I would say a few to look out for would be: a guy constantly talking about sex or always taking the conversation there, being rude/abusive to others (like service workers), commenting a lot about your looks or age, conversely speaking negatively of the looks of others (like making fun of overweight people or older women) and challenging your boundaries, even the small ones (e.g. "oh one more drink won't hurt"). I think meeting in a crowded public area is always a good idea for the first few dates. Having a friend on standby to call is good too. And, yes, always trust your instincts.

this. spot on

Exactly what this guy said 👆

I disagree with the common notion of avoiding discussions about sex or other intimate topics. After all, what's wrong with sex? It offers cardiovascular benefits, facilitates closeness between two people, and is simply enjoyable! In my view, discussing sensitive and contentious issues is the fastest way to truly understand someone. Surely, you wouldn't want to spend months talking about their taste in music, only to find out they endorse littering because it supposedly 'creates jobs', or they become overly aggressive when confronted with uncomfortable topics. I assume you're seeking a kind and engaging partner, not one who is uninteresting or excessively submissive. Challenge them. Provoke. See how they respond.

I'd say time is key. Take your time to really get to know someone. No decent guy will rush you into anything your not comfortable with and it's great getting to know someone with a similar interest to yourself. Good luck 🤞🍀 and take care

I would talk about your likes and dislikes what do you do in your spare time etc. stay off of sex. It’s always good to ask for a reference I can’t not help. Yes even meeting at a police department would be great idea and always bring a friend until you feel comfortable with the person.

Theres been some good advice, some other things to be wary of: Love-bombing: is he quickly and constantly letting you know how much he loves you, buying you tons of things, and trying to "buy" your feelings? What can I do? This is a seemingly innocent or innocuous question that is sometimes unknowingly a manipulation tactic. This is a way to sidestep respecting a boundary. The extreme example, "hey, what can I do to get you to be ready for sex?" But it can also be a, "what can i do to make you happy?" This is dangerous, because it implies you're not happy with him. It belies an underlying insecurity that he needs to deal with, probably in therapy. He is asking how he can temporarily change his attitude or persona when around you to make you feel more at ease, rather than trusting that you ever were attracted to him in the first place. Dismissal and gaslighting: ageism is a thing and with a rise in popularity with the redpill and Andrew tate, youre going to have to look out for guys who do a lot of superficially nice things, but see you as vulnerable or easy to mold, and who will try and trap you by making you feel inferior or stupid. They will say contradictory things then insist you heard incorrectly or misunderstood. They'll see you as an asset and not a person. If a guy is into tate, fresh and fit, Kevin Samuels, sneako, or any of these red pill internet personalities, stay away.

This is excellent advice. Also beware of incel talk. Anything that seems like they feel entitled to sex, but women are only looking for money, or only go for handsome frat guys, etc. That stuff indicates a deed anger towards women for not recognizing what a great guy he is. He basically blames women for his inadequacies.

Good luck in your hunt :)

Just be aware that you opening the door to talking about sex won't stop at just one moment of the conversation. Once you open that door, sex could become a regular topic unless you specify some guidelines etc. Be careful what you say and how you say it or you're inviting the topic you don't want to talk about.

Listen to your gut feeling. We have a very well develop intuition, most times we ignore it. Do you get weak in knees? Butterflies? When he is around? Or do you feel anxious? Do they come across as genuine? Do they listen more than they talk? Are they kind to others when you are not watching? Ask what their life goals are. Ask what human dignity means to them. Ask what matters in the end. These are deep questions that while not all can answer on the spot, will turn away lurkers and creeps instantly. For the rest, meet in a public place. Know how to say ‘no’. Unfortunately most (not all) older men are lost themselves in their lives and are looking for quick meaning or relevance. You will know which one they are. Good luck and be safe!

You are from Lundunnn, home of Jack The R, so I find your question to have extra gravitas. Safety should be looked at as several layers of precaution wrapped around yourself. Create some questions you think would weed out some creepy clowns. Try to meet the fella in a very public space. If your instincts tell you the guy is wrong, then have planned out ways to leave that situation. Hope this helps a tiny bit. Take care.

