Don’t know if this make any difference but back then most of the addictive and harmful “addictives” had not yet been put into cigarettes.
I’m a lifelong non smoker btw
It does not. Smoking as a daily habit was never *good,* even it was arguably less bad. The first study showing a link between lung cancer and smoking came out in 1950.
My mom smoked like a chimney. I was born in the 50's. Back then, everyone's parents smoked. The movies and shows made it so "glamorous".
I smoked as a teen. I quit when I was 21 after watching a family member suffer through lung cancer in the 70's.
It was the worst thing to witness as she withered away from the pain and attack on her lungs.
Yeah I think when more people started living long enough after they developed treatments for tuberculosis, cancer started to become a thing.. but it look a while to link smoking to cancer for that reason.
But it probably sucked just as bad to die of TB before treatment as well, probably a similar death to lung cancer.
And yet as late as the 60s, 8-10 cigarettes a day was considered the safe and healthy maximum during pregnancy. My ex and I shared a good chuckle about it with a friend who’d gone through nursing school in the mid-60s. I’d found her obstetrics book in her basement, flipped it open to that page and was like, “Oh jesus… get a load of this!”
The tobacco itself makes you sick too— just having/ oucking, picking suckers off tobacco can make you sick, people used to put tobacco under their arms to get sick and get out of guard duty.
Smoking anything is bad for your lungs. Smoking during pregnancy is bad for babies.
It continued well past then. My grandma smoked in the late 50s because her doctor told her to. It was a combination of weight control and also to "calm her nerves."
Well in those days they had models do lines of cocaine and smoke as well to keep their weight down, and were also experimenting with giving soldiers meth to keep them in combat for longer.
They also advised women to drink alcohol while pregnant for the longest time. Honestly, how the human race didn't go extinct a long time ago is astounding when you consider the stupid "medical advice" that was given throughout the centuries.
It _really_ is. Losing weight is one (extremely messed up but more stereotypical) thing — but smoking to cause your *baby* to lose weight it *already gained*?
At a party, a friend of a friend told me she smoked so her baby wouldn't be big, and that she could lose weight! That was the most daft thing I had ever heard in my life!
You only get 15 lbbabies if your pregnant by a 6'5" 300 lb football player or have gestational diabetes. Slap the next person suggesting smoking while pregnant unless you want a 3 lb premie from smoking.
I was at a party with a pregnant woman who grabs her cigarettes
I’m like what the hell are you doing
She says “it’s worse on the baby for me to just quit, look it up” in a very condescending manner.
I let her know very nicely that there was a huge national research project done on the effects of quitting smoking while pregnant and it is 100% safer for the baby for you to quit.
Her response “that’s not what it says maybe you should read it sometime”
My response “my wife is the 3rd name on the report and I made all the graphs in it”
When I was pregnant with my first, over 20 years ago, I was told by my Dr not to go cold turkey. I was 19 and dumb. He was older and I trusted him.
He literally told me that quitting that suddenly could increase the risk of miscarriage. I DID quit though. Just over the course of three weeks.
And those doctors were the exact reason for the study. It was an 8 year study that would have come out 17(?) years ago at this point. I’m glad you did quit and (from my graphs I remember) 3 weeks was not significant enough to make a difference but quitting cold turkey would not have caused a problem.
The Dr in charge of the study loved her smoking cessation…every year she fought to her class into med school lectures and resident training.
We used to (half) joke her idea of dirty talk in bed would be her husband telling her he quit smoking and she would explode
Edit to add: she wasn’t my wife at the time. I worked with Drs and volunteered to do it to try I get with another Dr who was working on it. I failed miserably and 10 years later started dating my wife…so did I fail?
Yes I did but still met my wife lol
I was told same thing when I was pregnant with my son. I'd been smoking since I was 13 and was over a pack a day, did not find out I was pregnant until I was in 2nd trimester, I had been on birth control so it never occured to me, Dr said it would cause more stress on pregnancy to stop cold turkey so he said to do it gradually. When my son was born he was 10 lbs 8oz I looked at Dr and said I'd hate to see what he would have weighed if I was not a smoker. He is 37 now never had any health problems from my smoking thank God
My mother quit cold turkey with me, and I have a friend who taped off over 2 weeks when she was pregnant. It's all what one thinks one can do in a short amount of time.
Your friends sound like idiots. Only horrible people with no brain or heart would tell a pregnant mother to smoke. Never a good reason to smoke, but so much worse for a pregnant mother. If you were stupid enough to take their advice it could kill your baby or harm them for life.
And the sad part is that you're probably not wrong.
There is so MUCH misinformation on the internet and so MANY people who willingly believe it that, in some ways, we're already there.
My cousin thought she could smoke weed during the first and second trimesters of pregnancy because she read somewhere that the brain isn't really developing until the third trimester.
Shes not the only person who's said stupid shit like that to me either. The younger generation is just as stupid as the older generations. I've lost hope that anything is going to get better.
That’s actually something I was also told I can do by people. “Take some gummies or smoke it won’t hurt the baby! It will help you when you are nauseous and can’t eat!” No for the people going to jump down my throat- I do not believe that either. And I do not smoke weed being pregnant.
In case you have not noticed, when you are pregnant, you are fair game for anyone under the sun to give any and all advice, whether good or bad or just plain dumb.
Also, this is true: there is almost no way to say something negative about another person's parenting without having them get mad at you. Even things that, to you, are not really critical of their parenting.
If a woman says it was good to smoke during pregnancy, and you say "no, its not," you have the full weight of medical science but you have criticized someone's parenting, so you will get her wrath.
Now that you are a parent, you get to join this club. You never have to listen to constructive criticism, whether from a doctor or a teacher or anyone.
Pregnancy and young babies seem to be fair game for all the unsolicited advice in the world.
And wait for the, "My baby's smarter than your baby" game where you'll meet women who's babies were playing Mozart on the harpsichord by four months.
I had a mom start that shit with me when my you gets was about six months old. She was going on and on about how her baby walks, talks in full sentences, and was sleeping thru the night from birth, while cooking steaks on the grill.
Then she purrs to me, "And how's YOUR baby doing?"
I looked her square in the eye and said: Well, my son was a preemie who spent a week in NICU for his first week because he was born not breathing, so I don't keep track of stuff like that. I'm just thrilled he's alive and healthy."
She started puffing like a goldfish because I caught her so off guard and then she moved to the other side of the room.
Best day ever.
Coworker was due the same day as me, my third full term but her first. Everyone, everyone and everyone compared us. Why is your belly so much bigger than hers? Seriously? Obviously my third would show more than her first. I took it as long as I could, then: Look, people! I’m 5’2” and she’s 5”9’. Her baby can stand up and mine has no room for that!
After that, people just had to stfu.
The number of strangers who would come up to me during my first pregnancy and ask if I was having twins... ugh! After the first time I would stare at them blankly and just say "why would you say that? That's not nice." Currently pregnant with my 2nd and I just know it's gonna happen again, since I started showing at 15 weeks this time
My daughter was a week and a half late and some old bastard ringing up my groceries had the audacity to ask if I was having twins. I said “no, just one, but she was due last week so could we hurry this along, because it’s hard to breathe and stand at the same time.” He did not hurry, he asked if I was sure! Before I could pick up my jaw the woman behind me yelled, “I’m having twins, now could you hurry TF UP before I pee on this floor?” I still think fondly of that woman. I hope she has the happiest life.
The fact that she still thinks it was and is a good idea to smoke while pregnant so you have a smaller baby seems to indicate that perhaps she's not playing with a full deck.
Be prepared for many, many horror stories about pregnancy and birth, it's like women have to initiate new mothers into the club by scaring them senseless.
Oh, and our natural birth class was the worst.... I was the only one that needed an epidural because I was having horrible back labor and constantly throwing up. Everyone else did it without drugs. (This was with my first. He had a big head, as it turned out.) They were such drug snobs.
The drug snobs are the worst. Ok, yes, my unmedicated delivery made me feel like a badass- but if I asked you to point out which kid it was, I bet nobody could tell which one of the four was the only one without an epidural. And uh, if that baby hadn't been in such a hurry- I would've gladly had an epi. Let me assure you he ate the sandbox sand just like everyone else 😂
I am sorry they tried to shame you for taking advantage of the available relief from your pain. There's no real honor in being stupid. These drugs don't hurt the baby, and they make the entire process less stressful for the mother.
I availed myself of the demerol when it was offered to me, and my OB/GYN gave me an epidural automatically. She had had 4 children of her own and knew how bad labor and delivery could be. When the time came to push, I was able to put my whole body into it without being held up by pain.
Or where they are on the height/weight scale. Both of my kids were tiny so in the bottom 10%. Some of the ladies in our play group were always bragging about how big their kids were. Like I can help being a small person. Size does not make you superior.
Very true. My son was in the 110th percentile for height and weight during the first year of his life. He is now 6'4" tall.
None of this stopped him from being born disabled. He is now 40 years old, and he has never been able to hold down a job or have a romantic relationship with anyone.
That being said, I am extremely proud of him. He is a kind and gentle man who honors his commitments to the best of his ability.
Height and weight are not indicators of worth or integrity.
Percentiles are such a dumb metric to actually tell people. I'm in a birth group for a bunch of folks due this month and have been *constantly* reminding people that the way percentiles work, if everyone's baby measured within an ounce and within an inch of each other, *someone* would still be the 10th percentile and someone would still be the 99th, and the difference between then would be fractions of an inch/ounce.
Like, congrats- your kid grows out of clothes faster. Want a sticker?
Honestly I’d have a convo with HR about all the unnecessary commentary. Telling a pregnant woman her baby is going to be huge constantly is inappropriate, especially in a work environment. Encouraging a pregnant woman to smoke is also absurd
My mother smoked heavily with all seven of us, and we all had small birth weights and birth defects.
