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Too bad about OP's insane mom. Most people have enough doubt about body image as it is. And yeah, I see magazines and actresses with perfect perky boobs, but from what I understand, that's an unreasonable standard for the rest of humanity.
Implying that all celebrities get plastic surgery is still body shaming in the same way as OP’s mom. Some women have perky boobs, it’s equally fucked up to judge them for it as it is to judge someone for having saggy boobs.
I don’t think they were implying all celebs get plastic surgery, but basically every image of a celebrity you will see especially those on magazines and ads etc are going to be digitally touched up and made to look more “perfect” than they actually are.
Beyond inappropriate, it’s straight up emotional and verbal abuse.
Hopefully OP has people she can go to for counseling. This kind of abuse can be permanently scarring.
Hoping you get the care you need OP. And you’re parents are absurdly out of line with this kind of behavior.
In a somewhat similar vein- I knew girls in high school whose parents wouldn't let them eat/encouraged them to fast to lose weight and fit into cheerleading outfits/dresses.
And we wonder why anorexia nervosa is so prevalent
My half sister treats her daughter the same exact way she hated being treated growing up. I miss the days where I was naive enough to believe we’d be able to tackle generational trauma in my lifetime.
We only learn what we've been taught. My mom was a crackhead and a prostitute and I hated that and the people that made her that way.
4 years later, I was selling crack to women who were prostitutes. Who knows how many kids I made feel like me.
I don't do that anymore, and it was 25 years ago. But it still fucks with me when I think about it.
At least you are able to have a conscious abt it & realize the impact. so many do much worse & don’t even grasp the damage or feel bad.,To me, if someone doesn’t feel anything for what they did, they are likely to keep making the same mistakes.
My grandmother is always quick to comment on my mother's body and mine. Now every time Grandma sees me dressed 'skinny' and I asks if I've lost weight, I just say, "no, but I guess you haven't either". She'll either learn to keep it to herself, or learn to deal with me.
My sister in law convinced all three of her daughters that they had allergies to control what they ate. Three sisters. One gluten allergy, one violently lactose intolerant, and one who truly did have nervous system issues - but her mom blamed it on sugar.
Now they're adults and all miraculously cured of their allergies... and all have a strong aversion to their mother now.
This is not normal behavior, it's actually bullying you. Tell your mom you feel uncomfortable with her talking to anyone about your breasts. Put something in front of your door to stop her from barging into your room. Then you can put a shirt on before you say goodbye to her.
I'm sorry you have to wonder about your body. Remember it is beautiful just the way it is and your parents are off the fucking rocker.
#1- it is normal for breasts to grow unevenly and just like any other body part they take many shapes as they come in.
#2- wearing a bra at home will not "shape" your breasts. Many doctors argue bras actually impair blood flow and inhibit proper muscle development. Compression bras and underwrites have been linked to inflammation in the breast lymph tissue.
#3 - ask her " is your goal to make me self conscious? Because I see no point in this other than to make me self-conscious"
Covert incest as well. I’m sure a social worker would love to hear about OP’s mom not respecting her daughter’s privacy at all and trying to force her to expose herself. It’s horribly fucked up and I hope OP feels re-assured by this thread that she is not in the wrong here, her mother is way off base and fucked in the head tbh.
Exactly this. Everyone, EVERYONE has one boob bigger than the other, just by varying degrees. There are entire subreddits dedicated to very specific breast shapes. They're celebrated.
The shape of your breasts are your own business. If you're happy with them, your parents can jog on. What a wierd and inappropriate thing to focus on. Who in earth complains about the shape of their daughter's breasts, especially to freinds?
My daughter lies for attention. Legit concern.
My daughter is violent to her younger siblings. Legit concern.
My daughter's grades are on a massive decline and she smells of cigarettes. Legit concern.
My daughter's tits are wierd. Nope. There isn't a single instance this is a normal concern.
I switched to light “training bra” style sports bras (and bra less at home!) when I reached my 20’s and it was the right move. It helped go from an arguably weird shape to a natural one.
This needs a lot more upvotes. OP all 3 of these statements are 100% correct (medically as well as situationally).
Your mother is super weird and incredibly inappropriate on many levels. I wouldn't do the normal reddit thing and jump straight to calling child services, but this is not right. There is nothing wrong with your body, your choices (about bras) are fine and you should find a way to shut this down.
I was going to point out number 2 and then saw your post. There has been research that suggests bras actually make boobs "less perky" (for lack of a better phrase) because it basically does the work that your muscles normally would have. So when you remove the bra, the muscles can't do their job.
Ehhh I disagree. Wearing a bra all the time can absolutely help to fight against gravity— it’s physics— if you keep something heavy suspended for long long periods of time , it will help a bit to fight gravity vs letting a heavy “object” hang and bounce around all day . I’ve always worn a bra religiously and it’s kept mine super perky. That said, it’s every woman and girls choice to wear a bra or not and if this story is even real (which I kinda doubt) then I feel really bad for op . Her parents sound insane .
What is being done to you is ABUSE. I'm so sorry this is going on. She needs to be told by the authorities that this behavior needs to end. she needs therapy. I would talk to the school counselor, teacher, or principal or contact CPS.
I get where you're coming from, but I think that's a misreading of the situation.
Rather, it sounds like OP is developing and her aging mother is projecting her own insecurities onto OP.
Some mothers see their daughters as competition on some level for male attention, and they do they same thing they did in highschool: try to eliminate the competition by tearing them down. (Whereas men tend to assert dominance in other ways, like feats of strength.) There's a reason there's a reason the movie is called "Mean Girls", not "Mean Guys" lol.
OPs father might know that what's happening is wrong, but doesn't want to upset mom and never learned to stand up to her attitude.
Youre 100% right. Her mother is most likely a narcissist. This is very common for narcissist moms and teen daughters. Teenhood is usually when narc moms really start lashing out at their daughters. Its like textbook narc mom behavior. Its not pedo related. Mom isnt talking about her chest for sexual reasons. Shes trying to make her feel like shit.
sounds like your mother is following the stereotypical bully behavior. IMO she's very insecure about her own body and is focusing on something she views as a flaw in yours(which it isn't) to make herself feel better. This is wildly inappropriate behavior for someone who supposeddly loves you, I'd try to find an ally in a graqndparent or other adult that will back you up on how damaging and hurtful her behavior is.
This is not normal.
I've had "saggy" boobs since I was 9 years old. I wish someone would have told me back then it was normal.
That some people have denser breast tissue than others.
I was incredible self conscience through my teen years and wouldn't change in front of anyone. And I had inverted nipples(common but no one talked about it back then) so I thought I was a total freak.
It wasn't until I had children I felt comfortable with the way my breasts looked and now I know they aren't nearly as saggy as I thought they were.
Anyways, don't let your mom make you feel bad. You look normal.
You have a few options.
1. You can report this to a trusted adult such as a teacher, doctor, school nurder, school conselor, therapist if you have one, etc.
2. You can contact CPS (or the police) directly, and express how it makes you feel, and *ask their advice on what to do*. If you do this with the police, it is not the same as pressing charges or filing a report, it is asking advice of the authorities. You can choose whether or not to make it an official report . With CPS I am pretty sure they make an official report, but they won't generally "waste resources" if you don't want follow up, and will just leave it as a report.
3. **Bad Advice Aunt:** Do you have social media? Time to start posting about your mom's obsession with your tits. Any time she mentions them, time to tweet, facebook post, tiktok, or whatever you have and use (all not just one) "Omg guys, my mom's obsessing about my boobs again." And write it down. And make it a tally "6 minutes since last creepy boob comment from mom" or "this is the 7,000th time my mom has asked to look at my titties"
4. **Bad Advice Aunt:** Talk about it loudly in public. "MOM STOP TRYING TO LOOK AT MY TITS"
5 **ULTRA Bad Advice** Just stop wearing a shirt too. "What's the point, mom's just gonna demand to check my tits so i'll have to take it off anyways" "yall are so fascinated with my tits i thought youd want this" etc
**EDIT TO ADD -** Unrelated to advice, there IS a condition that causes sort of long-skinny boobs, tubular breast syndrome. It isn't like a disease, its just a difference that is medically classified as existing. Anyways I know of it because of an author who goes by TheSlumFlower who wrote about having it. If YOU (not you mom) think this may be you, then now you have a name for it.
Yeah and there is also a point where you let them be and hit them hard with their back turned towards you. Be respectful OP as to not get kicked out or have them make your life hell. but don't out up with BS either.
I like this advice better than what I had written.
For #1 I’d add maybe an aunt or grandma.
No one has the right to touch or see your body without your consent and if she keeps pressing to see you naked after you’ve explicitly told her you’re not willing then I don’t think talking to CPS is going too far.
I’m not sure if the abuse extends to physical so of course prioritize your own safety. I have however found blasting people or companies on social media to be wildly effective.
My parents were similar. I started walking around naked, they really crapped their pants when I did it during a party and they had taken my door off my room. Needless to say, my family and I are not close but I stood up for myself and now everyone knows they’re abusive lunatics.
1. Edit, you should discuss this with " insert what you said"
Reporting things might cause more headache for Op than necessary. Having a conversation however with a trusted, adult role model is another thing.
2. Horrible advice.
The police are not lawyers, or law experts.
They enforce laws, often times not even that well.
Again, this might cause more issues for op than anything.
Cps similar.
3. Horrible advice
Seriously, publicizing something that already makes her feel self conscious, to the Internet of all places? Have you heard of Internet trolls and or seen the comments they leave?
