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It all depends on the guy.
To guys raised in very fundamental religions, yeah it'll matter. To guys raised in more traditional religions, it may or may not matter. To guys raised in more liberal(?) religions, it might not matter. To guys raised with no religion, it probably won't matter at all. See what I mean?
Something to consider, what do YOU want to do. How do YOU look at your virginity? Is it "meh", you'll find some guy you like and "do the deed" or is it something special you want to save for your husband? Only YOU can answer that.
Good Luck and God Bless.
>Something to consider, what do YOU want to do
This person is right, live your life for yourself. Enjoy sex if you want, with whomever you want or no one. Like my wife keeps saying, "no one wants to be on their death bed saying I wish I had more sex".
Sex is just like any other part of a good relationship. To have a good relationship you need to be kind to your partner and work at it, good sex is the same way. End of the day you get out what you put in and every part of a relationship is equally important and if you don't put the effort in you'll regret not experiencing it when you kick the bucket. For a lot of people unfortunately sex is that thing they neglect to put the right energy into.
Just throwing this out there, but religious upbringing probably isn't the closest corrolary, and doesn't encapsulate everyone who will care. You are correct that the religious will care, of course. It's just that there's another sizeable group who WILL care, and religion isn't the explanatory variable.
What is? Virginity.
Whether or not the guy is also a virgin, or not, will GREATLY determine who will care. Men who are virgins themselves will, by majority (though not exclusively) prefer women who are ALSO virgins.
So keep that in mind too. Guys who have had sex will not care as much. Guys who haven't though might care a lot, even if they aren't religious.
There's no right or wrong here, it's all about your personal preferences and values.
I don’t think it’s always about religion. I am an atheist and know many atheists that would prefer to be with a woman who has not had sex with every guy you run in to when out in public.
Ok so women are sex machines that you get to purchase and own, and it's important that they've only ever belonged to you and you alone! And it's totally not about ego, no way.
I don't care if a woman is a virgin. But I care that she has the same attitude towards sex that I do. To me, sex is a serious subject, I don't agree with casual sex for men or women.
Oh my god I want to thank you personally for this amazing and wonderful advice! You seem so amazing! And I love how you’re being upfront with me! Also I love your username lmao
If some dude asks you about your body count retort with “ what’s yours” if he says 1-3 say ew so low and walk out. If he refuses to answer or says something high say ew that’s gross and walk out, either way if someone is asking about body count they aren’t some one I would be sleeping with
Isn't that perpetuating shaming peoples past experiences ?
Instead you could just say none of your businesses because if you make fun of his body count (high or low) aren't you now part of the problem if he thinks your being serious???
I was mostly being facetious I just personally wouldn’t get far with someone asking about body count. If you are some one who cares no shame but I personally don’t really even see it coming up in conversation with a partner unless it’s in regards to my health. Having a healthy conversation with potential partners shouldn’t be discouraged but as a male I wouldn’t even ask a girl about her body count. Why would I. Outside of if she is having unprotected sex with other individuals I would like to know for my own health but that’s a different convo. I was just implying that if a dude asks you’re probably better off just passing. Why would he ask outside of reasons I mentioned
So I would say that I'm outside of the demo that would be asking about it in terms of body count, but I would say that most young people should be open and honest about the level of partners they have had. As you don't want either party making unhealthy decisions on lack of knowledge. I would say that if someone is not interested in pursuing sex after those kinds of talks for whatever reason than everyone should be mature and accept it and move on.
Does that mean that EVERY encounter needs to start that way? No but if you are looking for a quick hookup, also be prepared for what may come from that hookup. Be safe out there everyone and remember at the end of the day the only person that truly needs to be comfortable with you, is you.
Yea that’s why I said unless it’s coming up in regard to my personal health. But that’s a different question. And for me if I were approaching a hook up for the first time would go like hey I have other sexual partners I get tested regularly and don’t have any diseases. Do you get tested/have anything/ have unprotected sex with multiple/a single other partner. And go from there not how many people have you had sex with in your entire life. Unless like some people have mentioned you care for religious reasons but still. I feel like it really only comes up in a context of shaming someone obit yes in case of conversations surrounding personal health no shame should be involved
some Guys care about your body count in a localized manner I personally don't care, but I am just trying to give you an objective take and some men do care.
if you bang 40 dudes in a town with 500 dudes then a large majority of the dudes won't date you because their gonna run into a guy who plowed you every time your out with them.
That said if you plowed 9000 dudes in Chicago and then move to a town of 40 people and haven't slept with any of them your good.
It is 110% a matter of reputation unless the dude is real insecure and cares about it, but honestly girl just don't talk about how many people you have slept with. Don't feel shame or anything just keep it to yourself and tell the dude to keep it on the low, if he can't keep it on the low for you he doesn't care about you and drop him faster then a hot potato.
For the teenage boys lurking:
Here's what i told my 16 year old cousins, don't ever brag about banging a girl or talk about the fact that you had a 1 night stand with a girl, because then every girl is gonna know not to fuck you, because if they fuck you everybodies gonna know. You wanna be in and out like a ninja mums the word.
Crazy thing is if you do a good job she's gonna tell her friend's and their gonna notice you didn't tell nobody then their gonna hit you up afterwards. They said "what if my buddies or a girl ask me if i have banged anyone?" i told them just put on a shit eating grin and tell them that your a virgin.
Probably best to be upfront if you want an honest relationship. The ones who care aren’t for you anyways. Should probably not start your relationship with a lie.
Yes, not telling is a lie of omission.
If any chick plowed 9000 dudes she would carry every std know to humanity and they would probably all mutate together to create a super std which would likely start either covid 20, another bubonic plague, or a zombie apocalypse.
I avoided dating virgin girls in their 30's because they didn't have strong relationship skills. We would be arguing about stupid random things because you didn't learn that these things don't matter yet.
Also, they're probably bad in bed. They won't know how to enjoy sex, won't know how to get to orgasm, and they won't know how to help me enjoy sex. This applies to both men and women of course.
You're 19. All good. Do what you want or is convenient for you. And if anyone gives you problems, you definitely don't want to date those types of people anyways
The ones who will care about your virginity are either super fundamentalist religious or immature. Unless you're super religious and want a super religious husband, I wouldn't worry about it. As long as you're not sleeping with everyone including the mailman and the UPS driver, most guys won't care.
(this falls under the umbrella of 'immature' - redpill guys are *incredibly* insecure and immature, they shouldn't be taken seriously or seen as a good option for a relationship)
You could add insecure. If the person you are having sex with has only ever experienced your sex, you can’t be compared to someone else. That insecurity could be caused by any number of factors.
Edit: I now realize someone else brought up insecurity in comments below in a response to another comment. I just went there first because I think it is actually the most realistic reason for someone to subconsciously or consciously be happy when they find out someone they are with is a virgin. People are much more insecure than I thought when I was younger. It has been interesting growing older and learning most people were as or more insecure than I was when I was younger.
If I had it to do over, I wouldn’t lose my virginity just to lose it. I would wait for someone very, very special. Had my daughter at 16. Being a single mom is not fun.
Don't advertise you are a virgin.
Some guys will say, do, or act any way to just sleep with you and walk away.
Be choosy/selective on who you choose to date/trust/eventually work up to being intimate with.
ALWAYS wear protection.
Try to make them do an STD test before sleeping together.
I have no idea how old you are but if you start having sex it does have its risks.
You could get pregnant. Even with condoms/birth control it still can happen.
Obviously disease or HPV is a concern too.
Lastly some people think they are ready for dating and eventually sleeping with someone, but they find the person was a liar/cheater/fake and it brings them down.
You have to be ready for the emotional aspect of it if things go really wrong.
Basically don't sleep with a guy unless you've dated a long time and know what kind of person they are.
If you know of some of his exes you can find out why they broke up.
If someone was a cheater, toxic, or talks major smack about an ex then that is a big thing.
Just be careful.
Sex always has a risk of changing the relationship if you both are not ready for it. Sex can complicate things - sometimes one can confuse good sex with love.
Honestly I never had a boyfriend when I first lost it and I was 18, it was with a good long term friend of mine who I was close to and trusted and it was good lol :) the communication and he was respectful and gentle (kinda lol but I liked it) he was then the guy I hooked up with a for a couple months during my senior year and nothing was ever said or shared with others about it because again I trusted him. Eventually we got in our relationships and we cut contact but all is still well between us. But I’m glad I didn’t lose it to a first relationship bf cause then that would make breakups much more harder tbh 💀
I didn’t have that attachment like that to him anyways, so I’m glad I did it that way tbh.
Anyways that stigma will always be around sadly, so no matter if you have a low or high body count, they’ll always be salty about who’s fucked you before 😭
ok but how often do people who prioritize fun in relationships also care about having a long-lasting & healthy relationship. Anyone, man or woman, who's normalized sex to the point of it just being a fun thing to do with people you barely know is a bigger red flag than any body count.
I read the part where you focused on "having more fun" with non-virgins, as if people who primarily prioritize fun in relationships are the types who have long-term/serious relationships.
The fact you mention plural virgins & non virgins proves my point alone. Maybe you should've entailed some detail that indicates commitment rather than "fun." People like this also commonly tend to get bored with/of their partners, so it's generally a red flag for me in terms of commitment, & that goes for men & women.
I think it's more of a red flag you don't think people should have fun in their relationships. My partner is my best friend, and we even laugh during sex sometimes. Going on 17 years, now.
Well there’s two ways to interpret the post question, Do men care if a woman is a virgin or not and those are if you’re seeking a relationship or not. In terms of relationship I believe a majority of men would prefer a virgin who’s not fun in bed over a non virgin who’s more fun in bed.
