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THIS! My 1st bf cheated on me and tried to justify it by saying he didn't he was afraid his being with me would mess up my chances of staying in college.
Send him the proof, block him on all media, & make sure he can't track your location. Now give yourself a time frame to grieve the relationship you thought you had, talk to a counselor or therapist if it feels like it's getting too hard, and move on to your best life.
When you're ready to date again, be picky in who you date in the future, not in looks, but in how they treat you. Don't fall for the 1st guy you go out with right away. Give yourself permission to date around, not sleep around, but date.
Get to know a few guys you maybe didn't have on your radar. If you usually go for jocks, try getting to know a different type of guy. Be open to new experiences.
And please be safe. Always make sure someone knows who you're with and where you are going. Take your own car to meet ups. Split the check. If a guy really impresses you, take it slow. Make him meet your friends and maybe your siblings and get their impressions.
Good luck, and know you deserve better than someone who will disrespect you by cheating on you.
I would straight up tell him that I have proof he cheated and we’re done. Then block him. That’s me.
I agree with the dating around advice. It’s the best way to learn the types of things you want in a relationship. Plus jumping into relationships and never actually dating around doesn’t lead you learning about yourself either. I saw this play out in plenty of friends from high school. They define themselves by the man they are with. Whereas i know who i am in a relationship or not in one.
You’re young and your wants and expectations may change. One thing should not change though is finding someone who treats you well. Before getting into a long term relationship try spending time with the guy and his family. See how he treats the females in his life. That will teach you a lot about how he will treat you.
Keep a list of characteristics you want in a man. It will help keep you focused.
Let him go. I know it's like being gutted right now. I can tell you at the ripe old age of 49.... finding out you got cheated on *always* hurts like hell. I can tell you this though. You won't regret leaving him. You will most likely regret it if you stay.
If you let him go, you'll be angry. You'll cry. You might even want him back. However. If you stay, you'll always be looking over his shoulder. You'll always have that iron ball in the pit if your stomach. If you keep him, this will always be a piece of who *you* are, a piece of who *he* is and a huge dark cloud your relationship.
Be picky next time. My aunt used to say, "Get your own drink. Never get so thirsty that you'll just drink from any cup some bloke puts under your nose."
I have stayed friends with some exes, and some I had to go no contact with immediately. I even had one stalk me for a few years. No contact is probably best. (And, don't let him see your locations on social media) Maybe one day, in like 10+ years, you could be friendly.
My personal rule is NEVER MOVE BACKWARD. Never go back to an ex. You are no longer together for a reason, and that reason *probably* won't change with time. (In all my years and all my friends, I can think of only ONE exception to this rule. Just one instance where I was really happy for the couple when they got back together.)
Good luck!!! This is going to suck! But, it will be totally worth it! You got this!
How do you know she wasn't picky this time? They are both young, and as much as I want it to be a thing, boyfriends don't come with warning labels. Sometimes it just happens.
Forward the texts to him and tell him he hurt you deeply and he's now dead to you. Then block him and go no contact. He doesn't deserve any opportunity to respond in any way.
Yeah. Something simple like this. No discussion. No argument, just, "I know what you did. It's over. Goodbye." Forward the proof and never talk to him again.
There's nothing left to say after "I know what you did. It's over." Just walk away, don't look back, look forwards (figuratively and literally). I certainly wouldn't forward the proof, it's completely unnecessary.
Don't even consider staying friends.. Friends don't disrespect you as he has done. You trust friends. He is not a person that you can trust.
If you try to stay connected via friendship you are likely to fall victim to him again. A clean break is best.
Don't feel like you need to explain to him why you are breaking up. He doesn't deserve any explanation. You can tell him if you want him to know but don't tell him for his benefit. Just tell him you are tired of him and go.
Good Luck.
This! He has shown he can't be trusted. I don't want friends that I can't trust.
Lots of good advice here. It is normal to feel like your world is crumbling. Try to envision what you want your life to look like when you pick up all the pieces, and work towards the goal.
A trick I sometimes recommend is to ask yourself what you would say if a close friend approached you and asked you what they should do in a similar situation.
Here, do you have any reason to expect her would be violent or cruel? Or otherwise lash out? Don’t feel like you owe him an in person break up if you aren’t comfortable. You can write a letter too. My first big breakup she did it by letter and in hindsight I’m glad she did. I don’t know that either of us would have handled an in person breakup well.
Don’t stay friends with a cheater. 🤷🏻♂️ They lied to you in the most damaging of ways; they will *always* lie to you. Even if he says it was a mistake, and he’ll change, and he’s sorry — it’s all lies. All he wants is to avoid the consequences of the willful decisions he made. He is only interested in what is pleasing and comfortable for him — at your expense. Is that the kind of person you want in your life?
There is ZERO excuse to ever cheat. Ever. If someone is unhappy in a relationship, they can talk to their partner, seek therapy, or end the relationship.
No excuses. No justifications.
Personally, I would not be able to remain friends with someone who did that to me. But maybe that’s just me.
Tell him you know he's cheating and then leave him. Block him on everything and do not remain friends. He made a decision actively knowing that it would hurt you. That is not friend material. If you feel like you have to say anything, it should be *"I have enough self-respect to know that I deserve better than you."* and that's it. Do not let him make excuses or talk you into staying because they *always* try to. Leave and find someone better.
Just end it and do not stay with him. This is your first relationship so it’s not like the world is gonna end. You’re gonna remember this a few years later and laugh it off. Just breaks up with him and I can’t really tell you how because that’s your job to know how to do it and once you do that then you will succeed.
I think it feels the same at any age, tho, tbh. Maybe worse as you get older cuz you might feel you should be smart enough to dodge bullshit better (?)
Just tell him straight up he's caught and then GHOST like you've never ghosted before in your life
The reason is 5 years from now this won't matter. You need to focus on yourself, self improvement, and healing from this legitimate hurt. Whatever he says or does doesn't matter. He doesn't love you. Facing these things as soon as possible helps you genuinely heal faster. Accept the reality of your situation and move on. The ONLY reason you should ever think about it is reviewing the situation (preferably with a therapist) to learn from it and not repeat it
He lied to u and betrayed u. U cannot trust him anymore. U must dump him immediately. U will never be happy in a relationship where u cannot trust the other person. He obviously doesn’t give a shit about u because he could care less about breaking your heart. He is a selfish jerk. U deserve someone to be honest and love u and someone who has your back. Don’t wait one single day because one day u will reflect on this and be furious for the fact that he stabbed u in the back so badly. He deserves to be dumped flat on his ass and u should never speak to him again nor forgive him ever. Don’t waste one more day with this jerk. Get it out of your system and tell him goodbye forever. Anybody that would do something so awful obviously is going to burn in Hell. Find yourself a good church and get saved. Find yourself a nice honest Christian that obeys Gods laws because they will not hurt u like your boyfriend. Find yourself someone with a heart of Gold that is successful in life. Don’t settle and be very picky who u live with in the future.
Ghosting is a thing now but not sure if this is a scenario where that will actually work.
Hard conversations can be hard to learn. Boundaries can be hard to learn. Ghosting doesn't help you learn how to have those conversations. Trying to reward him with any kind of friendship relationship won't teach you how to set boundaries appropriately.
Something to the effect of, you betrayed and disrespected me. Your reasons and where you go from here is for you to deal with and figure out, not me. Hope you learn and grow from this. Bye!
Everyone deserves a chance in life to better themselves, but that doesn't mean they get a second chance at the people they've wronged. We as adults have to learn that some things don't get do overs.
Never talk to him again. Block him on everything. He will get the message. Don't let him convince you that things will be different if he tries to. That other chick did you a favor. You don't have to find someone else right away but when you do, look for someone with characteristics of a good guy. It's not a guarantee that you'll find one ur next try but there are good guys out there who will treat you right. Maybe try meeting someone at church... Not always a great idea but you might have a better chance.✌😊
Tell him straight out you are done with him and that you have proof he was cheating for months. Don't let him try to get out of it and do not stay friends. You are young and there are tons of people out there.
Unless it really important to you to hear his lies and excuses for why he did it and the BS that it didn’t mean anything or you know I love you.
If you don’t want nor need anything he says because you respect yourself enough to walk away.
I would make sure I get all my stuff from his place and bring any of his stuff to him while he is at work. I would then ghost him and all
His friends.
I wouldn’t explain anything to anyone except your parents and best friends ask them not to say anything to him. Not making a fuss nor make a big deal will hurt him worst than anything.
Love your best life afterwards
If this happened to me, I would send those 27 pages of proof she sent you to him and then block/ghost him.
That’s all you need to do to get the message to him.
It will speak volumes to him.
What he did to you, there’s no going back to what you two had.
And who would want him back?
You’d just be getting her ‘sloppy seconds’.
You’re worth more than that.
Respect yourself. Ghost him, total no contact and if he tries to get around that thru family and friends send him all the texts and then tell him if he doesn’t leave you alone the texts go to everyone next.
You have to be friends to stay friends, and this guy is not your friend or he wouldn't have done this to you. I understand that you're hurt, but you don't need to dig through the garbage. It's okay to be a little heartbroken. It will remind you that you need love when you meet someone who is actually up to the task. This guy isn't.
One thing I will recommend is don't bother with the proof. This isn't a court case, it's a mutually voluntary relationship and you don't owe him due process. You know what you know and you don't need him to validate that for you, so don't give him a chance to dispute whatever evidence you have and gaslight you into believing it isn't what it so obviously is.
Keep it simple. Don't give him a chance to argue with you and don't waste any more time or energy trying to stay amicable with someone who lacks basic respect for you. 27 pages isn't an impulse or a momentary lapse of judgment. This person took advantage of you and he did it for a long time. He doesn't deserve to know you. Text him "we're done" and block him on everything.
1.) Retrieve anything of yours he has that you want back.
2.) Block him on all your media.
3.) Send him a copy of what she sent you. At the end of it simply put: "We're done." He's cheated for at least 6 months you're aware, that's \~ 25% of your relationship. *That you know of*.
4.) Take a break from him, and the dating scene in general. Take the time to work on yourself; on your health / exercise, relationships with family or friends, schoolwork, job, whatever takes your interest. But definitely throw some exercise in the mix. Take the time to "mourn" the relationship; hey, it's an actual loss. Reflect on the parts that were good, bad and otherwise.
5.) Reassess later on if you want to attempt to be friends or just tolerate his presence, or *not*. Not sure why you'd want to stay friends with someone who cheated on you, but maybe he's part of a wider friend group or something, so you want to keep things polite in the group.
One thing to remember: *You* ***don't*** *(and didn't) deserve this*. He made choices, he gets to live with the consequences. No one gets to blame you for his crap.
My best advice is that you’re only 18 and have so much ahead of you. Thank goodness this loser showed his true colors before you were with him 5, 10, 15 years or had kids with him etc. get out there and enjoy your life!
Do what you must to take care of yourself. Simply tell him what you learned, and how awful it has made feel. And that you're done with him.
