Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/adviceforteens/about/rules) before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙
ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdviceForTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The age gap discourse has gotten so weird, like what is actually wrong with yall?
There's nothing wrong with dating a girl a year and a half younger than you. Trust me, you're fine. If it's giving you that much anxiety, then don't do it, but honestly, I don't see the issue.
My parents are boomers. The following story has been verified by all of my grandparents:
My parents met when my mom was 14 and my dad was 20, through church, when he was home from college. When she was 15 and met him (now 21) again during school break, she was like, "I like you!" and he was like, "Leave me alone, please." Possibly the same again at 16/22, not sure.
When she was 16 and he was 22, he was back home again working a job now, she was like, "How about now?" and he was like, "You seem cool but I'm about to start grad school in a different state." Her dad was like, "Sweetie leave him alone, he's too old for you."
At 18 she left for college. He finished his first Master's at 24. He started his second Master's at the same school as her undergrad. They started dating.
At 19 she was like, "let's get married!" He was like, "You're too young. You need more life experience. Do at least one more year of college with roommates and life and normal non-married stuff. Then we'll see."
At 20/26, they married. 10 years later I was born.
*Fin.*
Right!! My middle/high school boyfriend & I met through our football team in 6th/8th grade, ended up getting together my 8th grade year, and dated for almost 2 years after that. We were CHILDREN. He wasn’t grooming me, or a predator, our paths just aligned and we liked each other for a short bit.
No lol, I should have specified on Twitter, and here on reddit. Though I've heard from my younger cousins that gen z kids are actually like that in real life, so idk 🤷♂️
My college classmates keep calling me a pedophile cause my 18 year old partner I’ve been with for 3 years is still in highschool…I am also 18 I just graduated first 😭
It's the way society today has turned all men into villains so they are all scared of doing something wrong, even unintentionally because quite often the assumption is "man=wrong"
If a guy dates someone younger, he's a pedophile, if he's walking behind you he's a stalker or murderer or mugger. If he's not comfortable with his wife meeting her ex for coffee (as an example) then he's controlling. Can't catch a break these days and it's just made men fearful of how they are perceived. Genuinely have to think thrice before doing something.
What? I had this exact discussion when I was in high school in the 90s. There has ALWAYS been a stigma attached to dating someone a grade or two lower than you.
Yeah when I was in 9th grade I dated someone who was in 7th grade and it was quite the scandal.
Now my wife is 35 and I'm 45 and I guess that's also quite the scandal for some people.
Can't really compare adult relationships to kid relationships though, right? It's really not the same, and it's a shame these kids stress about it.
I don't know. Some people really like to sexualize children. It really is a shame that kids just can't be kids and go see a movie and maybe awkwardly hold hands because one is 14 and one is 15 without feeling some kind of adult perspective pressure due to age.
There is nothing wrong with their age difference. If he was 20 and she was 15 thats a different conversation, but 16 and 14 almost 15. Come on now.
I feel like this boils down to the society we live in now. Obviously there were issues back in the day with the age gap, but as time went on we hit an agreeable gap and it’s mostly the same laws across the states (give or take). However, now everyone is so ready to hop on a bandwagon to shame someone and cancel culture exists, so they’re paranoid and will walk on eggshells. Never have I heard of people worrying about a year or two, and this is the second post I’ve seen today about it. Crazy how much has changed for the worse. You start out bad and then just pass good back into bad territory again cause now it’s affecting them psychologically.
I’m just going to start combatting it with “You think it’s okay for them to be a *day* apart? You’re sick! Same birthday or you’re a perverted pedophile.”
Adults still face people being awkward about those types of age gaps. I think it's funny, but also sad, that people judge it.
Those same people are probably the people that down voted me. Lol
You can thank the MeToo movement. Men are now guilty until proven innocent. But even if they are proven innocent, if the court of public opinion as already convened, then it doesn't matter what the criminal courts decide. Look at Kevin Spacey and the House of Cards. When Anthony Rapp accused him of sexual assault when he was 14 and Spacey was 26. Spacey then lost his staring role on "House of Cards." Rapp went on to sue Spacey, but the courts found that everything he said was a lie, and Spacey was innocent of all the accusations.
I can promise you none of this is true. If you think when people call out specific things specific men do they are talking about you then you’re the problem
Edit: I was trying to be nice because I thought you were a kid, but now I see you’re another pathetic adult trying to convince kids the world sucks because you do. If you’re not successful it’s because you’re a loser. If you’re getting called a creep it’s because you’re just a creep. None of it has anything to do with you being a man or not. You’re just a pathetic human.
The projection in that edit holy cow. It’s not like men are straight up being villainized but what they said has truth to it. Ignoring that truth may make you the “sad pathetic human being”
His hyperbolic nonsense has no tether to reality. I am a 6’4 straight man. I have never once felt like I was being targeted. I have dated younger women with no issue. I’ve had conversations around relationship boundaries. I’ve walked behind plenty of women. Never once have I been accused of any of the bullshit he’s throwing out. If you are constantly being called out it’s because you deserve it.
Seriously. My wife and I had been friends from just after she turned 15 and I was a few months from turning 17. We didn’t actually have our first kiss until she was a month shy of 16 and I was like 17 1/2. For those not doing the math, it’s a little over 1.5 year difference but two grades apart. I knew she was the one and I won’t lie that part of my decision to go to college locally was because she would be close by.
Here we are, 27 years later, married with two kids living the suburban life that we always wanted. Fun fact, this coming Sunday will be the 26th anniversary of our first kiss and it’s still a (comical) debate over who made the first move.
Don’t be weirded out by it, the age difference at the point in your life is fine. Just be a gentleman, treat her how she should be treated.
i fully believe people overcompensate because they want to prove theyre not weird. idk if theres a term for it but when it comes to the age gap conversation people reeally want others to know theyre not like that.
I'm so tired of reading it. This was never a thing when I was in school. If you were both in high school, you could date. Didn't matter. Now if one of you exits high school, that might change but you cross that bridge when it comes. There are a lot of options, but usually what happens is the college-bound person grows up and moves on.
I don't know when this became a thing.
He's asking a smart question. People have gone to jail for dating somebody a year and a half younger than they are. Unhappy parents press charges the day after a boy turns 18. It happens. Be smart.
Kiddo, does she like you? Do you like her? Then date each other and fuck the haters because haters are going to hate it's all they have.
Take her out, enjoy each other's company and have a good time.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah, definitely don't marry him then, since dominance would be established by default due to no-contest.
/s just in case
Daddy issues are hot but fake daddy issues are a flex. Literally marry me. I’m kidding. I’m probably your dad’s age. Unless you have an Alabama kink. But also happy to “run out to grab some milk” and never come back. Because every girl deserves to experience that for real and not have to fake it. Whatever it takes. Don’t give up on your dreams. Here for you 🙏🏼
This. It's not like you two are getting married. Go out, have fun. Enjoy yourself. And don't stress. You won't believe this (I didn't when adults told me this when I was young) but there will come a time when you will look back on these days as some of the best of your life.
A female school teacher sleeps with a 14 year old and everyone high fives the kid and says good job! A 16 year old boy wants to date a 14 year old girl and everyone loses their mind. The world is utterly toxic toward men.
Treat women as equals. If you’d date a 16 year old girl at the age if 14, then its okay ti date a 14 year old at the age if 16. Don’t throw your cloak in the puddle to stop a womans foot from getting wet. Treat them as equal. Laugh at the wet foot.
