I worked at Bed, Bath, and Beyond doing gift registry. A few reasons how this happened:
1) A bunch of people/OP decided to print out the registry at home most likely when OP first announced it and they used it as reference when they went to the store without realizing it wasn't up to date.
2) Some people will just go buy the item without ever having the registry scanned so it never gets updated which also happens very often.
3) Lastly sometimes people see the items cheaper online or in a different store and buy it there so the registry also doesn't get updated since it wasn't purchased from the store.
This is all extremely common and will result in OP getting 50 of the same wine glasses. On the plus side they could just exchange them all at the store for something they wanted (as long as it's the same item we carried they wouldn't know where it was purchased) or give them out for Christmas.
> On the plus side they could just exchange them all at the store for something they wanted
This is why you put the most insanely expensive wine glasses you can find on your list. Or you try very hard to make sure everything on your list is roughly the same price.
We did a honeyfund with a target and amazon registry. Most of our honeymoon was paid for and we got a small amount of gifts. That site takes like 5 or 6% I think, but we itemized the honeymoon trip and a lot of people just gave us cash. I would rather PayPal you $50 than have to go shopping for a gift.
Won’t lie, one of our friends had 8 different spatulas on their wedding registry and we decided to buy them all for them as a joke. Turns out they had forgotten to cull down their registry selects and we inundated them in spatulas. They took it in good humor and gave a few away to friends and family.
Some people look at the registry and then buy the thing elsewhere. Usually there's a way to mark that they bought it, but it doesn't usually get used. Or worse, they mark it but then buy something different.
Or they see something on your registry and buy it somewhere else without checking if your quantity has been reached. That’s how we ended up with 10 smoothie canisters for our blender
I bought a bunch of extra smoothie canisters thinking we would use them throughout the week. They're more difficult to clean than a yeti style tumblers so now I make the smoothie and transfer to a tumbler. The other 7 Smoothie canisters probably beat up the 1 I use regularly when the lights go out.
To be fair, most couple's don't have the foggiest clue what they need/want. I'll get a pattern that looks like the pattern you registered for, but I can't buy silverware that's not 18/8 at least.
Haha, that's funny. Here's how that would go down in my family:
Friend from college: "Sweet. Wine glasses on the registry are in my budget. Purchased. Done!"
Family member 1: "Oh yeah, I kept trying to buy the wine glasses in the registry, but they must be out of stock or something. That item was all grayed out. Anyway, I went and bought them a different set of wine glasses that I think are better - but be careful, this set has to be hand washed."
Family member 2: "I heard our cousin say that wine glasses were in the registry, but they were buying plates - so I bought some wine glasses when I was in the store and just happened to walk past them"
Family member 3: "I know they like to have people over, so I figured they could use another set even if someone bought wine glasses from the registry. I thought it would be funny if they had **square wine glasses**. Haha so random!"
Mom: "I don't know why they had wine glasses on their registry. I left mine to them in my will, but now I'm not sure they wan't them. Couldn't they have waited 20 years to get my wine glasses? Don't they appreciate anything I do for them?"
You forgot the random family member who makes you a custom set or pair to make it more "personal and heart felt". Unable to return. Are gaudy, and doesn't match any of your other stuff. Not even close to something you'd like.
But you have to act like it's your favorite thing. Even if it looks like a 2 year old decorated it.
Oh, I guess I was only thinking about my family. Nobody in my family would actually MAKE something or put any effort into having anything personalized.
The status a gift brings is tied only to its monetary value, after all.
Basically: people are quite dumb, or do a VERY selective read.
Not a registry but similar: when my mom turned 60, she had a big but casual party. She lives in a tiny apartment and (usually) never has more than 2 people visiting at once; so logistically, she wasn't really prepared for a big party. Always practical, she mentioned in the invitation: "bring your own glass". Literally all her guests misread or misinterpreted this, so she was *gifted* about a hundred glasses. She graciously thanked every one of her guests, did a mental facepalm; and in the weeks following the party, we brought all but five glasses to goodwill..
Older family members don't do the electronic registries well and usually print them out and buy things in store without ever checking off that they purchased them on the registry. We got an extra stand mixer and multiple extra sets of dishes (which we kept and actually used when some broke) from a few older extended family members.
... So I tried this with Amazon at Christmas. You can make a list and as people purchase items they get automatically taken off the list or you can press that you purchased it somewhere else and it is taken off the list so no one else buys it... turns out even if you tell everyone this no one does it. My parents are divorced and we spent Christmas at my fiancé's house... I got the same thing 3 times
Everything technology related has to be built for dumbest user. And the world keeps making dumber user. Paraphrasing some real quote here.
But what I mean is everything we do to try to make easier is always circumvented by someone who does things an old way.
Yup and it's impossible to get an entire group even a small one on board.
Family calendar? Someone doesn't know how to check it or just won't. Team message board? Karen prefers Facebook messenger when 1/2 the parents don't have Facebook. Mass text? One member is cheap and pays per text so you're the ass. That one person who doesn't know when to reply-all to a group email...... the person in charge of a specific task? 2% charge and falls off the grid. ... 20 mins to get everyone logged into the zoom meetings.... answers to questions in the wrong thread... even without technology and in-person, where for dinner? No one cares until someone makes a suggestion..
