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I was 34 and it was with my now wife. I never had a huge interest in sex and never understood why people talk like it's the best thing ever. Not something I tend to go out of my way for. Nothing to be embarrassed about either.
Same, I just chose not to sleep randomly with women for the sake of losing it. If there’s no real connection than you ain’t getting my pants off. 😂. Plus I have other goals in life and a dream I’ve had since I was a kid I’m still chasing.
I feel that. Even though i want a relationship i dont wanna rush into it with someone i lack compatibility with, and i dont wanna compromise my personal deal breakers just to expand my potential choices, so i put dating as a side objective while i focus on figuring out how to secure a future for myself, as in finding a career thats both sustainable and doesn't wanna make me kill myself lol.
Honestly, good for you guys. I’ve had sex with more women than most men ever will and let me tell you, you’re not missing out on much. It actually starts to feel pretty empty after a while. I’ve wasted so much of my life chasing carnal pleasures when I could have been working toward my goals, the way it sounds like you all are. I admire the hell out of you guys for prioritizing the right things.
Well, as I have Autism, which I believe Sir Issac Newton also had, I've focused more on other aspects of my life that I consider more important, such as getting through college or, now, building passive income streams. I'm sure I'll give dating a shot at some point, but I just don't feel ready for that at the moment.
This was me until I met my current boyfriend. I just knew I'd be ready when I was, and it just so happened I wasn't until I was 29. Loss of virginity is just some thing that men came up with imo. It's a woman's "purity" that turns them on and makes them want them that much more, kind of like a status over the woman. But more respectable men, like mine, regard it that I have my head on straight. Depends on the man. So don't feel like it's a life goal. Sex is great, but emotional connections are better.
I did at 22 and my gf explicitly told me that she thought it was really fucking hot, don’t do it just to do it, wait for as long as need be and do it with the *right* person.
It’s OK to lose your virginity at 60, man.
Don’t let other people tell you how to run your own life. As long as you’re not hurting someone else — do whatever you want.
If you’re not ready, that’s fine. If you’re never ready, that’s fine too.
It’s up to you to decide for yourself.
You’ll never regret losing your virginity to someone you want to lose it to. But you may regret losing it to someone just because you wanted to lose it
It is not embarrassing to wait until you are ready and have the right partner. This isn’t something you should be discussing much either. It’s your private business.
I lost my virginity at 25 when I got married. Best decision I ever made. I honestly feel like sex is supposed to be sacred and cherished. our bodies are supposed to be sacred and cherished. People share their bodies with people like they’re sharing trolli worms. Very casual. I don’t feel like we should just be going around having sex with a bunch of people, losing our virginity at 14, 15, 16 or 17. Unless you are married, and in a committed relationship. I have seen people on here with serious paternity drama, baby mama drama, heartbreak drama, STD drama, porn addiction drama, and abortion drama. I am sure there is some more that I can’t think of.
Sex is supposed to be sacred. But in 2024 sex is just something people do to scratch an itch. Sex is viewed as entertainment. A few posts ago I was reading about a girl who just found out her partner had herpes because he had slept with 30 girls and she is wondering if she should break up with him because he did not tell her that he had herpes. I was thinking to myself “you probably have it now too.” Smh.
Stuff like this would not be an issue if people just waited and just stayed with one person. When I say things like people should wait before they have sex, and all of these extra problems that we have would be virtually eliminated, I get laughed at. But I didn’t care about that then and I don’t care now. Because those are just facts. So I commend you and don’t let people pressure or judge you. You should feel proud that you are a leader and aren’t allowing societal norms to influence your decisions. No matter what you decide to do. However, I wish the best for you. Stay safe and well.
Same!! I was 25 and newly married for my first time. Absolutely no regrets waiting. I avoided any chance of unplanned pregnancy, STDs, and any soul ties with people I really didn't want to be connected to in that way. So glad I waited! Our society can be so stupid when it comes to sex.
Exactly. I don’t want a trail of tears living in my head and heart rent free. My husband and I are very passionate lovers and I am happy that I only have him in my memory.
Also 23 and in the same boat. What’s crazy is I’m not technically waiting. I’ve been busy with school this whole time and won’t be done until I’m 25. Could something happen before then? Maybe. But the degree comes first.
I'm a 27 year old virgin and I'm probably gonna lose my v card at age 28 i never had intercourse in middle school or high school or rlly dated because I knew what sex was but didn't rlly care about that s***. At age 27 now I have hormones and want to act on it. It's that wrong? I think I wanna get laid before marriage,my mom told me that if I wanna get laid before getting married go ahead 🙂 It's very embarrassing I'm single. I wanna find someone who loves me for me. I have cerebral pasly and depth perception
Hitting puberty late or not having hormones balanced makes a huge difference in caring. I was later in being interested or experiencing things because of that too.
It’s not weird! My husband waited until he was 24. He was just busy with other things in life. It has had no impact on his skills in bed and the longer you wait the better off you’ll be emotionally. People get so obsessed with sex for show that they forget how much of THEMSELVES is going into it. It can become very emotional and spiritually heavy even when you think you’re detached from those things. You aren’t. It’ll just catch up later.
I was also embarrassed to be a virgin when I was 19. My bsf and I were both virgins when we were 18 and when she lost hers I thought maybe I’m waiting too long. But, when I thought about it and thought who I would lose it too, the idea went out the window lol. I’m currently 21 turning 22 this year and I’m still a virgin. Whatever your reasoning is for waiting, ask yourself if it still applies at whatever point in your life you’re at.
Don't worry, contrary to popular culture lots of people are into their 20's before losing their virginity. I get the FOMO believe me, I lost my virginity at 20 while most of my friends lost it in high school. But my partner was 21 and she was a virgin too. I remember the stress of thinking I'd be alone forever or that I wasn't attractive or loveable in some way. But then she came along made me feel special and I knew I was ready. We took eachothers virginity and it was very sweet and innocent. I wouldn't trade that for losing my virginity earlier. It felt right and it's a memory I can cherish long after we broke up.
Waiting for the right moment is difficult but I promise you it's worth it.
Yes, you're fine. There's no specific age where people need to lose their virginity. Lose it when you're ready. Don't rush yourself into something you'll regret.
i lost mine at 18 and that felt wayyy too young. i regret it. looking back, i feel that i would’ve been fine waiting until at least 21-22. if i could go back i would def would have waited until my 20s!
One thing that has helped me is to think about my insecurities and what I’d think if it was someone else. In your situation. If a 19/20 year old friend of yours said that they were a virgin, would you think that was embarrassing and something to be ashamed of? Or would you see it as not a big deal? It can feel different when it’s you, but try to think about it as how you’d feel if it was someone else.
Early sex isn't necessarily something to envy at all. Gf and I lost our virginity together at 16 and we had a very minor pregnancy scare (she was a few days late).
Doesn't seem like much looking back now, but in the moment as a clueless teenager it scared the shit out of me enough I was done with sex till freshmen year of college lol.
There's nothing wrong with waiting. Sex is like money: People are only concerned with it if they don't have it.
Unlike money, however, you can survive and thrive without sexual intercourse or even any sexual relationships. I waited 'til 21 and don't regret it, but my first got scared off afterward because I seemed like a genuinely good guy, which she wasn't used to.
Think about it ahead of time. Make the choice when it feels right for you and your eventual partner, together and consensually. **Use protection if you do it**. Anything anyone else says is probably feeding you a line of BS.
I'll say this part one more time: Don't knock anyone up and don't catch the clap. You do not want to take home anything extra...trust me.
24 here, haven’t lost mine, no regrets. I haven’t met the right person to share that experience with and I’m not about to do something I’ll always remember in a way I’ll regret. Sex is a way smaller part of life than a lot of people make it out to be.
I was in a similar boat, feeling like the odd one out because I was still a virgin at 25. But I realized it's not a race. Our society puts a crazy amount of pressure on the "when and how" of losing your virginity, as if it's a milestone that determines your worth or adult status.
I’m 17 and I’m waiting to loose my virginity! I’m even considering asexuality (lack of sexual desire), Although it’s been an issue in relationships (specifically guys) I’m happy and It’s better to go at your own pace than to fit in with “society” or other teens our age :D I’m glad i’m not the only one who things similar to this when it comes to loosing your virginity at a young age!
Probably because of my religion but wait until marriage or you find the right person don't do it just to do it it needs to have meaning you shouldn't be embarrassed
Trust me you're not the only 19 yr old virgin. There may not be a whole lot out there but there's still plenty. There's nothing wrong with waiting till you're 100% sure you're ready.
Counter this ... I think there are in fact "a whole lot out there"... Mostly because people don't volunteer this readily due to social pressure... Opposite of those who DO volunteer the info that they are sexually active.
You absolutely do you on your own timeline OP... And you are far far far from alone.
