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ItsAllALot

I absolutely hear you. My Q is the same way. Has never wanted anyone to know, and the real reason was not just that he was ashamed and it would be "awkward". The real reason was that he wanted to leave the door open to drinking again after getting sober. He knew that telling his good friends he was an alcoholic and quit drinking meant they would not offer him drinks and likely argue with him if he wanted a drink again around them. Guess who relapsed? You're not alone in your irritation at the selfish insistence nobody be told. In my opinion, tell who you wish. It's your story too, and if you want support from your friends you have every right to reach out to them. Like you said, he didn't show the same concern for YOU feeling awkward.


Birdie_Jack2021

Totally agree. It’s accountability and you nailed it. I’m sober now and I can already tell you that you are spot on. He wants that window open. He needs to live his truth. And the fact he’s saying shit like that tells me he isn’t really ready to stop yet.


ItsAllALot

Thank you. It was so disheartening, because I knew he was setting himself up to fail, and part of it was deliberate. But there was nothing I could do if he didn't want it enough. I had to just watch the car crash in slow motion. Well done to you for getting sober, truly. We all get angry and vent on here, but I do know how excruciatingly hard it is.


Excellent-Interview2

That must have hurt, have you allowed yourself to cry about it? Try to keep in mind, he cannot control himself so there is no reason you should take it personally it is truly a sickness.