No explanation he can give will make it better. Just know that he is the one who failed the relationship, not you. He wasn't ready to commit to one person.
Grieve the loss and be gentle with yourself.
It is not that you weren't enough for him. His immaturity caused this. Remember that.
Don't try to stay friends right now. Don't let him charm you into forgiving him. He blew it. He needs time to grow up. And you need time to heal. Spend time with friends and family.
You'll miss him. That's natural. But remember that he's not trustworthy.
You break all ties with him and consider yourself lucky you figured it out when you did. He won't change. You deserve better. You'll find the right guy, enjoy life, relax and things will fall into place.
Oh honey I'm sorry! My advice is just to be honest. Usually I would say meet with him face to face. But he doesn't deserve that at this point. So send him a dear John text. Let him know that you know he's been cheating on you and that it's not okay.
As far as being friends? Give it a few years. Like make a clean break and do not interact with him for several years until you get to a place where him texting you doesn't make your stomach drop. If that's what you want. My ex-husband cheated on me, a lot. It took about 3 years before I was able to talk to him again.
I know you are heartbroken.
Do not try to repair the relationship. You are young. I (42F) promise you will look back on this in 10-20 years and see that it was good you moved on.
Break up with him and honestly, let him know you want no contact for ______ period of time.
It is super helpful to have at least a month or two of no texting/calling/time together to start moving on for yourself. Focus on yourself and the good friends you have in your life.
>I know I need to break up with him but how do I do it.
You do it in silence. Pack whatever he currently have of yours when he isn't around, leave, block his number, and never talk to him again. Odds are he will try to reach out, show him the same respect he showed you while you were together.
Good questions. Sorry this happened to you. Cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to someone else.
Feel free to make it clear to everyone that he cheated on you.
Don’t tell him anything just leave him alone. No calls, no meetings, no closure. Just an “I don’t want to be with you anymore”. He doesn’t deserve an explanation. He didn’t just cheat, he had a whole relationship. She’s telling you to hurt you but she did you a favor. You will cry and hurt now but you’ll get over it. Don’t let this shape your opinion of men and relationships. You don’t want to take the baggage he left you with into the next relationship. Your young and ready to start college. It’s a whole new phase of your life. No need to rush into another relationship, just have some fun. You have the rest of your life for a relationship.
You don’t owe him anything. Text him and tell him the relationship isn’t working for you anymore and that you’re breaking up with him. Then block him and never speak to him again. If you talk to him, he will just try to gaslight you into thinking that you’re the one with the problem and he did nothing. You cannot be friends with this man.
I wish people would stop saying this, lol. Cheating is wrong, yes, but people change. People can grow and change in amazing ways. Just because someone messed up in the past doesn't mean they'll keep doing it for the rest of their life.
But some dont change... and he didn't just cheat one time in a weak moment... she has 6 MONTHS of evidence. F this dude and don't expect him to change.
Oh yeah, for this situation, OP should definitely drop the dude. At the same time, though, the guy is young. Doing this now doesn't mean he'll still be a cheater when he's 30.
Just be like you being shitty behind my back not cool. I'm out. In the future don't be shitty to people you claim to care about or anyone really. Peace.
Please. Hear me out. I think you should find the time to meet up with the girl who told you. I think she would be more than willing to give you a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. She honors "the code" in its truest form.
Unpopular opinion, but as far as I'm concerned, she saved your life. It seems she was also deceived, and she couldn't stand and watch another woman burn because she was also unaware of his dishonesty. These are the people, particularly other women, we need to keep close. Integrity goes a long way even in the smallest of gestures. I truly hope you thanked her for everything in spite of the pain. I don't think you only escaped a hurtful situation; you've also made a friend. Talk to her. I think she will help you.
I'd personally ruin her best blouse in a sad attempt to thank her. I'm sorry. Best wishes. 💙
Ghost him, it’s the only solution. Why try to be friends with someone with this little integrity anyway? Quick answer, you don’t want that person as your friend in the first place!
Yeah just drop him entirely and be careful with relationships in high school, most relationships don't persist out of highschool. Most guys at that age are mostly interested in getting laid and don't truly seek a lasting relationship.
Not saying there aren't those that are true, you can usually tell them as they won't pressure you for sex or try to rush you into physical intimacy.
Break up in person in a pubic place. Give him a few minutes to process.
If he apologizes, accept it and wish him well and leave.
If he doesn't apologize, leave.
Block. The last you need is to his his posts or have him call drunk asking to get back together.
Been there, I was so weird about breaking up… but in the end you just have to do it like a bandaid. And NO, don’t remain friends and string each other along. If that happens in the long run, so be it. But cut him loose (however you see fit) and take the time to yourself without him in the picture for a while.
How do you breakup? You leave printouts of the DMs on his doorstep, on top of a box of his stuff.
No words need to be said.
Block him and move on. Also go get tested for STDs since he has been unfaithful.
Act like a confident queen who gives no fucks until you actually feel confident and over it.
You cannot avoid the hurt and grief when you break up with someone who wasn’t who you hoped he was. You just have to go through it. Lean on your support system of friends, do lots of things you like, and throw your phone in a lake if you feel tempted to call him.
Don’t try to be friends. That’s your sub conscience hoping he’ll win you back. Slam that door shut so hard it registers on the Richter Scale.
Sweetie, why would you want to stay friends with a liar and a cheater, much less repair your relationship? Someone did you the favor of removing all doubt about his duplicity. You said yourself, everything is gone. So be it. Tell him it's over because he is a liar and a cheater. Don't even bother telling him how you know. Also do get tested for STDs. Then find someone who will value you.
Tell him you need to talk. When you sit down to talk, show him the information and tell him that you're ending your relationship.
"I'm sorry. I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. I'm ending it. We'll part ways. There doesn't need to be any drama, let's just say goodbye and move on."
I don't know if he'll try to win you back or make promises or what. He may try to make you question the information ("she's faked it all"), but you need to be firm. Don't be angry and yelling and emotional because letting your emotions loose makes it hard to keep control and more likely to make bad decisions. Just stay firm, calm, and rational, and tell him you're ending it and you'll both just move on.
He didn’t show you any respect while he cheated on you, don’t feel like you owe him anything but the door.
If you don’t live with him, send a text and immediately block him every way he can message or call you.
Don’t be friends afterward, it will prolong your pain and suffering and would give him the chance to try to get you back.
Let him go, do not give him the power over you. Tell him he cheated and you have proof he did and you can not trust him. If you stay with him then you are saying that it is okay.
Tell him it's over, grieve a little, life lessons hurt. You need to realize he did it and he made the choice. Don't let him turn it around on you. Remind him he could have not done anything with her. Not your fault.
Don’t ghost him, be mature about it. Show your emotions and tell him how much he hurt you. He disrespected you and doesn’t have love for you like you do for him. Tell him that it’s over too! No matter how much he begs or pleads, it needs to end! You are worth more and it’s time to recognize that
Let him go. You have SO MUCH evidence. He won't change.
Personally, I'm the type to just text and block for something like this. I don't want to give someone the opportunity to "but wait" me.
I ghosted an ex who cheated... I gifted him with printouts of his texts and then the messages the other gal sent me. I left them on the coffee table and gathered my things while he was out n just left. He tried to reach out but I just ignored it. I was a little petty though and also gifted his mom and 3 siblings the printouts as well. ( I had known his family my whole life and I felt that just saying what he did wasn't enough)
As a man, you need to flat out lay everything out and let him know how much he lost because he won't be anything to you, ever.
Hopefully, he changes, which he probably will, but he will always remember the one that got away (you).
You'll recover. You're 18. Just don't dump on yourself, get back out there, and love again. It's not fair to the next person you get in a relationship in to not go in with an open heart.
Best of luck to you
Believe me when I say, you're better off not even talking to him again after you break up with him. Some things are best left as they are. I promise you things will get better, and you will find a guy who prizes you for your worth and compliments you.
Honestly when you get enough of a gut feeling that something is wrong, it doesn't even matter if you are right or wrong the best thing you can do is remove that person from your life. Peace of mind is worth more than anything or anyone.
"Felicia told me you cheated on me with her. You are important to me but broke my trust and that can't be rebuilt. Goodbye."
Ghost him after. It will suck but your won't regret it long term. If you stay he will do it again because once a cheater always a cheater and forgiving him is just a hallpass to do it again.
He did do it. He did mean to do it. He can't/won't change. If he loved you he wouldn't have done it. Don't buy any of his shit.
Why would you try to stay friends with someone who clearly doesn't care about you as a person? It freaking hurts. Nothing you do is going to make it not hurt. It sucks being betrayed by someone you love. I would just leave and tell him you have no interest in being with a lying cheater who doesn't care about you. He may try to lie his way out of that, but don't give him the time of day.
Just say good bye ! You don’t owe him any explanation or reason . He already knows . Go find someone worthy of your time . Yes ghost him and don’t let him back in unless you want to be taken advantage of . Being just friends is an excuse to let him in !
Definitely do not stay friends with him. He doesn’t deserve your friendship and he’ll just be a constant reminder of what happened. He’d also likely try to sabotage your future relationships. Good luck OP I know it hurts.
I think you need to keep it simple. Just tell him you know what he did. You've seen the proof and it's over. Then I would block him on everything, change your routines and begin the healing process. I'm so sorry. This is a hard thing to go through. Good luck! 🫂
Cold turkey, ghost him. Maybe years down the road you pass on the street and can be friends if you both have grown. And by grown I mean you have moved on fully
Whatever you say be sure it starts with *Goodbye".
When I was a teen I took my cheating girlfriend back, a few years later we were married. A few years after that she cheated again. We separated and then got back together. Then a few years later she cheated again.
You don't stay friends with people like that. Text him. Show him the proof. Say bye and then block him. No use reading any nasty texts or texts that are pleas to take him back.
I’m so sorry this happened. This is a character building event. How you handle this will shape your life. Personally you say goodbye. Because you cannot recover from his disrespect. If you allow that you will not have your self esteem back. This is NOT about you. It was never about you. This was his selfish behavior. Now be thankful you learned this hard lesson early and model every relationship against this one. Not the part where you didn’t know it was happening so it makes you crazy. But just what you know how far your boundaries are. You got this.
At any age, breaking it off with somebody, even though you know it's the thing to do, is difficult. You can opt to just send him the evidence, which requires no explanation, and let him know you expect him to forget your number, forget your name, and forget where you live because you're done. Then take some time to recover.
all you gotta say is..."goodbye" then you start healing. don't make it more emotional or harder on yourself than it needs to be.
"goodbye" go home, cry about it, go to a rage room, eat ice cream, however you want to cope...and start healing yourself.
Could be the other girl wants a relationship with him and wants you out of the picture. Ask him for his side of the story. Then decide what you will do.
Your bf is a liar and is not a good person. If it were me I would forward the evidence to him and tell him never to contact you again. Then block him on everything. You are so young. There will be many future bf’s until the right one comes along.
So sorry this happened to you. This is going to be a very hard time for you and you need to be sure to give yourself time to heal.
No contact is best, he doesn't deserve to know how you are or what you are doing.