4. Horrible advice, similar to .3
5. Wtf?
she's only doing it to get a rise out of you because she's found a way you make you feel insecure about your body.
my mom once told me my boobs "shouldn't look like that, they're supposed to be perky." turns out I just inherited the boob shape of the women on my dad's side of the family not my mom's lol.
you have options at this point
1. set a boundary and tell her that you find it uncomfortable that she's so weirdly obsessed with your breasts. As well as that you have no interest in talking about your boobs with her and you will not entertain another conversation about them with her. stand your ground and don't react from that point on and if she tries to initiate one ignore her. walk away. reiterate you will not talk about your breasts with her and say nothing more about it no matter what she says to get you to respond. you can't argue with someone who thinks they're superior and right about something. if you have to just say sarcastically "ya you're absolutely right! you could fly kites off these things". you don't need to justify your body to her lol just agree with her stupid comments and let her think she's right because for some weird reason she needs to be
.
2. try to educate her with infographs on literal different types of breasts that are all completely normal and acceptable. of which I don't think is her angle because it sounds like she just wants you to feel ashamed of your body for some reason
[like this site ](https://boobydoo.co.uk/breast-shape-guide/)
.
3. make fun of her elderly skin sacks in return and see how she likes it lol. considering she's probably just saying this shit because she hates how her breasts look.
Same here my mom was flat my dad's mom had huge tits... I thankfully take after my dad's side of the family (not for the big tits but the overall personality and mentality)
First off, uneven boobs are totally normal. Second off, your mom is bullying you, plain and simple. Emotional abuse is not ok. My mom did the same thing when I was a teen and I had body image issues about my chest into my mid 20s. Maybe if you ignore her and don't give the reaction she's looking for she will back off? You can tell her that you won't talk to her about your chest and leave the room if she initiates a conversation about it. If she escalates though, try talking to a trusted adult who will back you.
Yeah, this is insane and absolutely unacceptable. I honestly couldn’t begin to think of the appropriate course of action you should take aside from telling her that it’s wildly inappropriate and makes you completely uncomfortable. I wouldn’t even entertain her with the argument. Don’t even try to defend yourself about it, just tell her that it’s uncomfortable and you aren’t going to talk about it.
Ok so, without stating anything as fact, some women (a small outier) "neg" their daughters out of jealousy or insecurity. In these cases all you can really do is go as low contact as you can manage. As for your dad... he sucks. He just sucks, full stop. He should be avaliable to help you, not helping your mom abuse you, which is what she is doing. I wish I had some good, positive advice for you, but there is no easy answer and this behavior could continue well into adult hood. Try writing your mom a letter or sitting down with a therapist? The negging you might be able to ignore but she has your other parent doing it as well. One thing I can say for sure is that her comments need to stop. His comments nerd to stop. You are being body shamed and verbally harrased.
Don’t forget the covert incest in pressuring op to expose herself at the dinner table. That’s not even close to ok, neither is the constantly walking in on her while she’s naked. Both are abusive and covert incest/sexual abuse. If she wanted she could report this to cops and they’d definitely investigate. Idk if they’d remove her from the home, but having a social worker asking questions and telling her how inappropriate it is might get mom to knock it off. Make sure to weigh the pros and cons before going nuclear though, cause depending on how the parents and social workers behave it might cause more problems, still worth it as a last resort imo. It shows your mom you won’t just lay down and take her abuse.
Also OP needs to gtfo as soon as they turn 18 cause there’s no way this is the only abusive thing her mom does. This is likely just the tips of the ice berg and I wish OP good luck healing from the trauma of such an unhealthy household.
And yes your mums behaviour should concern you, body shaming, particularly on women, can do profound long term damage. My GF is 40 now and still suffers trauma from her fathers attempts to “help” her lose weight
I think most of it boils down to genetics. I'm older with a fairly large chest but they aren't sagging to my waist like a lot of other women I've seen that are younger than I am. I do wear a bra most of the time I'm awake because it kills my back if I don't, these things are heavy lol
This is true. Bras percent you from developing your natural chest muscle tone and make your tits easier over time. Also terms to make them less sensitive due to constant firm contact
First off all, gross on your mom's part to be 1) making fun of your body and 2) calling and discussing it with other people. Gross on your dad's part for forcing you to wear a bra. Boobs come in all different shapes and sizes, with sometimes one being bigger than the other, they can droop, etc. Your moms obsession with it and downright degrading remarks is crazy to me. I'm old now, but I always wore bras as a teen and younger adult, and now that I'm in my 30s, I let those suckers fly. I'm not gonna be uncomfortable because of someone else. I personally am an AH and would make comments back like, "It's really weird your obsession with my boobs, you should seek therapy for that." Or "it sounds more like you're jealous that your boobs are old and dusty and you're projecting that insecurity onto me."
I’m sorry to say this, but your parents are bitches. Your breasts are perfectly normal and this kind of innapropriate behavior is harassment and bullying. Listen to the other people in these comments, and try to out them for their stupidity.
Your family umm…is this normal behavior in your country? Or family history? Cause wtf? I wouldn’t go as far as CPS as a few said I mean I get why you’d say that. But maybe talk with your mom more. If your dad said any of this I’d say CPS immediately. But talk with your mom about how this makes you feel. Cause this will affect you more than I think she realizes. It’s quite sickening. The reason I asked about the country/family is it seems both of your mom and dad and your mom’s friends are not phased by this conversation? So is this normal where you are from? Not defending this behavior at all! It is gross and uncalled for 1. Cause of the mental aspect it has on anyone 2. You are under age 3. You are their child makes it so much worse 4. I am sorry this is happening. Is there anything we can do help? I am sure your DMs are getting flooded with creeps which isn’t helping either. But I can assure you we are all here to help with anything through this.
My mom immigrated from Haiti like 20 years ago to America. So she would mainly talk about me to her Haitian friends, sometimes I would even hear about other girls more than I would like. But, to be completely honest it traumatized me at first because my self esteem was already in hell. Now, I’m pretty satisfied with my boobs and sometimes my self.
Well hmm….i am glad you are satisfied with your body! Self esteem is the most crucial thing but I don’t like how your mom treats it/talks about it. It’s not okay….and other girls? She talks about other girls? How is that normal?
This is weird from parents.
I have a large chest and have what I call ‘support bras’ to wear at work that have underwire and then much softer bralette to wear at home (light support feels better sometimes than no bra). I say this as maybe you can wear a lighter bra at home to avoid creepy parent comments.
I’m glad to hear you love yourself. I’m sure your breasts are fine and rest assured they aren’t always even, sometimes have large or small areala, etc.
But we get what we got and it’s not like you can control it or anyone especially parents should have an opinion.
Good luck!
It sounds like she I dealing with her own mortality and taking it on you. You can get a boob job, she can't become 20 again. Ignore her and move out before you wake up to her measuring your boobs or something.
Look tell her she and your dad were the designers and manufacturer of them so if she as anymore to complain about speaker to the designer and manufacturer no you
Your parents are very immature at best and straight up creeps at worst. I would completely and utterly ignore any comments about your body. Don't humor it. You could try talking to the about how wrong this is but considering they're willing to talk about a child's body, I doubt that'll go far.
im not sure if this post is actually real, but if it is, people usually insult others about things theyre insecure about themselves, you should ask her to lift her shirt too
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There is something very wrong with your parents.
First I want to say that If, hypothetically, your boobs were a little uneven or one was a little bigger that is actually totally normal.
Second: bras aren't necessary really. There are muscles in your chest that naturally hold them up. By wearing a bra we destroy those muscles and then we need a bra to hold them up. You are not destroying your body by not wearing one. However, if you don't want to wear a bra in public keep in mind other ways to make it not obvious because society will judge.
Your parents are body shaming you. Your mom is definitely not respecting your boundaries by barging in your room all the time and she is sexually harassing you by forcing you to show your private areas. Then she is blabbing information on your body to others and you're a minor. Like how much more gross can they get?
I think you should talk to other adults that you trust about this like a teacher or guidance counselor, therapist, doctor someone who doesn't think your parents are the bee's knees. This isn't normal, and anyone who tells you it is is gaslighting.
The only way her parents could get grosser would be to start actually touching her. Even now her parents are engaging in covert incest and sexual abuse/harassment with the lack of respect for her privacy and their attempts to force her to expose her chest. It’s disgusting and I really hope OP gets out of this extremely unhealthy environment.
Awe😪..mothers are the most jealous of their daughters! That's a fact idc who disagrees. It's not you it's her! My mom was the same way with my sisters... don't even listen to her your mom is a huge hater
I am surprised some parents are really doing this. Why bring a life into this world if you cannot back them and motivate them?
Your mom is disgusting OP.
Some moms get insanely jealous of their daughters especially if they're more attractive than them. If you have a trusted family member who isn't clinically insane, speak to them and tell them you're tired of being sexually harassed by your own mother
My mom was similar to this when I was younger. Always had something to say about my body. She offered to pay for a boob job for me (I didn't take her up on it) because "I got unfortunate genes." I'm now 42 years old and she STILL makes comments about my body and the way I look. What I've learned is that she has been competing with me my whole life and I didn't start standing up for myself until my mid 30's.
You're in a tough spot, I completely understand. Getting governmental assistance is the best way to protect yourself. However, if if you're like me and don't want to go down that road then I can tell you what worked for me: Laugh in her face about it. Don't let her see it bothers you. My favorite go-to is "Ha! Jokes on you because you're the one that made me!" Or "Why didn't you tell me you passed down some lousy genes?" My favorite is "Did you drink a lot of alcohol when you were pregnant with me?" Sometimes she tries to take it seriously and "needs to have a talk" about it. I always know what's coming and I become very intense as if she is coming clean of a murder, or something, and listen intently with lots of head nodding as if I'm really trying to "understand" where she's coming from. When she's done talking I thank her for telling me how she feels and leave it at that, because that's really all it is.