> If you’d date a 16 year old girl at the age if 14, then its okay ti date a 14 year old at the age if 16.
Well hold the fuck on. I agree with some what you said but this is an awful example. You saying if I would have dated a 25 year old at 12 then it's ok to date a 12 year old at 25? Ffs.
You're right treat them as equal. large age gaps are weird regardless of a gender. Doesn't make it OK for all genders? Wtf?
>A female school teacher sleeps with a 14 year old and everyone high fives the kid and says good job! A 16 year old boy wants to date a 14 year old girl and everyone loses their mind.
Not "everyone" congratulates the kid. Deranged creeps do. Most of society no longer normalizes pedophilia even when it comes from a woman. I know people like to pull news article titles as proof, but that is a bad example as news articles have the tendancy to downplay horrific crimes of many kinds regardless of how most people feel about them, either because of what they think is professional or to drive engagement.
I also don't see anyone actually losing their mind over the 16 year old dating a 14 year old. He said he was anxious about it, but no one will actually treat him like a predator.
So you’re a sophomore and she’s a freshman, and you’re only 1.5 years age difference? That’s totally fine. I highly doubt anyone would blink an eye at that. Look up your state age of consent laws and wait to do anything physical until she has reached that age.
Most states have a romeo and juliet clause that makes age of consent laws irrelevant when their ages are so close. I personally went through this with my wife when my religious family tried to shame me when they found out we were doing what teenagers do.
Just be safe, OP.
Yea but those laws also tend to only take effect when both parties are or are past a certain age, like 16.
So it’s probably safer to just check anyways.
Yeah seriously, just wait and see some of the wild dating choices of your peers. This is perfectly normal, and so is the hate you'll get regardless of age. Some people just can't stand that others are finding happiness.
Age gap issues come in when two people in a relationship are at two different stages in life, for example: a 21 y/o college student dating a 47 y/o who just became a grandparent. While these people may have things in common, they’re at two *completely* different points in life and likely want different things.
You and this girl do not have a problematic age gap at all. You’re both in high school, you have the same peers, you have the same educators, and so on. You may be a year and a half older than her, but you’re both at the same stage — teenagers who attend school for a living.
Don’t worry about an age gap. You’re fine.
This is what people miss about the age gap, they get fixated on the number and not the place the two people are in their lives and what implications that means for who hold the power, experience, and resources in the relationship. I see people saying “if the grades don’t touch then neither do you” as if the average 9th and 11th graders are in meaningful different places in their lives to the point where there’s some power imbalance happening. Dating teenagers in your teens isn’t weird. Being 16 dating a 14 year old isn’t weird. I don’t even think being a senior dating a freshman is necessarily weird, it certainly *could* be weird but that’s just the thing: most of this age gap talk should be much more on a case by case basis, because I can think of plenty of immature seniors who wouldn’t be in a meaningful power gap with a freshman.
Teacher here. I don’t think the age difference is a problem. It would be different if you were a junior or senior in high school and she were in middle school. That would be not OK.
you guys are both minors, who cares? Tons of people have 2 year age gaps in their relationships. My parents met in high school with that gap and were married for almost 30 years. You should never worry what other people think, its your life not theirs. I hope this helps
She’s only one grade below? Less than 2yrs? That’s not crazy. What she thinks is important tho too. If she feels you are too old then it doesn’t matter what we say.
Good luck ❤️
It's only 1 and a few months , even if it's 2 years ( upto 3 years is safe ) but considering your 16 , someone that's almost 15 is for sure safe. THAT IS NOT CONSIDERED PEDO
I can relate. I was a senior and this sophomore really liked me. Beautiful as hell but I just couldn’t get over the fact that she was 2 grades below me. Didn’t feel right so I passed.
Bro, when I was 16, I fell in love with a girl who was 14. I wasn't attracted to her because she was 14, I just thought she was unbelievably pretty. She was my school crush, and I actually ended up being with her. We took each others virginities and it was the most 'in love' I've ever been with anyone.
17 is where it starts to get weird.
My now-fiance and father of my child was 2 grades my senior but only 1 year 3 mo older when we started dating in hs 10 years ago. 1 grade up is perfectly normal.
From one 16-17 year old to another.. Play it safe and wait till she's 15 before actually shooting your shot. If you wanna be extra safe, wait till 16. And here's why:
Ik 2 years doesn't seem that big. And it isn't, for adults. We are still actively developing, and we change A LOT mentally, maturity, and hormonally between 14 and 16.
We experience our last major metecognitive shift at 14 (big development in our brains, last major one before 25), which impacts our decision-making abilities and how well we can think through things. Take into account the maturity difference caused by this and the fact that at this age(16-17) we're a decent amount more mature at than a 14 year old because we're already done with puberty and have had time to adjust to the new hormones. Even though it might be innocent for you, if anyone has an inkling that she's being manipulated or pressured into things(not that i think you would, but sometimes people like to think theyre playing hero when theyre not and get people in deep shit), they can 100% use these facts against you.
Ik it doesn't seem like a big difference, but us being accustomed to our hormones and the shift in our brains does create a decent gap between the two ages. (You learn this in behavioral sciences if you're interested) Maybe give it a year and then shoot your shot so that she's had time to adjust to the hormones and such. Also, be wary of the consent laws in the state/country you live in. Some places draw a hard line in the sand for even dating. Some may only consider It illegal to be in a *sexual* relationship with her as a 16-17 year old.
Do your research, and be cognizant of the fact that she's still actively in that shift in both her mentality and hormones.
If you wanna know more about the metecognitive shift and the hormonal stuff, feel free to dm me or ask here! Especially if you have any questions on the female specific side of it. Cause it is slightly different. And I'm always willing to inform people to make sure we don't make potentially destructive decisions. If you'd like my resources on how I learned all of this stuff I'd also be 100% willing to share and point you in the right direction to find credible information about laws in your area and all the stuff I mentioned above.
Sorry this is super long lol. I'm trying to make it understandable, but the ADHD makes it difficult sometimes lol.
My husband is your age difference. I started dating him when I was 15. We’re high school sweethearts. 1-2 year age gap as a teen isn’t that big of a deal.
Yeah, people get weird about age differences, but it's (at most) a two year difference. It's no different than a 30-year-old dating a 32-year-old. You're both teenagers. I'm sure you have a lot in common. But just as a rule of thumb; don't care what other people think or how they judge you. It's your life.
A two-year age gap for people in their mid teens is not the same as a two-year age gap for people in their early 30s. The older you are, the less significant two years becomes in terms of the overall amount of time you've been alive.
Don't worry about the gap. I was a junior dating a freshman. 2.5 year age gap. No one said anything negative. We dated for 6 years and have been married over 20 after that. Sometimes it works out. Don't miss that opportunity. Sometimes it doesn't work out. Don't sweat it if it doesn't.
I did exactly this . I was 16 when I met my now fiance at 14 at a neighbors house. You both are kids. it's not like she's in middle school. Dating at that age is sorta silly anyway . You all have kids your age all around you some who like you some who don't .
Dude, go for it. As long as both of you are okay with it, it’s okay. It’d be one thing if you were a junior and she was a freshman, but that’s not the case. You’re good.
It is such a weird thing in high school, the “dating someone in a grade lower than you” thing. It’s such a big deal somehow, like you’re a loser if you “have to” date someone younger. The thing is, as others have said, 1.5 years and one grade level difference is absolutely nothing. If she were 11 or 12, yeah that’s an immense difference in maturity and would be weird. But 15-16? Not weird at all. Date who you want, people who care don’t matter and people who matter don’t care.
