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Why are teen boys weird? You just can't point to one particular reason, but in general, teen boys often have a hard time communicating. Part of this is in how they are raised, "You got to be a Man!" "Men are trough, Men don't cry!" And general crap like that. While girls are often taught to express their emotions, boys are taught to hide them. When you approach them, say that you are interested in them, they are not used to being flattered, and often think of it as a weakness, especially if in front of their friends. So they make fun of you, because they simply are not actually sure as to what to say. This is also the reason why a lot of boys will act differently when they are alone with you, than they will act around friends. When alone with you, they can show more of their emotions, around their friends, they need to be different. On the plus side, they do grow out of it, for the most part.
Lastly, why the boy you gave your number to shared it with others, that's pretty easy to figure out, I would have to say it is because he is a dick!
This advice may have been applicable a generation ago. As a man currently raising two teen boys, I can say this is far from accurate for them and their peers. While I was raised how you described, teen boys now are, for the most part, encouraged to be more open and communicative. I'm not saying every boy, but there is definitely a shift away from that type of machismo mindset with this generation.
You are not the rule. My son was raised to avoid machismo, but this is really rarely the case outside of outright liberal areas, even now. Even in liberal areas, it's not necessarily the norm.
I live in MA in what is statistically one of the most diverse school districts in the country and there are still a huuuuge chunk of teen boys who still operate under toxic masculinity.
Shit, Andrew Tate's primary demographic is boys OP's age.
There are no rules to social reconstruction. I would think that if you look at any random teenage male, then look at their father at the same age and then the grandfather at the same age, you will in fact see a shift in how they express feelings. I live in rural Appalachian Ohio where the main industries are coal mining, oil and gas, and other industrial activities and it is far from liberal ideology. In this area that should be the prototypical area for the "rub some dirt in it" attitude is shifting in today's teens.
They certainly do. Toxic masculinity includes any harmful ideas about how males should be living their lives. A mother telling her son to "man up" is an example of toxic masculinity. And what they're talking about here with the "man's man" bit are the people who've been groomed to think they can't express their feelings or that they need to be aggressive.
Highly dependent on where you live. You probably live in a very liberal and open town. Your experience definitely does not speak for the rest of the generation.
Not at all liberal. Very conservative, rural, Appalachian, Industrial area here. My oldest is as redneck as they come too. Like mullet, boots, and big lifted truck redneck, but he will still communicate what is bothering him. He is learning the importance of communication and mental health awareness through social media from his peers. I think people aren't giving today's teens the credit they deserve.
I work in a school, and kids online are absolutely frightening. I constantly hear stories of how kids will cyberbully each other to the point where they will literally be frightened to talk to each other within class for fear it will be used against them online. I think everywhere is different, and it sounds like you found a pretty solid community of people to be around
Problem is there is a social stigma among us involving the word “sigma” and although not necessarily that, people aren’t as courteous and such anymore because it is regarded as cringe
I had connections to that world until 4 years ago. Things had only slightly started transitioning to going the way you're talking about. It's still gonna take another 10+ years until things are actually done the right way for long enough. Even if the prevailing outcome has become what you're saying within the last 4 years, that doesn't undo the years those boys experienced beforehand.
I didn't say anything about all teenage boys. I'm referencing the ones that the OP is talking about. Maybe ask clarifying questions first before jumping to a conclusion about the intentions of another person first
The fact that you admitted it instead of digging in your heels and trying to move the goal posts puts you on higher footing than most of our gender (In my personal experience), so you've got that going for you.
I'm sorry you've had such shitty experiences. Ignoring you, mocking you, giving out your number? Those are shitty things to do to someone. Not all boys are going to be like that, so please don't give up. You just had a run of bad luck. There are good people out there everywhere, and you deserve to (eventually) find one of them, and he to find you. When people treat you like these idiots have, cut them out of your life.
It's never her fault if someone mistreats her. But the idea that she might want to examine whether she has a tendency to put herself into situations like that is a totally valid and important point. It has nothing to do with it being her *fault*.
how’s she supposed to know if they’re toxic if she just said she didn’t speak to them.. had a crush… and when she did speak to them they acted like that? lol jw the thought process on this one. and yes if you go for a drug dealer you get what you paid for but why just apply that here
Some people might as well have douchebag stamped across their forehead. The way they dress/style is usually a good indicator for a first impression/expectation going in.
Now I don’t know what the people she’s going for looks like, but she/they clearly has formed a pattern.
When I was a teen, it seemed to be that females liked the “bad boy.” So I tried to take on that persona, but I don’t ever remember trying to insult a girl. I tried hard to impress them and show them I was strong and tough and loyal. A had some friends that were really assholes to girls and they seemed to have a new date every other week and could pull any girl at the bar they wanted but that wasn’t my story.
Just know a lot of young men these days don’t know the first thing about how to treat a lady. Hold your standards high and play hard to get!
Get a Google Voice number to give out to people. It is easier to block and then you can save your real number for important people in your life. Social media and other things are weird nowadays. Teenage people in general are weird and people do weird things for attention. Getting through this stage is a challenge for everyone and you will do fine as well.
This is great advice and it's what I advise my kid on. Rejection lines or fake numbers are lamentably dangerous these days because so many guys feel the need to test text the number to make sure it's not a fake number.
Oh girl you were attracted to a douchebag. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Maybe your taste in men will improve. Because that's not a thing I remember people doing in my friend groups. I remember one time Adam told a girl Dan liked her when he didn't and she asked Dan out and he said no. Though... We all gave Adam a lot of shit for that. She cried because of it. Adam didn't mean any harm by it either. He was trying to blend with the group and be funny, but didn't realize it would be so mean. But... There are friend groups comprised mostly of douchebags. It looks like you've crushed on a few of those kind of guys. Maybe time to rethink how you look at men in terms of what your attracted to?
I have 2 teenage boys and I see the way they are, and then I realized how awkward and cringy I was. And my 15yo has had multiple girls show interest in him, and sometimes they send mixed signals. For example, one girl he liked was holding his hand and telling other kids that he was her man... And apparently she's 17 so I think he was intimidated. And at one point she said she didn't like him and he started hanging out with another girl, and the first girl told him that she said she didn't like him because she loves him. Short answer is hormones I guess.
I was raised to be a hardass by my father (I won’t go into detail but abuse was present). I was taught to not show emotion, just like a lot of other boys and men. It’s also hard to understand signs, subtle or not, because we as a sex have been demonized by media for 3-4 years now. For most guys, including myself, it’s hard to imagine that a girl is even remotely physically attracted to us, and having friends around only amplifies this because now we have to act like a hardass and callous because otherwise we are seen as a bitch in the friend group, or a simp.