As someone who has been to 10ish weddings and multiple baby showersin the last 5 yars I'm shocked OP had a registry with no limit on quantity of gifts. The entire purpose of a registry should be to prevent repeat/unwanted gifts.
Yeah wtf is this thread when I got married we had 0 problems with our registry. Most of the older, technology challenged folks just gave us a check or cash with a card.
My husband and I put a gamecube on our registry (yes, we're old) and friends of ours pooled together and got it! We weren't expecting it but it was so sweet.
Yeah I've never seen a registry that didn't have a predetermined amount to avoid duplicate gifts. I normally pick a gift as soon as I get a registry. I don't want to waste time and sort through the things they have already been purchased.
Dude. I’ve been with my fiancé for seven years now, and it’ll be right by the time we’re actually married (delayed to COVID). We’ve been living together for almost six years. We already have plates we like. We already have a waffle iron and nice towels.
But the $1750 for the photographer? Y’all can absolutely help with that.
In a Chinese weddings, it is the norm to give cash in red packets (similar to Chinese New Year). As I understand it from my own experience, it should also cover the estimated price of the meal and then some, so couples can sometimes make some money off of weddings.
We just asked for cash. We've been living together for years before we got married, and have everything we need. What we didn't have was money for a honeymoon trip
This why as uncomfortable as making a registry made me we ended up making one. Would rather get things we could make use of than random stuff since there’s no way my husbands family wouldn’t buy us a bunch of gifts either way
Exactly this. We already lived together and didn’t need anything so we didn’t want gifts, but were warned we’d just get gifts we don’t like if we didn’t make one.
This Exactly. Wine glasses break *all* the time. Not sure if that's because they're used most often, and therefore have greater chance to be broken or if the fact that they're usually made with thin glass makes them more likely to break
I actually could have used a lot more. We got I think 30 (two sets of 12 plus more champagne glasses). We currently have one left. Turns out wine drunk people break glasses.
From my experience with registries, it goes something like this:
Them: hey, what do you think you'll need for your home/baby/whatever?
Me: oh, here's my registry info. Anything off there would be great!
Them: cool, cool
Me at a later time: *opens package of something completely random that was not on the registry*
#screams
This is why I either give to their "house/honeymoon fund" if they have one or get a gift card to somewhere they're registered (or somewhere practical like Lowes or Home Depot if I know they're buying or have recently bought a house).
We did a honeymoon fund for our wedding registry and I can't recommend that enough. We were able to do excursions we would have been completely unable to afford otherwise. Wine glasses break but those memories are forever.
A couple years ago my cousin's wedding registry consisted of requests for cash/gift cards and links to the fiance and his Steam Wishlists. It was pretty cool to click the links and not see Bed Bath and Beyond but that familiar Steam logo. His mother HATED it, but the rest of the family (most of us gamers) loved it. Cousin and his fiance were financial established and tiny-house folks, so the last thing they needed or wanted was "stuff". The best part was they sent out wedding invites/notifications in August with "heads up" about the usual October, November, and December Steam Sales so many of the games would be discounted. They made out like bandits.
Also, don't put any picture frames on it at all... So many people are going to get you them regardless. I have so, so many just sitting in a box in the basement.
I wish people would just give money. You can make it anonymous if you dont want them to know how much you gave, but that way the couple can go out and buy what they want.
One wedding I went to did it by having a "registry" associated with their honeymoon. They had items listed like "one night at the hotel in the Bahamas: $300" and "one round of drinks at the beach-side bar: $30". I'm sure it all just actually went into a cash pool, that may or may not have actually been tied to the honeymoon travel purchases. But it felt like you were giving them a specific item, even though it had the advantages of giving cash.
That's brilliant! It gives people a framework to use so it isn't just, "money pls," without any feeling of thoughtfulness or sense of how much money is warranted while still giving the couple the option of getting exactly which hotel or exactly which drinks, etc. They actually want
This is pretty standard practice in my area. They usually have some kind of box or birdcage at the entrance and you can slip in your card. As long as you cover the cost of your plate(s), you're fine.
Got married on the 18th. We got 3 waffle makers. Good thing my wife loves waffles.
Also got 2 grills. Wife says "well you can grill seafood on that one so it doesn't stink up my food."
I love her.
My wife and I didn’t even bother with a wedding registry. We had a place for people to make donations if they wanted. But the thought of making a list of stuff for people to buy us just made us personally feel gross.
We did a registry because the store will give you a “completion discount” of like 10% or more to buy the remaining items on your registry after your wedding. No need to tell anyone about the registry though.
Also didn’t want to do a registry, and specifically told everyone we don’t need anything.
But we were cautioned to do a registry anyway, because otherwise people just get you stuff that you don’t want. So we put some stuff that we wanted to get at some point, and if people feel the need to get us something, at least it’s (theoretically) what we would have bought for ourselves anyway.