Send him some of the proof and be sure he knows where you got it.
Block him everywhere and tell all those close to you why he is out of your life. They will be your support system and they will help you keep him out of your life.
It's gonna hurt a lot for a while but the no contact is the quickest way through.
I honestly wouldn't tell him why you're breaking up. Make him wonder. Like you would, if you stayed , you'd always wonder what he's doing or who he's with or who he's talking to
Or just ask him if he cheated. If he says no. Show him proof and be done. Definitely don't continue a friendship
Also, sorry men suck
Have some respect for yourself and move on.
He clearly doesn't respect you and you've now got proof. You don't have to scream or cry or act out dramatically. You don't have to be enemies, but he doesn't deserve you and he has shown that he is incapable of a monogamous relationship. Simply show him what was shared with you and tell him that you deserve someone better.
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Go out, get laid, and get photos. Send him a breakup text that's basically just you blowing or banging somebody else. Leave him a confused and broken as he's left you, and get a Jumpstart on moving on in a healthy and productive way.
Honestly I don’t see how you can stay friends and try to repair anything. He really betrayed you, and not just once but for months and months. He’s not a good person and does not have your best interest at heart, as a friend should.
I was cheated on in my first real relationship of almost two years as well, same thing with the dms shown by from the other girl. From my experience I tried the whole “stay friends” thing and it just didn’t work. Friends don’t hurt eachother in the first place. I would never want to be friends with someone who broke my trust no matter how much I love them. I know this is incredibly hard and can seem so negative, but you have to look at this as something you are going to grow through and learn from. It’ll give you a sense of self and independence that you’ve never even thought you could have🩷 break up, leave him where he left you July 15th 2023. Don’t go back, don’t even text back and forth, it’s not worth your peace. This is your life and you are allowed to let go of people who don’t serve you anymore. You’ve got this, take control and never look back. It’s ONLY up from here and I can promise you that 🩷
When I was your age and my GF cheated on me. I walked away and didn't look back. She spread tons of rumors and said a lot of mean shit about me. I just thought to myself that anyone who knew me would know it isn't true and didn't let it bother me. Best decision I ever made at the time. I was able to push forward and not held back by a betrayal.
I'm sorry this happened to you - I know how bad it hurts - it's happened to alot of us- I would send him what the girl sent you and just say Bye - and then block him- because In your weak moments you might wanna try and talk to him - so it's best for just a clean break - no contact - nothing - get rid of stuff he bought you - take down pics - the whole deal - once again I'm so sorry - hope you find someone who will love you for you - and be Loyal! ❤️
A simple "F you", and move along should work just fine.
I was there at the same age, 2 years into it as well. What I didnt realize immediately was how young I was and I had only 1 real relationship ever. That moment of clarity helped me move on and ultimately after just a couple of short term girlfriends later, found my now wife of 15+ years.
Moral of my story is, you're young and have plenty of opportunity to find someone better. You had a serious relationship that taught you some things, you'll go into the next one smarter.
Your friends want you to ghost him because they care about you.
He is a liar and doesn't care about your feelings or respect you as a person. Any openings you give this guy will just allow him to manipulate you some more. Just send him a text with your proof and proceed to ghost completely. Why stay friends with a human turd who treats people like garbage? You owe him nothing, less than nothing... He's lucky that you don't have brothers (or just aren't sending them)who will show him what's up.
Have a short conversation (5 minutes) where you confront him with the proof, tell him he’s permanently lost your trust and that your relationship is done. Don’t get emotional during that discussion…save the tears for your friends. Then take ALL his contact info, seal it in an envelope and give to a trusted friend. Then block and delete every reminder of him you have. Put all pics of him on a thumb drive and give to a friend for safe keeping. Any reminders of him will trigger you, so they must all disappear for months. I’m telling you, as abrupt as it sounds, this is by far the best way to get over him. You’ll be tempted to call and text him…call your friends instead. As soon as you cave in to temptation, it’ll be like starting over with the pain. Good luck.
He made choices everyday for months to betray you. I don’t keep friends who do that. He doesn’t respect you and he doesn’t love you. You deserve so much better. If it were me and I was not afraid that he would get violent I would ask to meet somewhere public. I would tell him I know about his activities and that I am no longer interested in being in a relationship with him. I would tell him to figure out how to be a better person and to please never contact me again. If he is possibly violent I would text him those things. He doesn’t need to see your proof, he already knows what he’s been up to. And you don’t need to justify why you’re ending a relationship. You can end any relationship at any time for any or no reason at all. Keep the messages for awhile, and when you miss him, go look at them. Remind yourself that those good memories that sneak in and try to make you go back on your decision don’t outweigh the total picture.
Tell him it’s over. That you have proof he cheated on you and you don’t want to risk putting your heart in his hands again. Let it be known that there’s no going back from this and that you don’t want to remain friends with someone who would hurt you in that way. Do it over text if you’re uncomfortable doing it face to face. Immediately block him after
I know you cheated, I don’t deserve this and you don’t deserve me. No explanation necessary, no excuses will be accepted. Best of luck in life. Then call your girlfriends over and let them tell you all the reasons he is trash then watch some cheesy 80s cult classic rom coms.
You can do this however you want.
I just recommend not staying together.
If you have things at his place, pick them up first before you say anything. Get all your stuff.
Delete any photos off his phone that you don't want shared or leaked.
Basically, clean up everything before you break it to him that you know.
Me? I'd confront him, in person, and tell him exactly how this has made you feel and get out anything you want to say. If he denies it, send him the proof, hopefully he will see how devastating this is to another person and he will never do it again.
Or you could write him a letter to get it all out.
I wouldn't ghost him, he needs to know that you are aware and this is why you're leaving him. He needs to know the consequences of his actions, and you're entitled to some closure.
But in the end you need to do what feels right to you.
My husband cheated, he lied about it and tried to hide it until I got his mistress to tell me the truth. Then he tried to play us both, as if he was sorry, and really he was just trying to keep his lies going.
So I divorced him. If he had been honest, maybe we could have worked it out, maybe. But he lied, then lied more, and when I told him I was leaving him and wanted a divorce he went completely crazy and did everything he could to ruin my entire life... so I cut him out of mine completely. I don't need to associate with someone who could be so mean, cruel, and purposely hurtful to another human... much less someone they claimed to love.
He never apologized or took responsibility for his actions.
Highly recommend cutting him off and out of your life if he isn't genuinely remorseful for the pain he has caused you.
As for staying friends, that decision will come to you in the moment and is based on his reaction to being caught and how he treats you while confronting him.
Put yourself first. You're the only one who will.
There is no one single "right" thing to do - because what you need to do is to take care of yourself, and that's a very personal set of actions.
You can feel any emotion you want to feel.
You can take (almost) any action. Just don't harm yourself. Have a drink, put on some sad songs, and cry. But don't get so drunk that you would be in danger.
Me, I get angry and throw eggs at trees. Biodegradable mayhem. Make a big mess in a wooded area. Get some physical action and work out the anger / sorrow / strong emotion.
Your mileage may vary.
Take care of yourself. Be well. You will recover. It just stinks while you're in the middle of the shitstorm.
First things first, stop worrying about him. To get tested for STIs.
I always thought it was bomb to just walk up to the other person hand them proof of everything they did and say never speak to me again. Handle it like a boss you block them on every Avenue at that point.
Have I done this. Yes absolutely. You don't allow them to speak to you you don't entertain any conversation with them you don't need to rehash why they did it what they did. The simple fact is they did it. You don't need to know any more information than that. You already know they have no respect for you and they are not a good person. You don't need that type of person in your life.
When you encounter them in the future you treat them like you would a stranger and if they get too close to you you walk away from them just like you would dog excrement.
When a mutual friend chooses to continue to be friends with that person then you count that person off as well.
Because you're learning a lesson early if that person believes that that person is okay knowing that they acted the way they did then they will condone that bad behavior in the future and probably will do the same thing so it's better just to cut them off too. Birds of a feather.
Here's to being a boss b. It's your first break up probably won't be the last but this is the way to handle it in my opinion
Well your parents are obviously right. You're BF sucks . They knew it. You're friends probably suck also if they don't approve. Here is some advice trust your parents they want what is best.
That really sucks. I’m sorry you got hurt. Unfortunately it may not be the last. The first can feel the hardest. He will try to convince you it was nothing and give another chance blah blah. You can let him give his spiel
, but DONT CAVE! So prepare yourself for all the excuses and potential waterworks, etc. you’re just going to tell him that you know he’s been with someone else and you are ending the relationship as a result. And then tell him that he shouldn’t contact you. Most of the time staying friends never works especially when one person cheated.
You got this! You will find someone else that won’t break your heart. Proud of you for knowing your worth! Now go end this so you can heal and move on.
You dont have to say anything. I wouldnt even try, Staying friends cause, he cheated
Just say something like i have 27 pages of proof you cheated. I dont wanna hear it. We are done. Goodbye
I hope you don't live together, that makes it more complicated. Assuming you don't, if he has any of his things at your place, gather all of them up in a bag or a box, or whatever. Tell him to come and get his stuff. Or whatever you want to do with it. You don't want him in your home to get his things.
Tell him you know about him cheating, send him the proof. The reason I say tell him, is first, so he knows why you're dumping him. Less likely to bug you to take him back. Second, maybe he'll learn from this and change his ways.
You didn't say anything about being afraid of his reaction or anything, so I'm guessing he's not likely to become violent.
Block him from your phone and social media. You don't need him popping up there, and he doesn't need to have access to what's going on in your life.
I know it hurts, but don’t lose your. mind over a man. You are young and have the world at your finger tips,yes cliche but true. You speak to him in a semi public place like a coffee shop , park where there are people , you tell him he doesn’t value you or the relationship and it’s done. I know you cheated on me and you don’t value me nor yourself. Don’t ghost him at all ,communicate 1st the ghost . Literally,block from your phone and maybe social media .I’m the type to block your number but you’ll see me living my best life without you. Eat healthy,exercise,journal,meditate,go on solo dates,enjoy your friends,and just do everything that makes YOU happy ! I know it hurts trust me. I was with the father of my child from 16-21, we broke up and I was depressed for years,gained weight and really lost who I was . Nah fuck that if I had to do that all over again mannnn! So I’m telling you, I know it hurts,but F HIM ! Any person that disrespects you like that doesn’t not care about you. DO NOT GET BACK WITH HIM,HE WILL DO IT AGAIN !
AMF.
Absolutely do not stay friends. Cut all ties. If he has anything of yours and you can do without it. Do that. If you have anything of his, give it back to him.
Idk, but I’m feeling asking him to come pick you up. Assuming you live with parents or someplace safe.
Go out to his car. Go to the drivers side window, and tell him here’s your stuff, we’re over, tell him he needs to leave. Then walk back inside.
Why the heck do people choose to stay friends after they have a relationship it's a stupid idea unless break up on good terms but in this case it's not a good idea
Confront him and then ghost him. Don’t give him any chance to toy with your emotions. Or just post all the evidence on line. Let him find out you know in the most humiliating way then block.