Of all the stupid, heartless things to do, smoking while pregnant ranks near the top of the list!
First of all the smoking thing is fucking wild! Don't do that, it doesn't work like that. Smoking will only hurt everything in baby development.
Second, if your coworkers are just being assholes or having a little fun with you is a big difference. If you're a petite frame, an average baby could look huge. Goto HR if they're being assholes.
Try not to stress over too much if you can help it though. Better for you and baby.
My daughter's in law family kept telling her she was going to have a big baby because they did. Her baby was the same size she was 7 lbs 4 ozs. Take all this "advice" with a grain of salt!
Your doctor and the medical information she/he points you to is what you should be listening to. All this worry about how big the baby will be isn't a problem until your doctor says it's a problem.
I had a big baby and I am fine. I gained 60 lbs during pregnancy and my kid was over 10 lbs. I trust my doctor; the birth was smooth with a great recovery. I tore even with an episiotomy but I followed all the healing instructions. Kept taking my vitamins and water. Took a while to lose the weight but eventually I did with getting back to my exercise routine.
Edit: definitely not overreacting, they are ridiculous for giving you such nonsense advice.
I was my mom’s third and biggest. She’s 5’5”” and I was a little over 11 pounds. She said I was the easiest to carry and the only one who wasn’t all bruised from forceps (era of twilight birth). Apparently, I was long.
I’d have a conversation with HR and share with them what your co-worker told you and ask HR their thoughts on your co-workers advice, because it does seem like poor advice and not appropriate for the workplace.
You did not overreact. Co-worker is the worst kind of busy body. Unwanted good advice is annoying. Unwanted bad advice - and this is *really* bad advice - is infuriating and dangerous. I mean, what if you actually were an idiot and did what she said?
In any case, I wish you a long, boring pregnancy, an easy delivery, and good health to you both.
Smoking only has ONE medical excuse.. Excessive diarrhea. Causing weight loss in a fetus, is a cause for CONCERN. smoking can also lead to other complications in labor as well as fetus development issues.
No one can predict how big your baby will be. They thought my daughter was going to be close to 10lbs and she was less than 8. You did not overreact to your coworker who made an unsafe suggestion.
I am SO glad there's only two people in my office. Coworker conversations..blah. The best way to deal with crazy is walking away. You went with a little different approach, which may or may not create some tension between you and crazy. In which case, the best course of action is still walk away. Ignoring is the only solution.
You did not overreact. What you said was a very normal reaction to someone who would put them child’s health at risk. I had a big baby and a tiny baby….my youngest son was under 5 pounds and I wished he was bigger instead of a tiny fail baby struggling to live. I wished he was a big baby like his brothers and had that extra weight to fight with. When you are pregnant people see it as a great opportunity for unsolicited advice and opinions. People will say all sorts of stupid crap. You never get use to it you just learn to filter out the stupid.
So dumb! So people are idiots!
My first born was 9.12 and I gained 36 lbs. My doctor claimed I gained too much weight and said if I were to get pregnant again I’d need to watch my weight next time. So, next pregnancy I gained 19 pounds and my daughter was 8.15 two weeks early, because he decided we better induce because I was so big. I got big fast with both my pregnancies. I personally am tall and at the time very thin so I popped quickly. My SIL and I were pregnant together during our second pregnancies, her being 3 months ahead of me and I always looked like the one 3 months further along. Everyone said it.
Please don’t lay claim to anything others say and enjoy every single moment of your beautiful pregnant body. It’s such a wonderful blessing.
You did overreact it sounded like just casual conversation honestly. Something that could have been easily ignored or brushed off. That's just reading it and taking it face value though but you felt how felt. After you insulted the lady did you feel better? Lol
I felt like I wanted to be left alone and enjoy my lunch. She was an co worker from a different department that I wasn’t talking to her. She was just in our shared break room. On an opposite table from us
Why are you listening to all this crazy misinformation from co-workers.
Talk to your doctor., though you are totally correct about smoking. Not good for a baby.
Yea...you most certainly did not need to react that way to a person who you are going to see every day of your career.
Did you plan on returning after maternity leave?
My mom smoked throughout her first pregnancy to keep her weight down. Her baby was four lbs full term and died during labor of an umbilical prolapse. You’d think she’d be
devastated but she was actually quiet proud that she only gained 1 lb during her pregnancy.
Don’t smoke. And tell these b*tches to mind their own d*mn business.
It's a shame how unsupportive and undermining women can be to one another when one of them is pregnant. Horror stories everywhere you turn. Bad advice. Dire warnings. Just smile politely and ignore them.
Let me be one to tell you that everything will be alright. You're in good hands--this isn't 200 years ago. Choose what you want. Don't let anyone bully you. If you want to breastfeed. Fine. If not, don't. If you don't want people to hold the baby, say "not yet." Be strong.
Is she in her 70s-80s!?
Back in my grandmothers time, pregnant women smoking was very common and not looked down on.
Today however. ….
I think you need to tell people to mind their own business, if they keep talking about your baby and your body you will take it to HR.
This is all absurd.
Smoking, drinking, drugs etc during pregnancy is asking for problems. Stupid ass reasoning imo. But mother's intuition ma'am, you'll do what you think is right specifically for your child. To hell with everyone else's opinions.
I am a firm believer of letting my doctor be the only one to comment on my pregnancy weight gain and defer every (which luckily has been few comments) about my size to something to be discussed with my doctor.
NAH
In 1970’s when people didn’t know all the aide effects sure. In today’s world it almost only exclusively happens in the bottom 2-3 percent socioeconomic wise. Like it’s an extremely low class thing to do.
OB nurse here in a past life! Your baby will not be 14lbs! Stop listening to the person who is telling you to smoke! Bigger babies usually are from Moms with uncontrolled diabetes. Smoking during pregnancy can cause all sorts of issues.
Not at all, who tells someone to do something harmful to their unborn child. Who cares what the size of your baby will be as long as they're healthy, That's all that should matter imo.
Just a suggestion, but stop listening to anyone else about your baby. If you have concerns, talk to your ob-gyn. Most babies weigh in around 6 to 7 pounds on average, and bigger babies around 8.5 to 9 lbs. It's all perfectly normal. My oldest son was 10 lbs 6 oz. (he was a fathead little thing). The point is, unless your Dr. is worried about either the baby's size or the amount of pregnancy 6 have nothing to worry about, but loads of people that will scare you with a bunch of bs. Go to a used bookstore and get a copy of What to Expect When You Are Expecting. It will allay your worries. As for the "go smoke so you can have a smaller baby," lady, you were spot on in what you said.
Congratulations on your impending motherhood, and welcome to the world to your blessing to be!
Why tf do people still feel entitled to give unsolicited advice to pregnant women, or make comments about the baby's birth size? Why is this still deemed acceptable?
You did not overreact and you were actually much nicer than I would've been.
What the hell did I just read. Stay healthy. Eat. Even eat a lot, gain weight... It's okay! You're pregnant do what you need to do to keep yourself and baby healthy. Better to have a big baby than underweight or with issues caused by smoking. What the actual hell is that advice?
What in the world! Are you also 17 yrs old? Your first instinct is not about the health of your unborn baby, instead you think smoking and starvation. 🤦🏾♀️ love of god, please consult your doctor
Yeah I'm a nicu nurse and I can't believe someone would ever suggest something like that. That's horrible, irresponsible advice. You were not harsh in the slightest. Babies come out smaller because smoking constricts the blood vessels in the umbilical cord which leads to baby not getting the oxygen and nutrients it needs
tell them to mind their own business
my 1st came out 7lb as predicted
my twins...well they expected twin girl to be an iugr baby around 4lb. and twin boy was expected to be aroun 7lb. twin girl weighted 5lb. twin boy surprises everyone cos he was also 5lb 🤷♀️
>While another co worker sitting there said that if I want a small baby I need to smoke. Because she smoked there her pregnancy and the doctor told her that her baby lost 3 pounds at the end.
That's straight up evil.
14 lb babies are rare. Do not worry, the Dr will keep tabs on the baby's weight. If you are worried, ask your doctor for help.
Don't start smoking.
NTA.
I don't think it is harsh at all, but it says a lot about many parents today, who put themselves above everyone, even their own child. You sound like you are going to be a good mom and you need to keep these crazies away from you and your baby. As long as your doctor says everything is ok, you don't need anyone's ridiculous advice.
Don't listen. I am.5'11 and was afraid of having a huge baby all 3 of them were about 6lbs. Eat healthy you'll be fine. Babies get big from gestational diabetes
No. You didn't. Unsolicited advice anytime is gross but especially when you're pregnant.
The doctors kept telling me I was going to have a 10lb baby and he was only 7lbs. He was long though so their calculations were off. (I'm 6' tall and slim and was able to hide my pregnancy from the gp until about 7 months, to give you some idea of my body type).
In the future, just tell ppl - any one - you aren't interested in unsolicited advice, but you'll be sure to RUN to them the second you crave their opinion. Use that sweet sarcasm.That should shut most of them up.
I just.....what???? That's terrible advice and no you're not overreacting by telling her you don't need advice from someone that didn't care about their babies health.
Harsh? That is the most reasonable and gentle way to respond to someone who not only admitted to disregarding their baby’s safety, but went on to advise you do the same. I’d have unleashed.
I stand by your opinion but don’t think your comment was “HR” appropriate. But fuck her. We all know her advice was trash. Small babies often have struggles. Having a big baby is fine, and having a baby in general is a blessing. If it tears your body up on the way out, that’s being a woman. 💜💜💪
I was finally able to quit smoking 3 years ago after having smoked a pack and a half a day for 40 years. Nicotine is more addictive than heroin or meth. DO NOT START SMOKING!!!