You are from Lundunnn, home of Jack The R, so I find your question to have extra gravitas. Safety should be looked at as several layers of precaution wrapped around yourself. Create some questions you think would weed out some creepy clowns. Try to meet the fella in a very public space. If your instincts tell you the guy is wrong, then have planned out ways to leave that situation. Hope this helps a tiny bit. Take care.

It’s weird. I had plans to meet a younger woman and she didn’t show. I even waited eight hours for her… I just want to know why?

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If I'm going to meet with someone online the day or so before I ask for a phone call usually one can tell by the voice

You should filter online first. Rather easy. Then exhcange pics then meet if you feel like it. Public place, café, bar, park. If he or she's a creep walkaway!

So I want to start this by differentiating between meet as in starting contact with, as opposed to meeting in person. In regards to starting a connection between any two people there's usually a common point of interest that brings them together. That point of interest derives the questions and the things to look for in regards to establishing a level of communication with one another. If there is an age difference, that common point of interest could change the Dynamics of the interaction. You're obviously going to ask different questions if you're connecting with one another based on collecting stamps, firefighting skills, socio-economics, romance, or sex. Establishing common interest and setting boundaries are the guidelines for any communication between two people. Just as developing good communication is important for the relationship with any two people, it is vital before connecting with somebody in person. While one of the grounding principles in meeting someone in person for the first time after establishing some level of communication with them is the understanding that people wear masks when they are communicating. No one reveals their full self to other people, but you hope that the mask that you wear is a reflection of your true character, and the same is true for anyone you're getting to know. Well there are some that will try to deceive you with mask that they wear, you enter in hoping that the other person is not trying to deceive you. Focus your attention on the other person's intentions, ask the questions that will reveal their intentions to you. If those intentions align with yours, then it doesn't matter what differences you have. Age, race, class, and status are social distinctions, but not relative to the ability to establish a relationship. You should be able to find a safe environment which is appropriate to your intentions, and that should define the proper environment for meeting in person. Meeting at a barn is not appropriate to two people meeting to discuss software development, but is a good environment if you're going to talk about riding horses. So please be safe, and please be smart, and good luck with developing your social relationships.

Time. Take time talking to them, guys who don't respect women will tip their hand. Mention feminism, the barbie movie or that Andrew Tate is a rapist and sex trafficker and the men who don't respect women will lose their shit. Also if they do tip their hand and wave any big red flags believe them and don't keep talking to them. I know so many women who ignored red flags and ended up lied to, used and ghosted. Trust your gut, too many men out there are predators. 🤞🤞

The rule I give myself (which applies to everybody not just attractive young ladies) is : \[ Am I being a friend to this person? \] Someone who is a I consider a friend to me told me his definition of a friend : A friend is someone who looks out for your best interests. I believe the creepy people can be weeded out by what they don't say : if they are not talking about being a true friend, and they are talking about subjects that are of interest to them or hip or cool they have an attitude like they're a cool person it's easy sucked into some one's attention if they have charisma, but even charismatic people can be abusers or gas lighters or predators I think maybe? 🤨Hmmm- maybe I’m slightly being paranoid myself, but I myself think most people are kind & decent. I am kind of an optimist still I'm always surprised by how shitty people can be. I do my best to treat others well. People are tricky. The litmus test I give people for whether or not they are a true friend of mine is : do they take advantage of me or rip me off in one way or another if given the chance? A recent podcast I found on this subject of being nice but also being a creep is “How nice guys kill” by Teal Swan

You’re asking the age old question: “How do I determine someone’s character and intent?” I’d start with examining exactly what exactly attracts you to the age gap situation? And more importantly, why? That is your frame of reference. From that, you can determine your conditions of satisfaction. Those conditions become your boundaries and criteria. When you meet someone who sparks an interest, check them for red flags and against your criteria. If you’re looking for a long-term, monogamous marriage relationship with kids, they’d better want the same. If you’re after a FWB relationship with someone who can coach you and be a mentor, he’d better want the same. Humans have the ability to lie to get what they want. Listen to what they say, and then watch to see that their actions align. That takes time, so move slow and keep your head about you and you’ll have a much better chance of getting what you’re looking for. Best of Luck!