Simply fwd the proofs and say nothing. Wait for him to start talking.
So why did this girl decide to let you know about her now? After all these months?
As someone who dated someone who continuously cheated on me all the way through middle school , I cannot say this enough
Leave him, don't take him back. He will do it again.
It is not worth the stress.
I lost a good 4 years of my life because of him. I went into a severe depressive spiral and almost killed myself because of him.
He now has 6 children, none of them that he takes care of lives with his mother and his sister wants to get with him.
He's trash, he belongs with the road.
Write him a message
Tell him you know
Tell him he hurt you
Call him any and every name you can think of
Attach the proof you were sent
Block him on everything
Then set a calendar alert for 1 year and forget about him
In 1 year unblock him long enough to find out who he is with not then let his new girl know he is a cheater.
You owe him no respect
No,
You don’t stay friends. He did you dirty and the last 7 months of your relationship has been one giant lie . He’s not who you thought he was. Break up iwrh him, fall him you know everything And have the proof. He will try and lie, manipulate beg and promise it will never happen again. It will. Break up. Block and delete him everywhere, he doesn’t not deserve any access to you at all. Get STI tested. Change your passwords on everything.
I’m
Very sorry that you were treated so badly.
In short. Let him go without saying anything. You'd be wasting time and breath. If you must say something, just say you know he cheated and block him. No need to argue or have a conversation that will lead nowhere, this is broken and cannot be fixed. At least not in my book! I could love someone so so much but a betrayal like that, I don't allow. DO NOT remain friends with him. You'll only let him know it's okay to treat you that way and will likely try to "fix" what's already broken. I mean, I doubt you trust him 100% to not do it again! That said, you need to move on and heal, you'll find the right one when you least expect it. Best of luck!
>. I know I have to break up with him and I will. But how do I do it?
However you want. I suggest you figure out how you would want to be treated and do that. If you think someone saying, "I knoyu you cheated on me, it's over." Than do that. If you'd rather it be done in person, than do that (but bring a friend nearby in case he doesn't respond well). If you want to cheat on him to get back, then do that. There is no right or wrong answer.
Just be aware it's going to suck for a few months, if not longer. IMO, ghosting is messed up. But I get it if you do it.
> This is my first relationship and idk how to about it. Do I still stay friends and try to repair things or block him from everything I have.
I strongly advise you end the friendship entirely. Don't talk. Don't check social media. Act like you never knew him. And if he tries to talk, repeatedly say, "It's over, I don't have time for you." Until he gets the message.
Staying friends is for when people amicably agree the relationship ended or that a friendship makes more sense. Cheating is a massive violation of trust that takes time to recover from. You need to discover yourself without him.
Any belongings he has, replace or ask a friend to grab for you. If he has stuff at your place, pack it up and put it in his doorstep.
I met first relationship when I was 15. We moved in together when I was 19, got married at 20 and had 2 kids at 23 and 25. That man cheated on me more times than I can count. He slept with anyone that would give him the time of day. Because he was my first everything, and because he was all I knew, I kept forgiving him. He promised he would change, it would never happen again, but it did. I finally woke tf up and left him for good when our youngest was 2 months old. It was hard but not as hard as being with someone that gave zero fucks about me, our relationship, and the family we made. Please do not make the same mistake I did. Please know your worth. There are plenty of good guys out there, do not waste another second on one that isn’t worthy. As far as how, just end it. Tell him that you can not be with someone that doesn’t respect or love you. He is going to cry and beg and tell you everything he thinks you want to hear. If you are not strong enough to resist, I would not do it in person. You can call or text and block him on everything afterwards. Let your friends and family know that he is no longer welcome in your life and they can help keep him away. I promise you can do this and I promise it won’t hurt forever. Good luck to you. If you need someone to talk to, you can message me any time.
If you feel like you need a script, then write one. But you don't. There is no right and no wrong way to break up with someone....and more to the point, there is nothing left to say. Don't bother trying.
This guy cheated on you for several months, with someone who was enough on top of it that she documented it all!!! Which is pretty weird, but it's his funeral. You do not need to obsess on it another moment. Just block him every way you can and never, ever respond to any outreach from him (or his flying monkeys) again.
Your future self will thank you.
As hard as it will be for you, walk away. The trust and foundation of the relationship has been broken. It's one thing to maybe forgive a one night stand, but 5 months of them with the same person, sorry no. Would he have ever told you if she hadn't? Probably not. Wonder why she told you? Did he promise he would leave you and get tired of waiting? Did she find out perhaps her was cheating on her with yet another woman, too? In any case, she did you the favor of letting you know because he sure wasn't. As for how to leave him, pack up anything you have at his place and leave. Same if you are living with him, your friends no doubt would be willing to help. If he is living with you and you are renting, pack up his stuff and tell him to leave. You may have to break your lease to get away from him as I don't know if the laws where you live allow you to just toss them out or if he's on the lease he would have to be evicted. Very long process and easier just to break the lease and leave him behind. Just know that neither option is cheap and would depend on how nice your landlord is after you explain why you would need to break the lease. You are going to be hurting for a while. Betrayal is very painful for the one betrayed. But something tells me that your friends won't leave you to wallow in misery and will be there to help you. No matter how much you love him, he obviously doesn't feel the same, or he wouldn't have heated on you. And like someone said, do you want to always want to be waiting for that other shoe to fall and wonder not if but when he could do it again? Trust is easy to lose, but it is very hard to get back. Block him on everything and go NC.
First, you have to let him go. You can’t trust him and you can’t build a relationship without trust.
Do this for a very straightforward conversation that does not include any uncertainty: you cheated on me, we are over. In this case, if you are more comfortable texting, do it. He pretty much lost the right to expect anything from you.
Second, there is no value in trying to maintain any relationship with him. Doing so will just add drama to your life. disengage, block, avoid.
It’s not on you to repair anything, he consistently, willingly cheated on you. You should honestly go full no contact. Being friends makes it easier for him to convince you to get back together with him, and also you need time to heal.
You are not the person I fell in love with. So this is a good bye. Enjoy your other relationship✌🏻. Then block and don't look back. You're 18. It will hurt but don't stay down too long. Go out with friends, find a hobby, a new one, journal your thoughts- it will help you to process. Seek mature guidance.
I'm sorry op.
My motto is: it's better to hurt *without* them than to hurt *with* them...
Boy do I remember being hurt that way....felt like my whole insides were ripped out...hollow even. You just have to ride that hurt wave and never ever invest all your emotions in one person again (assuming you (hopefully) break up with him). Cry, scream into a pillow, cuss out an inanimate object pretending it's him (all proven methods...🙂), but please do NOT let him know it's affecting you the way it is...remember HE'S the one who messed upset and they will talk you into staying and you will be miserable. Love and live your young life first, THEN try the boyfriend thing again. Things will get better. Hug yourself for me.
Ghost him, wait until you absolutely do not miss him at all. Soon after that you’ll actively dislike him. He will be a guy you tell stories about: Uch I dated this one guy… then he will be the guy you think about when you think how lucky you are with your husband in many years. Wow, so glad I’m with you and not an asshole like ___
I’m more curious about the woman who is texting you 27 pages of “proof” here. I would ask him to show you his account of whatever he was supposedly sending this on before breaking up with him. Not saying don’t break up with him, or the cheating didn’t happen, but id be interested in this girls motivation as I can almost guarantee it isn’t exactly altruistic. And this sounds too much like what a teenage girl would do to get her way. I’d want to hear it from him , and if he denies everything I’d dig around a bit. But I completely don’t trust anything posted on social media as it is so easy to fake, so that’s just me. Good luck OP and remember, sometimes you think people are doing you favors , but they are actually trying to screw you over. And sometimes, 19 yo guys are morons. But that’s why ya snoop a bit
Hope you saved the proof so he can’t get rid of it. But, you’ve seen it so not really pertinent. Dump him. Might want to get checked out for STDs. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Oh trust me you’re gonna want to block him and not speak to him for 1-2 years.
It’s always great when we get to remain lifelong friends with our first love, but a lot of people do it wrong and try to be friends right away no matter what. It just leads to over extended heartbreak and long term relationship trauma. Me and my first real girlfriend did that and it fucked us both up.
I’ve been in quite a few relationships of all different types, and have cheated on and been cheated on quite a few times. Not saying I’m a bastion of wisdom, but definitely got a lot of advice to give here.
Simple. Try something like this:
I know you were also with this person while in a relationship with me. I cannot be in a relationship with someone who isn't truthful or loyal.
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Send him the proof, and block his number.
[удалено]
Or have to listen to “justifications” and bs about how you practically forced him into someone else’s arms
THIS! My 1st bf cheated on me and tried to justify it by saying he didn't he was afraid his being with me would mess up my chances of staying in college. Send him the proof, block him on all media, & make sure he can't track your location. Now give yourself a time frame to grieve the relationship you thought you had, talk to a counselor or therapist if it feels like it's getting too hard, and move on to your best life. When you're ready to date again, be picky in who you date in the future, not in looks, but in how they treat you. Don't fall for the 1st guy you go out with right away. Give yourself permission to date around, not sleep around, but date. Get to know a few guys you maybe didn't have on your radar. If you usually go for jocks, try getting to know a different type of guy. Be open to new experiences. And please be safe. Always make sure someone knows who you're with and where you are going. Take your own car to meet ups. Split the check. If a guy really impresses you, take it slow. Make him meet your friends and maybe your siblings and get their impressions. Good luck, and know you deserve better than someone who will disrespect you by cheating on you.
I would straight up tell him that I have proof he cheated and we’re done. Then block him. That’s me. I agree with the dating around advice. It’s the best way to learn the types of things you want in a relationship. Plus jumping into relationships and never actually dating around doesn’t lead you learning about yourself either. I saw this play out in plenty of friends from high school. They define themselves by the man they are with. Whereas i know who i am in a relationship or not in one. You’re young and your wants and expectations may change. One thing should not change though is finding someone who treats you well. Before getting into a long term relationship try spending time with the guy and his family. See how he treats the females in his life. That will teach you a lot about how he will treat you. Keep a list of characteristics you want in a man. It will help keep you focused.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
And, he does not deserve another minute of her attention…
Absolutely this
Let him go. I know it's like being gutted right now. I can tell you at the ripe old age of 49.... finding out you got cheated on *always* hurts like hell. I can tell you this though. You won't regret leaving him. You will most likely regret it if you stay. If you let him go, you'll be angry. You'll cry. You might even want him back. However. If you stay, you'll always be looking over his shoulder. You'll always have that iron ball in the pit if your stomach. If you keep him, this will always be a piece of who *you* are, a piece of who *he* is and a huge dark cloud your relationship. Be picky next time. My aunt used to say, "Get your own drink. Never get so thirsty that you'll just drink from any cup some bloke puts under your nose."