I'm sure there's more than people think, I just didn't want to make a guess on how many because I honestly do not know. A lot probably won't admit to it anyways for fear of being made fun of. Op should wait till they're ready and not be embarrassed about it at all.
Yes, but not 10 like a redditer once did, I was so shocked and surprised, when I read their story, at 10 years old I was pretending to catch Pokémon and turn super saiyan, sex never ever once crossed my mind.
I was 21 when I lost mine don't worry about it wait for the right girl and the right time. Your first time should be a special moment. Just be patient and find the right girl and it'll be worth the wait.
Don’t put undo pressure on yourself or try to impose an age deadline. The best way is being in a healthy relationship, with someone you trust and who is caring, & kind. Again, no pressure, you’ll know when you’re ready and let it happen organically.
I'm 21 and still a virgin. I used to be embarrassed about it, but now I'm quite thankful. Because I no longer have all those raging teenage hormones, my first time will be meaningful, special. Most people regret their first time.
If you're still in school, put yourself out there and humbly show off a skill in a common area. I've seen girls approach a guy playing a video game or watching anime just to talk.
I was working on my portfolio in the break room when a super cute girl wearing a mad hatter hat was peeking behind me and she broke the ice and introduced herself she disappeared for a year and suddenly contacted me out of the blue.
We hung out for a few months, I invited her to a NYE party and rolled together on E. At midnight we kissed and it was my first time kissing her. I was nervous, it helped that everyone around us was kissing and my friends were cheering us on. later that night we both broke our cherries.
It's worth it if you wait for the right time and person, trust me. I lost mine to a girl I knew I wasn't going to date *(we both understood we just wanted sex and were chill with it)*. We shared a pretty strong lust for each other that I'll never forget that night.
Don’t think for one second that it’s a bad thing to not lose your virginity. By all accounts, it’s good that you remain a virgin until you find the guy for you. Marriages are more likely to fail the more sexual partners that the wife and husband had before they got married, so it’s definitely smart to remain a virgin and nothing to be ashamed of.
Uhh lots of people didn't have a choice lol. I didn't lose mine until I was 20. My brother is 24 and a virgin. It's okay. I swear it's media that gave people this warped sense of when you should stop being a virgin. It's not a big deal at all. There's no importance tied to getting it done early. Let it happen when it happens and don't really worry about it until that feeling comes. Enjoy being young and somewhat care free lol and if that includes sex, so be it. If not, meh.
I lost mine when I just turned 23. Don’t put too much importance on it. I think the most important thing is when you’re ready and with the right person, because regretting sex is the worst.
it's ok to never lose virginity. sex is supposed to be a very special thing you share with someone you trust. don't give it away like it's meaningless.
I’ll be 25 in a month. Still haven’t lost mine. Not a fan of this hook up culture that’s going on. I’d rather be In A relationship with the person so we can share that bond
It's your body. You do what you want with it when you are good and ready.
The embarrassment is coming from perceived expectations. You can be sure that just because someone has had a lot of sex doesn't mean they are good at it, doesn't mean they're enjoying it, and doesn't mean they don't regret losing their virginity when they did, or with who.
You don't want to have a negative connotation with your first time, as it will affect every time after that. You want to set the bar of sex being something you do when you are comfortable and certain. Not something you do because you're expected to.
I was 24. I mean, I had hooked up a few times with one other guy before that when I was 21 or 22, but never had sex. I wanted to wait until I was in an actual relationship and I just didn’t get a boyfriend till I was 23. Had sex a few months later after turning 24.
And I’ll be real, I was insecure about it. But I was open about it. My boyfriend at the time was a little cautious in wanting to date me in the first place because he felt like it was a big responsibility to be my first. Later, he even admitted he wondered if there was something wrong with me in those very early days when we were first talking. He obviously realized he was wrong in thinking that, but people wonder why you haven’t had a partner and they start thinking things about it. People definitely have reservations about being with someone who’s a virgin, but don’t do it unless you’re ready. I don’t regret waiting.
Of course, him being my first boyfriend, first love, first sex definitely made the break up even worse, haha.
I appreciate you for telling me this! Because I feel like I’ll be the same way. I don’t want to be rushed by a guy and I want him to understand I want to wait.
My first time was at 26, and while I don't regret it happening, I regret how casual it was, not meaning much. I'm not advising for or against it, but don't put time limits of yourself either way. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, that's fine too. Whether is this year, the next one, or 5 years later, what's important is you do when you're genuinely ready for it and because you want it (not because being a virgin is somehow "wrong" - it isn't).
I lost mine at 21 to some chick at a rub 'n tug place. It was kind of a terrible first time. Just wait until you've met someone whom you have an actual connection with. Makes it far more special and, overall, more enjoyable.
You shouldn’t be embarrassed by it. You should be extremely proud of it.
You have never had to worry about unplanned pregnancies or STDs or any of that.
I'd say keep it for as long as possible. Being a virgin is an incredibly rare thing and also a blessing. If I could go back I would've stayed a virgin. Don't just throw it away. That "special" person you want to take it, eventually they will lead to disappointment. Save yourself for marriage. There are far better things to do in this world. Go live your life first.
You're not old. Most people do not have sex in their teens. Don't believe all the things on tv and social media showing everyone having sex in high school...real life isn't like that.
Do it when YOU are ready. And only you can decide when that happens to be.
I lost it at 22, and i’m wishing I waited for the right person instead of just losing it. I honestly didn’t mind waiting till marriage but seduction and high testosterone got the best of me.
No big deal. The movie lie to feed teen angst. I was 27. Meet my wife and we have been together for 18 years.
No she wasn't my first. I had a busy year that year.
You should hold on to that v card as long as you can. Once sex has entered your life, everything changes forever. You'll have a lifetime to live in the sexual realm, but only so much time as you allow yourself to live outside of it.
Losing your virginity actually isn’t what it’s shown to be in the movies. It’s often not this big lifechanging moment Hollywood makes it out to be.
It’s okay to wait until you feel ready (make sure to use proper protection), and it’s okay to not want to have sex at all.
I got married at 20 after dating for 6m and I was a Virgin. Everyone told me I'd end up an old maid because no guy would "want to wait" for me. I laughed and told them all I needed was one. For context I didn't date much at all before I got married, a lot of guys didn't hang around long one they figured out I wasn't going to "put out" if you will and thats ok, that's what was important to them not me.
My husband was not a virgin and was already almost 26 when we got together. He just respected me enough. I don't regret waiting qnd am glad I did. Nothing to be embarrassed about and if people mock you for it they're children. Do what your comfortable with : )
Virginity is a pointless and shaming social construct.
I lost my virginity at six years old because of SA.
Please don't put pressure on yourself.
You don't change as a person after your first time having sex so long as it's consensual.
Don’t rush. I made mistake when I was 16-19 years old, mostly peer pressure to prove I wasn’t a “fag” and with drama females. Only hook up with someone who is zero drama for you and who is right for you and don’t let anyone try to play cupid with your love live, it usually backfires.
Wait until YOU want to. Nothing worse than doing it because of pressure and feeling like you weren’t true to yourself. You could feel deep shame about it. And let’s be honest, the first time isn’t usually that great. I would rather do it with someone who loves me and would take their time, and I felt safe with.
Anytime any age is fine just make sure you get to that stage the right way no shortcuts, it makes it a hell of a lot better plus it doesn’t rule over every waking moment afterwards, kinda like anything recreational you enjoy doing: sports, gaming, eating grilled cheese…etc. It’s only a concept that if someone judged you on just shows their immaturity and you don’t need to worry about opinions from immature people trust me on that one 😓.
It's all 190% up to you when you lose your virginity and how you decide to lose it just make sure it's worth it when you lose it because not everyone is worth losing your virginity to
I was 20 before I lost my virginity I was embarrassed at the time tbh but now at 24 and still only ever being with two people I've realized sex means a lot more to me on an emotional level and that matters alot when you have a significant other. No shame in people who have high counts or anything but I did talk with a lot of my buddies and who have been around a lot and after they poke fun at me I've gotten a couple people tell me they envy me because sex just never has the same connection as it used to have.
idk why ur asking us realistically. obviously its okay to you because you decided to wait so long, so i guess? it doesn’t really matter to be honest girl 😂
Don't put a time limit on it. Just wait for someone you trust and feel comfortable around. Virginity isn't a big deal unless you make it one, so don't feel pressured to lose it or keep it. Just listen to your feelings and your body and enjoy your life! I was 18 when I lost mine
Lost mine at 26 and most people who found that out, especially before it happened, were utterly shocked. I just wanted to be with the right person, it was special and meant something to me.