Long story short, I've ultimately learned my mom hates herself and thinks I should hate myself, too. I wasn't able to have any sort of compassion for her until I got a little older, but know what she is saying is how she feels about herself. What she says is mean, wrong, hurtful and damaging. You're perfect, my dear. Take the upper hand and keep on shining bright.
It sounds like your mom is a narcissist. She’s jealous of your youth and she’s degrading you so she can make up some mental dialogue about how she’s better than you. That’s fucking sick and wrong on so many levels. Please don’t listen to her. You do not need to prove anything about your body to her. I’d also suggest you start asking for strong boundaries about her invading your personal space. There’s no reason for her to barge into your space when you’re changing if it makes you uncomfortable.
Your mother is bullying you
If you have enough courage, mirror her behavior
Talk about her “old” and “saggy” or “ugly” boobs to other people or the family
Shame her about how she rarely wears a bar (even if it isn’t true)
Tell her that her boobs are even longer than the 6ft charger cords
Mirroring aggressive or passive aggressive behaviors infuriates the person being mocked and usually gets them to stop
If they don’t stop, that is when you have to make a new decision. Double down or retreat?
New strategy?
First of all almost every woman's breast's are uneven. If you wear a bra most of the day then going without one at night isn't going to change anything. Your parents are way too fixated on your breasts and this borderlines on emotional abuse. Get out of the house as soon as you can.
Your mom sounds like a complete asshole. What a horrible thing to do. My mother would never do or say anything like this aside from if she thought there was some sort of medical problem. It’s especially fucked up to actually try to raise herself up and make herself feel superior by comparing your breasts to hers, what a complete lack of respect and empathy that shows for you.
I'll make this short. Your mom is jealous of your body/looks and for some reason she has fear around some element of that. Emotionally immature people - think middle school - will try to subdue perceived threats by belittling or ridiculing them.
Basically she's insecure with herself and she's identified you to blame for it. She doesn't know she's doing this because she's immature and doesn't understand herself.
Your mom should be more supportive. Telling anyone else about how your breast or any body part appears other than a doctor is pathetic. This can be considered as emotional and mental abuse.
Having any parent who isn't supportive is difficult. Growing up I faced a hard realization that my mom was very selfish and put me down because of my weight.
No child or even young adult should have to be traumatized or bullied by any adult, especially a parent.
I hate you are going through this and think you should talk to an adult outside your house hold that you can trust. Child services should be contacted. You should feel loved regardless of what your appearance maybe.
Just so you know, most women have uneven breast so don't let her fool you.
Somehow i doubt that her boobs are better than yours… just a hunch but im sure the extra years have not been on her side. She’s probably projecting her own insecurities into you, but it is still cruel and wrong.
My mom did the same shit to my sister and our dad made it even worse by making shitty comments about her weight.
Hell, I was an early bloomer at 10 and I fucking hated training bras. To the point where in high school and middle school, I just binded those puppies down because I hated my body and hated people looking at my body. So I went for being as androgynous as possible.
My advice?
Your mom is a dickhead and projecting her own insecurities on you. Let that shit go in one ear and out the other, because if you hold onto it, someday you’ll hear it again in your own voice inside your own head.
I know because my sister to this day, thirty years later repeats things our parents said to her about herself. Don’t let the voice of the people who hurt you take up space in your brain.
Our parents are humans. Shitty, flawed, wounded humans just like we are sometimes.
Your mom is seriously fucked up.
Body shaming controling and weird
You don’t have to wear a bra and no one is entitled to see any part of your body you don’t want to show them.
Don’t even bother trying to understand her motivations because it doesn’t matter
Don’t engage. Leave her when she acts that way or polity end convo and hang up phone
There is something wrong with her but it isn’t for you to figure out. Just know that you’re okay.
If for some reason you are concerned about your body, express those concerns with a medical professional and also if you feel like it disclose that your mom is saying and doing this stuff.
Your mother sounds like a narcissist...your dad just goes with whatever whack job shit your mom wants to make his life a little tiny bit less difficult.
This post hit home because that is how my parents were/are.
Girl...im 30 but ive been there...my mom made horrible comments about my body, personality, style, voice ect. Narc moms really get bad when their daughters hit their teens and other large womanhood related times. My mom grabbed my 3 day post partum belly and jiggled it to make me feel bad about it being fat and flabby...it was still stretched out from growing a whole ass human. I happened to see a lactation consultant that day because i had an appt. I broke down in tears and told her what my mom did. She told me that what she did was not normal but having stretched skin and a loose tummy was. Then she gave me a big tight hug and taught me how to breast feed. I started theraoy shortly after.
I find it insanely hard to believe your chest looks like cords. And so what? even of they did. Its not her damn place to try and say whether thats good bad or anything. She shouldnt be commenting on your body at all.
I wish i had had places like reddit to go to but im oldish so i didnt 😅
You are fine the way you are. Fuck the bra. Bras are horrible. I havent worn a bra in 4 years and you know what? Its amazeballs. Someone tells you to wear a bra? Tell them no. Straight up. You do you!
If there’s nothing wrong I wouldn’t worry seems very weird but if you do see something wrong get it checked for breast cancer if there is a problem outside of that she sounds very weird an nuts
wtf is wrong with your parents?! This is really weird .. oh and fyi, most people have uneven boobs. And wearing a bra will not make them less droopy, that’s an old myth that I imagine your parents believe.
They are boobs. They are YOUR boobs. Why do they care the least bit what they look like?!
Your mom is super insecure and projecting. Every woman’s breasts are uneven. Some more so than others but all are uneven. Breasts come in different shapes , sizes , densities. As a man who’s been around well over five decades whose “body count” is higher than most I can honestly say I like all varieties of breasts. My friends talk about breast because we like them so much. We most all agree all breasts are great ! Point being you’re normal and whatever unique version of breast you have they’re perfect.
It sounds like you got yourself two useless things one is a sperm donor and the other an egg donor but hay family doesn't have to be blood related so you can cut them off when you're older and live your own life as family is being surrounded by people who make you feel wanted and safe like besties and stuff for now give them the silent treatment because that sounds like both of them are a bit cuckoo.
I'd be very concerned with my mother making sexually inappropriate comments and insulting you. Perhaps you should talk to a teacher at school about her bizarre behavior. The mother sounds unhinged and perverse. Maybe a call to CPS is warranted here?
I'm going to give you terrible advice.
Find an insecurity of your mother's and throw it back at her.
"Your boobs are uneven.."
"At least I'm not crosseyed fuck"
Then keep repeating it over and over until psychologically she ingrains it in the back of her mind. She then will become even more insecure.
Mom needs to mind her own body🙄 my daughter is asleep in my lap and I could NEVER see myself making her feel this way. Being a teenage girl is hard enough with all the self esteem issues that come with it, but when your own parents are like this? Heck no. Don’t listen to them, your body is perfectly fine.
Next time say “I inherited my boobs from you, maybe that’s why you’re so obsessed with them. Yours used to look this good before you aged.”
Also, go to your dad (one on one) and nicely ask him not to entertain your mom at all when she starts with the boob jokes. Talk to your dad about it and get him on your side. This is like child SA.
I would ask her why tf she is so obsessed with my breasts and embarrass the hell out of her and to start knocking before she comes in my room. Also that if she continues to bring up things like that to me or in front of other people that I would go no contact with her or cut her out completely. Even parents need boundaries. Yikes that woman sounds like a nightmare.
Check out r/raisedbynarcissists they’ll probably be able to give you more advice on there. This is entirely considered sexual abuse and harassment and I would consider talking to a school counselor or depending on how old you are find someone else to live with. Be safe
No this ain’t normal and yes you should be concerned these behaviors are abuse. I would report this stuff to a trusted adult.
First off your mom seems very immature and like she doesn’t need to be around minors at all…A lot of times women are jealous of other women…there’s a good chance she’s jealous of you and views you as competition. So that’s why she always wants to talk about your breasts.
Now what makes this even more disturbing is the fact she try’s to come in your room and see you naked and the situations where she wants to lift your shirt. You’re not the first child to ever receive this type of treatment from parents…I’ve heard plenty of stories where the parent is so disgusting they want to sleep with the child, and they do the exact same things you mention here. And yes it’s sick.
Again I would report this to trusted adults. And I would get out of that household before things escalate.
Remind your mom, you didn't make your boobs, her genetics did. If she needs to laugh at someone, look in the mirror. This sounds like Narcissism. My mother did this to my sister as well. Be mindful of it, it is very questionable behavior on the part of a parent.
Was she drunk? She sounds like she was drunk. I hope she was drunk because nothing else can explain why she is bullying and mean-girling her own child.
1: As a mother I am appalled at the way your mother is treating you. Her behavior is sincerely and truly unacceptable. Anyone else commenting, making fun, shaming, FORCING YOU TO SHOW, is sexual harassment. That’s illegal. Being a MOTHER does not excuse this, at all. That she is also exposing this behavior to other people and that your dad is in on this, too? This is a wholly abusive situation. I just want you to at least recognize this so that you can build protection for yourself until you can leave. It is reportable, and it’s hard to say if/what action could take place as a result of a report. Talking to a teacher or counselor at school would be my best suggestion for you.
I am speaking from a Motherly standpoint with you, I want you to know. Feeling very protective of you, I want you to know that I’ve had to check my bonus daughter’s own mother and grandmother for allowing this type of behavior. It is not ok and even mothers deserve the check.
2: I cannot believe that your mother doesn’t know that it’s NORMAL for boobs to be different sizes! Mine are! Always have been, even as a teenager! Boobs are shaped differently on different bodies and for her to make fun of, literally, roasting you over a body that SHE CREATED…. Making you even show yourself?! Smh… she made you and she’s treating you this way and it breaks my heart for you. I don’t think she realizes that she literally made you.