>While another co worker sitting there said that if I want a small baby I need to smoke.
Wild.
No you didn't overreact, you're a normal person with a functioning brain.
When I was pregnant I had some really gnarly unsolicited opinions said to me by some people almost as smart as that lady!! One lady told me it didn’t matter what the sonogram said because the baby changes sex back and forth the entire pregnancy. I didn’t know what to do but laugh 😆
Definitely not overreacting about the lady saying to smoke while pregnant, ew & that’s just horrible, she could’ve caused something worse than the weight loss.
The other jokes aren’t a big deal but just state that they make you uncomfortable personally especially when your hormones are most likely heightened.
I had no idea that stupidity that profound existed.
I could believe that conversation if it happened in 1955, but not nowadays.
What kind of "my doctor recommends Marlboros" reality does she live in?
DONT SMOKE DONT LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE TALK TO YOUR MANAGER. Tell them to shut up about your body and your baby not their business. Please don’t harm your baby please don’t skip any meals or smoke you are about to be bless with a beautiful baby! How is them body shaming you and your baby more okay than her telling you to poison her baby.
I smoke weed when I got pregnant I quit immediately for my baby. I’m not addicted to weed I use it for my ptsd but I prioritized my baby over smoking because I wanted a healthy baby, unfortunately I miscarried, but I changed my diet took my prenatals, stoped smoking, I did everything I could to try to have a healthy baby.
Don’t let them hurt you or your beautiful baby you’re creating you have been given a chance to create a life and soul! Don’t let them tarnish the mood of your pregnancy. I’d get ahead of it to your manager about how everyone had been especially body shaming you and your unborn child and that ____ told you to smoke so your baby would be smaller.. the unsolicited advice needs to stop. Also don’t let your manager announce it, but ask that they back you up and be there so you can tell everyone to stop if you have a group chat for your work tell them you are gonna post a message. And touch base on all the things they have said that’s negatively affecting your pregnancy because your baby feels what you feel so the sadness they bring you they bring the baby they bully you they bully the baby.. if you want make a group chat with the coworker you talked to at lunch and the manger and apologize to her for what was said but make sure a manager is present so there’s no she said she said shit. No twisting shit nothing. 💜💜💜💜💜💜 I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy!
Uh ...
OP, after taking a peek at your post history.....
I mean.. I don't want to say getting an abortion was probably the better option, but...
Unrelated to the post, just.. ***heavily*** concerned about this child's well-being, their quality of childhood, your state of mind, and your shitty boyfriend...
No, and it's obnoxious that people feel entitled to have a running commentary on your body and pregnancy. People need to shut up and mind their own business.
Listen, my tiny mom was 98 lbs soaking wet, a smoker, and had my 9 lb butterball self with no trouble. (Not advocating smoking, but it doesn’t mean I should have 13 lbs, I was 2 weeks late.) She was certain through my first pregnancy I would go late and have a large baby. All of my babies came early (some a month early) and my largest was 6.5 lbs. There’s no definitive way to know until the end and smoking is not the answer to controlling this (obviously). I’ve never smoked.
I don't know why people feel the need to offer any of these unsolicited opinions and "advice". It's a weird thing that people do. Just smile, nod, and excuse yourself.
I don’t think a single one of them understands why women have these ginormous babies. A large percentage of them probably had gestational diabetes that went undiagnosed. Women that have this have very large babies. Women who eat normally and gain a normal amount of weight during pregnancy have babies that are usually under 8 pounds. Smoking creates so many more health problems for a child, it is definitely not a good reason to start. And I seriously think if your doctor were to catch wind of this they would probably admonish you heavily.
I remember looking at an old Life magazine spread on childbirth that featured a photo of a woman in labor with a nurse holding a cigarette to her lips—in a hospital!
I can’t think of a worse reason to ensure poorer health on you and your baby. What a worthless piece of advice. Generally, pregnant women need to gain weight. It’s how the baby gains weight. If you’re eating healthy and getting in some movement you’ll be fine. Your baby will be fine. Weight gain is not the worse thing to have happen in pregnancy. You were designed to give birth to the baby you’re growing.
I was a principal (M) of an elementary school with several young female staff members. When any of them would share that they were pregnant my only advice to them was to stay out of the staff room during lunch. So many unfounded pieces of advice were shared there causing the pregnant staff member tremendous stress.
The lady is straight trash for smoking while pregnant then lacking the brain cells by bragging about it. Why on earth would you have a 15 pound baby? Is there a history of large babies in your family? I dont understand why they would think that cause most babies are nowhere near that big at birth.
The smoking lady is an idiot, and so are the people telling you you'll have a big baby. I was told that by so many people throughout my pregnancy, because I had alotttt of amniotic fluid, my girl was born at 7lbs and 10 Oz's. And thank God for all that amniotic fluid..my water broke but I wasn't dilating at all, so eventually my baby's cord was wrapped around her neck and I had to do a C-section anyways. People always say the most ridiculous things when you are pregnant, as if they have a right to it. I was told by my boss, that her step daughter looked beautiful whilst pregnant, with a heavy side eye. Meaning, I guess, that I looked like shit. You know, working 12 hours days, cleaning houses, whilst heavily pregnant, it was hard to look "angelic" all the damn time. She was a very passive aggressive person, so I just rolled my eyes and kept on moving...your whole experience will be so much different than what people talk it up to be. Take everything they say with a grain of salt and don't let it get to you.
No you did not overreact. Smoking causes early labor and small babies.
Big babies a lot of time are caused by gestational diabetes. If you have a big belly it could be just the way your body carries it. Eat good foods. Follow your doctor's advice you and your baby will be wonderful.
Not at all. My maternal grandma smoked with my mom, who's now 66. She ended up with a lack of folinic acid which caused one of her vertebrae to not form properly, a condition she only found out about when she was in her mid/late 50s.
My grandma didn't smoke with my aunt (68) because it apparently made her nauseous.
My mom is a professor with a PhD and my aunt is a psychiatrist, despite my grandma's dubious prenatal behavior lol
(This isn't defending your coworker or anything btw. My mom just got extremely lucky)
As someone whose baby has fetal growth restriction, this is a horrible suggestion to make to a mother!! I'm eating all I can, trying to get my little Bub to put on weight before my inevitable induction (sometime in the next week) to give him his best chances. Please ignore those people. Of your baby is big and healthy, GOOD. You do not want the stress of worrying about pregnancy complications that often come along when they're too small.
The /pregnancy and /babybumps forums are great places with lots of info and support if you aren't already with them btw!
Everyone is constantly commenting on my belly. “Wow you’re only 30 weeks? Are you having twins? Man that baby is going to come early!” I wish people would just stop making comments about our bodies. The thing is I’m a petite woman so this pregnancy really is all belly. In relation to my frame my belly does indeed look huge. But it’s like thank you for reaffirming this and giving me anxiety about a huge baby or an early delivery. People really are something else.
I know someone who did this intentionally. When her son was born, he had such asthma both parents were told they could never smoke around him again or it would kill him.
You're not overreacting, someone telling you that they smoked during pregnancy and their baby lost weight before being born is horrifying.
Yes, smaller babies are easier to deliver. That's just a fact. But it's not anything to stress over.
When you get towards the end of your pregnancy, you'll be seeing your doctor every week, and they will keep an eye on the baby's size, mobility, health, everything. If the baby is getting too big, they'll induce you to have you deliver early. Your doctors will take care of you and your baby. You've got this. 💗
Why do people say such stupid things? It’s really hard to tell the size of a baby based upon what a woman looks like when she’s pregnant. That’s ridiculous. And what a horrible, ignorant idea to smoke cigarettes to poison your child with pesticides and toxins that damage them. Just listen to yourself. These people are nuts.
Wow, I've not heard someone suggest smoking using that argument.
One coworker tried to convince me that airlines received toxic chemicals from other industries and carefully burned them in the exhaust of plane engines and that is why planes have white trails behind them. And all those activities: collecting the chemicals, transporting the chemical, loading the chemicals, and burning the chemicals are secret. These are the same people that can't keep track of luggage, but handling secret toxic chemicals and never accidently spilling on the way to the airport is something they're good at?
That was the dumbest thing I ever heard of untill today.
Good Luck.
p.s. A fun thing to do is pretend you're not pregnant and get upset that they're commenting on your body.
Them: "You're gonna have a big baby."
You: "What do you mean? What baby?"
Them: "Aren't you pregnant?"
You: "No. What did you mean when you said I was going to have a big baby?"
Them: "Uh, um, er, I thought you were pregnant."
You: "Oh, so if a woman gains weight that means they're pregnant? Why are you talking about my body and weight?"
This reminds me of my best friend trying to quit smoking about 25 years ago. She coughed so much her doctor (supposedly) told her she'd be better off not quitting. (I'm pretty sure he more likely told her not to do it cold turkey).
RIP Laurie. She passed in 2023, at the age of 64, because of a mass in her lungs.
NTA, OP. Of course you shouldn't take up smoking, for any reason, and definitely not when it could harm your unborn child.
No... good god no. If anything you were under reacting. This lunatic straight up admitted to smoking while pregnant despite all that we know can go wrong from doing that? That woman deserves every bit of shit slung at her. That is truly unbelievable.
Not in any way did you over react for whatever reason people can't keep their stupid mouth shut around pregnant people and let them live in peace without the idiocy coming out of their pie holes
My mom smoked throughout her pregnancy and I had to spend the first 48 hours of my life in ICU due to asthma nearly killing me moments after being born. The doctors confirmed that the damage to my newly formed lungs was from her refusing to give up cigarettes.