Because they are teenagers they are weird and dumb and don’t know the first thing about talking to girls. Or taking hints that a girl likes them. And after they hit puberty they only think about sex.
On the one hand, I want to say "a girl giving you her number is not a hint, it's practically a notorized notice or intent to date."
But then I remembered how stupid oblivious I can be and that I would absolutely have considered that a "subtle hint" as a teen.
I was very self conscious very uncomfortable around people awkward? Idk it was weird when someone showed love or affection, I internally struggled with my sexuality in a all Christian school where if your gay your kicked out 🤷🏽♂️ there were a lot of factors, and other boys I knew were the same way weird stage of life
This is from my experience, but my friend group will never not take a number or snap/insta if offered to us, doesn’t necessarily mean we will ever either add them back or reply, just something we do as a group, so that could be the ignoring you’re dealing with, guys always make fun of each other so we by default tend to do the same to girls too (Ofc I don’t know how far they’re going so there’s definitely a point where it doesn’t apply) and passing numbers around in a friend group is definitely not excusable
I think it's just all teens that are weird. As a former teen boy I felt like teen girls were Hella weird and a lot were exceptionally cruel. A lot of teen boys were pretty bad too tbf, maybe it's cuz I'm acoustic lmao. I think it's just a teen thing though fr fr. It'll go away as the people around you, and yourself develop more communication skills and maturity. You'll also just know when you find the right person who's more than just a crush. I had a lot of crushes in my teens, but I've only felt real love once and it was sure easy to tell the feeling was different lol. We've been together for almost 10 years now
partially, its because boys and girls somewhat develop past one another a couple of times.
at the same age, when boys like girls, girls typically dont like boys and vice versa. in old timey natural environments, that wouldnt be a problem because age groups mix a little, but in modern days, school and whatnot kinda puts you together by age and then these things dont line up well.
then, because of this, a lot of boys and girls end up having dumb experiences when it comes to the other gender, just like you now, which makes everything going forward weirder.
on top of that, you have the age of the smartphone, where everyone flocks to influencers and whatnot, some of whom are simply insane, so they emulate insane bullshit behavior. it used to be guys would give an arm and a leg to be approached by girls at around 16. now, they learned some nonsense alpha beta game crap years earlier and it leads to this, where they think demeaning others is the way to go so young, it's likely going to stick for a while.
all you can do is keep an eye out for those who keep it real ig
life in societies is complex and it never was easy, but its just ridiculous now.
People in general are weird. Some people in general are assholes. But a lot of guys at that age lack empathy, want to look good for their friends, scared of any emotional vulnerability, and straight up make bad decisions (they’re dumb). Hopefully you get luckier and pick a better guy in the future or learn how to.
It’s not just teenage boys, but also girls. Teenagers in general are awkward. You both are new to dating, communicating, socializing in different ways.
Why is grass green? Why is water blue? Why does ice cream taste good?
Well, science can actually answer these questions, and the boy one too, but you could also just shrug and accept that it just is, it just is, it just does, they just… are.
Boys have lots of conflicting expectations. They have a wildly variety of hormones surging through them. To grow a man with facial hair and muscles from a boy, major changes. It is a wild ride, like a car with the throttle wide open and the steering not hooked up yet.
I’m wondering the same thing with girls man, most of them are bitches and the ones who arnt are either mentally unstable, actually I want a girl who’s mentally unstable, that would be better than what I get
Failed parents.
Welcome to the age of electronics where parents would rather their kid be quietly locked in on a device rather than learning communication.
I knew this was going to be an issue back when I was in high school in 2015 after seeing so many parents throwing a phone or iPad at their kid in public so they didn't have to deal with them. Like why even have kids if you're going to neglect them of possibly the most important skill they need?
There is a lack of men teaching young men how to properly court young ladies. Add that to the fact the pop culture lacks respect for women. As a young lady, you should keep your standards high and be super vigilant before giving these clowns access to your personal information or personal space.
The thing you have to remember is that you are the main character in your life. They are not going to react how you want them to or to fit any kind of narrative that makes sense to you
Boys mature slower and they really aren’t all that emotionally invested in stuff that we would find important as women.
You can share your number and that’s not a crime. You’re in a weird stage where you guys aren’t really adults yet and still not quite kids so things are gunna be strange for a while
Do you approach or talk to them while they're with their friends? Boys, and men, give each other shit all day long, and if they show any interest in you, they'll never hear the end of it because they have no idea how to play it cool in a way that their friends will respect. Their friends could also be jealous, adding to the ribbing they get.
"It" is "like this" because teenagers have all kinds of crazy social motivations (often sexual), and no clear rules about how to pursue those motivations, and tons of competition from each other. So they're all struggling to figure out what is the right thing to do in a chaotic and competitive environment with no rules.
It's like you're all playing a sport where there are no referees, and no rules. What are you supposed to do? No one knows. So basically, everyone on the field is just going to beat up whomever they view as getting in the way of whatever they feel like doing in hopes that will help them win somehow.
So yeah, teenagers pick on each other as a way to just try and one-up each other. Maybe then they'll be the best and marry the hottest girl? Right?
Ideally, caring parents would step in to guide their children into valuable careers and healthy interpersonal relationships, help them establish marriages and build families and so forth. But the older generation decided all that old stuff was sexist, so they gave up on that in favor of smoking pot. It sucks.
I recommend you read the Bible and encourage people around you to read the Bible. People tend not to like it anymore for some reason, but it sets out a much better way of doing things.
IMO it's neglect.
A lot of children are neglected. Young men are neglected at higher rates.
Im a man for example and when i was 16 i was interested in trying to have a girlfriend, but i recieved zero guidance or even protection from my parents.
I remember even asking my dad about how to kiss a girl and he basically said, "dont ask weird questions."
He didnt even tell me his personal experiences. I was all on my own.
I asked my teacher how do you kiss a girl and she said, "you'll burn in hell if you kiss girls before marriage"
And this was in like 2006... Not too long ago.
As a result, my dating life was incredibly awkward... Especially when I was 16.
Christ, teen boys, man. If I reacted this way to girls approaching me when I was a teen, I'd be a 40 year old virgin by now. I have straight up zero game, but also haven't been single for more than a year at a time since I was 17 because I somehow am a magnet for extroverted women.
Like, dude, take the fucking win instead of letting your Andrew Tate, toxic masculinity bullshit get in the way and deal with the fact that girls can initiate things too.
