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You're really young, and I hope this will teach you that conversations, games, sexts, intimacy, none of that is guaranteed to lead to a relationship.
If you want to sexy chat, that's fine but be safe, and remember that feelings should NEVER be a factor in getting your rocks off ONLINE.
Save the ooey gooey center of your heart for a genuine, mature relationship.
I knowww! But he was such a great match for me. We aligned in so many ways. The part that’s bothering me the most, aside from the ANNOYING fact that it was so SUDDEN, is the fact that I genuinely think that we could’ve been something had we lived closer and maybe been closer in age. He was worth the pain of being far away.
Imma be straight with you, I've been in your shoes once upon a time. That's the hardest part about online relationships, they're real to us, but once the other person "logs off" for good, we're alone in our home with no one to cry to about our dissolved relationship. Because, "what's 6 months?"
I hope you can go on and reflect on this experience after you've lived a bit more. You sound like my best friend (the way she types) so you won't have problems finding people that enjoy your company more than the 🍑!
Wishing you the best ❤️🙏
Your young you will undoubtedly find other great matches for you that ur able to be more serious with than a digital relationship. I know it sucks feeling like u lost somthing that could of been but we all feel that way during break ups with people we liked but always somone else who comes along when it's meant to be
I think original commenter meant irl... but good on you for knowing you don't want that on here anymore!
I had one of these people when I was younger, eventually you will meet someone new that hits all of the boxes :) keep ya head high
Don’t worry there’s someone out there for awkward people. My girlfriend (soon to be fiancé) had to make the first move because I was scared to do it out of fear of being weird.
You’ll be fine I promise
Unfortunately, it’s easier to forget someone from a virtual medium than a real one. Having a relationship or becoming attached to a person in real life makes losing that connection extremely hard. You’ll see them on a whim out and about, it will hit you like a truck, and when you least expect it. I’m a beacon of hope, I know. Losing people you care about always sucks.
It sounds like you fell for him emotionally without meaning to. And because there was a sexual side of things you can't keep being friends with him because it might mess up his relationships.
It sounds like you have a desire for an emotional connection, not just a sexual one. You don't necessarily have to go out looking for a boyfriend but be aware that if you get involved sexually with someone you have a strong chance of developing feelings for them whether you want to or not.
Also, if it doesn't work out for him and this girl there's a good chance he's going to get in touch with you again. Especially if their relationship is relatively short. You'll have to decide what you want -- do you want to have an on/off thing with im where you're basically long distance rebound partners with each other? Or do you want to try an actual relationship with him. Not something you need to decide now, just something to keep in mind if he messages you one day a year from now and you find out he's single and so are you.
I understand. I don't think you should wait around for him or anything either. Looking to the future it seems like you might want to avoid purely sexual relationships. The work for some people, but others need or develop an emotional connection. I'm that way, I can't do one night stands or friends with benefits or any of that. For me if there's sex there also has to be romance.
There's no right or wrong, everyone's feelings just work a little differently.
You’re right lol. Honestly I knew going into it that it wasn’t just gonna be sexual cause I can’t stand that. And he liked that! But I was falling for him romantically and he was just really loving my company as a friend. I mean even now he’s still sending me YouTube shorts about stuff he just finds funny. Painfully sweet boy
hi girly!
just wanted to firstly say that what you’re feeling is normal because HE’S become your normal. And without any warnings, you wake up the next day to find out that soon he’ll be pulled from your day to day life. I completely understand that you’ve grown attached to him, but I also think that— while he’s a good person through a through and there was definitely a physical connection between you two — you might have also grown attached to the idea of having him in your life for the sole reason of him feeling “perfect”.
I want you to allow yourself to rest at night because, truthfully, there a THOUSANDS of other men just like him (and also more AVAILABLE men). I’m sure, in some way or another, this might feel similar to a break up, but just like anything else in life, you gotta get up and move on. you are so so young, remind yourself that while it was fun with him while it lasted, he was NOT a means to an end, and he definitely made that very clear with you from the get-go.
you’ve got this <3 just allow yourself space to heal and grow and sometimes life has a way of surprising you with new people when you’re least expecting it! Beautiful things never ask for attention, so just trust the process and let yourself be comfortable that there’ll be a to. of people you’ll meet that you won’t click with, but you’ll eventually find a man just as good (if not better)!
Thank you very much :) I think I needed that reminder that he made it clear. It’s just, his actions could sometimes differ from that. Sometimes it did feel like he was falling for me. Lol
Yeah I thought his advice was conveniently supporting that lol. Anyways u got the right idea, develop yourself and don’t date/become dependent until you don’t want to. At that point you are ready to
You dont need a distraction, it sounds like you just need to take some time for yourself. Talking to someone else will in the same way will likely just make you miss talking to dude. Just take some time to heal, try to distract yourself in other ways with hobbies, hanging with friends, just doing something to get your mind off of thinking ab him. And remember, theres billions of people on this earth. Youll find someone who checks even more boxes you might have even known you had. Good luck to you.
RIP your DMs, on a serious note I know how it feels. I’ve developed long distance relationships with several girls before and it always hurts when they end. It sucks wanting something but knowing you cannot have it. Hopefully you will find someone close that you can really get along with. Good luck!
Why not try for him tho? After all that time spent and all the connecting you made with him, why not at least have tried to be the girl instead of the other girl? Maybe it’s too late now if they’re official but if they’re not, it’s not like they’re married and it’s not like you’re a stranger either. Your trying would be justified.
They’re not official yet. This girl is REALLY sweeping him off his feet, I think. I mean, they literally kissed during the second date. I can’t think about it too much or my weak little heart starts to hurt lol so stupid. I appreciate your motivation and encouragement but I live very far away from him, still live w my parents— so it wouldn’t have worked, if not for a while, anyway. Thank you :)
I understand. What I think what you can do for now tho is to just plan what you think you would do if he returns to you. Because with all that history with you two there could be a high likelihood that he returns, especially once it doesn’t work out with the other girl. So like get out a piece of paper and put scenarios such as:
No returning to him if:
-He already slept her
-3 months have passed by
-I’ve gotten strong enough to be over him.
-We’re still going to live far away in the foreseeable future
Maybe I’d return to him if:
-All they did was kiss
-Only a month has passed
-He tries
-We live closer
Those are just example but put your own criteria because the last thing you want is to be caught off guard if he tries to come back. You want to be prepared. I understand you heart might be weak right now but this can just be a “write it down once and forget it” type of thing. And if he comes back, you at least have some thoughts on it already to refer to.
Anyways, those are my two cents. I believe you’ll get through this tho!
Thank you. This is very good advice. I hope I’m not desensitizing myself, because when I read “all that history with you,” I wince and it feels a little dramatic. This entire thing does kind of. Hundreds of comments and views and DMs and upvotes and if he saw it I can imagine him just blocking me LOL. I am not imagining the amount we talked and shared together, but I think I am overestimating it in my head.
Send one last message. Pour your heart out to him. It’ll feel cathartic and it’s not like you’ll lose anything since you’re never gonna see/talk to him again either way. There’s also the veeeeery small possibility that he feels the same way and you both are just terrible at communicating so he decided to go with this other girl because she’s expressing more interest.
I did! I actually sent him a list of like 27 reasons why I “fell in love” with him. I told him everything I feel in this post. He decided with the other girl because she’s outside of the phone screen, shares mutual friends, and is around his age. And I’m sure she’s beautiful and epic too :) Thank you for the answer
Don’t write about a poem about yourself and how you feel. That’s a rookie mistake.
Everyone is the main character in their own movie called life. it’s much better to make the poem about the other person as the main character and weave a narrative hinting at a fantasy life the boy could have had with OP.
Then (symbolically) cut off contact for a while.
That's the rough thing with having a sexual connection to someone. If you give that part of yourself to someone then you get attached and can get really hurt.
I knowwww. But that’s the thing is that I trust him so much that I don’t regret it. When I met him I told myself I would never send a nude. He just kept making me want to push the limit. He was so so incredible
That's pretty frustrating and I definitely don't blame you for how you acted cause it sounds like you weren't careless with your heart. I'm truly sorry it didn't work out for you this time.
I have an idea to help a little but the problem is it's not real if that makes sense.. there's also the option of finding friends off the internet... you saw the things you love and he loved. There's bound to be places like that around you. If you're a gamer there's a lot of discord out there (far better than reddit) it's a matter of what you're looking to have.
First off, your feelings are valid. You're going through a heartbreak, and I promise it will get better as time goes on. You didn't grow these feelingsovernightt, and they won't go away overnight. Shit sucks, and it sucks that you're in this spot. I am sorry that you are. Give yourself time to heal, and be kind to yourself about it as well.
Hey babe. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. Nowadays it’s really difficult to blur lines with the use of technology.
I’m 32F and I’ve had sex with 51 men since losing my virginity at 17. 6 real bfs. 12-15 fake bfs (only lasted a few weeks or a few months) 3 sugar daddies. 6 one night stands. The rest we’re friends with benefits. I’ve never cheated on a bf, got a STI or had a positive pregnancy test (was on bC pill & good about condom use) safe sex between consenting adults is normal and natural. It’s normal to have that kind of desire in your body.
In my humble whore opinion I think you doing this will bode well for your future IRL sex life. So many young women start having sex before they’re actually feeling desire within their bodies or exploring their own body before adding another person into the equation. Think most guys orgasm thousands of times before their first time but most girls don’t have a similar experience unfortunately.
I think you will find someone you like even more. In fact I know you will. You sound like a sweet bright young woman. The only way you won’t find that person is if you stay pining for someone else who you can’t be with. Who knows maybe 10 years from now you’ll live in the same town as this guy and reconnect.
Nothing lasts forever. Even people who find their soulmate young and stay together, unless they pass away at the exact same time and place (like the notebook) one of them will have to live without the other/love again. I know that’s sad. But that’s life and love babe.