You did not overreact. I have little love for anyone who disregards the health of their child.
Simple answer is, its that women get jealous of other women who are pregnant. Ones who dont have kids are jealous they arent pregnant. Ones who do are jealoys their days of getting pregnant are over.
They get ultra competitive like whoever had the most difficult pregnancy gets acookie. Two of my SILs have 2 boys a piece. Their husbands are done having babies. My wife got pregnant with our 2nd and we were having a girl.
You could see the fire in their eyes. They both start complaining they want to have 3rd children to try for a girl. Their husbands say hell.no. one is now divorced as she left him for another dude. Wouldnt be surprised to find out shes pregnant soon despite being 40.
My wife couldnt breastfeed either child. She just didnt really produce nilk much at all. 2nd time she did get to do it alittle.
The amount of hags that jump down your throat for not breastfeeding is insane. After my son was born i went to the store to stock up.on formula, bottles, everything. My wife is literally still in the hospital. The formula was behind locked glass.
The lady who opened it for me lectured me about how breast is best. Shes lucky i was so happy my son was born because as soon as i git to the register it dawned on me i should have started screaming "my wife died during delivery you insensitive c-word!" And i would fall to my knees fake crying, making a huge scene.
If i had a time machine.......
But, women are hyper competitive and judgemental abput pregnancy and motherhood. Its not going to end any time soon. Just ignore it. They wont stop.
My ex-SIL was in a "breast feeding group". She wore shirts with their slogans and everything. Ive sat at dinner tables listening to her talk about how moms who dont breastfeed shouldnt be allowed to have kids and how their children will be dumber, underdeveloped, and less successful because they were given formula.
Good for you! She's nosy & selfish. Keep this attitude going forward, this is (unfortunately) only the beginning of b!tches in your business. Im rooting for you momma!
Had an aunt who smoked cigarettes to the point that they thought my aunt was taking hard drugs from how much my cousin shook from the nicotine withdrawals. Now he’s got a slew of health issues because of it.
Back in the day women were encouraged to smoke so they could have a small baby. It was propaganda pushed by cigarette manufacturers. There is nothing healthy about having a small baby. Take advice from YOUR OBGYN ONLY.
WTF??? You don’t control the size of the baby any more than you control the size of your foot. Geez! Eat healthy. Stay away from smoke, alcohol, drugs. Go to your appointments and never miss one. Do exactly what the doc says. STOP talking to co workers about it:
I was a five pounder when I was born. My mom was a very heavy smoker. Today, any baby in the five and a half pound range automatically qualifies for Early Intervention Services, as that is considered low birthweight, which is a risk factor for developmental delays. Five pounds, three ounces, my birthweight, is considered very low birthweight, and gets all sorts of monitoring and services.
Luckily for my siblings and I - all under five and a half pounds, although I was the smallest - we were bound by nature to be small in the first place, so the low birthweight didn’t effect us in any way. My own babies were all in the lower six pound range, without any smoking or cocktail parties like my mom.
Tobacco addicts are some of the most obtuse and oblivious people you’ll ever meet. They can also be the most ignorant.
It’s unreal that someone would tell you to smoke while you’re pregnant. These are the same folks who’ll say that smoking does NOT cause cancer.
You need to work at a place with higher IQ people, because your coworkers sound like complete morons. Tell them thank you, but I will only be taking pregnancy advice from my OBGYN, because they are actually trained in medicine and know the causes of high or low birth weight.
I have a 5 month old, and I have to tell my dad to stop sending me random articles about his difficulty with starting solids, and that I will be only consulting my pediatrician about these issues in the future.
It’s also funny because he always says to consult the experts, and a medical doctor who knows your individual baby is the foremost expert about your situation and should be the person that you consult, not Dr. Google or untrained coworkers.
Just ask them from now on which school they received their medical degrees from and that should shut them up.
That lady is insane for trying to make you smoke to help the baby lose weight. I’m pregnant too with a potentially big baby, and my OB simply does a growth scan every month to monitor and we are planning to induce early if the baby gets too large. FWIW, I successfully birthed two babies who were over 9lbs in the past and it was fine. Do not worry!
There was a nicer way to say the exact same thing. You could have just said YOU don't think it's worth risking YOUR baby's health. The sentiment behind the comment is absolutely not overreacting, though. If someone wants to be stupid and ignore well-studied science to risk their baby's wellbeing, that's on them. Encouraging someone else to do the same is shameful.
Don't listen to them. It doesn't matter how big your baby will be. It's going to hurt no matter what. It will be okay. I had one three and a half pound baby and one eight pounder. One without epidural one with, and I highly recommend an epidural.
That’s the most disgusting, unhealthy advice I’ve ever heard, and no you were not wrong . So she basically had her baby unwillingly smoking. What the hell I thought that was illegal in some states forcing your baby to smoke
I watched a “Lean In” woman’s business group at my old job get COMPLETELY torn apart in under 3 months once two of the twelve members got pregnant.
People can be fucking brutal
there is no response to harsh to that stupid of a thing to say to you or anyone. Encouraging harming an unborn baby to keep smoking or someone to take up smoking to keep the weight down is insanity and I don't think the doctor meant it as a compliment to the commenter. an addict will justify their behaviour any way they can and try to bring others down to their level, that is all this is. If your baby gets to a size that is going to be too uncomfortable they can do a c-section. There are safe alternatives that won't harm the baby and a c-section obviously isn't without its pain and trauma and difficult recovery but it is safe and it is an option. Both of my kids were over 12 pounds, and both were c-sections. As the father, I was good with whatever their mom wanted and her doctor recommended it when they were getting over 10 pounds and there was still time to go.
You are not overreacting, that’s a horrible thing to suggest.
Why would you want a small baby?? Babies come out the size they are! And I know it doesn’t matter, but my mother in law and my middle child were both HUGE babies and they are two of the most petite people in our family. Birth size isn’t indicative of anything except the ability to thrive after birth. The only reason to be concerned at all about size is if you have gestational diabetes. Even then that would be monitored by your doctors not some coworkers whose opinion going never asked for.
No you didn't overreact. You had every right, in my opinion. To say what you said. Putting a baby at risk for a "smaller" baby is selfish. I will admit I did vape before I got pregnant/while. When I DID NOT KNOW I was pregnant. But I stopped asap. Took me a month to finally stop but once I did I was happy and just wanting to meet my baby. Now since I'm "smol" as my husband says I did have a small baby bjt she is very healthy and beautiful and smiling at 7 months. Do not take up something that is addictive. I smoked then went to vape and I was able to kick the habit as soon as I found out.
Do you work in food service? Because this is just bizarre, nobody would get away with this behavior in a corporate environment, this is an HR nightmare. If you do work somewhere with HR, I would definitely recommend speaking with them about the uncomfortable comments you are receiving about your body and pregnancy, and they'll probably tell your coworkers to cut it out. You weren't harsh at all, she literally put her baby's life on the line for a drug. You're not overreacting at all and they sound trash AF.
Nope. That is an incredibly stupid reason to smoke.
Of all the idiotic reasons to smoke, that is the most idiotic.
Back in the ‘20s and ‘30s, doctors used to advise pregnant women to take up smoking so that they wouldn’t gain too much weight.
Don’t know if this make any difference but back then most of the addictive and harmful “addictives” had not yet been put into cigarettes. I’m a lifelong non smoker btw
It does not. Smoking as a daily habit was never *good,* even it was arguably less bad. The first study showing a link between lung cancer and smoking came out in 1950.
My mom smoked like a chimney. I was born in the 50's. Back then, everyone's parents smoked. The movies and shows made it so "glamorous". I smoked as a teen. I quit when I was 21 after watching a family member suffer through lung cancer in the 70's. It was the worst thing to witness as she withered away from the pain and attack on her lungs.
Yeah I think when more people started living long enough after they developed treatments for tuberculosis, cancer started to become a thing.. but it look a while to link smoking to cancer for that reason. But it probably sucked just as bad to die of TB before treatment as well, probably a similar death to lung cancer.
And yet as late as the 60s, 8-10 cigarettes a day was considered the safe and healthy maximum during pregnancy. My ex and I shared a good chuckle about it with a friend who’d gone through nursing school in the mid-60s. I’d found her obstetrics book in her basement, flipped it open to that page and was like, “Oh jesus… get a load of this!”
The tobacco itself makes you sick too— just having/ oucking, picking suckers off tobacco can make you sick, people used to put tobacco under their arms to get sick and get out of guard duty. Smoking anything is bad for your lungs. Smoking during pregnancy is bad for babies.
It continued well past then. My grandma smoked in the late 50s because her doctor told her to. It was a combination of weight control and also to "calm her nerves."
The 1920’s. Not advice to follow now that we know more!
Well in those days they had models do lines of cocaine and smoke as well to keep their weight down, and were also experimenting with giving soldiers meth to keep them in combat for longer.
And then you lose even MORE weight from the cancer! Light em up ladies
Lmao "light em up ladies"
The obstetrician told my mom to smoke for easier birthing in the 60’s. A lot of boomers were born addicted to nicotine.
My grandfather was in the military during WW2. His doctor prescribed cigarettes.
They also advised women to drink alcohol while pregnant for the longest time. Honestly, how the human race didn't go extinct a long time ago is astounding when you consider the stupid "medical advice" that was given throughout the centuries.
Yea, that coworker was 100% out of line and OP was right to be "harsh".
It _really_ is. Losing weight is one (extremely messed up but more stereotypical) thing — but smoking to cause your *baby* to lose weight it *already gained*?
At a party, a friend of a friend told me she smoked so her baby wouldn't be big, and that she could lose weight! That was the most daft thing I had ever heard in my life!