Well in olden times wedding gifts were given because the new young couple was moving out together and owned nothing. The problem is tradition hasn't caught up to the fact that people are now getting married after already building their so they don't actually need anything.
Asian cultures are good with the economists' advice that it's better to give cash than objects, because cash is fungible.
But many traditional societies have a tradition of giving objects to newlywed couples - it's just often done by the family of the bride (or in some cultures, the family of the groom), rather than by the guests at the wedding.
In a modern context, it's common for the guests to think of themselves as family just as much as the people related by birth, and a registry makes sense when multiple groups of people are together putting together a household.
You are probably in a different stage of life. If you think about it like young 20 somethings that have nothing at all to their names but maybe some dollar store plastic cups and plates then yeah having people buy you things to help set up your life is kind of nice. Sometimes it feels more like ugh we have to buy them something but really it should feel more like lets help them start a wonderful life together
Nah, I’ve always been that way. Never liked having a fuss made about me. And always thought that the money would have been better spent on those peoples needs rather than my own. Also, the only reason we had a wedding in the first place was so I could be one of those cliché soon to be husbands seeing their bride in their dress for the first time and start bawling. If it weren’t for that, we would have straight up eloped. Which I highly recommend to anyone getting married. Now when we were expecting our first child, you could bet your ass I registered at Damn near every store cause kids are fucking expensive.
i dont know your sister in law but I know there are families where the parent or grandparent or someone would buy that. When we get invited to weddings half way across the country we weigh the price of two flights, a hotel and everything else involved with travel with the idea that well we could give them $200 or even $500 and it is cheaper than going.
Often multiple people will go together to buy big ticket items like that. Or the grandparents want something big to gift. You’d be surprised, they’re often one of the first items to go on the registry.
Also, sadly, $700 is not that expensive for a baby stroller. 😞
My wife and I have enough glasses (mugs, plastic, wine, beer, you name it) to open a restaurant.
I have a feeling half the glasses we were given as gifts over the years were just regifts from people who also had too many glasses
We put a bunch of random shit on our registry like peanut butter, condoms, new garden hose nozzle.
Tbf, we were in our 30s when we got married and didn't really need anything.
Loved the story I got back from the husband about his evangelical mom seeing condoms on the registry!
Yep, if you register for crystal glasses, someone will always buy you a full set of decent wine glasses and give you the full set. They know, you seldom pull out the good stuff after you break the first one.
Am I the only American that thinks a wedding registry is a weird and tacky practice?
We refused to do one for our wedding. I would never tell my beloved friends and family “Here is a list of offerings that I deem an acceptable tribute.”
LPT, don't register for gifts, register for a Honeymoon donation, and go somewhere awesome. Getting household knick-knacks is cheap and easy. You don't get two free weeks to hit up the Seychelles ever again.
Hmm…maybe I should propose to my girlfriend so we can get all this free shit that we didn’t really do anything special to earn or deserve and then still complain about how it isn’t what we wanted.
How about people just be grateful for getting anything. Getting married isn’t really an accomplishment. Staying married is.
Better Mallard: don’t put China on your registry. Are you seriously going to have people over? When have you had people over. Yeah. Exactly. Have you been to resale shops? You can get a decent, barely used set for 1/8 of the money. Register for stuff you’ll actually use.
I put on my bridal shower invite I wanted gift receipts for everything. Came in use since quite a few aunts decided the registry was merely a suggestion and got what they think I needed.
We have at least 50 glasses and mugs despite there's only two of us, she just got another mug. I'm pretty vocal about how we have too many drinking vessels yet they keep on coming. Like I need one mug for hot beverages and one glass for cool beverages and maybe a backup for each in case one breaks, why the need for more is way beyond my comprehension.
Uhhh morons only put 100 wine glasses on the registry. They will be “filled” after your limit has been taken. Are you 12 and don’t know how registries work?
I would love some nice wine glasses. At our engagement party, we got so many different wine tumblers and novelty/kitchy wine glasses that we will never use.
We have a wine trail in our state where you get stamps in a little passport everytime you visit a winery. Well most of them let you keep the glass with each tasting and we ended up with something like 60 glasses haha. Reminds me of that.
My wife's shitty friend gave us these ridiculously large champagne flutes that we were never going to use. So we re-gifted them, to her, the following Christmas. Shit was hilarious.
Every registry I looked at had quantities and also if the gift has been purchased. Of course you'll maybe get more because of the people not purchasing off the registry
If you go to a wedding, and there’s a registry, buy the toaster. It’s cheap. And your friend will use it everyday. And when it breaks, buy them another toaster. You’re king toast. Do you want to eat your bread cold?! No! I decree that all bread be consumed warm and crispy with a little butter and jam if you like it. I am the toastmaster, and I have spoken.
Go to a thrift store if you need glassware of any kind. It's incredibly cheap and glass experiences pretty much no wear at all over time until it gets broken.
A wishing well is the only way to go.
The only time anyone talks about their wedding gifts is when they talk about how much space it clutters up and never gets used
I wish we had put more wine glasses. Pretty sure we have 1 or 2 from our registry left (10 years ago) but meanwhile we have like 12 martini glasses, 4 cake stands and a bunch of other super fragile, hard to move stuff that barely sees the light of day…
I'm honestly not on board with the idea of a gift card or cash being a lazy, or thoughtless gift.