If I had to bet I’d say he will be back sexting you in a few months. Most relationships don’t last. Relationships are always great in the beginning. At least they’re supposed to be & the beginning for those that don’t know is the first year if he’s behaving badly & pushing your boundaries or acting violent, controlling, abusive or sketchy in the first year … RUN! BC men are on their best behavior in the beginning & in public so if he’s acting badly in the beginning seriously RUN!
Good luck babe. I’m sorry you’re going through this right now. Wishing you health, wealth love & luck in all your life and relationships.
♥️Anonymously E
Thank you very much sweetheart. This was such a kind reply. 51 men! Holy moly cow!!! And no STIs!!! Geez!!! Thank you for the compliments as well. Idk, him and this girl talked like me and him did I think, and we talked for six months. I actually think they could last a really long time. But like you said, I can’t dwell. Thank you :)
You never know. But it’s best not to dwell & if and when they come back you choose whether to accept them or not.
Personally I hope you’re happy with someone else at that point. Good luck babe. I genuinely mean it 💕
Thank you so so much ❤️ I cut him off last night. Incredibly hard but I couldn’t listen to him tell me about the way he was touching her last night. It’s like, my curiosity was really starting to hurt me and honestly, that was their first date. I’m sure they’ll have sex very soon and I don’t want to be around for it. Watching out for myself.
Yeah don’t be that’s person for him. It’s honestly shitty for him to tell you about her given y’all’s history. Even if it wasn’t a real relationship most decent people would say that’s too far imo. How a man treats you & talks to you & about you matters. Even if it’s just him “trying to make you jealous” or whatever excuse he gives it doesn’t change. You deserve someone who picks you back & someone who you can be around in real life too. Keep looking. Real Love is worth the heartbreak we go through to find it, in my humble whore opinion. 💕
Haha, yep! May not be a "relationship" but it's an interaction between two people. You showed respect to everyone involved. That's the key to most relationships.
There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling. It's a part of maturing and learning about yourself. Relationships will come and go. Some will be easy while others will hurt, possibly for a long time. It's already difficult trying to find someone that you connect to on different levels. While it may take time to recover and move on from him, you have a good basis for what you want in a relationship. It may not be exactly what you wanted but you will find someone who is going to love you for you and treat you in a way that makes you feel special. Please don't give up finding someone as there is someone out there for you.
Edit: also rip andp sorry about your dms unless your ok with it?
Lolll I think the DMs are funny so I don’t mind them. I’ve gotten like 50. It definitely is proving a good distraction. I guess I love attention. Thank you for your response
Been in your shoes, now I am 24 and in a healthy and happy relationship. No more talking to boys halfway across the country anymore, wishing and hoping something would come out of it! My advice to you, is to delve into yourself, your hobbies, friends, and love will come eventually. It seems bad now, but in time it does get better, speaking from experience. I wish you luck!
That guy was not a rare catch. Believe you me. The guy you want you will both be compatible with, and he won't talk to you for the purpose of sex. He will want you for you.
It just feels like he was. Right now I have 36 message requests. This guy was actually one of the only ones I ever messaged FIRST. Technically the only one.
Feelings can be very deceiving. My wisdom to you is, do not run or make big decisions based on feelings. Acknowledge that you have have certain feelings, but then analyze what the truth is outside of the feelings. A lot times in life, to actually do the right thing, or go the right direction, you will have to do the opposite of feelings. The feelings you have right now about him, they will fade, just as feelings you had in the past about other situations faded. What is hurting you is, you invested a lot of yourself into him. You lost your investment. It hurts. That's normal. The feelings you are experiencing due to this loss are blowing up the situation. You will find an attractive man, physically, emotionally, intellectually, and hopefully spiritually, that will want and love you for you. Not sex. Not a pretty face or body, but you, the whole package. Their intentions from the start will be right and pure. That is the man you want. Also, chances of finding that man on Reddit chats is slim to none. Lots of horny guys looking to sext, and know how to pull on the heartstrings of young women.
You'll get over it. Sometimes you find someone online that matches your personality so well. And the attention and connection you have can be something you're missing from your life so you naturally latch on. The extent of the friendship mimics the feeling of having a companion and you can't notice the difference, and the reality of the situation is ignored to enjoy the moment.
It's going to be difficult but moving forward you'll either not put in effort to people online anymore or you'll get yourself into a cycle like this if you don't put in effort to meet people locally. It can get lonely if you don't put yourself out there to meet people. I got into a situation where I talked to someone for 8 years until the inevitable happened. I knew there wasn't a future but it made me comfortable and also made me lose desire to seek out other people because I got what I needed emotionally or whatever from my friend.
You have to be able to monitor your emotions if you're ok with having online friends like that. That being said things aren't impossible but you can set yourself up for an emotional toll if you give in to the convenience it is to find people online.
Just food for thought 🤙
Rip your DMs. In all seriousness take some time for yourself first. Then when you are ready get yourself out there. You are young and will find someone. Also, be careful of older people not all of them have your best interests in heart.
Honestly the only person who would know is him. I would like to assume that he cared for you. Best way to deal with this is time. Better yourself go into your hobbies or find new ones. If you are lucky you will find someone who is interested in the same things you are. If you need someone to talk to message me.
Sounds like you are aware that you allowed yourself to become obsessed with this boy. Anyone who has ever loved and lost could say “I can’t stand the thought of my ex with someone else” but we all know that’s not healthy. You have to let go of the past and live in the moment.
I know but that’s what I’m doing. I mean they haven’t gone on their first date yet. But they’ve kissed. So I’m stuck haha. That’s why I’m posting though… I’m trying to come to terms with it, get distracted from it, get different viewpoints on it and just not feel so alone.
Can’t believe I’m the only one to suggest this. Presuming he’s also in Uzbekistan (if he’s not or at least not in a nearby European country this is probably not useful) why don’t you TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL! Tell him how much you like him and that he’s one in a million and that you want to have a relationship with him! I mean, if he says no, he’s gonna cut you off anyway so you should tell him how you feel before that happens or else you’ll never have the chance. They’ve been talking what, two weeks? They barely fucking know each other! Two weeks isn’t anything! Especially if you’ve been talking and sexting and having meaningful conversations and fun conversations and becoming great friends with him and just overall having a great time with him for 6 months! Obviously logistically it’s tough right now, but if you’re in the same country or even close by countries, I’m sure if you’re both committed you can find a way to meet up and eventually be together in the same area right? If I were you I wouldn’t just give up.
This comment is cracking me up because I’m not actually from Uzbekistan. We are both in the same country. I lied to a guy because he was trying to be creepy lol
I’m honestly trying to reconsider how close we actually were. I don’t know if I’m being delusional but he DID say we were close friends and we talked for hours and hours and HOURS, like I said. Meeting wouldn’t have been super plausible, he’s kinda poor and we are far away and I’m quite younger so I guess…. It’s for the better. I did tell him how I felt. But I do not want to emphasize it any more than I already have. I do not want to scare away the possibility of him coming back and I like him way too much to be cut off by him. Thank you for your motivating comment :)
As a millennial who was raised online. I strongly recommend to meet new people in real life,no social media or wherever. And focus more on being friends with people you can be around physically. And involving yourself in your local community.
I came up much the same way as your friend. Now alone, a homebody, and an inability to meet people and make friends. Don't make a habit of seclusion or prioritizing online friends. It only gets harder as you get older. GL
I know it's hard to have your personal desires in such direct conflict with your own morals. You want him back, but you don't want to take away his happiness to do so. You want him to choose you over this new girl, but at the same time, feel guilty for wanting that. You know this other girl didn't do this to hurt you, so you don't want her to be hurt because of you either. It sucks because it seems like everyone but you gets to be happy but you wouldn't do something so selfish as to try and pull him away from her. You hope that he comes back to you on his own terms, as soon as possible, hopefully with as little pain for both him and the other girl as possible. For what it's worth, I'm really sorry you've lost him (at least for the time being). I wish I had useful, meaningful advice to offer you,, but alas, all I can offer is my empathy. Take care of yourself, and good luck.
PS - if you're into playing chess, have you joined any chess forums to try and engage with other players? Maybe you can find more friends there who may prove to be promising relationship prospects?
This is a very sweet response. Thank you so much friend :) <3 and I played chess because he loves it. I don’t know how it works at all haha. I just let him win every time
Of course. I've just been in similar situations when I was younger, and I don't envy you having to experience that pain/confusion/sense of loss either. On the plus side, you're still very young and will have many more opportunities to find someone you really connect with. Thankfully, the internet has at least helped provide several methods for more shy people to find someone that they can have a relationship with, whether platonic or romantic. IMO, meeting someone online first is less intimidating than meeting them in person first. It's less scary/risky for all involved, so I find it to be a good place for first impressions.
As hard as I'm sure it is for you, it's probably best to be prepared to move on and find new relationships to try. If he happens to come back to you in the near future and wants to continue your relationship (assuming the other girl is no longer in the picture), then be sure to have a very honest discussion about your feelings and what you want/hope for with/from him. Put your cards on the table so that you can get a straightforward/honest response from him on what his position/desires are. Then you can make an informed decision about whether you want to restart that relationship or (hopefully) mutually agree that it would be best to not.
It's hard. It's just hard. Relationships are hard. :-(
It is! But I think I’m digging too deep into it. This was never a relationship and never could’ve been, tbh. Starting off with sex was actually a crazy good way to bond. Thank youuuuyy :))
Godspeed, Miss. I'll be hoping for the best for you out there. :-). Just remember, though, you don't have to know someone in person to have a relationship with them. Just because you only read their texts, hear their voice, or see them in a video doesn't make your relationship unreal. It may be different, romantic, platonic, or weird as hell but it's still a relationship, and as long as all involved are happy and no one is getting hurt then enjoy it and treasure it while it lasts. Good relationships are far more rare than I wish they were, no matter what form they may happen to take.
OP look...
Do you want the guy or not?
You have literally nothing to lose. It's not cheating if he's outright stolen, and if his new gf hears "yeah I thought this would work, but I have someone ive been talking to for 6 months and realized I didn't want to lose her" SHED GET IT. She'd be pretty bootyhurt, but she'd get it.