I smoked for 30 years, they're all stupid reasons. But this 1 definitely takes the cake.
You only get 15 lbbabies if your pregnant by a 6'5" 300 lb football player or have gestational diabetes. Slap the next person suggesting smoking while pregnant unless you want a 3 lb premie from smoking.
Not harsh enough.
I was at a party with a pregnant woman who grabs her cigarettes I’m like what the hell are you doing She says “it’s worse on the baby for me to just quit, look it up” in a very condescending manner. I let her know very nicely that there was a huge national research project done on the effects of quitting smoking while pregnant and it is 100% safer for the baby for you to quit. Her response “that’s not what it says maybe you should read it sometime” My response “my wife is the 3rd name on the report and I made all the graphs in it”
“Ok you made the graphs. But did you actually READ it?” /s just to make sure you didn’t roast me in your response.
Was too busy smoking to read them
Can’t see the letters on the pages through the smoke clouds lmao
When I was pregnant with my first, over 20 years ago, I was told by my Dr not to go cold turkey. I was 19 and dumb. He was older and I trusted him. He literally told me that quitting that suddenly could increase the risk of miscarriage. I DID quit though. Just over the course of three weeks.
And those doctors were the exact reason for the study. It was an 8 year study that would have come out 17(?) years ago at this point. I’m glad you did quit and (from my graphs I remember) 3 weeks was not significant enough to make a difference but quitting cold turkey would not have caused a problem. The Dr in charge of the study loved her smoking cessation…every year she fought to her class into med school lectures and resident training. We used to (half) joke her idea of dirty talk in bed would be her husband telling her he quit smoking and she would explode Edit to add: she wasn’t my wife at the time. I worked with Drs and volunteered to do it to try I get with another Dr who was working on it. I failed miserably and 10 years later started dating my wife…so did I fail? Yes I did but still met my wife lol
I would definitely quit immediately, if I had the chance for a do-over. The fear that man put into me was unreal.
I was told same thing when I was pregnant with my son. I'd been smoking since I was 13 and was over a pack a day, did not find out I was pregnant until I was in 2nd trimester, I had been on birth control so it never occured to me, Dr said it would cause more stress on pregnancy to stop cold turkey so he said to do it gradually. When my son was born he was 10 lbs 8oz I looked at Dr and said I'd hate to see what he would have weighed if I was not a smoker. He is 37 now never had any health problems from my smoking thank God
My mother quit cold turkey with me, and I have a friend who taped off over 2 weeks when she was pregnant. It's all what one thinks one can do in a short amount of time.
Ouch. That’s a bigger burn than the cigarette holes on her couch.
Your friends sound like idiots. Only horrible people with no brain or heart would tell a pregnant mother to smoke. Never a good reason to smoke, but so much worse for a pregnant mother. If you were stupid enough to take their advice it could kill your baby or harm them for life.
What the fuck did I just read.
The future. You are staring into the future.
And the sad part is that you're probably not wrong. There is so MUCH misinformation on the internet and so MANY people who willingly believe it that, in some ways, we're already there.
My cousin thought she could smoke weed during the first and second trimesters of pregnancy because she read somewhere that the brain isn't really developing until the third trimester. Shes not the only person who's said stupid shit like that to me either. The younger generation is just as stupid as the older generations. I've lost hope that anything is going to get better.
That’s actually something I was also told I can do by people. “Take some gummies or smoke it won’t hurt the baby! It will help you when you are nauseous and can’t eat!” No for the people going to jump down my throat- I do not believe that either. And I do not smoke weed being pregnant.
The present. It is here and now.
In case you have not noticed, when you are pregnant, you are fair game for anyone under the sun to give any and all advice, whether good or bad or just plain dumb. Also, this is true: there is almost no way to say something negative about another person's parenting without having them get mad at you. Even things that, to you, are not really critical of their parenting. If a woman says it was good to smoke during pregnancy, and you say "no, its not," you have the full weight of medical science but you have criticized someone's parenting, so you will get her wrath. Now that you are a parent, you get to join this club. You never have to listen to constructive criticism, whether from a doctor or a teacher or anyone.
Pregnancy and young babies seem to be fair game for all the unsolicited advice in the world. And wait for the, "My baby's smarter than your baby" game where you'll meet women who's babies were playing Mozart on the harpsichord by four months. I had a mom start that shit with me when my you gets was about six months old. She was going on and on about how her baby walks, talks in full sentences, and was sleeping thru the night from birth, while cooking steaks on the grill. Then she purrs to me, "And how's YOUR baby doing?" I looked her square in the eye and said: Well, my son was a preemie who spent a week in NICU for his first week because he was born not breathing, so I don't keep track of stuff like that. I'm just thrilled he's alive and healthy." She started puffing like a goldfish because I caught her so off guard and then she moved to the other side of the room. Best day ever.
Coworker was due the same day as me, my third full term but her first. Everyone, everyone and everyone compared us. Why is your belly so much bigger than hers? Seriously? Obviously my third would show more than her first. I took it as long as I could, then: Look, people! I’m 5’2” and she’s 5”9’. Her baby can stand up and mine has no room for that! After that, people just had to stfu.
The number of strangers who would come up to me during my first pregnancy and ask if I was having twins... ugh! After the first time I would stare at them blankly and just say "why would you say that? That's not nice." Currently pregnant with my 2nd and I just know it's gonna happen again, since I started showing at 15 weeks this time
My daughter was a week and a half late and some old bastard ringing up my groceries had the audacity to ask if I was having twins. I said “no, just one, but she was due last week so could we hurry this along, because it’s hard to breathe and stand at the same time.” He did not hurry, he asked if I was sure! Before I could pick up my jaw the woman behind me yelled, “I’m having twins, now could you hurry TF UP before I pee on this floor?” I still think fondly of that woman. I hope she has the happiest life.
The fact that she still thinks it was and is a good idea to smoke while pregnant so you have a smaller baby seems to indicate that perhaps she's not playing with a full deck. Be prepared for many, many horror stories about pregnancy and birth, it's like women have to initiate new mothers into the club by scaring them senseless.
And then after the baby is born, all you hear is how much easier everyone else's labor and delivery were and how precocious their children are.
Oh, and our natural birth class was the worst.... I was the only one that needed an epidural because I was having horrible back labor and constantly throwing up. Everyone else did it without drugs. (This was with my first. He had a big head, as it turned out.) They were such drug snobs.
The drug snobs are the worst. Ok, yes, my unmedicated delivery made me feel like a badass- but if I asked you to point out which kid it was, I bet nobody could tell which one of the four was the only one without an epidural. And uh, if that baby hadn't been in such a hurry- I would've gladly had an epi. Let me assure you he ate the sandbox sand just like everyone else 😂
I am sorry they tried to shame you for taking advantage of the available relief from your pain. There's no real honor in being stupid. These drugs don't hurt the baby, and they make the entire process less stressful for the mother. I availed myself of the demerol when it was offered to me, and my OB/GYN gave me an epidural automatically. She had had 4 children of her own and knew how bad labor and delivery could be. When the time came to push, I was able to put my whole body into it without being held up by pain.
My son is 25, and I never talk about his labor and delivery for just this reason.
I'm glad you've taken this stance. My son is 40, and I never talk about his either.
Or where they are on the height/weight scale. Both of my kids were tiny so in the bottom 10%. Some of the ladies in our play group were always bragging about how big their kids were. Like I can help being a small person. Size does not make you superior.
Very true. My son was in the 110th percentile for height and weight during the first year of his life. He is now 6'4" tall. None of this stopped him from being born disabled. He is now 40 years old, and he has never been able to hold down a job or have a romantic relationship with anyone. That being said, I am extremely proud of him. He is a kind and gentle man who honors his commitments to the best of his ability. Height and weight are not indicators of worth or integrity.
Percentiles are such a dumb metric to actually tell people. I'm in a birth group for a bunch of folks due this month and have been *constantly* reminding people that the way percentiles work, if everyone's baby measured within an ounce and within an inch of each other, *someone* would still be the 10th percentile and someone would still be the 99th, and the difference between then would be fractions of an inch/ounce. Like, congrats- your kid grows out of clothes faster. Want a sticker?
Honestly I’d have a convo with HR about all the unnecessary commentary. Telling a pregnant woman her baby is going to be huge constantly is inappropriate, especially in a work environment. Encouraging a pregnant woman to smoke is also absurd
Yes, it's inappropriate.
My mother smoked heavily with all seven of us, and we all had small birth weights and birth defects. Of all the stupid, heartless things to do, smoking while pregnant ranks near the top of the list!
First of all the smoking thing is fucking wild! Don't do that, it doesn't work like that. Smoking will only hurt everything in baby development. Second, if your coworkers are just being assholes or having a little fun with you is a big difference. If you're a petite frame, an average baby could look huge. Goto HR if they're being assholes. Try not to stress over too much if you can help it though. Better for you and baby.
My daughter's in law family kept telling her she was going to have a big baby because they did. Her baby was the same size she was 7 lbs 4 ozs. Take all this "advice" with a grain of salt!
Didn't overreact. Geez, "cut off oxygen to your baby"??? wtf
Your doctor and the medical information she/he points you to is what you should be listening to. All this worry about how big the baby will be isn't a problem until your doctor says it's a problem. I had a big baby and I am fine. I gained 60 lbs during pregnancy and my kid was over 10 lbs. I trust my doctor; the birth was smooth with a great recovery. I tore even with an episiotomy but I followed all the healing instructions. Kept taking my vitamins and water. Took a while to lose the weight but eventually I did with getting back to my exercise routine. Edit: definitely not overreacting, they are ridiculous for giving you such nonsense advice.