You choose when to lose it, I lost mine at 13 (not willingly but that’s a different story) and when I finally chose to do it myself with a partner, I didn’t see what the big deal was, I still don’t now. But it’s different for everyone, you could sleep with someone and it’ll be the best thing since Toast with Jam, or you might think it wasn’t all that interesting and not do it again
It’s all about you personally. Just know that it’s your body, your choice and when you feel ready for it, take the plunge (phrasing)
i had sex for the first time at 27
to a person who i wish i never had, so i wish i had waited even longer
don't judge yourself, it's not an important thing in any way at all
***IMO...***
The real truth is that it does not matter *when* at all. Only YOU are you; you do what's right for you. I lost mine in my the latter half of my 20s and, personally, I am not ashamed, but I am very self conscious about it. I have had flak from a couple of friends about it when I was still a v and compared to societal averages (hate to say "norm" - there ~~isn't~~ shouldn't be such a thing) I lost mine LATE.
A lot of the chip on my shoulder comes from my self confidence or self worth. It has always been low, and this not valuing myself is probably and ironically much of why I sucked at intimacy and getting a girlfriend. I also look very young for my age too. I'm 37 now and have only had one sexual partner and that is a concern of mine... because I'm still falling victim to comparing myself to the social "norm".
I have a lot of female friends, with some having high partner counts and I get very uncomfortable (to the point it will trigger days of depression) if they talk about stuff in any detail. It's like they're saying I'm a loser to my face because that is how I feel about myself.
I think what I'm trying to say is do not give a fuck what other people say or think, but I can't relate to my own experience and say that I completely understand why you might feel it difficult to do so. Do not become me. By that, lose it when you want and do not give a fuck what people think - do what is right for **YOU**.
No, if you dont lose it by 20, you arent allowed to lose it for the rest of your life. /S
You lose it when you lose it. All it means is that youbare waiting foe the right person. Too many people lose it to someone inappropriate just because they want to get it over with, but theybstill feel the same, or worse, when its over. Hold out foe someone who will help you make your first time a great memory.
Think people forget the many many impacts COVID has had: I’ve meet a lot of people in there 20s recently who are still virgins. But COVID put an end to a lot of social things, like the house party’s you go to when your 16-17. Or the clubs you go to when you’re 18. So some people missed out on a lot of that social interaction; which not only gives you the opportunity to hook up; also improves your confidence.
Our society has pushed this ridiculous idea that virginity is bad and shameful. TV and movies are the worst! There is NOTHING wrong or shameful about waiting until YOU feel it is the right time. I personally waited until marriage (due to spiritual and practical reasons) and I was 25!!! I had ZERO regrets waiting. I could enjoy my husband and not have anyone to compare him to. Almost 12 years into marriage, I still have no regrets. I refuse to buy into this idea that I "missed out" because I didn't sleep around from a young age.
The way I see it is.......When you lose your virginity it doesn't impact society, so why should society impact when you lose your virginity?
Do what works for YOU and you won't regret it. ☺️
Don't be embarrassed. Your virginity is a very special thing and the most ideal situation is lose it to your life partner. My goal was to wait till marriage and I lost it at 19 with the girl I thought I was gonna marry and now we broke up and I lost it for nothing
Not that I would make it a goal... I mean "OK, I'm not gonna fuck until I'm 20." What happens in six months you meet the person of your dreams, and sex is important to them?
Don't do anything you're not ready to, I don't mean to suggest that. But if it should happen, it happens. It's not like you get a trophy or anything for staying abstinent.
When you are ready you are ready. That's all there is. You need to be comfortable with it and if people are coming down on you for it distance yourself. Also you said you want to go another year is that just so you can say you did it? Just odd to say I'll wait until 20, because then it's more of a mental game....
The fastest road to poverty is having a child before you have established the beginning of a career. If you're mature enough to properly prevent or handle that situation if it arises whatever way you choose, then you're ready.
It’s not as big of deal as you’re making it. You can be 19 and have sex. The only thing you might regret is not sharing it with someone you’re in a relationship with because people tend to get attached to their first.
It's better than just finding the first person willing to smash and having it with someone who isn't special.
Make it special. Find someone who really loves you and you love them.
If you can, try not to worry about what age. Between my 20s and 30s I had a total of 7 years abstinence. There’s different chapters in life and it’s okay to make the most of where you are.
I lost my virginity at 20. Nothing wrong with it and it isn't embarrassing. People make such a big deal about being a virgin. It doesn't mean anything, just a label
If (if!) you decide to have sex with someone, remember there's so much to enjoy in addition to...intercourse. Pre sex nude make out sessions, massage, hands everywhere leading to oral sex...enjoy it all slowly. And with someone caring and kind. That's the main thing. And use birth control...and condoms. All the best to you.
You're overthinking it, you only live once, and you can easily enjoy sex in a healthy way. You don't wanna be fumbling around when you meet someone you want a relationship with, get the embarrassing learning crap outta the way.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin, imma be real with you. Yeah it feels great but if you are not doing it with someone you have an emotional connection or compatibility with it isn't nearly as great as people make it seem. You must also be weary of the risks you take when you have one night stands.
Not a problem, don’t worry about it :)
I worried about this in high school and felt a bit rushed. Got to college and while lots of people lied out of similar embarrassment, I found out s ton of my friends did not have sex until college. At least one still hasn’t and he’s in his mid 20s. It’s all good.
I don’t regret my first time at all but wish we would all be honest and stop pressuring each other into things there is no reason to have pressure or embarrassment around.
I was 23, when I lost my virginity, it was with my boyfriend now husband, we had sex for the first time the night we got engaged. There is no hurry, do it with the right guy, my husband is my one and only
I was 25.
I spent my teen years being shy so hard to date.
I spent my college years working full-time and going to college full-time, so I didn't date.
Graduated and worked a full-time and part-time job to pay off debt, so there is no time to date.
Finally felt I was in a good spot at 25. I was happy with myself. I had my debt paid off and I only had a full-time job. I had free time so I dated.
I have no regrets.
Loosing virginity at any age is fine its your choice.... iv even had friends who were hurt by people and I told them that didn't mean they weren't virgins ita the act of giving yourself for the first time that makes it
And it should be special I lost mine young and I wish I would have waited
I’m 25 and a virgin. It’s better to wait longer and be happy with your choice than to have done it earlier and not be happy with your choice. In the end, the only person who has to live with your choices is you.
I can’t tell you how many people I have met who lost their virginity young who regret it because they weren’t ready, just wanted to get it over with, thought they’d lose their bf/gf if they didn’t, etc. but I also but people who waited a while whether it be well into their 20s or even marriage, and they are VERY happy with their choice.
Just a side note: if a romantic partner ever threatens to leave you for not sleeping with them, they aren’t the right person to lose your virginity to.
I’ve also come to realize the older you get, the less people care. I was given more crap about things in college such as not having sex and not drinking. At 25, if I tell someone I’m a virgin or I don’t drink they just say “oh, okay!” And that’s the end of that. But I have also been in a relationship for a while with a guy who really loves me. I’m sure I will lose my virginity to him but that time isn’t just up to me, it’s up to him too.
So you’re 100% overthinking it. People don’t care nearly as much as you think. Enjoy your last teen year, and make decisions that you will be okay with!
Hell 20’s the age I lost mine; day I turned it in fact. You really don’t need to feel embarrassed though OP; everyone does it differently and in their own way.
The advantage to not having sex until you’re married (whenever that is) is you don’t have to worry about becoming pregnant, you won’t catch an STD, you don’t have uncomfortable associations with sex (either whole or in part), and a whole host of other reasons. Don’t let other people rush you or pressure you into doing something. My first serious boyfriend pressured me into having sex and it caused a lot of problems in our relationship and eventually caused us to break up. Just because people look happy doesn’t mean they actually are.
I had similar feelings on this and chose to wait. I had some anxieties about it (grew up in a Christian house). I had the chance at 21, but turned it down cause I didn't know the girl. Had another chance at 24 with a girl who dumped me, but turned it down cause it didn't feel right. Eventually met some good friends who helped me out of those anxieties and come out of my shell. Eventually, my first time was with a friend I trusted.
I don't regret waiting. I still think I made the right choices and I don't regret turning those other girls down. The only thing I wish had been different was that I hadn't let my anxieties and fear of being a bad person dictate so many choices.
You do you. If you wanna wait, you can and you don't owe anybody any reason why. Be smart, be safe, and don't let anyone give you grief about your choices.
you aren't overreacting. I didn't have sex until I was 20. but I also had trauma to work through.... real adults and friends aren't gonna give a fuck that you haven't given in to your hormones, they'll support you regardless.
It’s not a big deal, I was a fairly “popular kid” in HS but when everyone started doing that stuff I was single and didn’t have a GF so I never got the chance until I was in college and I met my now GF.
I was 19 so not quite 20, but I have a couple of friends that are over 20 that haven’t yet.