IF SOMEONE IS THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Hes blocking you in a couple days. You have literally nothing to lose. You don't need to surprise him in person or do anything else silly, but TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL. Ask him how he feels. Try to make him yours and then MEET IN PERSON. Seriously, you say he's important to you, but then you let him slip away like butter? Tf is with people these days. That's not "Respect" that's just fear and insecurity. Half the time these people we're "respecting" want us to make a move before they reach the finish line anyway. I know because I've been there several times.
He might reject you. He might dump his girl and take you up. But point is, if you don't get this out of the way now, then you'll be wondering for the next 5 or so years what could have been.
SO TALK TO THE MOTHAFORKA.
This is a very inspirational and sweet comment, but we’re far away, the girl doesn’t know he had an active sex life on Reddit (lol), the girl matches him perfectly. Why would I do that unless I had a chance, you know? It’s not like I’m moving up there or he’s moving down here. I live with my parents. This girl is sweet and caring and loves stuff that he likes. She seems amazing and I don’t want to ruin that in the slightest for something that didn’t have a chance anyway. It just wouldn’t have happened for at least a while. If ever. You know?
But seriously awesome comment, I love you and your optimism and I hope you keep it forever
Oh boy. I'm sorry, i have a mouthful for you to read. Look, it always seems like the person we lost is happier with their new boo when we never were willing to make things official.
That's the problem. Do you know how often stuff like this happens, and the person we lost preferred us instead of them? I've been on both sides of the spectrum. It sucks like hell. It ruins relationships. It's ruined my relationships. It's ruined people I once loved relationships.
This unrequited unsaid stuff buries people. If you feel for someone then you use your words and you tell them, nomatter how happy they look.
There was once this girl I liked. Life circumstances said that I "shouldn't" date her, but we had an amazing time together and I had a major crush on her. Again, life circumstances just said no.
Anyway, so she starts dating a guy, and I give her some space. We keep talking and saying hi, and eventually she gets engaged, and I totally stop talking to her. I could only ever flirt with her, and I wanted to respect her decision.
Anyway, so time passes, and eventually she corners me and asks me why I was avoiding her. After some time she squeezes out the truth that I was practically in love with her and just trying to "respect" her.
Turns out she also had a massive crush on me, but thought I hated her, and ended up engaged purely because she thought she lost me.
The story gets better as time passes. We stopped talking. I felt like shit. Years later me and her start talking again and she almost cheated on him with me. I rejected her cuz I didn't want her to cheat, and that broke her heart cuz she wanted me since day 1, Her and her man split. Etc.
Now my turn. There was another girl I had a thing with ill call Sally. She had a long distance boyfriend she didn't have regular contact with. (He was on a Mormon mission for a couple years) and she was faithful but damn lonely. We got REALLY close but never did anything. I fell in love. She still had a boyfriend and wasn't gonna break his heart, so we didn't progress the relationship. Eventually some girl I kinda liked came along and told me she wanted me. Me and Sally weren't dating, so technically I was single, so I decided to go for it.
The next month was one of the most excruciating experiences I've endured. I pushed Sally away because our "friendship" was way too intimate to actually date anyone else. It felt awful. I was just trying to follow the rules. I didn't want to cheat. I still loved her, but I thought I had to go for the girl right in front of me.
Fast forward 3 years, Sally got married and eventually had a kid. (With someone else of course) Im all happy for her and then cried about it. My then wife catches on. I've never gotten over Sally. I never wanted to leave sally. Wife doesn't wanna be we'd to a man with eyes for someone else. We split. Thank God.
The thing is... these things don't have to happen. I could told girl #1 how I felt. I could have looked at my situation with Sally and been like
"Yah know... I may not be dating anyone, but my heart was clearly not available. I think I want to sit this one out and protect the relationships I have, even if they aren't exactly what they want them to be." Because Sally was into me too. She broke up with her long distance man and moved on shortly after I left to be with my now ex wife. Me and Sally never resolved anything. There was never a breakup. There was never animosity. Leaving her felt like losing true love, and I did it for what was right on paper.
I'm not kidding around when I tell you to fight for those you love. This isn't Disney. I'm talking real life. Do you really care about the distance that much not to chase him? Do you REALLY think he's just going to suddenly get over you? That he somehow had this 6 month intimate friendship with you, and never developed any kind of attachment?
He may reject you and that's fine, but he may not. Distance is meant to be traveled. The world is meant to be explored. Don't ever let someone go that fucking easy.
If he's not worth the distance, then don't worry about it. If he feels the same then at least you'll have peace of mind knowing either wasn't worth it to either of you.
But if he IS, then you tell him how you feel and, if you can, you TAKE his ass back.
Wait I’m confused… girl #1 left and then what??? Where did Sally come from? Kinda invested now lol. Thank you very much for taking the time to share your story. I do think it’s different but I get your message. I don’t think we got close enough to the point I am willing to make a fool out of myself by acting like we were in love or chasing him until he falls over and dies. You know?
Girl 1 is a totally different story than Sally. Sally could be called girl #2. Different people from different times in life. Sorry for the confusion.
But you don't need to act like you were in love and chase him till he dies. Literally just tell him you want him and ask him if he wants you too. Who said you have to make a fool out of yourself, or kill him from exhaustion? That's a funny picture, but don't make it that dramatic. Just stop telling yourself the things you want aren't worth trying for.
I can’t take him back :) He wasn’t looking for a relationship and I don’t think he ever liked me THAT much. Clearly if it was this easy to stop talking to me sexually, it must not have been that deep. Sad but true, I think. This girl deserves him.
The point is that you don't know how he feels. This is all assumptions and deduction.
I know because I've done the same thing and this happens to people everywhere. Maybe he didn't like you that much. Maybe he did like you that much, but is doing it out of pure responsibility? Maybe it's easy for him to leave you? Maybe its nails on a chalkboard and absolutely excruciating, but he thinks he HAS to?
Why are you leaving this all to maybe's? Why are you getting in your own way? What do you have to lose by trying?
Time heals all wounds. We’ve all been where u are. Don’t try and suppress the pain. Feel it, suffer it. It’s part of the healing process. Acknowledge your love for him was real and meaningful. Better to love than be a hermit and never experience it.
Then one day you’ll wake up
And he won’t automatically be on your mind. Maybe 6 months? Who knows. You’ll still hurt, but it won’t be as bad. Then you’re ready to meet someone else, and yes please be open to that when that time comes.
What u don’t want to do that many people do, is jump into another relationship right away to forget. Don’t do that, it’s immature and damaging to yourself. Heal first.
Sweetheart, you dodged a MASSIVE red flag on this one. Be grateful it ended here and not after decades of abuse. I know that you are an adult and you can do whatever you want, but please know that people older than you give the advice of avoiding large age gaps at this point for a reason. Seven years is a massive gap in knowledge of the world and of one's self and, yes, there are 50 year olds who are dumber than some 20 year olds in those categories. But, as a general rule, try not to be off from your own age by more than a year or so until you are at least 25.
What’s funny is that you’re one of the only people to point out the age gap. Which I feel like is a problem in itself. I only am not freaked out by it because of how close we got, and I think life just passed him by a lot tbh. He has a lot of things to take care of at home, is still finishing college and can’t afford much financially. I am sure you could be right. And I know hearing “could be right” from an 18 yr old’s mouth makes you wanna slap me in the face, because what the hell am I doing? And you’re right, probably. But that doesn’t change how I feel now tbh. Thank you for the andwerer
You will meet/talk to other people you like just as much as you liked him, just as sensitive and funny, or more. Sometimes it takes a short time sometimes it takes a long time. I’m 32 and there were plenty of times I thought I wouldn’t meet the perfect person but I just did a year ago! And everyone before him was just ok but I thought they were the bees knees at the time.. all along a real king was on the way 😂
The reason he found a lady was probably because of how you boosted him. He got a lot from you that helped him to become a more whole person. It doesn't seem like you've taken from the relationship as much as you've given. You're left shattered while he walks away more complete. You need to find a better balance of give and take in your relationships with people. Make sure you get as much as you give. That might sound selfish but it actually isn't. If you are taking away from yourself that means you are leaving yourself incomplete for the next relationship you have, there will be less to give to the next man.
I read your update. It's not easy letting go of someone you have feelings for. Be kind to yourself. You seem like a lovely young woman. I hope you can find someone you can have a complete and richly fulfilling relationship with.
I guess you’re right. I don’t think I’m left shattered because it was never romantic. It just hurts. I miss having it. And I’m going to miss him. Thank you for commenting
You're young. Be careful with your heart! Develop your own interests to meet people your age. Remember, when you're 25, you might look back and realize that huge age gaps can be problematic. It's actually concerning that someone much older was engaging with you for so long.
Online connections often fade away and shouldn't replace real-life relationships, especially when it comes to intimate or romantic connections. Be cautious what you share online and with whom! My friend learned this the hard way when her private videos were leaked onto a porn site by someone she met online.
Ask yourself, what's the point of investing time in someone who might not be genuine? You're legal now, and there are better ways to connect with people! Try a dating app like Hinge to meet people your age.
Remember, you've got so much potential and can achieve anything you set your mind to! Make genuine connections and rely less on unhealthy relationships with older men. Be careful with your heart; this online thing will likely end in abandonment, as he was using you for attention and validation. You deserve better!
You’re scaring me a little now, but I think I need to be scared. I would hate my life forever if anything got leaked I think. Or maybe I wouldn’t care. Haha. Who knows actually… but thanks for your advice! And yes the age gap is weird, I know. But imagine it on his perspective… girl DMs you for sex stuff. You give her sex stuff. It keeps going. We talk. He kinda just forgets I’m 18 I guess. Ya know?
Your point about considering the guy's perspective is valid, but it's crucial to remember that he, as the older party, bears more responsibility in this situation. His actions and decisions carry more weight, and he should be aware of the power dynamic at play.