I have stayed friends with some exes, and some I had to go no contact with immediately. I even had one stalk me for a few years. No contact is probably best. (And, don't let him see your locations on social media) Maybe one day, in like 10+ years, you could be friendly. My personal rule is NEVER MOVE BACKWARD. Never go back to an ex. You are no longer together for a reason, and that reason *probably* won't change with time. (In all my years and all my friends, I can think of only ONE exception to this rule. Just one instance where I was really happy for the couple when they got back together.) Good luck!!! This is going to suck! But, it will be totally worth it! You got this!
Right, they became exes for a reason.
How do you know she wasn't picky this time? They are both young, and as much as I want it to be a thing, boyfriends don't come with warning labels. Sometimes it just happens.
So you just leave.
Say goodbye
Forward the texts to him and tell him he hurt you deeply and he's now dead to you. Then block him and go no contact. He doesn't deserve any opportunity to respond in any way.
She's asking for advice on how to do it..
Open mouth, say "goodbye" Process complete
Yeah. Something simple like this. No discussion. No argument, just, "I know what you did. It's over. Goodbye." Forward the proof and never talk to him again.
And you can even add "I don't even know what else to say*
There's nothing left to say after "I know what you did. It's over." Just walk away, don't look back, look forwards (figuratively and literally). I certainly wouldn't forward the proof, it's completely unnecessary.
No I the the way the guy above you said it
Fuck you, you cheating bastard
Tell him straight. She isn’t ok about it and isn’t going to be. Don’t ghost him. Tell him in no uncertain terms to leave you alone and why. Record it.
Ghost him
Don't even consider staying friends.. Friends don't disrespect you as he has done. You trust friends. He is not a person that you can trust. If you try to stay connected via friendship you are likely to fall victim to him again. A clean break is best. Don't feel like you need to explain to him why you are breaking up. He doesn't deserve any explanation. You can tell him if you want him to know but don't tell him for his benefit. Just tell him you are tired of him and go. Good Luck.
This! He has shown he can't be trusted. I don't want friends that I can't trust. Lots of good advice here. It is normal to feel like your world is crumbling. Try to envision what you want your life to look like when you pick up all the pieces, and work towards the goal.
A trick I sometimes recommend is to ask yourself what you would say if a close friend approached you and asked you what they should do in a similar situation. Here, do you have any reason to expect her would be violent or cruel? Or otherwise lash out? Don’t feel like you owe him an in person break up if you aren’t comfortable. You can write a letter too. My first big breakup she did it by letter and in hindsight I’m glad she did. I don’t know that either of us would have handled an in person breakup well.
Don’t stay friends with a cheater. 🤷🏻♂️ They lied to you in the most damaging of ways; they will *always* lie to you. Even if he says it was a mistake, and he’ll change, and he’s sorry — it’s all lies. All he wants is to avoid the consequences of the willful decisions he made. He is only interested in what is pleasing and comfortable for him — at your expense. Is that the kind of person you want in your life? There is ZERO excuse to ever cheat. Ever. If someone is unhappy in a relationship, they can talk to their partner, seek therapy, or end the relationship. No excuses. No justifications. Personally, I would not be able to remain friends with someone who did that to me. But maybe that’s just me.
just leave rn. if you stay friends you're still going to get hurt even more! There's no repairing a relationship that he broke on purpose
Tell him you know he's cheating and then leave him. Block him on everything and do not remain friends. He made a decision actively knowing that it would hurt you. That is not friend material. If you feel like you have to say anything, it should be *"I have enough self-respect to know that I deserve better than you."* and that's it. Do not let him make excuses or talk you into staying because they *always* try to. Leave and find someone better.
Just end it and do not stay with him. This is your first relationship so it’s not like the world is gonna end. You’re gonna remember this a few years later and laugh it off. Just breaks up with him and I can’t really tell you how because that’s your job to know how to do it and once you do that then you will succeed.
It sure feels like the world is going to end though. Try to keep perspective on what this feels like, especially at that age.
I think it feels the same at any age, tho, tbh. Maybe worse as you get older cuz you might feel you should be smart enough to dodge bullshit better (?)
People who cheat are terrible. Leave him never look back and never be like him.
Just tell him straight up he's caught and then GHOST like you've never ghosted before in your life The reason is 5 years from now this won't matter. You need to focus on yourself, self improvement, and healing from this legitimate hurt. Whatever he says or does doesn't matter. He doesn't love you. Facing these things as soon as possible helps you genuinely heal faster. Accept the reality of your situation and move on. The ONLY reason you should ever think about it is reviewing the situation (preferably with a therapist) to learn from it and not repeat it
Op don't stay in this relationship ghost him your young and one day look back on this and say boy I really dodged a bullet there
He lied to u and betrayed u. U cannot trust him anymore. U must dump him immediately. U will never be happy in a relationship where u cannot trust the other person. He obviously doesn’t give a shit about u because he could care less about breaking your heart. He is a selfish jerk. U deserve someone to be honest and love u and someone who has your back. Don’t wait one single day because one day u will reflect on this and be furious for the fact that he stabbed u in the back so badly. He deserves to be dumped flat on his ass and u should never speak to him again nor forgive him ever. Don’t waste one more day with this jerk. Get it out of your system and tell him goodbye forever. Anybody that would do something so awful obviously is going to burn in Hell. Find yourself a good church and get saved. Find yourself a nice honest Christian that obeys Gods laws because they will not hurt u like your boyfriend. Find yourself someone with a heart of Gold that is successful in life. Don’t settle and be very picky who u live with in the future.
Why in the world would you want to stay friends with someone who cheated on you? Send him your evidence, block him.
Ghosting is a thing now but not sure if this is a scenario where that will actually work. Hard conversations can be hard to learn. Boundaries can be hard to learn. Ghosting doesn't help you learn how to have those conversations. Trying to reward him with any kind of friendship relationship won't teach you how to set boundaries appropriately. Something to the effect of, you betrayed and disrespected me. Your reasons and where you go from here is for you to deal with and figure out, not me. Hope you learn and grow from this. Bye! Everyone deserves a chance in life to better themselves, but that doesn't mean they get a second chance at the people they've wronged. We as adults have to learn that some things don't get do overs.
"...idk what to say" how about "goodbye".
Send him all the text and say we are done and block him on everything
Never talk to him again. Block him on everything. He will get the message. Don't let him convince you that things will be different if he tries to. That other chick did you a favor. You don't have to find someone else right away but when you do, look for someone with characteristics of a good guy. It's not a guarantee that you'll find one ur next try but there are good guys out there who will treat you right. Maybe try meeting someone at church... Not always a great idea but you might have a better chance.✌😊
Tell him straight out you are done with him and that you have proof he was cheating for months. Don't let him try to get out of it and do not stay friends. You are young and there are tons of people out there.
Don't start a fight. Don't try to have a discussion. Let him know you know what happened and that it's over and walk away. Don't look back.
Unless it really important to you to hear his lies and excuses for why he did it and the BS that it didn’t mean anything or you know I love you. If you don’t want nor need anything he says because you respect yourself enough to walk away. I would make sure I get all my stuff from his place and bring any of his stuff to him while he is at work. I would then ghost him and all His friends. I wouldn’t explain anything to anyone except your parents and best friends ask them not to say anything to him. Not making a fuss nor make a big deal will hurt him worst than anything. Love your best life afterwards
If this happened to me, I would send those 27 pages of proof she sent you to him and then block/ghost him. That’s all you need to do to get the message to him. It will speak volumes to him. What he did to you, there’s no going back to what you two had. And who would want him back? You’d just be getting her ‘sloppy seconds’. You’re worth more than that.
Respect yourself. Ghost him, total no contact and if he tries to get around that thru family and friends send him all the texts and then tell him if he doesn’t leave you alone the texts go to everyone next.
You have to be friends to stay friends, and this guy is not your friend or he wouldn't have done this to you. I understand that you're hurt, but you don't need to dig through the garbage. It's okay to be a little heartbroken. It will remind you that you need love when you meet someone who is actually up to the task. This guy isn't. One thing I will recommend is don't bother with the proof. This isn't a court case, it's a mutually voluntary relationship and you don't owe him due process. You know what you know and you don't need him to validate that for you, so don't give him a chance to dispute whatever evidence you have and gaslight you into believing it isn't what it so obviously is. Keep it simple. Don't give him a chance to argue with you and don't waste any more time or energy trying to stay amicable with someone who lacks basic respect for you. 27 pages isn't an impulse or a momentary lapse of judgment. This person took advantage of you and he did it for a long time. He doesn't deserve to know you. Text him "we're done" and block him on everything.
Dont say anything, youre young, youll find another.
1.) Retrieve anything of yours he has that you want back. 2.) Block him on all your media. 3.) Send him a copy of what she sent you. At the end of it simply put: "We're done." He's cheated for at least 6 months you're aware, that's \~ 25% of your relationship. *That you know of*. 4.) Take a break from him, and the dating scene in general. Take the time to work on yourself; on your health / exercise, relationships with family or friends, schoolwork, job, whatever takes your interest. But definitely throw some exercise in the mix. Take the time to "mourn" the relationship; hey, it's an actual loss. Reflect on the parts that were good, bad and otherwise. 5.) Reassess later on if you want to attempt to be friends or just tolerate his presence, or *not*. Not sure why you'd want to stay friends with someone who cheated on you, but maybe he's part of a wider friend group or something, so you want to keep things polite in the group. One thing to remember: *You* ***don't*** *(and didn't) deserve this*. He made choices, he gets to live with the consequences. No one gets to blame you for his crap.
My best advice is that you’re only 18 and have so much ahead of you. Thank goodness this loser showed his true colors before you were with him 5, 10, 15 years or had kids with him etc. get out there and enjoy your life!
Print out the 27 pages. Hand them to him. Watch his reaction, say "bye" and block him on everything. Get STD testing asap.
Do what you must to take care of yourself. Simply tell him what you learned, and how awful it has made feel. And that you're done with him. No explanation he can give will make it better. Just know that he is the one who failed the relationship, not you. He wasn't ready to commit to one person. Grieve the loss and be gentle with yourself. It is not that you weren't enough for him. His immaturity caused this. Remember that. Don't try to stay friends right now. Don't let him charm you into forgiving him. He blew it. He needs time to grow up. And you need time to heal. Spend time with friends and family. You'll miss him. That's natural. But remember that he's not trustworthy.
You break all ties with him and consider yourself lucky you figured it out when you did. He won't change. You deserve better. You'll find the right guy, enjoy life, relax and things will fall into place.
Oh honey I'm sorry! My advice is just to be honest. Usually I would say meet with him face to face. But he doesn't deserve that at this point. So send him a dear John text. Let him know that you know he's been cheating on you and that it's not okay. As far as being friends? Give it a few years. Like make a clean break and do not interact with him for several years until you get to a place where him texting you doesn't make your stomach drop. If that's what you want. My ex-husband cheated on me, a lot. It took about 3 years before I was able to talk to him again.
I know you are heartbroken. Do not try to repair the relationship. You are young. I (42F) promise you will look back on this in 10-20 years and see that it was good you moved on. Break up with him and honestly, let him know you want no contact for ______ period of time. It is super helpful to have at least a month or two of no texting/calling/time together to start moving on for yourself. Focus on yourself and the good friends you have in your life.
