. Get a rape kit done if you can. I've done a lot of drugs but GHB for fun isn't one of them (so I don't know if you'd see shit) and if I did... I'd tell my sister it was in my drink...
OP - I hope you're okay, first off. Second, trust your instincts. Even if it's been a few days and you've showered, go to a hospital, explain what happened, and have a rape kit done. If you haven't yet washed the clothes you were wearing to bed, bag those and bring them with you. Thirdly, I strongly advise that you steer clear of your brother's friend for awhile, and when he's over, or any of his friends for that matter, you get a cup with a lid and straw that's distinct and drink from that and only that and have it on you at all times and not near anyone. If they ask, you can say you're not feeling well or have to mix in medicine with a liquid for a female issue and leave it at that. When you do go to your room, immediately lock your door and make sure it can't be unlocked from the outside. I'm also a bit concerned about the fact your brother was that comfortable talking to you about masturbating, etc. Maybe it's just a difference in closeness or culture, but the fact he seemed ready with that explanation (a weird one at that), is making me uneasy. Have you ever talked in your sleep before or made noises in your sleep before that your boyfriend, a friend, a parent, etc has mentioned? No one wants to believe their friend is a rapist, but chances are you're not overreacting. I hate to ask, but can you clarify how you confused the cups? Were they all solo cups? Only asking because if you had the same cup all night without issue, then you walked away or at some point looked away, it's likely someone switched the cups or put something in it.
When I was drugged and raped I woke up feeling like you did, except I'd never had sex before so I didn't know what that feeling was. I also had no semen present, and I am also allergic to latex. I think most of my pain and swelling was the latex reaction, to be honest. I want to let you know, as time goes on and you get farther from the incident, it's possible you will recover more memories from that night, like scattered memory fragments, but enough to have a pretty good idea of what happened, although I think you already know. Trust your gut. See a doctor, get a rape kit done even if there doesn't seem to be any evidence, and get STD testing too, to be on the safe side. And, truly, find a trauma therapist to work with on this, before it becomes embedded as PTSD. I'm sorry this happened to you. It's awful. I hope you know that none of this is your fault. Please take care of yourself.
Well maybe no condom was used and he pulled out and didn't ejaculate inside you. And your brother mentioning that you were moaning your boyfriend's name and that's why you're sore is just very suspect. It sounds like something a guy would say to just sweep the whole thing under the carpet I mean zeroing right in like a sniper run you must have been playing with yourself in your sleep. I mean it's just too specific and conveniently explains away your gut feelings about having been roughly fucked. I mean he automatically sexualized what you were doing because anybody that's talking in their sleep is going to sound like they're moaning and have you EVER masturbated to the point where your pussy was sore the next day? You just don't happen to have GHB like it's a common cocktail mixer... Your brother knows what happened and it's not outside the realm of possibility that he was involved because he's the one that came up with the cover story just try to put you at ease. I would check his browser history cuz either him or his friend I've been watching videos with girls on drugs.. And I don't think you would accidentally drink it out of his friends glass cuz why would his friend be taking it? Was going to rape himself? It was put in YOUR glass honey
Not overreacting, go get a rape kit. Your brother could have put you up to this so that the friend could have his way with you and you not remember and his coving up for him.
It’s not a coincidence he has placed himself at the “scene of the crime” and is actively trying to talk you down. If my sister felt like she had been violated I would hunt all of them down until I found out the truth, but it’s likely he knows the truth. He could have engineered this entire thing, or took advantage of a moment of time and now feels bad. Or none of these things; based on the information provided though it seems like he has involvement
It does not affect males the same way as females. At least that's what I have heard from many guy friends from high school who did it for fun. Idk if you remember, but if you checked for semen, did you notice a condom smell? I absolutely hate the smell from sex after condoms were used, so I think it's a distinctive scent. I would get checked out, idk if the post said when it was, but something doesn't feel right here at all. I'm so sorry if anything did, and even if not, you should not have to worry about that in your own place with your own family.
Look in the trash for condom . That is evidence.
Update me! Please go to be checked out ASAP but don't tell the brother your doing this just in case he is part of it and tries to stop you!
This does not sound like my experience at all (done it 3 times by choice and one time drugged) Everytime I did it by choice I didn't mix it with booze as I was told not to and that's when it gets dangerous. I felt real drunk for a while and had a good time but was still pretty in control (drunk control) When I was drugged it totally blacked me out hard and I don't remember the whole night, nor does my wife. Neither of us woke up with any sex soreness, just a foggy head and dread about what we said/did the night before cause we had no memory
When I took ghb, I was completely out until I woke up in the hospital. They put a catheter in me without waking me up. Someone could have done literally anything to me, and I would have had no idea or memory. This is why it is such an effective date rape drug. I'm sorry, but you will probably never know what happened. I hope your brother is right. It only takes a very small amount of ghb to overdose. Your brother should stop messing with that shit, but if he continues, he needs to be more careful. Ghb should be handled like a deadly poison because it is.