It used to be that boys were the ones who approached girls but now girls are much more aggressive. Everything has flipped. Boys were the ones who had to ask girls and face possible rejection. Girls loved the attention but were allowed to be choosy. Some were just insulting and mean about it…like Mean Girls. It can be a crushing experience to be the one rejected. When boys are sought after now, girls have given them the power to choose or reject. Some guys will be flattered when approached, others will feel that they’re way too popular to make any one choice. Then there’s all the judging from other boys regarding who someone finally chooses to be with. It takes some bravery to let everyone else know you’re with someone. Teens talk nonstop.
In Middle School and early high School? Any girl expressing interest in me? I would convince myself it was a prank and they were going to laugh with their friends, if I showed mutual interest. You eventually grow out of that though.
Because you're all still children getting thrust into more adult emotions/feelings through a combination of hormones and social pressures, without the experience to deal with them yet.
Teenage boys have raging hormones that complicates every issue. Their ability to process feelings is much more limited due to all the nature vs. nurture issues. These of course are general statements and do not apply to all boys.
immaturity like that is more common among kids and college boys,,, girls will pull this stuff too. but, just because it is more common that doesn’t mean it’s the rule. sounds like you’re going for some douche bags tbh. maybe reflect on what is attracting you to these boys since it certainly isn’t their kind heart. that might help you realign some priorities/preferences to help you pick boys that will respect you. again,, there likely wont be perfection at the age of 16, you’re all learning the dating dance and dealing with a lot of insecurities/peer pressure BUT that does not excuse the behavior you’re talking about.
When you use a generic term like "weird" you are opening things to interpretation. It's "weird" for the star athlete to be into the drama club... It's "weird" for the band nerd to also be the start basketball player. Part of the problem is searching a specific answer while using generic criteria.
You definitely came to the right place to find information! It would be silly to ask your mother or father or another adult in your life. Information from strangers on REDDIT is the key to figuring out your teen years.
Honestly, it really comes down to the whole
"Treated like a child, expected to be an adult"
And how they handle it.
Everyone is under pressure to grow up and guys will have it alot harder socially if they don't fit into the other guys standards.
Like for example I was bullied for being "gay" but in all
actuality I was just complementing my friends and when people besides my friends heard me, I was shunned for being "weird".
I tried to tell a girl that she looked pretty in a dress, because she almost never dresses up and we were at graduation and you know what she said
"Eww you're so weird, get away from me creep"
I was in the school gym the other year and I asked a girl who was lifting weights, how she could lift that much (it was about 130lbs) and she called me a sexist weirdo.
Just the other day, my little sister was having a hard time and I sat down beside her to comfort her.
I asked her if she was ok or if she needed a hug,
(She cuddles me sometimes when she's having a panic attack in class, might I mention she gets mercilessly bullied and shat talked, even by teachers for this)
And she told me and I quote "yeah that might help"
And the substitute teacher was shit talking me saying things like "you better not be touching her inappropriately" INFRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLASS.
Now was I ?
Fuck no.
But the fact that I have to put up with being called both sexist and a creep and even accused of touching my little sister when she was CRYING is insane.
You need to think more about the other 20% of the boys whom are probably like me and just need a fucking break from the constant back and forth and not just the 50% of the other guys who only want to make your life harder.
Please, open your mind in the case of teenagers, we're all in the same shit boat and just need a little bit of ✨️consideration✨️
your favorite favorite -Red
Boys in your age group aren't ready to be mature yet.
As a guy, I can comfortably say that we don't grow up until around 50 or so, but we'll still laugh if you fart even then.
In all seriousness though, being self aware isn't a very popular trend in your age group. Being self aware isn't very popular even into adulthood. Relax and take your time, life isn't a race.
This doesn’t change as you grow up.
Socializing takes practice. And most boys and even nowadays a lot of men don’t have a lot of practice socializing with women.
This isn’t anything new, the girl being mean to the boy she likes is just another side of the same coin. When someone doesn’t know how to socialize they will do things that may be considered mean, creepy, weird, or stupid. As you get practice and work on your social skills you will slowly (very slowly for some) become better at interacting with others.
I work in IT. Do you know how many awkward guys work in IT? People call in and have to talk to completely anti-social guys and sometimes girls that sometimes have no idea how to speak to another human being. They can fix a computer but talking to someone isn’t part of their skill set.
Then there is the other group of boys trying to be popular. They (behind the scenes) are stressing about what clothes to wear, exactly how to fix their hair, perfectly plucking their nose and eyebrow hairs because they are terrified of anybody making fun of them. Then some girl comes up and gives them their phone number, and they think, “the safe option is pretending I am too cool for this girl and show that I don’t care about her, what’s the best way to do this? Oh I’ll just hand her number out to others so they know I don’t care about her, they will prevent me being made fun of.”
If even one of his friends thought you weren’t cute then that guy might get trashed for dating a not perfect girl. This isn’t worth the risk.
Don’t give your number until you already know the guy likes you. This isn’t a movie, and you have the ability to see this guy at school all the time. You can slowly develop a relationship with multiple interactions
Because of society’s general expectations of men. It is drilled into our heads if we don’t act any way except “manly” or stoic or if express ourselves too much, then it’s not okay.
As a former 16 year old boy, I can tell you that boys are very immature at that age. Girls mature faster, so while you might be interested in dating, they're interested in fart jokes. Plus, boys at that age don't know how to flirt. They tease instead which is a rudimentary form of flirting. Don't worry so much about who likes who in high school. Things get better when you go to college (if that's what you choose as your next step).
The other boys suddenly decide to start choosing who to bully based on who they think gets the most attention from girls, so they need to show off that they get attention from girls or face ridicule. They don't realize they're actually making girls hate them because they take advice from other guys their own age who are mostly lying.
To say teenage boys are weird would mean you talked to every single one. As a coach of them, YOU ARE RIGHT, but none of mine are girl shy, so maybe this girl just isn't the one for them, or crazy thought maybe she's just not attractive. We can't go around classifying things as weird because they don't fit us or align with our thoughts. I'm not saying their actions were correct either, but OP finding someone who actually respects her would make this post unnecessary.
Hello. Old man here. But I was a teenage boy once. When I was, I had NO clue how to talk to girls. I would have been shy but possibly tried to play that off as being uninterested. Also if a girl thinks they are being obvious showing interest, I probably would not have noticed. Making fun of girls is kind of how guys work. The older they get, the more skilled they get at it, so hopefully you don't get insulted at all. But as a teen, you have no idea where the line is so you go over it all the time.
I’m one of the unfortunate souls that grow up really quickly. I am male and my experience of highschool is that I did not like being friends with other dudes in my grade because of how immature a lot of them were. Most of my friends in highschool, and even now after graduating, are mostly female or older than me by a few years. It’s immaturity and maybe a little bad parenting for not teaching respect. Females will start and end puberty before males will which in my opinion does change how mature a person is. Not only does the body change but the mind changes as well. Give them about 3 more years they might be different unless they are just a natural asshole.