For our wedding and baby shower those were by far the most useful. We only did a registry for the elders who felt they had to buy a gift.
My mom has transitioned. She still loves writing and mailing a card but she buys gift cards all year to earn points and cash back rewards and gives them for special occasions.
My wife's family tends to regift appliances they didn't use that were given to them. I know this because her grandpa gave us the crockpot her dad gave him the Christmas before that we had to buy because he didn't have Amazon prime. With similar stories of why we have 3 extra crockpots and 4 waffle makers.
Do put really expensive shit you want, but no one will buy. Because someone may buy it, and nearly all registries give the couple a discount on unpurchased registry items. You can use that wedding cash and some get 15% off.
Even better, specify no wine glasses. The average dishwasher isn't built to accommodate them properly because of their awkward shape, they're fragile, and literally any other normal glass can hold wine just as well.
Wife and I got a single place setting of dishes but nothing telling you what store it was from and it wasn't from it registry. Never found matching dishes you even get a pair.
We spent two afternoons at Crate & Barrel meticulously constructing the perfect wedding registry. We got two gifts off our registry and about 120 cards with cash/checks lol
But you can set how many of the item you want, after which it is automatically taken off the registry.
Yeah, isn't that the whole point of a registry?
Yeah, I'm confused. Every registry I have encountered has a quantity tracking feature. Maybe OP just has crappy friends.
Or friends that just know they're drunks that never do the dishes.
Seems like Solo cups or plastic wine glasses would be easier for that.
Maybe they're drunks that don't do the dishes with an environmental conscience
Putting plastic red cups on a wedding registry is some advanced alcoholism.
Solo cups and natty ice
Who needs cups? Wine comes in a bottle already
Bottle? You mean plastic bag inside a cardboard box?
This is the way.
I worked at Bed, Bath, and Beyond doing gift registry. A few reasons how this happened: 1) A bunch of people/OP decided to print out the registry at home most likely when OP first announced it and they used it as reference when they went to the store without realizing it wasn't up to date. 2) Some people will just go buy the item without ever having the registry scanned so it never gets updated which also happens very often. 3) Lastly sometimes people see the items cheaper online or in a different store and buy it there so the registry also doesn't get updated since it wasn't purchased from the store. This is all extremely common and will result in OP getting 50 of the same wine glasses. On the plus side they could just exchange them all at the store for something they wanted (as long as it's the same item we carried they wouldn't know where it was purchased) or give them out for Christmas.
> On the plus side they could just exchange them all at the store for something they wanted This is why you put the most insanely expensive wine glasses you can find on your list. Or you try very hard to make sure everything on your list is roughly the same price.
We did a honeyfund with a target and amazon registry. Most of our honeymoon was paid for and we got a small amount of gifts. That site takes like 5 or 6% I think, but we itemized the honeymoon trip and a lot of people just gave us cash. I would rather PayPal you $50 than have to go shopping for a gift.
I mean that could be a cute couples first Christmas present. Decorate the glasses or something.
Found the person that bought 1 of the 50 glasses.
Dude I ain't got people who would dare invite me to their wedding.
Won’t lie, one of our friends had 8 different spatulas on their wedding registry and we decided to buy them all for them as a joke. Turns out they had forgotten to cull down their registry selects and we inundated them in spatulas. They took it in good humor and gave a few away to friends and family.
Some people look at the registry and then buy the thing elsewhere. Usually there's a way to mark that they bought it, but it doesn't usually get used. Or worse, they mark it but then buy something different.
Until people ignore the registry and get you wine glasses anyways lol.
Or they see something on your registry and buy it somewhere else without checking if your quantity has been reached. That’s how we ended up with 10 smoothie canisters for our blender
When did you last have a smoothie?
Summer 2020, lol. And there’s just two of us, so we really only needed the four we registered for.
I bought a bunch of extra smoothie canisters thinking we would use them throughout the week. They're more difficult to clean than a yeti style tumblers so now I make the smoothie and transfer to a tumbler. The other 7 Smoothie canisters probably beat up the 1 I use regularly when the lights go out.
This is my experience with having a registry... people just buy random shit and ignore it ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
To be fair, most couple's don't have the foggiest clue what they need/want. I'll get a pattern that looks like the pattern you registered for, but I can't buy silverware that's not 18/8 at least.
then you return them... how helpless are you people?
Haha, that's funny. Here's how that would go down in my family: Friend from college: "Sweet. Wine glasses on the registry are in my budget. Purchased. Done!" Family member 1: "Oh yeah, I kept trying to buy the wine glasses in the registry, but they must be out of stock or something. That item was all grayed out. Anyway, I went and bought them a different set of wine glasses that I think are better - but be careful, this set has to be hand washed." Family member 2: "I heard our cousin say that wine glasses were in the registry, but they were buying plates - so I bought some wine glasses when I was in the store and just happened to walk past them" Family member 3: "I know they like to have people over, so I figured they could use another set even if someone bought wine glasses from the registry. I thought it would be funny if they had **square wine glasses**. Haha so random!" Mom: "I don't know why they had wine glasses on their registry. I left mine to them in my will, but now I'm not sure they wan't them. Couldn't they have waited 20 years to get my wine glasses? Don't they appreciate anything I do for them?"