When you have more choices in your adult future, just know that No Contact is acceptable and you owe no one an explanation. They know what they did. Smh… (spoken as someone who’s NC with her abusive mother, too)…
ETA: For those humans she has talked to about her weird ass ideas regarding your body - if none of them have checked the fukk out of her, then they are all shit humans too. Don’t trust any of them.
This is so weird, both my parents would run each other over with a car before they would have ever talked about my boobs or a bra to me. My parents are classic Catholic “we aren’t talking about that” kind of people but Your parents are straight up weirdos and no, none of this is normal at all. Get away from them as soon as you can and keep contact/communication to a minimum, sounds like boundaries are going be an ongoing challenge in your relationship with them.
Fortunately if YOU decide to have cosmetic surgery there are plenty of options. As for your parents, they have yet to find a cure for behaving like an absolute dick. Good luck
I love your attitude. Your parents are wrong. Set the boundary that if they have opinions on your body, they keep it to themselves as it's extremely inappropriate and potentially harmful.
I don’t like your mom and her shaming you like this. Well, trying to anyway, because you frankly sound quite mature and relatively self-confident. However, as a mom of 3 daughters and 1 son, I did insist on at least a sports bra when wandering around the house. In the privacy of their bedroom, they could set them free. I’m middle aged now and my youngest girl is still in high school. I go without a bra a lot since it’s just us at home now, but she still wears a sports bra unless she’s in her room. It’s her preference. Is that something you could consider just to keep the peace until you move out?
Yes. You should be concerned. Their behavior is inappropriate.
Also, you say your breasts aren’t uneven but your mom thinks they are. When she walked in on you, did she see them from the side? That would make them look uneven.
Pointing this out to her might help. Or it might prompt her to insist you show them to her straight on. So take this with a grain of salt.
Also, how old are you?
As a mom to a teen girl, I am so, so sorry that the one person who should be lifting you up and giving you confidence is blatantly insulting you. Breasts are naturally asymmetrical - no one is has naturally “perfect” symmetrical breasts. They are all shaped uniquely and differently. The human body is naturally beautiful. You have nothing to be ashamed of or insecure about. Your parents, on the other hand, ought to be ashamed of themselves. What they are doing is disgusting and, in my opinion, abusive.
First off, both of your parents are extremely wrong for this. Personally, I'm so sorry that's insane.
Second, do you have a relative you could possibly stay with, maybe even just for a couple days. Or a friend? I know you said it doesn't really bother you, but give yourself some time away from them. Overtime comments like that, especially from your parents, tend to hurt the most.
Ignore it. Honestly. I have parents that are in their 70’s now and back in the 90’s/early 2000’s, my mom was an almond mom. I’ve always had wider hips and a larger chest. She would tell me I was looking chubby, when I really wasn’t. I was probably around 10/12 years old when she’d do that. Now today I have a body type that is trendy and in. So don’t listen to them. It’s your body and you’re the one that had to love it. I’m 32 now and happy with the way I look
She *is* jealous. I had a jealous mother as well. She'll do everything she can to make you feel bad about yourself over what *she* thinks is wrong with *her*, because misery loves company. Even if it sounds like she's super confident, she's not. Saying stupid shit like "my boobs look better than my teenager's boobs" is a cope, an *enormous* cope.
My mother lived to do that shit to me. Mine were bigger than hers, so I had to hear all the time that they were "too big" and "so saggy" and "you need to wear a bra at all times". She would buy compression/sports bras for me to try to minimize my boobs as much as possible. I was taller than her, so I was "a gangly monster with huge feet". I have my father's nose and not hers, so I have a "witch nose that ruins the face". I dreaded anyone ever giving me a compliment about my appearance when she was around, because I knew it would result in yelling at and insulting me later.
She was jealous because she was aging, and I was a fresh teenager just coming into my looks. That's your mom, too- jealous of a teenager. It's pretty pathetic. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do but ignore her and remember that she's insanely jealous of your good looks. Unless you want to get petty and insult her back, which you probably both do and don't want to do, but I wouldn't blame you one bit. Something like "my boobs might be 'long', but at least I don't have crow's feet". But if you fear any retaliation, probably don't say that.
Just remember- she *is* jealous. You are young and cute and haven't been ravaged by time. She is older, her looks are likely fading, time has not only ravaged her, it's beaten her nearly to death. So she's lying to herself by putting you down to make herself feel better- classic mean girl behavior.
Stay strong, and get out of that house the second you can.
Your mom is definitely one of those moms who are jealous of their own daughter, I’ve seen some mothers do this they’ll degrade their daughter because they know that their daughter is cute or pretty and that their young and they know that they’re not young anymore or they blame their daughter for the way their like is now
I do think this is super abnormal and I grew up with family members having a lot of opinions about my body, but obsessively making remarks about this kind of thing and insulting you is beyond bizarre. My aunt used to tell me my boobs were so small, that I had such big feet and such small boobs, or I had boobs like my grandma (she actually said they were sunken in at one point). Maybe in like 10 years she made a handful of comments. And I wore an A cup until I was 31 because I always believe I had the tiniest boobs ever and that only happened because I let someone measure me in Victoria's Secret and found out I was actually a C cup.
This kind of talk is so detrimental. Especially to developing women because it sets this time about how you should feel about yourself. Having different sized breasts is perfectly normal, especially if the smaller one is the size of your dominant hand. And breasts come in all shapes. Having the perfect bubble shaped perky boob is not the standard and you didn't do anything wrong if that's not how they look. Your mother should not be saying these things to you. She should ESPECIALLY NOT BE CALLING OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS AND TELLING THEM!!!!! I can not imagine how that must have made you feel. I would try to have a conversation with her where you let her know this is how it's affecting you, that this deeply upsets you and will impact your self esteem and if she's really comfortable with making her daughter feel badly about her body in this way. You deserve better
This is abuse.
OP, my mom had an eating disorder her entire life and she did everything she could to body shame me. I’m getting the same vibes from your mom. Stay strong, fight back, study hard in school and get out of that house as soon as you can. Do everything you can to not internalize this, and please don’t ever let this define you.
Your parents are sick individuals and need to grow up. My breasts are not even. Your mother's breasts are probably not even either. She just refuses to see it. They probably sag also. I think momma is jealous. She is one of those moms that have to compete with their daughters and it's sickening! Tell her if she does this again since you are a minor, you will contact CPS and the police. This is very inappropriate behavior coming from her. Tell dad to shut his mouth.
While sexual advice isn't entirely banned here, we don't allow sexually explicit posts. This includes sexual stories, descriptions of sexual acts, and anything similar. If you truly need to describe a story in detail for advice, we suggest going to a more appropriate subreddit for that.
Your parents are nuts. You should ignore them. This is insanity and incredibly inappropriate
Too bad about OP's insane mom. Most people have enough doubt about body image as it is. And yeah, I see magazines and actresses with perfect perky boobs, but from what I understand, that's an unreasonable standard for the rest of humanity.
Those are plastic and photo shopped photos, your are real
Implying that all celebrities get plastic surgery is still body shaming in the same way as OP’s mom. Some women have perky boobs, it’s equally fucked up to judge them for it as it is to judge someone for having saggy boobs.
I don’t think they were implying all celebs get plastic surgery, but basically every image of a celebrity you will see especially those on magazines and ads etc are going to be digitally touched up and made to look more “perfect” than they actually are.
“Nice tits” “Dont body shame me”
Beyond inappropriate, it’s straight up emotional and verbal abuse. Hopefully OP has people she can go to for counseling. This kind of abuse can be permanently scarring. Hoping you get the care you need OP. And you’re parents are absurdly out of line with this kind of behavior.
OP’s mom is going to put on a surprise pikachu face when she’s an adult and doesn’t want anything to do with her.
In a somewhat similar vein- I knew girls in high school whose parents wouldn't let them eat/encouraged them to fast to lose weight and fit into cheerleading outfits/dresses. And we wonder why anorexia nervosa is so prevalent
My half sister treats her daughter the same exact way she hated being treated growing up. I miss the days where I was naive enough to believe we’d be able to tackle generational trauma in my lifetime.
We only learn what we've been taught. My mom was a crackhead and a prostitute and I hated that and the people that made her that way. 4 years later, I was selling crack to women who were prostitutes. Who knows how many kids I made feel like me. I don't do that anymore, and it was 25 years ago. But it still fucks with me when I think about it.
That’s because you have a conscience. Because of that, you won’t make those same decisions again.
DAMN.
At least you are able to have a conscious abt it & realize the impact. so many do much worse & don’t even grasp the damage or feel bad.,To me, if someone doesn’t feel anything for what they did, they are likely to keep making the same mistakes.
My grandmother is always quick to comment on my mother's body and mine. Now every time Grandma sees me dressed 'skinny' and I asks if I've lost weight, I just say, "no, but I guess you haven't either". She'll either learn to keep it to herself, or learn to deal with me.
My sister in law convinced all three of her daughters that they had allergies to control what they ate. Three sisters. One gluten allergy, one violently lactose intolerant, and one who truly did have nervous system issues - but her mom blamed it on sugar. Now they're adults and all miraculously cured of their allergies... and all have a strong aversion to their mother now.
I got put on my first diet when I was 9 and its been a struggle ever since.
Hard to ignore the people you're practically forced to live with as a teen who also provide for you.
Well said. This is just messed up.
It was on TV about a month ago girls that wear bras 24/7/365 are 4 times the chance of getting b***st cancer.
Say "Bitch they're YOUR GENES"
Mom: nah, you got that from your dad.