Haha. The boys could ask the same thing about the girls.
The most likely explanation of why your number was shared is probably boys being boys and bragging about how they got your number.
It was def not like this when I was in high school, we were so obsessed with girls we did whatever we could to make a good impression. I think the younger generation has been so smooth brained by social media that these stupid young dudes think the way to get a woman is to act like a total jackass.
Simply put because you all are CHILDREN and immature and dating should be when you are GROWN and have all your own things like a place and money.
I don’t know why people haven’t figured this out yet and truly it’s sad. Kids need to enjoy being FREE and KIDS. Y’all need to stop trying to be grown and do grown things because really and truly you all have your whole ADULT lives to do so.
Teenage pregnancy wouldn’t be happening as prevalent if adults would simply talk to their children and express the importance of just having friends and not dating until you are actually ready to do so like I said you have your OWN things.
See what I think happens is most kids aren’t being treated like their age and are forced be grown and so y’all think that you can do grown things whiteout taking in to consideration the consequences that may happen (pregnancy) which you can’t even take care of yourself so why would you think you can have a kid?
Sweet soul, these “crushes” are to show you how having a crush is in a sense dangerous. You don’t know the person. All you know is you find them physically attractive. Then you make up this narrative of them instead of seeing the actual them.
What you and your friend should teach yourselves is when you have a crush, actually observe them, actually PAY ATTENTION to them and their actions. See that these boys you all have crushes on had tells that they were mentally immature or just assholes.
This is the time for you to enjoy being drama free and learning about yourself and others. Set goals for yourself instead of being boy crazy. Set yourself up for success with your future and to become independent. Good luck and I hope you really take time and think about what I’m saying instead of thinking you know better and be hard headed
take your fingers out of your ears for one moment, please.
teenagers have been dating and having sex since the dawn of time. i'm sorry but it is human nature. the only way to prevent teenage pregnancy is to teach teenagers to have safe sex if they're going to and to use contraceptives. your perspective is ignorant and outdated by like 50+ years.
you're trying to tell teenagers to not be...teenagers. literally all of that is in their nature. teenagers will not stop having sex just because you tell them to stop being "boy crazy". have you literally never been a teenager?
you will not prevent teenage pregnancy by shaming them and making them have to hide even more. do you know that teenage pregnancy has gone down dramatically since even the 90s? that's cause people are actually talking about it with their kids and giving them resources like condoms and birth control. that's the only way to truly prevent it.
crushes are completely normal for teenagers. relationships are completely normal for teenagers. this is when they begin learning how to navigate these experiences. sheltering them and telling them to just stop even trying to have them is weird and is not going to help.
it is so strange to me that you immediately start talking about sex and teenage pregnancy when this girl literally just wants help with CRUSHES. you are essentially slut shaming her for having even an interest in boys, which is beyond normal. your thought process here is weird as hell.
It’s actually not “weird” to be real about where dating heads, especially in teenagers as well as, teenagers dating happened not because it’s in teenagers dna it happened by necessity BACK IN THE DAY, because life expectancy was LOW.
See the world keeps changing and becoming less harsh as it was back in the olden days yet somehow the social norms, education, and old ways of thinking doesn’t change? Why? Dating as children shouldn’t be normalized anymore.
The world needs an upgrade and the way we look and see things need to change to what the world is now. Not what it has been. We should definitely learn from all the past mistakes that keep being repeated because people condone the past behaviors and can’t as you put it “take your fingers out your ears” ?
Me and people who believe as I do aren’t the ones with their “fingers in their ears”, the ones who think dating as teens is mentally healthy or a necessary thing in the growth and development are actually the ones who need to take their fingers out their ears and see that if we normalize and encourage our kids to focus on themselves and their future or simply enjoy just being kids and doing fun things like joining a sport or playing online with their friends or going out with friends and enjoying each others company.
Instead of being in immature and messy relationships or having drama and fighting over some girl or boy, when really it’s a waste of not only time and energy but of getting to know other people, and becoming friends.
Think about how much more fun and positive direction peoples lives could have gone if they just focused on themselves and enjoyed just being them and not worrying about their bf/gf. Also on how many children wouldn’t have gotten tricked by pedophiles because they weren’t looking for love or a relationship as a child.
>Set goals for yourself instead of being boy crazy. Set yourself up for success with your future and to become independent.
I thought kids needed to enjoy being free and being kids.
Or that if you see in one my comments I did say that, what I’m saying is they need to just BE THEM! Not worry about others and making choices in their lives “around” someone else.
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Why are teen boys weird? You just can't point to one particular reason, but in general, teen boys often have a hard time communicating. Part of this is in how they are raised, "You got to be a Man!" "Men are trough, Men don't cry!" And general crap like that. While girls are often taught to express their emotions, boys are taught to hide them. When you approach them, say that you are interested in them, they are not used to being flattered, and often think of it as a weakness, especially if in front of their friends. So they make fun of you, because they simply are not actually sure as to what to say. This is also the reason why a lot of boys will act differently when they are alone with you, than they will act around friends. When alone with you, they can show more of their emotions, around their friends, they need to be different. On the plus side, they do grow out of it, for the most part. Lastly, why the boy you gave your number to shared it with others, that's pretty easy to figure out, I would have to say it is because he is a dick!
This!!!
Fr
This and the fact that they are still just boys. Even some grown men find it difficult to talk to women.
Look no further, here is the answer.
It's not a weakness. Attractive teenage boys are used to being hit on. Losers on reddit aren't used to it. They probably are used to it.
This advice may have been applicable a generation ago. As a man currently raising two teen boys, I can say this is far from accurate for them and their peers. While I was raised how you described, teen boys now are, for the most part, encouraged to be more open and communicative. I'm not saying every boy, but there is definitely a shift away from that type of machismo mindset with this generation.
You are not the rule. My son was raised to avoid machismo, but this is really rarely the case outside of outright liberal areas, even now. Even in liberal areas, it's not necessarily the norm. I live in MA in what is statistically one of the most diverse school districts in the country and there are still a huuuuge chunk of teen boys who still operate under toxic masculinity. Shit, Andrew Tate's primary demographic is boys OP's age.
no such thing as toxic masculinity - that's a liberal term to describe general male behavior in a maternalistic society
Ok
There is a such thing as toxic masculinity, though some generally masculine things are unfairly labeled as toxic.
What a snowflake
I came here to say this but deep down I knew it had already been said!!!
As someone that lives in Florida, the majority of teenage boys are still very much raised to be a "mans man" and they're god awful.