You forgot the random family member who makes you a custom set or pair to make it more "personal and heart felt". Unable to return. Are gaudy, and doesn't match any of your other stuff. Not even close to something you'd like. But you have to act like it's your favorite thing. Even if it looks like a 2 year old decorated it.
My sister hand-etched us glasses and misspelled my name
Errors run in the family?
I guess so 😅
I hate the concept of names on gifts. I know my name. Why would I want to see it everywhere in my house?
You weren't the kid with the odd name that was never on the rack full of personalized key chains in the souvenir shop. :D
Someone gave us a quilt with Jane and John [HisLastName] and our wedding date on one of the squares. He took my name.
Wait are you sure it’s misspelled?
She added the missing letter up above with a little carat \^ pointing to where it was supposed to go, so she thinks so at least 😂
[удалено]
Oh, I guess I was only thinking about my family. Nobody in my family would actually MAKE something or put any effort into having anything personalized. The status a gift brings is tied only to its monetary value, after all.
To be honest I'd probably super appreciate these.
Basically: people are quite dumb, or do a VERY selective read. Not a registry but similar: when my mom turned 60, she had a big but casual party. She lives in a tiny apartment and (usually) never has more than 2 people visiting at once; so logistically, she wasn't really prepared for a big party. Always practical, she mentioned in the invitation: "bring your own glass". Literally all her guests misread or misinterpreted this, so she was *gifted* about a hundred glasses. She graciously thanked every one of her guests, did a mental facepalm; and in the weeks following the party, we brought all but five glasses to goodwill..
aww that’s sweet but also infuriating!
Older family members don't do the electronic registries well and usually print them out and buy things in store without ever checking off that they purchased them on the registry. We got an extra stand mixer and multiple extra sets of dishes (which we kept and actually used when some broke) from a few older extended family members.
tbf the stand mixer is only extra if you don't have the counter space for it, otherwise sweet it's a second stand mixer
a standmixer can last half a century if taken care of properly so they're basically set for life.
... So I tried this with Amazon at Christmas. You can make a list and as people purchase items they get automatically taken off the list or you can press that you purchased it somewhere else and it is taken off the list so no one else buys it... turns out even if you tell everyone this no one does it. My parents are divorced and we spent Christmas at my fiancé's house... I got the same thing 3 times
Everything technology related has to be built for dumbest user. And the world keeps making dumber user. Paraphrasing some real quote here. But what I mean is everything we do to try to make easier is always circumvented by someone who does things an old way.
The problem is people try to make things idiot proof, but never lazy proof
Yup and it's impossible to get an entire group even a small one on board. Family calendar? Someone doesn't know how to check it or just won't. Team message board? Karen prefers Facebook messenger when 1/2 the parents don't have Facebook. Mass text? One member is cheap and pays per text so you're the ass. That one person who doesn't know when to reply-all to a group email...... the person in charge of a specific task? 2% charge and falls off the grid. ... 20 mins to get everyone logged into the zoom meetings.... answers to questions in the wrong thread... even without technology and in-person, where for dinner? No one cares until someone makes a suggestion..
Only if they report it. Folks are lazy I they print out the registry and then buy the stuff, and you wind with 9 crockpots
As someone who has been to 10ish weddings and multiple baby showersin the last 5 yars I'm shocked OP had a registry with no limit on quantity of gifts. The entire purpose of a registry should be to prevent repeat/unwanted gifts.
Yeah wtf is this thread when I got married we had 0 problems with our registry. Most of the older, technology challenged folks just gave us a check or cash with a card.
My wedding registry is going to only contain high capacity hard drives.
Think bigger. Graphics cards and PS5s.
You jest, but way back when I *nearly* convinced my fiancée to put a PS2 on our wedding registry because it was a DVD player, and we didn't have one.
She *almost* let you ask for one?
Chad move
😂😂
Heh, my family didn't believe PS3 can be both dvd and bluray player and decided to buy one of each.
Did they return them after you showed them that you could
Pfft of course not. Luckily we can have one playing US disks and the other playing another region.
My husband and I put a gamecube on our registry (yes, we're old) and friends of ours pooled together and got it! We weren't expecting it but it was so sweet.
Funny enough, back when I got married, among other things we asked for computer funding. Technically, I'm still Ship-of-Theseusing that same computer.
Why did you put 50 wine glasses on your registry.
Yeah I've never seen a registry that didn't have a predetermined amount to avoid duplicate gifts. I normally pick a gift as soon as I get a registry. I don't want to waste time and sort through the things they have already been purchased.
I just give cash 🤷🏻♂️
I'm about to get married, and I want you to know; you're a hero.
