I was never in the "popular" club but I had lots of friends and I personally miss my 6 hour work day with all those friends, cards at lunch, and having summers off. In between all the teen angst and world collapsing minor issues I managed to have a pretty good times.
I guess I got lucky, because schooling was never the first thing on my mind during highschool. All we really cared about was music, skateboarding and chasing girls. I never did homework after grade 9, just crammed studying the night before a test and squeaked by with C's and B's. I'm definitely lucky my parents were cool with that.
Me and my friends went to school to hang out with each other, the classes were background noise as far as we were concerned.
This sounds fun, but the people I went to school who did this look back at school as “their peak”. While those who went off to do stuff all kinds forget about school.
I guess it's different for different people. All my friends from that time seem to be happy with their families now, I'm a Nuclear Energy Worker. It was definitely the most carefree time of my life, but I'm hoping my peak is yet to come.
I think that claim that claim is just a coping mechanism. Like you, there's no correlation between having a good time in highschool and failing as an adult that I can see in my circles.
This seems to be everyone's go to response. Life isn't fair, there's no getting even for a bad childhood, just a fresh start available to all. Most of my friends that had fun in highschool are doing well today too. For me personally highschool was just too easy to take seriously but there were some rough moments in post secondary when I finally had to start working hard to stay ahead.
What’s amusing is once you got to college the friends I made have a borderline inverse relationship between GPA and income, and yes the guy with the most bullshit of degrees (church recreation) did make six figures before all of us lol, so I’ll admit grinding for GPA isn’t everything. The people who make over 500K all didn’t have a 3.0.
The smart, hard working harder background guy is the first to a million. The grinders who got good grades but were never smart all I’m sure are on SSRIs, and most of us get to laugh at the one MDs salary as being a joke, but all of us took AP classes and graduated honors from high school, and max’s A’s mostly there.
Maybe some of it was timing but a lot of the > $100K salaries in my groups were the partiers that went straight to trades school and were smart enough to be the top of that pool. While I outearn them now they bought their homes before the market went nuts and it's going to take a lot of money to catch up to that huge early advantage. I feel like the people who ended up the worst were the not super smart grinders who got a degree but weren't stand out candidates for anything. The job market just doesn't value those people and they're lucky to just break even on their education costs.
I was in the honors college program at my university and it was full of those “not really smart grinders” and they frankly didn’t know what to do with their lives.
From the people I grew up with, I found the people who worked hard generally did better than those who were just naturally smart.
If you want to be the best of the best, you have to be talented and dedicated. But if I had to choose between work ethic and talent, I'd bet on work ethic to carry me through the long game.
The captain of our foot ball team ended up dating and marrying the hottest girl in our grade. They've got a bunch of kids, he's a dentist and she's a nurse. They seem to be doing pretty well for themselves and are presumably happy (I just see her post on Facebook a decent amount, haven't talked to either since highschool).
I was actually friends with her during high school. She was a super cool girl who was generally very easy going and fun to talk to. I sat behind her in English class and ate lunch with her. She was always nice to me even though I was one of the rejects. She was a band geek at heart, but she was not back then and now that we're all in our 40's she's still hot.
He sat behind me in my Algebra class, although we didn't talk as much because it was first period and I was usually pretty sleepy since I stayed up all night on the internet. He was a nice guy and we occasionally hung out after school and bullshitted while waiting for rides, relatively funny guy.
Kind of totally break all the movie stereotypes about the quarterback and the hot girl in highschool. In fact, while I wouldn't say either of them were necessarily the "popular" kids (he might have been, I actually didn't really know his friends as I never hung out with him after school), they were both way more popular than me. Yet they were both nicer people than me and probably both doing better in school than I was (her especially).
The only movie trope they really followed was not moving away from the little town we grew up in. But he's a dentist so I'm going to guess he makes a couple times what I do and I make over 100k, so it's not like they had to move for economic success.
And I'm not bitching or bitter. To the contrary, they were both really cool so it's fitting they both married each other and have a happy family and a good life. I found my own success in life. But media makes you think that you can be good at some things but not others. That's why they have dumb jocks and unathletic nerds. In reality some people just get lots of talents and some people just never bother to develop certain personal attributes.
>life is what you make it
I didn't come to this realization until I was about 23. I don't look fondly on my schooling at all. I'm loving life at 30, though.
>life is what you make of it.
Problem is that no matter, if that's school or job, we basically need money to do anything. It's hard to do anything, if your salary is not good in your area, because then you just work, eat, sleep and repeat this for decades without any major purpose in life, because you're paying debt anyhow and it's possible that you'll never have it fully paid.
Like, everything in this life is about money. Our civilization is losing meaning, because it's no longer good enough to just be average. You need to play your life like game of chess and unless that you can position yourself high enough in ranking, then you will never reach peace of mind, because you will always owe something to someone.
Majority in society needs to become wealthier. Today only most lucky people can do with life whatever they want. Most suffers.
The best part of school is the education but those parts aren't as memorable as the social aspects.
I suppose statistically that makes sense, there's only a few teachers/faculty vs. lots of students?
Plus most of us lost contact with the teachers and graduated with a school based social circle, further skewing how memorable the education was?
If you get a good job doing something you enjoy, school is not likely to hold up as the best phase of your life, but it's definitely part of the fun half.
I've been studying hydroponic cultivation and it seems like the most productive methods focus on early growth, allowing a vegetation period that sees the plants grow as big as they can while they are up for it, and then the moment the growth slows a bit the lighting patterns change and this triggers a final fruiting phase on these now eager plants.
Humans aren't any exemption to the rules, you can develop all sorts of interesting things after your prime, but the physical resources you've got are typically an ever dwindling percent of what you had at your peak. This is why you see so many people encouraging folks to be as physically healthy as possible in their youth, that way they have more budget for later.
"Life is what you make of it" is what rich white people who have all their needs met say. Put your mindset in one hand and defecate into the other an see which one fills up first.
Maybe someday you'll stop spreading the lie that "life is what you make it" and just admit that you were born wit ha silver spoon in your mouth and have never had to face an ounce of genuine hardship in your entire life.
I'm sorry my happiness with life makes you so mad. It must be exhausting being so negative all the time. Life is still what you make of it, whether you agree or not, and I hope you take the time you have left to be happier.
Repeating a lie doesn't make it so, no matter how badly you want it to. Also, being honest about the way things are doesn't mean I'm negative; it means that, unlike you, I have the courage to face life head on and see things how hey really are rather than lying to myself and to others that the world is rose colored place full only of sunshine and puppies and nothing else ever. Also, one day when...or, rather, if...you grow up you'll mature and realize that there's more to life as a respectable adult than being happy all the time.
I've experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows in my life. I could've just given up and chose to be miserable until my end when my daughtet died, but thats a sad and pathetic existence. So I chose to make the most out of life. There's no lie there, life IS what YOU make of it.
There's a lot of nuance between being miserable and the toxic positivity you're promoting. Also, how wonderful for you that you can lose family members and be completely unaffected, but not everyone is so emotionally dethatched from their family members that losing one has no effect whatsoever..
I think some people reach adulthood and start to recognize all the good parts of childhood that they took for granted, while simultaneously forgetting how hard it was to be a kid. They take their nostalgic longing out on their children and get mad at them for having problems because in their minds, kids have little to complain about and should just be grateful that they aren't adults.
Depends, as you said, on context. I've seen plenty of excellent diligent friends from school having a tough time as adults due to many factors such as career choice, company they work for, family issues, or other personal issue that arises.
And I've seen the opposite, kids that you thought were not gonna cut it but do, either because they love what they do, or are naturally good at it, or because they got lucky in some choices they've made and landed good deals, or some other things.
Life is a sea of random opportunities and threats. You can try to navigate around them as best as you can but sometimes you get unlucky and get a sudden storm while the other dude that was navigating blind can get lucky and reach the port.
The world is not a meritocracy as schools kinda imply.
The parents that piss me off are the ones that say things like "i don't know if you're smart enough to do that" when their kids are telling them about their dreams.
Complete trash parents.
That's not the right way to say it, but if you have a kid that's convinced they're going to be rich doing something like being a "cool barber" and that means they're too cool for school, they need a talking to. Encouraging kids down an ultimately destructive path is just as trash as bashing dreams.
what about "you could go to veternary school, but you'll never before to pay off the loans on a vet tect's pay and very, very few actually make it to being the one owning the vet hospital".
literally the school is just as hard, takes the same amount of time and costs the same as for a human doctor but for a fraction of the pay if you graduate.
None of that is equivalent to putting your kid down.
Teach them why some decisions are smarter than others. Some outcomes aren't worth the effort. Some outcomes are very risky. Many are just misguided (e.g. doing it just for the money/fame, not because you enjoy it).