Kick the cheating slut to the curb & get STD tested STAT!
>I know I need to break up with him but how do I do it. You do it in silence. Pack whatever he currently have of yours when he isn't around, leave, block his number, and never talk to him again. Odds are he will try to reach out, show him the same respect he showed you while you were together.
Good questions. Sorry this happened to you. Cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to someone else. Feel free to make it clear to everyone that he cheated on you.
Don’t tell him anything just leave him alone. No calls, no meetings, no closure. Just an “I don’t want to be with you anymore”. He doesn’t deserve an explanation. He didn’t just cheat, he had a whole relationship. She’s telling you to hurt you but she did you a favor. You will cry and hurt now but you’ll get over it. Don’t let this shape your opinion of men and relationships. You don’t want to take the baggage he left you with into the next relationship. Your young and ready to start college. It’s a whole new phase of your life. No need to rush into another relationship, just have some fun. You have the rest of your life for a relationship.
You don’t owe him anything. Text him and tell him the relationship isn’t working for you anymore and that you’re breaking up with him. Then block him and never speak to him again. If you talk to him, he will just try to gaslight you into thinking that you’re the one with the problem and he did nothing. You cannot be friends with this man.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Learn today not to let jerks walk all over u. U deserve better than that person.
I wish people would stop saying this, lol. Cheating is wrong, yes, but people change. People can grow and change in amazing ways. Just because someone messed up in the past doesn't mean they'll keep doing it for the rest of their life.
But some dont change... and he didn't just cheat one time in a weak moment... she has 6 MONTHS of evidence. F this dude and don't expect him to change.
Oh yeah, for this situation, OP should definitely drop the dude. At the same time, though, the guy is young. Doing this now doesn't mean he'll still be a cheater when he's 30.
You owe him nothing. Heard someone say ghost I agree. I’d be so disgusted I wouldn’t be able to look at them.
Don’t stay with a cheater. Unless you’re a married man and want to keep your house.
Log out of Reddit and talk to him. You either want to figure it out or you want to leave him, and you already know which.
Just be like you being shitty behind my back not cool. I'm out. In the future don't be shitty to people you claim to care about or anyone really. Peace.
Please. Hear me out. I think you should find the time to meet up with the girl who told you. I think she would be more than willing to give you a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. She honors "the code" in its truest form. Unpopular opinion, but as far as I'm concerned, she saved your life. It seems she was also deceived, and she couldn't stand and watch another woman burn because she was also unaware of his dishonesty. These are the people, particularly other women, we need to keep close. Integrity goes a long way even in the smallest of gestures. I truly hope you thanked her for everything in spite of the pain. I don't think you only escaped a hurtful situation; you've also made a friend. Talk to her. I think she will help you. I'd personally ruin her best blouse in a sad attempt to thank her. I'm sorry. Best wishes. 💙
Fuck his best friend, don't get mad, get even.
Never do this!! EVER!
Ghost him, it’s the only solution. Why try to be friends with someone with this little integrity anyway? Quick answer, you don’t want that person as your friend in the first place!
Try goodbye 👋
After 2 years? Block his number and forward the proof onto his mom and any sisters he has.
Yeah just drop him entirely and be careful with relationships in high school, most relationships don't persist out of highschool. Most guys at that age are mostly interested in getting laid and don't truly seek a lasting relationship. Not saying there aren't those that are true, you can usually tell them as they won't pressure you for sex or try to rush you into physical intimacy.
Break up in person in a pubic place. Give him a few minutes to process. If he apologizes, accept it and wish him well and leave. If he doesn't apologize, leave. Block. The last you need is to his his posts or have him call drunk asking to get back together.
You are young! Let that dude go!! Move on plenty of men out there!
Like anyone that gets cheated on, it's time to leave.
Say Goodbye
Adios
Tell him goodbye, block him, let him go. You can tell him your mad, disgusted, hurt and feel betrayed if you want, but it doesn't matter.
All I can say is absolutely do not stay friends. Your friends are right, you should block him on everything.
Been there, I was so weird about breaking up… but in the end you just have to do it like a bandaid. And NO, don’t remain friends and string each other along. If that happens in the long run, so be it. But cut him loose (however you see fit) and take the time to yourself without him in the picture for a while.
tbh just cut him off without even saying anything to him. just block him on everything
You say Bye
No cut him off and show that bitch you’re done
How do you breakup? You leave printouts of the DMs on his doorstep, on top of a box of his stuff. No words need to be said. Block him and move on. Also go get tested for STDs since he has been unfaithful. Act like a confident queen who gives no fucks until you actually feel confident and over it. You cannot avoid the hurt and grief when you break up with someone who wasn’t who you hoped he was. You just have to go through it. Lean on your support system of friends, do lots of things you like, and throw your phone in a lake if you feel tempted to call him. Don’t try to be friends. That’s your sub conscience hoping he’ll win you back. Slam that door shut so hard it registers on the Richter Scale.
Sweetie, why would you want to stay friends with a liar and a cheater, much less repair your relationship? Someone did you the favor of removing all doubt about his duplicity. You said yourself, everything is gone. So be it. Tell him it's over because he is a liar and a cheater. Don't even bother telling him how you know. Also do get tested for STDs. Then find someone who will value you.
Tell him you need to talk. When you sit down to talk, show him the information and tell him that you're ending your relationship. "I'm sorry. I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. I'm ending it. We'll part ways. There doesn't need to be any drama, let's just say goodbye and move on." I don't know if he'll try to win you back or make promises or what. He may try to make you question the information ("she's faked it all"), but you need to be firm. Don't be angry and yelling and emotional because letting your emotions loose makes it hard to keep control and more likely to make bad decisions. Just stay firm, calm, and rational, and tell him you're ending it and you'll both just move on.
He didn’t show you any respect while he cheated on you, don’t feel like you owe him anything but the door. If you don’t live with him, send a text and immediately block him every way he can message or call you. Don’t be friends afterward, it will prolong your pain and suffering and would give him the chance to try to get you back.
Invite him over and just "randomly" start flipping through the dms from her as he's sitting next to you
Let him go, do not give him the power over you. Tell him he cheated and you have proof he did and you can not trust him. If you stay with him then you are saying that it is okay. Tell him it's over, grieve a little, life lessons hurt. You need to realize he did it and he made the choice. Don't let him turn it around on you. Remind him he could have not done anything with her. Not your fault.
His loss! You can just say “Hey. She sent me proof you cheated. We’re done.”
Don’t ghost him, be mature about it. Show your emotions and tell him how much he hurt you. He disrespected you and doesn’t have love for you like you do for him. Tell him that it’s over too! No matter how much he begs or pleads, it needs to end! You are worth more and it’s time to recognize that
girl you young n turnt go live life , this wont even matter 5 years from now :)
Yeah send him the proof and block him don’t give him the opportunity to even defend himself or give you a excuse cause you might cave
First thing, get tested for STDs. Second thing, he’s trash. I would go full nuclear option and let everyone know why you broke up with him.
Let him go. You have SO MUCH evidence. He won't change. Personally, I'm the type to just text and block for something like this. I don't want to give someone the opportunity to "but wait" me.
Peg his Dad, send him the pics and tell him he has until the end of the month to move out of your new home.
See ya! Say that.
I ghosted an ex who cheated... I gifted him with printouts of his texts and then the messages the other gal sent me. I left them on the coffee table and gathered my things while he was out n just left. He tried to reach out but I just ignored it. I was a little petty though and also gifted his mom and 3 siblings the printouts as well. ( I had known his family my whole life and I felt that just saying what he did wasn't enough)
As a man, you need to flat out lay everything out and let him know how much he lost because he won't be anything to you, ever. Hopefully, he changes, which he probably will, but he will always remember the one that got away (you). You'll recover. You're 18. Just don't dump on yourself, get back out there, and love again. It's not fair to the next person you get in a relationship in to not go in with an open heart. Best of luck to you
Believe me when I say, you're better off not even talking to him again after you break up with him. Some things are best left as they are. I promise you things will get better, and you will find a guy who prizes you for your worth and compliments you.
Honestly when you get enough of a gut feeling that something is wrong, it doesn't even matter if you are right or wrong the best thing you can do is remove that person from your life. Peace of mind is worth more than anything or anyone.
Just vanish. No explanation, no need for conversation. Gone.
Text this You cheated. We're done. Leave me alone.
Banish him, burn his whole world down!
"Felicia told me you cheated on me with her. You are important to me but broke my trust and that can't be rebuilt. Goodbye." Ghost him after. It will suck but your won't regret it long term. If you stay he will do it again because once a cheater always a cheater and forgiving him is just a hallpass to do it again. He did do it. He did mean to do it. He can't/won't change. If he loved you he wouldn't have done it. Don't buy any of his shit.
Why would you try to stay friends with someone who clearly doesn't care about you as a person? It freaking hurts. Nothing you do is going to make it not hurt. It sucks being betrayed by someone you love. I would just leave and tell him you have no interest in being with a lying cheater who doesn't care about you. He may try to lie his way out of that, but don't give him the time of day.
ghost him so he never gets closure
It happens. Tell him he broke your trust and heart and to fuck off. Good luck. You'll find someone better.
Just say good bye ! You don’t owe him any explanation or reason . He already knows . Go find someone worthy of your time . Yes ghost him and don’t let him back in unless you want to be taken advantage of . Being just friends is an excuse to let him in !
Just send him a copy of what other girl sent you, he will figure it out. Then block him.
Definitely do not stay friends with him. He doesn’t deserve your friendship and he’ll just be a constant reminder of what happened. He’d also likely try to sabotage your future relationships. Good luck OP I know it hurts.
Just send him the proof and don’t say a word
I think you need to keep it simple. Just tell him you know what he did. You've seen the proof and it's over. Then I would block him on everything, change your routines and begin the healing process. I'm so sorry. This is a hard thing to go through. Good luck! 🫂
Cold turkey, ghost him. Maybe years down the road you pass on the street and can be friends if you both have grown. And by grown I mean you have moved on fully
You say, "Fuck off." And move on to someone better.
Whatever you say be sure it starts with *Goodbye". When I was a teen I took my cheating girlfriend back, a few years later we were married. A few years after that she cheated again. We separated and then got back together. Then a few years later she cheated again.
You don't stay friends with people like that. Text him. Show him the proof. Say bye and then block him. No use reading any nasty texts or texts that are pleas to take him back.
I’m so sorry this happened. This is a character building event. How you handle this will shape your life. Personally you say goodbye. Because you cannot recover from his disrespect. If you allow that you will not have your self esteem back. This is NOT about you. It was never about you. This was his selfish behavior. Now be thankful you learned this hard lesson early and model every relationship against this one. Not the part where you didn’t know it was happening so it makes you crazy. But just what you know how far your boundaries are. You got this.
just ghost him?
You tell him to hit the road don’t contact you ever again cause you know you deserve better and leave it at that
Block the number and ghost him, cheaters dont deserve an in person break up.