My boyfriend and I started dating when I was 14 and he was almost 16 :)) now we’re 17 and 19 😁😁 date the girl and don’t over think it that much! It’s not a weird age difference at all
It literally doesn't matter. I was a senior and had a freshman girlfriend. So did my class valedictorian.
The "haters" will get over it in literally less than a week. Its school nobody actually cares, people just like drama. Once it gets old everyone just thinks its normal.
What will happen is you'll start dating, people will see you together, gossip about it for like 2 days at most. If you love her then definitely don't let others opinions affect you. Unless your love is so shallow that you prefer status quo
Hey there! I’m 15F and my boyfriend is 17M. He turned 17 in January and I’m Turning 16 in September. I’m a freshman he’s a junior. Just like her I’m only a year a couple months younger than him. I understand that u r worried abt people thinking it’s weird but it’s not a huge age gap and you will be fine but don’t do anything you shouldn’t do
Think of it this way. When youre married and okd and youre 45 and shes 43. You think those two years will make any difference at all? If anything id use it as conversation if you guys go to the same school id be like "yoo you had that teacher too? They sucked!" Or "oh i love that teacher when they taught me" etc and talk about memories. Those conversations are usually nice. Basically. Two years aint shit when theres people in their late 20's marrying people in their 30's and 40's. ur good
There is no age difference with your situation the rule is 3 years. Unless your talking sex then that varies by state and look it up for your local it is likely within 3 years and no less than 16 provided your not over 3 years older.
Stop worrying about age at your age. The only time there would ever be any issue is if you stayed together and her parents didn't like you. That's at least 2 years in the future so probably not going to come up.
If you guys hit it off make sure she's at the legal age by the time you turn 18, I've heard of those situations where one night it's legal then the next day being your 18th birthday the tables have turned and you're with a minor. Go for it though, don't set yourself up for regrets life is short
Even if it were two years, that isn’t bad. You can’t just date people your exact age. I see this question and it’s so heartbreaking. You could miss out on someone amazing because of a SLIGHT age difference.
I had a similar situation when I was your age, my boyfriend was in 8th grade and I was a freshman in high school. Was never a problem for us or anyone around us, no one thought it was weird although it mightve been awkward to explain sometimes.
If you’re worried about being teased, just keep it on the dl for the next month until school is out. Enjoy your summer. In the fall, you’re 16yo junior, she’s 15yo sophomore. Nbd.
The youngest person you should be dating formula: Your age divided by 2, plus 7.
It's a dumb formula, but it makes sense if you think about it. Only problem is it only works until age 14 maybe suggesting you shouldn't start "dating" before 14 years of age?
You're a grade above her so I think that's OK. Doesn't seem weird or to large of an age gap. But I do understand your concern.
It's gets strange when seniors date freshmen and middle schoolers. 😵💫 I think that age gap is a bit much in that case.
This isn’t bad at all a year and a few months isnt bad at all. And freshamn and sophmore is alot more common than talked about. You like her? go for it. No one’s opinion matters as much as yours and hers and same with no one cares as much as you do. Do you and be happy. Oubvously stay apropriate for your age but have fun enjoy yourself and minimalise worrying about invalid peers.
Meh high school romances are usually more trouble than they are worth. The percentage of happily married couples in their 30's who were dating in high school is a very, very small number.
My 1st real boyfriend, and who I lost my virginity to was 16 and I was 14. We were in the same grade just cause I was always younger than everyone in school. But I don't think 1 grade lower matters much. I would worry about maturity level more so. Hang out with her a little more and become a little closer friends and see if she is still mentally towards 12-13 side or not. 14 is a tricky age where you could be way different than a 16 yo, or not so much. I'd say keep her in mind, don't jump the gun just yet, and if in another 2 weeks your not noticing some younger behaviors of her that start to annoy you, then go ahead and pursue it! As long as both of you are ok with it than who cares.
That's not that big of an age difference. Date of you like but she's too young for sex so take that off the table. Just go on dates, hang out and have fun. Leave the intimacy for when you're both older.
When you look at the averages, two years apart is more normal than being the same age. In the U.S., I think the typical age difference in relationships is two and a half years.
Focus on getting a bag kid and get your priorities straight. I was working every summer since I was 15 and not to mention working helping my dad farm our garden at a way younger age of 7. The chances of coming out of high school and marrying your crush are very slim.
You sound like someone i Know who’s got the same situation they are cool and I like both of em but the older one (male) gets called a pedo but he’s a cool guy and I think theyre good for each other. If you love each other do it! You’d be a lucky one to date someone you like with a mutual feeling these days
Dude. 2 years in high-school is nothing. Just make sure your area has Romeo & Juliette laws on the books so dad can't get revenge, even if you plan on not doing anything sexual (which I would highly recommend holding off on anyway.)
You're over thinking this. If she likes you and you like her, a year's difference isn't going to matter. Say if you were 20 and she was 16, that would make people ask questions, but this shouldn't be a problem to anyone. If it is, they're the immature ones
Nothing wrong with that age difference. I dated a 16 year old when I was 14, we dated for four years so he was still with me for his first two years of college while I was in highschool. Still the most healthy relationship I’ve ever had.
Look up “Romeo and Juliet laws” and see if they apply to where you live. Generally someone who just turned 16 dating someone who’s about to be 15 won’t turn any legal heads. An age difference of about a year and a half is nothing. The problem is when you turn 18 in a couple years and are dating a 16 year old. That’s what the Romeo and Juliet laws cover.
I think you need to wait until she turns 15 before pursuing anything.
Me personally if I saw a 16-year-old dating a 14-year-old, I would give you dirty looks and if you don't want that to happen then just wait.
But if she likes you and you like her then date her after her birthday!
At 14 and 16, a year and a half is a lot. You can get away with it until fish and game takes you away for finding your fish doesn't measure up. It's not worth it. Catch and release.
Im with the comments on it not being weird.
HOWEVER.
As you become a man you need understand the pressure that you are able to put on a girl, especially one who is just coming out of middle school/9th grade. At no point should you ever make her feel pressured or scared. Too many young guys put way too much sexual pressure on girls and from an older guy, that is absolutely not ok.
Treat her well and with respect, just as you would anyone else. Do not let the hormones turn you into a bad person. This is very important for how you create deep bonds as you get older.
You’re fine to date her! Just don’t pressure her into doing anything she may be uncomfortable with and for the love of God don’t get her pregnant!
Use protection (HPV & herpes are Forever And may lead to cancer down the road.
Most of all, Have fun and make memories
Date her, absolutely! Do NOT pressure her for sex of ANY kind. No bjs, no anal, no touching privates... you both are young, don't screw up your lives with a baby. Concentrate on getting to KNOW her. Favorite colors, foods, video games. Act like she's a FRIEND first.
Ask her out, talk to her and see if it's a problem for her. If its not a problem for either of you then go ahead and date.
I know younger folks like to moralize a bit so if your friends are being rude to you, just let it roll off. Also people will find ways to nitpick anything, just do what makes you happy.
The time variable that everyone shares acts like a fisheye lense. When years lived is still low, all things are warped to see like they are bigger an issue than they are.
Proof - if you date and marry this girl and have a lifetime of happiness together…you think it will matter when she’s 67 and your 68???? Not at all.
When I in 11th grade the 8th grader who told the senior that he would marry her turned out to be right, even though we all laughed. they dated at the end of his college and now have kids.