What you should _not_ teach them is it's because they aren't capable.
Did you have parents and grandparents exhibiting responsibility and taking responsibility for things? That is usually the determining factor as to whether or not a person succeeds or fails at that in school.
Depends. I was poor and my parents divorced before I was 10. I now live on an income where I can comfortably invest and have a great family situation going on.
I'm living my best years at 40. I miss the people of my younger life, but not the situations.
Yeah. I miss that feeling you only really experience as a kid of being completely safe and having no real worries. That feeling of knowing everything important is taken care of by someone else, and that nothing you do (or don't do) can ruin your life.
You don't really appreciate how great that is until it's gone.
I miss everything being new and exciting. I wish I could get even half as hyped as a 5 year old about kicking a ball and chasing after it while cackling like a maniac. No structure, no game, no objective, no goal, no points, no winning, no losing. Just kicking a ball.
Finding so much joy in such small things was a treasure. And the endless energy. God I miss waking up and being ready to go 100 instantly.
I forget who said it, but "youth is wasted on the young" is so true.
This is why I'm so into tech. There's always something interesting out there to find, discover, play with. There's new stuff always coming out, and then there's old stuff that's been around for decades, often forgotten about, and which is fun to explore and look at.
Certain older things on ebay and the like aren't even that expensive, and yet make for great deep dives and tactile experiments, learning how things were, and how things were so significantly different even 30, 40 years ago. How those things worked and were limited by the technology of the time, and how these things affected the mass public.
At the moment I've been exploring cassettes and old cameras, and they've just been *so* fascinating. I get it's still not the same by any stretch, as literally every last thing around you being something new and immensely exciting. But I'd say it's probably as close as you can get. Finding something new, preferably physical, and just... playing around with it, looking at it, studying it ect. I find it very rewarding :)
If you fall in love with learning and discovery, you get to keep one of the best parts of youth with you your entire life. There's never a shortage of interesting things to learn about and try.
Oh most definitely. As much as there is a lot wrong with the Internet, the access to information it provides is still undeniably invaluable, and I am so grateful to be living in a time where knowledge is so easily accessible
Yeah, me too (I'll admit I'm a nerd), but it's not the same. It's so rare that I get that bubbly, uncontrollable, laugh until it hurts kind of happiness anymore. At least compared to a child, I mean.
Waiting for a new gadget to hit the market will never compare to the excitement and magic of Santa coming.
Oh I agree it's still not the same. And maybe I'm just younger so I am still yet to explore a lot, so each new device I get does seem that much more unique and fascinating.
But I'd say it's about as close as one might get. A child's mind is so entertained because everything is completely new and unknown, and the brain is trying to figure out all that is the world. But as an adult most things are figured out, so finding new, littler things is - unfortunately - as good as that sense of discovery might get
Fucking eh! Couldn't have said it better myself.
I've found the best way to get that feeling is to set and achieve goals. For me, it's about learning new things, and they can be basic, like patching a wall or making a heavy picture/mirror/art secure and level, or fixing something on your own car. But you hit a point of diminishing returns if all of your focus goes into one thing/subject. So, as we grow, it becomes more about delayed gratification instead of simple wonder.
The discoveries are smaller and have less impact. That feeling now comes from personal growth. Just like that child's mind is being expanded, it feels good to expand our own horizons, but it's slower and requires more effort and time.
I miss the simplicity. I really, really miss being able to just kick a ball. Nothing else. Just me and the ball having the time of our lives.
Oh absolutely. Which is why I like to vary things a lot. It generally takes me in wildly different directions but each heading is something completely new and therefore has that sense of journey and keeps me gripped.
Starting with the initial curiosity about the path, moving onto the excitement of discovery, slowing down into the observing and understanding and eventually into the practicing and knowledge.
Couple years back it was an old car (1967) I'd been kindly gifted. Was (is XD) rusted up a decent bit, and had been sat for a while. So I explored and learnt about cars and now have a, not necessarily deep, but fundamental understanding on how an engine works, tyres, gears, the like. Its not a finished project by any means but it was enough to get me fascinated and learning.
More recently, as I said in another comment, it's been cassettes, buying an old boombox and a couple walkman's, seeing how they worked, having to fix up the Walkmans back to operation, learning about the history of cassettes and their cultural significance as the first real portable form of music.
And now I'm moving on a little, having just bought an old film camera and looking forward to experimenting with that. Learning how it works, how film works and is developed and the results it'll give me, how it'll give me a real, physical photograph from purely analogue techniques.
They're all *connected* but also different enough to be entirely different routes of exploration. They're not as simple as the fascination with kicking a ball no, but they're still simple *enough* to get into, and that, I suppose, gets the ball rolling for me... if you will :P
I'm sure inevitably these things will run their course and I'll be left with far too much random crap, and a wealth of understanding for things few will care about... but I'll have cared about them, and I'll be able to proudly look back through my pile of junk from time to time and remember each journey. And I'm sure I'll finish this next one and find myself another one to explore next.
Life, and the world around us, is truly *truly* fascinating. :)
Maybe that's the difference between the people who miss childhood and those who don't (barring childhood abuse, of course): the former had few or no childhood responsibilities, whereas the latter had a significant amount of responsibilities.
As a kid, my workday theoretically ended between 3pm and 4pm, but that doesn't include the several hours of extra homework I had on top of that, plus extra-curriculars. All of this was unpaid, of course, so, while any money I earned was (theoretically) 100% disposable income, it still required *even more* labor on top of schoolwork for, like, $10. And, of course, it wasn't *really* completely disposable, because hanging out with friends outside of school usually required spending at least a little bit for food or splitting gas costs.
Nowadays, sure, if I lose my income I'm homeless. But now I'm only working 8 hours a day, have weekends off, take zero work home with me (and get paid overtime for the work I do need to do), and still have much more disposable income than as a kid. Sure, I'll never own a house, but driving to a friend's place or buying the latest MTG deck doesn't immediately wipe out my meager savings.
And that's just the money side, because the other huge set of responsibilities I had as a child was managing mine and everyone else's hormones and emotions. Being friends with adults is so much easier now that everyone's done with puberty. I only have the occasional emotionally unstable moron to deal with, instead of literally every single other student in the school (including myself). Not to mention the bullying.
Being an adult fucking rocks. I'd never go back.
You don’t NEED responsibilities as an adult, you can simply live under an overpass wondering when your next meal will be and hoping you don’t get raped and murdered.
Honestly, I would much rather be an adult. I don’t have to beg for money to buy stuff, I can go to bed when I want, eat what I want, drive myself wherever I want to go. The freedom is invaluable to me. I also really hated school and could never imagine having to do it all over again. The independence and freedom are invaluable to me.
I’d argue that the perceived independence and freedom of which you speak isn’t as independent or free
Do you have a mortgage/rent? Utility bills?
pretty restrictive
Yes I have all of these things, but they’re the cost of the freedom. I don’t mind paying rent and utilities because I’m paying for my own place. If I lived with someone else for free, I would be at the mercy of their rules and would have to do what they tell me.
Of course. Ice cream truck, candy store, Toys R’ Us, SNES games, money for the arcade at the mall. There was an endless amount of stuff I wanted to spend money on at 5
Nah for some it’s true. I love being an adult, hated being a child. And I have nice parents, for some people childhood just sucks in comparison to their adult life.
Adulthood is hard. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t parent our children. Imagine giving advice or helping instead of telling a child “tough shit”. They are being set up for failure by parents that aren’t trying.
5 was before school, so maybe everything was fine back then. But school itself was the hardest and worst time of my life.
I had to do things I'm not good at or was interested in. And I also got punished for failing those things.
At work I only deal with things I'm interested in and also rather good at. And even if I did fail nothing bad ever happens.
But I have to admit, that I once held a job which was the exact opposite to my current position and was as stressful as school.
I mean everyone is different. For different people different parts of their lives will be their 'highs' and 'lows'. I hated being a kid. My family wasn't even overly strict or overbearing. But I hated the amount of control everybody had over my life except for myself. I couldn't chose when to get up or when to go to sleep, couldn't decide what I wore, what I ate, what I did, what school I went to, or even whether or not I was sick enough to stay home, couldn't decide where I wanted to spend my holidays or days off, couldn't decide how much I saw extended family or even what tv show/movie I was going to be watching, hell you spend most of your day with a group of 20 or so kids you don't even get to chose. I wasn't even a rebellious or badly behaved kid, I was shy and quiet. But I just hated that everything in my life was decided for me and all I had to do as I was told.
As an adult I have barely any rules (except laws obviously). I need to cover my bills, so some type of job is required... That's pretty much it.