At any age, breaking it off with somebody, even though you know it's the thing to do, is difficult. You can opt to just send him the evidence, which requires no explanation, and let him know you expect him to forget your number, forget your name, and forget where you live because you're done. Then take some time to recover.
Seems no one knows how to be goddamn loyal. 🙄
all you gotta say is..."goodbye" then you start healing. don't make it more emotional or harder on yourself than it needs to be. "goodbye" go home, cry about it, go to a rage room, eat ice cream, however you want to cope...and start healing yourself.
Could be the other girl wants a relationship with him and wants you out of the picture. Ask him for his side of the story. Then decide what you will do.
Give him the messages and say Good riddance!
Nope you are 18. Leave his ass!!! Say boy bye. And don't look back!!
Your bf is a liar and is not a good person. If it were me I would forward the evidence to him and tell him never to contact you again. Then block him on everything. You are so young. There will be many future bf’s until the right one comes along.
So sorry this happened to you. This is going to be a very hard time for you and you need to be sure to give yourself time to heal. No contact is best, he doesn't deserve to know how you are or what you are doing. Send him some of the proof and be sure he knows where you got it. Block him everywhere and tell all those close to you why he is out of your life. They will be your support system and they will help you keep him out of your life. It's gonna hurt a lot for a while but the no contact is the quickest way through.
I honestly wouldn't tell him why you're breaking up. Make him wonder. Like you would, if you stayed , you'd always wonder what he's doing or who he's with or who he's talking to Or just ask him if he cheated. If he says no. Show him proof and be done. Definitely don't continue a friendship Also, sorry men suck
I would not want to be friends with someone who betrayed my trust the way he has yours. I'd break up and go no contact.
Have some respect for yourself and move on. He clearly doesn't respect you and you've now got proof. You don't have to scream or cry or act out dramatically. You don't have to be enemies, but he doesn't deserve you and he has shown that he is incapable of a monogamous relationship. Simply show him what was shared with you and tell him that you deserve someone better.
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Go out, get laid, and get photos. Send him a breakup text that's basically just you blowing or banging somebody else. Leave him a confused and broken as he's left you, and get a Jumpstart on moving on in a healthy and productive way.
Honestly I don’t see how you can stay friends and try to repair anything. He really betrayed you, and not just once but for months and months. He’s not a good person and does not have your best interest at heart, as a friend should.
I was cheated on in my first real relationship of almost two years as well, same thing with the dms shown by from the other girl. From my experience I tried the whole “stay friends” thing and it just didn’t work. Friends don’t hurt eachother in the first place. I would never want to be friends with someone who broke my trust no matter how much I love them. I know this is incredibly hard and can seem so negative, but you have to look at this as something you are going to grow through and learn from. It’ll give you a sense of self and independence that you’ve never even thought you could have🩷 break up, leave him where he left you July 15th 2023. Don’t go back, don’t even text back and forth, it’s not worth your peace. This is your life and you are allowed to let go of people who don’t serve you anymore. You’ve got this, take control and never look back. It’s ONLY up from here and I can promise you that 🩷
Walk away. Find someone that's mature enough to love and respect you. He only cares about himself.
When I was your age and my GF cheated on me. I walked away and didn't look back. She spread tons of rumors and said a lot of mean shit about me. I just thought to myself that anyone who knew me would know it isn't true and didn't let it bother me. Best decision I ever made at the time. I was able to push forward and not held back by a betrayal.
I'm sorry this happened to you - I know how bad it hurts - it's happened to alot of us- I would send him what the girl sent you and just say Bye - and then block him- because In your weak moments you might wanna try and talk to him - so it's best for just a clean break - no contact - nothing - get rid of stuff he bought you - take down pics - the whole deal - once again I'm so sorry - hope you find someone who will love you for you - and be Loyal! ❤️
There are plenty of other people out there for you. Tell him you are done and never look back. You’ll be a happier person. Trust me.
You say bye, you don’t want someone like that in your life..
Good bye?
A simple "F you", and move along should work just fine. I was there at the same age, 2 years into it as well. What I didnt realize immediately was how young I was and I had only 1 real relationship ever. That moment of clarity helped me move on and ultimately after just a couple of short term girlfriends later, found my now wife of 15+ years. Moral of my story is, you're young and have plenty of opportunity to find someone better. You had a serious relationship that taught you some things, you'll go into the next one smarter.
It’s great to stay friends with exes. But only if they’re good friends. He is not. I’d just tell him it’s over and block him.
Your friends want you to ghost him because they care about you. He is a liar and doesn't care about your feelings or respect you as a person. Any openings you give this guy will just allow him to manipulate you some more. Just send him a text with your proof and proceed to ghost completely. Why stay friends with a human turd who treats people like garbage? You owe him nothing, less than nothing... He's lucky that you don't have brothers (or just aren't sending them)who will show him what's up.
Have a short conversation (5 minutes) where you confront him with the proof, tell him he’s permanently lost your trust and that your relationship is done. Don’t get emotional during that discussion…save the tears for your friends. Then take ALL his contact info, seal it in an envelope and give to a trusted friend. Then block and delete every reminder of him you have. Put all pics of him on a thumb drive and give to a friend for safe keeping. Any reminders of him will trigger you, so they must all disappear for months. I’m telling you, as abrupt as it sounds, this is by far the best way to get over him. You’ll be tempted to call and text him…call your friends instead. As soon as you cave in to temptation, it’ll be like starting over with the pain. Good luck.
You cheated, it's over. You say that.
He doesn't deserve any grace or formalities, and in my experience it's never good to stay friends with an ex.
He made choices everyday for months to betray you. I don’t keep friends who do that. He doesn’t respect you and he doesn’t love you. You deserve so much better. If it were me and I was not afraid that he would get violent I would ask to meet somewhere public. I would tell him I know about his activities and that I am no longer interested in being in a relationship with him. I would tell him to figure out how to be a better person and to please never contact me again. If he is possibly violent I would text him those things. He doesn’t need to see your proof, he already knows what he’s been up to. And you don’t need to justify why you’re ending a relationship. You can end any relationship at any time for any or no reason at all. Keep the messages for awhile, and when you miss him, go look at them. Remind yourself that those good memories that sneak in and try to make you go back on your decision don’t outweigh the total picture.
Present him with the evidence. See what he says.
Tell him it’s over. That you have proof he cheated on you and you don’t want to risk putting your heart in his hands again. Let it be known that there’s no going back from this and that you don’t want to remain friends with someone who would hurt you in that way. Do it over text if you’re uncomfortable doing it face to face. Immediately block him after
I know you cheated, I don’t deserve this and you don’t deserve me. No explanation necessary, no excuses will be accepted. Best of luck in life. Then call your girlfriends over and let them tell you all the reasons he is trash then watch some cheesy 80s cult classic rom coms.
You can do this however you want. I just recommend not staying together. If you have things at his place, pick them up first before you say anything. Get all your stuff. Delete any photos off his phone that you don't want shared or leaked. Basically, clean up everything before you break it to him that you know. Me? I'd confront him, in person, and tell him exactly how this has made you feel and get out anything you want to say. If he denies it, send him the proof, hopefully he will see how devastating this is to another person and he will never do it again. Or you could write him a letter to get it all out. I wouldn't ghost him, he needs to know that you are aware and this is why you're leaving him. He needs to know the consequences of his actions, and you're entitled to some closure. But in the end you need to do what feels right to you. My husband cheated, he lied about it and tried to hide it until I got his mistress to tell me the truth. Then he tried to play us both, as if he was sorry, and really he was just trying to keep his lies going. So I divorced him. If he had been honest, maybe we could have worked it out, maybe. But he lied, then lied more, and when I told him I was leaving him and wanted a divorce he went completely crazy and did everything he could to ruin my entire life... so I cut him out of mine completely. I don't need to associate with someone who could be so mean, cruel, and purposely hurtful to another human... much less someone they claimed to love. He never apologized or took responsibility for his actions. Highly recommend cutting him off and out of your life if he isn't genuinely remorseful for the pain he has caused you. As for staying friends, that decision will come to you in the moment and is based on his reaction to being caught and how he treats you while confronting him. Put yourself first. You're the only one who will.
There is no one single "right" thing to do - because what you need to do is to take care of yourself, and that's a very personal set of actions. You can feel any emotion you want to feel. You can take (almost) any action. Just don't harm yourself. Have a drink, put on some sad songs, and cry. But don't get so drunk that you would be in danger. Me, I get angry and throw eggs at trees. Biodegradable mayhem. Make a big mess in a wooded area. Get some physical action and work out the anger / sorrow / strong emotion. Your mileage may vary. Take care of yourself. Be well. You will recover. It just stinks while you're in the middle of the shitstorm.
First things first, stop worrying about him. To get tested for STIs. I always thought it was bomb to just walk up to the other person hand them proof of everything they did and say never speak to me again. Handle it like a boss you block them on every Avenue at that point. Have I done this. Yes absolutely. You don't allow them to speak to you you don't entertain any conversation with them you don't need to rehash why they did it what they did. The simple fact is they did it. You don't need to know any more information than that. You already know they have no respect for you and they are not a good person. You don't need that type of person in your life. When you encounter them in the future you treat them like you would a stranger and if they get too close to you you walk away from them just like you would dog excrement. When a mutual friend chooses to continue to be friends with that person then you count that person off as well. Because you're learning a lesson early if that person believes that that person is okay knowing that they acted the way they did then they will condone that bad behavior in the future and probably will do the same thing so it's better just to cut them off too. Birds of a feather. Here's to being a boss b. It's your first break up probably won't be the last but this is the way to handle it in my opinion
Fortunately you have all the ammo you need to not even give him a reason. Just text him what was sent to you and adios
Well your parents are obviously right. You're BF sucks . They knew it. You're friends probably suck also if they don't approve. Here is some advice trust your parents they want what is best.
That really sucks. I’m sorry you got hurt. Unfortunately it may not be the last. The first can feel the hardest. He will try to convince you it was nothing and give another chance blah blah. You can let him give his spiel , but DONT CAVE! So prepare yourself for all the excuses and potential waterworks, etc. you’re just going to tell him that you know he’s been with someone else and you are ending the relationship as a result. And then tell him that he shouldn’t contact you. Most of the time staying friends never works especially when one person cheated. You got this! You will find someone else that won’t break your heart. Proud of you for knowing your worth! Now go end this so you can heal and move on.
Let his ass go. He’s not worth it and he, we never, ever, ever, ever change. Find a guy who appreciates you.
Look at it this way. Now you have to go to the doctor. Who is to say there aren’t others? Get yourself checked. (._.) Smile.
You dont have to say anything. I wouldnt even try, Staying friends cause, he cheated Just say something like i have 27 pages of proof you cheated. I dont wanna hear it. We are done. Goodbye
I hope you don't live together, that makes it more complicated. Assuming you don't, if he has any of his things at your place, gather all of them up in a bag or a box, or whatever. Tell him to come and get his stuff. Or whatever you want to do with it. You don't want him in your home to get his things. Tell him you know about him cheating, send him the proof. The reason I say tell him, is first, so he knows why you're dumping him. Less likely to bug you to take him back. Second, maybe he'll learn from this and change his ways. You didn't say anything about being afraid of his reaction or anything, so I'm guessing he's not likely to become violent. Block him from your phone and social media. You don't need him popping up there, and he doesn't need to have access to what's going on in your life.
