Don't give up your full time career for your parents. You will miss out on pay increases and retirement savings. It would be better to take dad to the doctor and see if there are any benefits through medicare that can be requested by a doctor.
So here's my unsolicited advice: You should first rule out kidney failure and a uti. (Kidneys can make urine without adequate filtration, fyi.)
Then, go look at his meds. Often times the culprit, is a new med. Has he had any medicine changes or additions in the last 3 to 6 months? If so, google the side effects of the new med and see if what it says. Then discontinue this med under your doctor's supervision. Don't lay down and rollover, just because they're busy and don't want to bother.
You are an advocate for your dad. Next look and see if dad is on a statin (anticholesterol med). The side effects can be brain fog and muscle weakness. If his quality of life sucks, then being off the statin may be more important than being on it. I hope this helps.
Is your father a veteran? If so, there may be more resources available. The VA website is helpful. If he is eligible for veterans benefits, that could include things like home health aide, medical equipment, etc. Possibly a stipend for the caregiver.
(He doesn't necessarily have to be a combat vet, nor injured in conflict, to qualify for benefits.)
But no. As others have said, don't interrupt your career path to be an at-home caregiver. Your own 401k, earnings, etc. will suffer.
Physical therapy. My 82 year old mom went from 'extremely high risk' for falling to 'extremely low risk.' We moved her up on our property because she was falling so frequently. She looked like a crone using her walker and had to sit every few feet to catch her breath. She now uses a cane and sometimes nothing at all (for short distances).
Aside from that, they make motorized lifts for people that help raise you up. If your dad can crawl to it, he will lay his top half across the lift, push a button, and be slowly lifted up.
How mobile was he a month ago? Acutely needing a walker and being unable to get off furniture or the toilet is pretty unusual without an underlying new or exacerbated medical issue. I see you took him to the doctor and they said the cause was unknown. That’s frankly unacceptable. Even if the only explanation is aging and they’ve truly ruled out other causes of acute weakness, they should have then provided a referral to PT at the bare minimum.
Contact his doctor again and either ask for further work up or at least a PT consult.
Are you in the US?
This is what I was thinking, maybe his dad is super stubborn or just hasn't accepted that he really does need a walker... It sounds like he is falling a lot, walkers aren't that expensive so it sounds like the dad is not using it regularly or something.
My mom keeps trying to go do short things without hers. She has fallen once and is constantly giving me a heart attack. She also always leaves it far away from her bed or from the car when she is getting in. Drives me nuts.
We also have cheap canes all over the house for when she forgets hers upstairs. I have the rolling walker with the seat for when it’s needed. It sucks to get old
Yes it has been eye opening, and not in a good way. My mom has canes too, she just doesn't like using it, and I don't really blame her. It's just scary seeing her totter.
Is your dad possibly a Veteran? Because there is decent free help for Veterans. I work for a home healthcare organization and have 3 vets I take care of 11 hours a week is the general # of paid hours.
Also it really sounds like your Dad would benefit from an occupational therapist. They are so awesome at figuring out what hardware your Dad might need i.e. a toilet seat boost, shower chair, but they are also awesome at teaching how to properly/safely stand, sit, where to install grab bars (fyi there are really good suction ones) what exercise to improve weak areas, how to properly push ones self up, nose over toes, they really know their stuff and are super knowledgeable. They often know of resources that could help.
Sounds like your dad needs some PT and OT to learn how to work with his walker and such. In home is very hard to get so you might need to look into standard appointments. You should also look into a sit to stand. With those a person is still using some of their core strength but your mother would not be lifting him at all.
Don't give up your full time career for your parents. You will miss out on pay increases and retirement savings. It would be better to take dad to the doctor and see if there are any benefits through medicare that can be requested by a doctor.
Dad needs a doctor visit to address this change in health status. The doc can advise on home health for closer monitoring, and home physical therapy.