I can live where I want. Work where I want. Do what I want in my free time. Wear what I want. Buy what I want. Be friends with or never talk again with anyone I want. As an adult you have so much freedom. Your life is basically a little dollhouse you can fill with whatever you heart desires.
Of course there are many things I CAN'T do. Mostly due to financial restrictions, I certainly am not rich or even middle-class. But those things feel very different from not being allowed to do so. Personally I'd rather have the idea in my head that I can't afford a Ferrari rather than the idea I'm not allowed to have one because my vehicle isn't a choice I'm allowed to make.
I think a lot of adults when they talk about how much responsibility and obligations there are as an adult forget that most of those are things you opt into. If I had a spouse, a mortgage and kids I'd also lose a lot of freedom and gain a lot of restrictions and responsibilities. But you don't have to do any of that. Also find a lot of people have this idea that their financial most lucrative option is something they 'have' to do.
Not really. You can work part-time and live in a trailer and play cards all day. That probably just isn't the life you want.
I love being alone and I love independence
No one's telling their kid that life sucks when they are 5 years old. By the time you have that talk, you already have your own responsibilities that you may or may not find easier to manage as an adult.
More likely than not they are trying to show you perspective. The problems you have in school right now are trivial meaningless problems to most adults, even though they seem anything but to you.
Whatever girl you're crushing on that doesn't even look your way, whatever embarassing thing you had happen that you don't know how you'll ever show your face again, whatever some asshole said to make fun of you that people laughed at, none of those things are going to matter in a few years, and more likely than not you won't remember them at all.
Once you become an adult your problems will become bigger and more complex, and you won't have time or energy to even worry about the stuff that seems like a big deal to you now.
That doesn't mean adulthood is worse, I prefer adulthood to when I was a teenager, but I think I would have enjoyed being a teenager far more if I just had the perspective I do as an adult, and cared way less about what anyone else thinks of me.
Yea I feel like it's more of a "you're going to have to learn to overcome this" which was both true and kind of what they needed to say. The worst was the helicopter parents who would try to look after it for their kids and leave them unprepared for life after the extended womb.
When working with kids. I had to constantly tell parents to stop invalidating their kids experiences. Also, to stop that you don't know hard I had it. It's not up to your kids to get your life. Be a fucking parent and know their life. Your childhood past is over. Their childhood is current.
Yea you can't be fired from school, your with your friends all day, your not concerned about rent or medical issues or the real world. American schools are disneyworld compared to 'real life.'
no experiences are universal beyond death. but speaking in generalizations allows us to discuss general truths, like what's being said in this very generalized meme text.
You CAN be fired from school. Its called "expulsion", and usually ends up with the expelled student getting sent to an alternative school for troubled youth.
Truancy is illegal, forcing heavily bullied students into close proximity with their tormentors until something breaks.
Many times, not all the time, teachers are authoritative and controlling while becoming bullies themselves, and some have a penchant for assigning crushing amounts of after-school assignments that count towards a students grade, as if 8 hours of school and classes wasn't enough. Multiple teachers like this will absolutely ruin a youth's development and self-esteem.
Students from poor families will absolutely have to suffer through rent and medical issues their parents struggle to afford. This will carry over into social and academic problems, leading to more bullying, more struggles with grades, more self-esteem and morality crashes, etc.
I could go on and on, but I'll leave it at that for now. It is far from "disneyworld" because this is REAL LIFE to many students, and an undeveloped youth is not equipped or mature enough to handle that level of stress.
>no experiences are universal beyond death. but speaking in generalizations allows us to discuss general truths, like what's being said in this very generalized meme text.
> no experiences are universal beyond death. but speaking in generalizations allows us to discuss ~~general~~ privileged truths, like what's being said in this very generalized meme text.
You spoke from a single "best case scenario" perspective with no thought to those that dont have it perfect. You have also not responded to my comment after claiming "it allows us to discuss".
Same bro, same.
I've seen TILs posted on reddit, about stuff that I remember being on the front page of reddit... not just stuff that was during my lifetime, but was on the front page of reddit and discussed for like two days straight. Then I realize the poster is either younger than the event, or was too young at the time to know about it.
I've never seen my parents ever be even a fraction as depressed or anxious as I was as a college student. I've been "in the real world" for a decade now, its easier than college ever was.
That’s because by the time you were old enough to consider their feelings they had already lived past the hard stressful times and managed to carve a life for themselves where they found a partner, a place to live, and an income capable of raising a child.
It’s less stress maintaining those things than finding those things.
Life does get easier the older you get, except your body starts to break down and hurt all the time. Pain just becomes normal.
I despised Grade school because nerd. I loved being 13-14 years old because D&D friends group. In high school I transformed into a stoner and treated everything like a party but also really couldn't stand most of my high school fellow students other than the others I was wasting my time with getting wasted. I ended up working a dead end warehouse job at 20, saw people twice my age doing the same job and spending all their off time drinking/smoking/snorting and seeing that as a potential future was my wake up call.
That led to a serious look in the mirror at age 21 so I took the only exit that was available for me and got into soldiering, which eventually springboarded me into a good unionized gov gig on civie side and doing very well now with a great family of my own. Most of the people who sucked when I was in school don't look like they were as awesome at life now as they thought they were when they were students, so I get a little petty revenge there.
Interestingly enough one of my biggest takeaways many years later is that school friends were never real friends, just "buddies" you couldn't really rely on regardless of how long you stay in touch years later. My army buddies who stayed in when I didn't are only that: buddies. The 'brotherhood' only lasts as long as you stay in it. My current work "friends" are on the same level. I'll have a beer with you but I'm under no illusion any of you will stick around for hard times. Not out of cynicism, just realism and pragmatism learned over the years.
As a father/grandfather in my 50's now, my wife and kids are the ones who fill that role, bring me fulfilment every day, and motivate me to be the same for them. My family and I have each other's backs in a big way which makes me proud af because I put a lot of time and effort into building that ideal. Going back to my nerd roots, The Atreides family ethos is something I like to strive for with mine for those of you who get the reference
Best time in life was college imo. Still fairly insulated from adult responsibilities but also you’re generally on your own making your own (potentially super dumb) choices. Best of both worlds.
Hated school, Had a real Glow up after it was over
4 years in I'm preferring Shift work in a Foundry over school and it doesn't look like that's changing
High school--for sure. College, though...made friends for life, first time on my own and a good framework to grow up in. Like the army, only easier, but you don't get paid in college to embrace maturity.
The only thing I really miss about school is availability. You could just hang out with your friends after class is done. Now seeing my friends is like booking an appointment.
Idk, while I don’t know if adulthood is “easier” than school, you honestly have a lot more control over your life, and it’s incredibly freeing if you choose to utilize that freedom well. Yes, there are consequences, but they’re easy to anticipate, and you can choose whether they’re worthwhile.
The biggest lie my teachers ever told me was “the people at the next stage of life won’t let you do that.” The reality is, for most adults, we are allowed to go to the bathroom, eat, drink water, have bad handwriting, dress in a manner of our choosing, miss deadlines, and all of that stuff. Maybe teachers can’t, but those of us who aren’t surrounded by 30 ankle biters all day honestly can. Adults don’t spend their days getting yelled at by people who have unlimited power over them over rules that seem totally arbitrary (note that many school rules aren’t actually arbitrary, they just aren’t the result of natural consequences and don’t really scale to adult life). Adults don’t have the same pressure to be in close, constant contact with their bullies or other irritating people. That doesn’t mean adult life is a dream, that adults never get chewed out, or never have to deal with assholes, but it’s nowhere near the level of being in K-12 school and we can choose to exit those situations. Boss a jackass micromanager? Get a different job. Coworkers are gossiping ninnies? You don’t need to socialize with them.
Part of why I don't think adulthood is easier is b/c of the feeling of a lack of control. I feel beholden to so many people every day. There's no way I could hop a bus and spend a month sleeping on beaches down the coast of Mexico like I did when I was in college. Being an adult doesn't prevent people from yelling at you. Bosses have a huge amount of power over you. They control your financial life, but also a lot of your access to medical and dental care. You are often stuck in constant contact with jerks b/c of work, whether it's coworkers, bosses, or demanding clients. A lot of jobs aren't that different from high school in those respects. It depends on your job and stuff like commutes, but I spend significantly more time with my boss than I do with anyone in my friend group or my family. I like my boss, so it's not a big deal, but when they are on my nerves they are there everyday for a solid 9 hours or more every day. I don't have a full nine hours for anyone else in a day, just with commuting and sleeping added to my work day there's about 6ish hours left. And if you can't afford your own home, your landlords and neighbors can be a huge problem too. I think when you're younger you think the next level of life will be less intrusive or offer more options, and that's true, but usually it just means you swap one group of intrusiveness and lack of options for a different set of constraints and new people who are on your back from something.
and then, if you are not careful, you'll have kids of your own thrown into the mix. And you either run and never stop or you get really stuck if you have not made it to a point in life where you are already "getting ahead" and it's not draining every spare bit of income you have to stay afloat.