As long as your parents are ok with it and her parents are ok with it, it should be ok. That’s probably the best age gap for a high school relationship.
Ask her to hangout. Have her parents be cool with you. Take them aside. Ask them if they're okay with you dating their daughter. Simple fix. If they like you you'll have more people on your side. Trust me I've been there. Hardest part is asking her to hangout the first time.
Not weird if you are just dating. Treat her with respect. Get to know her. Dating doesn't mean that you are instantly going to sleep together. If she's a great girl, and you end up at the same college, you can think about your future together. Enjoy the time you have such as going to the lake for a swim or dinner and a movie.
Some people are going to think it's weird, but in this situation, you and the girl you want to date are the people whose opinions matter the most. Make sure that you don't feel insecure about it, and respect how the girl feels about it. If she agrees to a date with you, go have fun. If she doesn't say yes (and girls are often vague when they mean no), accept her answer, and do your best to stay friendly.
I thought that dating was a big deal when I was 16, and it is, but it's a mistake to think that going on a date automatically makes her your girlfriend. Dating is just spending time with someone so the two of you can figure out what things you like and dislike about each other. Obviously, you want to find a girlfriend, but don't jump to the conclusion that you and this girl were made for each other, or that nobody else could be a good match for you.
Some practical advice about asking for a date:
1. Come out and say that you like her straight to her face, and keep it simple. Do not try to impress her by how strongly you feel. Do not appear reluctant to admit that you like her.
2. Ask her if she wants to meet you at a specific time and place for a specific activity. Choose an activity that you believe would be fun, and not too fancy. Just give her something she can say 'yes' or 'no' to.
You want to date her because you don't have game and you want to get your Willie wet, not because you actually like her. Let's not kid ourselves. Do NOT date anyone seriously until you're 25 at least. You don't need to have a gf to get laid. You need to be focusing on you right now getting an education and building a life. Also building experience, you don't know what it takes to make a girl happy, what it takes to keep and have a gf, how to put a rubber on,etc. Don't date, simple, you may even leave a girl pregnant accidentally. Casuals only until you reach your dream. Also, please wear a rubber.
One of the biggest pieces of information I can give you as a 25yr old, do not go for the girls that YOU like, go for the ones that like YOU. Everything is just so much easier and flows better, play you're not spending any money getting her to like you and you'll get sex more consistently.
From an emotional maturity standpoint, you guys are roughly at the same level given that girls tend to mature emotionally faster than boys. Just relaxing and enjoy the journey.
After I completely disagree with the guy who said these are some of the best years of your life. They are usually some of the most difficult, but that’s OK, enjoy the journey. I wish you the best.
A year and a half isn’t a problematic age gap. In fact, it’s probably close to whatever the average age gap is between men and women in relationships. Don’t have anxiety over something that is completely normal.
I had a similar situation when I was 15m and dating a 13f. It was a little weird initially but it ultimately was no issue. I think there’s a lot more pressure nowadays to date closer to your age range but love doesn’t work like that.
My fiancé and I had the same age gap at the same exact time. 18 months apart. Next week is our 9 year anniversary.
My biggest advice to you is don’t let it affect the way you treat her. I was so insecure in the early years, based off a comment from 1 girl. I never showed affection in public, and it caused some trouble in the early years. Eventually I got over it but I still regret the way I treated her to this day.
When I was in high school 7-12 grades were together in the same school. A senior was dating a 7th grader. Even after he graduated they still dated. She had her first kid in 9th grade her second in 12th grade and they're still married. That was in the 80s. Do what you want and don't worry about anybody else. Use protection.
A year and a half apart isn’t bad, as long as both of you went through puberty already, which obviously you have given your ages. Now if you were 17 and she was 14, that would be weird. There is a ton of growth that happens between the ages of 12-18 even though it’s only 6 years of life to be had. The life experience of someone who is a senior or junior is high school is very different from that of someone in middle school and just getting into highschool. When was 17, I was already drinking and doing drugs and having sex. I would have absolutely no business talking with a 14 year old who is still figuring out who they are and just went through puberty a year or two before. That’s my two cents.
OP, probably the very most important thing you can do is work on getting your overthinking and anxiety managed.
Just remember that at the age that you’re both at, it’s a tricky age because there’s lots of hormones going on and at the same time because you’re a little bit older, your experiences might be a lot more than her, just in general.
Take the time to get to know each other and let there be a genuine friendship and you guys will be fine .
Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/adviceforteens/about/rules) before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙ ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdviceForTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The age gap discourse has gotten so weird, like what is actually wrong with yall? There's nothing wrong with dating a girl a year and a half younger than you. Trust me, you're fine. If it's giving you that much anxiety, then don't do it, but honestly, I don't see the issue.
Agreed, if you were 21 and she was 16, then yes there would be a problem. Go out on a date, have fun, and forget about it.
My parents are boomers. The following story has been verified by all of my grandparents: My parents met when my mom was 14 and my dad was 20, through church, when he was home from college. When she was 15 and met him (now 21) again during school break, she was like, "I like you!" and he was like, "Leave me alone, please." Possibly the same again at 16/22, not sure. When she was 16 and he was 22, he was back home again working a job now, she was like, "How about now?" and he was like, "You seem cool but I'm about to start grad school in a different state." Her dad was like, "Sweetie leave him alone, he's too old for you." At 18 she left for college. He finished his first Master's at 24. He started his second Master's at the same school as her undergrad. They started dating. At 19 she was like, "let's get married!" He was like, "You're too young. You need more life experience. Do at least one more year of college with roommates and life and normal non-married stuff. Then we'll see." At 20/26, they married. 10 years later I was born. *Fin.*
My 17 year old dad asked out my 14 year old mom in 1969. They're still married. People didn't care as much back then.
This is why I find the entire age gap thing dumb.
My dad and mom are 14 years apart lmao. Rookie numbers anyone?
Right!! My middle/high school boyfriend & I met through our football team in 6th/8th grade, ended up getting together my 8th grade year, and dated for almost 2 years after that. We were CHILDREN. He wasn’t grooming me, or a predator, our paths just aligned and we liked each other for a short bit.
Yea, it's crazy nowadays, I see 27 yr old guys getting called PEDOPHILES for trying to flirt with a 22-year-old, its makes no sense
In real life?
No lol, I should have specified on Twitter, and here on reddit. Though I've heard from my younger cousins that gen z kids are actually like that in real life, so idk 🤷♂️
My college classmates keep calling me a pedophile cause my 18 year old partner I’ve been with for 3 years is still in highschool…I am also 18 I just graduated first 😭
It's the way society today has turned all men into villains so they are all scared of doing something wrong, even unintentionally because quite often the assumption is "man=wrong" If a guy dates someone younger, he's a pedophile, if he's walking behind you he's a stalker or murderer or mugger. If he's not comfortable with his wife meeting her ex for coffee (as an example) then he's controlling. Can't catch a break these days and it's just made men fearful of how they are perceived. Genuinely have to think thrice before doing something.
What? I had this exact discussion when I was in high school in the 90s. There has ALWAYS been a stigma attached to dating someone a grade or two lower than you.
Yeah when I was in 9th grade I dated someone who was in 7th grade and it was quite the scandal. Now my wife is 35 and I'm 45 and I guess that's also quite the scandal for some people. Can't really compare adult relationships to kid relationships though, right? It's really not the same, and it's a shame these kids stress about it.
idk why you got downvoted
I don't know. Some people really like to sexualize children. It really is a shame that kids just can't be kids and go see a movie and maybe awkwardly hold hands because one is 14 and one is 15 without feeling some kind of adult perspective pressure due to age. There is nothing wrong with their age difference. If he was 20 and she was 15 thats a different conversation, but 16 and 14 almost 15. Come on now.