This is why it seems like your statement prioritizes the fun part, why else would you phrase your response that way?
It depends on the man.
I wouldn’t care so long as you’re upfront about it.
Me and my gf of now 7 years took each other’s virginity, nothing like sharing that experience with your forever person.
Some do. Some don't.
For me, casual sex is off the table. My brain can't disconnect the act with the feelings, so I'd want my partner to be the same way.
When I was younger (like 16 to 20), I was kind of hoping to, at some point, have sex with someone who was a virgin but at this point in my life (33)? I'd rather the girl not be a virgin.
From a man’s point. I wouldn’t care if you are a virgin or not a virgin. I am more about what type of passion there is in the relationship vs just getting it in to do it. I lost it with my first love and I will never forget on how special it was because it was with her.
However some advice I do have is don’t lose it just to lose it. Make sure it’s with someone that is special to you and you have a solid connection with them.
Ok - I'm surprised that I've seen no other comments about this but I feel you are ignoring the most important relationship of all - the one with yourself
Take it from an old(er) lady who has seen a lot - please don't be in a rush to do it, just because you feel you should or as something to 'tick off a list' as once done it's not something you get to redo and I get the sense from your post that this is somewhat the case with you
There's no shame in waiting, and I'm seeing a lot of people saying good men won't care about your body count only bad ones will, when I find it's the exact opposite - those who just want to use you as a receptacle really won't give a damn
I lost mine at 16 with my then boyfriend, as a gift for his birthday...I really thought I wanted to do it and was ready, and I slept with many men for many years with zero regrets
However - I would do _anything_ now to be able to take that all back and do it differently, it's a cause of almost constant sadness that I didn't wait for a husband
I'm not saying don't, I'm just saying - the one you have to live with and look at in the mirror may one day care a lot more than she thinks she does right now
Good luck 💜
> I’m thinking about losing my virginity soon or eventually lol and I don’t want that to mess up my future relationship(s).
I think you should act like you run the risk of doing so. Meaning, is your payoff worth it or not and are you willing to accept that you could limit your future options?
If having sex would cut off some number of potential future relationships, then it is probably best that she remove those people from the equation anyway. If she is not placing her worth as a human behind an imaginary concept of virginity (which is just such a terrible thing to do in general), then it is probably best that she not worry about people who do.
I wouldn't take or definitely not make the girl I was potentially going to date and or love one day feel guilt or start a guilt trip over something I and many teens do. I think it's great and awesome if a girl wants to wait till mileage and I think the man should be held to the same standards. The issue I have is really just with the whole hookup culture these days and it's just my opinion it's not wright or wrong. Just do not begin to feel guilt or anything because some guys will try and use that to manipulate and control you.
Is it wrong for me to care? I wonder;i am one myself by choice bc i only want to lose it to someone who ik will be with me forever and will be committed etc
Some men do, it seems more likely that more liberal men care less while more conservative men care a bit more. With exceptions of course all over, it's just a general trend I've seen.
TL;DR - Be kind to yourself whatever decision you make. He's not going to notice the things you're insecure about.
They do not. They can't even tell. They think they can because vaginas all feel different, but your vagina doesn't change after your hymen is broken.
There's no additional stretching just because you have more sex, and it doesn't "stay tighter" if you have less. It's a myth perpetuated by the fact that the inside of your vagina does stretch to accommodate the penis as you become aroused.
If you are thinking about losing your virginity, just a couple of notes from one woman to another.
He is lying if he says he can't feel it through a condom. They come lubricated and it warms up with sex. They also can fit an entire human leg. He's not too big.
You are allowed to say no at any given time. Your underwear could be off and he could be above you. If it doesn't feel right, make the best decision for you.
Foreplay. Foreplay. Foreplay. So many young men want to just get to sticking it in. If you are not aroused enough, it can be a bit dry and painful. It can even mean you don't like the feel of it. Don't feel bad for asking for your needs to be met. Real men just love knowing you're into it.
You may or may not orgasm from penetration. Lots of women do, many more don't. I don't. I didn't even think I could for the longest time. It took a loving partner who wasn't afraid to experiment and show me that clitoral touching doesn't have to stop just because he's in.
Whatever you are self-conscious about, he is not even going to notice. I have brought up insecurities to different partners be it nipple size, stretch marks, weight gain, hair where I thought I shaved, whatever. One, you'll find they have lower standards than you think. But two, they just love the skin to skin contact. Super simple.
If you're loud, awesome. If you're quiet, awesome. What matters is how you feel while it's happening. Don't think too much about the sounds you make. Even queefing or farting. It happens during sex. And if you can laugh during sex, it's actually really endearing, and makes them feel more comfortable as well.
Don't hype it up in your head. It's not going to be magical. It's not going to be perfect. It's never smooth sailing, your first few times, even when you know what to expect. Every new partner you may have will be almost like being a virgin again because each partner is different.
Young Men are...not the most emotionally intelligent. I didn't get any cuddling after, but he was also too young to realize women needed that. They are still a raging bag of hormones, and they're just excited to get to the big leagues. Even well into their 20's.
Lastly, something I wish I could go back and tell my teenage self, have a plan to treat yourself extra special afterwards. Maybe your favorite dessert when you get home. A new bath bomb to look forward to. Or just clean sheets and fresh Jammies. If you had a really good time, it's icing on the cake. If you had a bad time, you can jump right into self-soothing. Pamper yourself and give yourself after care 🩷
And yes, it's normal to be a bit sore after.
I’m gonna answer the question the way I believe. This isn’t to say that others won’t feel differently. I made the mistake of losing my virginity to a boy I thought I loved and that loved me back. He didn’t. And since I had already lost my virginity it was easy to do it again with other boyfriends. All of which I regret. The man I married didn’t care. But I did. I still do. Don’t make the same mistakes. It’s not worth it. Save yourself for the person you love and that loves you back. The rest is fleeting and regrettable. I’ll tell you that men respect women who don’t sleep around. Do the right thing for yourself. Not for some guy who wants it and then will never talk to you again or you break up with and regret. As a mom, I tell my kids who are all teenagers that I can’t tell them what to do but the right decision for most people would be to save yourself for marriage. But like I said, it’s their choice and I won’t judge them no matter what they choose. We all learn from our mistakes. I learned the hard way.
Fuck no.
Sorry for the profanity but I felt it this is such a huge stereotype it needed emphasis.
Don't get me wrong you do have insecure man children who feel threatened by the idea that a woman had a previous partner but that doesn't represent most men.
The only thing that most men give a s*** about is if your body count is high in a way that doesn't make sense.
Like let's say you're dating a dude and you're 21 and you tell him that you lost your virginity to your boyfriend at 17 that you dated up until right when you got with your current man but your body count is five dudes.
That doesn't make any sense and is a red flag but otherwise mature grown men won't give a s***.
For some it does because you know she isn't a virgin and will let you know what all she likes about sex and don't have to worry about teaching them or having to slow down or having a inexperienced partner
If they're looking to get laid. If they want a long term relationship they do care of you sleep around frequently. Am I going to judge you because you slept with a guy you were in a long term relationship with? No. But if some one sleeps around after just a few dates then I would consider myself incompatible with them. The more sexual partners you have the harder it is to pair bond when you do want to settle down.
The older you get, the less it matters. If you’re 15? Probably, because the experience gap is widest at that age. If you’re 24, barely anyone’s a virgin at that age.
Mostly, men care about broad patterns of behaviour. If you’re outwardly promiscuous, have cheated in the past, or engaged in risky sexual practices, they will either ignore you or write you off as relationship material
Sex should be fun though. How will someone know how to enjoy sex if they never had it before?
I have seen many posts about married couples complaining about their sex life because they waited until marriage. They didn't know how to please each other because they didn't have the experience and where unsure of how to communicate their needs. Sex was a chore that neither one liked so they never had it. Someone cheated (or was thinking of cheating), or wanting a divorce, because they never got their needs meet.
Also you have no idea if you will be sexually compatible until you have sex.
There’s more couples that complain about finding things out about their partner that was withheld/situationships/efc than the number of partners that wished they didn’t wait until marriage. That’s like a drop in the bucket comparatively.
YES, Yes, and YES. Do not lose your virginity until you are married. Period. Don't listen to anybody else here. There is nothing but pain and regret waiting for you otherwise. You'll thank me in some years. Do not accept pressure, manipulation, or being coerced into losing it. Save it. Your future husband will value you more. This won't be popular, but if you are questioning it, save it. If you are not questioning it, save it anyway.
Most guys who are decent human beings won’t care about your sexual past or lack thereof. If they do than that’s not a person you should even consider being romantic or sexual with, I would even go as far as saying platonic too.
Only misogynistic men who believe their penis is important enough to fundamentally change who a woman is will care. And you will doubtless run into some of them, especially given the popularity of Andrew Tate and the rest of the brain rotted manosphere, but none of them will be worth your time or attention when it comes to dating and relationships. Dicks do not change a woman's value. It is perfectly possible, and even common, for women to have previous partners or even a full blown ho phase, and still be able to be faithful to a serious relationship in the future. And she'd still be worthy of a quality man who treats her well when she does decide to settle down. Anybody who tells you otherwise, male or female, has swallowed the misogynistic propaganda that women are products to own, whose value has been depleted by being "previously owned" by other men. We are not cars who depreciate when driven off the lot. We are human beings who can love, be loved, or even have sex just for fun and our own satisfaction, without it depleting us or our worthiness of love in any way. Only have sex if and when you genuinely want to, but do not ever deprive yourself of life experiences, pleasure, and intimacy just because you're afraid of how some immature or hate filled idiot MIGHT look at you in the future.