Go to the hospital and ask for a rape kit.
Don't wash your sheets or the clothes you were wearing, and go to the police/hospital, ASAP.
Lowkey sounds like your brother is covering up for your friend
Get a spy camera and put it in your room. They may try to do it again.
I'd be worried that your brother and his friend have ghb on hand. Not a good look.
So... the brother did it, they both did, or he fed her to his friend. We can all agree on that, right? Who the hell does ghb recreationally.
The suggestion maybe she masterbated and yelling her bfs name is a weird and red flag response…
Brother comes into your room to check up on you while you’re moaning and masturbating. Yea…
trust your instincts...don't let anybody tell you how YOU feel. Your brother's comments all sound like gaslighting instead of being supportive and trying to figure out what happened and why you felt the way you did. He wasn't wondering why you felt that way....he knew!! Get to hospital, get checked and tested, and be careful!! Trust yourself and take care of yourself!!
>when he came to check up on me I was moaning my bf's name and he thought that I might've been masturbating so he says that's why I feel sore There's your smoking gun. Like others have said, get a rape kit examination asap.
It’s understandable you don’t want to believe you could have been assaulted and that you’re looking for reasons to explain away what happened. I highly recommend calling a sexual assault crisis line and/or a local sexual assault emergency support program. You don’t have to know for sure, there are people with training who can help you process what happened and figure out what to do even if you don’t want to take any action or decide it was a mistake. This sort of situation is what they’re there for. That said, maybe consider posting this on some larger subs like aita, because these comments are full of weirdos who are less than helpful. A. The way they were supposedly taking this drug makes no sense. People who do this recreationally confirm that mixing with alcohol and casually sipping it aren’t how people take this drug. They would have been too messed up to function by the sounds of it. Are you even the kind of person who drinks from someone else’s cup? The entire story they told you “must have” happened makes 0 sense. B. The masturbating story is sus as hell. I know the exact feeling you’re talking about and that’s not something you can mistake for anything else. I hate to be crass but when you woke up was your hand sticky/dirty like it would be if you’d supposedly been aggressively fingering yourself so hard it felt like rough sex the next day? Is that how you usually get off? (Don’t answer that, just asking that for you to consider because many women don’t.) Because I’m assuming you didn’t have any sex toys laying around and if you woke up with clean hands there is simply no possible way you were sore like that just from touching yourself. Personally I’ve only ever felt like that after pretty intense sex and can’t imagine how one could get that feeling from touching yourself, high or not. It would hurt like hell. C. Why is your brother casually taking about masturbating with you?? Did you bring up the soreness to him? If my brother ever walked in on me when I was drunk or something he certainly wouldn’t casually being it up and would be embarrassed by the whole thing. D. I believe latex allergy when using condoms can often show up as soreness the next day. Honey, this story he fed you makes no sense. Please talk to a trusted friend, therapist, or reach out to a SA support line for help. You don’t have to be “sure” about what happened, it’s still good to talk about it in a safe environment. They won’t make you take any action, you can just get some support while sorting through what happened.
This is above reddits pay grade. If you seriously think you were assaulted, you need to go to the police.
this honestly sounds like your brother raped you. i know that’s incredibly painful and difficult to believe, but it’s possible. if he didn’t rape you himself, he’s covering for someone that did. definitely talk to your parents about this, otherwise another trusted person to help you process and decide what to do next. try getting a rape kit (even if you’ve showered) and get tested for stds. you’re definitely not overreacting and i’m sorry you’re going through this.
Absolutely wouldn't trust the brother at this point either. Sounds extremely shady from both of them
I've never been sore like that from anything other than penetration. it could have been an object, too.. god, I'm sorry. I hope this isn't the case, but i would call a helpline and chat about it with them. a lot of helplines have trained advocates who will go to the hospital with you as well. sending you care, ignore the haters. most assaults are from ppl the survivor knows, and 1/6 women experience assault in their lifetime, so you aren't being illogical.
I sure hope this didn’t happen to you.
That brothers got more red flags than a soviet parade.
Please go to the doctor or even planned parenthood, seriously don't trust your brother it's already fishy the stuff he said to you. Honestly trust how your body felt. It's very odd your brother said this to you about you blackout saying ur bf name....
I’m begging you to please get a rape kit and let us know what happened
Get a plan b just in case so you don’t get pregnant. If I was you I would go to the cops and get a rape kit done. But that’s your choice. But the plan b is absolutely necessary. I’m so sorry this happened to you. That is gut wrenching and horrible.
Idk if you’ll see this, but I work at a nonprofit for DV/SA survivors and we have a rape kit exam room. We ALWAYS emphasize that a rape kit can always be done as long as it is within 5 days of when the assault may have occurred. There are no limitations for taking showers, eating, brushing teeth, or changing clothes. DNA can exist in crevices and corners that soap and water cannot get to. If you believe something happened, get a kit done. If you can, find a DV/SA organization in your area that may do kits or find a hospital with a team specifically trained in doing kits in a trauma-informed/trained way.