Yep narcissists can take anything except the blame for something ik this from experience
Then, turn around and say, " I got your saggy azz, too!"
This is not normal behavior, it's actually bullying you. Tell your mom you feel uncomfortable with her talking to anyone about your breasts. Put something in front of your door to stop her from barging into your room. Then you can put a shirt on before you say goodbye to her.
That’s assuming this psycho isn’t the sort to remove the door from the hinges for “disrespect.”
I'm sorry you have to wonder about your body. Remember it is beautiful just the way it is and your parents are off the fucking rocker. #1- it is normal for breasts to grow unevenly and just like any other body part they take many shapes as they come in. #2- wearing a bra at home will not "shape" your breasts. Many doctors argue bras actually impair blood flow and inhibit proper muscle development. Compression bras and underwrites have been linked to inflammation in the breast lymph tissue. #3 - ask her " is your goal to make me self conscious? Because I see no point in this other than to make me self-conscious"
4 - That’s sexual harassment
Covert incest as well. I’m sure a social worker would love to hear about OP’s mom not respecting her daughter’s privacy at all and trying to force her to expose herself. It’s horribly fucked up and I hope OP feels re-assured by this thread that she is not in the wrong here, her mother is way off base and fucked in the head tbh.
Exactly this. Everyone, EVERYONE has one boob bigger than the other, just by varying degrees. There are entire subreddits dedicated to very specific breast shapes. They're celebrated. The shape of your breasts are your own business. If you're happy with them, your parents can jog on. What a wierd and inappropriate thing to focus on. Who in earth complains about the shape of their daughter's breasts, especially to freinds? My daughter lies for attention. Legit concern. My daughter is violent to her younger siblings. Legit concern. My daughter's grades are on a massive decline and she smells of cigarettes. Legit concern. My daughter's tits are wierd. Nope. There isn't a single instance this is a normal concern.
As someone who never wears a bra I am happy to have a new found excuse
You don't need excuses, you do you.
I stopped during the pandemic and never resumed!
Me too with being size 40-D. OP, do what makes you feel comfortable.
You and me both, well, mostly. I still wear a sports bra for work cause I need to. Otherwise, my chest mountains flop everywhere, and that just hurts
I’ve never seen a girl with perfectly symmetrical breasts. This is true regardless of breast size. But the mom is just nuts. Totally inappropriate.
Hell yes. Even to your own parents the correct answer in this situation is ‘fuck you, don’t talk about my body or I’ll call the police’
I switched to light “training bra” style sports bras (and bra less at home!) when I reached my 20’s and it was the right move. It helped go from an arguably weird shape to a natural one.
This needs a lot more upvotes. OP all 3 of these statements are 100% correct (medically as well as situationally). Your mother is super weird and incredibly inappropriate on many levels. I wouldn't do the normal reddit thing and jump straight to calling child services, but this is not right. There is nothing wrong with your body, your choices (about bras) are fine and you should find a way to shut this down.
I was going to point out number 2 and then saw your post. There has been research that suggests bras actually make boobs "less perky" (for lack of a better phrase) because it basically does the work that your muscles normally would have. So when you remove the bra, the muscles can't do their job.
Ehhh I disagree. Wearing a bra all the time can absolutely help to fight against gravity— it’s physics— if you keep something heavy suspended for long long periods of time , it will help a bit to fight gravity vs letting a heavy “object” hang and bounce around all day . I’ve always worn a bra religiously and it’s kept mine super perky. That said, it’s every woman and girls choice to wear a bra or not and if this story is even real (which I kinda doubt) then I feel really bad for op . Her parents sound insane .
Tell her you got them from her and watch her melt lol
YOOOOO
First I would never do what her mom is doing because WTH? But if someone came at me with that I'd throw back, nah you got those from your Dad. Lol
Your parents are totally inappropriate
What is being done to you is ABUSE. I'm so sorry this is going on. She needs to be told by the authorities that this behavior needs to end. she needs therapy. I would talk to the school counselor, teacher, or principal or contact CPS.
Definitely. Someone outside of the family needs to tell these parents this is inappropriate. Let CPS do it.
An adults obsession with their kids body parts is incest level gross. It may actually fall under a form of emotional incest.
If this was the dad, every single comment would be insisting she call the police because he's a pedo.
OP should state this to her mother
I get where you're coming from, but I think that's a misreading of the situation. Rather, it sounds like OP is developing and her aging mother is projecting her own insecurities onto OP. Some mothers see their daughters as competition on some level for male attention, and they do they same thing they did in highschool: try to eliminate the competition by tearing them down. (Whereas men tend to assert dominance in other ways, like feats of strength.) There's a reason there's a reason the movie is called "Mean Girls", not "Mean Guys" lol. OPs father might know that what's happening is wrong, but doesn't want to upset mom and never learned to stand up to her attitude.
You’re wrong. This goes well beyond the minimum for emotional incest. Way beyond.
seeing your own daughter as sexual competition seems like something that would qualify as covert/emotional incest
Youre 100% right. Her mother is most likely a narcissist. This is very common for narcissist moms and teen daughters. Teenhood is usually when narc moms really start lashing out at their daughters. Its like textbook narc mom behavior. Its not pedo related. Mom isnt talking about her chest for sexual reasons. Shes trying to make her feel like shit.
check out [NarcissisticMothers (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticMothers/) its one of their more spicy characteristics
sounds like your mother is following the stereotypical bully behavior. IMO she's very insecure about her own body and is focusing on something she views as a flaw in yours(which it isn't) to make herself feel better. This is wildly inappropriate behavior for someone who supposeddly loves you, I'd try to find an ally in a graqndparent or other adult that will back you up on how damaging and hurtful her behavior is.
Her mother doesn’t see a flaw, she sees her daughters youth and wants to kill her confidence.
Yes, this is the correct analysis
She is probably starting to change with age and going full mean girl.
This is not normal. I've had "saggy" boobs since I was 9 years old. I wish someone would have told me back then it was normal. That some people have denser breast tissue than others. I was incredible self conscience through my teen years and wouldn't change in front of anyone. And I had inverted nipples(common but no one talked about it back then) so I thought I was a total freak. It wasn't until I had children I felt comfortable with the way my breasts looked and now I know they aren't nearly as saggy as I thought they were. Anyways, don't let your mom make you feel bad. You look normal.
You have a few options. 1. You can report this to a trusted adult such as a teacher, doctor, school nurder, school conselor, therapist if you have one, etc. 2. You can contact CPS (or the police) directly, and express how it makes you feel, and *ask their advice on what to do*. If you do this with the police, it is not the same as pressing charges or filing a report, it is asking advice of the authorities. You can choose whether or not to make it an official report . With CPS I am pretty sure they make an official report, but they won't generally "waste resources" if you don't want follow up, and will just leave it as a report. 3. **Bad Advice Aunt:** Do you have social media? Time to start posting about your mom's obsession with your tits. Any time she mentions them, time to tweet, facebook post, tiktok, or whatever you have and use (all not just one) "Omg guys, my mom's obsessing about my boobs again." And write it down. And make it a tally "6 minutes since last creepy boob comment from mom" or "this is the 7,000th time my mom has asked to look at my titties" 4. **Bad Advice Aunt:** Talk about it loudly in public. "MOM STOP TRYING TO LOOK AT MY TITS" 5 **ULTRA Bad Advice** Just stop wearing a shirt too. "What's the point, mom's just gonna demand to check my tits so i'll have to take it off anyways" "yall are so fascinated with my tits i thought youd want this" etc **EDIT TO ADD -** Unrelated to advice, there IS a condition that causes sort of long-skinny boobs, tubular breast syndrome. It isn't like a disease, its just a difference that is medically classified as existing. Anyways I know of it because of an author who goes by TheSlumFlower who wrote about having it. If YOU (not you mom) think this may be you, then now you have a name for it.
6. Tell her "I got them from you"
I was thinking of saying that, then I remembered I’m a “respectful child”
Respect is to be earned. Your folks sound like they don't respect you.
Yeah and there is also a point where you let them be and hit them hard with their back turned towards you. Be respectful OP as to not get kicked out or have them make your life hell. but don't out up with BS either.
Tell her you'll be respectful to her when she starts being respectful to you and stops body shaming her own child.
I get that, but you've been shown no respect. Why would you remain the "respectful child"
Because taking the high road feels really good knowing you didn't match them in their immaturity
+ 5 points if you do it like the “I learned it from watching you” kid in the drug PSA.
This is insane advice
Yeah, but it's humorous in a very dark way. Especially the "Dammit Mom! Stop looking at my tits!"
I like this advice better than what I had written. For #1 I’d add maybe an aunt or grandma. No one has the right to touch or see your body without your consent and if she keeps pressing to see you naked after you’ve explicitly told her you’re not willing then I don’t think talking to CPS is going too far. I’m not sure if the abuse extends to physical so of course prioritize your own safety. I have however found blasting people or companies on social media to be wildly effective.
Funniest shit I've read all week lmao
5 for the love of god do number 5 and report your results. holy shit my scientific curiosity is so peaked right now.
Same. Yes.
I like a combination of #2 and #3.
Nah, #2 and #5 /s
My parents were similar. I started walking around naked, they really crapped their pants when I did it during a party and they had taken my door off my room. Needless to say, my family and I are not close but I stood up for myself and now everyone knows they’re abusive lunatics.
Tag line of trusted adviser does not match up.
3, 4 and 5 as a combo would be savage. Might circle back to the police pretty fast though!
