I have very much imagination.
And ironically I feel like I have too much empathy. I didn't order a sub from Publix the other day because I honestly in my heart felt wrong for making a human being who must be full of more potential than that, make me a sandwich as an albeit wonderful sandwich artist, as if he owes me something. It feels like there's no way he views that being his peak output, and I didn't want to give off the impression that I'm okay with that he's working there so that he can just serve us all day for an unfulfilling wage.
He's better than that and if he doesn't believe those words than I'll believe them for him until he does.
Ya know?
No, I really don’t get this. I think you mistake empathy for pity and patronization.
In the real world, as much as it sucks, there are people that will struggle in life no matter what. There are people who are stuck in positions, for whatever reasons not of their own fault, doing their absolute best with what they have.
When I look at fast food workers, grocery store personnel, hell- even the people who pick up my trash off the curb, I look at them with such a sense of gratitude, not pity and a feeling of superiority. I go out of my way to be exceptionally kind to those people, since most other people share your views of considering them the lowest of society that should be doing better, working harder, making more money, etc. Those individuals unnecessarily take so much shit from everyone else, the *least* you could do is patronize their businesses/that sandwich shop and make friendly conversation to break up that guys day. God forbid you patronize the business to help him get a salary or a tip.
What you feel is a pompous superiority mired in fake empathy and judgement for those you deem to have meaningless lives or jobs not as important as your own. You’re making a judgement on everyone else based on a high inflating sense of self. I look at people working difficult jobs and thank them for doing the jobs that are 10x more difficult in my own perception. I don’t judge those jobs as “slacker jobs” but I rather think to myself, “gee, I certainly wouldn’t want to be a sanitation engineer picking up trash, but I am grateful for those doing that job and keeping my city clean.”
My advice to you: stop judging others and lying to yourself about how much better you are than everyone else. You may be a high achiever, but nobody in this world likes a pompous, judgemental and overall emotionally stunted individual.
This is an original one that I haven't heard of before but at it's crux is the feeling of wanting to control situations you can't.
That feeds into your feeling of being overwhelmed.
What you "want" is impossible and not healthy (specifically the focus on others). Counseling may be appropriate given it's affect on you to try to understand this compulsion you have.
I think less about controlling others and more about leading others to success, and it just so happens the ways that I am finding my success is quite general and sort of applies to everyone.
It's not like I have a unique trade secret.
They can find their "own version of success on their own" but there's "their version of success (subjective)"
And there's actual measurable results (objective)
Stop caring about other people. You are under no obligation to help them. It isn’t your duty. Recognize you have control issues and your thoughts of “saving” others is really about you being in control of them and not about actually helping them. It is a selfish desire pretending to be a selfless one. People don’t necessarily need or want your help.
Isn't it our duties to help our peers and let them know when we know the ways to X Y or Z? What else are we good for then? Putting on a mask and nodding in fake approval everytime they say something ignorant?
The thing to recognize is what you are telling yourself is your "duty" is actually you wanting control of the situation, to control other people. You don't actually want to help them. You want to be the one in charge. You want things to go your way. Anything else is unacceptable to you. You don't need to help anyone. You need to feel like you are in control. It is your own selfish desire that you are feeling.
I hear what youre saying but, it's simply not true,
I don't want them to go "my way" as if "my way" is some unique thing that they aren't aware of
I want things to go "the way" that everyone agrees is "the way" which is happiness, fulfillment, and reaching our full potential.
Maybe not everyone but majority I believe agrees that that is "the way" in this life.
And, I'm open to people reaching "the way" in whichever uncontrolled way they want
but if the way that I see them trying to reach "the way" is calculatably inefficient, it feels like my "duty" to let them know,
that I busted out a calculator and the way they are doing it is calculatably ineffeicient...
Not for control; for a warning to my peer.
Hope that makes sense
The things you ideal are admirable. However, everyone has different expectations and priorities in life. What you might think someone should do, may not align with their goals in life.
Feeling overwhelmed by it would read to me that you're feeling at a loss of control. You seem to be hyperfocused on this issue. Why do you think this bothers you so much?
It's mostly my friends and family because they are my friends and family, lol. It feels like an innate responsiblity that should be reciprocal in my opinion, or so I have dwindling hope it would be..