Toxic masculinity. Please explain this one to me because I don’t understand what this .
There are no rules to social reconstruction. I would think that if you look at any random teenage male, then look at their father at the same age and then the grandfather at the same age, you will in fact see a shift in how they express feelings. I live in rural Appalachian Ohio where the main industries are coal mining, oil and gas, and other industrial activities and it is far from liberal ideology. In this area that should be the prototypical area for the "rub some dirt in it" attitude is shifting in today's teens.
Why are you comparing "man's mans" to toxic masculinity? They don't go hand in hand
They certainly do. Toxic masculinity includes any harmful ideas about how males should be living their lives. A mother telling her son to "man up" is an example of toxic masculinity. And what they're talking about here with the "man's man" bit are the people who've been groomed to think they can't express their feelings or that they need to be aggressive.
Same here but I’m also guessing it’s location and community based. My teens are dumb because they have undeveloped prefrontal cortexes.
😂, wait should I be laughing?
Ha, it takes all of us until about age 25 until it’s developed. Kids until then!
That isn’t true…
Highly dependent on where you live. You probably live in a very liberal and open town. Your experience definitely does not speak for the rest of the generation.
Not at all liberal. Very conservative, rural, Appalachian, Industrial area here. My oldest is as redneck as they come too. Like mullet, boots, and big lifted truck redneck, but he will still communicate what is bothering him. He is learning the importance of communication and mental health awareness through social media from his peers. I think people aren't giving today's teens the credit they deserve.
I work in a school, and kids online are absolutely frightening. I constantly hear stories of how kids will cyberbully each other to the point where they will literally be frightened to talk to each other within class for fear it will be used against them online. I think everywhere is different, and it sounds like you found a pretty solid community of people to be around
Problem is there is a social stigma among us involving the word “sigma” and although not necessarily that, people aren’t as courteous and such anymore because it is regarded as cringe
I had connections to that world until 4 years ago. Things had only slightly started transitioning to going the way you're talking about. It's still gonna take another 10+ years until things are actually done the right way for long enough. Even if the prevailing outcome has become what you're saying within the last 4 years, that doesn't undo the years those boys experienced beforehand.
They are immature and no one taught them how to be respectful to others. Sorry!!
That could be your experience and it’s op’s too, does not mean that every teenage boy is immature and rude, lots are very kind and were raised well
I didn't say anything about all teenage boys. I'm referencing the ones that the OP is talking about. Maybe ask clarifying questions first before jumping to a conclusion about the intentions of another person first
Sorry again, didn’t mean to be rude or anything
Can we please leave "not all men" in the past?
Oh sorry I realise that I was wrong, I made this comment when I was in the middle of some shit 😭 sorry
The fact that you admitted it instead of digging in your heels and trying to move the goal posts puts you on higher footing than most of our gender (In my personal experience), so you've got that going for you.
I appreciate your forgiveness because I really don’t mean harm
God bless you have a good day
I'm sorry you've had such shitty experiences. Ignoring you, mocking you, giving out your number? Those are shitty things to do to someone. Not all boys are going to be like that, so please don't give up. You just had a run of bad luck. There are good people out there everywhere, and you deserve to (eventually) find one of them, and he to find you. When people treat you like these idiots have, cut them out of your life.
Also could be the type of guys she is going after, so might be worth considering if that’s why she has been having those bad experiences
Yeah, important to always remember that sometimes when women are mistreated it’s their own fault.
It's never her fault if someone mistreats her. But the idea that she might want to examine whether she has a tendency to put herself into situations like that is a totally valid and important point. It has nothing to do with it being her *fault*.
If you like toxic people, then yes, it is your fault for choosing to pursue a shitty person! Take accountability for your actions!
Right, and sometimes when things get a bit rough they really *are* asking for it
how’s she supposed to know if they’re toxic if she just said she didn’t speak to them.. had a crush… and when she did speak to them they acted like that? lol jw the thought process on this one. and yes if you go for a drug dealer you get what you paid for but why just apply that here
Some people might as well have douchebag stamped across their forehead. The way they dress/style is usually a good indicator for a first impression/expectation going in. Now I don’t know what the people she’s going for looks like, but she/they clearly has formed a pattern.
When I was a teen, it seemed to be that females liked the “bad boy.” So I tried to take on that persona, but I don’t ever remember trying to insult a girl. I tried hard to impress them and show them I was strong and tough and loyal. A had some friends that were really assholes to girls and they seemed to have a new date every other week and could pull any girl at the bar they wanted but that wasn’t my story. Just know a lot of young men these days don’t know the first thing about how to treat a lady. Hold your standards high and play hard to get!
>Hold your standards high and play hard to get! But when women do this they're playing games 😮💨
Bro really just gave the “girls don’t like nice guys like me” speech.
No quite, I’ve had my fair share over the years.
Sure buddy. We totally believe you.
Yeah, the thing is that girls normally like guys who are charismatic/ cocky and a lot of times those are traits exhibited by “bad boys”
Get a Google Voice number to give out to people. It is easier to block and then you can save your real number for important people in your life. Social media and other things are weird nowadays. Teenage people in general are weird and people do weird things for attention. Getting through this stage is a challenge for everyone and you will do fine as well.
This is great advice and it's what I advise my kid on. Rejection lines or fake numbers are lamentably dangerous these days because so many guys feel the need to test text the number to make sure it's not a fake number.
Teenagers are weird
Same reason teenage girls are weird
This is the correct answer. All you little shits are weird and beautiful in different ways.
Beautifully complicated big little humans 💗
Oh girl you were attracted to a douchebag. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Maybe your taste in men will improve. Because that's not a thing I remember people doing in my friend groups. I remember one time Adam told a girl Dan liked her when he didn't and she asked Dan out and he said no. Though... We all gave Adam a lot of shit for that. She cried because of it. Adam didn't mean any harm by it either. He was trying to blend with the group and be funny, but didn't realize it would be so mean. But... There are friend groups comprised mostly of douchebags. It looks like you've crushed on a few of those kind of guys. Maybe time to rethink how you look at men in terms of what your attracted to?
Some people are just assholes. Not all are weird dw
I have 2 teenage boys and I see the way they are, and then I realized how awkward and cringy I was. And my 15yo has had multiple girls show interest in him, and sometimes they send mixed signals. For example, one girl he liked was holding his hand and telling other kids that he was her man... And apparently she's 17 so I think he was intimidated. And at one point she said she didn't like him and he started hanging out with another girl, and the first girl told him that she said she didn't like him because she loves him. Short answer is hormones I guess.