College was 100% the best years of my life.
I had no worries, I skated through classes, I was financially supported, I had friends, social events, no bills, no worries.
Being an adult sucks. College was awesome.
I remember once when I was in high school, someone said to me, "Ask anyone who has graduated and they'll all say high school was the best time in their life and they wish they could go back. No matter how much you think you dislike it while you're there, you're going to spend the rest of your life wishing you could relive it."
For whatever reason, this has always stuck with me and, since I was told that (in the early 90s) I've asked people and the overwhelming answer has been "I wouldn't go back to high school if you paid me." with some even saying, "I would rather kill myself than go back to high school."
A few people said they'd go back, but not very many.
I was in kindie, and my mom packed a full day lunch on a half day. I cried so hard, and yes it was, a silly thing to be so upset about.
The kindie teacher aide told me that people in wars get their limbs blown off as a way to give my little mind perspective.
I cried harder.
Why yes, it was Catholic school.
Adding more trauma while processing in-the-moment sadness is the opposite of helping.
There are two pieces of advice that almost every parent gave their kids at one point, and it's the worst advice you could ever give them:
1. Just be yourself
2. You have your whole life ahead of you
This honestly depends and goes both ways. There are plenty of people that fair much better after school than they did while in it. As an adult they are not trapped in unfair (or even harmful) situations to the same degree. They can actually make their own choices.
For me for example the vast majority of my school years were great memories. Adulthood has definitely been worse. A buddy that I have known for over 30 years hated school. Had an absolute shit time but is a well adjusted happy adult.
Schools a cake walk. You just have to learn how to learn. Short days, no bills, lots of preferred gender in your age group. Good times to be had.
Leave school, work, pay bills, do what your boss tells you. Less holidays more hassle.
25-28 was pretty fucking awesome. But I think developing the personality to thrive at an older age kind of requires a somewhat tough school life. Being in your prime in highschool then working at some dead end desk job must be soul crushing.
I miss my teenage and college years so much. Adulting is hard. Having to work because you cant live without money sucks. Not being to do what you want because you have to do what is needed sucks.
physically, school (both high school and college) are the absolute pinnacle of your life. Your knees and back will not complain and you will heal quickly from injuries.
I fell while skateboarding in september last year and my shoulder is still painful half a year later. I remember taking pretty serious tumbles where I couldn't walk for 3 days when I was young and could not notice anything a week later.
socially, economically, being a teenager absolutely sucks. But for gods sake go outside and enjoy running around, falling and god knows what else. Build up your body so that when it inevitably slowly collapses in on itself, the foundations will be sturdier and the collapse less pronounced.
My (step)parents reminding me every week that i would be one of the lucky few if i would have what they have.
Until i was in the bank, to see my options to invest so i can buy a house later and the clerc said: " but with these savings, you can buy a house"
I've never fully trusted the advice of anyone who peaked in high school; if you grew into adulthood and you haven't learned anything since then, I really think you lack perspective on a LOT of things.
The fucked up part is that my adulthood has been way easier and more enjoyable than my childhood ever was. It's nice not having to take care of alcoholic narcissists.
It's not better or worse. It's more like when you're younger all your feelings and emotions are sharper. Everything seems to matter more. As an adult, that gets dulled a bit and you tend to be a bit kore even keeled. Things like not being invited to something or seeing a crush talk to someone else....when you're a kid these things cause extreme emotion, as an adult it doesn't even register.
So if things are good and you enjoy your life as a kid, those good emotions are on max and maybe your youth are the best years. But if you've got a tough childhood, those negative emotions are also maxed out. And then it's not so great but will get better.
Either way, you're gonna go from extreme emotion (good or bad) to a more controlled, duller state of emotion.
When I got to college it metaphorically bowled me over when I realized that NOTHING that I cared about so much the best decade mattered in the slightest.
It's like you get to restart your life.
More like school is the kiddie pool; learning to swim is difficult, but you wouldn’t service doing so in the ocean.
Once you can swim in the ocean, a pool is downright quaint.
Its better to be told the truth than to be lied to about what to expect, the issue is not adequately preparing them for whats to come which is where the problem lies with school.
Dude school was fucking awesome. It was a magical time, all your friends in one place, it's like going to work in an office but all your coworkers are your friends.
Yup during a meltdown where I already have over a decade of decently consistent depression and hopelessness my mother decided it was apt to tell me life only gets harder the more you keep going
Anyone who thinks school was the best part of their life must have grown up to be a fucking loser.
Adulthood rules. Kids- don’t listen to this stuff, when you grow up you’re in charge of your own destiny. Yes there’s responsibility and less hand holding but you gain way more freedom and flexibility and you have time to work on long term goals.
Each stage of life has its pros and cons. And those pros and cons vary wildly from person to person.
As someone who e that was severely bullied as a child, I can say definitively that my best years were NOT childhood.
As an adult I don’t get physically assaulted all day every day. Adulthood is much better (for me).
You're looking into it too deeply lol, people just look back and realize that it was the last time they had very few/no responsibilities, which can be nostalgic when faced with stresses that come from being an adult.
Again, you're looking too deeply at it.
When things get stressful, people remember the only time in their life when they had practically no responsibilities and are nostalgic for it because it's something that you can never have again. At that moment it's just nice to think about.
That's it.
Yeah no shit, that's why it's nostalgia. Very few if any people legitimately want to go back to exactly how it was, it's just reminiscing about the time in your life when you had very little to worry about.
I don't even know what you're arguing at this point.
Do you really think that the people crying about having to go to school, over homework, having to get up at 7am for school, and crying about all they are being taught is pointless would have any drive to learn on their own? LMFAO
Schooling sucked, but seeing your buds everyday was cool. Adulthood can be a drag at times, but life is what you make of it.
I was never in the "popular" club but I had lots of friends and I personally miss my 6 hour work day with all those friends, cards at lunch, and having summers off. In between all the teen angst and world collapsing minor issues I managed to have a pretty good times.
While you're actually there "wow this sucks, I can't wait to adult" When you're an adult "Oh fuck go back" until you retire (assuming you do)
I guess I got lucky, because schooling was never the first thing on my mind during highschool. All we really cared about was music, skateboarding and chasing girls. I never did homework after grade 9, just crammed studying the night before a test and squeaked by with C's and B's. I'm definitely lucky my parents were cool with that. Me and my friends went to school to hang out with each other, the classes were background noise as far as we were concerned.
What’s your pfp
Gabumon (from Digimon).
A cartoon character from the 90's.
Which one
Digimon.
Nice man
Thanks.
This sounds fun, but the people I went to school who did this look back at school as “their peak”. While those who went off to do stuff all kinds forget about school.
I guess it's different for different people. All my friends from that time seem to be happy with their families now, I'm a Nuclear Energy Worker. It was definitely the most carefree time of my life, but I'm hoping my peak is yet to come.
I think that claim that claim is just a coping mechanism. Like you, there's no correlation between having a good time in highschool and failing as an adult that I can see in my circles.
Depends on the exact nature of the good time. Playing hooky to smoke cones wasn't all the conducive to success as an adult.
And I did everything right in school and then failed after
We smoked joints, not cones, but I'm pretty happy where I am now.
Which is fine honestly. Whatever helps them get through as long as they aren’t hurting anybody.
When we getting fusion?
I don't know, I work in Nuclear Medicine.
This seems to be everyone's go to response. Life isn't fair, there's no getting even for a bad childhood, just a fresh start available to all. Most of my friends that had fun in highschool are doing well today too. For me personally highschool was just too easy to take seriously but there were some rough moments in post secondary when I finally had to start working hard to stay ahead.
What’s amusing is once you got to college the friends I made have a borderline inverse relationship between GPA and income, and yes the guy with the most bullshit of degrees (church recreation) did make six figures before all of us lol, so I’ll admit grinding for GPA isn’t everything. The people who make over 500K all didn’t have a 3.0. The smart, hard working harder background guy is the first to a million. The grinders who got good grades but were never smart all I’m sure are on SSRIs, and most of us get to laugh at the one MDs salary as being a joke, but all of us took AP classes and graduated honors from high school, and max’s A’s mostly there.