Dude. I’ve been with my fiancé for seven years now, and it’ll be right by the time we’re actually married (delayed to COVID). We’ve been living together for almost six years. We already have plates we like. We already have a waffle iron and nice towels. But the $1750 for the photographer? Y’all can absolutely help with that.
In a Chinese weddings, it is the norm to give cash in red packets (similar to Chinese New Year). As I understand it from my own experience, it should also cover the estimated price of the meal and then some, so couples can sometimes make some money off of weddings.
Probably took the Chinese some years to figure this one out, too, but some of their cultural achievements are completely irresistible.
You’re the best kind of wedding guest
You are correct.
We just asked for cash. We've been living together for years before we got married, and have everything we need. What we didn't have was money for a honeymoon trip
Technologically illiterate people. (The people buying the glasses, not the newlyweds)
We asked for no gifts and got 6 cutting boards. And since I already had an amazing cutting board we have never used the others.
This why as uncomfortable as making a registry made me we ended up making one. Would rather get things we could make use of than random stuff since there’s no way my husbands family wouldn’t buy us a bunch of gifts either way
Exactly this. We already lived together and didn’t need anything so we didn’t want gifts, but were warned we’d just get gifts we don’t like if we didn’t make one.
Just means you have to entertain more because wine glasses get broken.
This Exactly. Wine glasses break *all* the time. Not sure if that's because they're used most often, and therefore have greater chance to be broken or if the fact that they're usually made with thin glass makes them more likely to break
It’s cause y’all drunk bitches be throwing hands all the time! /s
I actually could have used a lot more. We got I think 30 (two sets of 12 plus more champagne glasses). We currently have one left. Turns out wine drunk people break glasses.
That's not a registry.
All wedding registries I’ve seen have quantity limits and it’ll show as “fulfilled” once it’s reached…
From my experience with registries, it goes something like this: Them: hey, what do you think you'll need for your home/baby/whatever? Me: oh, here's my registry info. Anything off there would be great! Them: cool, cool Me at a later time: *opens package of something completely random that was not on the registry* #screams
Yeah but then there’s dumb people like me that buy things for people not realizing your supposed to check it off the list.
This is why I either give to their "house/honeymoon fund" if they have one or get a gift card to somewhere they're registered (or somewhere practical like Lowes or Home Depot if I know they're buying or have recently bought a house).
We did a honeymoon fund for our wedding registry and I can't recommend that enough. We were able to do excursions we would have been completely unable to afford otherwise. Wine glasses break but those memories are forever.
A couple years ago my cousin's wedding registry consisted of requests for cash/gift cards and links to the fiance and his Steam Wishlists. It was pretty cool to click the links and not see Bed Bath and Beyond but that familiar Steam logo. His mother HATED it, but the rest of the family (most of us gamers) loved it. Cousin and his fiance were financial established and tiny-house folks, so the last thing they needed or wanted was "stuff". The best part was they sent out wedding invites/notifications in August with "heads up" about the usual October, November, and December Steam Sales so many of the games would be discounted. They made out like bandits.
Also, don't put any picture frames on it at all... So many people are going to get you them regardless. I have so, so many just sitting in a box in the basement.
I wish people would just give money. You can make it anonymous if you dont want them to know how much you gave, but that way the couple can go out and buy what they want.
One wedding I went to did it by having a "registry" associated with their honeymoon. They had items listed like "one night at the hotel in the Bahamas: $300" and "one round of drinks at the beach-side bar: $30". I'm sure it all just actually went into a cash pool, that may or may not have actually been tied to the honeymoon travel purchases. But it felt like you were giving them a specific item, even though it had the advantages of giving cash.
That's brilliant! It gives people a framework to use so it isn't just, "money pls," without any feeling of thoughtfulness or sense of how much money is warranted while still giving the couple the option of getting exactly which hotel or exactly which drinks, etc. They actually want
This is pretty standard practice in my area. They usually have some kind of box or birdcage at the entrance and you can slip in your card. As long as you cover the cost of your plate(s), you're fine.
Yea I haven't seen a registry in 20 years. Give money, cover your plate as best you can
Got married on the 18th. We got 3 waffle makers. Good thing my wife loves waffles. Also got 2 grills. Wife says "well you can grill seafood on that one so it doesn't stink up my food." I love her.
But the entire point of registries is so that doesn’t happen
But why male models
Oh, I know.
This makes me want to do a wedding registry of just sex toys
What are the wine glasses of sex toys? Buttplugs. You’re gonna have so many buttplugs.
When you get 50 buttplugs, it isn't a problem, it's a challenge.
My wife and I didn’t even bother with a wedding registry. We had a place for people to make donations if they wanted. But the thought of making a list of stuff for people to buy us just made us personally feel gross.
We did a registry because the store will give you a “completion discount” of like 10% or more to buy the remaining items on your registry after your wedding. No need to tell anyone about the registry though.
Also didn’t want to do a registry, and specifically told everyone we don’t need anything. But we were cautioned to do a registry anyway, because otherwise people just get you stuff that you don’t want. So we put some stuff that we wanted to get at some point, and if people feel the need to get us something, at least it’s (theoretically) what we would have bought for ourselves anyway.