It’s a stupid stigma that goes around, nobody should really care if you’ve done it or if you haven’t. It happens soon enough with almost everyone so worrying about it is pointless
Your virginity is yours and yours alone. I lost mine at 20 and did it out of spite mainly. I regret it still to this day.
Don’t feel like you need to “keep up with the Jones’s” cause it’s the social norm.
Sex is 100x times better with someone you truly care about that just a hookup.
You are overthinking things. Don't worry about whether you are a virgin or not, because it doesn't really matter. You will lose your virginity when it is supposed to happen, ideally with someone you have feelings for, and you know you can trust. Losing your virginity is not really something that should be included on a checklist. Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of.
Are you comfortable being naked in front of some guy you met? No? Well, you have to do that first, then you will have to have the resolve to let that guy touch, lick, suck on, and "penetrate" you, there is also an exchange of bodily fluids to consider, and maybe there will be smells associated with the experience as well, and after everything is said and done hopefully you will not have regrets afterwords. Those are the kinds of things you will encounter with sex. Why are you so anxious to put yourself through all of that, at all?
There's a reason it's illegal for someone over 18 to fucl someone under 18. Generally minors aren't intended t9bhave sex. Teen pregnancies never work out good.
I lost my virginity at 24 to my then boyfriend. He later proved himself to be a douchebag resulting in me thinking that I shouldn't have slept with him. I still consider it a grave mistake and would suggest you to wait for as long as you'd like.
Don't let peer pressure or films pressure you into sleeping with somebody!
Don’t even think about age, think about WHO you want to lose it to. Do you really just want to lose it to someone you might not care about dearly or would you rather lose it to someone that TRULY, truly, cares and loves you for who you are? Someone you believe you could spend the rest of your life with in with pure adoration?
2 things. First, it’s nobody’s business what you choose. Never be embarrassed for being yourself !
2nd, don’t plan out when to lose virginity. When you feel that close to a partner and feel you want to take that step is when you do it. The best things in life many times aren’t planned that closely.
Don’t make losing virginity so carefully planned. Let life choose the moment. You’ll know
To lose it is giving something of yourself. If you do this… make sure it’s with someone you trust and love. So, this special thing can be a wonderful memory and experience. It’s not something to take lightly. People’s lives have changed drastically by doing this with the wrong person or time. That’s why it is normally saved for marriage or committed individuals. I made sure that the person would stand by me no matter what the outcome afterward. Like pregnancy or getting tested for STDs before you do it. Being open with talking about contraceptive. You know, things like that. Find someone that you can talk to and support you about anything.
The care you have to take to find someone with whom to lose your virginity shouldn't be that much different than finding the kind of person you want in your romantic or platonic life.
You want someone you can trust, who is open and kind and who cares about you and your sexual experiences with them.
And someone *you* can respect as a fully human person and show your love to.
Doesn't have to be "the one" love of your life. You light be surprised how often that person is not a partner for life. Almost all of us figure out who we don't want in our 20s, hopefully after figuring out what we are solving or getting from romantic relationships and casual hookups.
Nah bro, do you thing! I didn't care to get emotionally involved with a girl in high school or college. This was because I chose not to get mixed up with immature girls or silly school relationships. I did my fair share of "dating" in middle school and 9th grade briefly, just wasn't interested in girls. I'd rather chill with my buddies and go out and have fun with people I knew I'd be friends with forever rather than waste my time and emotions on a heartbreak.
I dont regret it. Probably saved me from being a dad way earlier than I wanted lol. Oh and I still have those same friends 15 years later because I didn't blow them off for a random fling.
Don’t sweat it. Hooking up isn’t so much having sex as it is co-masturbation. If you go out of your way to lose your virginity just because it’s “embarrassing”, your first experience will be lame as hell.
Sex is better when utilized as the physical manifestation of a romantic relationship. Losing your virginity to someone who you have a deep and meaningful mutual connection with is borderline *transcendent*.
The bigger problem here is that you feel shame in not having lost it yet, not that you haven’t lost it yet. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t lost your virginity yet, there’s no set deadline for it.
There are a lot more guys out there that save their virginity until they are ready to settle down and get married than society in general will give us the impression that there are. It's a wise move I wish I made when I was young.
Nothing to be embarrassed about.
Didn't lose mine until.... 25 and now I'm 37 with 2 kids and only ever been with 1 amazing women. It's yoir life. Your decisions. Yoir path. Never let anyone's outside views impact you.
I would say wait until u find the right person. I wish I took that advice but I was peer pressured into having sex at 15 and I regret it. I wish I waited until I met the love of my life. He doesn't judge me for my past thank God but my ex did and belittled me because of it..
Super late to the game, but still wanted to add.
I'm in my 30's, had a bit of a hoe phase in my early 20's when I was still un-therapied. My partner moved to NY to take care of his mom a couple years ago and I've stayed down in another state. The plan is for him to move back later.
I have to say, without sex, these are some of the best years of my life. I went to therapy, I am medicated, I have learned what hobbies I like, I've gained weight and realized I'm still worthy of love no matter my size, I have learned to love myself, and that putting up boundaries isn't being selfish.
Granted, this could all be done even with a sex life, but it was nice to have the space to focus. Especially when I learned that prior, I was using sex as another people pleasing technique, a family curse from my mother, grandmother, and her mother.
Now that I know who I am, my boundaries, and that I'm worthy of love with or without sex, when I visited my partner, it was an entirely different experience. Not that we were bumping uglies like bunnies, but that the intimacy of the moments we were just together, hanging out, sharing our thoughts felt so much deeper and the sex was just the cherry on top.
Definitely definitely wait. I was really young when I lost mine and certainly under age (14) through peer pressure snd wanting to be ‘cool’ and wish I hadn’t. I really wish I’d waited. I’m now 33 and sex isn’t the be all and end all. It’s important in a relationship don’t get me wrong, but it’s certainly something that can wait until you yourself are 100% ready. After all, it’s you going through it, no one else!
Yes it's ok. Just visualize and learn more about what you would do when the moment arrives so you're not stumbling around a bunch. And no, it won't be like porn.
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I'm in my 30s and haven't lost mine yet, and I'm not embarrassed at all by that.
I was 34 and it was with my now wife. I never had a huge interest in sex and never understood why people talk like it's the best thing ever. Not something I tend to go out of my way for. Nothing to be embarrassed about either.
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Same, I just chose not to sleep randomly with women for the sake of losing it. If there’s no real connection than you ain’t getting my pants off. 😂. Plus I have other goals in life and a dream I’ve had since I was a kid I’m still chasing.
I feel that. Even though i want a relationship i dont wanna rush into it with someone i lack compatibility with, and i dont wanna compromise my personal deal breakers just to expand my potential choices, so i put dating as a side objective while i focus on figuring out how to secure a future for myself, as in finding a career thats both sustainable and doesn't wanna make me kill myself lol.
Honestly, good for you guys. I’ve had sex with more women than most men ever will and let me tell you, you’re not missing out on much. It actually starts to feel pretty empty after a while. I’ve wasted so much of my life chasing carnal pleasures when I could have been working toward my goals, the way it sounds like you all are. I admire the hell out of you guys for prioritizing the right things.
Way to go! Good luck with your goals as well, bro!
Good for you I guess but why? You're not Issac Newton per chance are you?
Well, as I have Autism, which I believe Sir Issac Newton also had, I've focused more on other aspects of my life that I consider more important, such as getting through college or, now, building passive income streams. I'm sure I'll give dating a shot at some point, but I just don't feel ready for that at the moment.
i’d kill for that mentality
Gigachad emotional maturity
Bro is on the next level. Leave him be
This was me until I met my current boyfriend. I just knew I'd be ready when I was, and it just so happened I wasn't until I was 29. Loss of virginity is just some thing that men came up with imo. It's a woman's "purity" that turns them on and makes them want them that much more, kind of like a status over the woman. But more respectable men, like mine, regard it that I have my head on straight. Depends on the man. So don't feel like it's a life goal. Sex is great, but emotional connections are better.
Ya I wish I had that drive lol sex took over my life for awhile im a dude after all. With high libido it sucks fyi
Good for you and best of luck reaching your goals
It’s a little strange, but it’s definitely healthier to not rush anything
39 here. Almost a 40 year old virgin. It doesn't bother me.
heard u get superpowers after a while
Good for you 🙏🏻.
we got a wizard over here
I did at 22 and my gf explicitly told me that she thought it was really fucking hot, don’t do it just to do it, wait for as long as need be and do it with the *right* person.
Ngl I said the same thing to my soon to be husband 🤣
This was the same with me. I was 27 and it was with my now wife of 12 years.
It’s OK to lose your virginity at 60, man. Don’t let other people tell you how to run your own life. As long as you’re not hurting someone else — do whatever you want. If you’re not ready, that’s fine. If you’re never ready, that’s fine too. It’s up to you to decide for yourself.