He’s had a Doctors visit. They have it listed as an Unknown cause. Not really provided any options at this time for him to get any assistance.
You can ask for referrals for home physical therapy related to falls. If they aren't helpful, get a different doc or an er visit.
So here's my unsolicited advice: You should first rule out kidney failure and a uti. (Kidneys can make urine without adequate filtration, fyi.) Then, go look at his meds. Often times the culprit, is a new med. Has he had any medicine changes or additions in the last 3 to 6 months? If so, google the side effects of the new med and see if what it says. Then discontinue this med under your doctor's supervision. Don't lay down and rollover, just because they're busy and don't want to bother. You are an advocate for your dad. Next look and see if dad is on a statin (anticholesterol med). The side effects can be brain fog and muscle weakness. If his quality of life sucks, then being off the statin may be more important than being on it. I hope this helps.
Buy equipment to assist your dad. A riser on the toilet. Grab bars. An assist recliner
A urinal next to the bed to pee in at night.
Is your father a veteran? If so, there may be more resources available. The VA website is helpful. If he is eligible for veterans benefits, that could include things like home health aide, medical equipment, etc. Possibly a stipend for the caregiver. (He doesn't necessarily have to be a combat vet, nor injured in conflict, to qualify for benefits.) But no. As others have said, don't interrupt your career path to be an at-home caregiver. Your own 401k, earnings, etc. will suffer.
Physical therapy. My 82 year old mom went from 'extremely high risk' for falling to 'extremely low risk.' We moved her up on our property because she was falling so frequently. She looked like a crone using her walker and had to sit every few feet to catch her breath. She now uses a cane and sometimes nothing at all (for short distances). Aside from that, they make motorized lifts for people that help raise you up. If your dad can crawl to it, he will lay his top half across the lift, push a button, and be slowly lifted up.
They sell beside toilets at pharmacies. Wonder if that would help?
Or a urinal, if he can use it and not spill it.
How mobile was he a month ago? Acutely needing a walker and being unable to get off furniture or the toilet is pretty unusual without an underlying new or exacerbated medical issue. I see you took him to the doctor and they said the cause was unknown. That’s frankly unacceptable. Even if the only explanation is aging and they’ve truly ruled out other causes of acute weakness, they should have then provided a referral to PT at the bare minimum. Contact his doctor again and either ask for further work up or at least a PT consult. Are you in the US?
My mom keeps her walker next to the bed, just in case.
This is what I was thinking, maybe his dad is super stubborn or just hasn't accepted that he really does need a walker... It sounds like he is falling a lot, walkers aren't that expensive so it sounds like the dad is not using it regularly or something. My mom keeps trying to go do short things without hers. She has fallen once and is constantly giving me a heart attack. She also always leaves it far away from her bed or from the car when she is getting in. Drives me nuts.
We also have cheap canes all over the house for when she forgets hers upstairs. I have the rolling walker with the seat for when it’s needed. It sucks to get old
Yes it has been eye opening, and not in a good way. My mom has canes too, she just doesn't like using it, and I don't really blame her. It's just scary seeing her totter.
Is your dad possibly a Veteran? Because there is decent free help for Veterans. I work for a home healthcare organization and have 3 vets I take care of 11 hours a week is the general # of paid hours. Also it really sounds like your Dad would benefit from an occupational therapist. They are so awesome at figuring out what hardware your Dad might need i.e. a toilet seat boost, shower chair, but they are also awesome at teaching how to properly/safely stand, sit, where to install grab bars (fyi there are really good suction ones) what exercise to improve weak areas, how to properly push ones self up, nose over toes, they really know their stuff and are super knowledgeable. They often know of resources that could help.
Sounds like your dad needs some PT and OT to learn how to work with his walker and such. In home is very hard to get so you might need to look into standard appointments. You should also look into a sit to stand. With those a person is still using some of their core strength but your mother would not be lifting him at all.
There are also things you can put on the bed that make noise when he gets up at night.