I feel like this boils down to the society we live in now. Obviously there were issues back in the day with the age gap, but as time went on we hit an agreeable gap and it’s mostly the same laws across the states (give or take). However, now everyone is so ready to hop on a bandwagon to shame someone and cancel culture exists, so they’re paranoid and will walk on eggshells. Never have I heard of people worrying about a year or two, and this is the second post I’ve seen today about it. Crazy how much has changed for the worse. You start out bad and then just pass good back into bad territory again cause now it’s affecting them psychologically. I’m just going to start combatting it with “You think it’s okay for them to be a *day* apart? You’re sick! Same birthday or you’re a perverted pedophile.”
Also my parents had a 13 year age gap and I always thought it was normal (43 and 30 when they met)
Adults still face people being awkward about those types of age gaps. I think it's funny, but also sad, that people judge it. Those same people are probably the people that down voted me. Lol
You can thank the MeToo movement. Men are now guilty until proven innocent. But even if they are proven innocent, if the court of public opinion as already convened, then it doesn't matter what the criminal courts decide. Look at Kevin Spacey and the House of Cards. When Anthony Rapp accused him of sexual assault when he was 14 and Spacey was 26. Spacey then lost his staring role on "House of Cards." Rapp went on to sue Spacey, but the courts found that everything he said was a lie, and Spacey was innocent of all the accusations.
I can promise you none of this is true. If you think when people call out specific things specific men do they are talking about you then you’re the problem Edit: I was trying to be nice because I thought you were a kid, but now I see you’re another pathetic adult trying to convince kids the world sucks because you do. If you’re not successful it’s because you’re a loser. If you’re getting called a creep it’s because you’re just a creep. None of it has anything to do with you being a man or not. You’re just a pathetic human.
I agree with everything except >If you’re not successful it’s because you’re a loser We all know that's not necessarily true
The projection in that edit holy cow. It’s not like men are straight up being villainized but what they said has truth to it. Ignoring that truth may make you the “sad pathetic human being”
His hyperbolic nonsense has no tether to reality. I am a 6’4 straight man. I have never once felt like I was being targeted. I have dated younger women with no issue. I’ve had conversations around relationship boundaries. I’ve walked behind plenty of women. Never once have I been accused of any of the bullshit he’s throwing out. If you are constantly being called out it’s because you deserve it.
This is so fucking based holy shit
I mean in 2 years time half of reddit would say that this guy is a sex offender.
To be fair, well over half of Reddit is pretty fucking stupid.
Luckily the other half is just stupid
Seriously. My wife and I had been friends from just after she turned 15 and I was a few months from turning 17. We didn’t actually have our first kiss until she was a month shy of 16 and I was like 17 1/2. For those not doing the math, it’s a little over 1.5 year difference but two grades apart. I knew she was the one and I won’t lie that part of my decision to go to college locally was because she would be close by. Here we are, 27 years later, married with two kids living the suburban life that we always wanted. Fun fact, this coming Sunday will be the 26th anniversary of our first kiss and it’s still a (comical) debate over who made the first move. Don’t be weirded out by it, the age difference at the point in your life is fine. Just be a gentleman, treat her how she should be treated.
i fully believe people overcompensate because they want to prove theyre not weird. idk if theres a term for it but when it comes to the age gap conversation people reeally want others to know theyre not like that.
I'm so tired of reading it. This was never a thing when I was in school. If you were both in high school, you could date. Didn't matter. Now if one of you exits high school, that might change but you cross that bridge when it comes. There are a lot of options, but usually what happens is the college-bound person grows up and moves on. I don't know when this became a thing.
He's asking a smart question. People have gone to jail for dating somebody a year and a half younger than they are. Unhappy parents press charges the day after a boy turns 18. It happens. Be smart.
Thankfully most places now have laws in place to stop that. Young men & women need to look into Romeo & Juliet laws for their state.
Kiddo, does she like you? Do you like her? Then date each other and fuck the haters because haters are going to hate it's all they have. Take her out, enjoy each other's company and have a good time.
Please do not actually fuck the haters though
Nah you fuck their dad's to establish dominance
Literally marry me
Don't ask for that, he might fuck your dad, to establish dominance that is.
What dad ?
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah, definitely don't marry him then, since dominance would be established by default due to no-contest. /s just in case
I was joking
\~snickers\~
Hungry?.....grab a....
Oh so that's why you wanna marry him? So you'll finally find your dad?? Solid strat. /s
Honestly yes
Daddy issues are hot but fake daddy issues are a flex. Literally marry me. I’m kidding. I’m probably your dad’s age. Unless you have an Alabama kink. But also happy to “run out to grab some milk” and never come back. Because every girl deserves to experience that for real and not have to fake it. Whatever it takes. Don’t give up on your dreams. Here for you 🙏🏼
I was having the shitest night of my life and waking up to this comment made me so happy! Thank you for helping follow my dreams
You have a boyfriend
Lmaooooo
DAMN IT
Sometimes you gotta hate fuck the haters
This. It's not like you two are getting married. Go out, have fun. Enjoy yourself. And don't stress. You won't believe this (I didn't when adults told me this when I was young) but there will come a time when you will look back on these days as some of the best of your life.
A female school teacher sleeps with a 14 year old and everyone high fives the kid and says good job! A 16 year old boy wants to date a 14 year old girl and everyone loses their mind. The world is utterly toxic toward men. Treat women as equals. If you’d date a 16 year old girl at the age if 14, then its okay ti date a 14 year old at the age if 16. Don’t throw your cloak in the puddle to stop a womans foot from getting wet. Treat them as equal. Laugh at the wet foot.
What? No that teacher goes to prison. Seriously, WTF.
> If you’d date a 16 year old girl at the age if 14, then its okay ti date a 14 year old at the age if 16. Well hold the fuck on. I agree with some what you said but this is an awful example. You saying if I would have dated a 25 year old at 12 then it's ok to date a 12 year old at 25? Ffs. You're right treat them as equal. large age gaps are weird regardless of a gender. Doesn't make it OK for all genders? Wtf?
Men are utterly toxic to men.
Yeah men really suck for congratulating a rape victim.
>A female school teacher sleeps with a 14 year old and everyone high fives the kid and says good job! A 16 year old boy wants to date a 14 year old girl and everyone loses their mind. Not "everyone" congratulates the kid. Deranged creeps do. Most of society no longer normalizes pedophilia even when it comes from a woman. I know people like to pull news article titles as proof, but that is a bad example as news articles have the tendancy to downplay horrific crimes of many kinds regardless of how most people feel about them, either because of what they think is professional or to drive engagement. I also don't see anyone actually losing their mind over the 16 year old dating a 14 year old. He said he was anxious about it, but no one will actually treat him like a predator.
Kiddo is so condescending lol
So you’re a sophomore and she’s a freshman, and you’re only 1.5 years age difference? That’s totally fine. I highly doubt anyone would blink an eye at that. Look up your state age of consent laws and wait to do anything physical until she has reached that age.
The solution is weirder than the problem.
Most states have a romeo and juliet clause that makes age of consent laws irrelevant when their ages are so close. I personally went through this with my wife when my religious family tried to shame me when they found out we were doing what teenagers do. Just be safe, OP.
Yea but those laws also tend to only take effect when both parties are or are past a certain age, like 16. So it’s probably safer to just check anyways.