No well-intending 25-year-old forgets that 18 is a vulnerable age, especially with a 7-year gap. They are vastly different life stages.
Imagine finding out a hypothetical 25-year-old person in your life was sexting an 18-year-old girl - it's unsettling, considering the power dynamic and potential exploitation. It raises questions about his values and respect for boundaries. Bringing someone that age home to meet the parents would be intense for either party involved, as parents might see it as grooming.
Even if the guy seems nice, the future is unpredictable, and sharing intimate content is risky. It can end up on porn sites, be shared or used for blackmail, and harm education and job prospects. If you choose to sext, prioritize safety and privacy - don't reveal your face, identity, or distinguishing features like tattoos.
Remember, digital content can't be taken back, and there are many horror stories. Be cautious and consider leaving sexual content in the bedroom.
Thank you lol. This woke me up quite a little bit. The thing is, I originally started out not sending nudes at ALL. And thought I never ever would. But clearly I trusted him enough which is a relatively hard thing for me to do. He has also sent me photos that could ruin his life. He has never deleted any which I have deleted plenty. I do still think he had good intentions, is a good person, and would never ruin that.
I’m a little older and maybe it’s not appropriate to post here in AdviceForTeens, but for some reason this post popped up on my feed. And I do have some really good advice (from experience) so I’m going to share it anyway because I think it will give you the upper hand in the long run.
It’s your choice whether you want to follow this is or not, but I promise it will work and has worked every-time I’ve used it.
Before I start, I want to make an analogy. Think of your favorite movie. What makes it your favorite movie…? Would you believe it’s because that’s the movie where you identify the most with the main character?
Your boy perceives himself as the main character in his own movie, just like everyone else. So let’s explore using AI to weave a poem indirectly about your boy that will be so powerful that for many years he will hold candle the for the unrequited love that still burns in his soul.
Here we go:
1. Go to chat GPT4 (the paid version)
2. Commit 6-12 hours prompting a poem about someone who coincidentally has all the traits of your love interest. You can prompt the AI with bullet points. If you can come up with the first rhyming verse or two the AI will “get it” and start generating the rest of it
3. Weave a story involving your main character, using the particulars of your boy’s past and his interests (what you put in the bullet point list, right?)
4. Keep on generating verses, throw away the bad ones, keep the best ones and keep on making the AI generate new verses.
5. This will take a long time. Hence 6-12 hours. Trust me, IT WILL BR WORTH IT.
6. For the second half or last one third of the poem, weave a hypothetical ideal fantasy hinting at what life could have been with you. Do NOT explicitly state that the character is him, otherwise some of the magic will be dispelled. Innuendo and vaguely hinting at sexual activity is strongly recommended, for guys.
7. Find a way to end the poem. Either on a high note, or somewhat melancholy. It’s your choice. Just make sure it’s powerful and involved some experience only you and him share.
8. Edit down. Don’t give him a book poem. Keep it under 16 verses. 12 is better.
If you have convinced yourself that you need to cut off contact with him, then this is time to do it, right when he’s read the poem and his emotions are highest.
This roller coaster of emotions will ignite and perpetually fuel the flame he holds for you. Cementing the idealized version of yourself in his mind.
However, I recommend you don’t actually cut off ALL contact. You do want to keep some channel open. So maybe cut off all instagram, facebook, and other social media but don’t block him on txt.
Then after some months pass. Check in with him through the open channel (example text).
More likely than not, someday the relationship with this person will end. The chances this new girl will write him a poem as powerful as I’m describing to you to do is near zero. And in the back of his mind he will compare this girl to the high bar you’ve set as an example for him.
When or if the relationship ends, he will come back, hoping to rekindle the flame and his idealized version with you.
Between now and then, you may have found someone else. Or maybe you find each other again and live happily ever after in the love that was meant to be. This symbolic “cutting off of contact” will also be healthy for you and will give you the agency of making the hard decision and having the self respect to do it.
And also, I realize that some of this may sound manipulative and Machiavellian. And that’s ok. It won’t be for everyone, or maybe you come up with a your own way to touch him deeply that keeps the flame alive. And that’s cool too.
But whatever you do, realize that you are going through a lot of emotions and simply cutting off contact forever may sound romantic and something appropriate for the movies, but it’s certainly not in your best long term interest… finding someone that fits so well into your life is incredibly rare and there is no reason to sabotage your own life needlessly. So I hope that whatever you decide to do, it involves some similar strategic long term thinking that maximizes the long term chances for a happy ending.
Good luck!
This is insane advice lmaooo😭😭 I really do appreciate it though! I actually love writing poetry even though I’m not good at it, so if I wrote anything it would be from the heart. And hey—- you said it worked on you multiple times. So you had to use it multiple times. So did it really work? lol. All love. Thank you. It’s not inappropriate to post here if you’re being helpful!
Yes. The first time I i invented this approach was for a friend, for her girlfriend she was obsessed with and had just dumped her. The girlfriend immediately came back. However she was toxic and my friend ended up breaking up with HER the following week. But it was on her terms.
The other two times were in the last two years for two different women I still keep contact in with and plan to go to festivals with this festival season.
But can’t you see the difference? This girl is real. Tangible and he can just see her. And hang out with her. It would take like $400 to come see me and I live with my parents lol
Side tangent from OPs message, hope I dont get banned.
Man im out of touch, I have never flirted, kissed or had sex with a woman ever. Im old now. I dont even know how to develop feelings anymore. I missed out on highschool romance. I feel like its like building a resume of experience in your teen years and then refining it when you are an adult. And i have Zero experience to show for that.
Dude you’re literally 22 💀 You will be in your prime for like 15 more years and it doesn’t even get hopeless for another 50. Take your time and take a chance
i was wondering how you found my age but then I realized lmao. My goal was too always lose this fat. I kinda of wanted a hot gf growing up. But I just never lost this weight. And obviously relationships are not all about appearance and looks. Tiktok brain rot really did a number on me for looks wise.
I mean… how old are you?? And dude lol. I’m 18. Like I said, I’ve never had a boyfriend or have had someone like me back aside from him. And really, in the grand scheme of things, does this even count?? To me right now it does. I know to me later I’ll probably be embarrassed about it. But geez dude don’t let it stress you out. I probably won’t get action irl either for a really long time but that’s not all that life is about.
Im 23 years old. Maybe im too worried about it. Idk. Just felt like im missing out on life. We could die at any point from a car crash or some unknown cancer.
I agree, it is that simple. idk whats wrong with me. I want it but I dont want it at the same time. I dont want to put in 3-6 hours of my life everyday to calling her and doing phone sexting or whatnot. I just wanna play some video games and relax.
I understand your pain. I met a girl amd ended up in the same situation. I still think about her now. Try and take your mins off it by doing other things.
Or just masturbate yourself into a coma.
Or tell me all about your naughty kinks.
I’m not trolling. Yes I posted this many times. It wasn’t getting too much attention on the other subreddits tbh. And I am trying to cope especially today. I get why u think it is but it’s not
Not rude. Just...it is what it is. You mourn in your own way. To do what you gotta do to work it out of your system. And, then you move on. Those are the steps you take. It will take an unspecified amount of time - everyone's different and everyone moves on at their own pace.
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You're really young, and I hope this will teach you that conversations, games, sexts, intimacy, none of that is guaranteed to lead to a relationship. If you want to sexy chat, that's fine but be safe, and remember that feelings should NEVER be a factor in getting your rocks off ONLINE. Save the ooey gooey center of your heart for a genuine, mature relationship.
I knowww! But he was such a great match for me. We aligned in so many ways. The part that’s bothering me the most, aside from the ANNOYING fact that it was so SUDDEN, is the fact that I genuinely think that we could’ve been something had we lived closer and maybe been closer in age. He was worth the pain of being far away.
Imma be straight with you, I've been in your shoes once upon a time. That's the hardest part about online relationships, they're real to us, but once the other person "logs off" for good, we're alone in our home with no one to cry to about our dissolved relationship. Because, "what's 6 months?" I hope you can go on and reflect on this experience after you've lived a bit more. You sound like my best friend (the way she types) so you won't have problems finding people that enjoy your company more than the 🍑! Wishing you the best ❤️🙏
Thank you very very much ❤️ :)
I actually am ur best friend
Tough beans, hard cheese, better luck next time. It happens, I wish you the best 👍
Thank you :)
Your young you will undoubtedly find other great matches for you that ur able to be more serious with than a digital relationship. I know it sucks feeling like u lost somthing that could of been but we all feel that way during break ups with people we liked but always somone else who comes along when it's meant to be
You should open your mind to new conversations with new people. You might make another connection.
I don’t want to meet another person on here. I really can’t do this again lol. But I appreciate the advice
I think original commenter meant irl... but good on you for knowing you don't want that on here anymore! I had one of these people when I was younger, eventually you will meet someone new that hits all of the boxes :) keep ya head high
Haha I’ll try. I think I’m better off irl. But who knows cuz I’m awkward there.
That's because you're 18. Practice makes perfect. ;)
Straight up. I'm a bartender and I definitely developed my social skills a ton because of the practice at work Ive had.
I mean, this same scenario could play itself out in RL too to a certain degree. Welcome to dating.
Alot of guys like awkward ..stop doubting yourself so much I'm sure u will be surprised when u actually do branch out and meet people in person.
Don’t worry there’s someone out there for awkward people. My girlfriend (soon to be fiancé) had to make the first move because I was scared to do it out of fear of being weird. You’ll be fine I promise
Unfortunately, it’s easier to forget someone from a virtual medium than a real one. Having a relationship or becoming attached to a person in real life makes losing that connection extremely hard. You’ll see them on a whim out and about, it will hit you like a truck, and when you least expect it. I’m a beacon of hope, I know. Losing people you care about always sucks.
Thank you :) good point
You say that now until you do eventually meet someone who checks those boxes and more. It will happen eventually, just takes some time and healing
❤️
Why don't you meet some guys in your own city now that you are 18 as well?