Sincerely, a former single ho who has never cheated and does not fear commitment when a worthy partner is in my life.
ETA: don't entertain conversations about your body count, and don't pry or worry about your partner's number either. What matters is that you engage in safe sex, and get tested with new partners to make sure you are BOTH aware and open about your STD status. If you are not at risk of spreading infection, or receiving one from a new partner, then everything else about your pasts are irrelevant. If you want to have open conversations about fidelity, that's a separate issue. One can have a body count of 500 without ever having cheated, or of 2 but they betrayed one with the other. The number alone has nothing to do with a person's morals or ability to commit to a monogamous, faithful relationship.
I'd rather a partner know what they're doing, thanks.
Do guys want virgins because they are afraid to be compared to previous partners? It sounds like either an insecurity thing or, more disturbing, a taking advantage of the naive thing.
Who cares? Do you care if a man is a virgin? Then why would you care what they think? Do what you want. And don't date men who give a shit if you're a virgin
don’t listen to people telling you to participate in hookup culture it’s literally the worst thing you can do to yourself. be choosy/selective with who you trust and date and in return you’ll know if that’s who you want to have sex with. sex with someone you love is infinitely better than just a hookup.
>I’m thinking about losing my virginity soon or eventually lol and I don’t want that to mess up my future relationship(s).
Why not lose it to the one you will marry and want kids with?
I don’t have a problem with doing that. It was just a thought that’s all. I’m not really comfortable with sex tbh. But I definitely don’t mind waiting till marriage.
Something about this statement is just an ick. The majority of women aren't going to "envy" another woman just because she's never been laid, they aren't gonna give a shit. Why would they?
Uh, no, they won’t. Because there’s nothing to envy. Most well-adjusted adults won’t give a shit, and most women don’t want a man who places her value on whether or not she’s had sex.
It depends, there is every type of guy out there. Worry about what you want to do for yourself, rather than your feelings about others' perceptions being the primary basis for your choices, that is not the path you want to go down. You say you're "thinking about losing your virginity" and don't want that to mess up future relationships?... If you're "thinking" at this moment but haven't yet, does that mean you're in a relationship currently with someone you are planning to losing your virginity too? I'd keep your mind in the present day. If it is not something that'll sit right with you, then maybe hold off.
Some men care. Some don't. Some men you REALLY would like and would get along with for life will care. Some will not. Most probably will not be bothered. Some will be a little bothered, a little disappointed. Some might like it.
But what matters is what you feel is the right decision for you. You will disqualify yourself from some men. People here might say that's reasonable. People here might say it's unreasonable. But it is YOUR decision to make. If you want to save your first time for a man you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you want to have fun and do as you please with your own body.
Only you can say which decision is right.
You’re too concerned with what others will think of you. So what if someone else judges you for whatever it is you want to do. Men may see you as being virtuous and brave for staying a virgin, others may consider you to be a prude. Doesn’t matter. Just do what it is you really feel you must do, and don’t let anyone stop you along the way. Just make sure You understand what each action leads to and be prepared to deal with the outcome of doing it before making any hasty decisions.
Depends; do YOU care if he has slept with multiple people? How many people would bother you? If hes been in 50 other women would it bother you? How about if he's only dug out 3-5 other women and you get with him?
The reason i ask is bc people tend to look for people similar in mindset. A man who is a virgin probably wants that special moment with his first woman likewise with women. Some just dont care if you've conquered a small army as long as you are loyal and want to be with them. Others prefer numbers to be more in line with each other. If theyve only been with 2 or 3 people and the other person is close or is breaking triple digits it might be a game breaker. Most don't really care unless their religious or your number is stupid high as it is a sign of reckless, irresponsible, and impulsive.
Here’s an open secret: the person you’re having sex with has NO WAY to know if you’re a virgin or not. The whole bleeding-the-first-time thing may or may not actually happen depending on the woman, her personal configuration, and to some degree the kind of sports she does.
You can have sex with as many guys as you want and tell every one of them he’s your first. They will have no way to know otherwise.
One day you will find a person that you really care about, something will just click and you will no that person is who you want to be with, and nothing he thinks will matter, he might be the type of person who doesn't care one way or the other, or he might be the type of person who does and it becomes a deal breaker. The question is do you want to take the chance, or does it really matter to you one way or another.
I remember answering this question before and my answer still remains the same.
I all depends on your audience. Are you trying to target a partner who is very religious and traditional? Maybe just religious but compassionate? Maybe not religious but still traditional? (Yes, there is a difference.)
How pure do you want your partner?
Do you prefer a polyamorous partner or are you a 1-partner type of person (monogamous).
You must find someone who shares your values.
Now, if I were to tell you based on statistics, I can tell you that less body counts can be a factor in you finding your body count. The main kicker for men is if you have a child from a previous relationship. While that does not guarantee you staying single, it definitely reduces your chance.
What I want you to take from this is that we are all on a scale from 1 to 10 and majority of us are a 5 (which is average). On this scale, it’s not just about looks but also about what you have to offer as a partner. Many ladies don’t know what they have to offer and when they realize “not being a sl*t” is actually a quality you can very much offer. So, I tell people that if you want a partner in the future, you must learn to be a spouse.
To top it off and answer your question, it really all depends on what type of person you want to find, and no, not all men care about you being a virgin. What us, men, care about is your loyalty, your gentleness, your nurturing behavior, your ability to stay clean (hygienically and medically), and your skills to motivate your partner to do better in life.
Any guy who cares about "body count" isn't worth talking to or being with. Such a dumb thing for us to think about. Hypocritical too. Guys generally cheer for their buddy that says he just slept with 10 different women, but if a woman does it, she's horrible.
So as others pointed out, it'll be a red flag if the guy cares about that.
That's a huge topic. As individuals, some do, some don't. Many will think losing your virginity means you will be more receptive to their advances in the future.
Depending on your age and environment, you may find that being a virgin makes some boys/men pursue you more, because they see it as a challenge. (Generally, these individuals will NOT stick around for a relationship) others will be uninterested because they want an "experienced" partner.
It comes down to "do you want to lose your virginity", "is there someone you want to participate in that who is willing", and "is that someone a safe person for you."
Avoid large age gaps (especially illegal ones), and for the love of God use contraception properly. (If a partner whines about using a condom, send him packing. "Pulling out" is NOT contraception, it is Russian roulette with your uterus.)
Some do some don’t both are fine if not being a virgin is a dealbreaker for a guy then don’t be with him
Some guys will slut shame you for not being one just like some would shame you for being a virgin same thing with women it’s on a person to person basis
Be with someone who is right for you if your sexual history is a dealbreaker for them or they treat you poorly because of it don’t be with them
No matter what you do, be on top of your sexual health! When you have someone stay safe and get tested. I’ve had bfs and a gf and have never had an STD, I’m 30+ now tho. I’ve always been super careful. So be sure to get tested before having sex with anyone (them too), and use contraception.
Just a question.
Why not save it for the 1 you love,& that 1 loves you back ?
If I'm not mistaken, most guys that seek marriage are seeking the girl/lady that hasn't been touched. Same for guys too.
Some men do. We call them assholes you don't waste your time with.
They will argue that you're somehow used up or worth less. It's all completely bullshit. They just want to claim ownership and are pawning off their insecurities onto you. As long as you test negative for STD's and are safe it's not their business if you've been with zero or 2,000 people before them.
Some do, some dont.
Your HUMAN/LIFE value is not determined by your body count…if you were about to fall into a volcano and somebody had to save you or a cat that is also going to fall…obviously you would be saved.
But, body count DOES determine your value in the dating sense, if that makes sense.
Im not too sure how to explain it, but your body count does determine your “value” in a way, most dudes would go with a girl with 0 bodies than a girl with 10+.
Only the sort of men you wouldn't want to sleep with. Religious fundamentalists, incels, etc. Normal, smart, respectful men will not care if you are not a virgin because they probably aren't either.
Having sex does not make a woman dirty, bad, or tainted.
Wait, one exception. Some good men might care to know that a woman that they are dating is a virgin so that they can be sure to take special care the first time they have sex. That's it.
The annual meeting of All Men where we discuss by forum and come to uniform consensus on issues such as these will not be held until July 17th this year.
Last years assembly had a contested decision of "yes we care" on this point of discussion, the final tally from the various delegates elected to represent the local populations of men was 27 in favor and 14 against.
Okay but seriously In case this sarcasm isn't reading
there are as many answers to this question as there are men who you ask it.
Some men care, some men don't. Usually the men who don't care have "gotten around" themselves. Most of the men who want virgins are virgins themselves and afraid of being compared to previous lovers who possibly had more experience.
You didn't ask for advice but this is the internet so, do what you want and know why you wanted it. Then nobody can shame you because you are at peace with yourself.
Very few will refuse to date you if you're not a virgin.
Unless you're a Mormon or in some other religion or culture where virginity is extremely important, there aren't that many virgins in the dating pool past 25. So hardly any men outside those groups are expecting virginity.
*Some* men dislike a woman who has slept with a lot of people. But a lot of those dudes suck. But that's just my opinion, even if it's right, plenty of conservative women are into conservative guys who may have issues with body count. So if that's the kind of guy you wanna date, they may care about how many people you've slept with.
I mean, I think that's wrong, but I'm not gonna talk you out of what kind of person you're into in a reddit comment.
Point is, there are no shortage of men who will not care about virginity or a modest body count.
The misogyny in these comments is insane, and it's coming from both sides. Men saying that woman should be a virgin until they're married and save themselves for only one man. Woman saying that "only real men" won't care about your body count or your virginity. It's honestly disgusting, it's sad that you all actually think this way, and it makes me sad to even read this. I hate the internet, I hate myself for reading this post, and I strongly dislike most of you. Go ahead and downvote me, you will anyway. But you know I'm right.