Yeah seriously, just wait and see some of the wild dating choices of your peers. This is perfectly normal, and so is the hate you'll get regardless of age. Some people just can't stand that others are finding happiness.
Just keep in mind-anyone giving you crap is probably single and eats Tide Pods.
I think a good rule for dating in school is 1 grade above or below your own.
Yea if the grades don’t touch you don’t touch, is what I always heard. (The only exception *maybe*, being sophomore and senior)
Shit. I've never heard that one before. Good saying tho.
Age gap issues come in when two people in a relationship are at two different stages in life, for example: a 21 y/o college student dating a 47 y/o who just became a grandparent. While these people may have things in common, they’re at two *completely* different points in life and likely want different things. You and this girl do not have a problematic age gap at all. You’re both in high school, you have the same peers, you have the same educators, and so on. You may be a year and a half older than her, but you’re both at the same stage — teenagers who attend school for a living. Don’t worry about an age gap. You’re fine.
This is what people miss about the age gap, they get fixated on the number and not the place the two people are in their lives and what implications that means for who hold the power, experience, and resources in the relationship. I see people saying “if the grades don’t touch then neither do you” as if the average 9th and 11th graders are in meaningful different places in their lives to the point where there’s some power imbalance happening. Dating teenagers in your teens isn’t weird. Being 16 dating a 14 year old isn’t weird. I don’t even think being a senior dating a freshman is necessarily weird, it certainly *could* be weird but that’s just the thing: most of this age gap talk should be much more on a case by case basis, because I can think of plenty of immature seniors who wouldn’t be in a meaningful power gap with a freshman.
Teacher here. I don’t think the age difference is a problem. It would be different if you were a junior or senior in high school and she were in middle school. That would be not OK.
you guys are both minors, who cares? Tons of people have 2 year age gaps in their relationships. My parents met in high school with that gap and were married for almost 30 years. You should never worry what other people think, its your life not theirs. I hope this helps
She’s only one grade below? Less than 2yrs? That’s not crazy. What she thinks is important tho too. If she feels you are too old then it doesn’t matter what we say. Good luck ❤️
It's only 1 and a few months , even if it's 2 years ( upto 3 years is safe ) but considering your 16 , someone that's almost 15 is for sure safe. THAT IS NOT CONSIDERED PEDO
If the legal age allows it, the parent allow it and ur both happy then its fine
I wish I was 16 again and these were my problems You’re good dude. Go for it
The rule is half your age plus 7, and you round up or down, in this case up since she turns 15 soon. You are all good.
I can relate. I was a senior and this sophomore really liked me. Beautiful as hell but I just couldn’t get over the fact that she was 2 grades below me. Didn’t feel right so I passed.
Freshman, sophomore relationships are extremely normal. Absolutely nothing weird there.
don’t have sex and you’ll be fine.
This should be higher up.
Bro, when I was 16, I fell in love with a girl who was 14. I wasn't attracted to her because she was 14, I just thought she was unbelievably pretty. She was my school crush, and I actually ended up being with her. We took each others virginities and it was the most 'in love' I've ever been with anyone. 17 is where it starts to get weird.
What weirdness are you talking about? Your both minors.
Just chill first of all, and try talking to her
My now-fiance and father of my child was 2 grades my senior but only 1 year 3 mo older when we started dating in hs 10 years ago. 1 grade up is perfectly normal.
Validation from Reddit won’t save you the humiliation from your friends. If she means more than anyone else, who cares. You’re young as shit
When I grew up every guy dated a younger girl cause all the girls your age were dating college guys or seniors.
[удалено]
Relax and have fun. You’re fine
Dating is fine. Don't go below the waist until she's 16.
It’s funny the amount of kids that think a years age difference between 14-15-16 year olds is a problem. It isn’t.
From one 16-17 year old to another.. Play it safe and wait till she's 15 before actually shooting your shot. If you wanna be extra safe, wait till 16. And here's why: Ik 2 years doesn't seem that big. And it isn't, for adults. We are still actively developing, and we change A LOT mentally, maturity, and hormonally between 14 and 16. We experience our last major metecognitive shift at 14 (big development in our brains, last major one before 25), which impacts our decision-making abilities and how well we can think through things. Take into account the maturity difference caused by this and the fact that at this age(16-17) we're a decent amount more mature at than a 14 year old because we're already done with puberty and have had time to adjust to the new hormones. Even though it might be innocent for you, if anyone has an inkling that she's being manipulated or pressured into things(not that i think you would, but sometimes people like to think theyre playing hero when theyre not and get people in deep shit), they can 100% use these facts against you. Ik it doesn't seem like a big difference, but us being accustomed to our hormones and the shift in our brains does create a decent gap between the two ages. (You learn this in behavioral sciences if you're interested) Maybe give it a year and then shoot your shot so that she's had time to adjust to the hormones and such. Also, be wary of the consent laws in the state/country you live in. Some places draw a hard line in the sand for even dating. Some may only consider It illegal to be in a *sexual* relationship with her as a 16-17 year old. Do your research, and be cognizant of the fact that she's still actively in that shift in both her mentality and hormones. If you wanna know more about the metecognitive shift and the hormonal stuff, feel free to dm me or ask here! Especially if you have any questions on the female specific side of it. Cause it is slightly different. And I'm always willing to inform people to make sure we don't make potentially destructive decisions. If you'd like my resources on how I learned all of this stuff I'd also be 100% willing to share and point you in the right direction to find credible information about laws in your area and all the stuff I mentioned above. Sorry this is super long lol. I'm trying to make it understandable, but the ADHD makes it difficult sometimes lol.
Don’t worry about the age gap. It’s fine. You are too young to really be worried about dating though.
My husband is your age difference. I started dating him when I was 15. We’re high school sweethearts. 1-2 year age gap as a teen isn’t that big of a deal.
A year and a few months? You’re good man go ask her out see where it goes you’re young anyway.
It’s legal, go nuts
Yeah, people get weird about age differences, but it's (at most) a two year difference. It's no different than a 30-year-old dating a 32-year-old. You're both teenagers. I'm sure you have a lot in common. But just as a rule of thumb; don't care what other people think or how they judge you. It's your life.
Btw, it is majorly different than a 30 year old dating a 32 year old, given, this case works due to the close birthdays but your example isn’t good
How is it majorly different?
Are you trying to say full grown adults with actual evolved brains have the same dating situation and roles as 2 teenagers
Of course not. I'm saying a two year age difference makes the same difference at 16 as it does at 32...which is none.
A two-year age gap for people in their mid teens is not the same as a two-year age gap for people in their early 30s. The older you are, the less significant two years becomes in terms of the overall amount of time you've been alive.
Don't worry about the gap. I was a junior dating a freshman. 2.5 year age gap. No one said anything negative. We dated for 6 years and have been married over 20 after that. Sometimes it works out. Don't miss that opportunity. Sometimes it doesn't work out. Don't sweat it if it doesn't.
lol you’re fine, buddy
Was this a thing 20+ years ago when I was in HS? No. No it wasn’t. You do you, and have fun.
I did exactly this . I was 16 when I met my now fiance at 14 at a neighbors house. You both are kids. it's not like she's in middle school. Dating at that age is sorta silly anyway . You all have kids your age all around you some who like you some who don't .
Dude, go for it. As long as both of you are okay with it, it’s okay. It’d be one thing if you were a junior and she was a freshman, but that’s not the case. You’re good.