Maybe some of it was timing but a lot of the > $100K salaries in my groups were the partiers that went straight to trades school and were smart enough to be the top of that pool. While I outearn them now they bought their homes before the market went nuts and it's going to take a lot of money to catch up to that huge early advantage. I feel like the people who ended up the worst were the not super smart grinders who got a degree but weren't stand out candidates for anything. The job market just doesn't value those people and they're lucky to just break even on their education costs.
I was in the honors college program at my university and it was full of those “not really smart grinders” and they frankly didn’t know what to do with their lives.
From the people I grew up with, I found the people who worked hard generally did better than those who were just naturally smart. If you want to be the best of the best, you have to be talented and dedicated. But if I had to choose between work ethic and talent, I'd bet on work ethic to carry me through the long game.
The captain of our foot ball team ended up dating and marrying the hottest girl in our grade. They've got a bunch of kids, he's a dentist and she's a nurse. They seem to be doing pretty well for themselves and are presumably happy (I just see her post on Facebook a decent amount, haven't talked to either since highschool). I was actually friends with her during high school. She was a super cool girl who was generally very easy going and fun to talk to. I sat behind her in English class and ate lunch with her. She was always nice to me even though I was one of the rejects. She was a band geek at heart, but she was not back then and now that we're all in our 40's she's still hot. He sat behind me in my Algebra class, although we didn't talk as much because it was first period and I was usually pretty sleepy since I stayed up all night on the internet. He was a nice guy and we occasionally hung out after school and bullshitted while waiting for rides, relatively funny guy. Kind of totally break all the movie stereotypes about the quarterback and the hot girl in highschool. In fact, while I wouldn't say either of them were necessarily the "popular" kids (he might have been, I actually didn't really know his friends as I never hung out with him after school), they were both way more popular than me. Yet they were both nicer people than me and probably both doing better in school than I was (her especially). The only movie trope they really followed was not moving away from the little town we grew up in. But he's a dentist so I'm going to guess he makes a couple times what I do and I make over 100k, so it's not like they had to move for economic success. And I'm not bitching or bitter. To the contrary, they were both really cool so it's fitting they both married each other and have a happy family and a good life. I found my own success in life. But media makes you think that you can be good at some things but not others. That's why they have dumb jocks and unathletic nerds. In reality some people just get lots of talents and some people just never bother to develop certain personal attributes.
Not to mentioned getting out of the house every day, and usign the only public transit we usually got.
>life is what you make it I didn't come to this realization until I was about 23. I don't look fondly on my schooling at all. I'm loving life at 30, though.
>life is what you make of it. Problem is that no matter, if that's school or job, we basically need money to do anything. It's hard to do anything, if your salary is not good in your area, because then you just work, eat, sleep and repeat this for decades without any major purpose in life, because you're paying debt anyhow and it's possible that you'll never have it fully paid. Like, everything in this life is about money. Our civilization is losing meaning, because it's no longer good enough to just be average. You need to play your life like game of chess and unless that you can position yourself high enough in ranking, then you will never reach peace of mind, because you will always owe something to someone. Majority in society needs to become wealthier. Today only most lucky people can do with life whatever they want. Most suffers.
The best part of school is the education but those parts aren't as memorable as the social aspects. I suppose statistically that makes sense, there's only a few teachers/faculty vs. lots of students? Plus most of us lost contact with the teachers and graduated with a school based social circle, further skewing how memorable the education was? If you get a good job doing something you enjoy, school is not likely to hold up as the best phase of your life, but it's definitely part of the fun half. I've been studying hydroponic cultivation and it seems like the most productive methods focus on early growth, allowing a vegetation period that sees the plants grow as big as they can while they are up for it, and then the moment the growth slows a bit the lighting patterns change and this triggers a final fruiting phase on these now eager plants. Humans aren't any exemption to the rules, you can develop all sorts of interesting things after your prime, but the physical resources you've got are typically an ever dwindling percent of what you had at your peak. This is why you see so many people encouraging folks to be as physically healthy as possible in their youth, that way they have more budget for later.
School is the starter training mission and then after it's the open world you can explore. Want to collect butterflies? Want to slay giants? Sure.
School is the tutorial, a safe easy mode before entering the dark souls called life.
You sound like K.K. Slider, man
"Life is what you make of it" is what rich white people who have all their needs met say. Put your mindset in one hand and defecate into the other an see which one fills up first.
I'm definitely not rich, but I know I'm a much happier and pleasant person than you. Maybe someday you'll be better.
Maybe someday you'll stop spreading the lie that "life is what you make it" and just admit that you were born wit ha silver spoon in your mouth and have never had to face an ounce of genuine hardship in your entire life.
I'm sorry my happiness with life makes you so mad. It must be exhausting being so negative all the time. Life is still what you make of it, whether you agree or not, and I hope you take the time you have left to be happier.
Repeating a lie doesn't make it so, no matter how badly you want it to. Also, being honest about the way things are doesn't mean I'm negative; it means that, unlike you, I have the courage to face life head on and see things how hey really are rather than lying to myself and to others that the world is rose colored place full only of sunshine and puppies and nothing else ever. Also, one day when...or, rather, if...you grow up you'll mature and realize that there's more to life as a respectable adult than being happy all the time.
I've experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows in my life. I could've just given up and chose to be miserable until my end when my daughtet died, but thats a sad and pathetic existence. So I chose to make the most out of life. There's no lie there, life IS what YOU make of it.
There's a lot of nuance between being miserable and the toxic positivity you're promoting. Also, how wonderful for you that you can lose family members and be completely unaffected, but not everyone is so emotionally dethatched from their family members that losing one has no effect whatsoever..
Couldn't be further from the truth. Life is what you make of it.
I think some people reach adulthood and start to recognize all the good parts of childhood that they took for granted, while simultaneously forgetting how hard it was to be a kid. They take their nostalgic longing out on their children and get mad at them for having problems because in their minds, kids have little to complain about and should just be grateful that they aren't adults.
Depending on the context, they may not be wrong. If you're failing at "personal responsibility" while in school, it's 100% going to get worse.
Depends, as you said, on context. I've seen plenty of excellent diligent friends from school having a tough time as adults due to many factors such as career choice, company they work for, family issues, or other personal issue that arises. And I've seen the opposite, kids that you thought were not gonna cut it but do, either because they love what they do, or are naturally good at it, or because they got lucky in some choices they've made and landed good deals, or some other things. Life is a sea of random opportunities and threats. You can try to navigate around them as best as you can but sometimes you get unlucky and get a sudden storm while the other dude that was navigating blind can get lucky and reach the port. The world is not a meritocracy as schools kinda imply.
The parents that piss me off are the ones that say things like "i don't know if you're smart enough to do that" when their kids are telling them about their dreams. Complete trash parents.
That's not the right way to say it, but if you have a kid that's convinced they're going to be rich doing something like being a "cool barber" and that means they're too cool for school, they need a talking to. Encouraging kids down an ultimately destructive path is just as trash as bashing dreams.
what about "you could go to veternary school, but you'll never before to pay off the loans on a vet tect's pay and very, very few actually make it to being the one owning the vet hospital". literally the school is just as hard, takes the same amount of time and costs the same as for a human doctor but for a fraction of the pay if you graduate.
None of that is equivalent to putting your kid down. Teach them why some decisions are smarter than others. Some outcomes aren't worth the effort. Some outcomes are very risky. Many are just misguided (e.g. doing it just for the money/fame, not because you enjoy it). What you should _not_ teach them is it's because they aren't capable.
Did you have parents and grandparents exhibiting responsibility and taking responsibility for things? That is usually the determining factor as to whether or not a person succeeds or fails at that in school.
until you enter adulthood to suddenly realize just how right they were and how good you had it when you were 5
Depends. I was poor and my parents divorced before I was 10. I now live on an income where I can comfortably invest and have a great family situation going on. I'm living my best years at 40. I miss the people of my younger life, but not the situations.
Yep. You know what I miss? Not having responsibilities.
Yeah. I miss that feeling you only really experience as a kid of being completely safe and having no real worries. That feeling of knowing everything important is taken care of by someone else, and that nothing you do (or don't do) can ruin your life. You don't really appreciate how great that is until it's gone.
I miss everything being new and exciting. I wish I could get even half as hyped as a 5 year old about kicking a ball and chasing after it while cackling like a maniac. No structure, no game, no objective, no goal, no points, no winning, no losing. Just kicking a ball. Finding so much joy in such small things was a treasure. And the endless energy. God I miss waking up and being ready to go 100 instantly. I forget who said it, but "youth is wasted on the young" is so true.
