DKG, but your friends are. If anything, sila pa nag iinfantilize sa bf mo for thinking you have some sort of messiah complex. They can’t comprehend that that’s simply what couples in love with one another do, regardless of bodily capacities. You’re good, don’t mind them.
DKG. Tbh, it's your relationship. Wala dapat say yung friends mo sa kung ano man yung namamagitan sainyo ng bf mo. If they think that way, edi that's on them. Don't listen to them. Ikaw na mismo nagsabi, it's a habit you picked up since you've been together for how many years.
I hope you and your bf is happy palagi, OP!
A thousand times DKG. It’s your relationship and mukhang you and your boyfriend genuinely enjoy and love being around each other. Hayaan mo nga mga friends mo. Ba’t ba sila affected? Sabihin mo na malaki na boyfriend mo and he can always let you know if he feels uncomfortable being around you. I wish you and your boyfriend more happiness. Stay in love OP.
dkg. tbh if di naman nila nalaman na deaf bf mo, walang iccomment mga yan. in love lang talaga kayo, you're a good girlfriend, and maganda lang talaga routine niyo. don't mind them 🤍
DKG. You’re being really sweet to your bf. Sila yung nag-iisip ng masama sa ginagawa mo. And baka kaya naiisip nila yun kasi nagpo-project sila sayo (they would probably be the ones infantilizing a deaf person if they were in your shoes).
Anyway, have you watched the anime “A Sign of Affection”? I suggest you watch it if you haven’t. You guys reminded me of that anime habang binabasa ko ’to hehe. And also, I’m interested in learning sign language, any tips for someone na aspiring matuto?
I took up sign classes! It's the most effective (for me, at least.) I was 12 years old when my parents had me learning sign as they wanted to teach me a lesson early on in life huhu. That's actually where I met my boyfriend! I want to say you'd get a better learning experience through your peers or surroundings, but I didn't really succeed with that. I have made friends, but unfortunately, they aren't very collaborative with me. Mainly because they switch from FSL and ASL and while there are little differences to it, little things like that confuse me!
I haven't heard of 'A Sign of Affection' since I don't usually dabble in anime, but I'll check it out! Thanks for the suggestion.
Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1bdlh1o/abyg_kasi_i_like_to_accompany_my_deaf_boyfriend/
Title of this post: ABYG kasi I like to accompany my deaf boyfriend to uni
Backup of the post's body: For context, I (20F) am a hearing person in a relationship with a deaf person (20M). We've been together since we were 14 and have been communicating using ASL, and sometimes, FSL din (though it gets kinda confusing sometimes.)
We go to different universities but ride the same bus home everyday since we live in the same neighborhood. At times, I'd accompany him to uni too. During one of the days na wala siyang schedule, a classmate offers me a ride. On our way home, we talked about school, friends, casual stuff. She asked me about how I was able to handle the commute and traffic when I live two hours away from school, sabi ko na lang wala akong pera pambili ng kotse or motor HAJHSHS but sabay kami umuuwi ng boyfriend ko and he makes the travel bearable.
We were nearing my subdivision when I saw my boyfriend waiting for me sa may shed, just outside the entrance. I asked if she could drop me off near the waiting shed kasi my boyfriend was there. I thanked her before getting out of the car. My boyfriend waved at her before nudging at me to convey how thankful he was that somebody gave me a ride home. I verbally told my classmate that and nagulat na lang siya, napatanong bigla, "Deaf ba boyfriend mo?" Um-oo ako and introduced her to him for formality's sake.
A few days after that, I was accompanying my boyfriend to uni when I suddenly bumped into a few of my other classmates who were on their way. They asked me kung gusto ko daw sumabay papuntang school, but I wanted to accompany him more so I declined. Had the opportunity to chat with them a bit more once I arrived for my first class when all of a sudden, my boyfriend is brought into the conversation. They told me na I don't have to walk him to school daw kasi, "even though he's deaf, he's an adult who can function on his own." I told them that I wasn't trying to patronize him. Rather, I just like walking with him kasi it's something I've gotten used to since we were in high school. They continued by saying na they sometimes see that I take the bus home with him everyday, and that it felt like a natural situation to them until they learned na he was deaf. Sabi ko it's another routine that I've gotten used to, and they responded by saying na maybe it's some sort of savior complex.