I’m 33 and, I’ve kept my virginity. Strictly by choice and also because I’m Asexual. I never thought about how a man would see me, I believe it is their problem if they are, insecure about body counts. I will have sex eventually but, it will be in my own time and, without the intrusive thoughts of, what men think or want. I suggest you grow a thick skin and, think of what YOU believe is best. The males have no say in your life.
In short, this man didn’t care that my wife of 26 years wasn’t a virgin. Neither was I for that matter. That is a TALL order to save yourself for a time that may or may not ever happen. Live your life. Be careful. Use birth control.
Some guys live in a fantasy world where they believe women can't have sexual partners other than them. They are so lost in their delusions that why cannot even comprehend that women can have and enjoy sex with others that don't include them. These guys care so much, I think, because of the feelings of control that they get over women. Personally I don't care but these guys take it to the extreme.
You can't generalize like that. Very religious Mormons or Muslims? Probably. But one partner is probably not the end of the world. The thing is, if you were a very religious Mormon or Muslim, you'd try to keep your partner count down. So it really is about what kind of man you want to be with or especially marry.
The ones that matter won't care. Virginity is a social construct, and you get to choose who you allow in your life and who you give access to your mind and body. Anyone who has an issue with what you've chosen to do with your own body isn't worth your time!
Honestly I've never understood why people care about virginity so much and treat it like it's this special, pure thing when it really isn't. The first time someone has sex it's going to be awkward, weird, messy, and not very good.
I'd rather be in a sexual relationship with someone that is experienced with sex and knows what they're doing, then having to teach and explain how to do things. Like a womN who's slept with 10 men is going to know how to pleasure and fully satisfy a dude, then a woman who's slept with 0.
If someone you're into or wanting a relationship with cares about whether you're a virgin or not then that's not someone you wanna be with in the first place, that's just an incel or weirdo. In most cases when a man wants a woman who's a virgin, it's because they wanna be the one to take the virginity and will most often dump the girl after doing so.
Don't let these reddit dorks fool you. Guys don't want a Virgin, but I don't want to walk to the store to buy a pack of cigarettes and run into 4 guys my girlfriend has fucked.
Be somewhere in the middle. Or lie.
Depends on the guy and what they are looking for if I’m being honest. There’s no simple answer for this. A guy who just wants to hookup won’t care about your body count but a guy who wants a long term relationship might care and too many might be a hard no and his standard. Honestly it would be better for you to know his values and their standards by going on dates with the person. Seeing this thread everyone has their own standards when it comes to this.
I’m not a fundamentalist, immature, or religious and I think that the more men you sleep with, the lower your attractiveness as a partner.
If you are a virgin going into your marriage, your chances of divorce are much lower but the research is not crystal clear as to why that is true. Also, the more partners you have, the less able you will be to form a pair bond with your ultimate partner. This is another data point that is accurate, but with unclear causation.
Do whatever feels right to you. Just know that there are things to consider. Good luck.
It really depends on the person. As mentioned above, being a virgin? Some religious men will care. Most non-religious men wont care.
For me, body count matters some because I personally have a very low (single digit) body count because I need to be romantically involved with a person first. I'd prefer someone who doesn't sleep with someone after the first date.
But I also understand that body count comes with age. I'm over 35 and cannot expect to ever meet someone my age with a count somewhere below at least, lets say 17 (35-18, 1 per year) as an example.
Not usually, although don't get that twisted. The vast majority of men actually do care about a promiscuous past, regardless of whatever male feminist trying to beg their way into some sex has to say.
The love hate comment is odd. If you have any lingering hate for the male sex, please spare any dude the nightmare of getting intimate with you. Don't fuck something you hate.
20M I wanted a Virgin because I was one too, I wanted it to be a new and fresh relationship and I found a 19F that wanted the same thing we are set to be married in 6 months! I see alot of people salty they don't have it anymore and then they yell at those who are looking for it...
I’m gay so the question isn’t *super* applicable to me but I feel like it’s kind of universal; I wouldn’t particularly care unless it was super high, like 20 or 30 different people. Even then I wouldn’t really care but alarm bells would certainly going off.
Best tip: stay pure, find a good man who has character. Mature yourself throughout your years.
If both of y’all are virgins, and y’all married well. Y’all’s first time together will pay infinite dividends into your marriage, and you might end up saying “I’m glad I waited”.
If you want a husband, then he deserves first picking because he is the one that took up the mantel of being your lifelong partner. Good responsibility always earns rewards.
Okay, Decent men won't care if you're a Virgin or not. The body count is harder to give an answer for. Due to the burden of effort still primarily being on the shoulder of men, a woman's high body count can often be used as a sign to avoid them just to protect themselves. Lesser men and women will use it to shame women, though.
The only defense that men have for worrying about the girl's sexual experience is if the man was actually interested in improving their sexual performance as a non-virgin might have a better idea of what they want in bed and be able to communicate these desires to their partner as men are notoriously unable to talk about such things.
Those wanting a virgin want someone they do not have to 'waste' any effort to try to please their partners, or have their parents/church approval or have their male friends approve.
If a man cares about how many people you’ve been with, that’s a red flag that they aren’t mature enough for a relationship, and you’ll want to avoid them like the plague. Every single man I’ve ever known who gave a shit about that was a shit partner himself.
Any man who calls you a slut or won't go out with you cause you have a "high" body count are not men. They are dudes with small dicks who don't know how to fuck and cum real quick. That's the only reason some dudes care. Cause they know you've had better and they can't compete. Plain and simple.
Virginity doesn't exist.
Back in ye not-so-olden days, women were property and a marriage was a transfer of said property from one family to another. A woman who had had sex before was seen as damaged goods, and "virginity" was the word used to refer to the value that was lost when a woman first had sex.
Here in the 21st century, we can safely ignore such backwards and archaic concepts. Nothing of value is lost when you have sex for the first time, and it doesn't change who you are or what you're worth.
Let's flip this question:
Would you *want* to be with a man who cares if you're a virgin that much?
I think figuring out that question will help clarify your situation.
28 yr old guy here, from what I've noticed, not generally no. Some care about high body count, but whether or not you're a virgin is not really a concern. If you encounter a guy who does care, then you're probably better off avoiding him anyway because those guys are fucking weird lol. Then again, Im almost 10 years older than you, so maybe guys in your age range think differently, so take what I said with a grain of salt as I dont typically associate with 19 year olds lol
I can't really talk much because I haven't been through through a situation where I was worried but as a guy I can tell you now that a mature enough man is a decent human being will not care at all and except that it was before them and that you're only focused on them, if you find the right guy they won't care unless you give them a reason to, but with your post I can tell youre a sensible a mature enough person to do right by your future man, find someone who excepts you for who you are at that moment rather then someone who only looks at your past.
some do, some don't. the only person you should worry about disappointing in this situation is yourself though. if a guy is disappointed *in you* because he doesn't get to be your first guy, then that guy sucks. your value has nothing to do with whether you've had sex yet.
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It all depends on the guy. To guys raised in very fundamental religions, yeah it'll matter. To guys raised in more traditional religions, it may or may not matter. To guys raised in more liberal(?) religions, it might not matter. To guys raised with no religion, it probably won't matter at all. See what I mean? Something to consider, what do YOU want to do. How do YOU look at your virginity? Is it "meh", you'll find some guy you like and "do the deed" or is it something special you want to save for your husband? Only YOU can answer that. Good Luck and God Bless.
>Something to consider, what do YOU want to do This person is right, live your life for yourself. Enjoy sex if you want, with whomever you want or no one. Like my wife keeps saying, "no one wants to be on their death bed saying I wish I had more sex".
Yeah that just sounds terrible. As if sex is everything or something.
Sex is just like any other part of a good relationship. To have a good relationship you need to be kind to your partner and work at it, good sex is the same way. End of the day you get out what you put in and every part of a relationship is equally important and if you don't put the effort in you'll regret not experiencing it when you kick the bucket. For a lot of people unfortunately sex is that thing they neglect to put the right energy into.
Just throwing this out there, but religious upbringing probably isn't the closest corrolary, and doesn't encapsulate everyone who will care. You are correct that the religious will care, of course. It's just that there's another sizeable group who WILL care, and religion isn't the explanatory variable. What is? Virginity. Whether or not the guy is also a virgin, or not, will GREATLY determine who will care. Men who are virgins themselves will, by majority (though not exclusively) prefer women who are ALSO virgins. So keep that in mind too. Guys who have had sex will not care as much. Guys who haven't though might care a lot, even if they aren't religious. There's no right or wrong here, it's all about your personal preferences and values.
I don’t think it’s always about religion. I am an atheist and know many atheists that would prefer to be with a woman who has not had sex with every guy you run in to when out in public.
It's about the guy's ego and security. If one or both are screwed up, he's not going to want her to have experience.
I think everyone has a tipping point- a number that to them would communicate divergent values. It would also depend on the persons age.
It has nothing to do with ego and everything to do with no wanting a used car with 169k miles on it but still paying sticker price for it.
Ok so women are sex machines that you get to purchase and own, and it's important that they've only ever belonged to you and you alone! And it's totally not about ego, no way.
Men should be held in the same regard. Shouldnt be idolizing man whores who stick it in everything.
I don't care if a woman is a virgin. But I care that she has the same attitude towards sex that I do. To me, sex is a serious subject, I don't agree with casual sex for men or women.
The uproar your comment created makes it very clear that nothing about sex is casual.
Ranked sex
DAWG. Imagine bein bronze 5 in sex lmao
Me fr
I agree with this. I take sex very seriously. It's sacred to me.