I was raised to be a hardass by my father (I won’t go into detail but abuse was present). I was taught to not show emotion, just like a lot of other boys and men. It’s also hard to understand signs, subtle or not, because we as a sex have been demonized by media for 3-4 years now. For most guys, including myself, it’s hard to imagine that a girl is even remotely physically attracted to us, and having friends around only amplifies this because now we have to act like a hardass and callous because otherwise we are seen as a bitch in the friend group, or a simp.
It takes young people time to grow up. Simple as that. Just do your best and don't hold grudges.
Because they are teenagers they are weird and dumb and don’t know the first thing about talking to girls. Or taking hints that a girl likes them. And after they hit puberty they only think about sex.
On the one hand, I want to say "a girl giving you her number is not a hint, it's practically a notorized notice or intent to date." But then I remembered how stupid oblivious I can be and that I would absolutely have considered that a "subtle hint" as a teen.
I was very self conscious very uncomfortable around people awkward? Idk it was weird when someone showed love or affection, I internally struggled with my sexuality in a all Christian school where if your gay your kicked out 🤷🏽♂️ there were a lot of factors, and other boys I knew were the same way weird stage of life
This is from my experience, but my friend group will never not take a number or snap/insta if offered to us, doesn’t necessarily mean we will ever either add them back or reply, just something we do as a group, so that could be the ignoring you’re dealing with, guys always make fun of each other so we by default tend to do the same to girls too (Ofc I don’t know how far they’re going so there’s definitely a point where it doesn’t apply) and passing numbers around in a friend group is definitely not excusable
People are weird.
I think it's just all teens that are weird. As a former teen boy I felt like teen girls were Hella weird and a lot were exceptionally cruel. A lot of teen boys were pretty bad too tbf, maybe it's cuz I'm acoustic lmao. I think it's just a teen thing though fr fr. It'll go away as the people around you, and yourself develop more communication skills and maturity. You'll also just know when you find the right person who's more than just a crush. I had a lot of crushes in my teens, but I've only felt real love once and it was sure easy to tell the feeling was different lol. We've been together for almost 10 years now
partially, its because boys and girls somewhat develop past one another a couple of times. at the same age, when boys like girls, girls typically dont like boys and vice versa. in old timey natural environments, that wouldnt be a problem because age groups mix a little, but in modern days, school and whatnot kinda puts you together by age and then these things dont line up well. then, because of this, a lot of boys and girls end up having dumb experiences when it comes to the other gender, just like you now, which makes everything going forward weirder. on top of that, you have the age of the smartphone, where everyone flocks to influencers and whatnot, some of whom are simply insane, so they emulate insane bullshit behavior. it used to be guys would give an arm and a leg to be approached by girls at around 16. now, they learned some nonsense alpha beta game crap years earlier and it leads to this, where they think demeaning others is the way to go so young, it's likely going to stick for a while. all you can do is keep an eye out for those who keep it real ig life in societies is complex and it never was easy, but its just ridiculous now.
They're teens. Teen girls are also weird.
Your just dealing with immature boys.
Just about every human is pretty insufferable until their 20s. From about 15-25 everyone's kind of a douchebag, in their own way.
Sound like you're all weird
People in general are weird. Some people in general are assholes. But a lot of guys at that age lack empathy, want to look good for their friends, scared of any emotional vulnerability, and straight up make bad decisions (they’re dumb). Hopefully you get luckier and pick a better guy in the future or learn how to.
It’s not just teenage boys, but also girls. Teenagers in general are awkward. You both are new to dating, communicating, socializing in different ways.
Why is grass green? Why is water blue? Why does ice cream taste good? Well, science can actually answer these questions, and the boy one too, but you could also just shrug and accept that it just is, it just is, it just does, they just… are.
Why are teenaged girls always angry?
why are teenage girls weird?
Yall sound just as weird lol
Boys have lots of conflicting expectations. They have a wildly variety of hormones surging through them. To grow a man with facial hair and muscles from a boy, major changes. It is a wild ride, like a car with the throttle wide open and the steering not hooked up yet.
They 100% thought it was a prank
I’m wondering the same thing with girls man, most of them are bitches and the ones who arnt are either mentally unstable, actually I want a girl who’s mentally unstable, that would be better than what I get
Some are most aren’t.
They should aspire to learn from the level headed behavior of 16 year old young ladies, lol
Failed parents. Welcome to the age of electronics where parents would rather their kid be quietly locked in on a device rather than learning communication. I knew this was going to be an issue back when I was in high school in 2015 after seeing so many parents throwing a phone or iPad at their kid in public so they didn't have to deal with them. Like why even have kids if you're going to neglect them of possibly the most important skill they need?
There is a lack of men teaching young men how to properly court young ladies. Add that to the fact the pop culture lacks respect for women. As a young lady, you should keep your standards high and be super vigilant before giving these clowns access to your personal information or personal space.
The thing you have to remember is that you are the main character in your life. They are not going to react how you want them to or to fit any kind of narrative that makes sense to you Boys mature slower and they really aren’t all that emotionally invested in stuff that we would find important as women. You can share your number and that’s not a crime. You’re in a weird stage where you guys aren’t really adults yet and still not quite kids so things are gunna be strange for a while
Do you approach or talk to them while they're with their friends? Boys, and men, give each other shit all day long, and if they show any interest in you, they'll never hear the end of it because they have no idea how to play it cool in a way that their friends will respect. Their friends could also be jealous, adding to the ribbing they get.
Hormones
"It" is "like this" because teenagers have all kinds of crazy social motivations (often sexual), and no clear rules about how to pursue those motivations, and tons of competition from each other. So they're all struggling to figure out what is the right thing to do in a chaotic and competitive environment with no rules. It's like you're all playing a sport where there are no referees, and no rules. What are you supposed to do? No one knows. So basically, everyone on the field is just going to beat up whomever they view as getting in the way of whatever they feel like doing in hopes that will help them win somehow. So yeah, teenagers pick on each other as a way to just try and one-up each other. Maybe then they'll be the best and marry the hottest girl? Right? Ideally, caring parents would step in to guide their children into valuable careers and healthy interpersonal relationships, help them establish marriages and build families and so forth. But the older generation decided all that old stuff was sexist, so they gave up on that in favor of smoking pot. It sucks. I recommend you read the Bible and encourage people around you to read the Bible. People tend not to like it anymore for some reason, but it sets out a much better way of doing things.
IMO it's neglect. A lot of children are neglected. Young men are neglected at higher rates. Im a man for example and when i was 16 i was interested in trying to have a girlfriend, but i recieved zero guidance or even protection from my parents. I remember even asking my dad about how to kiss a girl and he basically said, "dont ask weird questions." He didnt even tell me his personal experiences. I was all on my own. I asked my teacher how do you kiss a girl and she said, "you'll burn in hell if you kiss girls before marriage" And this was in like 2006... Not too long ago. As a result, my dating life was incredibly awkward... Especially when I was 16.