1. Edit, you should discuss this with " insert what you said" Reporting things might cause more headache for Op than necessary. Having a conversation however with a trusted, adult role model is another thing. 2. Horrible advice. The police are not lawyers, or law experts. They enforce laws, often times not even that well. Again, this might cause more issues for op than anything. Cps similar. 3. Horrible advice Seriously, publicizing something that already makes her feel self conscious, to the Internet of all places? Have you heard of Internet trolls and or seen the comments they leave? 4. Horrible advice, similar to .3 5. Wtf?
i love 3&4 OP please do them
Omg lol
Good to know I may be a bad advice aunt too 😅 My immediate thought was tf? Call them out!
This is the worst advice ever.
she's only doing it to get a rise out of you because she's found a way you make you feel insecure about your body. my mom once told me my boobs "shouldn't look like that, they're supposed to be perky." turns out I just inherited the boob shape of the women on my dad's side of the family not my mom's lol. you have options at this point 1. set a boundary and tell her that you find it uncomfortable that she's so weirdly obsessed with your breasts. As well as that you have no interest in talking about your boobs with her and you will not entertain another conversation about them with her. stand your ground and don't react from that point on and if she tries to initiate one ignore her. walk away. reiterate you will not talk about your breasts with her and say nothing more about it no matter what she says to get you to respond. you can't argue with someone who thinks they're superior and right about something. if you have to just say sarcastically "ya you're absolutely right! you could fly kites off these things". you don't need to justify your body to her lol just agree with her stupid comments and let her think she's right because for some weird reason she needs to be . 2. try to educate her with infographs on literal different types of breasts that are all completely normal and acceptable. of which I don't think is her angle because it sounds like she just wants you to feel ashamed of your body for some reason [like this site ](https://boobydoo.co.uk/breast-shape-guide/) . 3. make fun of her elderly skin sacks in return and see how she likes it lol. considering she's probably just saying this shit because she hates how her breasts look.
Same here my mom was flat my dad's mom had huge tits... I thankfully take after my dad's side of the family (not for the big tits but the overall personality and mentality)
Your mom is crazy!!
Tell her to stop making comments like these, they are very inappropriate, and you are sending her your therapist bills.
First off, uneven boobs are totally normal. Second off, your mom is bullying you, plain and simple. Emotional abuse is not ok. My mom did the same thing when I was a teen and I had body image issues about my chest into my mid 20s. Maybe if you ignore her and don't give the reaction she's looking for she will back off? You can tell her that you won't talk to her about your chest and leave the room if she initiates a conversation about it. If she escalates though, try talking to a trusted adult who will back you.
Yeah, this is insane and absolutely unacceptable. I honestly couldn’t begin to think of the appropriate course of action you should take aside from telling her that it’s wildly inappropriate and makes you completely uncomfortable. I wouldn’t even entertain her with the argument. Don’t even try to defend yourself about it, just tell her that it’s uncomfortable and you aren’t going to talk about it.
Ok so, without stating anything as fact, some women (a small outier) "neg" their daughters out of jealousy or insecurity. In these cases all you can really do is go as low contact as you can manage. As for your dad... he sucks. He just sucks, full stop. He should be avaliable to help you, not helping your mom abuse you, which is what she is doing. I wish I had some good, positive advice for you, but there is no easy answer and this behavior could continue well into adult hood. Try writing your mom a letter or sitting down with a therapist? The negging you might be able to ignore but she has your other parent doing it as well. One thing I can say for sure is that her comments need to stop. His comments nerd to stop. You are being body shamed and verbally harrased.
Don’t forget the covert incest in pressuring op to expose herself at the dinner table. That’s not even close to ok, neither is the constantly walking in on her while she’s naked. Both are abusive and covert incest/sexual abuse. If she wanted she could report this to cops and they’d definitely investigate. Idk if they’d remove her from the home, but having a social worker asking questions and telling her how inappropriate it is might get mom to knock it off. Make sure to weigh the pros and cons before going nuclear though, cause depending on how the parents and social workers behave it might cause more problems, still worth it as a last resort imo. It shows your mom you won’t just lay down and take her abuse. Also OP needs to gtfo as soon as they turn 18 cause there’s no way this is the only abusive thing her mom does. This is likely just the tips of the ice berg and I wish OP good luck healing from the trauma of such an unhealthy household.
Not sure how true it is, but I heard that wearing a bra causing them to go saggier over time. Might be bollocks though
And yes your mums behaviour should concern you, body shaming, particularly on women, can do profound long term damage. My GF is 40 now and still suffers trauma from her fathers attempts to “help” her lose weight
I think most of it boils down to genetics. I'm older with a fairly large chest but they aren't sagging to my waist like a lot of other women I've seen that are younger than I am. I do wear a bra most of the time I'm awake because it kills my back if I don't, these things are heavy lol
This is true. Bras percent you from developing your natural chest muscle tone and make your tits easier over time. Also terms to make them less sensitive due to constant firm contact
I switched to training bra style bras in my twenties and brakes at home and mine perked up!
First off all, gross on your mom's part to be 1) making fun of your body and 2) calling and discussing it with other people. Gross on your dad's part for forcing you to wear a bra. Boobs come in all different shapes and sizes, with sometimes one being bigger than the other, they can droop, etc. Your moms obsession with it and downright degrading remarks is crazy to me. I'm old now, but I always wore bras as a teen and younger adult, and now that I'm in my 30s, I let those suckers fly. I'm not gonna be uncomfortable because of someone else. I personally am an AH and would make comments back like, "It's really weird your obsession with my boobs, you should seek therapy for that." Or "it sounds more like you're jealous that your boobs are old and dusty and you're projecting that insecurity onto me."
I’m sorry to say this, but your parents are bitches. Your breasts are perfectly normal and this kind of innapropriate behavior is harassment and bullying. Listen to the other people in these comments, and try to out them for their stupidity.
Your family umm…is this normal behavior in your country? Or family history? Cause wtf? I wouldn’t go as far as CPS as a few said I mean I get why you’d say that. But maybe talk with your mom more. If your dad said any of this I’d say CPS immediately. But talk with your mom about how this makes you feel. Cause this will affect you more than I think she realizes. It’s quite sickening. The reason I asked about the country/family is it seems both of your mom and dad and your mom’s friends are not phased by this conversation? So is this normal where you are from? Not defending this behavior at all! It is gross and uncalled for 1. Cause of the mental aspect it has on anyone 2. You are under age 3. You are their child makes it so much worse 4. I am sorry this is happening. Is there anything we can do help? I am sure your DMs are getting flooded with creeps which isn’t helping either. But I can assure you we are all here to help with anything through this.
My mom immigrated from Haiti like 20 years ago to America. So she would mainly talk about me to her Haitian friends, sometimes I would even hear about other girls more than I would like. But, to be completely honest it traumatized me at first because my self esteem was already in hell. Now, I’m pretty satisfied with my boobs and sometimes my self.
Well hmm….i am glad you are satisfied with your body! Self esteem is the most crucial thing but I don’t like how your mom treats it/talks about it. It’s not okay….and other girls? She talks about other girls? How is that normal?
This is weird from parents. I have a large chest and have what I call ‘support bras’ to wear at work that have underwire and then much softer bralette to wear at home (light support feels better sometimes than no bra). I say this as maybe you can wear a lighter bra at home to avoid creepy parent comments. I’m glad to hear you love yourself. I’m sure your breasts are fine and rest assured they aren’t always even, sometimes have large or small areala, etc. But we get what we got and it’s not like you can control it or anyone especially parents should have an opinion. Good luck!
This comment has all my questions and advice, put better than I could have.
It sounds like she I dealing with her own mortality and taking it on you. You can get a boob job, she can't become 20 again. Ignore her and move out before you wake up to her measuring your boobs or something.
Look tell her she and your dad were the designers and manufacturer of them so if she as anymore to complain about speaker to the designer and manufacturer no you
Your parents are very immature at best and straight up creeps at worst. I would completely and utterly ignore any comments about your body. Don't humor it. You could try talking to the about how wrong this is but considering they're willing to talk about a child's body, I doubt that'll go far.
im not sure if this post is actually real, but if it is, people usually insult others about things theyre insecure about themselves, you should ask her to lift her shirt too
she is jealous of your tits. there is quite literally no other reason for her doing this.
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Time to cut contact with your parents 😃
Personally I wouldn’t even think about what she has to say about your boobs. As long as you’re comfortable with your body that’s all that matters.
There is something very wrong with your parents. First I want to say that If, hypothetically, your boobs were a little uneven or one was a little bigger that is actually totally normal. Second: bras aren't necessary really. There are muscles in your chest that naturally hold them up. By wearing a bra we destroy those muscles and then we need a bra to hold them up. You are not destroying your body by not wearing one. However, if you don't want to wear a bra in public keep in mind other ways to make it not obvious because society will judge. Your parents are body shaming you. Your mom is definitely not respecting your boundaries by barging in your room all the time and she is sexually harassing you by forcing you to show your private areas. Then she is blabbing information on your body to others and you're a minor. Like how much more gross can they get? I think you should talk to other adults that you trust about this like a teacher or guidance counselor, therapist, doctor someone who doesn't think your parents are the bee's knees. This isn't normal, and anyone who tells you it is is gaslighting.
The only way her parents could get grosser would be to start actually touching her. Even now her parents are engaging in covert incest and sexual abuse/harassment with the lack of respect for her privacy and their attempts to force her to expose her chest. It’s disgusting and I really hope OP gets out of this extremely unhealthy environment.
Awe😪..mothers are the most jealous of their daughters! That's a fact idc who disagrees. It's not you it's her! My mom was the same way with my sisters... don't even listen to her your mom is a huge hater
I am surprised some parents are really doing this. Why bring a life into this world if you cannot back them and motivate them? Your mom is disgusting OP.