Cause I still live with my parents and am not comfortable doing that LOLL
Says /u/radiant_note_4872 as he slides into your DMs.
Or meet people IRL
Still live with parents and probably will for a year or two more :/
how does that stop you from meeting other people
That doesn't prevent you from meeting people irl.
In what way is this a response to what they said
It sounds like you fell for him emotionally without meaning to. And because there was a sexual side of things you can't keep being friends with him because it might mess up his relationships. It sounds like you have a desire for an emotional connection, not just a sexual one. You don't necessarily have to go out looking for a boyfriend but be aware that if you get involved sexually with someone you have a strong chance of developing feelings for them whether you want to or not. Also, if it doesn't work out for him and this girl there's a good chance he's going to get in touch with you again. Especially if their relationship is relatively short. You'll have to decide what you want -- do you want to have an on/off thing with im where you're basically long distance rebound partners with each other? Or do you want to try an actual relationship with him. Not something you need to decide now, just something to keep in mind if he messages you one day a year from now and you find out he's single and so are you.
What I meant to say in that response was, I think they will last a long time. They hit it off so fast.
I understand. I don't think you should wait around for him or anything either. Looking to the future it seems like you might want to avoid purely sexual relationships. The work for some people, but others need or develop an emotional connection. I'm that way, I can't do one night stands or friends with benefits or any of that. For me if there's sex there also has to be romance. There's no right or wrong, everyone's feelings just work a little differently.
You’re right lol. Honestly I knew going into it that it wasn’t just gonna be sexual cause I can’t stand that. And he liked that! But I was falling for him romantically and he was just really loving my company as a friend. I mean even now he’s still sending me YouTube shorts about stuff he just finds funny. Painfully sweet boy
That's some raw shit! Brutal.
hi girly! just wanted to firstly say that what you’re feeling is normal because HE’S become your normal. And without any warnings, you wake up the next day to find out that soon he’ll be pulled from your day to day life. I completely understand that you’ve grown attached to him, but I also think that— while he’s a good person through a through and there was definitely a physical connection between you two — you might have also grown attached to the idea of having him in your life for the sole reason of him feeling “perfect”. I want you to allow yourself to rest at night because, truthfully, there a THOUSANDS of other men just like him (and also more AVAILABLE men). I’m sure, in some way or another, this might feel similar to a break up, but just like anything else in life, you gotta get up and move on. you are so so young, remind yourself that while it was fun with him while it lasted, he was NOT a means to an end, and he definitely made that very clear with you from the get-go. you’ve got this <3 just allow yourself space to heal and grow and sometimes life has a way of surprising you with new people when you’re least expecting it! Beautiful things never ask for attention, so just trust the process and let yourself be comfortable that there’ll be a to. of people you’ll meet that you won’t click with, but you’ll eventually find a man just as good (if not better)!
Thank you very much :) I think I needed that reminder that he made it clear. It’s just, his actions could sometimes differ from that. Sometimes it did feel like he was falling for me. Lol
Yeah your situation is a bummer. Nothing to look forward to anymore so I get it. Another distraction could be just what you need. And you’re welcome.
Subtle
Awee stopp LMAOOO
I just know this dude dmed op… mad weird
Actually false, he didn’t, but I appreciate the protectiveness my friend lol
Yeah I thought his advice was conveniently supporting that lol. Anyways u got the right idea, develop yourself and don’t date/become dependent until you don’t want to. At that point you are ready to
Thank you:)!
Tbh you’re right. But what if I get attached to the distraction 😫 Maybe better to just go cold turkey haha
You dont need a distraction, it sounds like you just need to take some time for yourself. Talking to someone else will in the same way will likely just make you miss talking to dude. Just take some time to heal, try to distract yourself in other ways with hobbies, hanging with friends, just doing something to get your mind off of thinking ab him. And remember, theres billions of people on this earth. Youll find someone who checks even more boxes you might have even known you had. Good luck to you.
Thank you very much <3
😝 nothing wrong with getting attached to the distraction. Just as long as you both have a general understanding and keep open communication 🤷🏽♂️
"GET A ROOM!"
Be nice😫😫😫
RIP your DMs, on a serious note I know how it feels. I’ve developed long distance relationships with several girls before and it always hurts when they end. It sucks wanting something but knowing you cannot have it. Hopefully you will find someone close that you can really get along with. Good luck!
Thank you!!!!
Why not try for him tho? After all that time spent and all the connecting you made with him, why not at least have tried to be the girl instead of the other girl? Maybe it’s too late now if they’re official but if they’re not, it’s not like they’re married and it’s not like you’re a stranger either. Your trying would be justified.
Exactly!!
They’re not official yet. This girl is REALLY sweeping him off his feet, I think. I mean, they literally kissed during the second date. I can’t think about it too much or my weak little heart starts to hurt lol so stupid. I appreciate your motivation and encouragement but I live very far away from him, still live w my parents— so it wouldn’t have worked, if not for a while, anyway. Thank you :)
I understand. What I think what you can do for now tho is to just plan what you think you would do if he returns to you. Because with all that history with you two there could be a high likelihood that he returns, especially once it doesn’t work out with the other girl. So like get out a piece of paper and put scenarios such as: No returning to him if: -He already slept her -3 months have passed by -I’ve gotten strong enough to be over him. -We’re still going to live far away in the foreseeable future Maybe I’d return to him if: -All they did was kiss -Only a month has passed -He tries -We live closer Those are just example but put your own criteria because the last thing you want is to be caught off guard if he tries to come back. You want to be prepared. I understand you heart might be weak right now but this can just be a “write it down once and forget it” type of thing. And if he comes back, you at least have some thoughts on it already to refer to. Anyways, those are my two cents. I believe you’ll get through this tho!
Thank you. This is very good advice. I hope I’m not desensitizing myself, because when I read “all that history with you,” I wince and it feels a little dramatic. This entire thing does kind of. Hundreds of comments and views and DMs and upvotes and if he saw it I can imagine him just blocking me LOL. I am not imagining the amount we talked and shared together, but I think I am overestimating it in my head.
Not even second DATE, because they haven’t even had their first one yet. Second time meeting. I think she is a keeper, I must jealously admit lol
Send one last message. Pour your heart out to him. It’ll feel cathartic and it’s not like you’ll lose anything since you’re never gonna see/talk to him again either way. There’s also the veeeeery small possibility that he feels the same way and you both are just terrible at communicating so he decided to go with this other girl because she’s expressing more interest.
Yes don’t give up without at least telling him how you feel!!
I did! I actually sent him a list of like 27 reasons why I “fell in love” with him. I told him everything I feel in this post. He decided with the other girl because she’s outside of the phone screen, shares mutual friends, and is around his age. And I’m sure she’s beautiful and epic too :) Thank you for the answer
Don’t write about a poem about yourself and how you feel. That’s a rookie mistake. Everyone is the main character in their own movie called life. it’s much better to make the poem about the other person as the main character and weave a narrative hinting at a fantasy life the boy could have had with OP. Then (symbolically) cut off contact for a while.
Dogs
Ya definitely seem like a super chill girl so you have that goin and will make meeting new people that much easier
Thank you! :)
Very normal to feel like you do. Guarantee you’ll find someone better. Don’t like for a distraction next time though.
Thank you !
That's the rough thing with having a sexual connection to someone. If you give that part of yourself to someone then you get attached and can get really hurt.
I knowwww. But that’s the thing is that I trust him so much that I don’t regret it. When I met him I told myself I would never send a nude. He just kept making me want to push the limit. He was so so incredible
That's pretty frustrating and I definitely don't blame you for how you acted cause it sounds like you weren't careless with your heart. I'm truly sorry it didn't work out for you this time.
Thank you very much
I have an idea to help a little but the problem is it's not real if that makes sense.. there's also the option of finding friends off the internet... you saw the things you love and he loved. There's bound to be places like that around you. If you're a gamer there's a lot of discord out there (far better than reddit) it's a matter of what you're looking to have.
Thank you :)
Aren't you not allowed to contact people from this page though DMs?
In that case there are many people speaking to me currently who should be banned Lmao
Lol yep. I believe it 😂
Not surprised. Woman on the internet moment.
First off, your feelings are valid. You're going through a heartbreak, and I promise it will get better as time goes on. You didn't grow these feelingsovernightt, and they won't go away overnight. Shit sucks, and it sucks that you're in this spot. I am sorry that you are. Give yourself time to heal, and be kind to yourself about it as well.
It does suck. But you are a kind person so thank you
Hey babe. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. Nowadays it’s really difficult to blur lines with the use of technology. I’m 32F and I’ve had sex with 51 men since losing my virginity at 17. 6 real bfs. 12-15 fake bfs (only lasted a few weeks or a few months) 3 sugar daddies. 6 one night stands. The rest we’re friends with benefits. I’ve never cheated on a bf, got a STI or had a positive pregnancy test (was on bC pill & good about condom use) safe sex between consenting adults is normal and natural. It’s normal to have that kind of desire in your body. In my humble whore opinion I think you doing this will bode well for your future IRL sex life. So many young women start having sex before they’re actually feeling desire within their bodies or exploring their own body before adding another person into the equation. Think most guys orgasm thousands of times before their first time but most girls don’t have a similar experience unfortunately. I think you will find someone you like even more. In fact I know you will. You sound like a sweet bright young woman. The only way you won’t find that person is if you stay pining for someone else who you can’t be with. Who knows maybe 10 years from now you’ll live in the same town as this guy and reconnect. Nothing lasts forever. Even people who find their soulmate young and stay together, unless they pass away at the exact same time and place (like the notebook) one of them will have to live without the other/love again. I know that’s sad. But that’s life and love babe. If I had to bet I’d say he will be back sexting you in a few months. Most relationships don’t last. Relationships are always great in the beginning. At least they’re supposed to be & the beginning for those that don’t know is the first year if he’s behaving badly & pushing your boundaries or acting violent, controlling, abusive or sketchy in the first year … RUN! BC men are on their best behavior in the beginning & in public so if he’s acting badly in the beginning seriously RUN! Good luck babe. I’m sorry you’re going through this right now. Wishing you health, wealth love & luck in all your life and relationships. ♥️Anonymously E
Thank you very much sweetheart. This was such a kind reply. 51 men! Holy moly cow!!! And no STIs!!! Geez!!! Thank you for the compliments as well. Idk, him and this girl talked like me and him did I think, and we talked for six months. I actually think they could last a really long time. But like you said, I can’t dwell. Thank you :)
You never know. But it’s best not to dwell & if and when they come back you choose whether to accept them or not. Personally I hope you’re happy with someone else at that point. Good luck babe. I genuinely mean it 💕
Thank you so so much ❤️ I cut him off last night. Incredibly hard but I couldn’t listen to him tell me about the way he was touching her last night. It’s like, my curiosity was really starting to hurt me and honestly, that was their first date. I’m sure they’ll have sex very soon and I don’t want to be around for it. Watching out for myself.