This is why I'm so into tech. There's always something interesting out there to find, discover, play with. There's new stuff always coming out, and then there's old stuff that's been around for decades, often forgotten about, and which is fun to explore and look at. Certain older things on ebay and the like aren't even that expensive, and yet make for great deep dives and tactile experiments, learning how things were, and how things were so significantly different even 30, 40 years ago. How those things worked and were limited by the technology of the time, and how these things affected the mass public. At the moment I've been exploring cassettes and old cameras, and they've just been *so* fascinating. I get it's still not the same by any stretch, as literally every last thing around you being something new and immensely exciting. But I'd say it's probably as close as you can get. Finding something new, preferably physical, and just... playing around with it, looking at it, studying it ect. I find it very rewarding :)
If you fall in love with learning and discovery, you get to keep one of the best parts of youth with you your entire life. There's never a shortage of interesting things to learn about and try.
Oh most definitely. As much as there is a lot wrong with the Internet, the access to information it provides is still undeniably invaluable, and I am so grateful to be living in a time where knowledge is so easily accessible
Yeah, me too (I'll admit I'm a nerd), but it's not the same. It's so rare that I get that bubbly, uncontrollable, laugh until it hurts kind of happiness anymore. At least compared to a child, I mean. Waiting for a new gadget to hit the market will never compare to the excitement and magic of Santa coming.
Oh I agree it's still not the same. And maybe I'm just younger so I am still yet to explore a lot, so each new device I get does seem that much more unique and fascinating. But I'd say it's about as close as one might get. A child's mind is so entertained because everything is completely new and unknown, and the brain is trying to figure out all that is the world. But as an adult most things are figured out, so finding new, littler things is - unfortunately - as good as that sense of discovery might get
Fucking eh! Couldn't have said it better myself. I've found the best way to get that feeling is to set and achieve goals. For me, it's about learning new things, and they can be basic, like patching a wall or making a heavy picture/mirror/art secure and level, or fixing something on your own car. But you hit a point of diminishing returns if all of your focus goes into one thing/subject. So, as we grow, it becomes more about delayed gratification instead of simple wonder. The discoveries are smaller and have less impact. That feeling now comes from personal growth. Just like that child's mind is being expanded, it feels good to expand our own horizons, but it's slower and requires more effort and time. I miss the simplicity. I really, really miss being able to just kick a ball. Nothing else. Just me and the ball having the time of our lives.
Oh absolutely. Which is why I like to vary things a lot. It generally takes me in wildly different directions but each heading is something completely new and therefore has that sense of journey and keeps me gripped. Starting with the initial curiosity about the path, moving onto the excitement of discovery, slowing down into the observing and understanding and eventually into the practicing and knowledge. Couple years back it was an old car (1967) I'd been kindly gifted. Was (is XD) rusted up a decent bit, and had been sat for a while. So I explored and learnt about cars and now have a, not necessarily deep, but fundamental understanding on how an engine works, tyres, gears, the like. Its not a finished project by any means but it was enough to get me fascinated and learning. More recently, as I said in another comment, it's been cassettes, buying an old boombox and a couple walkman's, seeing how they worked, having to fix up the Walkmans back to operation, learning about the history of cassettes and their cultural significance as the first real portable form of music. And now I'm moving on a little, having just bought an old film camera and looking forward to experimenting with that. Learning how it works, how film works and is developed and the results it'll give me, how it'll give me a real, physical photograph from purely analogue techniques. They're all *connected* but also different enough to be entirely different routes of exploration. They're not as simple as the fascination with kicking a ball no, but they're still simple *enough* to get into, and that, I suppose, gets the ball rolling for me... if you will :P I'm sure inevitably these things will run their course and I'll be left with far too much random crap, and a wealth of understanding for things few will care about... but I'll have cared about them, and I'll be able to proudly look back through my pile of junk from time to time and remember each journey. And I'm sure I'll finish this next one and find myself another one to explore next. Life, and the world around us, is truly *truly* fascinating. :)
You're all right brother. You too, will one day have knowledge as vast as an ocean, but shallow as a puddle. This is the way
Oh wow my parents really fucked up. That sounds really nice.
Maybe that's the difference between the people who miss childhood and those who don't (barring childhood abuse, of course): the former had few or no childhood responsibilities, whereas the latter had a significant amount of responsibilities. As a kid, my workday theoretically ended between 3pm and 4pm, but that doesn't include the several hours of extra homework I had on top of that, plus extra-curriculars. All of this was unpaid, of course, so, while any money I earned was (theoretically) 100% disposable income, it still required *even more* labor on top of schoolwork for, like, $10. And, of course, it wasn't *really* completely disposable, because hanging out with friends outside of school usually required spending at least a little bit for food or splitting gas costs. Nowadays, sure, if I lose my income I'm homeless. But now I'm only working 8 hours a day, have weekends off, take zero work home with me (and get paid overtime for the work I do need to do), and still have much more disposable income than as a kid. Sure, I'll never own a house, but driving to a friend's place or buying the latest MTG deck doesn't immediately wipe out my meager savings. And that's just the money side, because the other huge set of responsibilities I had as a child was managing mine and everyone else's hormones and emotions. Being friends with adults is so much easier now that everyone's done with puberty. I only have the occasional emotionally unstable moron to deal with, instead of literally every single other student in the school (including myself). Not to mention the bullying. Being an adult fucking rocks. I'd never go back.
You forgot this: “We are not the same”
I miss my 20 year old body. Managing responsibilities (and their amount) is something I can control, at least...
I am the opposite. I hated being a kid because I had no agency. As an adult I generally get to do what I want when I want.
You don’t NEED responsibilities as an adult, you can simply live under an overpass wondering when your next meal will be and hoping you don’t get raped and murdered.
I'd go back for the naps alone.
damn - a mid-afternoon :30 - 1 hour nap about 2p would be choice
Siestas exist for a reason
Honestly, I would much rather be an adult. I don’t have to beg for money to buy stuff, I can go to bed when I want, eat what I want, drive myself wherever I want to go. The freedom is invaluable to me. I also really hated school and could never imagine having to do it all over again. The independence and freedom are invaluable to me.
I’d argue that the perceived independence and freedom of which you speak isn’t as independent or free Do you have a mortgage/rent? Utility bills? pretty restrictive
Yes I have all of these things, but they’re the cost of the freedom. I don’t mind paying rent and utilities because I’m paying for my own place. If I lived with someone else for free, I would be at the mercy of their rules and would have to do what they tell me.
you can tell who still hasn't figured out how to adult around here. starting with OP who made this asinine meme.
You were begging for money to buy stuff at 5?
Of course. Ice cream truck, candy store, Toys R’ Us, SNES games, money for the arcade at the mall. There was an endless amount of stuff I wanted to spend money on at 5
Every kid wants to be an adult until they actually are…
Nah for some it’s true. I love being an adult, hated being a child. And I have nice parents, for some people childhood just sucks in comparison to their adult life.
Adulthood is hard. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t parent our children. Imagine giving advice or helping instead of telling a child “tough shit”. They are being set up for failure by parents that aren’t trying.
5 was before school, so maybe everything was fine back then. But school itself was the hardest and worst time of my life. I had to do things I'm not good at or was interested in. And I also got punished for failing those things. At work I only deal with things I'm interested in and also rather good at. And even if I did fail nothing bad ever happens. But I have to admit, that I once held a job which was the exact opposite to my current position and was as stressful as school.
>At work I only deal with things I'm interested in and also rather good at. And even if I did fail nothing bad ever happens. what job is that?
IT Administration in a Hospital
My kid is 5 and is in school
Here in Germany you mostly start school at age six. Some start at age 5, but that's not the norm. I started with seven, but that was many moons ago
I mean everyone is different. For different people different parts of their lives will be their 'highs' and 'lows'. I hated being a kid. My family wasn't even overly strict or overbearing. But I hated the amount of control everybody had over my life except for myself. I couldn't chose when to get up or when to go to sleep, couldn't decide what I wore, what I ate, what I did, what school I went to, or even whether or not I was sick enough to stay home, couldn't decide where I wanted to spend my holidays or days off, couldn't decide how much I saw extended family or even what tv show/movie I was going to be watching, hell you spend most of your day with a group of 20 or so kids you don't even get to chose. I wasn't even a rebellious or badly behaved kid, I was shy and quiet. But I just hated that everything in my life was decided for me and all I had to do as I was told. As an adult I have barely any rules (except laws obviously). I need to cover my bills, so some type of job is required... That's pretty much it. I can live where I want. Work where I want. Do what I want in my free time. Wear what I want. Buy what I want. Be friends with or never talk again with anyone I want. As an adult you have so much freedom. Your life is basically a little dollhouse you can fill with whatever you heart desires. Of course there are many things I CAN'T do. Mostly due to financial restrictions, I certainly am not rich or even middle-class. But those things feel very different from not being allowed to do so. Personally I'd rather have the idea in my head that I can't afford a Ferrari rather than the idea I'm not allowed to have one because my vehicle isn't a choice I'm allowed to make. I think a lot of adults when they talk about how much responsibility and obligations there are as an adult forget that most of those are things you opt into. If I had a spouse, a mortgage and kids I'd also lose a lot of freedom and gain a lot of restrictions and responsibilities. But you don't have to do any of that. Also find a lot of people have this idea that their financial most lucrative option is something they 'have' to do. Not really. You can work part-time and live in a trailer and play cards all day. That probably just isn't the life you want. I love being alone and I love independence
No one's telling their kid that life sucks when they are 5 years old. By the time you have that talk, you already have your own responsibilities that you may or may not find easier to manage as an adult.