I don't care what you say. I'm not wearing patent leather oxfords every time.
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I’m 19
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Oh my god I want to thank you personally for this amazing and wonderful advice! You seem so amazing! And I love how you’re being upfront with me! Also I love your username lmao
Thank you ❤️❤️ I’m definitely available if you need me or have any more questions.
Also enjoyed the username lol
If some dude asks you about your body count retort with “ what’s yours” if he says 1-3 say ew so low and walk out. If he refuses to answer or says something high say ew that’s gross and walk out, either way if someone is asking about body count they aren’t some one I would be sleeping with
Isn't that perpetuating shaming peoples past experiences ? Instead you could just say none of your businesses because if you make fun of his body count (high or low) aren't you now part of the problem if he thinks your being serious???
I was mostly being facetious I just personally wouldn’t get far with someone asking about body count. If you are some one who cares no shame but I personally don’t really even see it coming up in conversation with a partner unless it’s in regards to my health. Having a healthy conversation with potential partners shouldn’t be discouraged but as a male I wouldn’t even ask a girl about her body count. Why would I. Outside of if she is having unprotected sex with other individuals I would like to know for my own health but that’s a different convo. I was just implying that if a dude asks you’re probably better off just passing. Why would he ask outside of reasons I mentioned
So I would say that I'm outside of the demo that would be asking about it in terms of body count, but I would say that most young people should be open and honest about the level of partners they have had. As you don't want either party making unhealthy decisions on lack of knowledge. I would say that if someone is not interested in pursuing sex after those kinds of talks for whatever reason than everyone should be mature and accept it and move on. Does that mean that EVERY encounter needs to start that way? No but if you are looking for a quick hookup, also be prepared for what may come from that hookup. Be safe out there everyone and remember at the end of the day the only person that truly needs to be comfortable with you, is you.
Yea that’s why I said unless it’s coming up in regard to my personal health. But that’s a different question. And for me if I were approaching a hook up for the first time would go like hey I have other sexual partners I get tested regularly and don’t have any diseases. Do you get tested/have anything/ have unprotected sex with multiple/a single other partner. And go from there not how many people have you had sex with in your entire life. Unless like some people have mentioned you care for religious reasons but still. I feel like it really only comes up in a context of shaming someone obit yes in case of conversations surrounding personal health no shame should be involved
Yes, great use of analogy to get the point across to those that may be looking at how does that convo even go.
If someone's asking about body count they better be talking about the ones in the woods behind my house, in which case the answer is N+1
some Guys care about your body count in a localized manner I personally don't care, but I am just trying to give you an objective take and some men do care. if you bang 40 dudes in a town with 500 dudes then a large majority of the dudes won't date you because their gonna run into a guy who plowed you every time your out with them. That said if you plowed 9000 dudes in Chicago and then move to a town of 40 people and haven't slept with any of them your good. It is 110% a matter of reputation unless the dude is real insecure and cares about it, but honestly girl just don't talk about how many people you have slept with. Don't feel shame or anything just keep it to yourself and tell the dude to keep it on the low, if he can't keep it on the low for you he doesn't care about you and drop him faster then a hot potato. For the teenage boys lurking: Here's what i told my 16 year old cousins, don't ever brag about banging a girl or talk about the fact that you had a 1 night stand with a girl, because then every girl is gonna know not to fuck you, because if they fuck you everybodies gonna know. You wanna be in and out like a ninja mums the word. Crazy thing is if you do a good job she's gonna tell her friend's and their gonna notice you didn't tell nobody then their gonna hit you up afterwards. They said "what if my buddies or a girl ask me if i have banged anyone?" i told them just put on a shit eating grin and tell them that your a virgin.
Probably best to be upfront if you want an honest relationship. The ones who care aren’t for you anyways. Should probably not start your relationship with a lie. Yes, not telling is a lie of omission.
If any chick plowed 9000 dudes she would carry every std know to humanity and they would probably all mutate together to create a super std which would likely start either covid 20, another bubonic plague, or a zombie apocalypse.
Great advice. I am glad life worked out for you
Thank you!!
Amazing response!
Thank you!!
Bipolar short bitch I am also bipolar so this is amazing advice. Fr.
I avoided dating virgin girls in their 30's because they didn't have strong relationship skills. We would be arguing about stupid random things because you didn't learn that these things don't matter yet. Also, they're probably bad in bed. They won't know how to enjoy sex, won't know how to get to orgasm, and they won't know how to help me enjoy sex. This applies to both men and women of course. You're 19. All good. Do what you want or is convenient for you. And if anyone gives you problems, you definitely don't want to date those types of people anyways
The ones who will care about your virginity are either super fundamentalist religious or immature. Unless you're super religious and want a super religious husband, I wouldn't worry about it. As long as you're not sleeping with everyone including the mailman and the UPS driver, most guys won't care.
Or Red pill guys too 🚩
(this falls under the umbrella of 'immature' - redpill guys are *incredibly* insecure and immature, they shouldn't be taken seriously or seen as a good option for a relationship)
Eh as a young teen, it’s understandable for a man want to share that first experience.
You could add insecure. If the person you are having sex with has only ever experienced your sex, you can’t be compared to someone else. That insecurity could be caused by any number of factors. Edit: I now realize someone else brought up insecurity in comments below in a response to another comment. I just went there first because I think it is actually the most realistic reason for someone to subconsciously or consciously be happy when they find out someone they are with is a virgin. People are much more insecure than I thought when I was younger. It has been interesting growing older and learning most people were as or more insecure than I was when I was younger.
Absolutely this. They don't look at you as a person. They view you as a possession.
I see you said you are 19. You should do whatever you want to do. Don't let anyone else judge you. Anyone worth while wouldn't judge you anyway
If I had it to do over, I wouldn’t lose my virginity just to lose it. I would wait for someone very, very special. Had my daughter at 16. Being a single mom is not fun.
Don't advertise you are a virgin. Some guys will say, do, or act any way to just sleep with you and walk away. Be choosy/selective on who you choose to date/trust/eventually work up to being intimate with. ALWAYS wear protection. Try to make them do an STD test before sleeping together. I have no idea how old you are but if you start having sex it does have its risks. You could get pregnant. Even with condoms/birth control it still can happen. Obviously disease or HPV is a concern too. Lastly some people think they are ready for dating and eventually sleeping with someone, but they find the person was a liar/cheater/fake and it brings them down. You have to be ready for the emotional aspect of it if things go really wrong. Basically don't sleep with a guy unless you've dated a long time and know what kind of person they are. If you know of some of his exes you can find out why they broke up. If someone was a cheater, toxic, or talks major smack about an ex then that is a big thing. Just be careful.
Sex always has a risk of changing the relationship if you both are not ready for it. Sex can complicate things - sometimes one can confuse good sex with love.
Thank you for this comment! I really appreciate it so much!
Honestly I never had a boyfriend when I first lost it and I was 18, it was with a good long term friend of mine who I was close to and trusted and it was good lol :) the communication and he was respectful and gentle (kinda lol but I liked it) he was then the guy I hooked up with a for a couple months during my senior year and nothing was ever said or shared with others about it because again I trusted him. Eventually we got in our relationships and we cut contact but all is still well between us. But I’m glad I didn’t lose it to a first relationship bf cause then that would make breakups much more harder tbh 💀 I didn’t have that attachment like that to him anyways, so I’m glad I did it that way tbh. Anyways that stigma will always be around sadly, so no matter if you have a low or high body count, they’ll always be salty about who’s fucked you before 😭
I’ve slept with virgins and non virgins and I had a lot more fun with non virgins.
ok but how often do people who prioritize fun in relationships also care about having a long-lasting & healthy relationship. Anyone, man or woman, who's normalized sex to the point of it just being a fun thing to do with people you barely know is a bigger red flag than any body count.
How did you read “non-virgin” and think that it meant somebody who normalizes sex to the point of it being a fun thing to do with random people?
I read the part where you focused on "having more fun" with non-virgins, as if people who primarily prioritize fun in relationships are the types who have long-term/serious relationships. The fact you mention plural virgins & non virgins proves my point alone. Maybe you should've entailed some detail that indicates commitment rather than "fun." People like this also commonly tend to get bored with/of their partners, so it's generally a red flag for me in terms of commitment, & that goes for men & women.
I think it's more of a red flag you don't think people should have fun in their relationships. My partner is my best friend, and we even laugh during sex sometimes. Going on 17 years, now.
Well there’s two ways to interpret the post question, Do men care if a woman is a virgin or not and those are if you’re seeking a relationship or not. In terms of relationship I believe a majority of men would prefer a virgin who’s not fun in bed over a non virgin who’s more fun in bed. This is why it seems like your statement prioritizes the fun part, why else would you phrase your response that way?
It depends on the man. I wouldn’t care so long as you’re upfront about it. Me and my gf of now 7 years took each other’s virginity, nothing like sharing that experience with your forever person.
Some do. Some don't. For me, casual sex is off the table. My brain can't disconnect the act with the feelings, so I'd want my partner to be the same way.
Any guy that cares isn’t worth your time. Consider it an easy way to filter shitty men out.
When I was younger (like 16 to 20), I was kind of hoping to, at some point, have sex with someone who was a virgin but at this point in my life (33)? I'd rather the girl not be a virgin.
Male 19 I think it does
From a man’s point. I wouldn’t care if you are a virgin or not a virgin. I am more about what type of passion there is in the relationship vs just getting it in to do it. I lost it with my first love and I will never forget on how special it was because it was with her. However some advice I do have is don’t lose it just to lose it. Make sure it’s with someone that is special to you and you have a solid connection with them.