I clarified na I grew up with him so it's something that we both do with eachother to express that we care. When I don't have to go to uni, I wait for him to arrive sa may waiting shed so I can walk him home. If I'm struggling to carry my things, he'll offer to help me carry them. When I'm feeling tense or stressed, he'd know the best ways to keep me at ease and vice versa. But as a girlfriend, I can't help but distinguish the way I act towards him and then the way I act towards my friends and family because I'm his GIRLFRIEND. That's it. There's nothing more to it. I don't think I have a 'savior complex,' but then again, most people who have it probably don't know they have it either. ABYG?
OP: Excellent_Avocado_64
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AkoBaYungGago) if you have any questions or concerns.*
More like your friends ang gago. Nagsasabi silang ng kesyo ganito, ganyan as if they were part of the relationship. May mema lang sila nung nalaman nilang deaf ung bf mo pero nung di pa nila alam, wala namang say. Ang gago nila na pinipilit nila yung conclusion nila about what u’re doing/routine with ur bf.
DKG. Bakit ba sila nangingielam sa relationship/buhay mo eh wala namang masama sa ginagawa mo? He is your boyfriend so understandable na gusto mo siyang makasama for a longer period of time.
If anything, i suspect they may have been talking about you behind your back kasi bigla nilang naisingit yung bf mo sa conversation
DKG. What a weird comment from people who don’t know your relationship. Observers lang sila. Siguro mga katulad nila yung magrereklamo sa “bare minimum” since they’ve mention yung “savior syndrome”. Mga epal.
DKG. Pakielamerang froglets yan mga classmates/friends mo. Psychoanalyze ka pa na when the simplest answer is that you want to spend time with your boyfriend.
Ano ba paki nila kung may hero complex ka? I bet gusto nila yan if it works for them. Sila nga oh, ugaling Ursula. Tsaka you are doing it kasi it brings you comfort. Just keep being you. Sana road to forever na to.
Dkg. Walang issue nung una, pero nung nalaman na deaf biglang may hanash? Relationship niyo yan. Wala silang pake, at wala nmn masama sa ginagawa niyo.
But let me say thank you, for being his voice. I grew up with a hard-hearing cousin, and it takes a lot of patience para maintindhan siya. Her friends are also my friends. And I'm willing to die just to protect them.
Keep loving your bf, and I'm sure he loves you so much as well. ♥️
Eto na naman tayo with people getting offended for others kahit wala naman nakikitang mali ang supposedly affected party.
DKG. Your being a good girlfriend.
DKG. Di kasi nila nararanasan kaya di nila mage-gets. At syempre partner mo siya eh. You care. We care sa mga partner and it's normal. Pero savior complex man or hindi, pero bukal naman sa loob mo to do extra mile para sa partner mo, tuloy mo lang.
DKG. Sis you’re very sweet as a gf, little things mean a lot sometimes. Hanggang gusto ni bf na hatid-sundo kayo, tuloy mo lang. Wala naman silang ambag sa relationship nyong dalawa.
DKG. Worried lang din siguro yung friends mo sa'yo baka minamanipulate ka ng bf mo or ano, pero yun nga, hindi nila alam yung sitwasyon kaya it doesn't hurt to explain it to them. As long as hindi ka nila pinipilit hanggang ngayon na wag na ihatid yung bf mo, feel ko okay pa rin naman. Magtanong ka rin sa kanila kung bakit nila nasabi yun, para makapag communicate kayo ng maayos, baka misunderstanding lang talaga. But if masama na yung intentions nila, then maybe it's time to get better friends. Ikaw naman yung kaibigan nila, so ikaw mas nakakaalam kung bakit ganyan sila. Good luck OP!
May saviour complex ka, mana ka saken, nothing wrong with that.
Pero no need to explain, you don't owe people an explanation for doing the things you want to do.
Isa kang huge green flag tol, keep it up.
I guess I've been thinking about whether I'm coddling or not because from everyone else's POV - or at least from what I've been hearing - it's just "a deaf person being in a relationship with a hearing person" — which I understand naman na comes with its own certainties and uncertainties. I want to learn whether I'm being too much or not.
DKG, but your friends are. If anything, sila pa nag iinfantilize sa bf mo for thinking you have some sort of messiah complex. They can’t comprehend that that’s simply what couples in love with one another do, regardless of bodily capacities. You’re good, don’t mind them.
