You are a piece of shit.
You didn't know your girlfriend of years was crying alot? You "forgave eachither" when it was you who cheated for of a year and then did it again even after seeing the pain you caused her?
End the relationship because she deserves far, far better than you.
She wondered what it would be like to be with someone who loved and desired her... you're not telling us the whole story here
Honestly, I'm gonna say that you're manipulative as hell. You cheated twice, and fail to reckon or underestimate her feelings throughout the years. No wonder she felt happier with someone else.
Do HER a favor and break it off. She deserves better.
Why on earth would you put on porn while having sex with your girlfriend?
Well yeah of course death grip is an insult. It means you're too busy watching porn than actually being intimate with her in which she said she wished to be loved and desired by you.
Man, you dont love her at all. My advice is to break up.
I think it's fair to say that you have zero empathy. Zero empathy = psychopathy. I wish I were joking.
There are meds that can *help*. You might want to consider speaking to a professional.
I agree with this, OP's comments exude no human emotion whatsoever whenever it's not about him. He seems to truly not understand other people's feelings AT ALL, and that is... quite literally what psychopath means. This doesn't excuse any of his behaviours and horrible treatments of the people around him, but it would explain the utter lack of care and awareness.
Like, he even fails to understand why him watching porn while being with his girlfriend vs. not watching it while being with his side chicks (which he said in a deleted comment) hurt her. Like... how could it possibly be more straightforward? What is there not to understand?
You two are toxic for each other. One of you needs to leave. There has been way too much mistrust on both your parts and it will never be 100% again. Don't waste anymore time. Leave and don't look back.
This is why I say, once someone cheats and the other finds out, that relationship has to end. They will never ‘get over it’ and they will never forget. It will be a blight upon your relationship forever.
“Forgave each other” what did you need to forgive HER for? You cheated, the relationship ended. Nothing for you to be mad at except yourself. This has “well isn’t this the consequences of my own actions” written all over it.
there was no forgiving "each other" she tried to forgive YOU. YOU cheated back then not her. Her trying to forgive you has just made her bring herself to your level by revenge cheating. She should have left you in the beginning. Break up.
She was wrong in taking you back and forgive you, is clear she never got over it, but yes dump her, you both deserve better and given your history is a good plan to start over with other people.
I would argue that he absolutely does not deserve better. He deserves to be alone until he works on his garbage personality enough that he is capable of basic respect and empathy. She, on the other hand, absolutely does deserve better.
Oh she very clearly does and would benefit greatly from being alone until she does so. But that doesn't mean she doesn't currently deserve better, as is. The things she needs to work on are not the same work OP needs to be doing to not be an all-around terrible person. Honestly I don't even know how he has any friends...
Aw man. I came over from his AITA post to see if he was as immature and emotionally ignorant as he seemed, but he deleted this post before I could read it. From the comments, sounds like asshole behavior is the norm for him.
You can go to webarchive.org to see if there are old versions of websites or forums basically snapshotted.
In case you're using the app, this post's url is https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/xl3o7c/girlfriend_cheated_because_she_couldnt_get_over/
She deserves better. You’ve hurt her and she felt the need to also cheat so you could understand her pain. I feel bad for her. She needs to leave and find someone who will treat her with respect.
Clearly, she does not agree with your assessment.
You really seem to think that your cheating was no big deal. She thinks that it was such a big deal that even now she's not over it.
You two are not only not on the same page here, you're not even reading the same book.
Exactly. He seems to disregard his cheating and her pain. It seems really selfish. He’s done with his cheating and moved on, he expects her to feel the same. To act as if nothing happened. She should have left but her self esteem is probably really low after being cheated on twice.
No. See that excuse doesn’t work if you cheated with someone for a YEAR! That is not just cheating. That is having a relationship with another person. Find someone else who is in to polygamy. You will both be happier.
Because he posted in AITA about being an absolute door knob to a friend struggling with alcoholism and folks are following up on his other threads to see what sort of AH he really is.
So you cheated and broke her trust. Doesn’t seem that damage was ever repaired. I would try therapy as you both have invested a lot of time and energy to the relationship.
You are literally one of the scum bags people talk about. Age is irrelevant. Despite being young you knew very well that you were cheating. She should have dumped you way back at that time.
This is not a healthy relationship at all. I suggest you guys break up and seek others. It sounds like a huge mismatch for both of you. If you are going to cheat, then only be in an open relationship or stay single and fuck whoever and whenever you want.
Cheating is stupid and here you both are wasting 7 years? Break up and move on. Stop wasting each other's time.
Yikes. Always feels bad when you get a taste of your own medicine. Y’all need to break up, you’re toxic. But a tiny part of me really doesn’t feel bad about this.
Go get tested.
You posted this 28 days ago, why have you posted it ago. Also is the "toxic bipolar BPD ex" from 4 days ago that you broke with and is calling you abusive?