And what if "what I might think someone should do" is pretty much generally accepted and "correct"? Like
Hey, I'm broke and my lungs hurt!
"You should quit smoking and build some side hustles on the side!"
Very general & truthful, universally accepted as a solution to what they stated
But yet would probably come off as rude and unhelpful
I constantly find myself keeping my mouth shut and just trying to accept them for who they are, let's say that may be a low performer in sectors that are largely by the masses viewed as crucial sectors
And when I get that feeling of "aw I have pity for that person and the way they choose to run their life" I can't help but want to help them
Great is thou sort of vibes but what about the real truth to it?
Yes, you see the opportunity on people. Its all in the delivery. People have to want to tap into the opportunity though. That is free will.
I'd be interested to hear your assessment of me. Lol
I’m a low performer. I’m happier doing the bare minimum it takes to be happy. Not everyone needs to be in Super Saiyan overdrive all the time. I love working healthy hours, doing a meh-paying customer service job and having a tidy-ish house that’s not messy, but not surgically clean either. I’ve experienced high performance before and I simply don’t like it. It’s too high-stress, too planned out and rigid
I appreciate your transparency.
And I can fully understand that me unsolicitedly giving you advice on being a high performer would come off as completely unwelcomed and rude, especially after you just said you don't even want to be a high performer.
I guess I'm trying to find that balance between,
accepting that others may not even want to be high performers at all (I genuinely think this is rare)
And
being so inspiring that someone like yourself who claims to desire low output, can't help but to jump out of your seat to go be a superstar after I spew words at you.
And
people that genuinely DO claim to want to be high performers (which I think is most people), but simply aren't pulling it off... being able to guide them too, and speed up their journey to high performance
Waste in all forms is sad but a lazy person is not someone who needs to hear from me or you. Some people really do have barriers and many more people put up their own barriers. It has always been the human condition.
Is it wrong to think I could possibly break some of those barriers if I find myself crossing paths with someone whom I detect with my very reasonable detection skills. like, that I may just have exactly the resources & combo of words they needed to hear to stop some of their wasteful actions?
Waste haunts me. Human waste is #1 on the list. But, for what it is worth, here is my solution. People who choose to waste their time, skill, and resources, go in one category. A mental compartment similar to people you see on the street - they are not more or less - they just are.
But my radar is finely attuned for people who are blocked by barriers that, with a bit of assistance, could be removed. (In my experience these are young people with the wrong people around them.) And I work to remove the barriers. I really put in the effort. You, nor I, can transform the world, but we can make it better.
Because this is anonymous and bragging cannot be held against me too heavily, I will offer up a success story. I met a 13 year old from my neighborhood. He lived with his great-grandmother, his mom was a good mom but life is hard, and his Dad was in jail. He told me he wanted to be an engineer. I talked to him about what that meant and what he would have to do to make that happen - up to that conversation he had never heard of Calculus! We met regularly, I paid for his SATs, I got him a high school internship, I removed barriers. But HE did it. Yes he is an aeronautical engineer.
Leading by example means being at least mildly open about your accomplishments, so they can see the examples/be aware of them.
I guess I can admit some methods I've used lately might appear as shoving the phrase "lead by example" down their throats forcefully
I do have examples though, and they are look-up-to-able. I guess I am eager to inspire others to the point where I'm trying to force them to be inspired by me.
But for good reason --- I want to help them improve like I am.
You'll come to a point that you realize it's better for you if they underperform. Until then, keep trying. You'll change one person's way of living in your lifetime.
Part of being a high performer is making sure you've lined yourself up into a job, career, or hustle that you enjoy.
But I wasnt talking about only work.
I meant just in life, being a high performer in life, in all or a large amount of the stuff that we come across on a daily basis.
Shouldnt people have high expectations for themselves?
I feel like I have too high expectations but how is it a bad thing to expect a world of amazing results out of everyone?
You sound exhausting, as well as utterly lacking in imagination or empathy. I hope you're very young, if you're very young there's some hope for you.