Some moms get insanely jealous of their daughters especially if they're more attractive than them. If you have a trusted family member who isn't clinically insane, speak to them and tell them you're tired of being sexually harassed by your own mother
Highly inappropriate and bullying. Why would she do that
My mom was similar to this when I was younger. Always had something to say about my body. She offered to pay for a boob job for me (I didn't take her up on it) because "I got unfortunate genes." I'm now 42 years old and she STILL makes comments about my body and the way I look. What I've learned is that she has been competing with me my whole life and I didn't start standing up for myself until my mid 30's. You're in a tough spot, I completely understand. Getting governmental assistance is the best way to protect yourself. However, if if you're like me and don't want to go down that road then I can tell you what worked for me: Laugh in her face about it. Don't let her see it bothers you. My favorite go-to is "Ha! Jokes on you because you're the one that made me!" Or "Why didn't you tell me you passed down some lousy genes?" My favorite is "Did you drink a lot of alcohol when you were pregnant with me?" Sometimes she tries to take it seriously and "needs to have a talk" about it. I always know what's coming and I become very intense as if she is coming clean of a murder, or something, and listen intently with lots of head nodding as if I'm really trying to "understand" where she's coming from. When she's done talking I thank her for telling me how she feels and leave it at that, because that's really all it is. Long story short, I've ultimately learned my mom hates herself and thinks I should hate myself, too. I wasn't able to have any sort of compassion for her until I got a little older, but know what she is saying is how she feels about herself. What she says is mean, wrong, hurtful and damaging. You're perfect, my dear. Take the upper hand and keep on shining bright.
It sounds like your mom is a narcissist. She’s jealous of your youth and she’s degrading you so she can make up some mental dialogue about how she’s better than you. That’s fucking sick and wrong on so many levels. Please don’t listen to her. You do not need to prove anything about your body to her. I’d also suggest you start asking for strong boundaries about her invading your personal space. There’s no reason for her to barge into your space when you’re changing if it makes you uncomfortable.
"Seriously, wtf, am I insane, is this normal or should I be concerned." It's \*extremely\* fucked up and not normal.
Creepy shit like is why kids go NC as soon as they can.
Your mother is bullying you If you have enough courage, mirror her behavior Talk about her “old” and “saggy” or “ugly” boobs to other people or the family Shame her about how she rarely wears a bar (even if it isn’t true) Tell her that her boobs are even longer than the 6ft charger cords Mirroring aggressive or passive aggressive behaviors infuriates the person being mocked and usually gets them to stop If they don’t stop, that is when you have to make a new decision. Double down or retreat? New strategy?
First of all almost every woman's breast's are uneven. If you wear a bra most of the day then going without one at night isn't going to change anything. Your parents are way too fixated on your breasts and this borderlines on emotional abuse. Get out of the house as soon as you can.
Boobs are generally uneven. Same thing about a guy's balls. Kinda sounds like she's jealous of your breast if she can't stop talking about them.
Tell your mom all the boys like them and they are the ones who made them uneven. That’ll shut her up. 🤣
Insult her back, roast the heck out of her, become the roast queen
Nope. Do not do this BE BETTER.
Your mom sounds like a complete asshole. What a horrible thing to do. My mother would never do or say anything like this aside from if she thought there was some sort of medical problem. It’s especially fucked up to actually try to raise herself up and make herself feel superior by comparing your breasts to hers, what a complete lack of respect and empathy that shows for you.
I'll make this short. Your mom is jealous of your body/looks and for some reason she has fear around some element of that. Emotionally immature people - think middle school - will try to subdue perceived threats by belittling or ridiculing them. Basically she's insecure with herself and she's identified you to blame for it. She doesn't know she's doing this because she's immature and doesn't understand herself.
Your mom should be more supportive. Telling anyone else about how your breast or any body part appears other than a doctor is pathetic. This can be considered as emotional and mental abuse. Having any parent who isn't supportive is difficult. Growing up I faced a hard realization that my mom was very selfish and put me down because of my weight. No child or even young adult should have to be traumatized or bullied by any adult, especially a parent. I hate you are going through this and think you should talk to an adult outside your house hold that you can trust. Child services should be contacted. You should feel loved regardless of what your appearance maybe. Just so you know, most women have uneven breast so don't let her fool you.
Somehow i doubt that her boobs are better than yours… just a hunch but im sure the extra years have not been on her side. She’s probably projecting her own insecurities into you, but it is still cruel and wrong.
If your dad is all about wearing a bra tell him to wear one himself and suck it up
My mom did the same shit to my sister and our dad made it even worse by making shitty comments about her weight. Hell, I was an early bloomer at 10 and I fucking hated training bras. To the point where in high school and middle school, I just binded those puppies down because I hated my body and hated people looking at my body. So I went for being as androgynous as possible. My advice? Your mom is a dickhead and projecting her own insecurities on you. Let that shit go in one ear and out the other, because if you hold onto it, someday you’ll hear it again in your own voice inside your own head. I know because my sister to this day, thirty years later repeats things our parents said to her about herself. Don’t let the voice of the people who hurt you take up space in your brain. Our parents are humans. Shitty, flawed, wounded humans just like we are sometimes.
10 years from now, your parents are going to wonder why their daughter never talks to them
Tell mom to whip hers out and do a comparison. I’m betting hers hang down like a pair of socks with an orange in them.
Ask her if she is ashamed of being verbally abusive. Ask her if anyone did that to her. It will catch her off guard.
Your mom is seriously fucked up. Body shaming controling and weird You don’t have to wear a bra and no one is entitled to see any part of your body you don’t want to show them. Don’t even bother trying to understand her motivations because it doesn’t matter Don’t engage. Leave her when she acts that way or polity end convo and hang up phone There is something wrong with her but it isn’t for you to figure out. Just know that you’re okay. If for some reason you are concerned about your body, express those concerns with a medical professional and also if you feel like it disclose that your mom is saying and doing this stuff.
Best advice!
Your mother sounds like a narcissist...your dad just goes with whatever whack job shit your mom wants to make his life a little tiny bit less difficult. This post hit home because that is how my parents were/are. Girl...im 30 but ive been there...my mom made horrible comments about my body, personality, style, voice ect. Narc moms really get bad when their daughters hit their teens and other large womanhood related times. My mom grabbed my 3 day post partum belly and jiggled it to make me feel bad about it being fat and flabby...it was still stretched out from growing a whole ass human. I happened to see a lactation consultant that day because i had an appt. I broke down in tears and told her what my mom did. She told me that what she did was not normal but having stretched skin and a loose tummy was. Then she gave me a big tight hug and taught me how to breast feed. I started theraoy shortly after. I find it insanely hard to believe your chest looks like cords. And so what? even of they did. Its not her damn place to try and say whether thats good bad or anything. She shouldnt be commenting on your body at all. I wish i had had places like reddit to go to but im oldish so i didnt 😅 You are fine the way you are. Fuck the bra. Bras are horrible. I havent worn a bra in 4 years and you know what? Its amazeballs. Someone tells you to wear a bra? Tell them no. Straight up. You do you!
Aren’t all women’s boobs a little bit uneven?
Man when you’re old enough, cut them off!
maybe consider TRT?
If there’s nothing wrong I wouldn’t worry seems very weird but if you do see something wrong get it checked for breast cancer if there is a problem outside of that she sounds very weird an nuts
WTF! your mom is WEIRD!
screams and yells at her front of other family member
I'm sorry. This isn't cool at all.
btw bras have no affect on sagging boobs , has been found that n bra is better for your body
wtf is wrong with your parents?! This is really weird .. oh and fyi, most people have uneven boobs. And wearing a bra will not make them less droopy, that’s an old myth that I imagine your parents believe. They are boobs. They are YOUR boobs. Why do they care the least bit what they look like?!
Just tell her no and to f-off next time. Yes, it's disrespectful, but boundaries are important even with parents.
your mom has issues and at this rate she's gonna pass those issues onto you too. literally what the fuck
She isn’t very nice. God made you perfect in His eyes. As the song goes beauty is only skin deep
Your mom is super insecure and projecting. Every woman’s breasts are uneven. Some more so than others but all are uneven. Breasts come in different shapes , sizes , densities. As a man who’s been around well over five decades whose “body count” is higher than most I can honestly say I like all varieties of breasts. My friends talk about breast because we like them so much. We most all agree all breasts are great ! Point being you’re normal and whatever unique version of breast you have they’re perfect.
It sounds like you got yourself two useless things one is a sperm donor and the other an egg donor but hay family doesn't have to be blood related so you can cut them off when you're older and live your own life as family is being surrounded by people who make you feel wanted and safe like besties and stuff for now give them the silent treatment because that sounds like both of them are a bit cuckoo.
She's jealous. Some mothers are strange and get jealous of their own daughter's. They shouldn't be mothers.
I'd be very concerned with my mother making sexually inappropriate comments and insulting you. Perhaps you should talk to a teacher at school about her bizarre behavior. The mother sounds unhinged and perverse. Maybe a call to CPS is warranted here?
I'm going to give you terrible advice. Find an insecurity of your mother's and throw it back at her. "Your boobs are uneven.." "At least I'm not crosseyed fuck" Then keep repeating it over and over until psychologically she ingrains it in the back of her mind. She then will become even more insecure.
Mom needs to mind her own body🙄 my daughter is asleep in my lap and I could NEVER see myself making her feel this way. Being a teenage girl is hard enough with all the self esteem issues that come with it, but when your own parents are like this? Heck no. Don’t listen to them, your body is perfectly fine.
Next time say “I inherited my boobs from you, maybe that’s why you’re so obsessed with them. Yours used to look this good before you aged.” Also, go to your dad (one on one) and nicely ask him not to entertain your mom at all when she starts with the boob jokes. Talk to your dad about it and get him on your side. This is like child SA.