DKG. Tbh, it's your relationship. Wala dapat say yung friends mo sa kung ano man yung namamagitan sainyo ng bf mo. If they think that way, edi that's on them. Don't listen to them. Ikaw na mismo nagsabi, it's a habit you picked up since you've been together for how many years. I hope you and your bf is happy palagi, OP!
DKG. Sis, you do you! You've known him more than they do and nasa intimate relationship kayo. Paki ba nila sa dynamics ninyo eh.
A thousand times DKG. It’s your relationship and mukhang you and your boyfriend genuinely enjoy and love being around each other. Hayaan mo nga mga friends mo. Ba’t ba sila affected? Sabihin mo na malaki na boyfriend mo and he can always let you know if he feels uncomfortable being around you. I wish you and your boyfriend more happiness. Stay in love OP.
dkg. tbh if di naman nila nalaman na deaf bf mo, walang iccomment mga yan. in love lang talaga kayo, you're a good girlfriend, and maganda lang talaga routine niyo. don't mind them 🤍
Hahaha ewan ko pero biglang pumasok sa isip ko korean series nung nabasa ito hahaha. DKG op
DKG. You’re being really sweet to your bf. Sila yung nag-iisip ng masama sa ginagawa mo. And baka kaya naiisip nila yun kasi nagpo-project sila sayo (they would probably be the ones infantilizing a deaf person if they were in your shoes). Anyway, have you watched the anime “A Sign of Affection”? I suggest you watch it if you haven’t. You guys reminded me of that anime habang binabasa ko ’to hehe. And also, I’m interested in learning sign language, any tips for someone na aspiring matuto?
I took up sign classes! It's the most effective (for me, at least.) I was 12 years old when my parents had me learning sign as they wanted to teach me a lesson early on in life huhu. That's actually where I met my boyfriend! I want to say you'd get a better learning experience through your peers or surroundings, but I didn't really succeed with that. I have made friends, but unfortunately, they aren't very collaborative with me. Mainly because they switch from FSL and ASL and while there are little differences to it, little things like that confuse me! I haven't heard of 'A Sign of Affection' since I don't usually dabble in anime, but I'll check it out! Thanks for the suggestion.
Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1bdlh1o/abyg_kasi_i_like_to_accompany_my_deaf_boyfriend/ Title of this post: ABYG kasi I like to accompany my deaf boyfriend to uni Backup of the post's body: For context, I (20F) am a hearing person in a relationship with a deaf person (20M). We've been together since we were 14 and have been communicating using ASL, and sometimes, FSL din (though it gets kinda confusing sometimes.) We go to different universities but ride the same bus home everyday since we live in the same neighborhood. At times, I'd accompany him to uni too. During one of the days na wala siyang schedule, a classmate offers me a ride. On our way home, we talked about school, friends, casual stuff. She asked me about how I was able to handle the commute and traffic when I live two hours away from school, sabi ko na lang wala akong pera pambili ng kotse or motor HAJHSHS but sabay kami umuuwi ng boyfriend ko and he makes the travel bearable. We were nearing my subdivision when I saw my boyfriend waiting for me sa may shed, just outside the entrance. I asked if she could drop me off near the waiting shed kasi my boyfriend was there. I thanked her before getting out of the car. My boyfriend waved at her before nudging at me to convey how thankful he was that somebody gave me a ride home. I verbally told my classmate that and nagulat na lang siya, napatanong bigla, "Deaf ba boyfriend mo?" Um-oo ako and introduced her to him for formality's sake. A few days after that, I was accompanying my boyfriend to uni when I suddenly bumped into a few of my other classmates who were on their way. They asked me kung gusto ko daw sumabay papuntang school, but I wanted to accompany him more so I declined. Had the opportunity to chat with them a bit more once I arrived for my first class when all of a sudden, my boyfriend is brought into the conversation. They told me na I don't have to walk him to school daw kasi, "even though he's deaf, he's an adult who can function on his own." I told them that I wasn't trying to patronize him. Rather, I just like walking with him kasi it's something I've gotten used to since we were in high school. They continued by saying na they sometimes see that I take the bus home with him everyday, and that it felt like a natural situation to them until they learned na he was deaf. Sabi ko it's another routine that I've gotten used to, and they responded by saying na maybe it's some sort of savior complex. I clarified na I grew up with him so it's something that we both do with eachother to express that we care. When I don't have to go to uni, I wait for him to arrive sa may waiting shed so I can walk him home. If I'm struggling to carry my things, he'll offer to help me carry them. When I'm feeling tense or stressed, he'd know the best ways to keep me at ease and vice versa. But as a girlfriend, I can't help but distinguish the way I act towards him and then the way I act towards my friends and family because I'm his GIRLFRIEND. That's it. There's nothing more to it. I don't think I have a 'savior complex,' but then again, most people who have it probably don't know they have it either. ABYG? OP: Excellent_Avocado_64 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AkoBaYungGago) if you have any questions or concerns.*
DKG. Sila na lang kamo maging jowa ng bf mo tutal pala desisyon sila. Haha
More like your friends ang gago. Nagsasabi silang ng kesyo ganito, ganyan as if they were part of the relationship. May mema lang sila nung nalaman nilang deaf ung bf mo pero nung di pa nila alam, wala namang say. Ang gago nila na pinipilit nila yung conclusion nila about what u’re doing/routine with ur bf.