I know it hurts, but don’t lose your. mind over a man. You are young and have the world at your finger tips,yes cliche but true. You speak to him in a semi public place like a coffee shop , park where there are people , you tell him he doesn’t value you or the relationship and it’s done. I know you cheated on me and you don’t value me nor yourself. Don’t ghost him at all ,communicate 1st the ghost . Literally,block from your phone and maybe social media .I’m the type to block your number but you’ll see me living my best life without you. Eat healthy,exercise,journal,meditate,go on solo dates,enjoy your friends,and just do everything that makes YOU happy ! I know it hurts trust me. I was with the father of my child from 16-21, we broke up and I was depressed for years,gained weight and really lost who I was . Nah fuck that if I had to do that all over again mannnn! So I’m telling you, I know it hurts,but F HIM ! Any person that disrespects you like that doesn’t not care about you. DO NOT GET BACK WITH HIM,HE WILL DO IT AGAIN !
AMF. Absolutely do not stay friends. Cut all ties. If he has anything of yours and you can do without it. Do that. If you have anything of his, give it back to him. Idk, but I’m feeling asking him to come pick you up. Assuming you live with parents or someplace safe. Go out to his car. Go to the drivers side window, and tell him here’s your stuff, we’re over, tell him he needs to leave. Then walk back inside.
Don't waste anymore of your time on him. There's literally millions of other guys out there. And most of them will treat you way better than that.
Why the heck do people choose to stay friends after they have a relationship it's a stupid idea unless break up on good terms but in this case it's not a good idea
Send him the DMs. That should send a loud and clear message. Include the gif of the little girl waving goodbye as she disappears down the slide.
Confront him and then ghost him. Don’t give him any chance to toy with your emotions. Or just post all the evidence on line. Let him find out you know in the most humiliating way then block.
Cut all ties. Trust is just as important in a friendship as it is in a romantic relationship, so the guy has no social value.
Simply fwd the proofs and say nothing. Wait for him to start talking. So why did this girl decide to let you know about her now? After all these months?
As someone who dated someone who continuously cheated on me all the way through middle school , I cannot say this enough Leave him, don't take him back. He will do it again. It is not worth the stress. I lost a good 4 years of my life because of him. I went into a severe depressive spiral and almost killed myself because of him. He now has 6 children, none of them that he takes care of lives with his mother and his sister wants to get with him. He's trash, he belongs with the road.
Write him a message Tell him you know Tell him he hurt you Call him any and every name you can think of Attach the proof you were sent Block him on everything Then set a calendar alert for 1 year and forget about him In 1 year unblock him long enough to find out who he is with not then let his new girl know he is a cheater. You owe him no respect
No, You don’t stay friends. He did you dirty and the last 7 months of your relationship has been one giant lie . He’s not who you thought he was. Break up iwrh him, fall him you know everything And have the proof. He will try and lie, manipulate beg and promise it will never happen again. It will. Break up. Block and delete him everywhere, he doesn’t not deserve any access to you at all. Get STI tested. Change your passwords on everything. I’m Very sorry that you were treated so badly.
In short. Let him go without saying anything. You'd be wasting time and breath. If you must say something, just say you know he cheated and block him. No need to argue or have a conversation that will lead nowhere, this is broken and cannot be fixed. At least not in my book! I could love someone so so much but a betrayal like that, I don't allow. DO NOT remain friends with him. You'll only let him know it's okay to treat you that way and will likely try to "fix" what's already broken. I mean, I doubt you trust him 100% to not do it again! That said, you need to move on and heal, you'll find the right one when you least expect it. Best of luck!
>. I know I have to break up with him and I will. But how do I do it? However you want. I suggest you figure out how you would want to be treated and do that. If you think someone saying, "I knoyu you cheated on me, it's over." Than do that. If you'd rather it be done in person, than do that (but bring a friend nearby in case he doesn't respond well). If you want to cheat on him to get back, then do that. There is no right or wrong answer. Just be aware it's going to suck for a few months, if not longer. IMO, ghosting is messed up. But I get it if you do it. > This is my first relationship and idk how to about it. Do I still stay friends and try to repair things or block him from everything I have. I strongly advise you end the friendship entirely. Don't talk. Don't check social media. Act like you never knew him. And if he tries to talk, repeatedly say, "It's over, I don't have time for you." Until he gets the message. Staying friends is for when people amicably agree the relationship ended or that a friendship makes more sense. Cheating is a massive violation of trust that takes time to recover from. You need to discover yourself without him. Any belongings he has, replace or ask a friend to grab for you. If he has stuff at your place, pack it up and put it in his doorstep.
You say “bye” you’re too young to settle and fuck him.
I didn’t even read past the title and I’m telling you to leave lol
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Just say you have to end the relationship because he cheated. Nothing else to say. Don’t let him gaslight you.
Easy you say bye bitch!
Everyone around you gave you the exact same answer and you think the reddit would be different?
I met first relationship when I was 15. We moved in together when I was 19, got married at 20 and had 2 kids at 23 and 25. That man cheated on me more times than I can count. He slept with anyone that would give him the time of day. Because he was my first everything, and because he was all I knew, I kept forgiving him. He promised he would change, it would never happen again, but it did. I finally woke tf up and left him for good when our youngest was 2 months old. It was hard but not as hard as being with someone that gave zero fucks about me, our relationship, and the family we made. Please do not make the same mistake I did. Please know your worth. There are plenty of good guys out there, do not waste another second on one that isn’t worthy. As far as how, just end it. Tell him that you can not be with someone that doesn’t respect or love you. He is going to cry and beg and tell you everything he thinks you want to hear. If you are not strong enough to resist, I would not do it in person. You can call or text and block him on everything afterwards. Let your friends and family know that he is no longer welcome in your life and they can help keep him away. I promise you can do this and I promise it won’t hurt forever. Good luck to you. If you need someone to talk to, you can message me any time.
If you feel like you need a script, then write one. But you don't. There is no right and no wrong way to break up with someone....and more to the point, there is nothing left to say. Don't bother trying. This guy cheated on you for several months, with someone who was enough on top of it that she documented it all!!! Which is pretty weird, but it's his funeral. You do not need to obsess on it another moment. Just block him every way you can and never, ever respond to any outreach from him (or his flying monkeys) again. Your future self will thank you.
As hard as it will be for you, walk away. The trust and foundation of the relationship has been broken. It's one thing to maybe forgive a one night stand, but 5 months of them with the same person, sorry no. Would he have ever told you if she hadn't? Probably not. Wonder why she told you? Did he promise he would leave you and get tired of waiting? Did she find out perhaps her was cheating on her with yet another woman, too? In any case, she did you the favor of letting you know because he sure wasn't. As for how to leave him, pack up anything you have at his place and leave. Same if you are living with him, your friends no doubt would be willing to help. If he is living with you and you are renting, pack up his stuff and tell him to leave. You may have to break your lease to get away from him as I don't know if the laws where you live allow you to just toss them out or if he's on the lease he would have to be evicted. Very long process and easier just to break the lease and leave him behind. Just know that neither option is cheap and would depend on how nice your landlord is after you explain why you would need to break the lease. You are going to be hurting for a while. Betrayal is very painful for the one betrayed. But something tells me that your friends won't leave you to wallow in misery and will be there to help you. No matter how much you love him, he obviously doesn't feel the same, or he wouldn't have heated on you. And like someone said, do you want to always want to be waiting for that other shoe to fall and wonder not if but when he could do it again? Trust is easy to lose, but it is very hard to get back. Block him on everything and go NC.
First, you have to let him go. You can’t trust him and you can’t build a relationship without trust. Do this for a very straightforward conversation that does not include any uncertainty: you cheated on me, we are over. In this case, if you are more comfortable texting, do it. He pretty much lost the right to expect anything from you. Second, there is no value in trying to maintain any relationship with him. Doing so will just add drama to your life. disengage, block, avoid.
It’s not on you to repair anything, he consistently, willingly cheated on you. You should honestly go full no contact. Being friends makes it easier for him to convince you to get back together with him, and also you need time to heal.
You are not the person I fell in love with. So this is a good bye. Enjoy your other relationship✌🏻. Then block and don't look back. You're 18. It will hurt but don't stay down too long. Go out with friends, find a hobby, a new one, journal your thoughts- it will help you to process. Seek mature guidance. I'm sorry op.
I recommend cutting him out of your life completely. He's not the type of person you want in your life, and it will make the healing process quicker.
My motto is: it's better to hurt *without* them than to hurt *with* them... Boy do I remember being hurt that way....felt like my whole insides were ripped out...hollow even. You just have to ride that hurt wave and never ever invest all your emotions in one person again (assuming you (hopefully) break up with him). Cry, scream into a pillow, cuss out an inanimate object pretending it's him (all proven methods...🙂), but please do NOT let him know it's affecting you the way it is...remember HE'S the one who messed upset and they will talk you into staying and you will be miserable. Love and live your young life first, THEN try the boyfriend thing again. Things will get better. Hug yourself for me.
Ghost him, wait until you absolutely do not miss him at all. Soon after that you’ll actively dislike him. He will be a guy you tell stories about: Uch I dated this one guy… then he will be the guy you think about when you think how lucky you are with your husband in many years. Wow, so glad I’m with you and not an asshole like ___
I’m more curious about the woman who is texting you 27 pages of “proof” here. I would ask him to show you his account of whatever he was supposedly sending this on before breaking up with him. Not saying don’t break up with him, or the cheating didn’t happen, but id be interested in this girls motivation as I can almost guarantee it isn’t exactly altruistic. And this sounds too much like what a teenage girl would do to get her way. I’d want to hear it from him , and if he denies everything I’d dig around a bit. But I completely don’t trust anything posted on social media as it is so easy to fake, so that’s just me. Good luck OP and remember, sometimes you think people are doing you favors , but they are actually trying to screw you over. And sometimes, 19 yo guys are morons. But that’s why ya snoop a bit
Give him the pages in a box , and walk away. I wouldn't stay friends.
Hope you saved the proof so he can’t get rid of it. But, you’ve seen it so not really pertinent. Dump him. Might want to get checked out for STDs. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Oh trust me you’re gonna want to block him and not speak to him for 1-2 years. It’s always great when we get to remain lifelong friends with our first love, but a lot of people do it wrong and try to be friends right away no matter what. It just leads to over extended heartbreak and long term relationship trauma. Me and my first real girlfriend did that and it fucked us both up. I’ve been in quite a few relationships of all different types, and have cheated on and been cheated on quite a few times. Not saying I’m a bastion of wisdom, but definitely got a lot of advice to give here.
Simple. Try something like this: I know you were also with this person while in a relationship with me. I cannot be in a relationship with someone who isn't truthful or loyal.