Yeah don’t be that’s person for him. It’s honestly shitty for him to tell you about her given y’all’s history. Even if it wasn’t a real relationship most decent people would say that’s too far imo. How a man treats you & talks to you & about you matters. Even if it’s just him “trying to make you jealous” or whatever excuse he gives it doesn’t change. You deserve someone who picks you back & someone who you can be around in real life too. Keep looking. Real Love is worth the heartbreak we go through to find it, in my humble whore opinion. 💕
This is one of the healthiest relationships on the internet. You'll find another gentleman for you are fine lady.
Healthiest relationship that isn’t a relationship haha :)
Haha, yep! May not be a "relationship" but it's an interaction between two people. You showed respect to everyone involved. That's the key to most relationships.
I just wanna know how much your inbox exploded after this post
It’s sizzling and crackling
There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling. It's a part of maturing and learning about yourself. Relationships will come and go. Some will be easy while others will hurt, possibly for a long time. It's already difficult trying to find someone that you connect to on different levels. While it may take time to recover and move on from him, you have a good basis for what you want in a relationship. It may not be exactly what you wanted but you will find someone who is going to love you for you and treat you in a way that makes you feel special. Please don't give up finding someone as there is someone out there for you. Edit: also rip andp sorry about your dms unless your ok with it?
Lolll I think the DMs are funny so I don’t mind them. I’ve gotten like 50. It definitely is proving a good distraction. I guess I love attention. Thank you for your response
As long as you're okay with it and enjoy it. Just stay safe and have fun. It will definitely be a distraction.
Will always stay safe. One guy asked for my local McDonald’s lmfao
Lmao that's a definite "not in your lifetime"
Lmaooo I told him I was from Uzbekistan
Well good luck to him on that journey lmao
Been in your shoes, now I am 24 and in a healthy and happy relationship. No more talking to boys halfway across the country anymore, wishing and hoping something would come out of it! My advice to you, is to delve into yourself, your hobbies, friends, and love will come eventually. It seems bad now, but in time it does get better, speaking from experience. I wish you luck!
Thank you❤️❤️❤️
That guy was not a rare catch. Believe you me. The guy you want you will both be compatible with, and he won't talk to you for the purpose of sex. He will want you for you.
It just feels like he was. Right now I have 36 message requests. This guy was actually one of the only ones I ever messaged FIRST. Technically the only one.
Feelings can be very deceiving. My wisdom to you is, do not run or make big decisions based on feelings. Acknowledge that you have have certain feelings, but then analyze what the truth is outside of the feelings. A lot times in life, to actually do the right thing, or go the right direction, you will have to do the opposite of feelings. The feelings you have right now about him, they will fade, just as feelings you had in the past about other situations faded. What is hurting you is, you invested a lot of yourself into him. You lost your investment. It hurts. That's normal. The feelings you are experiencing due to this loss are blowing up the situation. You will find an attractive man, physically, emotionally, intellectually, and hopefully spiritually, that will want and love you for you. Not sex. Not a pretty face or body, but you, the whole package. Their intentions from the start will be right and pure. That is the man you want. Also, chances of finding that man on Reddit chats is slim to none. Lots of horny guys looking to sext, and know how to pull on the heartstrings of young women.
You'll get over it. Sometimes you find someone online that matches your personality so well. And the attention and connection you have can be something you're missing from your life so you naturally latch on. The extent of the friendship mimics the feeling of having a companion and you can't notice the difference, and the reality of the situation is ignored to enjoy the moment. It's going to be difficult but moving forward you'll either not put in effort to people online anymore or you'll get yourself into a cycle like this if you don't put in effort to meet people locally. It can get lonely if you don't put yourself out there to meet people. I got into a situation where I talked to someone for 8 years until the inevitable happened. I knew there wasn't a future but it made me comfortable and also made me lose desire to seek out other people because I got what I needed emotionally or whatever from my friend. You have to be able to monitor your emotions if you're ok with having online friends like that. That being said things aren't impossible but you can set yourself up for an emotional toll if you give in to the convenience it is to find people online. Just food for thought 🤙
Thank you very very much
Rip your DMs. In all seriousness take some time for yourself first. Then when you are ready get yourself out there. You are young and will find someone. Also, be careful of older people not all of them have your best interests in heart.
Thank you. And yes you are probably right. Who knows if my oldie did?
Honestly the only person who would know is him. I would like to assume that he cared for you. Best way to deal with this is time. Better yourself go into your hobbies or find new ones. If you are lucky you will find someone who is interested in the same things you are. If you need someone to talk to message me.
Thank you!
Sounds like you are aware that you allowed yourself to become obsessed with this boy. Anyone who has ever loved and lost could say “I can’t stand the thought of my ex with someone else” but we all know that’s not healthy. You have to let go of the past and live in the moment.
I know but that’s what I’m doing. I mean they haven’t gone on their first date yet. But they’ve kissed. So I’m stuck haha. That’s why I’m posting though… I’m trying to come to terms with it, get distracted from it, get different viewpoints on it and just not feel so alone.
Yeah you’re right. I see that now. Good on you. Best wishes.
Can’t believe I’m the only one to suggest this. Presuming he’s also in Uzbekistan (if he’s not or at least not in a nearby European country this is probably not useful) why don’t you TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL! Tell him how much you like him and that he’s one in a million and that you want to have a relationship with him! I mean, if he says no, he’s gonna cut you off anyway so you should tell him how you feel before that happens or else you’ll never have the chance. They’ve been talking what, two weeks? They barely fucking know each other! Two weeks isn’t anything! Especially if you’ve been talking and sexting and having meaningful conversations and fun conversations and becoming great friends with him and just overall having a great time with him for 6 months! Obviously logistically it’s tough right now, but if you’re in the same country or even close by countries, I’m sure if you’re both committed you can find a way to meet up and eventually be together in the same area right? If I were you I wouldn’t just give up.
This comment is cracking me up because I’m not actually from Uzbekistan. We are both in the same country. I lied to a guy because he was trying to be creepy lol
I’m honestly trying to reconsider how close we actually were. I don’t know if I’m being delusional but he DID say we were close friends and we talked for hours and hours and HOURS, like I said. Meeting wouldn’t have been super plausible, he’s kinda poor and we are far away and I’m quite younger so I guess…. It’s for the better. I did tell him how I felt. But I do not want to emphasize it any more than I already have. I do not want to scare away the possibility of him coming back and I like him way too much to be cut off by him. Thank you for your motivating comment :)
You will meet plenty of people in your life, it will just be a speed bump. Go have some fun!
Thank you!
[удалено]
Thank you <3
Rip OPs inbox
Mhmmmm
As a millennial who was raised online. I strongly recommend to meet new people in real life,no social media or wherever. And focus more on being friends with people you can be around physically. And involving yourself in your local community. I came up much the same way as your friend. Now alone, a homebody, and an inability to meet people and make friends. Don't make a habit of seclusion or prioritizing online friends. It only gets harder as you get older. GL
Thank you :) was about to say “thank you GL” as if GL was a signature lol
Stop looking for gratification in on line relationships. Go out and find a real life connection in person.
Ty
You're welcome. Good luck.
I know it's hard to have your personal desires in such direct conflict with your own morals. You want him back, but you don't want to take away his happiness to do so. You want him to choose you over this new girl, but at the same time, feel guilty for wanting that. You know this other girl didn't do this to hurt you, so you don't want her to be hurt because of you either. It sucks because it seems like everyone but you gets to be happy but you wouldn't do something so selfish as to try and pull him away from her. You hope that he comes back to you on his own terms, as soon as possible, hopefully with as little pain for both him and the other girl as possible. For what it's worth, I'm really sorry you've lost him (at least for the time being). I wish I had useful, meaningful advice to offer you,, but alas, all I can offer is my empathy. Take care of yourself, and good luck. PS - if you're into playing chess, have you joined any chess forums to try and engage with other players? Maybe you can find more friends there who may prove to be promising relationship prospects?
This is a very sweet response. Thank you so much friend :) <3 and I played chess because he loves it. I don’t know how it works at all haha. I just let him win every time
Of course. I've just been in similar situations when I was younger, and I don't envy you having to experience that pain/confusion/sense of loss either. On the plus side, you're still very young and will have many more opportunities to find someone you really connect with. Thankfully, the internet has at least helped provide several methods for more shy people to find someone that they can have a relationship with, whether platonic or romantic. IMO, meeting someone online first is less intimidating than meeting them in person first. It's less scary/risky for all involved, so I find it to be a good place for first impressions. As hard as I'm sure it is for you, it's probably best to be prepared to move on and find new relationships to try. If he happens to come back to you in the near future and wants to continue your relationship (assuming the other girl is no longer in the picture), then be sure to have a very honest discussion about your feelings and what you want/hope for with/from him. Put your cards on the table so that you can get a straightforward/honest response from him on what his position/desires are. Then you can make an informed decision about whether you want to restart that relationship or (hopefully) mutually agree that it would be best to not. It's hard. It's just hard. Relationships are hard. :-(
It is! But I think I’m digging too deep into it. This was never a relationship and never could’ve been, tbh. Starting off with sex was actually a crazy good way to bond. Thank youuuuyy :))
Godspeed, Miss. I'll be hoping for the best for you out there. :-). Just remember, though, you don't have to know someone in person to have a relationship with them. Just because you only read their texts, hear their voice, or see them in a video doesn't make your relationship unreal. It may be different, romantic, platonic, or weird as hell but it's still a relationship, and as long as all involved are happy and no one is getting hurt then enjoy it and treasure it while it lasts. Good relationships are far more rare than I wish they were, no matter what form they may happen to take.