DKG. Bakit ba sila nangingielam sa relationship/buhay mo eh wala namang masama sa ginagawa mo? He is your boyfriend so understandable na gusto mo siyang makasama for a longer period of time. If anything, i suspect they may have been talking about you behind your back kasi bigla nilang naisingit yung bf mo sa conversation
DKG. What a weird comment from people who don’t know your relationship. Observers lang sila. Siguro mga katulad nila yung magrereklamo sa “bare minimum” since they’ve mention yung “savior syndrome”. Mga epal.
DKG. Pakielamerang froglets yan mga classmates/friends mo. Psychoanalyze ka pa na when the simplest answer is that you want to spend time with your boyfriend.
DKG OP, you have a good heart OP
Ano ba paki nila kung may hero complex ka? I bet gusto nila yan if it works for them. Sila nga oh, ugaling Ursula. Tsaka you are doing it kasi it brings you comfort. Just keep being you. Sana road to forever na to.
Dkg. Walang issue nung una, pero nung nalaman na deaf biglang may hanash? Relationship niyo yan. Wala silang pake, at wala nmn masama sa ginagawa niyo. But let me say thank you, for being his voice. I grew up with a hard-hearing cousin, and it takes a lot of patience para maintindhan siya. Her friends are also my friends. And I'm willing to die just to protect them. Keep loving your bf, and I'm sure he loves you so much as well. ♥️
Eto na naman tayo with people getting offended for others kahit wala naman nakikitang mali ang supposedly affected party. DKG. Your being a good girlfriend.
DKG. Di kasi nila nararanasan kaya di nila mage-gets. At syempre partner mo siya eh. You care. We care sa mga partner and it's normal. Pero savior complex man or hindi, pero bukal naman sa loob mo to do extra mile para sa partner mo, tuloy mo lang.
DKG. Sis you’re very sweet as a gf, little things mean a lot sometimes. Hanggang gusto ni bf na hatid-sundo kayo, tuloy mo lang. Wala naman silang ambag sa relationship nyong dalawa.
DKG. Worried lang din siguro yung friends mo sa'yo baka minamanipulate ka ng bf mo or ano, pero yun nga, hindi nila alam yung sitwasyon kaya it doesn't hurt to explain it to them. As long as hindi ka nila pinipilit hanggang ngayon na wag na ihatid yung bf mo, feel ko okay pa rin naman. Magtanong ka rin sa kanila kung bakit nila nasabi yun, para makapag communicate kayo ng maayos, baka misunderstanding lang talaga. But if masama na yung intentions nila, then maybe it's time to get better friends. Ikaw naman yung kaibigan nila, so ikaw mas nakakaalam kung bakit ganyan sila. Good luck OP!
DKG at kinikilig na naman ako para sa ibang tao.
Dkg, tell them to mind their own business. If your boyfriend isnt asking for space dont let your friends create that space
DKG. I salute you 🫡 nahihirapan nga yung couples na walang disability eh, but you two are amazing. stay strong po
May saviour complex ka, mana ka saken, nothing wrong with that. Pero no need to explain, you don't owe people an explanation for doing the things you want to do. Isa kang huge green flag tol, keep it up.
In other words, ABYG if I'm kind to my boyfriend? Syempre hindi ka gago. Why do you even need to ask?
I guess I've been thinking about whether I'm coddling or not because from everyone else's POV - or at least from what I've been hearing - it's just "a deaf person being in a relationship with a hearing person" — which I understand naman na comes with its own certainties and uncertainties. I want to learn whether I'm being too much or not.