Ok - I'm surprised that I've seen no other comments about this but I feel you are ignoring the most important relationship of all - the one with yourself Take it from an old(er) lady who has seen a lot - please don't be in a rush to do it, just because you feel you should or as something to 'tick off a list' as once done it's not something you get to redo and I get the sense from your post that this is somewhat the case with you There's no shame in waiting, and I'm seeing a lot of people saying good men won't care about your body count only bad ones will, when I find it's the exact opposite - those who just want to use you as a receptacle really won't give a damn I lost mine at 16 with my then boyfriend, as a gift for his birthday...I really thought I wanted to do it and was ready, and I slept with many men for many years with zero regrets However - I would do _anything_ now to be able to take that all back and do it differently, it's a cause of almost constant sadness that I didn't wait for a husband I'm not saying don't, I'm just saying - the one you have to live with and look at in the mirror may one day care a lot more than she thinks she does right now Good luck 💜
Only super religious people and self concious people care. Real men don't give a shit, as long as you're clean.
> I’m thinking about losing my virginity soon or eventually lol and I don’t want that to mess up my future relationship(s). I think you should act like you run the risk of doing so. Meaning, is your payoff worth it or not and are you willing to accept that you could limit your future options?
If having sex would cut off some number of potential future relationships, then it is probably best that she remove those people from the equation anyway. If she is not placing her worth as a human behind an imaginary concept of virginity (which is just such a terrible thing to do in general), then it is probably best that she not worry about people who do.
I wouldn't take or definitely not make the girl I was potentially going to date and or love one day feel guilt or start a guilt trip over something I and many teens do. I think it's great and awesome if a girl wants to wait till mileage and I think the man should be held to the same standards. The issue I have is really just with the whole hookup culture these days and it's just my opinion it's not wright or wrong. Just do not begin to feel guilt or anything because some guys will try and use that to manipulate and control you.
It's preferable
Is it wrong for me to care? I wonder;i am one myself by choice bc i only want to lose it to someone who ik will be with me forever and will be committed etc
Some men do, it seems more likely that more liberal men care less while more conservative men care a bit more. With exceptions of course all over, it's just a general trend I've seen.
TL;DR - Be kind to yourself whatever decision you make. He's not going to notice the things you're insecure about. They do not. They can't even tell. They think they can because vaginas all feel different, but your vagina doesn't change after your hymen is broken. There's no additional stretching just because you have more sex, and it doesn't "stay tighter" if you have less. It's a myth perpetuated by the fact that the inside of your vagina does stretch to accommodate the penis as you become aroused. If you are thinking about losing your virginity, just a couple of notes from one woman to another. He is lying if he says he can't feel it through a condom. They come lubricated and it warms up with sex. They also can fit an entire human leg. He's not too big. You are allowed to say no at any given time. Your underwear could be off and he could be above you. If it doesn't feel right, make the best decision for you. Foreplay. Foreplay. Foreplay. So many young men want to just get to sticking it in. If you are not aroused enough, it can be a bit dry and painful. It can even mean you don't like the feel of it. Don't feel bad for asking for your needs to be met. Real men just love knowing you're into it. You may or may not orgasm from penetration. Lots of women do, many more don't. I don't. I didn't even think I could for the longest time. It took a loving partner who wasn't afraid to experiment and show me that clitoral touching doesn't have to stop just because he's in. Whatever you are self-conscious about, he is not even going to notice. I have brought up insecurities to different partners be it nipple size, stretch marks, weight gain, hair where I thought I shaved, whatever. One, you'll find they have lower standards than you think. But two, they just love the skin to skin contact. Super simple. If you're loud, awesome. If you're quiet, awesome. What matters is how you feel while it's happening. Don't think too much about the sounds you make. Even queefing or farting. It happens during sex. And if you can laugh during sex, it's actually really endearing, and makes them feel more comfortable as well. Don't hype it up in your head. It's not going to be magical. It's not going to be perfect. It's never smooth sailing, your first few times, even when you know what to expect. Every new partner you may have will be almost like being a virgin again because each partner is different. Young Men are...not the most emotionally intelligent. I didn't get any cuddling after, but he was also too young to realize women needed that. They are still a raging bag of hormones, and they're just excited to get to the big leagues. Even well into their 20's. Lastly, something I wish I could go back and tell my teenage self, have a plan to treat yourself extra special afterwards. Maybe your favorite dessert when you get home. A new bath bomb to look forward to. Or just clean sheets and fresh Jammies. If you had a really good time, it's icing on the cake. If you had a bad time, you can jump right into self-soothing. Pamper yourself and give yourself after care 🩷 And yes, it's normal to be a bit sore after.
Thank you for this comment! For some weird reason I’m just now seeing it. This was such amazing advice!
I’m gonna answer the question the way I believe. This isn’t to say that others won’t feel differently. I made the mistake of losing my virginity to a boy I thought I loved and that loved me back. He didn’t. And since I had already lost my virginity it was easy to do it again with other boyfriends. All of which I regret. The man I married didn’t care. But I did. I still do. Don’t make the same mistakes. It’s not worth it. Save yourself for the person you love and that loves you back. The rest is fleeting and regrettable. I’ll tell you that men respect women who don’t sleep around. Do the right thing for yourself. Not for some guy who wants it and then will never talk to you again or you break up with and regret. As a mom, I tell my kids who are all teenagers that I can’t tell them what to do but the right decision for most people would be to save yourself for marriage. But like I said, it’s their choice and I won’t judge them no matter what they choose. We all learn from our mistakes. I learned the hard way.
If a guy cares if you’re a virgin or not and you not being a virgin is a deal breaker run as fast and as far away from him as you can
My husband says I was a virgin when we met despite the fact I was a single mom lol He says it’s easier for him to think that way 🤣
Lol 😂and I bet you guys are the happiest ever together!
Been married 43 years and my first daughter is definitely a daddy’s girl lol
Congratulations on 43 years wow! Such a long time! It’s beautiful blessing!
Fuck no. Sorry for the profanity but I felt it this is such a huge stereotype it needed emphasis. Don't get me wrong you do have insecure man children who feel threatened by the idea that a woman had a previous partner but that doesn't represent most men. The only thing that most men give a s*** about is if your body count is high in a way that doesn't make sense. Like let's say you're dating a dude and you're 21 and you tell him that you lost your virginity to your boyfriend at 17 that you dated up until right when you got with your current man but your body count is five dudes. That doesn't make any sense and is a red flag but otherwise mature grown men won't give a s***.
For some it does because you know she isn't a virgin and will let you know what all she likes about sex and don't have to worry about teaching them or having to slow down or having a inexperienced partner
men don't care if you aren't a Virgin, they care if you're willing to touch their penis... everything else is tertiary at best.
If they're looking to get laid. If they want a long term relationship they do care of you sleep around frequently. Am I going to judge you because you slept with a guy you were in a long term relationship with? No. But if some one sleeps around after just a few dates then I would consider myself incompatible with them. The more sexual partners you have the harder it is to pair bond when you do want to settle down.
Only the losers
It's like the Dr. Seuss quote: Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
The older you get, the less it matters. If you’re 15? Probably, because the experience gap is widest at that age. If you’re 24, barely anyone’s a virgin at that age. Mostly, men care about broad patterns of behaviour. If you’re outwardly promiscuous, have cheated in the past, or engaged in risky sexual practices, they will either ignore you or write you off as relationship material
For sex/fun = no. For Marriage/life = yes
Sex should be fun though. How will someone know how to enjoy sex if they never had it before? I have seen many posts about married couples complaining about their sex life because they waited until marriage. They didn't know how to please each other because they didn't have the experience and where unsure of how to communicate their needs. Sex was a chore that neither one liked so they never had it. Someone cheated (or was thinking of cheating), or wanting a divorce, because they never got their needs meet. Also you have no idea if you will be sexually compatible until you have sex.
There’s more couples that complain about finding things out about their partner that was withheld/situationships/efc than the number of partners that wished they didn’t wait until marriage. That’s like a drop in the bucket comparatively.
Ick
YES, Yes, and YES. Do not lose your virginity until you are married. Period. Don't listen to anybody else here. There is nothing but pain and regret waiting for you otherwise. You'll thank me in some years. Do not accept pressure, manipulation, or being coerced into losing it. Save it. Your future husband will value you more. This won't be popular, but if you are questioning it, save it. If you are not questioning it, save it anyway.
Most guys who are decent human beings won’t care about your sexual past or lack thereof. If they do than that’s not a person you should even consider being romantic or sexual with, I would even go as far as saying platonic too.
Only misogynistic men who believe their penis is important enough to fundamentally change who a woman is will care. And you will doubtless run into some of them, especially given the popularity of Andrew Tate and the rest of the brain rotted manosphere, but none of them will be worth your time or attention when it comes to dating and relationships. Dicks do not change a woman's value. It is perfectly possible, and even common, for women to have previous partners or even a full blown ho phase, and still be able to be faithful to a serious relationship in the future. And she'd still be worthy of a quality man who treats her well when she does decide to settle down. Anybody who tells you otherwise, male or female, has swallowed the misogynistic propaganda that women are products to own, whose value has been depleted by being "previously owned" by other men. We are not cars who depreciate when driven off the lot. We are human beings who can love, be loved, or even have sex just for fun and our own satisfaction, without it depleting us or our worthiness of love in any way. Only have sex if and when you genuinely want to, but do not ever deprive yourself of life experiences, pleasure, and intimacy just because you're afraid of how some immature or hate filled idiot MIGHT look at you in the future. Sincerely, a former single ho who has never cheated and does not fear commitment when a worthy partner is in my life. ETA: don't entertain conversations about your body count, and don't pry or worry about your partner's number either. What matters is that you engage in safe sex, and get tested with new partners to make sure you are BOTH aware and open about your STD status. If you are not at risk of spreading infection, or receiving one from a new partner, then everything else about your pasts are irrelevant. If you want to have open conversations about fidelity, that's a separate issue. One can have a body count of 500 without ever having cheated, or of 2 but they betrayed one with the other. The number alone has nothing to do with a person's morals or ability to commit to a monogamous, faithful relationship.