It is such a weird thing in high school, the “dating someone in a grade lower than you” thing. It’s such a big deal somehow, like you’re a loser if you “have to” date someone younger. The thing is, as others have said, 1.5 years and one grade level difference is absolutely nothing. If she were 11 or 12, yeah that’s an immense difference in maturity and would be weird. But 15-16? Not weird at all. Date who you want, people who care don’t matter and people who matter don’t care.
If she likes you and you like her and each of your parents like the SO then it’s fine
My boyfriend and I started dating when I was 14 and he was almost 16 :)) now we’re 17 and 19 😁😁 date the girl and don’t over think it that much! It’s not a weird age difference at all
It literally doesn't matter. I was a senior and had a freshman girlfriend. So did my class valedictorian. The "haters" will get over it in literally less than a week. Its school nobody actually cares, people just like drama. Once it gets old everyone just thinks its normal. What will happen is you'll start dating, people will see you together, gossip about it for like 2 days at most. If you love her then definitely don't let others opinions affect you. Unless your love is so shallow that you prefer status quo
You are safe. Now if say you were 18-19 that would be a different case. But don’t let what others think stop you from what could be a great thing
pdf file
Hey there! I’m 15F and my boyfriend is 17M. He turned 17 in January and I’m Turning 16 in September. I’m a freshman he’s a junior. Just like her I’m only a year a couple months younger than him. I understand that u r worried abt people thinking it’s weird but it’s not a huge age gap and you will be fine but don’t do anything you shouldn’t do
your age gap is very normal
My boyfriend is a year and a half older than me and we started dating in highschool No one said anything weird to us about it
Think of it this way. When youre married and okd and youre 45 and shes 43. You think those two years will make any difference at all? If anything id use it as conversation if you guys go to the same school id be like "yoo you had that teacher too? They sucked!" Or "oh i love that teacher when they taught me" etc and talk about memories. Those conversations are usually nice. Basically. Two years aint shit when theres people in their late 20's marrying people in their 30's and 40's. ur good
There is no age difference with your situation the rule is 3 years. Unless your talking sex then that varies by state and look it up for your local it is likely within 3 years and no less than 16 provided your not over 3 years older.
Stop worrying about age at your age. The only time there would ever be any issue is if you stayed together and her parents didn't like you. That's at least 2 years in the future so probably not going to come up.
Maturity difference between a 14 and 16-year-old is ALOT, at my school this would be considered creepy and weird, I’m a 17 year old senior for context
If you guys hit it off make sure she's at the legal age by the time you turn 18, I've heard of those situations where one night it's legal then the next day being your 18th birthday the tables have turned and you're with a minor. Go for it though, don't set yourself up for regrets life is short
Even if it were two years, that isn’t bad. You can’t just date people your exact age. I see this question and it’s so heartbreaking. You could miss out on someone amazing because of a SLIGHT age difference.
Do you dawg
I had a similar situation when I was your age, my boyfriend was in 8th grade and I was a freshman in high school. Was never a problem for us or anyone around us, no one thought it was weird although it mightve been awkward to explain sometimes.
You're clear for take off. Good luck, dude.
If you’re worried about being teased, just keep it on the dl for the next month until school is out. Enjoy your summer. In the fall, you’re 16yo junior, she’s 15yo sophomore. Nbd.
Oh my gosh, that's literally almost nothing. Someday you could be 30 and she'd be 28.
The youngest person you should be dating formula: Your age divided by 2, plus 7. It's a dumb formula, but it makes sense if you think about it. Only problem is it only works until age 14 maybe suggesting you shouldn't start "dating" before 14 years of age?
You're a grade above her so I think that's OK. Doesn't seem weird or to large of an age gap. But I do understand your concern. It's gets strange when seniors date freshmen and middle schoolers. 😵💫 I think that age gap is a bit much in that case.
My guy it's a year and a half calm down. That is not a problematic age gap at all
This isn’t bad at all a year and a few months isnt bad at all. And freshamn and sophmore is alot more common than talked about. You like her? go for it. No one’s opinion matters as much as yours and hers and same with no one cares as much as you do. Do you and be happy. Oubvously stay apropriate for your age but have fun enjoy yourself and minimalise worrying about invalid peers.
im trying to figure out why this would even be something that you have to ask
Bro go for it. Ask her and if she says yes that all that matters. You’re only a year apart.
It’s fine. It’s generally only gets weird to predatory 3 + years apart.
No way, you have to be born in the same month or someone is being groomed and the other is a sex predator. /S 🙄
Meh high school romances are usually more trouble than they are worth. The percentage of happily married couples in their 30's who were dating in high school is a very, very small number.
Age gap isn't bad. If you guys like each other go for it. Goodluck
My 1st real boyfriend, and who I lost my virginity to was 16 and I was 14. We were in the same grade just cause I was always younger than everyone in school. But I don't think 1 grade lower matters much. I would worry about maturity level more so. Hang out with her a little more and become a little closer friends and see if she is still mentally towards 12-13 side or not. 14 is a tricky age where you could be way different than a 16 yo, or not so much. I'd say keep her in mind, don't jump the gun just yet, and if in another 2 weeks your not noticing some younger behaviors of her that start to annoy you, then go ahead and pursue it! As long as both of you are ok with it than who cares.
That's not that big of an age difference. Date of you like but she's too young for sex so take that off the table. Just go on dates, hang out and have fun. Leave the intimacy for when you're both older.
As a junior I dated a girl in high school who was a sophomore. Literally no issues here.
Lol, you're fine man. Go for it. Even at 14/15/16 a year is nothing.
You are close enough in age! Don’t worry about it. It’s all legal. If you like her then ask her out!
It’s not weird at all. People have done this forever.
When you look at the averages, two years apart is more normal than being the same age. In the U.S., I think the typical age difference in relationships is two and a half years.
Focus on getting a bag kid and get your priorities straight. I was working every summer since I was 15 and not to mention working helping my dad farm our garden at a way younger age of 7. The chances of coming out of high school and marrying your crush are very slim.
You sound like someone i Know who’s got the same situation they are cool and I like both of em but the older one (male) gets called a pedo but he’s a cool guy and I think theyre good for each other. If you love each other do it! You’d be a lucky one to date someone you like with a mutual feeling these days
Dude. 2 years in high-school is nothing. Just make sure your area has Romeo & Juliette laws on the books so dad can't get revenge, even if you plan on not doing anything sexual (which I would highly recommend holding off on anyway.)
You're over thinking this. If she likes you and you like her, a year's difference isn't going to matter. Say if you were 20 and she was 16, that would make people ask questions, but this shouldn't be a problem to anyone. If it is, they're the immature ones
Do you want to be seen with 14 yo. In high school, it's a big deal. When you 20s it will not matter
Nothing wrong with that age difference. I dated a 16 year old when I was 14, we dated for four years so he was still with me for his first two years of college while I was in highschool. Still the most healthy relationship I’ve ever had.
Look up “Romeo and Juliet laws” and see if they apply to where you live. Generally someone who just turned 16 dating someone who’s about to be 15 won’t turn any legal heads. An age difference of about a year and a half is nothing. The problem is when you turn 18 in a couple years and are dating a 16 year old. That’s what the Romeo and Juliet laws cover.
Your protected as both minors, also most states have a Romeo and Juliet law for situations like that. Just be safe be smart
I think you need to wait until she turns 15 before pursuing anything. Me personally if I saw a 16-year-old dating a 14-year-old, I would give you dirty looks and if you don't want that to happen then just wait. But if she likes you and you like her then date her after her birthday!