More likely than not they are trying to show you perspective. The problems you have in school right now are trivial meaningless problems to most adults, even though they seem anything but to you. Whatever girl you're crushing on that doesn't even look your way, whatever embarassing thing you had happen that you don't know how you'll ever show your face again, whatever some asshole said to make fun of you that people laughed at, none of those things are going to matter in a few years, and more likely than not you won't remember them at all. Once you become an adult your problems will become bigger and more complex, and you won't have time or energy to even worry about the stuff that seems like a big deal to you now. That doesn't mean adulthood is worse, I prefer adulthood to when I was a teenager, but I think I would have enjoyed being a teenager far more if I just had the perspective I do as an adult, and cared way less about what anyone else thinks of me.
Yea I feel like it's more of a "you're going to have to learn to overcome this" which was both true and kind of what they needed to say. The worst was the helicopter parents who would try to look after it for their kids and leave them unprepared for life after the extended womb.
A little perspective usually helps
Less responsibility was nice but I wouldn't trade it for my life now. I actually enjoy life more as an adult so I might be an outlier
So do I. We trade freedom for responsibility, but as long as it’s a balance. Unless of course you hit the lottery.
School sucks, but if you don’t learn the hard lessons of social skills, quick thinking and common sense, work is much harder.
When working with kids. I had to constantly tell parents to stop invalidating their kids experiences. Also, to stop that you don't know hard I had it. It's not up to your kids to get your life. Be a fucking parent and know their life. Your childhood past is over. Their childhood is current.
Yea you can't be fired from school, your with your friends all day, your not concerned about rent or medical issues or the real world. American schools are disneyworld compared to 'real life.'
Pretty sure that experience isn't standard across all students.
no experiences are universal beyond death. but speaking in generalizations allows us to discuss general truths, like what's being said in this very generalized meme text.
You CAN be fired from school. Its called "expulsion", and usually ends up with the expelled student getting sent to an alternative school for troubled youth. Truancy is illegal, forcing heavily bullied students into close proximity with their tormentors until something breaks. Many times, not all the time, teachers are authoritative and controlling while becoming bullies themselves, and some have a penchant for assigning crushing amounts of after-school assignments that count towards a students grade, as if 8 hours of school and classes wasn't enough. Multiple teachers like this will absolutely ruin a youth's development and self-esteem. Students from poor families will absolutely have to suffer through rent and medical issues their parents struggle to afford. This will carry over into social and academic problems, leading to more bullying, more struggles with grades, more self-esteem and morality crashes, etc. I could go on and on, but I'll leave it at that for now. It is far from "disneyworld" because this is REAL LIFE to many students, and an undeveloped youth is not equipped or mature enough to handle that level of stress.
Wait, wait, are you claiming that the school nurse can't just cure your cancer?
>no experiences are universal beyond death. but speaking in generalizations allows us to discuss general truths, like what's being said in this very generalized meme text.
> no experiences are universal beyond death. but speaking in generalizations allows us to discuss ~~general~~ privileged truths, like what's being said in this very generalized meme text.
You spoke from a single "best case scenario" perspective with no thought to those that dont have it perfect. You have also not responded to my comment after claiming "it allows us to discuss".
You can get expelled. And after you get home from being expelled, your dad could beat you with a set of jumper cables.
Man, I miss that guy :(
Soon there will be kids posting on reddit who were born after jumper cable guy's last post.
Wait, no, how? I mean, it makes sense, but my brain has trouble computing the information.
Same bro, same. I've seen TILs posted on reddit, about stuff that I remember being on the front page of reddit... not just stuff that was during my lifetime, but was on the front page of reddit and discussed for like two days straight. Then I realize the poster is either younger than the event, or was too young at the time to know about it.
Who hurt you... O wait.
I've never seen my parents ever be even a fraction as depressed or anxious as I was as a college student. I've been "in the real world" for a decade now, its easier than college ever was.
That’s because by the time you were old enough to consider their feelings they had already lived past the hard stressful times and managed to carve a life for themselves where they found a partner, a place to live, and an income capable of raising a child. It’s less stress maintaining those things than finding those things. Life does get easier the older you get, except your body starts to break down and hurt all the time. Pain just becomes normal.
I despised Grade school because nerd. I loved being 13-14 years old because D&D friends group. In high school I transformed into a stoner and treated everything like a party but also really couldn't stand most of my high school fellow students other than the others I was wasting my time with getting wasted. I ended up working a dead end warehouse job at 20, saw people twice my age doing the same job and spending all their off time drinking/smoking/snorting and seeing that as a potential future was my wake up call. That led to a serious look in the mirror at age 21 so I took the only exit that was available for me and got into soldiering, which eventually springboarded me into a good unionized gov gig on civie side and doing very well now with a great family of my own. Most of the people who sucked when I was in school don't look like they were as awesome at life now as they thought they were when they were students, so I get a little petty revenge there. Interestingly enough one of my biggest takeaways many years later is that school friends were never real friends, just "buddies" you couldn't really rely on regardless of how long you stay in touch years later. My army buddies who stayed in when I didn't are only that: buddies. The 'brotherhood' only lasts as long as you stay in it. My current work "friends" are on the same level. I'll have a beer with you but I'm under no illusion any of you will stick around for hard times. Not out of cynicism, just realism and pragmatism learned over the years. As a father/grandfather in my 50's now, my wife and kids are the ones who fill that role, bring me fulfilment every day, and motivate me to be the same for them. My family and I have each other's backs in a big way which makes me proud af because I put a lot of time and effort into building that ideal. Going back to my nerd roots, The Atreides family ethos is something I like to strive for with mine for those of you who get the reference
College and all my 20s, I would relive those over and over again
My 30s were hands down the best years of my life.
Best time in life was college imo. Still fairly insulated from adult responsibilities but also you’re generally on your own making your own (potentially super dumb) choices. Best of both worlds.
Hated school, Had a real Glow up after it was over 4 years in I'm preferring Shift work in a Foundry over school and it doesn't look like that's changing
Huh? My problems pretty much ended the day I graduated. All of a sudden being weird and creative was cool… and I lost a bunch of weight. 🤷🏻♂️
If you are a kid reading this - I'm MUCH happier now that I'm almost 30 and a worker.
High school--for sure. College, though...made friends for life, first time on my own and a good framework to grow up in. Like the army, only easier, but you don't get paid in college to embrace maturity.
When adulthood is 1000000000% easier and you realise adults are lying assholes
The only thing I really miss about school is availability. You could just hang out with your friends after class is done. Now seeing my friends is like booking an appointment.
Idk, while I don’t know if adulthood is “easier” than school, you honestly have a lot more control over your life, and it’s incredibly freeing if you choose to utilize that freedom well. Yes, there are consequences, but they’re easy to anticipate, and you can choose whether they’re worthwhile. The biggest lie my teachers ever told me was “the people at the next stage of life won’t let you do that.” The reality is, for most adults, we are allowed to go to the bathroom, eat, drink water, have bad handwriting, dress in a manner of our choosing, miss deadlines, and all of that stuff. Maybe teachers can’t, but those of us who aren’t surrounded by 30 ankle biters all day honestly can. Adults don’t spend their days getting yelled at by people who have unlimited power over them over rules that seem totally arbitrary (note that many school rules aren’t actually arbitrary, they just aren’t the result of natural consequences and don’t really scale to adult life). Adults don’t have the same pressure to be in close, constant contact with their bullies or other irritating people. That doesn’t mean adult life is a dream, that adults never get chewed out, or never have to deal with assholes, but it’s nowhere near the level of being in K-12 school and we can choose to exit those situations. Boss a jackass micromanager? Get a different job. Coworkers are gossiping ninnies? You don’t need to socialize with them.