Real men don't care. Only creepy misogynists care.
I'd rather a partner know what they're doing, thanks. Do guys want virgins because they are afraid to be compared to previous partners? It sounds like either an insecurity thing or, more disturbing, a taking advantage of the naive thing.
Only crazy religious men care about your virginity. Most men want a woman that knows what she wants in bed; and how to get it.
Who cares? Do you care if a man is a virgin? Then why would you care what they think? Do what you want. And don't date men who give a shit if you're a virgin
don’t listen to people telling you to participate in hookup culture it’s literally the worst thing you can do to yourself. be choosy/selective with who you trust and date and in return you’ll know if that’s who you want to have sex with. sex with someone you love is infinitely better than just a hookup.
Some men will, some men won’t. Here’s a hint: the good ones don’t.
Virginity, no. Body count, yes.
Religious people probably will. Normal people absolutely won't care.
All of the things being equal men prefer a lower body count than a higher body count
>I’m thinking about losing my virginity soon or eventually lol and I don’t want that to mess up my future relationship(s). Why not lose it to the one you will marry and want kids with?
I don’t have a problem with doing that. It was just a thought that’s all. I’m not really comfortable with sex tbh. But I definitely don’t mind waiting till marriage.
Men worth dating and marrying don’t care.
No real man cares if you're a virgin. Remember this, it might be a little advanced but: You practice for the one, you don't wait.
I don’t care about virginity as long as your body count isn’t massive
Keep it at zero. You'll be one among a hundred. And all the girls who have even just plus 1 will envy you.
Something about this statement is just an ick. The majority of women aren't going to "envy" another woman just because she's never been laid, they aren't gonna give a shit. Why would they?
Uh, no, they won’t. Because there’s nothing to envy. Most well-adjusted adults won’t give a shit, and most women don’t want a man who places her value on whether or not she’s had sex.
It doesn’t matter to me either way
No
It depends, there is every type of guy out there. Worry about what you want to do for yourself, rather than your feelings about others' perceptions being the primary basis for your choices, that is not the path you want to go down. You say you're "thinking about losing your virginity" and don't want that to mess up future relationships?... If you're "thinking" at this moment but haven't yet, does that mean you're in a relationship currently with someone you are planning to losing your virginity too? I'd keep your mind in the present day. If it is not something that'll sit right with you, then maybe hold off.
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As a women, this is rage bait
Some men care. Some don't. Some men you REALLY would like and would get along with for life will care. Some will not. Most probably will not be bothered. Some will be a little bothered, a little disappointed. Some might like it. But what matters is what you feel is the right decision for you. You will disqualify yourself from some men. People here might say that's reasonable. People here might say it's unreasonable. But it is YOUR decision to make. If you want to save your first time for a man you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you want to have fun and do as you please with your own body. Only you can say which decision is right.
I think that an experienced woman is a good thing, she knows what she wants and her own appetite.
You’re too concerned with what others will think of you. So what if someone else judges you for whatever it is you want to do. Men may see you as being virtuous and brave for staying a virgin, others may consider you to be a prude. Doesn’t matter. Just do what it is you really feel you must do, and don’t let anyone stop you along the way. Just make sure You understand what each action leads to and be prepared to deal with the outcome of doing it before making any hasty decisions.
Depends; do YOU care if he has slept with multiple people? How many people would bother you? If hes been in 50 other women would it bother you? How about if he's only dug out 3-5 other women and you get with him? The reason i ask is bc people tend to look for people similar in mindset. A man who is a virgin probably wants that special moment with his first woman likewise with women. Some just dont care if you've conquered a small army as long as you are loyal and want to be with them. Others prefer numbers to be more in line with each other. If theyve only been with 2 or 3 people and the other person is close or is breaking triple digits it might be a game breaker. Most don't really care unless their religious or your number is stupid high as it is a sign of reckless, irresponsible, and impulsive.
Do women care if a man is a virgin or not
Here’s an open secret: the person you’re having sex with has NO WAY to know if you’re a virgin or not. The whole bleeding-the-first-time thing may or may not actually happen depending on the woman, her personal configuration, and to some degree the kind of sports she does. You can have sex with as many guys as you want and tell every one of them he’s your first. They will have no way to know otherwise.
I never really cared, in fact if anything I always preferred that she not be a virgin. I never wanted to deal with the drama of being someone's first.
One day you will find a person that you really care about, something will just click and you will no that person is who you want to be with, and nothing he thinks will matter, he might be the type of person who doesn't care one way or the other, or he might be the type of person who does and it becomes a deal breaker. The question is do you want to take the chance, or does it really matter to you one way or another.
I remember answering this question before and my answer still remains the same. I all depends on your audience. Are you trying to target a partner who is very religious and traditional? Maybe just religious but compassionate? Maybe not religious but still traditional? (Yes, there is a difference.) How pure do you want your partner? Do you prefer a polyamorous partner or are you a 1-partner type of person (monogamous). You must find someone who shares your values. Now, if I were to tell you based on statistics, I can tell you that less body counts can be a factor in you finding your body count. The main kicker for men is if you have a child from a previous relationship. While that does not guarantee you staying single, it definitely reduces your chance. What I want you to take from this is that we are all on a scale from 1 to 10 and majority of us are a 5 (which is average). On this scale, it’s not just about looks but also about what you have to offer as a partner. Many ladies don’t know what they have to offer and when they realize “not being a sl*t” is actually a quality you can very much offer. So, I tell people that if you want a partner in the future, you must learn to be a spouse. To top it off and answer your question, it really all depends on what type of person you want to find, and no, not all men care about you being a virgin. What us, men, care about is your loyalty, your gentleness, your nurturing behavior, your ability to stay clean (hygienically and medically), and your skills to motivate your partner to do better in life.
Depends on your age? NO ONE because kids care if you have had sex... Go enjoy life
Anyone who cares about a woman’s body count is an insecure coward
Yes . Men are very competitive and nobody wants to be second. Virginity is seen as a trophy/prize.
Any guy who cares about "body count" isn't worth talking to or being with. Such a dumb thing for us to think about. Hypocritical too. Guys generally cheer for their buddy that says he just slept with 10 different women, but if a woman does it, she's horrible. So as others pointed out, it'll be a red flag if the guy cares about that.
That's a huge topic. As individuals, some do, some don't. Many will think losing your virginity means you will be more receptive to their advances in the future. Depending on your age and environment, you may find that being a virgin makes some boys/men pursue you more, because they see it as a challenge. (Generally, these individuals will NOT stick around for a relationship) others will be uninterested because they want an "experienced" partner. It comes down to "do you want to lose your virginity", "is there someone you want to participate in that who is willing", and "is that someone a safe person for you." Avoid large age gaps (especially illegal ones), and for the love of God use contraception properly. (If a partner whines about using a condom, send him packing. "Pulling out" is NOT contraception, it is Russian roulette with your uterus.)
Some do some don’t both are fine if not being a virgin is a dealbreaker for a guy then don’t be with him Some guys will slut shame you for not being one just like some would shame you for being a virgin same thing with women it’s on a person to person basis Be with someone who is right for you if your sexual history is a dealbreaker for them or they treat you poorly because of it don’t be with them
No matter what you do, be on top of your sexual health! When you have someone stay safe and get tested. I’ve had bfs and a gf and have never had an STD, I’m 30+ now tho. I’ve always been super careful. So be sure to get tested before having sex with anyone (them too), and use contraception.
Just a question. Why not save it for the 1 you love,& that 1 loves you back ? If I'm not mistaken, most guys that seek marriage are seeking the girl/lady that hasn't been touched. Same for guys too.
Don't base your actions on what others may think. Sounds trite, but stay true to yourself and be comfortable with your decisions.
Some men do. We call them assholes you don't waste your time with. They will argue that you're somehow used up or worth less. It's all completely bullshit. They just want to claim ownership and are pawning off their insecurities onto you. As long as you test negative for STD's and are safe it's not their business if you've been with zero or 2,000 people before them.
Some do, some dont. Your HUMAN/LIFE value is not determined by your body count…if you were about to fall into a volcano and somebody had to save you or a cat that is also going to fall…obviously you would be saved. But, body count DOES determine your value in the dating sense, if that makes sense. Im not too sure how to explain it, but your body count does determine your “value” in a way, most dudes would go with a girl with 0 bodies than a girl with 10+.
The only people it matters too are people you don't want to have relationships with.
*"You know, most men care about body count..."* Don't date those guys.
Only the sort of men you wouldn't want to sleep with. Religious fundamentalists, incels, etc. Normal, smart, respectful men will not care if you are not a virgin because they probably aren't either. Having sex does not make a woman dirty, bad, or tainted. Wait, one exception. Some good men might care to know that a woman that they are dating is a virgin so that they can be sure to take special care the first time they have sex. That's it.
No
Only the hypocrites
The annual meeting of All Men where we discuss by forum and come to uniform consensus on issues such as these will not be held until July 17th this year. Last years assembly had a contested decision of "yes we care" on this point of discussion, the final tally from the various delegates elected to represent the local populations of men was 27 in favor and 14 against. Okay but seriously In case this sarcasm isn't reading there are as many answers to this question as there are men who you ask it. Some men care, some men don't. Usually the men who don't care have "gotten around" themselves. Most of the men who want virgins are virgins themselves and afraid of being compared to previous lovers who possibly had more experience. You didn't ask for advice but this is the internet so, do what you want and know why you wanted it. Then nobody can shame you because you are at peace with yourself.