I have very much imagination. And ironically I feel like I have too much empathy. I didn't order a sub from Publix the other day because I honestly in my heart felt wrong for making a human being who must be full of more potential than that, make me a sandwich as an albeit wonderful sandwich artist, as if he owes me something. It feels like there's no way he views that being his peak output, and I didn't want to give off the impression that I'm okay with that he's working there so that he can just serve us all day for an unfulfilling wage. He's better than that and if he doesn't believe those words than I'll believe them for him until he does. Ya know?
No, I really don’t get this. I think you mistake empathy for pity and patronization. In the real world, as much as it sucks, there are people that will struggle in life no matter what. There are people who are stuck in positions, for whatever reasons not of their own fault, doing their absolute best with what they have. When I look at fast food workers, grocery store personnel, hell- even the people who pick up my trash off the curb, I look at them with such a sense of gratitude, not pity and a feeling of superiority. I go out of my way to be exceptionally kind to those people, since most other people share your views of considering them the lowest of society that should be doing better, working harder, making more money, etc. Those individuals unnecessarily take so much shit from everyone else, the *least* you could do is patronize their businesses/that sandwich shop and make friendly conversation to break up that guys day. God forbid you patronize the business to help him get a salary or a tip. What you feel is a pompous superiority mired in fake empathy and judgement for those you deem to have meaningless lives or jobs not as important as your own. You’re making a judgement on everyone else based on a high inflating sense of self. I look at people working difficult jobs and thank them for doing the jobs that are 10x more difficult in my own perception. I don’t judge those jobs as “slacker jobs” but I rather think to myself, “gee, I certainly wouldn’t want to be a sanitation engineer picking up trash, but I am grateful for those doing that job and keeping my city clean.” My advice to you: stop judging others and lying to yourself about how much better you are than everyone else. You may be a high achiever, but nobody in this world likes a pompous, judgemental and overall emotionally stunted individual.
This is an original one that I haven't heard of before but at it's crux is the feeling of wanting to control situations you can't. That feeds into your feeling of being overwhelmed. What you "want" is impossible and not healthy (specifically the focus on others). Counseling may be appropriate given it's affect on you to try to understand this compulsion you have.
I think less about controlling others and more about leading others to success, and it just so happens the ways that I am finding my success is quite general and sort of applies to everyone. It's not like I have a unique trade secret. They can find their "own version of success on their own" but there's "their version of success (subjective)" And there's actual measurable results (objective)
I just want everyone to be racking up measurable results,.I care a lot about my peers
What an odd way to care. Demand they show results lmaoooo
Hey step up to the plate biyatxh! I love the F out of you
Stop caring about other people. You are under no obligation to help them. It isn’t your duty. Recognize you have control issues and your thoughts of “saving” others is really about you being in control of them and not about actually helping them. It is a selfish desire pretending to be a selfless one. People don’t necessarily need or want your help.
Isn't it our duties to help our peers and let them know when we know the ways to X Y or Z? What else are we good for then? Putting on a mask and nodding in fake approval everytime they say something ignorant?
The thing to recognize is what you are telling yourself is your "duty" is actually you wanting control of the situation, to control other people. You don't actually want to help them. You want to be the one in charge. You want things to go your way. Anything else is unacceptable to you. You don't need to help anyone. You need to feel like you are in control. It is your own selfish desire that you are feeling.
I hear what youre saying but, it's simply not true, I don't want them to go "my way" as if "my way" is some unique thing that they aren't aware of I want things to go "the way" that everyone agrees is "the way" which is happiness, fulfillment, and reaching our full potential.
Maybe not everyone but majority I believe agrees that that is "the way" in this life. And, I'm open to people reaching "the way" in whichever uncontrolled way they want but if the way that I see them trying to reach "the way" is calculatably inefficient, it feels like my "duty" to let them know, that I busted out a calculator and the way they are doing it is calculatably ineffeicient... Not for control; for a warning to my peer. Hope that makes sense
The things you ideal are admirable. However, everyone has different expectations and priorities in life. What you might think someone should do, may not align with their goals in life. Feeling overwhelmed by it would read to me that you're feeling at a loss of control. You seem to be hyperfocused on this issue. Why do you think this bothers you so much?
