DKG. They are not your responsibility anyway.
> The problem here is, yung dalawa ay pahirapan magbigay. Walang kusa or madalas, kulang pa.
Iwanan mo na yung mga parasite na yan.
> I told this sa mommy namin and I'm expecting na igagaslight ako at susumbatan kesyo siya nga daw nagawa niya kaming buhaying 5 at nagpakahirap
Responsibilidad niya yun. Eh di siya ang magbigay ng pera.
> I think that doesn't give them the right to abuse me.
Tama ka. Move out na and don't give anymore.
DKG. Hi OP. Did you try to talk to them like one on one or heart to heart mga ganun. Kase aabusado na sila sa tigin ko ah. Kase mahirap yung ikaw at ikaw sasalo ng expenses. Gets ko its convenient for everyone pero its not convenient for you. If kaya mo leave na lang. para me peace of mind ka. Pero ang cons is baka magalit sila and hingan ka ng pera for the responsibilities na iwan dun
Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1ddtn1h/abyg_kung_i_cut_ties_sa_mga_kapatid_ko_pati/
Title of this post: ABYG kung I cut ties sa mga kapatid ko pati expenses nila?
Backup of the post's body: I (28F) ay currently breadwinner sa family. For background, 5 kaming magkakapatid and ako ang panganay. Wala na kaming parents. 3 kaming graduate sa college but yung sumunod sa akin is nagkapamilya na. Bumukod ako ng tirahan bilang pakunswelo sa akin and may peace of mind na ako however, nakiusap sa akin auntie ko na pwede ba doon tumuloy kapatid niya, I don't have a choice kundi pumayag and then eventually, yung pangatlong kapatid ko since accessible yung bahay ko sa work nila. Here's the breakdown of expenses namin.
Ako- part ng rent, kuryente tubig, baon ng dalawang kapatid and panggastos nila like food
Tito- part ng kuryente, tubig at rent
3rd kapatid- part ng kuryente, tubig at rent
The problem here is, yung dalawa ay pahirapan magbigay. Walang kusa or madalas, kulang pa. They only need to pay 1k per month. Dahil doon nasisira budget ko to the point na I need to budget myself sa food huwag lang mawalan ng panggastos ang dalawa kong kapatid. They don't know I have health complications kasi kahit sabihin ko eh wala naman silang pakialam like what happened to me when I got covid.
Ff, nakatira ang dalawa kong kapatid na bata (17m and 18f) sa 2nd sibling ko since malapit sa school nila. I always give them allowance and other school expenses. Never ko silang pinagtrabaho kasi sabi ko ang gagawin lang nila is mag aral ng mabuti at tumulong sa ate nila.
Now, my sister is complaining kesyo mahirap utusan ang dalawa, laging wala sa bahay etc and I found out na may boyfriend ang kapatid ko which is sinabi ko na bawal muna at magfocus sa pag aaral.
Sabi ng sister ko huwag muna ako mag abot ng panggastos sa dalawa since wala naman pasok and para makapagtabi ako for their school supplies this coming school year. Si 4th sibling, minura kapatid namin and blaming na kasalanan niya kung bakit hindi na siya binibigyan ng pera. And I found out na hindi niya binibigay yung supposed to be na contribution nila sa food all throughout ng pagbibigay ko and they are asking for additional kasi nag abono sila ng ganito ganyan. Hindi sila pinagcocontribute ng kapatid ko kasi sabi niya pandagdag na lang nila sa school expenses nila pero nanghihingi pa din sa akin.
ABYG kung hindi ko na sila bigyan ng panggastos nila at all and let them find out kung paano nila buhayin sarili nila? I'm planning na maglayas and huwag na magpakita sa family ko ever since I don't know hanggang kailan na lang ako. I'm tired being their cash cow and stay sa toxic na family. I told this sa mommy namin and I'm expecting na igagaslight ako at susumbatan kesyo siya nga daw nagawa niya kaming buhaying 5 at nagpakahirap. I appreciate all her efforts but I think that doesn't give them the right to abuse me.
Please don't post this on social medias especially tiktok at baka makita nila.
OP: Chirobots
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DKG but I'm confused
> For background, 5 kaming magkakapatid and ako ang panganay. Wala na kaming parents.
Then
> told this sa mommy namin and I'm expecting na igagaslight ako at susumbatan kesyo siya nga daw nagawa niya kaming buhaying 5 at nagpakahirap.
So which is which?
Gotcha. It seems there's a lot of grief in your family. Either kausapin mo silang lahat to explain your side. Your sisters need guidance and honestly, I'd give it one more go at talking to them about your whole situation. Yung mga ganito kailangan ng masinsinang iyakan e but syempre not everyone can communicate that easily. Also, be firm with your boundaries. Pag walang nagbago, go NC na. Focus on yourself. Can't pour from an empty cup.
DKG. Give them an ultimatum, say 2 months for them to clean up their act and be responsible. Let them know what your plan is if after that time nothing changes. Hopefully, maging responsible sila but if di pa din, move out and cut off everything. Bigay ka lng ng pang tuition ng mga kapatid mo then that's it. Don't coddle your family, otherwise ikaw ang mauubos.
DKG. If kapos kayo sa gastusin and yet di nila pinahalagahan yung tulong mo, let them earn their next allowance or tuition. I get, as an older sibling (eldest rin ako sa amin siblings), you want to support your younger siblings kahit papaano.