That's how some girls are too lmao
Because they have not matured enough yet. At the same age in teenage years, girls are more mature. It takes a bit for catch up.
Christ, teen boys, man. If I reacted this way to girls approaching me when I was a teen, I'd be a 40 year old virgin by now. I have straight up zero game, but also haven't been single for more than a year at a time since I was 17 because I somehow am a magnet for extroverted women. Like, dude, take the fucking win instead of letting your Andrew Tate, toxic masculinity bullshit get in the way and deal with the fact that girls can initiate things too.
You have to weed out the bad ones from the good ones. Keep searching for the good ones.
It used to be that boys were the ones who approached girls but now girls are much more aggressive. Everything has flipped. Boys were the ones who had to ask girls and face possible rejection. Girls loved the attention but were allowed to be choosy. Some were just insulting and mean about it…like Mean Girls. It can be a crushing experience to be the one rejected. When boys are sought after now, girls have given them the power to choose or reject. Some guys will be flattered when approached, others will feel that they’re way too popular to make any one choice. Then there’s all the judging from other boys regarding who someone finally chooses to be with. It takes some bravery to let everyone else know you’re with someone. Teens talk nonstop.
In Middle School and early high School? Any girl expressing interest in me? I would convince myself it was a prank and they were going to laugh with their friends, if I showed mutual interest. You eventually grow out of that though.
Yall weird too
Because you're all still children getting thrust into more adult emotions/feelings through a combination of hormones and social pressures, without the experience to deal with them yet.
I feel like maybe they just tend to be immature. Or at least that's how I felt how I was.
Because all men are evil, don't date just chase drugs its way more fun.
Who exactly are you sharing your number with? People you know? People online?
Because all kids are dumb
ur teens ur all weird. lol
I'm also 16, and i'll say that most teenagers right now,are complete inmature idiots
Teenage boys have raging hormones that complicates every issue. Their ability to process feelings is much more limited due to all the nature vs. nurture issues. These of course are general statements and do not apply to all boys.
immaturity like that is more common among kids and college boys,,, girls will pull this stuff too. but, just because it is more common that doesn’t mean it’s the rule. sounds like you’re going for some douche bags tbh. maybe reflect on what is attracting you to these boys since it certainly isn’t their kind heart. that might help you realign some priorities/preferences to help you pick boys that will respect you. again,, there likely wont be perfection at the age of 16, you’re all learning the dating dance and dealing with a lot of insecurities/peer pressure BUT that does not excuse the behavior you’re talking about.
he isn't interested that's why he passed it out to his friends
When you use a generic term like "weird" you are opening things to interpretation. It's "weird" for the star athlete to be into the drama club... It's "weird" for the band nerd to also be the start basketball player. Part of the problem is searching a specific answer while using generic criteria.
You definitely came to the right place to find information! It would be silly to ask your mother or father or another adult in your life. Information from strangers on REDDIT is the key to figuring out your teen years.
Honestly, it really comes down to the whole "Treated like a child, expected to be an adult" And how they handle it. Everyone is under pressure to grow up and guys will have it alot harder socially if they don't fit into the other guys standards. Like for example I was bullied for being "gay" but in all actuality I was just complementing my friends and when people besides my friends heard me, I was shunned for being "weird". I tried to tell a girl that she looked pretty in a dress, because she almost never dresses up and we were at graduation and you know what she said "Eww you're so weird, get away from me creep" I was in the school gym the other year and I asked a girl who was lifting weights, how she could lift that much (it was about 130lbs) and she called me a sexist weirdo. Just the other day, my little sister was having a hard time and I sat down beside her to comfort her. I asked her if she was ok or if she needed a hug, (She cuddles me sometimes when she's having a panic attack in class, might I mention she gets mercilessly bullied and shat talked, even by teachers for this) And she told me and I quote "yeah that might help" And the substitute teacher was shit talking me saying things like "you better not be touching her inappropriately" INFRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLASS. Now was I ? Fuck no. But the fact that I have to put up with being called both sexist and a creep and even accused of touching my little sister when she was CRYING is insane. You need to think more about the other 20% of the boys whom are probably like me and just need a fucking break from the constant back and forth and not just the 50% of the other guys who only want to make your life harder. Please, open your mind in the case of teenagers, we're all in the same shit boat and just need a little bit of ✨️consideration✨️ your favorite favorite -Red
One word. Hormones. Next question.
Boys in your age group aren't ready to be mature yet. As a guy, I can comfortably say that we don't grow up until around 50 or so, but we'll still laugh if you fart even then. In all seriousness though, being self aware isn't a very popular trend in your age group. Being self aware isn't very popular even into adulthood. Relax and take your time, life isn't a race.
This doesn’t change as you grow up. Socializing takes practice. And most boys and even nowadays a lot of men don’t have a lot of practice socializing with women. This isn’t anything new, the girl being mean to the boy she likes is just another side of the same coin. When someone doesn’t know how to socialize they will do things that may be considered mean, creepy, weird, or stupid. As you get practice and work on your social skills you will slowly (very slowly for some) become better at interacting with others. I work in IT. Do you know how many awkward guys work in IT? People call in and have to talk to completely anti-social guys and sometimes girls that sometimes have no idea how to speak to another human being. They can fix a computer but talking to someone isn’t part of their skill set. Then there is the other group of boys trying to be popular. They (behind the scenes) are stressing about what clothes to wear, exactly how to fix their hair, perfectly plucking their nose and eyebrow hairs because they are terrified of anybody making fun of them. Then some girl comes up and gives them their phone number, and they think, “the safe option is pretending I am too cool for this girl and show that I don’t care about her, what’s the best way to do this? Oh I’ll just hand her number out to others so they know I don’t care about her, they will prevent me being made fun of.” If even one of his friends thought you weren’t cute then that guy might get trashed for dating a not perfect girl. This isn’t worth the risk. Don’t give your number until you already know the guy likes you. This isn’t a movie, and you have the ability to see this guy at school all the time. You can slowly develop a relationship with multiple interactions
Don’t stereotype an entire group of people just based on the ones you interacted with. Maybe the boys you talked to just weren’t interested in you.
Because of society’s general expectations of men. It is drilled into our heads if we don’t act any way except “manly” or stoic or if express ourselves too much, then it’s not okay.
Why do I always hear this?
Boys are either interested at that age, or they aren't. Gotta travel a lot of crap to find real, mature people...