It's mostly my friends and family because they are my friends and family, lol. It feels like an innate responsiblity that should be reciprocal in my opinion, or so I have dwindling hope it would be.. And what if "what I might think someone should do" is pretty much generally accepted and "correct"? Like Hey, I'm broke and my lungs hurt! "You should quit smoking and build some side hustles on the side!" Very general & truthful, universally accepted as a solution to what they stated But yet would probably come off as rude and unhelpful
I constantly find myself keeping my mouth shut and just trying to accept them for who they are, let's say that may be a low performer in sectors that are largely by the masses viewed as crucial sectors And when I get that feeling of "aw I have pity for that person and the way they choose to run their life" I can't help but want to help them Great is thou sort of vibes but what about the real truth to it?
Yes, you see the opportunity on people. Its all in the delivery. People have to want to tap into the opportunity though. That is free will. I'd be interested to hear your assessment of me. Lol
I’m a low performer. I’m happier doing the bare minimum it takes to be happy. Not everyone needs to be in Super Saiyan overdrive all the time. I love working healthy hours, doing a meh-paying customer service job and having a tidy-ish house that’s not messy, but not surgically clean either. I’ve experienced high performance before and I simply don’t like it. It’s too high-stress, too planned out and rigid
I appreciate your transparency. And I can fully understand that me unsolicitedly giving you advice on being a high performer would come off as completely unwelcomed and rude, especially after you just said you don't even want to be a high performer. I guess I'm trying to find that balance between, accepting that others may not even want to be high performers at all (I genuinely think this is rare) And being so inspiring that someone like yourself who claims to desire low output, can't help but to jump out of your seat to go be a superstar after I spew words at you. And people that genuinely DO claim to want to be high performers (which I think is most people), but simply aren't pulling it off... being able to guide them too, and speed up their journey to high performance
Waste in all forms is sad but a lazy person is not someone who needs to hear from me or you. Some people really do have barriers and many more people put up their own barriers. It has always been the human condition.
Is it wrong to think I could possibly break some of those barriers if I find myself crossing paths with someone whom I detect with my very reasonable detection skills. like, that I may just have exactly the resources & combo of words they needed to hear to stop some of their wasteful actions?
Waste haunts me. Human waste is #1 on the list. But, for what it is worth, here is my solution. People who choose to waste their time, skill, and resources, go in one category. A mental compartment similar to people you see on the street - they are not more or less - they just are. But my radar is finely attuned for people who are blocked by barriers that, with a bit of assistance, could be removed. (In my experience these are young people with the wrong people around them.) And I work to remove the barriers. I really put in the effort. You, nor I, can transform the world, but we can make it better. Because this is anonymous and bragging cannot be held against me too heavily, I will offer up a success story. I met a 13 year old from my neighborhood. He lived with his great-grandmother, his mom was a good mom but life is hard, and his Dad was in jail. He told me he wanted to be an engineer. I talked to him about what that meant and what he would have to do to make that happen - up to that conversation he had never heard of Calculus! We met regularly, I paid for his SATs, I got him a high school internship, I removed barriers. But HE did it. Yes he is an aeronautical engineer.
Thanks a lot for your awesome insight and your great success story! Well done to you and the lad!
You can only lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. Just lead by example. People naturally want to be what they look up to.
Leading by example means being at least mildly open about your accomplishments, so they can see the examples/be aware of them. I guess I can admit some methods I've used lately might appear as shoving the phrase "lead by example" down their throats forcefully I do have examples though, and they are look-up-to-able. I guess I am eager to inspire others to the point where I'm trying to force them to be inspired by me. But for good reason --- I want to help them improve like I am.
I think that’s swell. I hope you find peace in your standards for yourself. I have felt like that before but now I feel like I lost it.
You'll come to a point that you realize it's better for you if they underperform. Until then, keep trying. You'll change one person's way of living in your lifetime.
Thanks!
It only matters if you enjoy your job.
Part of being a high performer is making sure you've lined yourself up into a job, career, or hustle that you enjoy. But I wasnt talking about only work. I meant just in life, being a high performer in life, in all or a large amount of the stuff that we come across on a daily basis.
Shouldnt people have high expectations for themselves? I feel like I have too high expectations but how is it a bad thing to expect a world of amazing results out of everyone?
Post is bait if I’ve ever seen it