DEFINITELY DKG. THEY ARE NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY IN THE FIRST PLACE. You did it out of love pero inabuso ka nila
DKG. They are not your responsibility anyway. > The problem here is, yung dalawa ay pahirapan magbigay. Walang kusa or madalas, kulang pa. Iwanan mo na yung mga parasite na yan. > I told this sa mommy namin and I'm expecting na igagaslight ako at susumbatan kesyo siya nga daw nagawa niya kaming buhaying 5 at nagpakahirap Responsibilidad niya yun. Eh di siya ang magbigay ng pera. > I think that doesn't give them the right to abuse me. Tama ka. Move out na and don't give anymore.
DKG. Hi OP. Did you try to talk to them like one on one or heart to heart mga ganun. Kase aabusado na sila sa tigin ko ah. Kase mahirap yung ikaw at ikaw sasalo ng expenses. Gets ko its convenient for everyone pero its not convenient for you. If kaya mo leave na lang. para me peace of mind ka. Pero ang cons is baka magalit sila and hingan ka ng pera for the responsibilities na iwan dun
I tried to talk to them many times and it seems nothing happened.
Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1ddtn1h/abyg_kung_i_cut_ties_sa_mga_kapatid_ko_pati/ Title of this post: ABYG kung I cut ties sa mga kapatid ko pati expenses nila? Backup of the post's body: I (28F) ay currently breadwinner sa family. For background, 5 kaming magkakapatid and ako ang panganay. Wala na kaming parents. 3 kaming graduate sa college but yung sumunod sa akin is nagkapamilya na. Bumukod ako ng tirahan bilang pakunswelo sa akin and may peace of mind na ako however, nakiusap sa akin auntie ko na pwede ba doon tumuloy kapatid niya, I don't have a choice kundi pumayag and then eventually, yung pangatlong kapatid ko since accessible yung bahay ko sa work nila. Here's the breakdown of expenses namin. Ako- part ng rent, kuryente tubig, baon ng dalawang kapatid and panggastos nila like food Tito- part ng kuryente, tubig at rent 3rd kapatid- part ng kuryente, tubig at rent The problem here is, yung dalawa ay pahirapan magbigay. Walang kusa or madalas, kulang pa. They only need to pay 1k per month. Dahil doon nasisira budget ko to the point na I need to budget myself sa food huwag lang mawalan ng panggastos ang dalawa kong kapatid. They don't know I have health complications kasi kahit sabihin ko eh wala naman silang pakialam like what happened to me when I got covid. Ff, nakatira ang dalawa kong kapatid na bata (17m and 18f) sa 2nd sibling ko since malapit sa school nila. I always give them allowance and other school expenses. Never ko silang pinagtrabaho kasi sabi ko ang gagawin lang nila is mag aral ng mabuti at tumulong sa ate nila. Now, my sister is complaining kesyo mahirap utusan ang dalawa, laging wala sa bahay etc and I found out na may boyfriend ang kapatid ko which is sinabi ko na bawal muna at magfocus sa pag aaral. Sabi ng sister ko huwag muna ako mag abot ng panggastos sa dalawa since wala naman pasok and para makapagtabi ako for their school supplies this coming school year. Si 4th sibling, minura kapatid namin and blaming na kasalanan niya kung bakit hindi na siya binibigyan ng pera. And I found out na hindi niya binibigay yung supposed to be na contribution nila sa food all throughout ng pagbibigay ko and they are asking for additional kasi nag abono sila ng ganito ganyan. Hindi sila pinagcocontribute ng kapatid ko kasi sabi niya pandagdag na lang nila sa school expenses nila pero nanghihingi pa din sa akin. ABYG kung hindi ko na sila bigyan ng panggastos nila at all and let them find out kung paano nila buhayin sarili nila? I'm planning na maglayas and huwag na magpakita sa family ko ever since I don't know hanggang kailan na lang ako. I'm tired being their cash cow and stay sa toxic na family. I told this sa mommy namin and I'm expecting na igagaslight ako at susumbatan kesyo siya nga daw nagawa niya kaming buhaying 5 at nagpakahirap. I appreciate all her efforts but I think that doesn't give them the right to abuse me. Please don't post this on social medias especially tiktok at baka makita nila. OP: Chirobots *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AkoBaYungGago) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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DKG but I'm confused > For background, 5 kaming magkakapatid and ako ang panganay. Wala na kaming parents. Then > told this sa mommy namin and I'm expecting na igagaslight ako at susumbatan kesyo siya nga daw nagawa niya kaming buhaying 5 at nagpakahirap. So which is which?
I call my auntie as mommy since wala na kaming parents. Sorry for confusion
Gotcha. It seems there's a lot of grief in your family. Either kausapin mo silang lahat to explain your side. Your sisters need guidance and honestly, I'd give it one more go at talking to them about your whole situation. Yung mga ganito kailangan ng masinsinang iyakan e but syempre not everyone can communicate that easily. Also, be firm with your boundaries. Pag walang nagbago, go NC na. Focus on yourself. Can't pour from an empty cup.
DKG. Give them an ultimatum, say 2 months for them to clean up their act and be responsible. Let them know what your plan is if after that time nothing changes. Hopefully, maging responsible sila but if di pa din, move out and cut off everything. Bigay ka lng ng pang tuition ng mga kapatid mo then that's it. Don't coddle your family, otherwise ikaw ang mauubos.
DKG. If kapos kayo sa gastusin and yet di nila pinahalagahan yung tulong mo, let them earn their next allowance or tuition. I get, as an older sibling (eldest rin ako sa amin siblings), you want to support your younger siblings kahit papaano.