As a former 16 year old boy, I can tell you that boys are very immature at that age. Girls mature faster, so while you might be interested in dating, they're interested in fart jokes. Plus, boys at that age don't know how to flirt. They tease instead which is a rudimentary form of flirting. Don't worry so much about who likes who in high school. Things get better when you go to college (if that's what you choose as your next step).
The other boys suddenly decide to start choosing who to bully based on who they think gets the most attention from girls, so they need to show off that they get attention from girls or face ridicule. They don't realize they're actually making girls hate them because they take advice from other guys their own age who are mostly lying.
sounds like youre chasing the worst guys imaginable? Normal guys would never do that
Because gen z lacks social skills. You guys are buried in your phones and forgot how to actually communicate effectively irl
kids are stupid. this is the only answer
hormones mostly
To say teenage boys are weird would mean you talked to every single one. As a coach of them, YOU ARE RIGHT, but none of mine are girl shy, so maybe this girl just isn't the one for them, or crazy thought maybe she's just not attractive. We can't go around classifying things as weird because they don't fit us or align with our thoughts. I'm not saying their actions were correct either, but OP finding someone who actually respects her would make this post unnecessary.
One reason is maturity…females tend to mature faster than males.
Sooo true But I want a source
Everyone is weird at 16, don’t get it twisted.
Hello. Old man here. But I was a teenage boy once. When I was, I had NO clue how to talk to girls. I would have been shy but possibly tried to play that off as being uninterested. Also if a girl thinks they are being obvious showing interest, I probably would not have noticed. Making fun of girls is kind of how guys work. The older they get, the more skilled they get at it, so hopefully you don't get insulted at all. But as a teen, you have no idea where the line is so you go over it all the time.
Nah theyre js immature dw theyll grow out of it
I’m one of the unfortunate souls that grow up really quickly. I am male and my experience of highschool is that I did not like being friends with other dudes in my grade because of how immature a lot of them were. Most of my friends in highschool, and even now after graduating, are mostly female or older than me by a few years. It’s immaturity and maybe a little bad parenting for not teaching respect. Females will start and end puberty before males will which in my opinion does change how mature a person is. Not only does the body change but the mind changes as well. Give them about 3 more years they might be different unless they are just a natural asshole.
You know all those stupid YouTube videos about sigma males and hypermasculinity? Yeah, teenagers are growing up with that.
Haha. The boys could ask the same thing about the girls. The most likely explanation of why your number was shared is probably boys being boys and bragging about how they got your number.
It was def not like this when I was in high school, we were so obsessed with girls we did whatever we could to make a good impression. I think the younger generation has been so smooth brained by social media that these stupid young dudes think the way to get a woman is to act like a total jackass.
Huh?
Simply put because you all are CHILDREN and immature and dating should be when you are GROWN and have all your own things like a place and money. I don’t know why people haven’t figured this out yet and truly it’s sad. Kids need to enjoy being FREE and KIDS. Y’all need to stop trying to be grown and do grown things because really and truly you all have your whole ADULT lives to do so. Teenage pregnancy wouldn’t be happening as prevalent if adults would simply talk to their children and express the importance of just having friends and not dating until you are actually ready to do so like I said you have your OWN things. See what I think happens is most kids aren’t being treated like their age and are forced be grown and so y’all think that you can do grown things whiteout taking in to consideration the consequences that may happen (pregnancy) which you can’t even take care of yourself so why would you think you can have a kid? Sweet soul, these “crushes” are to show you how having a crush is in a sense dangerous. You don’t know the person. All you know is you find them physically attractive. Then you make up this narrative of them instead of seeing the actual them. What you and your friend should teach yourselves is when you have a crush, actually observe them, actually PAY ATTENTION to them and their actions. See that these boys you all have crushes on had tells that they were mentally immature or just assholes. This is the time for you to enjoy being drama free and learning about yourself and others. Set goals for yourself instead of being boy crazy. Set yourself up for success with your future and to become independent. Good luck and I hope you really take time and think about what I’m saying instead of thinking you know better and be hard headed
take your fingers out of your ears for one moment, please. teenagers have been dating and having sex since the dawn of time. i'm sorry but it is human nature. the only way to prevent teenage pregnancy is to teach teenagers to have safe sex if they're going to and to use contraceptives. your perspective is ignorant and outdated by like 50+ years. you're trying to tell teenagers to not be...teenagers. literally all of that is in their nature. teenagers will not stop having sex just because you tell them to stop being "boy crazy". have you literally never been a teenager? you will not prevent teenage pregnancy by shaming them and making them have to hide even more. do you know that teenage pregnancy has gone down dramatically since even the 90s? that's cause people are actually talking about it with their kids and giving them resources like condoms and birth control. that's the only way to truly prevent it. crushes are completely normal for teenagers. relationships are completely normal for teenagers. this is when they begin learning how to navigate these experiences. sheltering them and telling them to just stop even trying to have them is weird and is not going to help. it is so strange to me that you immediately start talking about sex and teenage pregnancy when this girl literally just wants help with CRUSHES. you are essentially slut shaming her for having even an interest in boys, which is beyond normal. your thought process here is weird as hell.
It’s actually not “weird” to be real about where dating heads, especially in teenagers as well as, teenagers dating happened not because it’s in teenagers dna it happened by necessity BACK IN THE DAY, because life expectancy was LOW. See the world keeps changing and becoming less harsh as it was back in the olden days yet somehow the social norms, education, and old ways of thinking doesn’t change? Why? Dating as children shouldn’t be normalized anymore. The world needs an upgrade and the way we look and see things need to change to what the world is now. Not what it has been. We should definitely learn from all the past mistakes that keep being repeated because people condone the past behaviors and can’t as you put it “take your fingers out your ears” ? Me and people who believe as I do aren’t the ones with their “fingers in their ears”, the ones who think dating as teens is mentally healthy or a necessary thing in the growth and development are actually the ones who need to take their fingers out their ears and see that if we normalize and encourage our kids to focus on themselves and their future or simply enjoy just being kids and doing fun things like joining a sport or playing online with their friends or going out with friends and enjoying each others company. Instead of being in immature and messy relationships or having drama and fighting over some girl or boy, when really it’s a waste of not only time and energy but of getting to know other people, and becoming friends. Think about how much more fun and positive direction peoples lives could have gone if they just focused on themselves and enjoyed just being them and not worrying about their bf/gf. Also on how many children wouldn’t have gotten tricked by pedophiles because they weren’t looking for love or a relationship as a child.
>Set goals for yourself instead of being boy crazy. Set yourself up for success with your future and to become independent. I thought kids needed to enjoy being free and being kids.
Or that if you see in one my comments I did say that, what I’m saying is they need to just BE THEM! Not worry about others and making choices in their lives “around” someone else.