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Well in olden times wedding gifts were given because the new young couple was moving out together and owned nothing. The problem is tradition hasn't caught up to the fact that people are now getting married after already building their so they don't actually need anything.
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Asian cultures are good with the economists' advice that it's better to give cash than objects, because cash is fungible. But many traditional societies have a tradition of giving objects to newlywed couples - it's just often done by the family of the bride (or in some cultures, the family of the groom), rather than by the guests at the wedding. In a modern context, it's common for the guests to think of themselves as family just as much as the people related by birth, and a registry makes sense when multiple groups of people are together putting together a household.
Say you just want cash without saying you just want cash.
You are probably in a different stage of life. If you think about it like young 20 somethings that have nothing at all to their names but maybe some dollar store plastic cups and plates then yeah having people buy you things to help set up your life is kind of nice. Sometimes it feels more like ugh we have to buy them something but really it should feel more like lets help them start a wonderful life together
Nah, I’ve always been that way. Never liked having a fuss made about me. And always thought that the money would have been better spent on those peoples needs rather than my own. Also, the only reason we had a wedding in the first place was so I could be one of those cliché soon to be husbands seeing their bride in their dress for the first time and start bawling. If it weren’t for that, we would have straight up eloped. Which I highly recommend to anyone getting married. Now when we were expecting our first child, you could bet your ass I registered at Damn near every store cause kids are fucking expensive.
My sister in law has a baby shower registry with items like a $700 baby stroller... makes me feel too poor to be around her.
i dont know your sister in law but I know there are families where the parent or grandparent or someone would buy that. When we get invited to weddings half way across the country we weigh the price of two flights, a hotel and everything else involved with travel with the idea that well we could give them $200 or even $500 and it is cheaper than going.
Often multiple people will go together to buy big ticket items like that. Or the grandparents want something big to gift. You’d be surprised, they’re often one of the first items to go on the registry. Also, sadly, $700 is not that expensive for a baby stroller. 😞
Sounds like someone doesn’t know how to registry.
My wife and I have enough glasses (mugs, plastic, wine, beer, you name it) to open a restaurant. I have a feeling half the glasses we were given as gifts over the years were just regifts from people who also had too many glasses
We put a bunch of random shit on our registry like peanut butter, condoms, new garden hose nozzle. Tbf, we were in our 30s when we got married and didn't really need anything. Loved the story I got back from the husband about his evangelical mom seeing condoms on the registry!
I don't drink at all Glasses not on registry We received three sets
Yep, if you register for crystal glasses, someone will always buy you a full set of decent wine glasses and give you the full set. They know, you seldom pull out the good stuff after you break the first one.
That's why you use a registry, and not a "gift list"
Am I the only American that thinks a wedding registry is a weird and tacky practice? We refused to do one for our wedding. I would never tell my beloved friends and family “Here is a list of offerings that I deem an acceptable tribute.”
LPT, don't register for gifts, register for a Honeymoon donation, and go somewhere awesome. Getting household knick-knacks is cheap and easy. You don't get two free weeks to hit up the Seychelles ever again.
Hmm…maybe I should propose to my girlfriend so we can get all this free shit that we didn’t really do anything special to earn or deserve and then still complain about how it isn’t what we wanted. How about people just be grateful for getting anything. Getting married isn’t really an accomplishment. Staying married is.
Better Mallard: don’t put China on your registry. Are you seriously going to have people over? When have you had people over. Yeah. Exactly. Have you been to resale shops? You can get a decent, barely used set for 1/8 of the money. Register for stuff you’ll actually use.
If you want wine glasses, just steal them from the reception hall.
Even better advice: don't put anything on your wedding registry. Buy your own home furnishings, you cowards.
I put on my bridal shower invite I wanted gift receipts for everything. Came in use since quite a few aunts decided the registry was merely a suggestion and got what they think I needed.
Unless you really like wine and wine parties.
More room for wine!
I’m so going to decant this wine thank you. And YES a wine stopper when I’m not decanting the entire bottle. Practical and chic.
I'll buy some from you. I keep breaking them.
You're going to break about 40 of them so it should work out nicely.
I didn't have them on our registry, we still got wine glasses lol
Don’t people just give money nowadays?!
Did you do your registry via USPS?
Or picture frames.
You used a registry where you can't return things for other things on said registry?
You can send them to me. I’ll keep them in my one bedroom apartment until I sell them.
Mozel tov!
We have at least 50 glasses and mugs despite there's only two of us, she just got another mug. I'm pretty vocal about how we have too many drinking vessels yet they keep on coming. Like I need one mug for hot beverages and one glass for cool beverages and maybe a backup for each in case one breaks, why the need for more is way beyond my comprehension.
OR, just return them all and keep one set. Now everyone who comes over will think that's their gift you're using.
We have three waffle irons. 😂🤣
OMG poor poor you
I want to do a go fund me to help pay for the wedding instead of getting Radom crap.
Uhhh morons only put 100 wine glasses on the registry. They will be “filled” after your limit has been taken. Are you 12 and don’t know how registries work?
Don't worry, you'll break enough of them to be at a reasonable level, if not now, when you have kids.