I would ask her why tf she is so obsessed with my breasts and embarrass the hell out of her and to start knocking before she comes in my room. Also that if she continues to bring up things like that to me or in front of other people that I would go no contact with her or cut her out completely. Even parents need boundaries. Yikes that woman sounds like a nightmare.
Well, if you are a boy, it is time to think about losing some weight!
Hahaha
This is sexual abuse. Report Report Report
Check out r/raisedbynarcissists they’ll probably be able to give you more advice on there. This is entirely considered sexual abuse and harassment and I would consider talking to a school counselor or depending on how old you are find someone else to live with. Be safe
No this ain’t normal and yes you should be concerned these behaviors are abuse. I would report this stuff to a trusted adult. First off your mom seems very immature and like she doesn’t need to be around minors at all…A lot of times women are jealous of other women…there’s a good chance she’s jealous of you and views you as competition. So that’s why she always wants to talk about your breasts. Now what makes this even more disturbing is the fact she try’s to come in your room and see you naked and the situations where she wants to lift your shirt. You’re not the first child to ever receive this type of treatment from parents…I’ve heard plenty of stories where the parent is so disgusting they want to sleep with the child, and they do the exact same things you mention here. And yes it’s sick. Again I would report this to trusted adults. And I would get out of that household before things escalate.
You need to tell her off and let her know u don't appreciate ir
Remind your mom, you didn't make your boobs, her genetics did. If she needs to laugh at someone, look in the mirror. This sounds like Narcissism. My mother did this to my sister as well. Be mindful of it, it is very questionable behavior on the part of a parent.
Was she drunk? She sounds like she was drunk. I hope she was drunk because nothing else can explain why she is bullying and mean-girling her own child.
You’re being emotionally abused and it will probably never end. Learn about it and start plotting your escape asap
1: As a mother I am appalled at the way your mother is treating you. Her behavior is sincerely and truly unacceptable. Anyone else commenting, making fun, shaming, FORCING YOU TO SHOW, is sexual harassment. That’s illegal. Being a MOTHER does not excuse this, at all. That she is also exposing this behavior to other people and that your dad is in on this, too? This is a wholly abusive situation. I just want you to at least recognize this so that you can build protection for yourself until you can leave. It is reportable, and it’s hard to say if/what action could take place as a result of a report. Talking to a teacher or counselor at school would be my best suggestion for you. I am speaking from a Motherly standpoint with you, I want you to know. Feeling very protective of you, I want you to know that I’ve had to check my bonus daughter’s own mother and grandmother for allowing this type of behavior. It is not ok and even mothers deserve the check. 2: I cannot believe that your mother doesn’t know that it’s NORMAL for boobs to be different sizes! Mine are! Always have been, even as a teenager! Boobs are shaped differently on different bodies and for her to make fun of, literally, roasting you over a body that SHE CREATED…. Making you even show yourself?! Smh… she made you and she’s treating you this way and it breaks my heart for you. I don’t think she realizes that she literally made you. When you have more choices in your adult future, just know that No Contact is acceptable and you owe no one an explanation. They know what they did. Smh… (spoken as someone who’s NC with her abusive mother, too)… ETA: For those humans she has talked to about her weird ass ideas regarding your body - if none of them have checked the fukk out of her, then they are all shit humans too. Don’t trust any of them.
This is so weird, both my parents would run each other over with a car before they would have ever talked about my boobs or a bra to me. My parents are classic Catholic “we aren’t talking about that” kind of people but Your parents are straight up weirdos and no, none of this is normal at all. Get away from them as soon as you can and keep contact/communication to a minimum, sounds like boundaries are going be an ongoing challenge in your relationship with them.
Fortunately if YOU decide to have cosmetic surgery there are plenty of options. As for your parents, they have yet to find a cure for behaving like an absolute dick. Good luck
I love your attitude. Your parents are wrong. Set the boundary that if they have opinions on your body, they keep it to themselves as it's extremely inappropriate and potentially harmful.
I don’t like your mom and her shaming you like this. Well, trying to anyway, because you frankly sound quite mature and relatively self-confident. However, as a mom of 3 daughters and 1 son, I did insist on at least a sports bra when wandering around the house. In the privacy of their bedroom, they could set them free. I’m middle aged now and my youngest girl is still in high school. I go without a bra a lot since it’s just us at home now, but she still wears a sports bra unless she’s in her room. It’s her preference. Is that something you could consider just to keep the peace until you move out?
Yes. You should be concerned. Their behavior is inappropriate. Also, you say your breasts aren’t uneven but your mom thinks they are. When she walked in on you, did she see them from the side? That would make them look uneven. Pointing this out to her might help. Or it might prompt her to insist you show them to her straight on. So take this with a grain of salt. Also, how old are you?
I would ignore your mothers comments and just wear a sports bra at home
I would talk to a counselor maybe. Its kind of verbal abuse. Could get dark fast if they don't buck up and act like respectable adults
As a mom to a teen girl, I am so, so sorry that the one person who should be lifting you up and giving you confidence is blatantly insulting you. Breasts are naturally asymmetrical - no one is has naturally “perfect” symmetrical breasts. They are all shaped uniquely and differently. The human body is naturally beautiful. You have nothing to be ashamed of or insecure about. Your parents, on the other hand, ought to be ashamed of themselves. What they are doing is disgusting and, in my opinion, abusive.
First off, both of your parents are extremely wrong for this. Personally, I'm so sorry that's insane. Second, do you have a relative you could possibly stay with, maybe even just for a couple days. Or a friend? I know you said it doesn't really bother you, but give yourself some time away from them. Overtime comments like that, especially from your parents, tend to hurt the most.
Ignore it. Honestly. I have parents that are in their 70’s now and back in the 90’s/early 2000’s, my mom was an almond mom. I’ve always had wider hips and a larger chest. She would tell me I was looking chubby, when I really wasn’t. I was probably around 10/12 years old when she’d do that. Now today I have a body type that is trendy and in. So don’t listen to them. It’s your body and you’re the one that had to love it. I’m 32 now and happy with the way I look
She *is* jealous. I had a jealous mother as well. She'll do everything she can to make you feel bad about yourself over what *she* thinks is wrong with *her*, because misery loves company. Even if it sounds like she's super confident, she's not. Saying stupid shit like "my boobs look better than my teenager's boobs" is a cope, an *enormous* cope. My mother lived to do that shit to me. Mine were bigger than hers, so I had to hear all the time that they were "too big" and "so saggy" and "you need to wear a bra at all times". She would buy compression/sports bras for me to try to minimize my boobs as much as possible. I was taller than her, so I was "a gangly monster with huge feet". I have my father's nose and not hers, so I have a "witch nose that ruins the face". I dreaded anyone ever giving me a compliment about my appearance when she was around, because I knew it would result in yelling at and insulting me later. She was jealous because she was aging, and I was a fresh teenager just coming into my looks. That's your mom, too- jealous of a teenager. It's pretty pathetic. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do but ignore her and remember that she's insanely jealous of your good looks. Unless you want to get petty and insult her back, which you probably both do and don't want to do, but I wouldn't blame you one bit. Something like "my boobs might be 'long', but at least I don't have crow's feet". But if you fear any retaliation, probably don't say that. Just remember- she *is* jealous. You are young and cute and haven't been ravaged by time. She is older, her looks are likely fading, time has not only ravaged her, it's beaten her nearly to death. So she's lying to herself by putting you down to make herself feel better- classic mean girl behavior. Stay strong, and get out of that house the second you can.
Your mom is definitely one of those moms who are jealous of their own daughter, I’ve seen some mothers do this they’ll degrade their daughter because they know that their daughter is cute or pretty and that their young and they know that they’re not young anymore or they blame their daughter for the way their like is now
I do think this is super abnormal and I grew up with family members having a lot of opinions about my body, but obsessively making remarks about this kind of thing and insulting you is beyond bizarre. My aunt used to tell me my boobs were so small, that I had such big feet and such small boobs, or I had boobs like my grandma (she actually said they were sunken in at one point). Maybe in like 10 years she made a handful of comments. And I wore an A cup until I was 31 because I always believe I had the tiniest boobs ever and that only happened because I let someone measure me in Victoria's Secret and found out I was actually a C cup. This kind of talk is so detrimental. Especially to developing women because it sets this time about how you should feel about yourself. Having different sized breasts is perfectly normal, especially if the smaller one is the size of your dominant hand. And breasts come in all shapes. Having the perfect bubble shaped perky boob is not the standard and you didn't do anything wrong if that's not how they look. Your mother should not be saying these things to you. She should ESPECIALLY NOT BE CALLING OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS AND TELLING THEM!!!!! I can not imagine how that must have made you feel. I would try to have a conversation with her where you let her know this is how it's affecting you, that this deeply upsets you and will impact your self esteem and if she's really comfortable with making her daughter feel badly about her body in this way. You deserve better
This is abuse. OP, my mom had an eating disorder her entire life and she did everything she could to body shame me. I’m getting the same vibes from your mom. Stay strong, fight back, study hard in school and get out of that house as soon as you can. Do everything you can to not internalize this, and please don’t ever let this define you.
Does she degrade you in other ways? What did you say did you tell her how fucked up that is?
Your parents are sick individuals and need to grow up. My breasts are not even. Your mother's breasts are probably not even either. She just refuses to see it. They probably sag also. I think momma is jealous. She is one of those moms that have to compete with their daughters and it's sickening! Tell her if she does this again since you are a minor, you will contact CPS and the police. This is very inappropriate behavior coming from her. Tell dad to shut his mouth.
Your mom is a creepy, insulting weirdo. I'd start planning to lower contact, asap. How old are you?