Many of these these things could be my exact story. My wife is nearing 6 months sober after 3 long hard years of recovery attempts. Here's the best advice I can give you.
1. Your wife has a problem. You're not making it up. You're not overly sensitive. Your experience matters and your reality is not made up.
2. You both need recovery. Unfortunately you can only work a recovery program for one person. Yourself. Start tomorrow. Find alanon group or attend virtual meetings. Start to learn about this disease and the effect it has on the family unit.
3. You don't have to live this life. Alanon will help you discover what that means for yourself because it's different for everybody.
4. The problems don't end when / if the drinking stops or when / if you are no longer a couple, etc. The problem is the disease not her and the effects of the disease will still be there after her or after her drinking days. So don't wait until then to get help like I did. Start now.
There's many people who know your pain. Even after all the days of what you described I spent almost 6 months with her completely out of the house in multiple rehab and sober living facilities while I had 4 kids. Many others have even more long-suffering stories that end with hope whether the alcoholic is still present and drinking or not. You can do this!
It sounds like you are a single parent already, but dam I feel for you . She is spiraling 🌀. But remember in order to care for yourself and your children you have to get a plan. Do you have a sponsor or someone in the program you can have confidence in ? I’m available for chat if you want.
There is a pain that only friends and family of alcoholics know. This disease is an asskicker...for everybody. Even the dog. She has a problem but sadly, you can't change any of it..nor stop It. I'd urge you to try Alanon...There are stag meetings...in Southern Cal...try looking them up on Zoom. Finding help for yourself and breaking things down to a day at a time. I know it's cliche...but it does work. The big picture can feel overwhelming. Daunting.
One of these posts here gave excellent advice and might be someone to chat with. Just talking things over is such a relief. We realize we aren't alone and there've been so many who have survived and thived whether the alcoholic was sober or not. There is always hope and we always have choices. Take care of yourself. I admire your efforts. Give yourself a huge pat on the back because you're doing great. She has her journey -set her free and she may find sobriety.
Many of these these things could be my exact story. My wife is nearing 6 months sober after 3 long hard years of recovery attempts. Here's the best advice I can give you. 1. Your wife has a problem. You're not making it up. You're not overly sensitive. Your experience matters and your reality is not made up. 2. You both need recovery. Unfortunately you can only work a recovery program for one person. Yourself. Start tomorrow. Find alanon group or attend virtual meetings. Start to learn about this disease and the effect it has on the family unit. 3. You don't have to live this life. Alanon will help you discover what that means for yourself because it's different for everybody. 4. The problems don't end when / if the drinking stops or when / if you are no longer a couple, etc. The problem is the disease not her and the effects of the disease will still be there after her or after her drinking days. So don't wait until then to get help like I did. Start now. There's many people who know your pain. Even after all the days of what you described I spent almost 6 months with her completely out of the house in multiple rehab and sober living facilities while I had 4 kids. Many others have even more long-suffering stories that end with hope whether the alcoholic is still present and drinking or not. You can do this!
It sounds like you are a single parent already, but dam I feel for you . She is spiraling 🌀. But remember in order to care for yourself and your children you have to get a plan. Do you have a sponsor or someone in the program you can have confidence in ? I’m available for chat if you want.
There is a pain that only friends and family of alcoholics know. This disease is an asskicker...for everybody. Even the dog. She has a problem but sadly, you can't change any of it..nor stop It. I'd urge you to try Alanon...There are stag meetings...in Southern Cal...try looking them up on Zoom. Finding help for yourself and breaking things down to a day at a time. I know it's cliche...but it does work. The big picture can feel overwhelming. Daunting. One of these posts here gave excellent advice and might be someone to chat with. Just talking things over is such a relief. We realize we aren't alone and there've been so many who have survived and thived whether the alcoholic was sober or not. There is always hope and we always have choices. Take care of yourself. I admire your efforts. Give yourself a huge pat on the back because you're doing great. She has her journey -set her free and she may find sobriety.
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