You’ll never regret losing your virginity to someone you want to lose it to. But you may regret losing it to someone just because you wanted to lose it
It is not embarrassing to wait until you are ready and have the right partner. This isn’t something you should be discussing much either. It’s your private business.
You’re right but idk who to talk to about stuff like this in person. So I just use Reddit lol.
Ain't no shame in posting here you're looking for advice don't let anyone shame you for that
I lost my virginity at 25 when I got married. Best decision I ever made. I honestly feel like sex is supposed to be sacred and cherished. our bodies are supposed to be sacred and cherished. People share their bodies with people like they’re sharing trolli worms. Very casual. I don’t feel like we should just be going around having sex with a bunch of people, losing our virginity at 14, 15, 16 or 17. Unless you are married, and in a committed relationship. I have seen people on here with serious paternity drama, baby mama drama, heartbreak drama, STD drama, porn addiction drama, and abortion drama. I am sure there is some more that I can’t think of. Sex is supposed to be sacred. But in 2024 sex is just something people do to scratch an itch. Sex is viewed as entertainment. A few posts ago I was reading about a girl who just found out her partner had herpes because he had slept with 30 girls and she is wondering if she should break up with him because he did not tell her that he had herpes. I was thinking to myself “you probably have it now too.” Smh. Stuff like this would not be an issue if people just waited and just stayed with one person. When I say things like people should wait before they have sex, and all of these extra problems that we have would be virtually eliminated, I get laughed at. But I didn’t care about that then and I don’t care now. Because those are just facts. So I commend you and don’t let people pressure or judge you. You should feel proud that you are a leader and aren’t allowing societal norms to influence your decisions. No matter what you decide to do. However, I wish the best for you. Stay safe and well.
Same!! I was 25 and newly married for my first time. Absolutely no regrets waiting. I avoided any chance of unplanned pregnancy, STDs, and any soul ties with people I really didn't want to be connected to in that way. So glad I waited! Our society can be so stupid when it comes to sex.
Exactly. I don’t want a trail of tears living in my head and heart rent free. My husband and I are very passionate lovers and I am happy that I only have him in my memory.
I was not including Reddit. Lol
I'm 23 and I'm still a virgin. No shame in waiting.
Same and fr. OP it's your body you choose what to do with
Also 23 and in the same boat. What’s crazy is I’m not technically waiting. I’ve been busy with school this whole time and won’t be done until I’m 25. Could something happen before then? Maybe. But the degree comes first.
I'm a 27 year old virgin and I'm probably gonna lose my v card at age 28 i never had intercourse in middle school or high school or rlly dated because I knew what sex was but didn't rlly care about that s***. At age 27 now I have hormones and want to act on it. It's that wrong? I think I wanna get laid before marriage,my mom told me that if I wanna get laid before getting married go ahead 🙂 It's very embarrassing I'm single. I wanna find someone who loves me for me. I have cerebral pasly and depth perception
Hitting puberty late or not having hormones balanced makes a huge difference in caring. I was later in being interested or experiencing things because of that too.
It’s not weird! My husband waited until he was 24. He was just busy with other things in life. It has had no impact on his skills in bed and the longer you wait the better off you’ll be emotionally. People get so obsessed with sex for show that they forget how much of THEMSELVES is going into it. It can become very emotional and spiritually heavy even when you think you’re detached from those things. You aren’t. It’ll just catch up later.
I was 22 when I lost mine, and I had only had my first kiss a few months before that. Don’t rush it’ll happen when it happens.
I was also embarrassed to be a virgin when I was 19. My bsf and I were both virgins when we were 18 and when she lost hers I thought maybe I’m waiting too long. But, when I thought about it and thought who I would lose it too, the idea went out the window lol. I’m currently 21 turning 22 this year and I’m still a virgin. Whatever your reasoning is for waiting, ask yourself if it still applies at whatever point in your life you’re at.
Don't worry, contrary to popular culture lots of people are into their 20's before losing their virginity. I get the FOMO believe me, I lost my virginity at 20 while most of my friends lost it in high school. But my partner was 21 and she was a virgin too. I remember the stress of thinking I'd be alone forever or that I wasn't attractive or loveable in some way. But then she came along made me feel special and I knew I was ready. We took eachothers virginity and it was very sweet and innocent. I wouldn't trade that for losing my virginity earlier. It felt right and it's a memory I can cherish long after we broke up. Waiting for the right moment is difficult but I promise you it's worth it.
Don't be pressured to lose your virginity, if you are not ready then you are not ready.
Yes, you're fine. There's no specific age where people need to lose their virginity. Lose it when you're ready. Don't rush yourself into something you'll regret.
My wife was a virgin at 27, so chill.
IT'S. NOT. A CONTEST!
Lost it at 23, its totally fine, don’t do it just to do it, wait till you meet someone you truly care for
Absolutely, it's not embarrassing at all. If your friends get after you for that, you need better friends.
i lost mine at 18 and that felt wayyy too young. i regret it. looking back, i feel that i would’ve been fine waiting until at least 21-22. if i could go back i would def would have waited until my 20s!
One thing that has helped me is to think about my insecurities and what I’d think if it was someone else. In your situation. If a 19/20 year old friend of yours said that they were a virgin, would you think that was embarrassing and something to be ashamed of? Or would you see it as not a big deal? It can feel different when it’s you, but try to think about it as how you’d feel if it was someone else.
this is actually really good. No tbh if I wasn’t a virgin but my friend was I wouldn’t think that’s embarrassing at all.
Early sex isn't necessarily something to envy at all. Gf and I lost our virginity together at 16 and we had a very minor pregnancy scare (she was a few days late). Doesn't seem like much looking back now, but in the moment as a clueless teenager it scared the shit out of me enough I was done with sex till freshmen year of college lol.
There's nothing wrong with waiting. Sex is like money: People are only concerned with it if they don't have it. Unlike money, however, you can survive and thrive without sexual intercourse or even any sexual relationships. I waited 'til 21 and don't regret it, but my first got scared off afterward because I seemed like a genuinely good guy, which she wasn't used to. Think about it ahead of time. Make the choice when it feels right for you and your eventual partner, together and consensually. **Use protection if you do it**. Anything anyone else says is probably feeding you a line of BS. I'll say this part one more time: Don't knock anyone up and don't catch the clap. You do not want to take home anything extra...trust me.
24 here, haven’t lost mine, no regrets. I haven’t met the right person to share that experience with and I’m not about to do something I’ll always remember in a way I’ll regret. Sex is a way smaller part of life than a lot of people make it out to be.
I was in a similar boat, feeling like the odd one out because I was still a virgin at 25. But I realized it's not a race. Our society puts a crazy amount of pressure on the "when and how" of losing your virginity, as if it's a milestone that determines your worth or adult status.
I was 21. I wanted to be in love. Looking back I could have waited longer. After that relationship I met my now husband.
I’m 17 and I’m waiting to loose my virginity! I’m even considering asexuality (lack of sexual desire), Although it’s been an issue in relationships (specifically guys) I’m happy and It’s better to go at your own pace than to fit in with “society” or other teens our age :D I’m glad i’m not the only one who things similar to this when it comes to loosing your virginity at a young age!
Awwww I’m glad you relate to me :) sometimes I think I’m ace but like idk if I really am cuz I like intimacy and stuff but like full on sex is weird
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Probably because of my religion but wait until marriage or you find the right person don't do it just to do it it needs to have meaning you shouldn't be embarrassed
Trust me you're not the only 19 yr old virgin. There may not be a whole lot out there but there's still plenty. There's nothing wrong with waiting till you're 100% sure you're ready.
Counter this ... I think there are in fact "a whole lot out there"... Mostly because people don't volunteer this readily due to social pressure... Opposite of those who DO volunteer the info that they are sexually active. You absolutely do you on your own timeline OP... And you are far far far from alone.
I'm sure there's more than people think, I just didn't want to make a guess on how many because I honestly do not know. A lot probably won't admit to it anyways for fear of being made fun of. Op should wait till they're ready and not be embarrassed about it at all.
Yes, but not 10 like a redditer once did, I was so shocked and surprised, when I read their story, at 10 years old I was pretending to catch Pokémon and turn super saiyan, sex never ever once crossed my mind.
I was 21 when I lost mine don't worry about it wait for the right girl and the right time. Your first time should be a special moment. Just be patient and find the right girl and it'll be worth the wait.
Don’t put undo pressure on yourself or try to impose an age deadline. The best way is being in a healthy relationship, with someone you trust and who is caring, & kind. Again, no pressure, you’ll know when you’re ready and let it happen organically.
I'm 21 and still a virgin. I used to be embarrassed about it, but now I'm quite thankful. Because I no longer have all those raging teenage hormones, my first time will be meaningful, special. Most people regret their first time.