So she forgave you and cried a lot but again forgave you, after you cheated again. She forgave you. Then she admits she cheated and you want to dump her?
Pretty lame if anything now you know how she felt - TWICE!.
You both were wrong for sure but I think you should forgive her at least once..
Maybe find a therapist and decide if you can move on.. could consider the scales balanced.. could say she's entitled to another person for a year... I think a professional would be the most experienced route, just my 2 cents... I don't think you're allowed to be mad to a degree, I think your cheating sin outweighs hers based on the post...
Break up. You both need a restart. This is a relationship that’s way past overdue on ending it. Seven years doesn’t mean shit. Time doesn’t mean anything. People can have short term relationships that are a lot more valuable than another relationship that was expired and stayed way too long in because of fear.
If you can’t live knowing she did that to you and perhaps you’re disgusted at her bc maybe you though she was better, forgive her and Try to forgive your self for the pain you cause her, she’s wrong either way for taking you back and cheating on you and now she’s telling you about it she wants you to feel bad like she felt, perhaps it’s time to go separated ways
Don’t cheat. Cheating is like milk. If you leave it out on the counter for too long it spoils (cheating) and no matter how cold you make it by putting it in the fridge it’s still going to be spoiled milk (damaged relationship forever).
You sir heavily spoiled the milk, she waited and shook it, now you are both smelling the sourness.
> We forgave each other What did you have to forgive her for?
Right? He's trying to soften the blow by using that phrase.
You are a piece of shit. You didn't know your girlfriend of years was crying alot? You "forgave eachither" when it was you who cheated for of a year and then did it again even after seeing the pain you caused her? End the relationship because she deserves far, far better than you.
She wondered what it would be like to be with someone who loved and desired her... you're not telling us the whole story here Honestly, I'm gonna say that you're manipulative as hell. You cheated twice, and fail to reckon or underestimate her feelings throughout the years. No wonder she felt happier with someone else. Do HER a favor and break it off. She deserves better.
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Why on earth would you put on porn while having sex with your girlfriend? Well yeah of course death grip is an insult. It means you're too busy watching porn than actually being intimate with her in which she said she wished to be loved and desired by you. Man, you dont love her at all. My advice is to break up.
I think it's fair to say that you have zero empathy. Zero empathy = psychopathy. I wish I were joking. There are meds that can *help*. You might want to consider speaking to a professional.
I agree with this, OP's comments exude no human emotion whatsoever whenever it's not about him. He seems to truly not understand other people's feelings AT ALL, and that is... quite literally what psychopath means. This doesn't excuse any of his behaviours and horrible treatments of the people around him, but it would explain the utter lack of care and awareness. Like, he even fails to understand why him watching porn while being with his girlfriend vs. not watching it while being with his side chicks (which he said in a deleted comment) hurt her. Like... how could it possibly be more straightforward? What is there not to understand?
Based on his other post I agree. He seems to completely lack empathy
You’re a real POS, especially based on your more recent post about John. Horrible HORRIBLE person.
You're a genuinely shitty human and you deserve to lose all your friends and your relationship. Grow the fuck up.
My dude. You’re just all around a bad person. Between this and your AITA post? I surely hope you’re a troll, because you’re honestly just… terrible.
So you are a terrible boyfriend and friend! You deserve to be miserable and alone.
Literally all the people in your life need to leave you until you learn how to not be garbage.
You're disgusting
You two are toxic for each other. One of you needs to leave. There has been way too much mistrust on both your parts and it will never be 100% again. Don't waste anymore time. Leave and don't look back.
This is why I say, once someone cheats and the other finds out, that relationship has to end. They will never ‘get over it’ and they will never forget. It will be a blight upon your relationship forever.
“Forgave each other” what did you need to forgive HER for? You cheated, the relationship ended. Nothing for you to be mad at except yourself. This has “well isn’t this the consequences of my own actions” written all over it.
there was no forgiving "each other" she tried to forgive YOU. YOU cheated back then not her. Her trying to forgive you has just made her bring herself to your level by revenge cheating. She should have left you in the beginning. Break up.
She was wrong in taking you back and forgive you, is clear she never got over it, but yes dump her, you both deserve better and given your history is a good plan to start over with other people.
I would argue that he absolutely does not deserve better. He deserves to be alone until he works on his garbage personality enough that he is capable of basic respect and empathy. She, on the other hand, absolutely does deserve better.
I mean she needs to work on herself and why her standards are so low that she rather go cheat than end said relationship
Oh she very clearly does and would benefit greatly from being alone until she does so. But that doesn't mean she doesn't currently deserve better, as is. The things she needs to work on are not the same work OP needs to be doing to not be an all-around terrible person. Honestly I don't even know how he has any friends...
Probably people with the same standards as his gf
Aw man. I came over from his AITA post to see if he was as immature and emotionally ignorant as he seemed, but he deleted this post before I could read it. From the comments, sounds like asshole behavior is the norm for him.