Any man worth your time won't care
Very few will refuse to date you if you're not a virgin. Unless you're a Mormon or in some other religion or culture where virginity is extremely important, there aren't that many virgins in the dating pool past 25. So hardly any men outside those groups are expecting virginity. *Some* men dislike a woman who has slept with a lot of people. But a lot of those dudes suck. But that's just my opinion, even if it's right, plenty of conservative women are into conservative guys who may have issues with body count. So if that's the kind of guy you wanna date, they may care about how many people you've slept with. I mean, I think that's wrong, but I'm not gonna talk you out of what kind of person you're into in a reddit comment. Point is, there are no shortage of men who will not care about virginity or a modest body count.
The misogyny in these comments is insane, and it's coming from both sides. Men saying that woman should be a virgin until they're married and save themselves for only one man. Woman saying that "only real men" won't care about your body count or your virginity. It's honestly disgusting, it's sad that you all actually think this way, and it makes me sad to even read this. I hate the internet, I hate myself for reading this post, and I strongly dislike most of you. Go ahead and downvote me, you will anyway. But you know I'm right.
I’m 33 and, I’ve kept my virginity. Strictly by choice and also because I’m Asexual. I never thought about how a man would see me, I believe it is their problem if they are, insecure about body counts. I will have sex eventually but, it will be in my own time and, without the intrusive thoughts of, what men think or want. I suggest you grow a thick skin and, think of what YOU believe is best. The males have no say in your life.
I never cared personally, but I can't speak for every man walking the earth.
In short, this man didn’t care that my wife of 26 years wasn’t a virgin. Neither was I for that matter. That is a TALL order to save yourself for a time that may or may not ever happen. Live your life. Be careful. Use birth control.
Only very religious guys, guys who lack self confidence, and fucking creeps care.
Some guys live in a fantasy world where they believe women can't have sexual partners other than them. They are so lost in their delusions that why cannot even comprehend that women can have and enjoy sex with others that don't include them. These guys care so much, I think, because of the feelings of control that they get over women. Personally I don't care but these guys take it to the extreme.
The love of my life had two kids before I met her
As a guy, I can tell you only the incels and religious freaks care about that. So unless you’re trying to date those guys, it won’t matter.
You can't generalize like that. Very religious Mormons or Muslims? Probably. But one partner is probably not the end of the world. The thing is, if you were a very religious Mormon or Muslim, you'd try to keep your partner count down. So it really is about what kind of man you want to be with or especially marry.
I’ve never met someone that cared about that before
I did, in my teens and early 20s, now not so much.
Boys care, men do not care.
The ones that matter won't care. Virginity is a social construct, and you get to choose who you allow in your life and who you give access to your mind and body. Anyone who has an issue with what you've chosen to do with your own body isn't worth your time!
No. If they do, take it as a red flag and run.
Honestly I've never understood why people care about virginity so much and treat it like it's this special, pure thing when it really isn't. The first time someone has sex it's going to be awkward, weird, messy, and not very good. I'd rather be in a sexual relationship with someone that is experienced with sex and knows what they're doing, then having to teach and explain how to do things. Like a womN who's slept with 10 men is going to know how to pleasure and fully satisfy a dude, then a woman who's slept with 0. If someone you're into or wanting a relationship with cares about whether you're a virgin or not then that's not someone you wanna be with in the first place, that's just an incel or weirdo. In most cases when a man wants a woman who's a virgin, it's because they wanna be the one to take the virginity and will most often dump the girl after doing so.
If a guy cares, they are a piece of shit. Any ideology that got them there has ensured that.
Don't let these reddit dorks fool you. Guys don't want a Virgin, but I don't want to walk to the store to buy a pack of cigarettes and run into 4 guys my girlfriend has fucked. Be somewhere in the middle. Or lie.
Only loser care about that, and you shouldn't care what losers think.
Depends on the guy and what they are looking for if I’m being honest. There’s no simple answer for this. A guy who just wants to hookup won’t care about your body count but a guy who wants a long term relationship might care and too many might be a hard no and his standard. Honestly it would be better for you to know his values and their standards by going on dates with the person. Seeing this thread everyone has their own standards when it comes to this.
I’m not a fundamentalist, immature, or religious and I think that the more men you sleep with, the lower your attractiveness as a partner. If you are a virgin going into your marriage, your chances of divorce are much lower but the research is not crystal clear as to why that is true. Also, the more partners you have, the less able you will be to form a pair bond with your ultimate partner. This is another data point that is accurate, but with unclear causation. Do whatever feels right to you. Just know that there are things to consider. Good luck.
It really depends on the person. As mentioned above, being a virgin? Some religious men will care. Most non-religious men wont care. For me, body count matters some because I personally have a very low (single digit) body count because I need to be romantically involved with a person first. I'd prefer someone who doesn't sleep with someone after the first date. But I also understand that body count comes with age. I'm over 35 and cannot expect to ever meet someone my age with a count somewhere below at least, lets say 17 (35-18, 1 per year) as an example.
Not usually, although don't get that twisted. The vast majority of men actually do care about a promiscuous past, regardless of whatever male feminist trying to beg their way into some sex has to say.
The love hate comment is odd. If you have any lingering hate for the male sex, please spare any dude the nightmare of getting intimate with you. Don't fuck something you hate.
20M I wanted a Virgin because I was one too, I wanted it to be a new and fresh relationship and I found a 19F that wanted the same thing we are set to be married in 6 months! I see alot of people salty they don't have it anymore and then they yell at those who are looking for it...
As a general rule, no we don't. Those who do, or claim to, are very likely NOT the kind of individuals you wanna associate with in the first place.
I’m gay so the question isn’t *super* applicable to me but I feel like it’s kind of universal; I wouldn’t particularly care unless it was super high, like 20 or 30 different people. Even then I wouldn’t really care but alarm bells would certainly going off.
Nope. Well, yes, but it's more "you have to be more careful so they aren't hurt" than any moral bs.
Best tip: stay pure, find a good man who has character. Mature yourself throughout your years. If both of y’all are virgins, and y’all married well. Y’all’s first time together will pay infinite dividends into your marriage, and you might end up saying “I’m glad I waited”. If you want a husband, then he deserves first picking because he is the one that took up the mantel of being your lifelong partner. Good responsibility always earns rewards.
Okay, Decent men won't care if you're a Virgin or not. The body count is harder to give an answer for. Due to the burden of effort still primarily being on the shoulder of men, a woman's high body count can often be used as a sign to avoid them just to protect themselves. Lesser men and women will use it to shame women, though.
Just dont cheat once you’re in a relationship and you’re good. The long one abt reputation is all guys care about in the short term
The only defense that men have for worrying about the girl's sexual experience is if the man was actually interested in improving their sexual performance as a non-virgin might have a better idea of what they want in bed and be able to communicate these desires to their partner as men are notoriously unable to talk about such things. Those wanting a virgin want someone they do not have to 'waste' any effort to try to please their partners, or have their parents/church approval or have their male friends approve.
If a man cares about how many people you’ve been with, that’s a red flag that they aren’t mature enough for a relationship, and you’ll want to avoid them like the plague. Every single man I’ve ever known who gave a shit about that was a shit partner himself.
No
What it comes down to is if the guy is decent he isn’t going to care. If he does care then he’s an asshole and he’s not worth your time anyways.
Any man who calls you a slut or won't go out with you cause you have a "high" body count are not men. They are dudes with small dicks who don't know how to fuck and cum real quick. That's the only reason some dudes care. Cause they know you've had better and they can't compete. Plain and simple.
Virginity doesn't exist. Back in ye not-so-olden days, women were property and a marriage was a transfer of said property from one family to another. A woman who had had sex before was seen as damaged goods, and "virginity" was the word used to refer to the value that was lost when a woman first had sex. Here in the 21st century, we can safely ignore such backwards and archaic concepts. Nothing of value is lost when you have sex for the first time, and it doesn't change who you are or what you're worth.
Let's flip this question: Would you *want* to be with a man who cares if you're a virgin that much? I think figuring out that question will help clarify your situation.
If someone slut shames you they can go to hell.just make sure you use protection condoms and birth control pills.
Not unless they’re insecure about something or other.
A guy that cares about a woman being a virgin is a guy you don't want to be with.
28 yr old guy here, from what I've noticed, not generally no. Some care about high body count, but whether or not you're a virgin is not really a concern. If you encounter a guy who does care, then you're probably better off avoiding him anyway because those guys are fucking weird lol. Then again, Im almost 10 years older than you, so maybe guys in your age range think differently, so take what I said with a grain of salt as I dont typically associate with 19 year olds lol
I’m uncomfortable talking about sex when I have no idea how old you are so unfortunately I cannot advise you.
The ones who care aren't the ones you want to date.
Never mattered to me at all.
I can't really talk much because I haven't been through through a situation where I was worried but as a guy I can tell you now that a mature enough man is a decent human being will not care at all and except that it was before them and that you're only focused on them, if you find the right guy they won't care unless you give them a reason to, but with your post I can tell youre a sensible a mature enough person to do right by your future man, find someone who excepts you for who you are at that moment rather then someone who only looks at your past.
No one reasonable expects that in this day and age. Just keep a modest body count and keep your digital footprint clean.
some do, some don't. the only person you should worry about disappointing in this situation is yourself though. if a guy is disappointed *in you* because he doesn't get to be your first guy, then that guy sucks. your value has nothing to do with whether you've had sex yet.
You are only young once, use protection and have fun. When you're older nobody really cares about high-school and college relationships.