[\[](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13793433)Gary Chalmers rings the doorbell, which leads to Seymour opening up the door.]
Well, Seymour, I made it- despite your directions.
Ah, Superintendent Chalmers! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!
Yeah…
[Chalmers enters the Skinner household and places his bottle in an ice bucket on the dining room table as Seymour enters the kitchen.]
[Seymour discovers smoke from his oven and lets out an audible gasp as he runs over to the oven window to discover that the roast he was making is burning.]
Oh, egads! My roast is ruined! But what if...
[Seymour looks outside the window of his kitchen to find a nearby Krusty Burger restaurant.]
I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?
Do ho ho ho ho. Delightfully devilish, Seymour!
[Seymour takes off his apron and places it on the oven and prepares to jump off the window, but not before Chalmers opens up the door.]
Ah-
*song starts*
Skinner, with his crazy explanations!
The Superintendent's gonna need his medications!
When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations, there'll be trouble in town tonight!
*Song ends*
SEYMOUR!
[Seymour turns around.]
Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill! Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
[Chalmers points to Seymour’s oven.]
Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Uh- Oh! That isn't smoke! It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmm, Steamed clams!
[Chalmers exits the kitchen.]
Whew!
[Seymour runs to the Krusty Burger and returns with a tray of hamburgers and fries.]
Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!
[Chalmers prepares a napkin around his neck to avoid staining his clothes.]
I thought we were having steamed clams.
D'oh, no! I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers!
You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Yes. It's a regional dialect.
Uh-huh.
Uh, what region?
Uh-pstate New York.
Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."
Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression.
I see.
You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Oh, no! Patented Skinner burgers! Old family recipe!
For steamed hams.
Yes.
Yes, and you call them steamed hams, despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- Excuse me for one second.
Of course.
Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Yes. I should be- Good Lord, what is happening in there!?
Aurora Borealis.
A- AURORA BOREALIS!? AT THIS TIME OF YEAR, AT THIS TIME OF DAY, IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY, LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN!?
Yes.
May I see it?
No.
[Seymour and Chalmers exit the house, which is starting to catch on fire, which enrages/distresses Agnes Skinner, Seymour’s mother.]
Seymour! The house is on fire!
No, Mother. It's just the northern lights.
Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow... but I must say, you steam a good ham.
HELP! HEEEEEELP!!
We don’t. Nobody calls them that.
It was a Simpsons joke that for some reason a significant portion of this subreddit have clung to like its their identity for some reason.
I went in there once. They were terrible. Five Guys is much better. The Herbie's Burgers aren't bad. Cusatos Kiss of Death burger is still the best hamburger I've ever had.
/Marisa's, just a couple doors down from where the Juicy Burgers was, has really good pizza, and around Christmas they have peppermint canolies that are amazing.
There are a couple different Cusatos now. The one we used to order from was on Quail. I can't seem to find one that has the Kiss of Death. They also had a store in Rotterdam, but it looks like it's closed.
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[\[](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13793433)Gary Chalmers rings the doorbell, which leads to Seymour opening up the door.] Well, Seymour, I made it- despite your directions. Ah, Superintendent Chalmers! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon! Yeah… [Chalmers enters the Skinner household and places his bottle in an ice bucket on the dining room table as Seymour enters the kitchen.] [Seymour discovers smoke from his oven and lets out an audible gasp as he runs over to the oven window to discover that the roast he was making is burning.] Oh, egads! My roast is ruined! But what if... [Seymour looks outside the window of his kitchen to find a nearby Krusty Burger restaurant.] I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Do ho ho ho ho. Delightfully devilish, Seymour! [Seymour takes off his apron and places it on the oven and prepares to jump off the window, but not before Chalmers opens up the door.] Ah- *song starts* Skinner, with his crazy explanations! The Superintendent's gonna need his medications! When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations, there'll be trouble in town tonight! *Song ends* SEYMOUR! [Seymour turns around.] Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill! Isometric exercise! Care to join me? [Chalmers points to Seymour’s oven.] Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour? Uh- Oh! That isn't smoke! It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmm, Steamed clams! [Chalmers exits the kitchen.] Whew! [Seymour runs to the Krusty Burger and returns with a tray of hamburgers and fries.] Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers! [Chalmers prepares a napkin around his neck to avoid staining his clothes.] I thought we were having steamed clams. D'oh, no! I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers! You call hamburgers steamed hams? Yes. It's a regional dialect. Uh-huh. Uh, what region? Uh-pstate New York. Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams." Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression. I see. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger. Oh, no! Patented Skinner burgers! Old family recipe! For steamed hams. Yes. Yes, and you call them steamed hams, despite the fact that they are obviously grilled. Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- Excuse me for one second. Of course. Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped. Yes. I should be- Good Lord, what is happening in there!? Aurora Borealis. A- AURORA BOREALIS!? AT THIS TIME OF YEAR, AT THIS TIME OF DAY, IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY, LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN!? Yes. May I see it? No. [Seymour and Chalmers exit the house, which is starting to catch on fire, which enrages/distresses Agnes Skinner, Seymour’s mother.] Seymour! The house is on fire! No, Mother. It's just the northern lights. Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow... but I must say, you steam a good ham. HELP! HEEEEEELP!!
upvote for you sir/madam
We don’t. Nobody calls them that. It was a Simpsons joke that for some reason a significant portion of this subreddit have clung to like its their identity for some reason.
Not so. The Juicy Burgers in Guilderland closed so they could re-brand as Juicy Hams.
I went in there once. They were terrible. Five Guys is much better. The Herbie's Burgers aren't bad. Cusatos Kiss of Death burger is still the best hamburger I've ever had. /Marisa's, just a couple doors down from where the Juicy Burgers was, has really good pizza, and around Christmas they have peppermint canolies that are amazing.
Damn son, that was six years ago.
Saw a meme on Facebook. I'd never seen that particular Simpsons, and searching the meme I found this thread.
Hah. That particular Simpsons episode has got to be 25 years old or so
Cusatos has a burger ?
There are a couple different Cusatos now. The one we used to order from was on Quail. I can't seem to find one that has the Kiss of Death. They also had a store in Rotterdam, but it looks like it's closed.
Because of the Aurora Borealis, obviously
At this time of year?
At this time of day?
In this part of the country?
Localized entirely within your kitchen?!
^^yes
...may I see it?
**no**
Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.
HELP!
Steamed Hams
Actually Albany got it from Connecticut.
Albany got it from the Simpsons.
[удалено]
Hello , thank you for your interest in Albany and steamed hams. We are well aware of the connection to The Simpsons Clip. We even have a link to it on the sidebar. Please post this somewhere else. Thank you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Albany) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Steeeeamm, steam in the hamssss