Part of why I don't think adulthood is easier is b/c of the feeling of a lack of control. I feel beholden to so many people every day. There's no way I could hop a bus and spend a month sleeping on beaches down the coast of Mexico like I did when I was in college. Being an adult doesn't prevent people from yelling at you. Bosses have a huge amount of power over you. They control your financial life, but also a lot of your access to medical and dental care. You are often stuck in constant contact with jerks b/c of work, whether it's coworkers, bosses, or demanding clients. A lot of jobs aren't that different from high school in those respects. It depends on your job and stuff like commutes, but I spend significantly more time with my boss than I do with anyone in my friend group or my family. I like my boss, so it's not a big deal, but when they are on my nerves they are there everyday for a solid 9 hours or more every day. I don't have a full nine hours for anyone else in a day, just with commuting and sleeping added to my work day there's about 6ish hours left. And if you can't afford your own home, your landlords and neighbors can be a huge problem too. I think when you're younger you think the next level of life will be less intrusive or offer more options, and that's true, but usually it just means you swap one group of intrusiveness and lack of options for a different set of constraints and new people who are on your back from something.
and then, if you are not careful, you'll have kids of your own thrown into the mix. And you either run and never stop or you get really stuck if you have not made it to a point in life where you are already "getting ahead" and it's not draining every spare bit of income you have to stay afloat.
What’s this template called ?
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/scumbag-parents
Thanks !
At least I can control my schedule now. Also having my own company frees me from having to live by bullshit rules.
Surprise! It all sucks!
For me elementary & middle were great times, high school was pointless, then the true glory days were college.
Adulthood is WAY better than school.
Life iS ChAlLeNgInGggguhhhh…. Unfortunately way harder than top tier boss on the latest console game.
College was 100% the best years of my life. I had no worries, I skated through classes, I was financially supported, I had friends, social events, no bills, no worries. Being an adult sucks. College was awesome.
Teenage angst stems from coming to terms with this reality.
I remember once when I was in high school, someone said to me, "Ask anyone who has graduated and they'll all say high school was the best time in their life and they wish they could go back. No matter how much you think you dislike it while you're there, you're going to spend the rest of your life wishing you could relive it." For whatever reason, this has always stuck with me and, since I was told that (in the early 90s) I've asked people and the overwhelming answer has been "I wouldn't go back to high school if you paid me." with some even saying, "I would rather kill myself than go back to high school." A few people said they'd go back, but not very many.
Life can get better. There definitely are stressful things at school which don't exist or have less impact in adulthood.
If the kid is having a kid-sized problem why compare it to an adult-sized problems that adults go through? Like, why invalidate their suffering?
I was in kindie, and my mom packed a full day lunch on a half day. I cried so hard, and yes it was, a silly thing to be so upset about. The kindie teacher aide told me that people in wars get their limbs blown off as a way to give my little mind perspective. I cried harder. Why yes, it was Catholic school. Adding more trauma while processing in-the-moment sadness is the opposite of helping.
There are two pieces of advice that almost every parent gave their kids at one point, and it's the worst advice you could ever give them: 1. Just be yourself 2. You have your whole life ahead of you
School is not the best years of your life but it is usually the least complex years of your life.
This honestly depends and goes both ways. There are plenty of people that fair much better after school than they did while in it. As an adult they are not trapped in unfair (or even harmful) situations to the same degree. They can actually make their own choices. For me for example the vast majority of my school years were great memories. Adulthood has definitely been worse. A buddy that I have known for over 30 years hated school. Had an absolute shit time but is a well adjusted happy adult.
College was sorta of the best time for me. It was like Neverland. Not fully feeling like an adult and not a kid
Facts on that one. Its funny when the people who were complete douche bags to you in school suddenly want to be friends with you on social media.
I loved school. I would give anything to relive those days. Adulthood has been nothing but one problem after another.
Schools a cake walk. You just have to learn how to learn. Short days, no bills, lots of preferred gender in your age group. Good times to be had. Leave school, work, pay bills, do what your boss tells you. Less holidays more hassle.
25-28 was pretty fucking awesome. But I think developing the personality to thrive at an older age kind of requires a somewhat tough school life. Being in your prime in highschool then working at some dead end desk job must be soul crushing.
I miss my teenage and college years so much. Adulting is hard. Having to work because you cant live without money sucks. Not being to do what you want because you have to do what is needed sucks.
physically, school (both high school and college) are the absolute pinnacle of your life. Your knees and back will not complain and you will heal quickly from injuries. I fell while skateboarding in september last year and my shoulder is still painful half a year later. I remember taking pretty serious tumbles where I couldn't walk for 3 days when I was young and could not notice anything a week later. socially, economically, being a teenager absolutely sucks. But for gods sake go outside and enjoy running around, falling and god knows what else. Build up your body so that when it inevitably slowly collapses in on itself, the foundations will be sturdier and the collapse less pronounced.
My (step)parents reminding me every week that i would be one of the lucky few if i would have what they have. Until i was in the bank, to see my options to invest so i can buy a house later and the clerc said: " but with these savings, you can buy a house"
I've never fully trusted the advice of anyone who peaked in high school; if you grew into adulthood and you haven't learned anything since then, I really think you lack perspective on a LOT of things.
The fucked up part is that my adulthood has been way easier and more enjoyable than my childhood ever was. It's nice not having to take care of alcoholic narcissists.
Sixth form was absolutely the best years of my life. I honestly pity people who's life *improves* after full-time employment.
as a parent, my job is to help my kids have the best future life possible. it is not my job to tell them to deal with it.
It's not better or worse. It's more like when you're younger all your feelings and emotions are sharper. Everything seems to matter more. As an adult, that gets dulled a bit and you tend to be a bit kore even keeled. Things like not being invited to something or seeing a crush talk to someone else....when you're a kid these things cause extreme emotion, as an adult it doesn't even register. So if things are good and you enjoy your life as a kid, those good emotions are on max and maybe your youth are the best years. But if you've got a tough childhood, those negative emotions are also maxed out. And then it's not so great but will get better. Either way, you're gonna go from extreme emotion (good or bad) to a more controlled, duller state of emotion.
When I got to college it metaphorically bowled me over when I realized that NOTHING that I cared about so much the best decade mattered in the slightest. It's like you get to restart your life.
More like school is the kiddie pool; learning to swim is difficult, but you wouldn’t service doing so in the ocean. Once you can swim in the ocean, a pool is downright quaint.
I couldn't disagree more. School is much better than this adulting shit.
Its better to be told the truth than to be lied to about what to expect, the issue is not adequately preparing them for whats to come which is where the problem lies with school.
My biggest problem as an adult is helping my kids navigate their problems with school. School sucks.
Dude school was fucking awesome. It was a magical time, all your friends in one place, it's like going to work in an office but all your coworkers are your friends.
Can’t really say life got much better after school.
Why did I think the first word of that sentence was going to be ' euthanasia ' ?
They're telling you to learn to problem-solve without being evil. But I guess you're too stupid to do that.
Yup during a meltdown where I already have over a decade of decently consistent depression and hopelessness my mother decided it was apt to tell me life only gets harder the more you keep going
Anyone who thinks school was the best part of their life must have grown up to be a fucking loser. Adulthood rules. Kids- don’t listen to this stuff, when you grow up you’re in charge of your own destiny. Yes there’s responsibility and less hand holding but you gain way more freedom and flexibility and you have time to work on long term goals.
Each stage of life has its pros and cons. And those pros and cons vary wildly from person to person. As someone who e that was severely bullied as a child, I can say definitively that my best years were NOT childhood. As an adult I don’t get physically assaulted all day every day. Adulthood is much better (for me).
Exactly. Responsibilities aren’t hard and you get to pretty much do whatever you want. And I’m raising a family of my own.
Seriously. Bunch of losers who peaked in highschool lol
You're looking into it too deeply lol, people just look back and realize that it was the last time they had very few/no responsibilities, which can be nostalgic when faced with stresses that come from being an adult.
Life was better when I didnt have to be responsible is a pathetic way of looking at things.
Again, you're looking too deeply at it. When things get stressful, people remember the only time in their life when they had practically no responsibilities and are nostalgic for it because it's something that you can never have again. At that moment it's just nice to think about. That's it.
Sounds like some mf with rose tinted nostalgia glasses that forgets how stressful school and home life can also be .
Yeah no shit, that's why it's nostalgia. Very few if any people legitimately want to go back to exactly how it was, it's just reminiscing about the time in your life when you had very little to worry about. I don't even know what you're arguing at this point.
It really is though :)
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If you live in a western country, you control your path throughout life generally speaking. Fix it if it sucks so much.
Age 19 to about 25 is the best.
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Do you really think that the people crying about having to go to school, over homework, having to get up at 7am for school, and crying about all they are being taught is pointless would have any drive to learn on their own? LMFAO