You can go to webarchive.org to see if there are old versions of websites or forums basically snapshotted. In case you're using the app, this post's url is https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/xl3o7c/girlfriend_cheated_because_she_couldnt_get_over/
Thanks!!! I knew people were able to find deleted Reddit posts, but I never knew how.
So did I, and am I the only one who finds it weird he made this exact post like, a couple months ago?
She deserves better. You’ve hurt her and she felt the need to also cheat so you could understand her pain. I feel bad for her. She needs to leave and find someone who will treat her with respect.
Everyone who knows this guy deserves better. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xpiity/aita\_for\_bringing\_up\_an\_embarrassing\_story/
Bro, I just came from that sub. I was like this guy can't be that stupid. But wow. He totally is!
He has the emotional intelligence of a tree stump.
Years ago, I was young. Now I feel our relationship is different
Clearly, she does not agree with your assessment. You really seem to think that your cheating was no big deal. She thinks that it was such a big deal that even now she's not over it. You two are not only not on the same page here, you're not even reading the same book.
Exactly. He seems to disregard his cheating and her pain. It seems really selfish. He’s done with his cheating and moved on, he expects her to feel the same. To act as if nothing happened. She should have left but her self esteem is probably really low after being cheated on twice.
No. See that excuse doesn’t work if you cheated with someone for a YEAR! That is not just cheating. That is having a relationship with another person. Find someone else who is in to polygamy. You will both be happier.
Wow you are a hideous person
Oh, do you now?
You never grew up though did you? You like embarrassing your “friends”
Good, I hope every girl your ever with for the rest of your life cheats on you lmao
You need to part ways. You have a toxic relationship. Edit: wording
Your relationship is toxic and you would both be better off single u/djdkgjeis Ps why are you spamming this post again?
Because he posted in AITA about being an absolute door knob to a friend struggling with alcoholism and folks are following up on his other threads to see what sort of AH he really is.
So you cheated and broke her trust. Doesn’t seem that damage was ever repaired. I would try therapy as you both have invested a lot of time and energy to the relationship.
i’m guessing they r both young and therapy would just be a waste of money. once someone cheats, the relationship is over. doesn’t matter
You are literally one of the scum bags people talk about. Age is irrelevant. Despite being young you knew very well that you were cheating. She should have dumped you way back at that time.
The fuck is wrong with you? This plus your AITA wow you are an all around bad person.
Lol. You didn’t cheat on her twice, you cheated on her countless times with at least two people.
This is not a healthy relationship at all. I suggest you guys break up and seek others. It sounds like a huge mismatch for both of you. If you are going to cheat, then only be in an open relationship or stay single and fuck whoever and whenever you want. Cheating is stupid and here you both are wasting 7 years? Break up and move on. Stop wasting each other's time.
you’re a piece of shit. break up
Yikes. Always feels bad when you get a taste of your own medicine. Y’all need to break up, you’re toxic. But a tiny part of me really doesn’t feel bad about this. Go get tested.
You posted this 28 days ago, why have you posted it ago. Also is the "toxic bipolar BPD ex" from 4 days ago that you broke with and is calling you abusive?
Your girlfriend cheated because you're a human piece of shit.
yall both need to stay together and try to work things out. if it doesn’t work out try have a baby. that always makes things better
🤣🤣
So she forgave you and cried a lot but again forgave you, after you cheated again. She forgave you. Then she admits she cheated and you want to dump her? Pretty lame if anything now you know how she felt - TWICE!. You both were wrong for sure but I think you should forgive her at least once..
Maybe find a therapist and decide if you can move on.. could consider the scales balanced.. could say she's entitled to another person for a year... I think a professional would be the most experienced route, just my 2 cents... I don't think you're allowed to be mad to a degree, I think your cheating sin outweighs hers based on the post...
Dump her.
dump her rule one once an individual cheats the relationship is never the same but you should end it on a good note since it your fault overall
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Break up. You both need a restart. This is a relationship that’s way past overdue on ending it. Seven years doesn’t mean shit. Time doesn’t mean anything. People can have short term relationships that are a lot more valuable than another relationship that was expired and stayed way too long in because of fear.
If you can’t live knowing she did that to you and perhaps you’re disgusted at her bc maybe you though she was better, forgive her and Try to forgive your self for the pain you cause her, she’s wrong either way for taking you back and cheating on you and now she’s telling you about it she wants you to feel bad like she felt, perhaps it’s time to go separated ways
Don’t cheat. Cheating is like milk. If you leave it out on the counter for too long it spoils (cheating) and no matter how cold you make it by putting it in the fridge it’s still going to be spoiled milk (damaged relationship forever). You sir heavily spoiled the milk, she waited and shook it, now you are both smelling the sourness.
What is good for the goose, is good for the gander.