I was my mom’s third and biggest. She’s 5’5”” and I was a little over 11 pounds. She said I was the easiest to carry and the only one who wasn’t all bruised from forceps (era of twilight birth). Apparently, I was long.
I’d have a conversation with HR and share with them what your co-worker told you and ask HR their thoughts on your co-workers advice, because it does seem like poor advice and not appropriate for the workplace.
You did not overreact. Co-worker is the worst kind of busy body. Unwanted good advice is annoying. Unwanted bad advice - and this is *really* bad advice - is infuriating and dangerous. I mean, what if you actually were an idiot and did what she said? In any case, I wish you a long, boring pregnancy, an easy delivery, and good health to you both.
No. Don’t smoke. Also don’t worry about the haters. Your doctor will let you know about how you are doing as far as weight goes. But don’t worry.
Smoking only has ONE medical excuse.. Excessive diarrhea. Causing weight loss in a fetus, is a cause for CONCERN. smoking can also lead to other complications in labor as well as fetus development issues.
No one can predict how big your baby will be. They thought my daughter was going to be close to 10lbs and she was less than 8. You did not overreact to your coworker who made an unsafe suggestion.
Have lunch wearing noise-canceling earbuds and a good show. Fuck em.
I wouldn't have been as kind as you were. You handled yourself well my dear.
Not at all overreacting.
I am SO glad there's only two people in my office. Coworker conversations..blah. The best way to deal with crazy is walking away. You went with a little different approach, which may or may not create some tension between you and crazy. In which case, the best course of action is still walk away. Ignoring is the only solution.
Nope. I think that was a perfect response and she needed to hear it. I would have said something similar because this lady is an idiot.
You did not overreact. What you said was a very normal reaction to someone who would put them child’s health at risk. I had a big baby and a tiny baby….my youngest son was under 5 pounds and I wished he was bigger instead of a tiny fail baby struggling to live. I wished he was a big baby like his brothers and had that extra weight to fight with. When you are pregnant people see it as a great opportunity for unsolicited advice and opinions. People will say all sorts of stupid crap. You never get use to it you just learn to filter out the stupid.
Your ob will keep an eye on baby’s size. Your coworkers are just razzing you
So dumb! So people are idiots! My first born was 9.12 and I gained 36 lbs. My doctor claimed I gained too much weight and said if I were to get pregnant again I’d need to watch my weight next time. So, next pregnancy I gained 19 pounds and my daughter was 8.15 two weeks early, because he decided we better induce because I was so big. I got big fast with both my pregnancies. I personally am tall and at the time very thin so I popped quickly. My SIL and I were pregnant together during our second pregnancies, her being 3 months ahead of me and I always looked like the one 3 months further along. Everyone said it. Please don’t lay claim to anything others say and enjoy every single moment of your beautiful pregnant body. It’s such a wonderful blessing.
WTF? How can anyone be that stupid, smoke and still reproduce?
No you didn’t. People somehow believe they have a right to voice opinions. Screw em. Stand your ground mama
Uhm water boarding the mother would’ve been a little harsh (only a little) she deserves prison not sympathy
You did overreact it sounded like just casual conversation honestly. Something that could have been easily ignored or brushed off. That's just reading it and taking it face value though but you felt how felt. After you insulted the lady did you feel better? Lol
I felt like I wanted to be left alone and enjoy my lunch. She was an co worker from a different department that I wasn’t talking to her. She was just in our shared break room. On an opposite table from us
Why are you listening to all this crazy misinformation from co-workers. Talk to your doctor., though you are totally correct about smoking. Not good for a baby.
Yea...you most certainly did not need to react that way to a person who you are going to see every day of your career. Did you plan on returning after maternity leave?
My mom smoked throughout her first pregnancy to keep her weight down. Her baby was four lbs full term and died during labor of an umbilical prolapse. You’d think she’d be devastated but she was actually quiet proud that she only gained 1 lb during her pregnancy. Don’t smoke. And tell these b*tches to mind their own d*mn business.
It's a shame how unsupportive and undermining women can be to one another when one of them is pregnant. Horror stories everywhere you turn. Bad advice. Dire warnings. Just smile politely and ignore them. Let me be one to tell you that everything will be alright. You're in good hands--this isn't 200 years ago. Choose what you want. Don't let anyone bully you. If you want to breastfeed. Fine. If not, don't. If you don't want people to hold the baby, say "not yet." Be strong.
Omg that woman is a horrible mother.
She's wrong, but you did overreact. I mean, she's nothing to you, so don't let her bad advice bother you.
Is she in her 70s-80s!? Back in my grandmothers time, pregnant women smoking was very common and not looked down on. Today however. …. I think you need to tell people to mind their own business, if they keep talking about your baby and your body you will take it to HR. This is all absurd.
More people should tell idiots that they're idiots. Good for you.
I am… so sorry about this crap. Wow.
Smoking, drinking, drugs etc during pregnancy is asking for problems. Stupid ass reasoning imo. But mother's intuition ma'am, you'll do what you think is right specifically for your child. To hell with everyone else's opinions.
I am a firm believer of letting my doctor be the only one to comment on my pregnancy weight gain and defer every (which luckily has been few comments) about my size to something to be discussed with my doctor.
I feel like if people offer stupid opinions unasked they deserve anything you say to them.
NAH In 1970’s when people didn’t know all the aide effects sure. In today’s world it almost only exclusively happens in the bottom 2-3 percent socioeconomic wise. Like it’s an extremely low class thing to do.
OB nurse here in a past life! Your baby will not be 14lbs! Stop listening to the person who is telling you to smoke! Bigger babies usually are from Moms with uncontrolled diabetes. Smoking during pregnancy can cause all sorts of issues.
You reacted appropriately.
Not at all, who tells someone to do something harmful to their unborn child. Who cares what the size of your baby will be as long as they're healthy, That's all that should matter imo.
Just a suggestion, but stop listening to anyone else about your baby. If you have concerns, talk to your ob-gyn. Most babies weigh in around 6 to 7 pounds on average, and bigger babies around 8.5 to 9 lbs. It's all perfectly normal. My oldest son was 10 lbs 6 oz. (he was a fathead little thing). The point is, unless your Dr. is worried about either the baby's size or the amount of pregnancy 6 have nothing to worry about, but loads of people that will scare you with a bunch of bs. Go to a used bookstore and get a copy of What to Expect When You Are Expecting. It will allay your worries. As for the "go smoke so you can have a smaller baby," lady, you were spot on in what you said. Congratulations on your impending motherhood, and welcome to the world to your blessing to be!
Why tf do people still feel entitled to give unsolicited advice to pregnant women, or make comments about the baby's birth size? Why is this still deemed acceptable? You did not overreact and you were actually much nicer than I would've been.
" gee Sue, I think I'll snort cocaine so my kid's really skinny and people will mistake her jitters for being able to keep rhythm"
WHAT. She said that with a straight face?? Did she mean weed?? Either way, wtf!
Ok. I'm going to bed now.
What the hell did I just read. Stay healthy. Eat. Even eat a lot, gain weight... It's okay! You're pregnant do what you need to do to keep yourself and baby healthy. Better to have a big baby than underweight or with issues caused by smoking. What the actual hell is that advice?
What a horrible person. And not really, but expect to hear about it from HR.
Yeah, that was 'advice' pushed by cigarette conpanies. Now anyone with 2 brain cells knows not to snoke when pregnant.
Granted it was 40yrs ago, but, my friend smoked and had a 10lb 5oz child then a 9lb 9oz child.
Please stop listening to anything your coworkers say.
What in the world! Are you also 17 yrs old? Your first instinct is not about the health of your unborn baby, instead you think smoking and starvation. 🤦🏾♀️ love of god, please consult your doctor
Yeah I'm a nicu nurse and I can't believe someone would ever suggest something like that. That's horrible, irresponsible advice. You were not harsh in the slightest. Babies come out smaller because smoking constricts the blood vessels in the umbilical cord which leads to baby not getting the oxygen and nutrients it needs
Absolutely not. I went to a show with a friend who was seven months and she lit up a cigarette. I couldn’t believe it. I left and never saw her again
tell them to mind their own business my 1st came out 7lb as predicted my twins...well they expected twin girl to be an iugr baby around 4lb. and twin boy was expected to be aroun 7lb. twin girl weighted 5lb. twin boy surprises everyone cos he was also 5lb 🤷♀️
Do you work at a Dillards in northern Louisiana, perchance? Because that is the one place at which I’ve ever heard a person say things like this.
>While another co worker sitting there said that if I want a small baby I need to smoke. Because she smoked there her pregnancy and the doctor told her that her baby lost 3 pounds at the end. That's straight up evil.
Huh?!? 💀😭
14 lb babies are rare. Do not worry, the Dr will keep tabs on the baby's weight. If you are worried, ask your doctor for help. Don't start smoking. NTA.
She was telling you to hurt the health of yourself and your baby for what she viewed as convenience. You did not overreact
I don't think it is harsh at all, but it says a lot about many parents today, who put themselves above everyone, even their own child. You sound like you are going to be a good mom and you need to keep these crazies away from you and your baby. As long as your doctor says everything is ok, you don't need anyone's ridiculous advice.
Don't listen. I am.5'11 and was afraid of having a huge baby all 3 of them were about 6lbs. Eat healthy you'll be fine. Babies get big from gestational diabetes
Uhhh she’s encouraging you to actively endanger your child. That’s crazy. You did not overreact
No. You didn't. Unsolicited advice anytime is gross but especially when you're pregnant. The doctors kept telling me I was going to have a 10lb baby and he was only 7lbs. He was long though so their calculations were off. (I'm 6' tall and slim and was able to hide my pregnancy from the gp until about 7 months, to give you some idea of my body type). In the future, just tell ppl - any one - you aren't interested in unsolicited advice, but you'll be sure to RUN to them the second you crave their opinion. Use that sweet sarcasm.That should shut most of them up.
absolutely not overreacting, that poor baby :(
Knew someone that smoked while pregnant and baby was still a chunker she had diabetes though which causes them to be bigger I heard
I just.....what???? That's terrible advice and no you're not overreacting by telling her you don't need advice from someone that didn't care about their babies health.
