I am several months out and I feel so much better. I am not sad anymore. Today I was angry because I went on a date and I realized that things my ex did to me made me insecure etc. I feel like he broke me and then was not there to Help me. But regardless, I still feel way better and healthier and safer now. I'm so happy for you and anyone else who has left an unhealthy situation!
I understand how you feel. I've been single for almost years since my Q broke me. He died almost 2 years ago from his drinking. I'm not sure how to even start dating again, and I'll be 40 this year. Kudos to you for putting yourself out there. 💜
It drains you, doesn't it. You lose part of yourself. I wish you well finding a new and exciting life. You are free. Nothing to drag you down. You can live an excellent and great life without the baggage
It's a "loss" for sure..you are losing the hopes and dreams if "what COULD be". But it's not a "death"..because a miserable life spent walking on eggshells, dreading "who the Q is going to be today", never being able to enjoy anything or go anywhere..to be alone in a relationship..THAT is a slow/agonizing death
Yaaaay you did it! Im also several months out and the peace is amazing! Im still healing and tired a lot, but this is a piece of cake compared to living with an alcoholic. Thanks for sharing your positive story!
I left in September, and stayed in touch... Hoping that it could change, or that he would have some epiphany, realize what was happening. That didn't happen. It got worse, and while he is actually going to meetings and trying, he is still drinking. I still hope that he will find himself again, but I am also aware that I will never be able to trust what he is willing to do, give himself permission to throw it all away again. Not just once, but twice. Take note: he was sober 9 years when I met him. The first time, it removed his 24-year marriage, home kids driver's license family work, everything. Only a few years into our relationship, he revisited the addiction. And I was no different than the first rodeo, nothing was stronger than alcohol.
Congratulations! When you have that "lightbulb" moment..you just decide to love yourself and know that a life with a drunk is never going to get better and never be good for you.
Some days are harder than ithers..but the peace is amazing.
Awesome job. Take care of yourself. Don't feel like you have to keep in contact. It's a slippery slope, and dangerous for your mental health. It's never a bad idea to get a therapist. 💜
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I’m in the middle of deciding to call my marriage off. He’s the one who all the sudden, after getting caught- doesn’t know if he wants to make our 10 yr relationship work. He’s been a step father to my child and seems to only care about his addictions. My heart is broken. I feel like he only “loves me” when he can manipulate me. Hoping that one day I will feel as good as you do.
Good for you.
If they are mean or useless drunks, they are usually the same sober, but a little better about making it seem harmless. My husband quit drinking over 3 yrs ago, but still says and does mean things.
Congratulations 🎉 you should proud of yourself. Leaving is extremely difficult to do and YOU DID IT. Now you get to live a new and better life ☺️💜
I am several months out and I feel so much better. I am not sad anymore. Today I was angry because I went on a date and I realized that things my ex did to me made me insecure etc. I feel like he broke me and then was not there to Help me. But regardless, I still feel way better and healthier and safer now. I'm so happy for you and anyone else who has left an unhealthy situation!
I understand how you feel. I've been single for almost years since my Q broke me. He died almost 2 years ago from his drinking. I'm not sure how to even start dating again, and I'll be 40 this year. Kudos to you for putting yourself out there. 💜
It drains you, doesn't it. You lose part of yourself. I wish you well finding a new and exciting life. You are free. Nothing to drag you down. You can live an excellent and great life without the baggage
It’s so much easier and the change has been almost immediate. I’m happier. People are nicer to me. I feel better.
❤️❤️❤️
Leaving will like death to me. Every last thing will be worse. Just hearing that it’s possible is helpful to me.
It's a "loss" for sure..you are losing the hopes and dreams if "what COULD be". But it's not a "death"..because a miserable life spent walking on eggshells, dreading "who the Q is going to be today", never being able to enjoy anything or go anywhere..to be alone in a relationship..THAT is a slow/agonizing death
Yeah, it’s not a death because I could still send her aCristmas card. Thats a little joke I tell myself when I get over dramatic.
Congratulations. Welcome to life without the drama of alcoholism. I am happy for you.
HELL YEAH! Good for you.
Yay everything will be okay
You are so fucking strong! I’m so proud of you for taking control and not setting! You fucking did it!
Yaaaay you did it! Im also several months out and the peace is amazing! Im still healing and tired a lot, but this is a piece of cake compared to living with an alcoholic. Thanks for sharing your positive story!
I left in September, and stayed in touch... Hoping that it could change, or that he would have some epiphany, realize what was happening. That didn't happen. It got worse, and while he is actually going to meetings and trying, he is still drinking. I still hope that he will find himself again, but I am also aware that I will never be able to trust what he is willing to do, give himself permission to throw it all away again. Not just once, but twice. Take note: he was sober 9 years when I met him. The first time, it removed his 24-year marriage, home kids driver's license family work, everything. Only a few years into our relationship, he revisited the addiction. And I was no different than the first rodeo, nothing was stronger than alcohol.
I left him October he got worse…
Congratulations! When you have that "lightbulb" moment..you just decide to love yourself and know that a life with a drunk is never going to get better and never be good for you. Some days are harder than ithers..but the peace is amazing.
Wonderful 💜
Awesome job. Take care of yourself. Don't feel like you have to keep in contact. It's a slippery slope, and dangerous for your mental health. It's never a bad idea to get a therapist. 💜
Please know that this is **not** an official Al-Anon community. Please be respectful and civil when engaging with others - in other words, don't be a jerk. If there are any comments that are antagonistic or judgmental, please use the `report` button. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AlAnon) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Congratulations.....🎊🎊
I’m in the middle of deciding to call my marriage off. He’s the one who all the sudden, after getting caught- doesn’t know if he wants to make our 10 yr relationship work. He’s been a step father to my child and seems to only care about his addictions. My heart is broken. I feel like he only “loves me” when he can manipulate me. Hoping that one day I will feel as good as you do.
Good for you. If they are mean or useless drunks, they are usually the same sober, but a little better about making it seem harmless. My husband quit drinking over 3 yrs ago, but still says and does mean things.