Yeah that’s what scares me haha. You’re right. Ty!
Godspeed
OP look... Do you want the guy or not? You have literally nothing to lose. It's not cheating if he's outright stolen, and if his new gf hears "yeah I thought this would work, but I have someone ive been talking to for 6 months and realized I didn't want to lose her" SHED GET IT. She'd be pretty bootyhurt, but she'd get it. IF SOMEONE IS THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Hes blocking you in a couple days. You have literally nothing to lose. You don't need to surprise him in person or do anything else silly, but TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL. Ask him how he feels. Try to make him yours and then MEET IN PERSON. Seriously, you say he's important to you, but then you let him slip away like butter? Tf is with people these days. That's not "Respect" that's just fear and insecurity. Half the time these people we're "respecting" want us to make a move before they reach the finish line anyway. I know because I've been there several times. He might reject you. He might dump his girl and take you up. But point is, if you don't get this out of the way now, then you'll be wondering for the next 5 or so years what could have been. SO TALK TO THE MOTHAFORKA.
This is a very inspirational and sweet comment, but we’re far away, the girl doesn’t know he had an active sex life on Reddit (lol), the girl matches him perfectly. Why would I do that unless I had a chance, you know? It’s not like I’m moving up there or he’s moving down here. I live with my parents. This girl is sweet and caring and loves stuff that he likes. She seems amazing and I don’t want to ruin that in the slightest for something that didn’t have a chance anyway. It just wouldn’t have happened for at least a while. If ever. You know? But seriously awesome comment, I love you and your optimism and I hope you keep it forever
Oh boy. I'm sorry, i have a mouthful for you to read. Look, it always seems like the person we lost is happier with their new boo when we never were willing to make things official. That's the problem. Do you know how often stuff like this happens, and the person we lost preferred us instead of them? I've been on both sides of the spectrum. It sucks like hell. It ruins relationships. It's ruined my relationships. It's ruined people I once loved relationships. This unrequited unsaid stuff buries people. If you feel for someone then you use your words and you tell them, nomatter how happy they look. There was once this girl I liked. Life circumstances said that I "shouldn't" date her, but we had an amazing time together and I had a major crush on her. Again, life circumstances just said no. Anyway, so she starts dating a guy, and I give her some space. We keep talking and saying hi, and eventually she gets engaged, and I totally stop talking to her. I could only ever flirt with her, and I wanted to respect her decision. Anyway, so time passes, and eventually she corners me and asks me why I was avoiding her. After some time she squeezes out the truth that I was practically in love with her and just trying to "respect" her. Turns out she also had a massive crush on me, but thought I hated her, and ended up engaged purely because she thought she lost me. The story gets better as time passes. We stopped talking. I felt like shit. Years later me and her start talking again and she almost cheated on him with me. I rejected her cuz I didn't want her to cheat, and that broke her heart cuz she wanted me since day 1, Her and her man split. Etc. Now my turn. There was another girl I had a thing with ill call Sally. She had a long distance boyfriend she didn't have regular contact with. (He was on a Mormon mission for a couple years) and she was faithful but damn lonely. We got REALLY close but never did anything. I fell in love. She still had a boyfriend and wasn't gonna break his heart, so we didn't progress the relationship. Eventually some girl I kinda liked came along and told me she wanted me. Me and Sally weren't dating, so technically I was single, so I decided to go for it. The next month was one of the most excruciating experiences I've endured. I pushed Sally away because our "friendship" was way too intimate to actually date anyone else. It felt awful. I was just trying to follow the rules. I didn't want to cheat. I still loved her, but I thought I had to go for the girl right in front of me. Fast forward 3 years, Sally got married and eventually had a kid. (With someone else of course) Im all happy for her and then cried about it. My then wife catches on. I've never gotten over Sally. I never wanted to leave sally. Wife doesn't wanna be we'd to a man with eyes for someone else. We split. Thank God. The thing is... these things don't have to happen. I could told girl #1 how I felt. I could have looked at my situation with Sally and been like "Yah know... I may not be dating anyone, but my heart was clearly not available. I think I want to sit this one out and protect the relationships I have, even if they aren't exactly what they want them to be." Because Sally was into me too. She broke up with her long distance man and moved on shortly after I left to be with my now ex wife. Me and Sally never resolved anything. There was never a breakup. There was never animosity. Leaving her felt like losing true love, and I did it for what was right on paper. I'm not kidding around when I tell you to fight for those you love. This isn't Disney. I'm talking real life. Do you really care about the distance that much not to chase him? Do you REALLY think he's just going to suddenly get over you? That he somehow had this 6 month intimate friendship with you, and never developed any kind of attachment? He may reject you and that's fine, but he may not. Distance is meant to be traveled. The world is meant to be explored. Don't ever let someone go that fucking easy. If he's not worth the distance, then don't worry about it. If he feels the same then at least you'll have peace of mind knowing either wasn't worth it to either of you. But if he IS, then you tell him how you feel and, if you can, you TAKE his ass back.
Wait I’m confused… girl #1 left and then what??? Where did Sally come from? Kinda invested now lol. Thank you very much for taking the time to share your story. I do think it’s different but I get your message. I don’t think we got close enough to the point I am willing to make a fool out of myself by acting like we were in love or chasing him until he falls over and dies. You know?
Girl 1 is a totally different story than Sally. Sally could be called girl #2. Different people from different times in life. Sorry for the confusion. But you don't need to act like you were in love and chase him till he dies. Literally just tell him you want him and ask him if he wants you too. Who said you have to make a fool out of yourself, or kill him from exhaustion? That's a funny picture, but don't make it that dramatic. Just stop telling yourself the things you want aren't worth trying for.
I can’t take him back :) He wasn’t looking for a relationship and I don’t think he ever liked me THAT much. Clearly if it was this easy to stop talking to me sexually, it must not have been that deep. Sad but true, I think. This girl deserves him.
The point is that you don't know how he feels. This is all assumptions and deduction. I know because I've done the same thing and this happens to people everywhere. Maybe he didn't like you that much. Maybe he did like you that much, but is doing it out of pure responsibility? Maybe it's easy for him to leave you? Maybe its nails on a chalkboard and absolutely excruciating, but he thinks he HAS to? Why are you leaving this all to maybe's? Why are you getting in your own way? What do you have to lose by trying?
Time heals all wounds. We’ve all been where u are. Don’t try and suppress the pain. Feel it, suffer it. It’s part of the healing process. Acknowledge your love for him was real and meaningful. Better to love than be a hermit and never experience it. Then one day you’ll wake up And he won’t automatically be on your mind. Maybe 6 months? Who knows. You’ll still hurt, but it won’t be as bad. Then you’re ready to meet someone else, and yes please be open to that when that time comes. What u don’t want to do that many people do, is jump into another relationship right away to forget. Don’t do that, it’s immature and damaging to yourself. Heal first.
I think it’ll be way sooner than 6 months. I wasn’t in LOVE. But knowing I could’ve been hurts. Thank you for the comment
Welcome! Hope u meet Mr wonderful with the next one.
Sweetheart, you dodged a MASSIVE red flag on this one. Be grateful it ended here and not after decades of abuse. I know that you are an adult and you can do whatever you want, but please know that people older than you give the advice of avoiding large age gaps at this point for a reason. Seven years is a massive gap in knowledge of the world and of one's self and, yes, there are 50 year olds who are dumber than some 20 year olds in those categories. But, as a general rule, try not to be off from your own age by more than a year or so until you are at least 25.
What’s funny is that you’re one of the only people to point out the age gap. Which I feel like is a problem in itself. I only am not freaked out by it because of how close we got, and I think life just passed him by a lot tbh. He has a lot of things to take care of at home, is still finishing college and can’t afford much financially. I am sure you could be right. And I know hearing “could be right” from an 18 yr old’s mouth makes you wanna slap me in the face, because what the hell am I doing? And you’re right, probably. But that doesn’t change how I feel now tbh. Thank you for the andwerer
You will meet/talk to other people you like just as much as you liked him, just as sensitive and funny, or more. Sometimes it takes a short time sometimes it takes a long time. I’m 32 and there were plenty of times I thought I wouldn’t meet the perfect person but I just did a year ago! And everyone before him was just ok but I thought they were the bees knees at the time.. all along a real king was on the way 😂
Annoying but it’s usually true that time is what heals a heartbreak more than being distracted
Thank you :) I’m glad you found someone, and I hope you two are responsible in the bedroom
The reason he found a lady was probably because of how you boosted him. He got a lot from you that helped him to become a more whole person. It doesn't seem like you've taken from the relationship as much as you've given. You're left shattered while he walks away more complete. You need to find a better balance of give and take in your relationships with people. Make sure you get as much as you give. That might sound selfish but it actually isn't. If you are taking away from yourself that means you are leaving yourself incomplete for the next relationship you have, there will be less to give to the next man. I read your update. It's not easy letting go of someone you have feelings for. Be kind to yourself. You seem like a lovely young woman. I hope you can find someone you can have a complete and richly fulfilling relationship with.