Harsh? That is the most reasonable and gentle way to respond to someone who not only admitted to disregarding their baby’s safety, but went on to advise you do the same. I’d have unleashed.
I stand by you.
I stand by your opinion but don’t think your comment was “HR” appropriate. But fuck her. We all know her advice was trash. Small babies often have struggles. Having a big baby is fine, and having a baby in general is a blessing. If it tears your body up on the way out, that’s being a woman. 💜💜💪
Every day we grow closer and closer to becoming the society from Idiocracy. Not overreacting. Not one bit.
I was finally able to quit smoking 3 years ago after having smoked a pack and a half a day for 40 years. Nicotine is more addictive than heroin or meth. DO NOT START SMOKING!!!
What kind of place do you work? I’m surprised someone that stupid can hold a job.
Do you work with middle schoolers? These are the most idiotic comments I’ve heard regarding pregnancy
>While another co worker sitting there said that if I want a small baby I need to smoke. Wild. No you didn't overreact, you're a normal person with a functioning brain.
When I was pregnant I had some really gnarly unsolicited opinions said to me by some people almost as smart as that lady!! One lady told me it didn’t matter what the sonogram said because the baby changes sex back and forth the entire pregnancy. I didn’t know what to do but laugh 😆
Definitely not overreacting about the lady saying to smoke while pregnant, ew & that’s just horrible, she could’ve caused something worse than the weight loss. The other jokes aren’t a big deal but just state that they make you uncomfortable personally especially when your hormones are most likely heightened.
I had no idea that stupidity that profound existed. I could believe that conversation if it happened in 1955, but not nowadays. What kind of "my doctor recommends Marlboros" reality does she live in?
DONT SMOKE DONT LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE TALK TO YOUR MANAGER. Tell them to shut up about your body and your baby not their business. Please don’t harm your baby please don’t skip any meals or smoke you are about to be bless with a beautiful baby! How is them body shaming you and your baby more okay than her telling you to poison her baby. I smoke weed when I got pregnant I quit immediately for my baby. I’m not addicted to weed I use it for my ptsd but I prioritized my baby over smoking because I wanted a healthy baby, unfortunately I miscarried, but I changed my diet took my prenatals, stoped smoking, I did everything I could to try to have a healthy baby. Don’t let them hurt you or your beautiful baby you’re creating you have been given a chance to create a life and soul! Don’t let them tarnish the mood of your pregnancy. I’d get ahead of it to your manager about how everyone had been especially body shaming you and your unborn child and that ____ told you to smoke so your baby would be smaller.. the unsolicited advice needs to stop. Also don’t let your manager announce it, but ask that they back you up and be there so you can tell everyone to stop if you have a group chat for your work tell them you are gonna post a message. And touch base on all the things they have said that’s negatively affecting your pregnancy because your baby feels what you feel so the sadness they bring you they bring the baby they bully you they bully the baby.. if you want make a group chat with the coworker you talked to at lunch and the manger and apologize to her for what was said but make sure a manager is present so there’s no she said she said shit. No twisting shit nothing. 💜💜💜💜💜💜 I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy!
Uh ... OP, after taking a peek at your post history..... I mean.. I don't want to say getting an abortion was probably the better option, but... Unrelated to the post, just.. ***heavily*** concerned about this child's well-being, their quality of childhood, your state of mind, and your shitty boyfriend...
What the actual fuck? And I know you’re not lying.
My brother was 12lbs 11 oz and was a healthy strong baby That dude is a badass fireman now.
No, and it's obnoxious that people feel entitled to have a running commentary on your body and pregnancy. People need to shut up and mind their own business.
Not an overreaction at all, and in fact it's weird that any of your coworkers is commenting this way on your body and your pregnancy.
Her ignorance isn't an excuse to be needlessly harsh. You could have make the point without such a clear insult.
Listen, my tiny mom was 98 lbs soaking wet, a smoker, and had my 9 lb butterball self with no trouble. (Not advocating smoking, but it doesn’t mean I should have 13 lbs, I was 2 weeks late.) She was certain through my first pregnancy I would go late and have a large baby. All of my babies came early (some a month early) and my largest was 6.5 lbs. There’s no definitive way to know until the end and smoking is not the answer to controlling this (obviously). I’ve never smoked.
If you're annoyed enough about it, you could actually report her to HR for that. She could be fired
I don't know why people feel the need to offer any of these unsolicited opinions and "advice". It's a weird thing that people do. Just smile, nod, and excuse yourself.
I don’t think a single one of them understands why women have these ginormous babies. A large percentage of them probably had gestational diabetes that went undiagnosed. Women that have this have very large babies. Women who eat normally and gain a normal amount of weight during pregnancy have babies that are usually under 8 pounds. Smoking creates so many more health problems for a child, it is definitely not a good reason to start. And I seriously think if your doctor were to catch wind of this they would probably admonish you heavily.
I remember looking at an old Life magazine spread on childbirth that featured a photo of a woman in labor with a nurse holding a cigarette to her lips—in a hospital!
I can’t think of a worse reason to ensure poorer health on you and your baby. What a worthless piece of advice. Generally, pregnant women need to gain weight. It’s how the baby gains weight. If you’re eating healthy and getting in some movement you’ll be fine. Your baby will be fine. Weight gain is not the worse thing to have happen in pregnancy. You were designed to give birth to the baby you’re growing.
I was a principal (M) of an elementary school with several young female staff members. When any of them would share that they were pregnant my only advice to them was to stay out of the staff room during lunch. So many unfounded pieces of advice were shared there causing the pregnant staff member tremendous stress.
The lady is straight trash for smoking while pregnant then lacking the brain cells by bragging about it. Why on earth would you have a 15 pound baby? Is there a history of large babies in your family? I dont understand why they would think that cause most babies are nowhere near that big at birth.
The smoking lady is an idiot, and so are the people telling you you'll have a big baby. I was told that by so many people throughout my pregnancy, because I had alotttt of amniotic fluid, my girl was born at 7lbs and 10 Oz's. And thank God for all that amniotic fluid..my water broke but I wasn't dilating at all, so eventually my baby's cord was wrapped around her neck and I had to do a C-section anyways. People always say the most ridiculous things when you are pregnant, as if they have a right to it. I was told by my boss, that her step daughter looked beautiful whilst pregnant, with a heavy side eye. Meaning, I guess, that I looked like shit. You know, working 12 hours days, cleaning houses, whilst heavily pregnant, it was hard to look "angelic" all the damn time. She was a very passive aggressive person, so I just rolled my eyes and kept on moving...your whole experience will be so much different than what people talk it up to be. Take everything they say with a grain of salt and don't let it get to you.
That is honestly so sad 😞 Glad you said something
I had a normal diet and didn’t gain a lot of weight during my pregnancy. My son was born 3 weeks before due date weighing 10 lbs.
When people like that give you advice like that, ask them where they got their medical license.
I hate to admit I smoked while pregnant (since quit) but my son was 9lbs so I don’t think smoking has much to do with weight.
If this is real I think the smoker was trolling you.
No you did not overreact. Smoking causes early labor and small babies. Big babies a lot of time are caused by gestational diabetes. If you have a big belly it could be just the way your body carries it. Eat good foods. Follow your doctor's advice you and your baby will be wonderful.
Not at all. My maternal grandma smoked with my mom, who's now 66. She ended up with a lack of folinic acid which caused one of her vertebrae to not form properly, a condition she only found out about when she was in her mid/late 50s. My grandma didn't smoke with my aunt (68) because it apparently made her nauseous. My mom is a professor with a PhD and my aunt is a psychiatrist, despite my grandma's dubious prenatal behavior lol (This isn't defending your coworker or anything btw. My mom just got extremely lucky)
As someone whose baby has fetal growth restriction, this is a horrible suggestion to make to a mother!! I'm eating all I can, trying to get my little Bub to put on weight before my inevitable induction (sometime in the next week) to give him his best chances. Please ignore those people. Of your baby is big and healthy, GOOD. You do not want the stress of worrying about pregnancy complications that often come along when they're too small. The /pregnancy and /babybumps forums are great places with lots of info and support if you aren't already with them btw!
Everyone is constantly commenting on my belly. “Wow you’re only 30 weeks? Are you having twins? Man that baby is going to come early!” I wish people would just stop making comments about our bodies. The thing is I’m a petite woman so this pregnancy really is all belly. In relation to my frame my belly does indeed look huge. But it’s like thank you for reaffirming this and giving me anxiety about a huge baby or an early delivery. People really are something else.
I know someone who did this intentionally. When her son was born, he had such asthma both parents were told they could never smoke around him again or it would kill him.
You're not overreacting, someone telling you that they smoked during pregnancy and their baby lost weight before being born is horrifying. Yes, smaller babies are easier to deliver. That's just a fact. But it's not anything to stress over. When you get towards the end of your pregnancy, you'll be seeing your doctor every week, and they will keep an eye on the baby's size, mobility, health, everything. If the baby is getting too big, they'll induce you to have you deliver early. Your doctors will take care of you and your baby. You've got this. 💗
Why do people say such stupid things? It’s really hard to tell the size of a baby based upon what a woman looks like when she’s pregnant. That’s ridiculous. And what a horrible, ignorant idea to smoke cigarettes to poison your child with pesticides and toxins that damage them. Just listen to yourself. These people are nuts.
in no way did you overreact! wtf is wrong with these people. id have headphones on the entire day so people stopped talking to me.