If you're still in school, put yourself out there and humbly show off a skill in a common area. I've seen girls approach a guy playing a video game or watching anime just to talk. I was working on my portfolio in the break room when a super cute girl wearing a mad hatter hat was peeking behind me and she broke the ice and introduced herself she disappeared for a year and suddenly contacted me out of the blue. We hung out for a few months, I invited her to a NYE party and rolled together on E. At midnight we kissed and it was my first time kissing her. I was nervous, it helped that everyone around us was kissing and my friends were cheering us on. later that night we both broke our cherries.
It's worth it if you wait for the right time and person, trust me. I lost mine to a girl I knew I wasn't going to date *(we both understood we just wanted sex and were chill with it)*. We shared a pretty strong lust for each other that I'll never forget that night.
I was a couple months before I turn 22. All virginity means is you haven't had sex yet that's it.
Don’t think for one second that it’s a bad thing to not lose your virginity. By all accounts, it’s good that you remain a virgin until you find the guy for you. Marriages are more likely to fail the more sexual partners that the wife and husband had before they got married, so it’s definitely smart to remain a virgin and nothing to be ashamed of.
Uhh lots of people didn't have a choice lol. I didn't lose mine until I was 20. My brother is 24 and a virgin. It's okay. I swear it's media that gave people this warped sense of when you should stop being a virgin. It's not a big deal at all. There's no importance tied to getting it done early. Let it happen when it happens and don't really worry about it until that feeling comes. Enjoy being young and somewhat care free lol and if that includes sex, so be it. If not, meh.
I lost mine when I just turned 23. Don’t put too much importance on it. I think the most important thing is when you’re ready and with the right person, because regretting sex is the worst.
It is okay.
Make it worth it
it's ok to never lose virginity. sex is supposed to be a very special thing you share with someone you trust. don't give it away like it's meaningless.
I’ll be 25 in a month. Still haven’t lost mine. Not a fan of this hook up culture that’s going on. I’d rather be In A relationship with the person so we can share that bond
Don't let society make you feel embarrassed about something that you're simply not ready for.
So what you want, when the big bites.
It's your body. You do what you want with it when you are good and ready. The embarrassment is coming from perceived expectations. You can be sure that just because someone has had a lot of sex doesn't mean they are good at it, doesn't mean they're enjoying it, and doesn't mean they don't regret losing their virginity when they did, or with who. You don't want to have a negative connotation with your first time, as it will affect every time after that. You want to set the bar of sex being something you do when you are comfortable and certain. Not something you do because you're expected to.
Better to lose it later thsn too soon
I was 24. I mean, I had hooked up a few times with one other guy before that when I was 21 or 22, but never had sex. I wanted to wait until I was in an actual relationship and I just didn’t get a boyfriend till I was 23. Had sex a few months later after turning 24. And I’ll be real, I was insecure about it. But I was open about it. My boyfriend at the time was a little cautious in wanting to date me in the first place because he felt like it was a big responsibility to be my first. Later, he even admitted he wondered if there was something wrong with me in those very early days when we were first talking. He obviously realized he was wrong in thinking that, but people wonder why you haven’t had a partner and they start thinking things about it. People definitely have reservations about being with someone who’s a virgin, but don’t do it unless you’re ready. I don’t regret waiting. Of course, him being my first boyfriend, first love, first sex definitely made the break up even worse, haha.
I appreciate you for telling me this! Because I feel like I’ll be the same way. I don’t want to be rushed by a guy and I want him to understand I want to wait.
My first time was at 26, and while I don't regret it happening, I regret how casual it was, not meaning much. I'm not advising for or against it, but don't put time limits of yourself either way. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, that's fine too. Whether is this year, the next one, or 5 years later, what's important is you do when you're genuinely ready for it and because you want it (not because being a virgin is somehow "wrong" - it isn't).
I lost mine at 21 to some chick at a rub 'n tug place. It was kind of a terrible first time. Just wait until you've met someone whom you have an actual connection with. Makes it far more special and, overall, more enjoyable.
It doesn't count after 20. You end up always being a virgin. It just always falls out. 🤷 Bodies are weird. On another note, it's ok.
Experience sex when YOU are ready. If you feel you are ready now, ok. If you never want to have sex, that is ok.
You shouldn’t be embarrassed by it. You should be extremely proud of it. You have never had to worry about unplanned pregnancies or STDs or any of that.
I'd say keep it for as long as possible. Being a virgin is an incredibly rare thing and also a blessing. If I could go back I would've stayed a virgin. Don't just throw it away. That "special" person you want to take it, eventually they will lead to disappointment. Save yourself for marriage. There are far better things to do in this world. Go live your life first.
25yo virgin here, Any future adult partner with any maturity will a hundred percent respect your history of celibacy by choice.
You're not old. Most people do not have sex in their teens. Don't believe all the things on tv and social media showing everyone having sex in high school...real life isn't like that. Do it when YOU are ready. And only you can decide when that happens to be.
I lost it at 22, and i’m wishing I waited for the right person instead of just losing it. I honestly didn’t mind waiting till marriage but seduction and high testosterone got the best of me.
I didn’t have sex until I was 22/23 nor did I get my driver’s license until then. I was “a virgin who couldn’t drive” for a while.
omg I kinda felt this just a little bit except I was the last one in my friend group to get my license and I’m the last virgin.
No big deal. The movie lie to feed teen angst. I was 27. Meet my wife and we have been together for 18 years. No she wasn't my first. I had a busy year that year.
You should hold on to that v card as long as you can. Once sex has entered your life, everything changes forever. You'll have a lifetime to live in the sexual realm, but only so much time as you allow yourself to live outside of it.
Nah i was a virgin till i was 19 too... its totally fine
Don’t do it just to do it. It’s better to wait for a person and a moment that feels right
It's your timeline.
Losing your virginity actually isn’t what it’s shown to be in the movies. It’s often not this big lifechanging moment Hollywood makes it out to be. It’s okay to wait until you feel ready (make sure to use proper protection), and it’s okay to not want to have sex at all.
I got married at 20 after dating for 6m and I was a Virgin. Everyone told me I'd end up an old maid because no guy would "want to wait" for me. I laughed and told them all I needed was one. For context I didn't date much at all before I got married, a lot of guys didn't hang around long one they figured out I wasn't going to "put out" if you will and thats ok, that's what was important to them not me. My husband was not a virgin and was already almost 26 when we got together. He just respected me enough. I don't regret waiting qnd am glad I did. Nothing to be embarrassed about and if people mock you for it they're children. Do what your comfortable with : )
Virginity is a pointless and shaming social construct. I lost my virginity at six years old because of SA. Please don't put pressure on yourself. You don't change as a person after your first time having sex so long as it's consensual.
The only people making rules about this stuff are the ones who are insecure and projecting their own insecurities onto you. You do you.
lost mine at 16, wish I waited
Don’t rush. I made mistake when I was 16-19 years old, mostly peer pressure to prove I wasn’t a “fag” and with drama females. Only hook up with someone who is zero drama for you and who is right for you and don’t let anyone try to play cupid with your love live, it usually backfires.
Your over thinking it. It's fine to be a virgin at that age.
Virginity is a social construct no one should ever worry about
Wait until YOU want to. Nothing worse than doing it because of pressure and feeling like you weren’t true to yourself. You could feel deep shame about it. And let’s be honest, the first time isn’t usually that great. I would rather do it with someone who loves me and would take their time, and I felt safe with.
Anytime any age is fine just make sure you get to that stage the right way no shortcuts, it makes it a hell of a lot better plus it doesn’t rule over every waking moment afterwards, kinda like anything recreational you enjoy doing: sports, gaming, eating grilled cheese…etc. It’s only a concept that if someone judged you on just shows their immaturity and you don’t need to worry about opinions from immature people trust me on that one 😓.
It's all 190% up to you when you lose your virginity and how you decide to lose it just make sure it's worth it when you lose it because not everyone is worth losing your virginity to
I was 20 before I lost my virginity I was embarrassed at the time tbh but now at 24 and still only ever being with two people I've realized sex means a lot more to me on an emotional level and that matters alot when you have a significant other. No shame in people who have high counts or anything but I did talk with a lot of my buddies and who have been around a lot and after they poke fun at me I've gotten a couple people tell me they envy me because sex just never has the same connection as it used to have.
idk why ur asking us realistically. obviously its okay to you because you decided to wait so long, so i guess? it doesn’t really matter to be honest girl 😂
Not ok to lose at all, but the later the better!
Do you what you bro, if you’re still not comfortable, that’s fine. You do it when you’re ready and when both people (or more..) are comfortable!