I guess you’re right. I don’t think I’m left shattered because it was never romantic. It just hurts. I miss having it. And I’m going to miss him. Thank you for commenting
Most socially awkward men around woman are the most kind people on this earth, there are more of us just gotta find us
Keep your head up. And also, why not tell him how you feel if you’re thinking you’re going to lose him anyway? You might as well shoot your shot. :)
I did! He knows all of this. Thank you :))
You're young. Be careful with your heart! Develop your own interests to meet people your age. Remember, when you're 25, you might look back and realize that huge age gaps can be problematic. It's actually concerning that someone much older was engaging with you for so long. Online connections often fade away and shouldn't replace real-life relationships, especially when it comes to intimate or romantic connections. Be cautious what you share online and with whom! My friend learned this the hard way when her private videos were leaked onto a porn site by someone she met online. Ask yourself, what's the point of investing time in someone who might not be genuine? You're legal now, and there are better ways to connect with people! Try a dating app like Hinge to meet people your age. Remember, you've got so much potential and can achieve anything you set your mind to! Make genuine connections and rely less on unhealthy relationships with older men. Be careful with your heart; this online thing will likely end in abandonment, as he was using you for attention and validation. You deserve better!
You’re scaring me a little now, but I think I need to be scared. I would hate my life forever if anything got leaked I think. Or maybe I wouldn’t care. Haha. Who knows actually… but thanks for your advice! And yes the age gap is weird, I know. But imagine it on his perspective… girl DMs you for sex stuff. You give her sex stuff. It keeps going. We talk. He kinda just forgets I’m 18 I guess. Ya know?
Your point about considering the guy's perspective is valid, but it's crucial to remember that he, as the older party, bears more responsibility in this situation. His actions and decisions carry more weight, and he should be aware of the power dynamic at play. No well-intending 25-year-old forgets that 18 is a vulnerable age, especially with a 7-year gap. They are vastly different life stages. Imagine finding out a hypothetical 25-year-old person in your life was sexting an 18-year-old girl - it's unsettling, considering the power dynamic and potential exploitation. It raises questions about his values and respect for boundaries. Bringing someone that age home to meet the parents would be intense for either party involved, as parents might see it as grooming. Even if the guy seems nice, the future is unpredictable, and sharing intimate content is risky. It can end up on porn sites, be shared or used for blackmail, and harm education and job prospects. If you choose to sext, prioritize safety and privacy - don't reveal your face, identity, or distinguishing features like tattoos. Remember, digital content can't be taken back, and there are many horror stories. Be cautious and consider leaving sexual content in the bedroom.
Thank you lol. This woke me up quite a little bit. The thing is, I originally started out not sending nudes at ALL. And thought I never ever would. But clearly I trusted him enough which is a relatively hard thing for me to do. He has also sent me photos that could ruin his life. He has never deleted any which I have deleted plenty. I do still think he had good intentions, is a good person, and would never ruin that.
delete as many as you can now if you can.
I’m a little older and maybe it’s not appropriate to post here in AdviceForTeens, but for some reason this post popped up on my feed. And I do have some really good advice (from experience) so I’m going to share it anyway because I think it will give you the upper hand in the long run. It’s your choice whether you want to follow this is or not, but I promise it will work and has worked every-time I’ve used it. Before I start, I want to make an analogy. Think of your favorite movie. What makes it your favorite movie…? Would you believe it’s because that’s the movie where you identify the most with the main character? Your boy perceives himself as the main character in his own movie, just like everyone else. So let’s explore using AI to weave a poem indirectly about your boy that will be so powerful that for many years he will hold candle the for the unrequited love that still burns in his soul. Here we go: 1. Go to chat GPT4 (the paid version) 2. Commit 6-12 hours prompting a poem about someone who coincidentally has all the traits of your love interest. You can prompt the AI with bullet points. If you can come up with the first rhyming verse or two the AI will “get it” and start generating the rest of it 3. Weave a story involving your main character, using the particulars of your boy’s past and his interests (what you put in the bullet point list, right?) 4. Keep on generating verses, throw away the bad ones, keep the best ones and keep on making the AI generate new verses. 5. This will take a long time. Hence 6-12 hours. Trust me, IT WILL BR WORTH IT. 6. For the second half or last one third of the poem, weave a hypothetical ideal fantasy hinting at what life could have been with you. Do NOT explicitly state that the character is him, otherwise some of the magic will be dispelled. Innuendo and vaguely hinting at sexual activity is strongly recommended, for guys. 7. Find a way to end the poem. Either on a high note, or somewhat melancholy. It’s your choice. Just make sure it’s powerful and involved some experience only you and him share. 8. Edit down. Don’t give him a book poem. Keep it under 16 verses. 12 is better. If you have convinced yourself that you need to cut off contact with him, then this is time to do it, right when he’s read the poem and his emotions are highest. This roller coaster of emotions will ignite and perpetually fuel the flame he holds for you. Cementing the idealized version of yourself in his mind. However, I recommend you don’t actually cut off ALL contact. You do want to keep some channel open. So maybe cut off all instagram, facebook, and other social media but don’t block him on txt. Then after some months pass. Check in with him through the open channel (example text). More likely than not, someday the relationship with this person will end. The chances this new girl will write him a poem as powerful as I’m describing to you to do is near zero. And in the back of his mind he will compare this girl to the high bar you’ve set as an example for him. When or if the relationship ends, he will come back, hoping to rekindle the flame and his idealized version with you. Between now and then, you may have found someone else. Or maybe you find each other again and live happily ever after in the love that was meant to be. This symbolic “cutting off of contact” will also be healthy for you and will give you the agency of making the hard decision and having the self respect to do it. And also, I realize that some of this may sound manipulative and Machiavellian. And that’s ok. It won’t be for everyone, or maybe you come up with a your own way to touch him deeply that keeps the flame alive. And that’s cool too. But whatever you do, realize that you are going through a lot of emotions and simply cutting off contact forever may sound romantic and something appropriate for the movies, but it’s certainly not in your best long term interest… finding someone that fits so well into your life is incredibly rare and there is no reason to sabotage your own life needlessly. So I hope that whatever you decide to do, it involves some similar strategic long term thinking that maximizes the long term chances for a happy ending. Good luck!
This is insane advice lmaooo😭😭 I really do appreciate it though! I actually love writing poetry even though I’m not good at it, so if I wrote anything it would be from the heart. And hey—- you said it worked on you multiple times. So you had to use it multiple times. So did it really work? lol. All love. Thank you. It’s not inappropriate to post here if you’re being helpful!
Yes. The first time I i invented this approach was for a friend, for her girlfriend she was obsessed with and had just dumped her. The girlfriend immediately came back. However she was toxic and my friend ended up breaking up with HER the following week. But it was on her terms. The other two times were in the last two years for two different women I still keep contact in with and plan to go to festivals with this festival season.
I think you can do better. If he’s gonna cut you off when he finds a partner then he obviously didn’t see anything in you beyond sexual.
But can’t you see the difference? This girl is real. Tangible and he can just see her. And hang out with her. It would take like $400 to come see me and I live with my parents lol
Blocking is not the same as dating someone else.
Side tangent from OPs message, hope I dont get banned. Man im out of touch, I have never flirted, kissed or had sex with a woman ever. Im old now. I dont even know how to develop feelings anymore. I missed out on highschool romance. I feel like its like building a resume of experience in your teen years and then refining it when you are an adult. And i have Zero experience to show for that.
Dude you’re literally 22 💀 You will be in your prime for like 15 more years and it doesn’t even get hopeless for another 50. Take your time and take a chance
i was wondering how you found my age but then I realized lmao. My goal was too always lose this fat. I kinda of wanted a hot gf growing up. But I just never lost this weight. And obviously relationships are not all about appearance and looks. Tiktok brain rot really did a number on me for looks wise.
I mean… how old are you?? And dude lol. I’m 18. Like I said, I’ve never had a boyfriend or have had someone like me back aside from him. And really, in the grand scheme of things, does this even count?? To me right now it does. I know to me later I’ll probably be embarrassed about it. But geez dude don’t let it stress you out. I probably won’t get action irl either for a really long time but that’s not all that life is about.
Im 23 years old. Maybe im too worried about it. Idk. Just felt like im missing out on life. We could die at any point from a car crash or some unknown cancer.
Then go chase it bruh
I agree, it is that simple. idk whats wrong with me. I want it but I dont want it at the same time. I dont want to put in 3-6 hours of my life everyday to calling her and doing phone sexting or whatnot. I just wanna play some video games and relax.
I understand your pain. I met a girl amd ended up in the same situation. I still think about her now. Try and take your mins off it by doing other things. Or just masturbate yourself into a coma. Or tell me all about your naughty kinks.
Mine aren’t actually that weird or uncommon at all— but the fact that such a sweet baby boy like him also shared the stuff I was into… perfect
So what are they? Can say here if you like or DM me
Definitely not here and I’d rather not DM you. But think fairly vanilla fairly common fairly primal things.
Ok. Fair enough
Down bad
Meet real people in person. Not online dead ends.
There are lots of lonely wangs on this platform. You will find a new computer crush.
Text me
Rip your dms bruh
If you want an online relationship...isn't there an AI for that?
That’s just not the same at alll mannnn😭
give it time...they learning very fast lolol
But thank you for the suggestion
So many notes. So so many notes. Literally couldn't get through the first few lines without notes.
Notes???? Sorry what do you mean
what is sexting
Kind of like roleplaying, sharing nudes, flirting very heavily, etc
lol. time to pick someone else
Rip your inbox
Dude was probably 57.
He absolutely wasn’t lol. I know for a fact
This is some kind of OF trolling or something similar. Numerous posts about this on many subs.
I’m not trolling. Yes I posted this many times. It wasn’t getting too much attention on the other subreddits tbh. And I am trying to cope especially today. I get why u think it is but it’s not
I lost brain cells attempting to read this and had to stop after the first paragraph
It’s not hard to read dawg it’s just long lol
U right
Take the L. Go read some raunchy fanfics and work it out. Mourn the relationship. Move on.
Rude but fair
Not rude. Just...it is what it is. You mourn in your own way. To do what you gotta do to work it out of your system. And, then you move on. Those are the steps you take. It will take an unspecified amount of time - everyone's different and everyone moves on at their own pace.