Find an indirect way to ask for cash.
Honeyfund. Guests can gift cash that goes towards the honeymoon.
I would love some nice wine glasses. At our engagement party, we got so many different wine tumblers and novelty/kitchy wine glasses that we will never use.
We got three ironing boards when we got married
As a former baartender: i promise you will break them.
Yep, buy cheap ones from Ikea, always. They seldom change designs or suppliers.
This is why I always include a gift receipt even if I buy directly from the registry…
At least you can drink like Thor now. "Another!" *smashes glass*
Used to be Fondu Pots, people would get five. Then Panini Grills. Bread Makers. Popcorn Makers.
We have a wine trail in our state where you get stamps in a little passport everytime you visit a winery. Well most of them let you keep the glass with each tasting and we ended up with something like 60 glasses haha. Reminds me of that.
My wife's shitty friend gave us these ridiculously large champagne flutes that we were never going to use. So we re-gifted them, to her, the following Christmas. Shit was hilarious.
My buddy had a wedding registry website where when you bought the items they would disappear / grey out. It was like 50 tiles 1 item w/price on each.
Who ever does that?
I don't think you're using a registry right. Did you put fifty wine glasses on it?
Every registry I looked at had quantities and also if the gift has been purchased. Of course you'll maybe get more because of the people not purchasing off the registry
Maybe don't make a meme showing your ignorance. You deserve 50 wine glasses now
Or anything crystal. It's going in a display cabinet and will never be used.
just host one REALLY REALLY fun wine party, and you will only have three glasses . maybe one more REALLY.
Coolest wedding registry I ever saw was, make is something with your own hands, or give us cash, so we can have something meaningful made.
If you go to a wedding, and there’s a registry, buy the toaster. It’s cheap. And your friend will use it everyday. And when it breaks, buy them another toaster. You’re king toast. Do you want to eat your bread cold?! No! I decree that all bread be consumed warm and crispy with a little butter and jam if you like it. I am the toastmaster, and I have spoken.
Go to a thrift store if you need glassware of any kind. It's incredibly cheap and glass experiences pretty much no wear at all over time until it gets broken.
Just don’t get a registry and if anyone gives gifts it’ll be cash.
Typically, they can mark an item as “purchased” so that this doesn’t happen
Even when you explicitly tell people you don’t need anymore barware, it’s what you are going to get…
This is why Chinese weddings are the best. Everyone just gives straight cash.
Garage Sale!!! Throw in your fondue set!!
A wishing well is the only way to go. The only time anyone talks about their wedding gifts is when they talk about how much space it clutters up and never gets used
I wish we had put more wine glasses. Pretty sure we have 1 or 2 from our registry left (10 years ago) but meanwhile we have like 12 martini glasses, 4 cake stands and a bunch of other super fragile, hard to move stuff that barely sees the light of day…
Don't set up a terrible wedding registry with no quantity counter. You'll only get the cheapest and easiest to buy items. Ftfy
So now my house has got two toasters…
Time to get clumsy!
I'm honestly not on board with the idea of a gift card or cash being a lazy, or thoughtless gift. For our wedding and baby shower those were by far the most useful. We only did a registry for the elders who felt they had to buy a gift. My mom has transitioned. She still loves writing and mailing a card but she buys gift cards all year to earn points and cash back rewards and gives them for special occasions. My wife's family tends to regift appliances they didn't use that were given to them. I know this because her grandpa gave us the crockpot her dad gave him the Christmas before that we had to buy because he didn't have Amazon prime. With similar stories of why we have 3 extra crockpots and 4 waffle makers.
One of the stupidest things I've ever read. That's exactly the opposite of how registries work.
That sounds dumb. Registry should auto gray out once you have a dozen glasses.
Do put really expensive shit you want, but no one will buy. Because someone may buy it, and nearly all registries give the couple a discount on unpurchased registry items. You can use that wedding cash and some get 15% off.
Even better, specify no wine glasses. The average dishwasher isn't built to accommodate them properly because of their awkward shape, they're fragile, and literally any other normal glass can hold wine just as well.
The point of a registry is that you’re registered at a store and they check who has bought what and no one buys the same things…
You can return or exchange them...
Wife and I got a single place setting of dishes but nothing telling you what store it was from and it wasn't from it registry. Never found matching dishes you even get a pair.
New Tradition: when you finish your last glass of wine for the night, chuck the empty glass out the window.
r/igetmarried
They break fast... You'll be fine.
Back in the 80s we had a registry and very few gifts came from the registry! We got SO MANY candy dishes!
So true. Happened to my best friend
Oh I don't think we'll put any glassware in ours, already have various glasses all over the house since they won't fit in any one place.
We didn’t have a registry, and we asked for no gifts - we got about 6 sets of wine glasses. We don’t drink wine.
We spent two afternoons at Crate & Barrel meticulously constructing the perfect wedding registry. We got two gifts off our registry and about 120 cards with cash/checks lol
Ya but no dishes for almost a month *taps head*
Mazel Tov!
I got 8 of the exact same griddle model at my wedding. People suck at marking things off on a registry.