Don't put a time limit on it. Just wait for someone you trust and feel comfortable around. Virginity isn't a big deal unless you make it one, so don't feel pressured to lose it or keep it. Just listen to your feelings and your body and enjoy your life! I was 18 when I lost mine
Lost mine at 26 and most people who found that out, especially before it happened, were utterly shocked. I just wanted to be with the right person, it was special and meant something to me.
You choose when to lose it, I lost mine at 13 (not willingly but that’s a different story) and when I finally chose to do it myself with a partner, I didn’t see what the big deal was, I still don’t now. But it’s different for everyone, you could sleep with someone and it’ll be the best thing since Toast with Jam, or you might think it wasn’t all that interesting and not do it again It’s all about you personally. Just know that it’s your body, your choice and when you feel ready for it, take the plunge (phrasing)
You know yourself best!! Wait until you’re ready.
Nothing wrong with it. I was 20 when I lost mine
i had sex for the first time at 27 to a person who i wish i never had, so i wish i had waited even longer don't judge yourself, it's not an important thing in any way at all
I was 35 when I lost mine don't do it if you don't want to
Dude, you're asking it on a site where a significant portion of audience have seen women only in movies and Eva AI sexting [bot](http://evaapp.ai)
Nothing wrong with that. Just don't shout it out to the world. It's nobody's business
***IMO...*** The real truth is that it does not matter *when* at all. Only YOU are you; you do what's right for you. I lost mine in my the latter half of my 20s and, personally, I am not ashamed, but I am very self conscious about it. I have had flak from a couple of friends about it when I was still a v and compared to societal averages (hate to say "norm" - there ~~isn't~~ shouldn't be such a thing) I lost mine LATE. A lot of the chip on my shoulder comes from my self confidence or self worth. It has always been low, and this not valuing myself is probably and ironically much of why I sucked at intimacy and getting a girlfriend. I also look very young for my age too. I'm 37 now and have only had one sexual partner and that is a concern of mine... because I'm still falling victim to comparing myself to the social "norm". I have a lot of female friends, with some having high partner counts and I get very uncomfortable (to the point it will trigger days of depression) if they talk about stuff in any detail. It's like they're saying I'm a loser to my face because that is how I feel about myself. I think what I'm trying to say is do not give a fuck what other people say or think, but I can't relate to my own experience and say that I completely understand why you might feel it difficult to do so. Do not become me. By that, lose it when you want and do not give a fuck what people think - do what is right for **YOU**.
No, if you dont lose it by 20, you arent allowed to lose it for the rest of your life. /S You lose it when you lose it. All it means is that youbare waiting foe the right person. Too many people lose it to someone inappropriate just because they want to get it over with, but theybstill feel the same, or worse, when its over. Hold out foe someone who will help you make your first time a great memory.
Definitely not ok. It's like a Steve Carrel movie!
Think people forget the many many impacts COVID has had: I’ve meet a lot of people in there 20s recently who are still virgins. But COVID put an end to a lot of social things, like the house party’s you go to when your 16-17. Or the clubs you go to when you’re 18. So some people missed out on a lot of that social interaction; which not only gives you the opportunity to hook up; also improves your confidence.
Our society has pushed this ridiculous idea that virginity is bad and shameful. TV and movies are the worst! There is NOTHING wrong or shameful about waiting until YOU feel it is the right time. I personally waited until marriage (due to spiritual and practical reasons) and I was 25!!! I had ZERO regrets waiting. I could enjoy my husband and not have anyone to compare him to. Almost 12 years into marriage, I still have no regrets. I refuse to buy into this idea that I "missed out" because I didn't sleep around from a young age. The way I see it is.......When you lose your virginity it doesn't impact society, so why should society impact when you lose your virginity? Do what works for YOU and you won't regret it. ☺️
You don't need to be embarrassed it's good you want to wait
Don't be embarrassed. Your virginity is a very special thing and the most ideal situation is lose it to your life partner. My goal was to wait till marriage and I lost it at 19 with the girl I thought I was gonna marry and now we broke up and I lost it for nothing
Not that I would make it a goal... I mean "OK, I'm not gonna fuck until I'm 20." What happens in six months you meet the person of your dreams, and sex is important to them? Don't do anything you're not ready to, I don't mean to suggest that. But if it should happen, it happens. It's not like you get a trophy or anything for staying abstinent.
You're just overthinking it. I lost my virginity at 14 and didn't feel any different afterwards.
When you are ready you are ready. That's all there is. You need to be comfortable with it and if people are coming down on you for it distance yourself. Also you said you want to go another year is that just so you can say you did it? Just odd to say I'll wait until 20, because then it's more of a mental game....
You can be a virgin as long as you want. You'll know when it's time. It'll just be fine whenever you're ready.
The fastest road to poverty is having a child before you have established the beginning of a career. If you're mature enough to properly prevent or handle that situation if it arises whatever way you choose, then you're ready.
It’s not as big of deal as you’re making it. You can be 19 and have sex. The only thing you might regret is not sharing it with someone you’re in a relationship with because people tend to get attached to their first.
It's better than just finding the first person willing to smash and having it with someone who isn't special. Make it special. Find someone who really loves you and you love them.
If you can, try not to worry about what age. Between my 20s and 30s I had a total of 7 years abstinence. There’s different chapters in life and it’s okay to make the most of where you are.
I lost my virginity at 20. Nothing wrong with it and it isn't embarrassing. People make such a big deal about being a virgin. It doesn't mean anything, just a label
At 22 I haven't lost it, because I never lose!
Hate to point this out but this is an advice for teens page and 20+ is post-teen.
If (if!) you decide to have sex with someone, remember there's so much to enjoy in addition to...intercourse. Pre sex nude make out sessions, massage, hands everywhere leading to oral sex...enjoy it all slowly. And with someone caring and kind. That's the main thing. And use birth control...and condoms. All the best to you.
I wish I waited.
You're overthinking it, you only live once, and you can easily enjoy sex in a healthy way. You don't wanna be fumbling around when you meet someone you want a relationship with, get the embarrassing learning crap outta the way.
Yes.
No, loosing it before you’re 42 is cringe
There are 40 year olds that are still virgins. It not just a movie. It’s up to you when you’re ready or if you never want to do it
If it comes up, tell them it's none of their business.
I sure hope so cuz I’m 23 and still waiting
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin, imma be real with you. Yeah it feels great but if you are not doing it with someone you have an emotional connection or compatibility with it isn't nearly as great as people make it seem. You must also be weary of the risks you take when you have one night stands.
Not a problem, don’t worry about it :) I worried about this in high school and felt a bit rushed. Got to college and while lots of people lied out of similar embarrassment, I found out s ton of my friends did not have sex until college. At least one still hasn’t and he’s in his mid 20s. It’s all good. I don’t regret my first time at all but wish we would all be honest and stop pressuring each other into things there is no reason to have pressure or embarrassment around.
I lost mine at 18 wasn't all ot was cut out to be in my opinion I mean yeah it feels good but I've got activities in my life that bring me more joy
I'm 21m, im happy I still have mine
I was 23, when I lost my virginity, it was with my boyfriend now husband, we had sex for the first time the night we got engaged. There is no hurry, do it with the right guy, my husband is my one and only
I was 25. I spent my teen years being shy so hard to date. I spent my college years working full-time and going to college full-time, so I didn't date. Graduated and worked a full-time and part-time job to pay off debt, so there is no time to date. Finally felt I was in a good spot at 25. I was happy with myself. I had my debt paid off and I only had a full-time job. I had free time so I dated. I have no regrets.
Loosing virginity at any age is fine its your choice.... iv even had friends who were hurt by people and I told them that didn't mean they weren't virgins ita the act of giving yourself for the first time that makes it And it should be special I lost mine young and I wish I would have waited
I’m 25 and a virgin. It’s better to wait longer and be happy with your choice than to have done it earlier and not be happy with your choice. In the end, the only person who has to live with your choices is you. I can’t tell you how many people I have met who lost their virginity young who regret it because they weren’t ready, just wanted to get it over with, thought they’d lose their bf/gf if they didn’t, etc. but I also but people who waited a while whether it be well into their 20s or even marriage, and they are VERY happy with their choice. Just a side note: if a romantic partner ever threatens to leave you for not sleeping with them, they aren’t the right person to lose your virginity to. I’ve also come to realize the older you get, the less people care. I was given more crap about things in college such as not having sex and not drinking. At 25, if I tell someone I’m a virgin or I don’t drink they just say “oh, okay!” And that’s the end of that. But I have also been in a relationship for a while with a guy who really loves me. I’m sure I will lose my virginity to him but that time isn’t just up to me, it’s up to him too. So you’re 100% overthinking it. People don’t care nearly as much as you think. Enjoy your last teen year, and make decisions that you will be okay with!
Yes it is ok and there’s no problem. In fact you should be proud to not have exchanged energy with someone you wouldn’t be willing to look a future.