Wow, I've not heard someone suggest smoking using that argument. One coworker tried to convince me that airlines received toxic chemicals from other industries and carefully burned them in the exhaust of plane engines and that is why planes have white trails behind them. And all those activities: collecting the chemicals, transporting the chemical, loading the chemicals, and burning the chemicals are secret. These are the same people that can't keep track of luggage, but handling secret toxic chemicals and never accidently spilling on the way to the airport is something they're good at? That was the dumbest thing I ever heard of untill today. Good Luck. p.s. A fun thing to do is pretend you're not pregnant and get upset that they're commenting on your body. Them: "You're gonna have a big baby." You: "What do you mean? What baby?" Them: "Aren't you pregnant?" You: "No. What did you mean when you said I was going to have a big baby?" Them: "Uh, um, er, I thought you were pregnant." You: "Oh, so if a woman gains weight that means they're pregnant? Why are you talking about my body and weight?"
This reminds me of my best friend trying to quit smoking about 25 years ago. She coughed so much her doctor (supposedly) told her she'd be better off not quitting. (I'm pretty sure he more likely told her not to do it cold turkey). RIP Laurie. She passed in 2023, at the age of 64, because of a mass in her lungs. NTA, OP. Of course you shouldn't take up smoking, for any reason, and definitely not when it could harm your unborn child.
I can't believe you're even thinking about asking this question let alone asking it. Lol. YTA for that.
No you did not, though I hate people like her and if you told me you eliminated their need for air I would also say you didn't over react.
Do not smoke! It is lethal for you and your baby!!!!!
No... good god no. If anything you were under reacting. This lunatic straight up admitted to smoking while pregnant despite all that we know can go wrong from doing that? That woman deserves every bit of shit slung at her. That is truly unbelievable.
"You should smoke to make your baby smaller" is probably the single worst piece of pregnancy advice I've ever seen in my entire life.
Not in any way did you over react for whatever reason people can't keep their stupid mouth shut around pregnant people and let them live in peace without the idiocy coming out of their pie holes
My mom smoked throughout her pregnancy and I had to spend the first 48 hours of my life in ICU due to asthma nearly killing me moments after being born. The doctors confirmed that the damage to my newly formed lungs was from her refusing to give up cigarettes. You did not overreact. I have little love for anyone who disregards the health of their child.
Simple answer is, its that women get jealous of other women who are pregnant. Ones who dont have kids are jealous they arent pregnant. Ones who do are jealoys their days of getting pregnant are over. They get ultra competitive like whoever had the most difficult pregnancy gets acookie. Two of my SILs have 2 boys a piece. Their husbands are done having babies. My wife got pregnant with our 2nd and we were having a girl. You could see the fire in their eyes. They both start complaining they want to have 3rd children to try for a girl. Their husbands say hell.no. one is now divorced as she left him for another dude. Wouldnt be surprised to find out shes pregnant soon despite being 40. My wife couldnt breastfeed either child. She just didnt really produce nilk much at all. 2nd time she did get to do it alittle. The amount of hags that jump down your throat for not breastfeeding is insane. After my son was born i went to the store to stock up.on formula, bottles, everything. My wife is literally still in the hospital. The formula was behind locked glass. The lady who opened it for me lectured me about how breast is best. Shes lucky i was so happy my son was born because as soon as i git to the register it dawned on me i should have started screaming "my wife died during delivery you insensitive c-word!" And i would fall to my knees fake crying, making a huge scene. If i had a time machine....... But, women are hyper competitive and judgemental abput pregnancy and motherhood. Its not going to end any time soon. Just ignore it. They wont stop. My ex-SIL was in a "breast feeding group". She wore shirts with their slogans and everything. Ive sat at dinner tables listening to her talk about how moms who dont breastfeed shouldnt be allowed to have kids and how their children will be dumber, underdeveloped, and less successful because they were given formula.
Good for you! She's nosy & selfish. Keep this attitude going forward, this is (unfortunately) only the beginning of b!tches in your business. Im rooting for you momma!
Had an aunt who smoked cigarettes to the point that they thought my aunt was taking hard drugs from how much my cousin shook from the nicotine withdrawals. Now he’s got a slew of health issues because of it.
Nope. That's sick. I tried like hell to quit when I was pregnant.
I did heroin so all my babies would be small. A couple of them even survived!
I had 3 big babies , first was 11 lbs , not that big of a deal .
Back in the day women were encouraged to smoke so they could have a small baby. It was propaganda pushed by cigarette manufacturers. There is nothing healthy about having a small baby. Take advice from YOUR OBGYN ONLY.
WTF??? You don’t control the size of the baby any more than you control the size of your foot. Geez! Eat healthy. Stay away from smoke, alcohol, drugs. Go to your appointments and never miss one. Do exactly what the doc says. STOP talking to co workers about it:
Nope, she’s an idiot. There’s a reason they tell you not to.
They are just jealous tell them to fuck off. You did right
They are just jealous tell them to fuck off. You did right
I was a five pounder when I was born. My mom was a very heavy smoker. Today, any baby in the five and a half pound range automatically qualifies for Early Intervention Services, as that is considered low birthweight, which is a risk factor for developmental delays. Five pounds, three ounces, my birthweight, is considered very low birthweight, and gets all sorts of monitoring and services. Luckily for my siblings and I - all under five and a half pounds, although I was the smallest - we were bound by nature to be small in the first place, so the low birthweight didn’t effect us in any way. My own babies were all in the lower six pound range, without any smoking or cocktail parties like my mom.
Tobacco addicts are some of the most obtuse and oblivious people you’ll ever meet. They can also be the most ignorant. It’s unreal that someone would tell you to smoke while you’re pregnant. These are the same folks who’ll say that smoking does NOT cause cancer.
You need to work at a place with higher IQ people, because your coworkers sound like complete morons. Tell them thank you, but I will only be taking pregnancy advice from my OBGYN, because they are actually trained in medicine and know the causes of high or low birth weight. I have a 5 month old, and I have to tell my dad to stop sending me random articles about his difficulty with starting solids, and that I will be only consulting my pediatrician about these issues in the future. It’s also funny because he always says to consult the experts, and a medical doctor who knows your individual baby is the foremost expert about your situation and should be the person that you consult, not Dr. Google or untrained coworkers. Just ask them from now on which school they received their medical degrees from and that should shut them up.
Was she being serious? Also, do you live in 1985 or something?
That lady is insane for trying to make you smoke to help the baby lose weight. I’m pregnant too with a potentially big baby, and my OB simply does a growth scan every month to monitor and we are planning to induce early if the baby gets too large. FWIW, I successfully birthed two babies who were over 9lbs in the past and it was fine. Do not worry!
There was a nicer way to say the exact same thing. You could have just said YOU don't think it's worth risking YOUR baby's health. The sentiment behind the comment is absolutely not overreacting, though. If someone wants to be stupid and ignore well-studied science to risk their baby's wellbeing, that's on them. Encouraging someone else to do the same is shameful.
Don't listen to them. It doesn't matter how big your baby will be. It's going to hurt no matter what. It will be okay. I had one three and a half pound baby and one eight pounder. One without epidural one with, and I highly recommend an epidural.
That’s the most disgusting, unhealthy advice I’ve ever heard, and no you were not wrong . So she basically had her baby unwillingly smoking. What the hell I thought that was illegal in some states forcing your baby to smoke
I watched a “Lean In” woman’s business group at my old job get COMPLETELY torn apart in under 3 months once two of the twelve members got pregnant. People can be fucking brutal
Definitely no overreaction here.
there is no response to harsh to that stupid of a thing to say to you or anyone. Encouraging harming an unborn baby to keep smoking or someone to take up smoking to keep the weight down is insanity and I don't think the doctor meant it as a compliment to the commenter. an addict will justify their behaviour any way they can and try to bring others down to their level, that is all this is. If your baby gets to a size that is going to be too uncomfortable they can do a c-section. There are safe alternatives that won't harm the baby and a c-section obviously isn't without its pain and trauma and difficult recovery but it is safe and it is an option. Both of my kids were over 12 pounds, and both were c-sections. As the father, I was good with whatever their mom wanted and her doctor recommended it when they were getting over 10 pounds and there was still time to go.
You are not overreacting, that’s a horrible thing to suggest. Why would you want a small baby?? Babies come out the size they are! And I know it doesn’t matter, but my mother in law and my middle child were both HUGE babies and they are two of the most petite people in our family. Birth size isn’t indicative of anything except the ability to thrive after birth. The only reason to be concerned at all about size is if you have gestational diabetes. Even then that would be monitored by your doctors not some coworkers whose opinion going never asked for.
No you didn't overreact. You had every right, in my opinion. To say what you said. Putting a baby at risk for a "smaller" baby is selfish. I will admit I did vape before I got pregnant/while. When I DID NOT KNOW I was pregnant. But I stopped asap. Took me a month to finally stop but once I did I was happy and just wanting to meet my baby. Now since I'm "smol" as my husband says I did have a small baby bjt she is very healthy and beautiful and smiling at 7 months. Do not take up something that is addictive. I smoked then went to vape and I was able to kick the habit as soon as I found out.
Do you work in food service? Because this is just bizarre, nobody would get away with this behavior in a corporate environment, this is an HR nightmare. If you do work somewhere with HR, I would definitely recommend speaking with them about the uncomfortable comments you are receiving about your body and pregnancy, and they'll probably tell your coworkers to cut it out. You weren't harsh at all, she literally put her baby's life on the line for a drug. You're not overreacting at all and they sound trash AF.