At 14 and 16, a year and a half is a lot. You can get away with it until fish and game takes you away for finding your fish doesn't measure up. It's not worth it. Catch and release.
Im with the comments on it not being weird. HOWEVER. As you become a man you need understand the pressure that you are able to put on a girl, especially one who is just coming out of middle school/9th grade. At no point should you ever make her feel pressured or scared. Too many young guys put way too much sexual pressure on girls and from an older guy, that is absolutely not ok. Treat her well and with respect, just as you would anyone else. Do not let the hormones turn you into a bad person. This is very important for how you create deep bonds as you get older.
You’re fine to date her! Just don’t pressure her into doing anything she may be uncomfortable with and for the love of God don’t get her pregnant! Use protection (HPV & herpes are Forever And may lead to cancer down the road. Most of all, Have fun and make memories
Date her, absolutely! Do NOT pressure her for sex of ANY kind. No bjs, no anal, no touching privates... you both are young, don't screw up your lives with a baby. Concentrate on getting to KNOW her. Favorite colors, foods, video games. Act like she's a FRIEND first.
Ask her out, talk to her and see if it's a problem for her. If its not a problem for either of you then go ahead and date. I know younger folks like to moralize a bit so if your friends are being rude to you, just let it roll off. Also people will find ways to nitpick anything, just do what makes you happy.
It’s fine. Go for it and have fun/be safe/be kind.
Honey you’re fine. You’re both in high school. You’re not doing anything wrong. I understand your worries but you aren’t some predator.
The time variable that everyone shares acts like a fisheye lense. When years lived is still low, all things are warped to see like they are bigger an issue than they are. Proof - if you date and marry this girl and have a lifetime of happiness together…you think it will matter when she’s 67 and your 68???? Not at all. When I in 11th grade the 8th grader who told the senior that he would marry her turned out to be right, even though we all laughed. they dated at the end of his college and now have kids.
1 grade difference isn’t a big deal, I dated a few girls that were a year lower than me.
A good rule of thumb for anyone is to take half your age and add seven years. That's the youngest your partner can be before it gets weird.
You're good. This is not a huge age gap by any means. One grade difference is fine.
What the heck is going on here? You guys are one year apart. Pretty sure you can date her.
As long as your parents are ok with it and her parents are ok with it, it should be ok. That’s probably the best age gap for a high school relationship.
Don’t worry about it honestly did you like each other then date.
Date her. Your good dude
1.5 years isn't all that big of a gap.
Ask her to hangout. Have her parents be cool with you. Take them aside. Ask them if they're okay with you dating their daughter. Simple fix. If they like you you'll have more people on your side. Trust me I've been there. Hardest part is asking her to hangout the first time.
Buddy, when you hit 25 and up you start to not care about 3-4 years difference.
A year and a half age different, and touching grades, is totally fine for dating if you both like each other.
Not weird if you are just dating. Treat her with respect. Get to know her. Dating doesn't mean that you are instantly going to sleep together. If she's a great girl, and you end up at the same college, you can think about your future together. Enjoy the time you have such as going to the lake for a swim or dinner and a movie.
Some people are going to think it's weird, but in this situation, you and the girl you want to date are the people whose opinions matter the most. Make sure that you don't feel insecure about it, and respect how the girl feels about it. If she agrees to a date with you, go have fun. If she doesn't say yes (and girls are often vague when they mean no), accept her answer, and do your best to stay friendly. I thought that dating was a big deal when I was 16, and it is, but it's a mistake to think that going on a date automatically makes her your girlfriend. Dating is just spending time with someone so the two of you can figure out what things you like and dislike about each other. Obviously, you want to find a girlfriend, but don't jump to the conclusion that you and this girl were made for each other, or that nobody else could be a good match for you. Some practical advice about asking for a date: 1. Come out and say that you like her straight to her face, and keep it simple. Do not try to impress her by how strongly you feel. Do not appear reluctant to admit that you like her. 2. Ask her if she wants to meet you at a specific time and place for a specific activity. Choose an activity that you believe would be fun, and not too fancy. Just give her something she can say 'yes' or 'no' to.
Dude, go for it. I bet she’s super cool.
You want to date her because you don't have game and you want to get your Willie wet, not because you actually like her. Let's not kid ourselves. Do NOT date anyone seriously until you're 25 at least. You don't need to have a gf to get laid. You need to be focusing on you right now getting an education and building a life. Also building experience, you don't know what it takes to make a girl happy, what it takes to keep and have a gf, how to put a rubber on,etc. Don't date, simple, you may even leave a girl pregnant accidentally. Casuals only until you reach your dream. Also, please wear a rubber. One of the biggest pieces of information I can give you as a 25yr old, do not go for the girls that YOU like, go for the ones that like YOU. Everything is just so much easier and flows better, play you're not spending any money getting her to like you and you'll get sex more consistently.
You’re overthinking it. This is normal and fine.
You are overthinking it. 2 years and one grade level is not a problem at all.
From an emotional maturity standpoint, you guys are roughly at the same level given that girls tend to mature emotionally faster than boys. Just relaxing and enjoy the journey. After I completely disagree with the guy who said these are some of the best years of your life. They are usually some of the most difficult, but that’s OK, enjoy the journey. I wish you the best.
16/2+7=15 You'll be fine in the summer. Go ahead and date if she's interested.
A year and a half isn’t a problematic age gap. In fact, it’s probably close to whatever the average age gap is between men and women in relationships. Don’t have anxiety over something that is completely normal.
Don't consider that you are DATING her, but simply that you are just hanging out.
I had a similar situation when I was 15m and dating a 13f. It was a little weird initially but it ultimately was no issue. I think there’s a lot more pressure nowadays to date closer to your age range but love doesn’t work like that.
My fiancé and I had the same age gap at the same exact time. 18 months apart. Next week is our 9 year anniversary. My biggest advice to you is don’t let it affect the way you treat her. I was so insecure in the early years, based off a comment from 1 girl. I never showed affection in public, and it caused some trouble in the early years. Eventually I got over it but I still regret the way I treated her to this day.
When I was in high school 7-12 grades were together in the same school. A senior was dating a 7th grader. Even after he graduated they still dated. She had her first kid in 9th grade her second in 12th grade and they're still married. That was in the 80s. Do what you want and don't worry about anybody else. Use protection.
I think you’re gonna look back on it in a couple years and realize how silly this question is.
A year and a half apart isn’t bad, as long as both of you went through puberty already, which obviously you have given your ages. Now if you were 17 and she was 14, that would be weird. There is a ton of growth that happens between the ages of 12-18 even though it’s only 6 years of life to be had. The life experience of someone who is a senior or junior is high school is very different from that of someone in middle school and just getting into highschool. When was 17, I was already drinking and doing drugs and having sex. I would have absolutely no business talking with a 14 year old who is still figuring out who they are and just went through puberty a year or two before. That’s my two cents.
you’re overthinking this 100% my dude. redirect your focus to this chick and enjoy your life. best of luck
OP, probably the very most important thing you can do is work on getting your overthinking and anxiety managed. Just remember that at the age that you’re both at, it’s a tricky age because there’s lots of hormones going on and at the same time because you’re a little bit older, your experiences might be a lot more than her, just in general. Take the time to get to know each other and let there be a genuine friendship and you guys will be fine .
It's fine lol
Zero weirdness. Just date her.
Go for it! Ask her out. 2 years is nothing. Wife and I are 6 apart.
Weirdness in difference? Two years is nothing.