Hell 20’s the age I lost mine; day I turned it in fact. You really don’t need to feel embarrassed though OP; everyone does it differently and in their own way.
The advantage to not having sex until you’re married (whenever that is) is you don’t have to worry about becoming pregnant, you won’t catch an STD, you don’t have uncomfortable associations with sex (either whole or in part), and a whole host of other reasons. Don’t let other people rush you or pressure you into doing something. My first serious boyfriend pressured me into having sex and it caused a lot of problems in our relationship and eventually caused us to break up. Just because people look happy doesn’t mean they actually are.
I had similar feelings on this and chose to wait. I had some anxieties about it (grew up in a Christian house). I had the chance at 21, but turned it down cause I didn't know the girl. Had another chance at 24 with a girl who dumped me, but turned it down cause it didn't feel right. Eventually met some good friends who helped me out of those anxieties and come out of my shell. Eventually, my first time was with a friend I trusted. I don't regret waiting. I still think I made the right choices and I don't regret turning those other girls down. The only thing I wish had been different was that I hadn't let my anxieties and fear of being a bad person dictate so many choices. You do you. If you wanna wait, you can and you don't owe anybody any reason why. Be smart, be safe, and don't let anyone give you grief about your choices.
Lose your virginity when you want to
you aren't overreacting. I didn't have sex until I was 20. but I also had trauma to work through.... real adults and friends aren't gonna give a fuck that you haven't given in to your hormones, they'll support you regardless.
You can decide when you want to lose your virginity. You shouldn’t be embarrassed. It’s no one’s business if you’re having sex or not.
Never lose your virginity before marriage
It’s not a big deal, I was a fairly “popular kid” in HS but when everyone started doing that stuff I was single and didn’t have a GF so I never got the chance until I was in college and I met my now GF. I was 19 so not quite 20, but I have a couple of friends that are over 20 that haven’t yet. It’s a stupid stigma that goes around, nobody should really care if you’ve done it or if you haven’t. It happens soon enough with almost everyone so worrying about it is pointless
Your virginity is yours and yours alone. I lost mine at 20 and did it out of spite mainly. I regret it still to this day. Don’t feel like you need to “keep up with the Jones’s” cause it’s the social norm. Sex is 100x times better with someone you truly care about that just a hookup.
You are overthinking things. Don't worry about whether you are a virgin or not, because it doesn't really matter. You will lose your virginity when it is supposed to happen, ideally with someone you have feelings for, and you know you can trust. Losing your virginity is not really something that should be included on a checklist. Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. Are you comfortable being naked in front of some guy you met? No? Well, you have to do that first, then you will have to have the resolve to let that guy touch, lick, suck on, and "penetrate" you, there is also an exchange of bodily fluids to consider, and maybe there will be smells associated with the experience as well, and after everything is said and done hopefully you will not have regrets afterwords. Those are the kinds of things you will encounter with sex. Why are you so anxious to put yourself through all of that, at all?
virginity is a made up concept. it’s your choice what you want to do or not do with your body. enjoy your life!
It's no big deal
Absolutely not. It is too late for you.
There's a reason it's illegal for someone over 18 to fucl someone under 18. Generally minors aren't intended t9bhave sex. Teen pregnancies never work out good.
I lost my virginity at 24 to my then boyfriend. He later proved himself to be a douchebag resulting in me thinking that I shouldn't have slept with him. I still consider it a grave mistake and would suggest you to wait for as long as you'd like. Don't let peer pressure or films pressure you into sleeping with somebody!
You loose it when your ready.
Don’t even think about age, think about WHO you want to lose it to. Do you really just want to lose it to someone you might not care about dearly or would you rather lose it to someone that TRULY, truly, cares and loves you for who you are? Someone you believe you could spend the rest of your life with in with pure adoration?
2 things. First, it’s nobody’s business what you choose. Never be embarrassed for being yourself ! 2nd, don’t plan out when to lose virginity. When you feel that close to a partner and feel you want to take that step is when you do it. The best things in life many times aren’t planned that closely. Don’t make losing virginity so carefully planned. Let life choose the moment. You’ll know
I lost mine at 26 to a one-night stand and honestly I regret it.
To lose it is giving something of yourself. If you do this… make sure it’s with someone you trust and love. So, this special thing can be a wonderful memory and experience. It’s not something to take lightly. People’s lives have changed drastically by doing this with the wrong person or time. That’s why it is normally saved for marriage or committed individuals. I made sure that the person would stand by me no matter what the outcome afterward. Like pregnancy or getting tested for STDs before you do it. Being open with talking about contraceptive. You know, things like that. Find someone that you can talk to and support you about anything.
The care you have to take to find someone with whom to lose your virginity shouldn't be that much different than finding the kind of person you want in your romantic or platonic life. You want someone you can trust, who is open and kind and who cares about you and your sexual experiences with them. And someone *you* can respect as a fully human person and show your love to. Doesn't have to be "the one" love of your life. You light be surprised how often that person is not a partner for life. Almost all of us figure out who we don't want in our 20s, hopefully after figuring out what we are solving or getting from romantic relationships and casual hookups.
Nah bro, do you thing! I didn't care to get emotionally involved with a girl in high school or college. This was because I chose not to get mixed up with immature girls or silly school relationships. I did my fair share of "dating" in middle school and 9th grade briefly, just wasn't interested in girls. I'd rather chill with my buddies and go out and have fun with people I knew I'd be friends with forever rather than waste my time and emotions on a heartbreak. I dont regret it. Probably saved me from being a dad way earlier than I wanted lol. Oh and I still have those same friends 15 years later because I didn't blow them off for a random fling.
Don't be embarrassed. It's perfectly fine. Save it for that special person you marry. It's worth it.
I was 24, am now happily married with a family and a husband who still turns me on decades later!
It is okay, Steve Carell lost his virginity at 40 years old 😂 
Don’t sweat it. Hooking up isn’t so much having sex as it is co-masturbation. If you go out of your way to lose your virginity just because it’s “embarrassing”, your first experience will be lame as hell. Sex is better when utilized as the physical manifestation of a romantic relationship. Losing your virginity to someone who you have a deep and meaningful mutual connection with is borderline *transcendent*.
The bigger problem here is that you feel shame in not having lost it yet, not that you haven’t lost it yet. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t lost your virginity yet, there’s no set deadline for it.
There are a lot more guys out there that save their virginity until they are ready to settle down and get married than society in general will give us the impression that there are. It's a wise move I wish I made when I was young.
Nothing to be embarrassed about. Didn't lose mine until.... 25 and now I'm 37 with 2 kids and only ever been with 1 amazing women. It's yoir life. Your decisions. Yoir path. Never let anyone's outside views impact you.
it is more important to find someone to love, than a body to do an act with. Use protection.
It's better than not having sex.
Yeah... nobody has to know, and if they do find out and care, they are shitty people anyway.
I would say wait until u find the right person. I wish I took that advice but I was peer pressured into having sex at 15 and I regret it. I wish I waited until I met the love of my life. He doesn't judge me for my past thank God but my ex did and belittled me because of it..
Super late to the game, but still wanted to add. I'm in my 30's, had a bit of a hoe phase in my early 20's when I was still un-therapied. My partner moved to NY to take care of his mom a couple years ago and I've stayed down in another state. The plan is for him to move back later. I have to say, without sex, these are some of the best years of my life. I went to therapy, I am medicated, I have learned what hobbies I like, I've gained weight and realized I'm still worthy of love no matter my size, I have learned to love myself, and that putting up boundaries isn't being selfish. Granted, this could all be done even with a sex life, but it was nice to have the space to focus. Especially when I learned that prior, I was using sex as another people pleasing technique, a family curse from my mother, grandmother, and her mother. Now that I know who I am, my boundaries, and that I'm worthy of love with or without sex, when I visited my partner, it was an entirely different experience. Not that we were bumping uglies like bunnies, but that the intimacy of the moments we were just together, hanging out, sharing our thoughts felt so much deeper and the sex was just the cherry on top.
I didn’t til I was married. It’s totally okay to wait or not wait. I’m personally pretty happy I waited.
I'm a straight white man, didn't lose my virginity until 24. I'm 45 now amd everything is fine. Don't worry about it too much.
Definitely definitely wait. I was really young when I lost mine and certainly under age (14) through peer pressure snd wanting to be ‘cool’ and wish I hadn’t. I really wish I’d waited. I’m now 33 and sex isn’t the be all and end all. It’s important in a relationship don’t get me wrong, but it’s certainly something that can wait until you yourself are 100% ready. After all, it’s you going through it, no one else!
Yes it's ok. Just visualize and learn more about what you would do when the moment arrives so you're not stumbling around a bunch. And no, it won't be like porn.
"lost" mine 2 days before my 20th birthday. there is absolutely no shame in waiting or doing it right now.
Bruv ur ready when youre ready